Latest / Yes And Land / Soul and Going From Lone Wolf to Leader | Kit Bate

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Soul and Going From Lone Wolf to Leader | Kit Bate · Yes And Land

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  They snatched us up, threw us in their RV, and
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  we hit the road. But part of it, I think, for
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  me also was relatable, where I grew up in a situation
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  where we didn't have a whole lot. Not totally
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  my situation. I'm not on the streets trying to
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  sling newspapers, but having to go out and really
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  hustle and grind and work from a young age, doing
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  babysitting or mowing lawns or whatever it was,
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  just kind of odd jobs from a young age to try
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  and get by. I was like, hey. i kind of understand
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  a little bit what they're what they're going
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  through but i've got the means to do it i want
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  to give them stuff that i wasn't able to have
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  but i what i don't want to give them is a sense
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  of entitlement or the go -getter mentality sometimes
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  repels people away from you you see this in the
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  the sports world you see this in hollywood where
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  there's a lot of success that's being had but
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  low levels of satisfaction because They're not
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  doing those extra things. It's all about them.
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  You don't have to be given anything to become
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  great. And a lot of times you become great because
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  you had nothing. Welcome to Yes And Land, where
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  we say yes to the reality of yesterday and today.
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  And we say and to the possibility, growth, and
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  imagination of tomorrow. Welcome to Yes, Anne
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  Land. Today, we are headed to the streets of
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  New York City in 1899 with Disney's Newsies,
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  which is the story of Jack Kelly, who is the
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  best newsie in Manhattan, and he spends really
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  most of the movie planning to leave it behind
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  and go to Santa Fe or whatever other place it
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  is, just not in New York City. Now, our guest
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  today, he knows this movie. by heart because
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  as a kid, he watched it over and over and over
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  again. And we'll talk about exactly why that
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  happened. And he is now 20 years, 20 years plus
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  into a career in mortgages of a lot of years
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  into doing mortgages. And he's here to talk about
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  what I'm going to call going from a lone wolf
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  to a leader, which is something that. I think
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  many people have experienced, but certainly the
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  movie Newsies is a really good highlight of that.
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  Some of the wounds that come from why somebody
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  thinks they should be a lone wolf and to the
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  evolution of stepping into helping other people
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  and being a leader. So it should be fun today.
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  Yeah, I'm excited for it. It's going to be good.
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  Okay, so Kit. Take us back to growing up in where
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  I believe you grew up, which is Atlanta. Yep.
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  Atlanta, Georgia. Yeah, that was where I was
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  born and raised. And my grandparents lived down
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  the road in Jacksonville, Florida. And they decided
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  one year that they were going to take me and
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  my sister on a road trip out to Utah to do this
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  like... grandparents grandkids camp like dinosaur
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  camp kind of thing in vernal utah and and uh
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  and so so they they snatched us up threw us in
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  their rv and we hit the road which is like a
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  i don't know three or four day trip when you're
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  you know breaking it up like they did yeah in
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  an rv you can't exactly go fast oh no It's like
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  a slow grandparents plus RV. Like you're compounding
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  the slowness there. So, so we had lots of time
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  hanging out in, uh, yeah, my sister Mackenzie
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  is her name, but, uh, yeah. And, uh, we had,
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  you know, we took a couple, took a couple of
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  VHS videos in the, uh, in the little TV that
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  has like the built -in VHS player. and um and
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  one of them was uh was newsies and we put that
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  in and we liked it so we watched it again and
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  we like watched it again again you know all the
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  songs we're like trying to learn the songs and
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  we're quoting the movie and so we ended up watching
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  it between you know three or four days there
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  three or four days back and uh watched that thing.
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  I don't know how many times it was, it was probably
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  at least 20 or more times that we, that we watched
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  it on repeat and, you know, rewind sitting there,
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  rewinding the movie and then hitting play again.
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  And, uh, so yeah, so that was where the, the
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  love of newsies was, was birthed for me. Well,
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  I think, I think it's something that, you know,
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  kids today don't understand what it was like
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  for us at that point in time going on long road
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  trips because we didn't have devices. We didn't
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  have a phone and have a tablet. And so most of
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  the time it was like you read a book or you kind
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  of try to play a game with your siblings. But
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  the game is like. you know the license play game
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  yeah how many cows can we get exactly how many
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  railroad cars are on this yeah train that we're
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  passing it had to be quite the delight to be
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  able to have a tv with at least a vhs oh yeah
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  that was luxury yeah that was that was money
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  because watching we'll be watching a show 20
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  times right now you think like wow why would
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  you watch it that many times well that's what
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  you had yep and so you did what what was it about
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  newsies that made you want to watch it that many
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  times and enjoy it as opposed to having a show
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  on so many times that you're just like, man,
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  I hate it now. Yeah, no, it was, I think a lot
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  of it was just obviously the, the quality of
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  the songs and like the, the rebellion of the
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  kids. And like, it was, it was really, I don't
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  know, fun and entertaining. Um, but part of it,
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  I think for me was, was also, was relatable where
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  I grew up in, in a situation where um where we
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  didn't have a whole lot and and so um you know,
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  the, the luxuries of life were, were very like
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  few and far between. And so, so then watching
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  newsies where you take these kids that really
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  don't have a whole lot, but they've got each
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  other and they band together and they rise above.
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  And so that, I think for me kind of struck a
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  chord a little bit too, where it was like, Hey,
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  that's kind of like not totally my, my situation.
