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Aimlessness and The Miracle of Life - Hogen, Roshi · Zen Community of Oregon Dharma Talks

• 0:00
  Jomon: Hello and welcome. This is the Zen Community of Oregon, making the teachings of the Buddhadharma accessible to support your practice. New episodes air every week.
• 0:23
  Hogen: So again, we're doing, using as a framework, The Art of Living by Thich Nhat Hanh, and I've been going through it little by little. And as you all know, reading a book is not liberating. It's only when you put things into practice that they're actually liberating. But it's a wonderful book, and it's a it's a good summation of his teaching. So I highly recommend, it's very, very accessible.
• 0:49
  It starts off with, wishlessness, wishlessness, aimlessness as three foundational teachings. And right now we're working on the chapter called aimlessness. And aimlessness is the practice of being present. So normally we think of most of our lives as what am I going to how am I going to get things done? What's got to happen next?
• 1:16
  What's my schedule? You know, who's going to expect me? What do I have to accomplish? Am I making progress in my goals? Am I getting better?
• 1:24
  Am I getting, you know, whatever, wiser, faster? And Tekkenau Han is starting with this particular chapter says that actually the aim is not in the future. The aim is right now. And if you say the aim, the aim of my life is right now, it means in a way there's no aim at all because you're already present. You're already here.
• 1:50
  So he spent some time in this chapter talking about getting off the rat race. Getting off the rat race of constantly becoming and becoming and becoming. I'll get more, I'll get more, I'll be more, I'll do more, I'll say more, I'll whatever, and becoming. Now here's the chap, the place we're going to begin. The way out is in.
• 2:13
  This is from Thich Nhat Hanh's book. So long as we think we're a separate self distinct from the world around us, we think we can get out of the world. But once we see that we are the world, that we are made entirely of non us elements, we realize that we do not need to go running around after anything outside of us. The world cannot get out of the world. We are already everything we're looking for.
• 2:40
  So again, as I've reiterated over and over again, the black box, you know, our brain is a little black box. It's stuck in this cranium and everything comes into the black box. There is nothing that's outside of the black box. All perception, all sound, everything else is all processed right here, that we are not separate from the world. And somehow in our upbringing, in our mind, we keep thinking that there's something lacking here.
• 3:09
  There's something inadequate here. There's something missing here. And if I just work really hard and fill that hole, and I can fill it with relationships, or I can fill it with stuff, or I can fill it with lots of things. If I just work really hard and fill that hole, then I'll be okay. But the point of this particular teaching, aimlessness, is right here, right now, in the present moment, there is a place of satisfaction.
• 3:38
  So this week we had two dharma friends of mine, dharma teachers died last week or so. Jeff Tipp and Larry Ward, I don't know if you know them. We've had somebody just yesterday broke a vertebra in their back We had people with TBIs. We had people who have had one crisis after another. There's a whole litany of them that's happened in the sangha.
• 4:06
  And what do we do when we hear this teaching of everything is okay and our friends died and I have a life changing event? What do we do? How do we practice? It is exactly at the times that we are stressed and distressed that the practice of being present, the only time we can actually be, the practice of direct experience, the only time we can actually experience is so important. Because the mind, our thoughts, which is mind mind thought, that's our thoughts are always about something else.
• 4:49
  They're always a judgment. They're always a becoming. So when we try to solve our problems with our thoughts, we are constantly creating suffering, separation. And so this particular teaching is aim for right here and calm the mind down. Calm the mind down.
• 5:12
  Now it is possible for periods of time, it's not the not the ultimate goal, to have an absolutely still mind. You know, sometimes it just happens periodically. Sometimes we we're practicing for a while and suddenly everything gets very quiet. It's not a goal to live like that because the nature of the mind is it generates thoughts. But when we can touch the absolutely still mind we can really see that everything is moving all by itself.
• 5:43
  Everything is moving along just perfectly. Because when the mind and we are thinking that we are the mind, we think we are the thoughts and our mind is racing ahead. What about, what about, what about, what about? We are creating the future. We are creating the past.
• 5:59
  We are separating ourselves from the direct vivid experience of right now. The only place that there is freedom and liberation is now. We keep hoping sometimes that, oh yes, if I do the right thing, freedom, liberation will happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next lifetime, sometime in the future. But we can't experience anything in the future. We only experience it once it's now.
• 6:29
  So even if we are going to have complete total enlightenment and total peace next year, we won't experience it until it's now. Till it's now. Till it's now. So the emphasis on the now is the place that we keep saying that is where liberation is found, not in the future, it's found right now. So we're feeling miserable.
