Latest / In The Driver's Seat / Purpose Isn't One Big Answer — It's Something You Can Live in the Next Hour
Transcript
- Lisa French: Purpose isn't one big answer you're supposed to find someday. It's something you can live within the next hour. I was planning this episode after listening to Gabby Bernstein. Then when Dolly Parton passed, I pivoted to her wisdom. Find out who you are and do it on purpose. I love that line because it makes purpose feel active, not abstract. Coming back to it now, I want to take it somewhere more grounded, not where to look for purpose out in the future, somewhere in the distance. Where is it alive today in how you spend your energy? There's a story most of us took us to truth without really much thought. Your purpose has to be one clear sentence. It has to sound impressive when someone asks you. What do you do? It has to last forever. And preferably it has to produce a paycheck. When purpose is framed that way, it starts to feel like a test you can fail. If you cannot name it in an elevator pitch, you think you're behind. If you love something but it doesn't earn an income, you think it doesn't count. If what lit you up at 30 doesn't light you up at 50, you You think you did it wrong. That kind of pressure makes it harder to figure out anything at all. A more workable way to think about it, and this was the heart of my newsletter last Tuesday, is that purpose is woven as threads throughout your life. Not one headline, threads. Some are thin, some are strong, some go quiet for a season and then return. Some have never been a job title. And they don't need to be. Living on purpose isn't finally finding one perfect line. It's about making a little more room for the threads that already bring meaning right where you are in the present. I live my life in the present. That's where I find purpose is the easiest to show up. Not just in the story you tell about your past, in what holds you today. I notice four subtle signals when a thread is active. None of them are dramatic. That's why we miss them when we're flying through life. One, time moves differently. You look up and more time has passed than you expected. You were absorbed, not distracted by things like your phone, completely immersed in whatever you're doing. Two, energy returns. You Finish and you feel more alive than when you started. You might be physically tired, but there's a peaceful satisfaction underneath all of it. Your heart feels full. Three, you keep choosing it without being asked. No one assigned it to you. No one is tracking it. You just gravitate towards it. You volunteer your time. You take the extra step. Four, people naturally bring it to you. They ask you for your advice on this or your help with that. Not because you advertise it, but because they feel your steadiness there. When one of those shows up during an ordinary week, that's not random. That's a thread with a little more sparkle on it. And you can follow it without overhauling your life. That's where micro purpose comes in. It's purpose you can live in a short amount of time. How you listen in the next conversation, how you bring gentleness to the next small task, the problem you choose to stay with a little longer because it matters to you. Those small choices accumulate into a life that feels on purpose without waiting for a big revelation. I want to share a thread of mine that wasn't a job title. It didn't pay me in dollars. Instead, it paid by filling up my soul. Years ago when I still lived in Iowa, I took two days off of work using up my vacation to go help at the Special Olympic Summer Games. I drove to Ames, checked in at eight AM at Jack Tri Stadium, met my contact for the day, got my volunteer shirt, and they assigned me to the cycling event. We had to walk like a half a mile to To the parking lot where they were holding the races. The air was early summer, kind of bright and warm, happy feeling. The athletes were all chatting with one another while their bikes were being inspected. People were honking horns, laughing, goofing around. You could feel it right away. This was one of the happiest places on earth. I was there to cheer, to keep the cyclists on the course, hand out water. Clap for all the accomplishments, big and small. What happened was I was the one who was filled up. I remember the little details because they have stayed with me. There was a cyclist who stayed in low gear the entire time, just taking it easy, having the time of his life. There was one girl who wrote up and asked me, How long is this race? Because I don't know. I mean, I really felt that in my soul if I would have been the one on the bike. She wanted to do well, but she was just happy riding. Someone else rode right past me, smiled big, and yelled out, Hi cutie. It's a beautiful day to be alive. He had no idea how much that lit me up. During one of the crashes, and there were a few, I was the first to the athlete, and then I ended up riding back with her in a truck to her camp to get her back to her family. That's when the girl Katie laid her head on my shoulder and started crying. She didn't need advice. She just needed someone who cared until she was reunited back with her mom. No big intervention, just presents. The next day, Friday, was much the same, ⁓ while I helped on the running long jump. No one cared about their skill level, no one cared if they outjumped someone else. No one cared if they barely made it into the sand, even. They were just proud to be there, proud of themselves, proud of their competitors. One long jumper shirt said, My abilities far exceed my disabilities. Positivity overflowed everywhere I turned. No grudges because someone was from a rival city. Everyone cheered for everyone else. Simply because they tried their best. They were there for each other. That's what you felt the most. I used to think purpose had to be something you could explain at a dinner party, but that weekend taught me something different. I cave up a couple of vacation days and some gas money. In return, I got hugs, high fives, and a heart that felt full for weeks after. Being useful in that simple way far exceeded having the perfect title for it. I loved it so much I went back the next year. Same deal. Two vacation days, same drive, same abundance of joy. Again, not because it added a line to my resume, because it was a thread that felt energetic in the present and I gave space for it in my life. That is my grow purpose. Not a headline. I had to announce a purposeful period of time that stretched into two old days, two years in a row, because I followed what had meaning. That weekend was a big example. Most weeks, micro purpose is much smaller, and smaller still counts. It can be 10 extra minutes with something that makes time slow down for you. It can be choose attentively listening in the next conversation. For someone who really needs a listening ear. It can be bringing effort to a task that no one will applaud you, but you know it matters. It can be finding a solution to a problem because you care about the people that it touches. You don't have to monetize it for it to count. And a purpose is allowed to change. What felt most alive at one chapter can be different from what feels most alive now. That's growth. After the Kids leave the nest after a career chapter closes, after you move states. The now what isn't announcing a failure. It's a permission slip to a new calling. When we release the idea the purpose has to be forever and impressive, we can finally pay attention to what's present. That's the Dolly Bridge again. Find out who you are. Notice who you are today. And then do that on purpose in small consistent ways. If this is resonating with you, stay with me for one small experiment before we close. I made it simple so you can try it this week without adding another project to your list. And if you find value in these conversations, please subscribe or follow. It really helps more people like you find in the driver's seat. And I appreciate you all. No long worksheet is needed. This week, I just want you to find that one thread that is showing you purpose. Use those four signals as a filter. Where does time not exist? What gives you more energy? What do you keep choosing without being asked? Where do people naturally seek you out? Don't evaluate it or try to decide if it's big enough. Just observe. Then give it a little bit more room to grow in your life. You're not deciding your whole future. You're just giving a little more space to what already has meaning in real time in the present. That's it. Give yourself permission to follow just that one thread. Purpose is not a prize for figuring yourself out perfectly, it's a practice of giving attention to what already matters to you today in small, consistent ways. Thank you for being here with me in the show description. You'll find the link to my newsletter, Hello Possibility. Subscribe for free if you would like to read my latest issue that I talked about ⁓ called Purpose Isn't the One Big Answer. And I'll also include a link to the Gabby Bernstein conversation that actually sparked this whole episode. Until next time, no, you're always in the driver's seat of your life.