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  I'm not on the streets, like trying to sling
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  newspapers, but, you know, having to go out and
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  really hustle and grind and work from a young
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  age doing, you know, babysitting or mowing lawns
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  or whatever it was you know just kind of odd
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  jobs from a young age to try and get by I was
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  like hey like I kind of understand a little bit
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  what they're what they're going through so yeah
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  how do you think that learning those things at
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  a young age of like you know I gotta go out there
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  and do some things I gotta go out there and work
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  kind of hard to earn some extra money to have
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  some money for things what what do you think
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  that taught you that's helped you kind of in
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  your career be successful and as successful as
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  you are well i think i think a lot of it is um
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  one the work ethic right you just gotta get out
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  of work hard like kids these days um don't don't
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  really value as much the strong work ethic um
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  which kind of leads into the other piece of it
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  where it's i think now we're very much in a generation
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  of instant gratification and it's like hey like
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  all you got to do is hop on youtube or on instagram
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  and you can make millions of dollars and like
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  you don't have to like work up to it or like
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  you know do a whole lot they see that and there's
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  so much more media and we talk about the media
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  and the media portrays it this way and that way
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  well now we've got the the media has compounded
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  like a hundred fold and there's so much more
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  media to influence everything even more than
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  you know when we were kids and all that it was
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  was just like when you turn on the news if you
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  turned on the news like that was it now it's
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  like 24 7 it's in your pocket and like it's just
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  there all the time And so now there's even more
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  of the perception of being able to strike gold
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  quick and get rich quick. And there isn't the
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  portrayal of like, oh, it's hard. You have to
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  grind. You have to learn the discipline and the
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  work ethic. And so for me, for us, I think it
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  was kind of the same. Era of, of millennials
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  where we're like, we're, we're like the, the
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  old millennials where like we understand and
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  value technology, but also have that overlap
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  of like the old school, just like grind it out
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  and work hard. Yeah. Do you think, do you think
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  we also contribute to our kids kind of losing
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  some of that work ethic? Because, because I don't
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  know, like, like I think about it. when i was
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  when i was growing up like yeah i mean if i wanted
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  something extra i i had to go i had to go mow
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  lawns right i had to like i wasn't going to get
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  that you know uh extra shirt or extra pants or
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  the shoes that i really wanted unless i did that
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  and i wasn't mad about it it was like okay if
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  i want that i gotta go get it now for the most
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  part i mean at least you know for for kids that
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  i'm around for you know uh families that i've
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  been around a lot of times it's we just give
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  our kids those things we don't we don't work
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  with okay you gotta go do some things chores
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  to go earn some money and then you gotta spend
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  your money to do it i think sometimes we've lost
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  that a little bit we just give our kids those
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  things and we kind of empower that thinking yeah
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  i think that it comes from i think that that
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  stems off of two things one When the generation
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  of hard workers has developed that, they and
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  we have succeeded in – current times and so we
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  have we have more of the means than our parents
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  and the generations before us had and so we have
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  the the means to provide that for them when it's
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  like hey we need this and instead of like okay
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  well like let's take the time to figure out whose
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  lawn you could go mow and ask them it like takes
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  more time and so because of the inundation of
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  like that instant gratification like that's where
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  i think his parents were at fault sometimes too
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  like we don't take the instant gratification
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  but we give the instant gratification because
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  it's like that's easier and we're busy with our
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  strong work ethic yeah like we're too busy working
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  hard good point to to pass that on to the next
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  generation because without being intentional
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  about it and so um so between that and the evolution
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  of of amazon where it's like oh yeah we can get
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  that tomorrow like or you know in the next like
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  five hours it'll be on your doorstep um And so
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  there's a combination of things that just empower
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  us to just do it simple. And when we work hard,
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  we've also identified ways to accomplish things
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  faster and easier. And so it's just like, oh,
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  yeah, we can get that done. And so that's kind
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  of our mentality. And so if we don't slow down
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  and recognize when our kid is asking for something
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  and switch to this is going to take some time.
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  We can't get it done right away. You've got to
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  earn it and work for it. So part of it is because
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  of our strong work ethic, we're disabling our
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  kids. It's such a good point. I hadn't thought
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  about it in that way because when I think about,
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  okay, so I have a business. I'm an entrepreneur.
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  I went through schooling to do the things that
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  I'm doing. I had to work hard to do it. I'm at
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  work. I'm making decisions all day. I'm holding
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  people accountable. And it's really hard. to
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  like go home and be like, okay, now I'm going
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  to do the same thing. I'm going to hold them
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  accountable. I'm going to require that they do
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  things, put in more effort. Cause I could get
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  home. I'm kind of like, well, I want to have
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  fun too. We want to relax mentally. I just want
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  to go chill with them. I want to go hang out
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  with them. Hey, you need something? Sure. I'll
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  get it for you. It's such an interesting point
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  because you know, we do, if you do work really
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  hard and many in our generation know how to do
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  that. I mean, I guess the prior generation would
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  argue we're lazy, but I don't think we are. I
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  think we do work pretty hard. i definitely do
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  that i definitely enable my kids that way and
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  in part it's selfish because i don't sometimes
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  want to put in the extra work to help guide them
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  to delayed satisfaction guide them to working
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  harder for the things that they want and the
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  kids that do end up being the ones who just decide
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  to i mean i i was actually really impressed with
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  my oldest this summer um he's he's doesn't like
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  school much he's getting better he's a junior
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  in high school he's getting better and i'm really
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  glad that he has he had to make the decision
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  i couldn't force it But he and his stepbrother
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  just decided that they wanted to do a business.
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  They said they wanted to clean garbage cans.
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  Love it. And so they find a power washer to borrow
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  that somebody had. They go find the right chemicals
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  to use. They used AI to create little flyers
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  to hand out and went around themselves and handed
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  them out and cleaned a bunch of garbages and
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  made some good cash. I didn't do anything. And
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  I was like, I probably could have done more to
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  encourage that. And he shouldn't have had to
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  do it all on his own. But I love that he did.
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  Because those lessons that I'm sure that he took
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  from doing that this summer, he's going to carry
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  with him. And things that he learned about, okay,
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  well, that didn't work. Maybe our pricing wasn't
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  right. We didn't market well enough. Because
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  there was times where they spent four or five
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  hours to make like 25 bucks. Because sometimes
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  those garbage cans were really dirty, but they
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  wanted to do a good job. And so I love the lessons
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  they learned from that, but it wasn't because
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  of me, that's for sure. Yeah, well, and sometimes
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  I think that when you have those moments and
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  you realize that opportunity to help out and
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  help them do it the right way or more efficiently
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  and price it better so that they're adequately
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  compensated, those are good reminders of the
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  opportunities that we have to kind of set some
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  of those things in motion. Yeah. And not think
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  that, OK, if if I try and slow down right now,
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  that means I got to slow down all the time and
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  do everything for them and guide them and be
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  a business part, an unpaid business partner on
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  a lot of those things. But to just do it once.
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  Sure. And set it in process where it's like,
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  hey, what do you think? And like put it on them
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  like, Dad, can I have this? Well, yeah. Like
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  how much how much money do you have? What? Like
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  me? I'm like, I don't know. Like I've got some
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  cash in the piggy bank, but like. But like taking
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  the time to have those conversations and then
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  as you do that, then it spurs those ideas of
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  like, OK, well, I don't have that much money.
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  How much money could I get? And so we've kind
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  of – what we've done in our family is we've kind
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  of set a precedence of like, yeah, if you want
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  something, you can have it. Like you can get
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  it right away if you've got the money to do it.
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  Like that's your money. You're welcome to use
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  that. And then there's times where they want
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  something big. And, and so to say, Hey, like
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  you want a, like for a while it was like the,
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  um, like the high end scooters that were like
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  200, 300 bucks and instead of like the, the $20
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  razor scooter. And, uh, and so that was a thing.
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  And it was like, they're like, dad, can we have
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  this? And it's like, man, like that's going to
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  be hard for, for my like nine year old to, to
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  come up with 300 bucks. But I've got the means
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  to do it. I want to give them stuff that I wasn't
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  able to have. But what I don't want to give them
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  is a sense of entitlement. And so then what we
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  kind of honed in on was like we'll go halves.
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  We'll go halves with you on big ticket items.
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  So that way they still have to work their butt
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  off to save up $150. But if they do that, then
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  – know i can match that either as part of like
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  christmas or part of their birthday or if i'm
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  feeling super generous and just want to do it
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  randomly so that they know that they've got my
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  support to help with that but i'm not just giving
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  it all to them and taking away that opportunity
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  for them to develop the work ethic for them to
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  be have the creative mindset to build build the
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  business hand out flyers create the flyers like
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  do all of that to to learn how to how to have
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  those skills for the rest of their life. Um,
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  and so by doing that, then it's, you know, then
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  they started coming to me and saying, dad, will
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  you go half with me? So then it's not just like,
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  yeah, give me, give me, give me, give me. It's
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  just like, dad, like if I, if I put in some hustle
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  and grind, yo, can you spot me the rest of the
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  way? And, and that's much more acceptable to
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  me than, than just being like, oh yeah, well
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  I've got, I've got an extra 300 bucks. So yeah,
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  I got you. Like, here you go. Yeah. Besides this
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  podcast, I actually own a law firm, RCG Law Group.