• 6:52
  We're feeling really unhappy. We're feeling tired. We're feeling, you know, unsettled. Well, how do we practice the now in the middle of misery, unhappiness, and unsettleness? First off, we have to we have to do our best to to not try to solve the problem with thinking.
• 7:14
  Often we feel miserable and we keep trying to solve the problem by thinking more, by thinking better, by by thinking ourselves out of it. And the more we try to think ourselves out of the problem of our own distress, the more distressed we become, distressed we become. So when we're feeling really bad when something has happened, at least at that time, at that moment, we calm down, slow down, feel the body right here, right now, anchor in what is without without the mind racing off. Last night, we were out at Great Valley when it's really hot weather. We sometimes will sit outside.
• 7:57
  And right now there are pretty enthusiastic mosquitoes. So if you say, was telling me that they wanted to have really intense practice. So I said, Okay, don't use any mosquito repellent. Take off all your nets and let's just sit out there. I sat with them, and so we just sat there.
• 8:21
  And you know, mosquitoes were thick. In that circumstance, you can't say, oh, mosquitoes, go away, go away, go away, I'll be happy. You can't say, oh, don't hurt, don't hurt, don't hurt, I'll be happy. You have to actually be so completely present with them. You have to be so completely present and you have to be present with the stillness inside of yourself that while you can feel them all, they aren't oppositional.
• 8:53
  We can't find some freedom in the midst of mosquito bites. And what's mosquito bites compared to being in the ICU? We can't find some freedom there, then we have a really hard time other places. So it's a matter of practice of training to when we have these, these aversive events, how can we practice and train bringing our mind into the present moment without a future so we can appreciate the way it is. Tirthan Han says, The concentration on aimlessness means arriving in the present moment to discover that the present moment is the only moment to which you can find everything you've been looking for and that you already are what you want to become.
• 9:41
  So what do we want to become? You know, we think, okay, what what do I want to become? You know, I want to I want to have peace. I want to pay the rent. I want to have a decent vehicle.
• 9:54
  I want a companion. I want respect, I want something meaningful to do, I want ease in my body. Well, we think, okay, if I want a job, and we think, don't have a job right now, the job is out there. But when we're doing this particular practice we turn our mind and say, okay, my job right now is the experience of what is. That is my job right now.
• 10:23
  And that will change. That will evolve. So I have my intention to get deployment but the job is right here, right now. And if we are, if we are anchored in right here, right now with a clarity of mind, we're much more likely to have things unfold in a skillful way. As I was talking last week after Chosen's, Way Seeking Mind talk at the monastery, part two will be next week, I think next Sunday.
• 10:53
  She had, from one vantage point, a totally blessed life. Lots of things, lots of wonderful blessings. But from another vantage point, she just met everything, every opportunity, every challenge. She just met it. And each time you meet a challenge it opens up.
• 11:10
  Something else comes. When we run from a challenge then the things don't open up. So being aimless and saying, Okay, I'm going to meet exactly what's right here. Then the next thing opens up, the next moment opens up. And it may be that with our vow, with our kind of ongoing mindfulness, respond to what is, we find particular work we want.
• 11:36
  This investigation, what is it that I want though? What is it I want? Is what is one that each of us need to reflect on. What is it I want? What is it I want?
• 11:47
  What am I longing for? When we're unhappy, we have to stop and say, what am I searching for? What do I And if we come up with, I want to get rid of this. I don't like this. I want to get rid of this.
• 11:59
  Well, that's that's okay. But what am I looking for once I've gotten rid of it? What will happen once I've gotten rid of it? What is the experience that I am endeavoring to find? Presence, loving kindness, openness, spaciousness, all that is found only in the present moment.
• 12:19
  Thich Nhat Hanh says, If you feel restless in the here and now or you feel ill at ease, you need to ask yourself, what am I longing for? What am I searching for? What am I waiting for? The practice that we often talk about, which Tikhon talks about all the time, is called mindfulness. And mindfulness just means that we are attending to the present moment.
• 12:44
  That is the way to become anchored in the present moment is by paying attention, paying attention, paying attention, paying attention. So attention is in a way our number one and most potent tool. You know, in the the enormous plethora of experiences that we have, we actually only attend to a very small part of them. You know, we don't attend to the multitudinous happenings in our body. We don't attend to what's going on in everybody else's movements.
• 13:17
  We don't attend to all the cars going by and the trees and the birds. We only attend to a very select number of things. And when we are attending and bringing our attention into things that are intimate and present right here, we have the opportunity to come to this place of aimlessness, of resting, of being present. Attention is our number one most potent tool. You know, I love neuroscience, I love, you know, neurophysiology.