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  And I'll be honest, most people think only about
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  calling a lawyer when something has gone sideways
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  already. We'd rather you know who we are before
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  that happens. So if you ever need us, we're right
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  here. And it's hard too because a lot of other
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  kids are getting that. They're getting it given.
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  I mean, when your kids go to their friends' houses
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  and they just see all these things that they
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  get and you know they wonder why they can't just
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  have those things and again like you're saying
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  like even when you have the means to do it because
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  you probably could like yeah i could give you
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  all those things but then it just doesn't have
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  the same impact i remember my parents did a great
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  job of this very thing and it made me think of
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  it when you were talking about it which is um
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  i wanted a new mountain bike i had a crappy old
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  one i don't remember what it was it was probably
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  a hand -me -down of some sort right like just
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  what we could do and i really wanted this huffy
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  bike it was white and it was cool and they made
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  me work for it and stay for it and then they
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  ended up helping me and i don't remember what
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  the split was because the split wasn't important
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  i knew that i had to work to get it and the prior
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  bike that i had i would leave it out on the driveway
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  all the time i would leave it out behind the
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  cars because i was lazy right and then my parents
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  like back in those days you didn't have a backup
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  camera and so you know if i'm leaving the car
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  the the bike out it's like man they're gonna
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  run it over one of these days Well, once I saved
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  up the money for that Huffy, I never left that
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  thing out. Oh, I did. I absolutely did. I loved
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  that thing. And the difference was all in what
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  I had to save to earn it and to do it. And, you
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  know, I never want to like pass judgment on people
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  for things they do for their kids. There's certain
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  things that I think I want to do different, which
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  is I hear a lot of people say like, well, my
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  kids are going to go to college and I got to
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  pay for their college. and that's great right
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  if they can pay for the college that's wonderful
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  um my parents didn't pay for my college um i
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  either got scholarships or i got student loans
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  it's just what i did right like that's what i
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  had to do and it's it's almost like it's just
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  foregone conclusion because in the divorces we
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  do that's something that comes up a lot well
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  hey if i gotta pay for colleges my ex now gonna
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  have to pay for it as well well no and you don't
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  have to either well why not because i'm gonna
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  well the court's not gonna make you you don't
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  have an obligation to pay your kid could figure
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  it out you know now again like i people want
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  to provide assistance to their kids and and and
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  that's good like we want kids to get education
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  we want them to do those things but when you
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  just give it to them They're not going to value
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  that education as much, I don't think. Yeah,
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  and that's the important thing is realizing what
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  you are taking away from them by giving something
• 18:49
  to them. And people don't slow down to do that.
• 18:52
  It's not like they intentionally were like, oh,
• 18:54
  well, I want to entitle my kid and I want to
• 18:57
  just make sure your life is easy on them. They're
• 18:59
  not thinking that, but they're just moving through.
• 19:03
  This is what my parents did for me. This is what
• 19:05
  I want to do for them. And they're not taking
• 19:08
  time to slow down and just be like, okay. How
• 19:10
  can how can we both benefit? How can we make
• 19:12
  sure this is being done the best way for for
• 19:15
  them? And maybe and it might be decided on that.
• 19:18
  That is the best way to help your kid is to give
• 19:20
  that to them, pay for their college because of
• 19:22
  their emotional needs or their circumstances.
• 19:25
  Like, you know, kids are very there's such a
• 19:27
  broader range, I feel like of of like. thought
• 19:32
  process and emotional needs and things that used
• 19:35
  to understand them better now too yeah and so
• 19:37
  so it's there and you might hone in and decide
• 19:39
  on that but take the time at least to think about
• 19:42
  the options and decide and look at it and decide
• 19:45
  which one is best instead of just looking at
• 19:47
  one option saying yes we're going with this because
• 19:49
  it's the only option not just not the best one
• 19:52
  yeah that's a great point so let's let's bring
• 19:55
  this into newsies yeah so If anybody hasn't seen
• 20:00
  Newsies that might be listening or watching,
• 20:02
  maybe give like an overarching storyline. Like
• 20:06
  what's going on in Newsies? What's the broad
• 20:09
  thing that's going on throughout this story?
• 20:11
  Our main characters, what the struggle is to
• 20:13
  kind of set the stage as we talk about this fantastic
• 20:17
  Disney movie, which then became a Broadway musical.
• 20:19
  Yeah. So, yeah. So the setting, like you said,
• 20:23
  is in New York. back when the newspaper companies
• 20:28
  were trying to make more money off of these kids.
• 20:32
  And so you've got a group of newsies, the boys
• 20:36
  that are selling the newspapers on the streets,
• 20:39
  and they have to go in and purchase the newspapers
• 20:43
  up front and spend money to then go out and sell
• 20:48
  and try and make a profit. And so if they don't
• 20:51
  end up selling all of them, then they could potentially
• 20:53
  be... losing money. And the newspaper agencies
• 20:57
  get together and say, hey, we're going to raise
• 21:00
  the price of our papers to the newsies. And so
• 21:04
  then it's costing them more. And they're like,
• 21:06
  we're like the poorest ones out here. Why are
• 21:08
  we getting charged while these guys making tons
• 21:11
  of money are just sitting in their fancy offices?
• 21:15
  And so so that was kind of like the premise of
• 21:18
  everything. And so you've got Jack Kelly as the
• 21:21
  main character where his dream is to get out
• 21:25
  of it one day, like make enough money that he
• 21:28
  can just leave and go to go to Santa Fe that
• 21:31
  he refers to it as and which to him was more
• 21:35
  of a fictitious place than an actual place, but
• 21:38
  just somewhere away where he claimed his family.
• 21:42
  was at but uh you know find out later on that
• 21:44
  not all that was totally totally accurate but
• 21:47
  he just wanted to get away and just be you know
• 21:50
  be in a place where he thought he could be a
• 21:53
  lot more happy and just content with life and
• 21:56
  um and then um there's a family that's fell on,
• 22:02
  on hard times that comes in and sends their boys
• 22:05
  to the workplace to go and, uh, and, and be newsies
• 22:11
  to be able to help out at home and provide for
• 22:13
  their family. Cause the dad got injured or something,
• 22:16
  right? Dad gets, gets injured at work. And so
• 22:19
  he can't, he can't work. So there's no income
• 22:21
  for the family. Um, so the boys show up and they're,
• 22:26
  they're kind of the clean cut polish kids and,
• 22:29
  and the. The street kids, the orphans that are
• 22:33
  working are looking at them like, wait, who are
• 22:36
  these kids? And so Jack Kelly comes in and is
• 22:42
  like, hey, I'll help you out. If you pay me a
• 22:44
  piece of what you're selling, I'll teach you
• 22:46
  the ways. And he looks at that as an opportunity
• 22:51
  for him as a business opportunity. And as the
• 22:55
  movie progresses and the – the increase in the
• 22:59
  cost of the papers then it evolves into like
• 23:03
  him not just helping this family but helping
• 23:05
  like all of new york all the newsies in the different
• 23:09
  different suburbs and areas of of new york to
• 23:12
  uh to band together to kind of fight and revolt
• 23:14
  against the the price increase And it's just
• 23:20
  – it's all the feel -goods. Of course every good
• 23:23
  movie has a happy ending, right? And so it gets
• 23:26
  into that where they make a deal with the newspaper
• 23:32
  companies, with the big dogs. And Jack Kelly
• 23:37
  ends up deciding maybe Santa Fe isn't what is
• 23:42
  going to make me the happiest. And he realizes
• 23:44
  having led all these people, led the family.
• 23:48
  led the the newsies that that's you know that's
• 23:52
  become his family and that's become what what's
• 23:54
  made him happy and you know starts off as just
• 23:57
  like me me me i need money i gotta get by to
• 24:00
  accomplish my dreams and then his dreams pivot
• 24:03
  into the feel goods of like i can make a difference
• 24:06
  and help other people yeah and and i think it's
• 24:10
  why i mean it's it's why disney stories are so
• 24:13
  good yeah because it has things that are relatable
• 24:15
  it has things that we understand that we can
• 24:17
  connect with um so when we take it back to the
• 24:21
  beginning right before they do the strike you're
• 24:24
  saying with with jack and he's um thinking he
• 24:28
  wants to go to santa fe right uh a couple of
• 24:31
  things a couple of quotes i pulled out that kind
• 24:32
  of i think help us understand him a little bit
• 24:34
  better because i mean he says his name is jack
• 24:37
  kelly and says his family's waiting for him out
• 24:39
  west in santa fe But we find out at some point
• 24:42
  in time, I think when he's in front of a judge,
• 24:44
  they say, this boy's real name is Francis Sullivan.
• 24:49
  His mother's deceased. His father's a convict.
• 24:53
  And then later in another part when he's talking
• 24:56
  with Sarah, he says, I'm just not used to having.
• 25:00
  Whether I stay or go matter to anybody. So what
• 25:04
  do you see as like the wound that he has? Why
• 25:07
  is it that he is at the beginning here, really
• 25:10
  this lone wolf, looking out for himself, right?
• 25:13
  He's wanting to bring in less than David just
• 25:15
  so he can make money off of him, right? So he
• 25:16
  can do it for himself. He wants to leave for
• 25:19
  himself. It's very much about him, or at least
• 25:22
  he thinks it is. What's the wound that you see
• 25:24
  there that he has? I think that there's that
• 25:28
  emotional void. of having somebody care about
• 25:33
  him and some someone to guide him and him just
• 25:37
  being on his own and uh and so you know he makes
• 25:42
  makes that comment of like you know i'm not i'm
• 25:44
  not used to anyone caring about whether i come
• 25:46
  or go like and have that family or that person
• 25:50
  in his life it's just like he can just do whatever
• 25:52
  he wants and so he's got that that emotional
• 25:55
  emptiness that uh it's just like He hasn't, he
• 26:00
  hasn't had that. He hasn't had, had the opportunity
• 26:04
  to really feel that ever until that point in
• 26:07
  his life. And so it's all, so by, by nature,
• 26:09
  it's has to have been about him, like self survival
• 26:13
  and like, what's in it for me and how much, how
• 26:17
  much can I get from it? And where's more opportunity
• 26:19
  for me and, and not seeing like, well. how can
• 26:24
  i how can i fill that emotional void with like
• 26:27
  maybe i can help somebody or maybe i can like
• 26:29
  may have you know contribute to the greater good
• 26:31
  like that thought hasn't even crossed his mind
• 26:33
  at that point in the story because he didn't
• 26:37
  have he wasn't surrounded with with those opportunities
• 26:39
  to even think that way yeah and i think it created
• 26:41
  a high degree of mistrust for him yeah because
• 26:45
  when he's first introduced to this family right
• 26:47
  uh lesson david is that yep and they bring him
• 26:51
  to their to their house and he meets the parents
• 26:54
  and meets the sister and then doesn't want to
• 26:56
  stay the night and he's going to leave and it's
• 26:58
  kind of like i think to some degree he didn't
• 27:00
  trust but also i think he didn't think that he
• 27:02
  deserved to have that you know i don't think
• 27:04
  he understood like no wait you don't have to
• 27:07
  do this alone no you know and it took some things
• 27:10
  and some experiences and i'm seeing more of that
• 27:12
  to open his eyes to that yeah it was it was very
• 27:15
  uncomfortable for him to even accept that like
• 27:20
  You kind of see in the portrayal in the movie
• 27:22
  where it's like, that would be cool. Sounds kind
• 27:25
  of nice, but that's not me. That's not how I
• 27:29
  roll. That can't be for me. Yeah. Right. I don't
• 27:31
  deserve that. That's not what I got. I have to
• 27:34
  do it by myself. Yeah. So then there's that level
• 27:37
  of just discomfort with it because it's such
• 27:41
  a new idea to him. And doesn't doesn't feel deserving
• 27:46
  of it. It's like that's not my upbringing. And
• 27:48
  so, yeah, thanks for the offer. But I know that,
• 27:51
  yeah, that you don't mean it or and that's not
• 27:53
  really for me. Yeah. And here's one of the things
• 27:55
  I think is really interesting about this character,
• 27:57
  because even though that's the case, he's got
• 27:59
  these deep wounds. You know, he is an orphan
• 28:02
  because his mother's deceased. His dad's obviously
• 28:04
  in prison. And yet there was there was moments
• 28:09
  and things even during that time that he was
• 28:12
  doing to help other people. where he was actually
• 28:14
  showing really what his character was. What are
• 28:18
  some of the things that you can think of that
• 28:19
  you can remember from what he was actually doing
• 28:23
  to serve and help others that wasn't actually
• 28:25
  selfish? Yeah, I think that he had filled that
• 28:31
  need of a family with the other orphans or with
• 28:35
  the orphanage, the little old man that was there.