• 13:52
  I mean, I love, you know, all kinds of things like that. But knowing about, you know, axions and quarks and things is not liberating. No matter how much you know, it's not liberating. And I was reading listening to Sam Aldman talking about the dangers of AI. He was ahead of he is ahead of OpenAI who owns ChatGPT.
• 14:17
  But that's not liberating. What is liberating is our own direct experience using our awareness right here, right now, feeling it. Then it has some impact. Then it catches our attention. Then, you know, everything we understand, all that stuff in media is not liberating.
• 14:40
  We somehow hope that if I understand something, the understanding will be liberating. But understanding, as they used to say in EAST, when I was younger, EAST seminar training. They say, understanding is the booby prize. Understanding is the the junk reward you get just for participating. Thich Nhat Hanh says, we believe this life is somehow insufficient and unsatisfactory, and we can touch only the deepest, most fulfilling level of existence after we die or somewhere else.
• 15:16
  Sometimes we feel we need to shed this body in order to truly touch the ultimate. We have a sense there must be a better place, a happier, more perfect place, some place else later on. So whether we have hopes for heaven or we have hopes for a heavenly realm or we have hopes for the the heavenly life that we will lead once that we have consummated all of our aspirations, Again, as all causes suffering. Take Byron Katie in her book, Power of Now, has a little chapter in it called Purpose in Life. And the chapter is the investigation of I believe I have to have a purpose in life.
• 16:07
  Is that true? Now think about purpose in life. Purpose in life means I'll have some future. I know what the future is going to hold. I know what's gonna happen when I get to the future.
• 16:17
  I know how the future will unfold. And my purpose is somehow out there. And she keeps saying, you'll never know the future. Future is always unknown. The future is always a mystery.
• 16:27
  You'll never know it. The purpose of our life has got to be right here in this breath at this time. The purpose of our life is not somewhere else. It's not found. I will go to heaven and then all the problems will solve.
• 16:43
  I will get I will go and be the CEO of of, you know, NVIDIA, and then I'll be rich and famous or whatever. The solution has got to be right here, right now. And the satisfaction, the loving kindness, the openness, the presence, the ease that we can touch and know right here right now is what the world is thirsty for, what the world needs. It does not need more agitators. It does not need more people trying to break things down.
• 17:23
  It does not need more people building things up. It does not need, it needs kindness, it needs love, it needs the ability to have a person of wisdom and serenity be able to be present in the midst of the chaos of samsara. To practice aimlessness is to identify what it is you're looking for, waiting for, running after, and let it go because you are enough. The practice of the present moment, the practice of aimlessness is based upon the fact that we are alive and that we are the only one who actually inhabits this particular body mind. And the fact that this is of all the things that could have happened in the universe, how did this happen?
• 18:11
  How did this being with these mosquito bites, with these, you know, feelings, how did that happen? And we think, I don't know, but the probability is so low that all those causes and conditions would come together that it's a miracle. And so the fundamental insight of aimlessness is you're a miracle. Your life is a miracle. Your life is so extraordinary.
• 18:38
  It's one of a kind. And no matter what particular challenges we think we're having, to to meet them with appreciation, with the power of mindfulness, and to meet the miracle of this life. And miracle by miracle doesn't mean that suddenly we have this ecstatic some people do, some people do have an ecstatic awakening of the miracle of this life. But a lot of people, it just slowly grows upon them. Oh, it's pretty extraordinary.
• 19:15
  It's pretty extraordinary that I can talk and see and hear and smell. It's pretty extraordinary that I can meet people and that I know how to love. It's pretty extraordinary. And they begin to slowly, with mindfulness, with awareness, with being anchored in the present, come to the miraculous understanding of the miracle of our own life. And that miracle is not predicated on money or relationship or cars or houses.
• 19:47
  It's predicated on being alive. And everybody here succeeds a 100%. You are enough. You are enough. So just imagine if you were going through your life with a sensation of you were not failing, you were not inadequate, just imagine you're not, you know, things are impermanent, they're always going to be changing.
• 20:13
  So rather than going through our life, there's a subtle sense of inadequacy or maybe rejected or maybe incompleteness or maybe that we actually went through our life with a sense of confidence. Oh, and this life is a miracle. I have great confidence. And I'll just meet whatever comes with great confidence. There are forest fires, I'll meet with great confidence.
• 20:34
  There's poverty, I'll meet with great confidence. There's success, I'll meet with great confidence. I'll meet it with great confidence because it's part of the miracle of this life. So we have to practice, practice, practice. And again, the number one tool, mindful awareness.
• 20:56
  Not belief.
• 21:03
  Jomon: Thank you for listening to the Zen Community of Oregon podcast and thank you for your practice. New episodes air every week. Please consider making a donation at zendust.org. Your support supports us.