• 28:40
  And those were the people that like, you could
• 28:43
  really see him like standing up for and wanting
• 28:45
  to protect and that became became his family
• 28:49
  although it wasn't like a normal structured family
• 28:52
  with rules and disciplines and things like that
• 28:55
  so there's a lot of things that we're missing
• 28:56
  from it but it was like hey like this is my brother
• 28:59
  and i'm gonna i'm gonna stand up for him and
• 29:01
  so then as the movie progresses then you see
• 29:04
  how he he takes on that role of kind of like
• 29:07
  the older brother and says hey like we're not
• 29:10
  gonna we're not just gonna tolerate this like
• 29:12
  we're gonna stand up we're gonna fight we're
• 29:14
  gonna strike we're gonna do these things follow
• 29:16
  me and then they you know the the younger brothers
• 29:19
  the the rest of the newsies feed off of that
• 29:22
  energy take that courage as a result of him kind
• 29:26
  of leading that way and uh And then that's where
• 29:30
  it gets fun and exciting, seeing all the newsies
• 29:33
  bond together and have that brotherhood to fight
• 29:36
  against the big deep pockets and the ones that
• 29:41
  are not mindful and caring of those kids. What
• 29:46
  do you think changed for him in that process
• 29:49
  to start coming to the realization that it was
• 29:53
  about those relationships that he was building
• 29:56
  with the people that are around him? the other
• 29:58
  newsies with lesson david with their family i
• 30:02
  think part of it had to had to do with um lesson
• 30:07
  david when they got introduced and he's seeing
• 30:10
  someone new coming in like that that doesn't
• 30:13
  normally have to be in that position and then
• 30:16
  when he met their family and realized like they're
• 30:19
  these people are taking care of each other there's
• 30:22
  those bonds and those connections where they're
• 30:25
  willing to do the unnecessary for the necessary
• 30:30
  like to to be able to go out on the streets and
• 30:34
  seeing seeing that support in that group i think
• 30:37
  prior to that for him was like very unintentional
• 30:41
  i was like oh well i got no options and these
• 30:42
  are the only people around me so these are going
• 30:44
  to be my family where it wasn't this like conscious
• 30:47
  effort of like protecting them and helping provide
• 30:50
  for them is just kind of more of like a natural
• 30:52
  evolution and then he goes and sees that happen
• 30:55
  and starts really getting the wheels turning
• 30:58
  and you start seeing that leadership quality
• 31:00
  come out in him where he's like oh like these
• 31:04
  guys are sticking up for each other and then
• 31:07
  it evolves into him sticking up for hundreds
• 31:09
  of of kids and or thousands as the movie kind
• 31:13
  of portrays and so i think that that was maybe
• 31:15
  a pivotal moment where he just seeing the bond
• 31:18
  and the love of of that family camaraderie and
• 31:22
  teamwork yeah yeah here's a quote that i found
• 31:25
  from john c maxwell i think fits really well
• 31:28
  here i want to get your take on it uh he said
• 31:30
  success ha sorry success happens when you add
• 31:34
  value to yourself but significance happens when
• 31:38
  you add value to others love it give me your
• 31:41
  take on that yeah um anybody i think with the
• 31:46
  right work ethic can find success like there's
• 31:52
  there's enough go -getters like there's a there's
• 31:55
  a book that i love called the go -giver yeah
• 31:57
  and it's it basically takes the concept of the
• 32:00
  go -getters where it's like hey you can hustle
• 32:02
  you can grind you can provide for yourself things
• 32:05
  can be fine for you But the go -giver mentality
• 32:09
  is basically that where it's the significance.
• 32:13
  Like what impact are you leaving on someone else?
• 32:17
  How are you helping direct other people's lives
• 32:19
  and encouraging and inspiring them? And so the
• 32:23
  go -giver is basically taking that same attitude
• 32:26
  of like we're going to make it happen no matter
• 32:28
  what and pivoting that to others. to like, I'm
• 32:33
  going to give no matter what, like you say something,
• 32:35
  I'm going to give you something like whether
• 32:37
  you ask for it or not, just because you commented
• 32:39
  and, and being that type of person that, that
• 32:44
  really attracts other people in where the go
• 32:47
  getter mentality sometimes repels people away
• 32:50
  from you. And so there's, there's a gap sometimes.
• 32:53
  And you see this, you see this in the sports
• 32:56
  world. You see this in Hollywood where, where
• 32:59
  like, There's a lot of success that's being had
• 33:02
  but low levels of satisfaction because they're
• 33:05
  not doing those extra things. It's all about
• 33:07
  them and their flashy, fancy houses and cars
• 33:12
  and like all the things that are very superficial
• 33:17
  and less attention that they pour into like giving.
• 33:22
  And then you see those sometimes as well. Sometimes
• 33:24
  the media catches on to that and you see the
• 33:27
  – the NBA stars, or you see the Hollywood superstars
• 33:30
  and actors and actresses that they're being highlighted
• 33:34
  for their charity work. They're being highlighted
• 33:37
  for like going out in the community, being cool,
• 33:40
  taking pictures and signing autographs and stuff
• 33:42
  like that, where you can see like the, the happiness
• 33:46
  and satisfaction there, as opposed to the ones
• 33:48
  that end up going bankrupt, hooked on drugs and
• 33:51
  like all these things, because they're so focused.
• 33:53
  It's very much the go. mentality and finding
• 33:57
  success for me and not finding significance like
• 34:01
  John C. Maxwell mentions. Yeah, I love that.
• 34:05
  That's a great depiction of that. So as we continue
• 34:09
  to look at Jack's story and as he starts to develop
• 34:13
  these leadership skills and actually starts thinking
• 34:15
  about these others, right? There's a scene where
• 34:19
  I feel like he does a really good job of showing
• 34:23
  some leadership. And so it's in a point where
• 34:26
  they're getting ready to do this strike and they're
• 34:29
  talking about what it needs to look like. And
• 34:31
  somebody says, I don't know what character is
• 34:34
  it says, it might just be from the general newsies
• 34:36
  crowd, but they say, keep talking, Jack, tell
• 34:39
  us what to do. And then Jack says, the choice
• 34:42
  has got to be yours. Are we going to take what
• 34:44
  they give us or are we going to strike? And so
• 34:48
  instead of just making that decision for him,
• 34:50
  because at that point in time, like clearly they're
• 34:51
  wanting to follow him. But he doesn't just say
• 34:54
  you have to do this. He's pushing it back to
• 34:56
  say you've got to make a choice and empowering
• 35:00
  them. What are some of the lessons you think
• 35:02
  that we can take from that as we have these opportunities
• 35:05
  either chosen or kind of thrust on us to lead?
• 35:09
  Before we jump back in, can I ask you a quick
• 35:12
  favor? If you're enjoying the journey so far,
• 35:15
  will you like, rate, and subscribe to our show?
• 35:18
  It helps us reach more people like you. We can
• 35:22
  design and create and build the most wonderful
• 35:24
  place in the world, but it takes people to make
• 35:27
  the dream a reality. Going back to the John C.
• 35:31
  Maxwell quote, you can find success by – you
• 35:34
  get to a certain point where you can find stuff
• 35:36
  on your own. You can make things happen, but
• 35:38
  you get to a point where you need other people
• 35:39
  because you only have so much time. So the success
• 35:42
  can be continued with other people supporting
• 35:44
  you and doing everything you say, but – If you're
• 35:49
  going to leave behind a legacy and leave significance
• 35:53
  and impact, you've got to empower those people
• 35:57
  that are supporting you to become more than they
• 36:00
  currently are. Instead of just being like, okay,
• 36:02
  you do this. You'll never do anything more. You'll
• 36:04
  never become anything more. You're here for me.
• 36:07
  And turning to them and saying, okay, well, what
• 36:09
  do you think? And that happens a lot of times.
• 36:13
  I've learned over the years. and business where
• 36:17
  instead of empowering or enabling, I guess is
• 36:21
  a better word, enabling people that work for
• 36:24
  you and with you to be trained on coming to you
• 36:30
  for answers, to be training them how to find
• 36:33
  answers, to create solutions themselves. And
• 36:36
  so when they come and say, hey, what do we need
• 36:40
  to do in this situation, Kit? Instead of just
• 36:43
  being like, oh, well, I know the answer. Here's
• 36:44
  the answer. This is what you're going to do.
• 36:46
  Go do it. To pause, again, kind of going back
• 36:49
  to teaching kids and empowering them to have
• 36:53
  better work ethic and not be entitled, going
• 36:56
  to your employees and saying, well, what do you
• 37:00
  think? What do you think we should do? Like,
• 37:02
  I know the answer, but I'm not going to tell
• 37:04
  you. Like, tell me what you think. And they might
• 37:07
  even come up with something better. What a lot
• 37:10
  of times they'll come up with is the same thing
• 37:12
  that you would have told them, but it's starting
• 37:14
  to teach them like, hey, I can figure this out.
• 37:16
  My ideas and my solutions are valid. So I can
• 37:21
  validate that for them instead of training them
• 37:23
  and teaching them, just come ask me. Then it
• 37:25
  takes me more time to get something done because
• 37:27
  I have to stop what I'm doing, give them the
• 37:29
  answers, and it takes that away and empowers
• 37:33
  them to get things figured out. trusting themselves
• 37:37
  and their solutions and they get stuff done and
• 37:39
  they come to me later like hey just so you know
• 37:40
  kit this was an issue but i got taken care of
• 37:42
  here's what i did i'm like sweet yeah and that's
• 37:45
  where that's where an employee becomes more valuable
• 37:48
  that you want to keep on and not have to replace
• 37:52
  that you want to give raises to and promotions
• 37:54
  and you can as as a business owner can focus
• 37:59
  on the things that you do best and allow everyone
• 38:02
  else to increase their capabilities, increase
• 38:06
  their own opportunities to earn more, give more,
• 38:09
  do more, have a deeper impact and significance.
• 38:13
  How do you navigate it when you're trying to
• 38:17
  empower an employee to come up with ideas, to
• 38:23
  come up with solutions, and they come up with
• 38:26
  a terrible one? Clearly not going to work, right?
• 38:29
  Like, it's just, it's not a good idea. It's not
• 38:31
  a good path to take. It's going to be detrimental.
• 38:34
  How do you still validate them going through
• 38:37
  the process of coming up with an idea while still
• 38:40
  guiding them to different solutions that will
• 38:44
  actually work? So I think that helping them think
• 38:48
  one more step ahead. So like you said, validate
• 38:52
  them. Say, I love that you thought that through.
• 38:55
  Thank you for coming to me. And I... teach my
• 38:58
  employees like hey like if there is a is a situation
• 39:01
  don't just come to me with the problem come to
• 39:04
  me with a potential solution even if it's not
• 39:05
  the right one i just want you to be thinking
• 39:07
  about it so they know like hey like i've got
• 39:09
  to go to kit with a potential solution not just
• 39:12
  a legit problem and so if it's not the right
• 39:15
  one then instead of just being like that's a
• 39:18
  terrible why would you think of that why would
• 39:20
  you do that um helping them think through that
• 39:23
  a little bit more and just say yeah that's a
• 39:24
  that's i love that you thought that through if
• 39:28
  we did that what are the what are the potential
• 39:30
  things that might come up as a result like what
• 39:33
  do you think the consequences could be and if
• 39:35
  they don't come up with something then and they're
• 39:38
  just like oh i don't know this is just all i
• 39:40
  could think of it's like okay well i i again
• 39:43
  love that you thought that through but the problem
• 39:46
  could be this this could be the result which
• 39:49
  may not get us to the finish line like we wanted
• 39:52
  it to and then helping them helping walking them
• 39:55
  through like that thought process in their mind
• 39:57
  instead of just like no that's a bad idea here's
• 40:00
  the solution and they're like well i don't know
• 40:02
  why my idea was bad but like explaining to them
• 40:04
  and and drawing that that path through their
• 40:08
  head to think ahead think one step ahead two
• 40:11
  steps ahead um so that you're just training them
• 40:14
  because a lot of these people um you know, there
• 40:17
  that are that are used to just being an employee
• 40:20
  and just showing up and just like clock in clock
• 40:23
  out, we get paid, like, they're not in a habit
• 40:25
  of thinking things through and having to create
• 40:29
  solutions. Because their income doesn't rely
• 40:31
  on that necessarily, like it does in the long
• 40:34
  run, but immediately not so much as a business
• 40:36
  owner, where a business owner is, is always like,
• 40:40
  thinking ahead, like, because we like are analyzing
• 40:42
  everything is like, if this if this doesn't close
• 40:45
  if the the family doesn't get taken care of this
• 40:47
  doesn't go well like we're not going to get paid
• 40:50
  the salaries are still getting paid because that's
• 40:53
  what we've promised and guaranteed and so so
• 40:56
  they're not always trained and thought that way
• 40:58
  kind of again going back to the parenting methods
• 41:00
  right of like how do we just like what do you
• 41:03
  think what can you do what what would that result
• 41:05
  in and helping train their brains and their thought
• 41:09
  process just to think a little bit more like
• 41:12
  the the person that's that's running the business
• 41:14
  yeah and what's interesting too is i think to
• 41:17
  some degree too if we're not used to we've got
• 41:18
  to train ourselves to do that yep and and what
• 41:22
  i would say is you don't have to have the perfect
• 41:25
  way to say those things initially just try no
• 41:27
  just try to ask you know whether that's your
• 41:30
  kid or your employee or somebody who reports
• 41:32
  to you try asking them try asking them for the
• 41:35
  input put yourself out there to try to go the
• 41:38
  extra mile for them so that they can learn it
• 41:41
  because that actually is it's hard and it's a
• 41:43
  skill you're going to learn that skill if you
• 41:46
  develop that skill of coaching and guiding them
• 41:50
  and realizing it's a it's a long -term investment
• 41:52
  totally like if you do that short term it takes
• 41:55
  you more time long term takes you way less time
• 41:59
  yeah because you teach somebody how to do that
• 42:01
  and they can go do it forever then the rest of
• 42:06
  the time you don't have to be the one doing it
• 42:08
  all the time But another quote that it reminds
• 42:11
  me about that I've got written down here, I think
• 42:14
  it's really good, it's by Simon Sinek. And he
• 42:16
  says, leadership has nothing to do with being
• 42:18
  in charge and everything to do with taking care
• 42:21
  of those in your charge. Love that. So for you,
• 42:25
  what does that look like for you of taking care
• 42:28
  of those in your charge? And how do you see,
• 42:31
  in this movie, Jack doing that? So taking charge
• 42:38
  is... is kind of the the ones that just like
• 42:41
  are demanding tell people what to do people will
• 42:44
  do it because they gotta have a paycheck or whatever
• 42:47
  but they don't love it and if they ever have
• 42:50
  another opportunity come up they're gonna they're
• 42:52
  gonna leave and go do something something different
• 42:54
  something else um and so the ones that that care
• 42:59
  for the ones that they're in charge of um are
• 43:04
  the ones where if if you can portray that sense
• 43:08
  of care for those people, then they'll do anything
• 43:11
  for you. They'll be with you forever and they'll
• 43:15
  do anything for you. So like in the example of
• 43:17
  Jack Kelly, where he's like, hey, we could get
• 43:20
  beat up. We could be losing tons of money because
• 43:25
  we're going to go on strike and we're not going
• 43:27
  to be able to eat and feed our families. And
• 43:29
  he's like trying to convince these people to
• 43:32
  do that. And they're like, yeah, we're in. And
• 43:38
  that's because he's looking at the big picture,
• 43:41
  the long -term benefits of doing that, and he
• 43:45
  explains to them why. He's like, are we just
• 43:47
  going to take this? If we take this now, what
• 43:50
  are they going to do to us in the future? But
• 43:53
  if we stand up to them, then that gives us a
• 43:56
  much better position. And so doing that and explaining
• 44:00
  that to them, why it's good for them, they respect
• 44:03
  him, they bond with him, and then they're like,
• 44:05
  yeah, we'll fight with you. We'll take the blows.
• 44:08
  We'll take the hit on the income and having to
• 44:12
  drink water at the cafe and not get the good
• 44:16
  stuff. And so things like that where if that's
• 44:22
  the sense that you're giving, then it's like,
• 44:24
  yeah, we'll do whatever you want. And so we see
• 44:28
  that in the business world too where you take
• 44:30
  care of people that are supporting and helping
• 44:32
  you and they'll do other things for you. It's
• 44:35
  like, hey, like – kit i know that you and your
• 44:38
  wife are going on a date like can do you want
• 44:40
  us to come over and take care of the kids for
• 44:42
  a little while or do you need us to you know
• 44:45
  i'm running out to an errand you want me to grab
• 44:47
  some food for you and the little things where
• 44:49
  they're less like actually they go the extra
• 44:51
  mile for you when they when they feel that sense
• 44:54
  of of belonging and family and care yeah and
• 44:58
  and again it's it's one of those things the skill
• 45:01
  You have to care about it enough to try to develop
• 45:05
  that skill. Some people are more inclined to
• 45:08
  be thoughtful in that way, and that comes really
• 45:09
  natural and easy, and other people are not. And
• 45:11
  ultimately, to be an effective leader to any
• 45:16
  degree, you have to care enough about your people
• 45:18
  to look for opportunities to serve them. which
• 45:22
  is not easy yeah it takes time to develop that
• 45:25
  that intuition and that that visibility onto
• 45:29
  what their real needs are because like my my
• 45:33
  personal personality type is very much like efficiency
• 45:37
  get things done and so i find myself i've learned
• 45:41
  over the years that that i have to slow down
• 45:44
  and evaluate before like once i decide on something
• 45:46
  and get things done or i type up an email or
• 45:48
  whatever like i've got to pause and look at like
• 45:50
  okay How is this coming across? In my mind, I'm
• 45:54
  not being ill -intended or anything. It's just
• 45:58
  like I'm just trying to get things done. I'm
• 45:59
  not trying to be rude, but I have to pause. I
• 46:04
  think about my emails all the time, and I'm like
• 46:06
  – I send an email response. It's like, oh, yeah,
• 46:09
  get that done. And it's just like I'm not mad
• 46:11
  or anything, but then I'm like, let me add a
• 46:13
  sentence. Thanks so much for thinking about that.
• 46:15
  Thanks so much for reaching out. Go ahead and
• 46:17
  get that done. Little things like that of just
• 46:20
  like how – how are you adapting your personality
• 46:23
  type? Because, you know, somebody that has my
• 46:26
  same personality type is not going to get offended
• 46:28
  with, with my short response that's efficient,
• 46:31
  but someone that is more of like the feeler,
• 46:36
  you know, bubbly personality, expressive type,
• 46:38
  like they want to feel good. And they're going
• 46:40
  to see that email and be like, Oh, let's get
• 46:42
  mad at me. And so, um, so I think it takes, it
• 46:46
  takes intent to create a habit. and so you you've
• 46:50
  got to put in your mind like what am i what do
• 46:54
  people complain ask for honest feedback from
• 46:56
  people and then when you when you have that be
• 46:58
  like okay i'm gonna slow down when i send my
• 47:00
  emails i'm gonna i'm gonna slow down when i interact
• 47:03
  with other people i'm gonna try and pay attention
• 47:05
  i'm gonna set a goal this week of like what are
• 47:07
  two things i can buy for somebody when they're
• 47:10
  like oh yeah like you know i probably need to
• 47:13
  get this i'm gonna have to find it somewhere
• 47:14
  and thinking like okay like Maybe I can do that
• 47:17
  for them. I can find something and give it to
• 47:18
  them unexpectedly. And so it takes a little more
• 47:21
  intentionality because that's not for me as efficient
• 47:24
  with my time to pause and do that, but gives
• 47:28
  me that sense of significance and makes it more
• 47:32
  fun to just associate and be with people. Yeah,
• 47:35
  for sure. You know, one of the things I heard
• 47:36
  you talk about was being willing to take the
• 47:39
  feedback that somebody's telling you. And, you
• 47:42
  know, one of the things that we try to do, we
• 47:44
  do weekly one -to -ones. and in those weekly
• 47:46
  one -to -ones one of the agenda items every single
• 47:49
  one -to -one is two -way feedback we give feedback
• 47:52
  to the employee and we ask for feedback from
• 47:56
  them yeah and they still have to trust you enough
• 47:57
  to give it so you still got to build a relationship
• 47:59
  there it's not like a uh you know a silver bullet
• 48:02
  to understanding what you could improve on but
• 48:04
  if you have a relationship of trust ask you know
• 48:08
  provide the environment in which people can actually
• 48:11
  give you feedback and then when you get it actually
• 48:15
  like take it well do something with it because
• 48:17
  if you just take the feedback and then you want
• 48:19
  to argue with them about it yeah like you you
• 48:20
  don't want your employee doing that when you
• 48:22
  give them feedback you give them feedback and
• 48:24
  they just want to argue about it that's not going
• 48:25
  to be effective you got to model the same behavior
• 48:27
  if you're going to ask them for feedback and
• 48:28
  they give you something even if you're like well
• 48:30
  i'm not really sure that that's overly helpful
• 48:32
  acknowledge that they were willing to to tell
• 48:34
  you Hey, you know what? I really appreciate you
• 48:36
  giving me that feedback. That really gives me
• 48:37
  something to think about. Hey, thank you for
• 48:39
  letting me know my email has come across a little
• 48:40
  curt. That's actually very helpful for me to
• 48:42
  know because it's not my intention. But if I
• 48:45
  didn't know you felt that way, I couldn't change
• 48:46
  or adjust for you. And so modeling the receiving
• 48:51
  of the feedback while providing that opportunity
• 48:53
  can be really, really helpful as you're building
• 48:56
  relationships with your people, with your employees.
• 48:58
  For sure. So, okay, let me ask you this question
• 49:02
  because this kind of made me think about this
• 49:03
  a little bit too. um you know in our um in our
• 49:06
  prep we talked a little about the difference
• 49:08
  between like a players and c players when you
• 49:12
  have when you try to have a culture where you
• 49:15
  really care about your employees where you're
• 49:16
  trying to go the extra mile for them when you're
• 49:18
  trying to provide opportunities for coaching
• 49:21
  them and helping them improve how do you how
• 49:24
  do you differentiate between those that are a
• 49:26
  and c players because you know part of me Part
• 49:30
  of me always has this thought too, like, okay,
• 49:32
  somebody's a C player. Are they always a C player?
• 49:36
  Are they a C player in that job? Are they C player
• 49:39
  because they don't have the right training? Could
• 49:42
  they actually be a B or an A player with the
• 49:45
  right coaching? How do you differentiate between
• 49:48
  that? Somebody who has the potential to be an
• 49:51
  A player and somebody who truly is a C player.
• 49:53
  This is not the right place for them. It's not
• 49:55
  the right culture for them. And you got to move
• 49:57
  on. I think a lot of it has to do. With giving
• 50:00
  them the opportunity and then observing how they
• 50:04
  treat that feedback that you're giving to them.
• 50:08
  And so for me, a lot of times it's just like
• 50:10
  how many times do I have to ask this person to
• 50:12
  do it before it becomes instinctive and a habit
• 50:15
  for them? Because a lot of times it's just not
• 50:19
  in someone's nature where it's just like, yeah,
• 50:22
  this is the job and I can get it done, but only
• 50:25
  if you tell me to. Okay, I got it done. And then
• 50:28
  I was like, hey, did you get it done? And it's
• 50:30
  like, oh, do you want me to do that again? It's
• 50:31
  like, well, okay. I need to do a better job,
• 50:35
  of course, mentoring and coaching and saying,
• 50:37
  hey, this is something I want you to do all the
• 50:38
  time. And being able to have a direct conversation
• 50:42
  with somebody and saying, hey, this is part of
• 50:45
  what I want you to do. You've got to get good
• 50:48
  at the interview process of being able to clearly
• 50:52
  explain, here's the job description that you
• 50:54
  need to do. So that's one. part of it but if
• 50:56
  you if you skipped something you didn't explain
• 50:58
  things clearly then you've got to make sure that
• 51:00
  it's real clear like hey this is what you need
• 51:02
  to do like i know that we didn't cover that in
• 51:04
  the interview process or when we first hired
• 51:07
  you but with everything changing like this is
• 51:09
  part of the job now are you okay doing that and
• 51:12
  then getting them to verbally commit to doing
• 51:15
  that and then if they don't do it saying hey
• 51:17
  i know that you didn't get this done do you have
• 51:20
  any questions or issues with doing that and then
• 51:22
  they can say uh yeah makes me uncomfortable or
• 51:25
  no it doesn't make me uncomfortable or anything
• 51:27
  i just forgot and i didn't do it okay cool like
• 51:30
  moving forward this has to be something that
• 51:32
  done is done on a regular basis and if it's not
• 51:36
  then we might have to reevaluate things aka we
• 51:39
  might have to fire you and so so then there's
• 51:41
  some heads up and it's not just like well This
• 51:44
  person is not getting it done because if we let
• 51:46
  somebody go without giving them the opportunity
• 51:49
  to improve, we're going to do the same thing
• 51:52
  with the next hire. We're going to hire someone
• 51:53
  else. We're not going to explain things very
• 51:55
  good. They're not going to do what we thought
• 51:56
  we needed them to do, but they didn't know that
• 51:59
  we were thinking that. And so then we have to
• 52:01
  go through that whole game again until we get
• 52:04
  lucky and we find somebody that just happens
• 52:06
  to be like, oh, I'm going to take the initiative
• 52:07
  and get this done. Problem with those people.
• 52:10
  As employees, a lot of times those ones that
• 52:12
  take the initiative and figure things out a lot
• 52:14
  of times, those are people that are going to
• 52:16
  grow to a point where they're going to be like,
• 52:18
  hey, you know what? I don't need to support you
• 52:21
  anymore because I can do this on my own. And
• 52:24
  so I think it's that. It's just going through
• 52:27
  a process of clearly defining the rules and the
• 52:30
  needs, giving them the opportunity, explaining
• 52:33
  to them that this is like a must or things are
• 52:36
  going to change. And then if things don't change.
• 52:39
  then it's an easy decision and it's not a surprise
• 52:41
  to them yeah yeah i think one of the things in
• 52:45
  that process of the accountability stuff that
• 52:47
  i see leaders sometimes not doing fully is is
• 52:51
  kind of like you've indicated like actually getting
• 52:53
  the commitment from them they're going to do
• 52:55
  it different because we can be clear about what
• 52:58
  the expectation is but like i think you actually
• 53:00
  need them to commit to doing it different like
• 53:03
  will you do this and that sounds like it's easy
• 53:06
  to to do but i've just seen leader after leader
• 53:09
  not actually asking for that level of commitment
• 53:11
  so then when you go and have the next accountable
• 53:13
  discussion if they committed to doing it it's
• 53:16
  so much easier for conversation like this is
• 53:18
  something you committed doing you didn't do it
• 53:21
  help me understand why as opposed to like well
• 53:23
  we talked about this before and you should do
• 53:24
  it so talk about it again and still not getting
• 53:27
  their commitment like have somebody commit If
• 53:30
  they're making a commitment, they're making a
• 53:31
  promise, and then it's an easier accountability
• 53:33
  discussion if they break that commitment to you.
• 53:36
  And tracking that stuff, right? Like take notes
• 53:38
  of the conversation, when it happened, and then
• 53:40
  the next time you meet, it's like, hey, let's
• 53:42
  go over last time. Can I do a quick recap? Hey,
• 53:44
  this is the things we talked about. How do you
• 53:45
  feel it's going? It's going great. I did those
• 53:47
  things you talked to me about. Cool. Like I noticed
• 53:49
  that. That was great when you did that. Or no,
• 53:51
  you didn't. And so like do we need to change
• 53:54
  course here or can we get this back on track?
• 53:58
  It's a great point. I mean, you have to take
• 54:00
  notes on it. You have to write those things down.
• 54:02
  You can't just leave it at chance. You know,
• 54:04
  if you do meetings and they're virtual or something
• 54:08
  like that and you use a recording thing and you
• 54:10
  use AI to do it up, great, fantastic, right?
• 54:13
  Absolutely. But it's got to be written down so
• 54:15
  that there can be the appropriate level of follow
• 54:17
  -up and you're on the same page about what that
• 54:19
  follow -up is so you don't have misunderstandings
• 54:21
  about it either. Because if you both turn and
• 54:22
  go off on memory, it's not going to lead to good.
• 54:25
  good results people will always remember things
• 54:27
  differently so when we when we're kind of wrapping
• 54:31
  up the story here right and we're looking at
• 54:33
  you know what ends up happening and jack's gonna
• 54:38
  make some mistakes he's gonna maybe leave and
• 54:41
  then ultimately he decides not to right and um
• 54:47
  After the strike is won, kind of this is what
• 54:49
  I wrote down. He's in a carriage, I think, and
• 54:51
  he climbs down. He's talking to Governor Roosevelt,
• 54:55
  and he says, thanks for the advice, Governor.
• 54:58
  Like you said, I still got things to do besides
• 55:00
  I got family here. And so, you know, what is
• 55:04
  the resolution that he ends up coming to that
• 55:07
  keeps him there with that feeling? How does he
• 55:10
  grow from being that lone wolf to being a leader
• 55:13
  with purpose and a sense of belonging? As the
• 55:17
  movie evolved, he sees the impact he can have
• 55:23
  on other people, what he did for other people,
• 55:26
  and that void that he thought was going to Santa
• 55:32
  Fe, being somewhere else, was filled. So now
• 55:38
  the Newsies... Lesson David's family, like he's
• 55:42
  got obviously Sarah like that's there. And so
• 55:45
  he's got that emotional fulfillment of like,
• 55:49
  hey, we did this together. I helped lead this.
• 55:53
  I need to keep taking care of you. And, you know,
• 55:57
  these people love me. They love me being here.
• 56:00
  And so that's where he makes the comment of like,
• 56:02
  I've got family here, like where the beginning
• 56:04
  is like. Well, it doesn't matter. I've never
• 56:07
  had anyone care whether I go or stay. And it's
• 56:10
  like, oh, well, I got hundreds of people that
• 56:14
  care if I go or stay now. So I'm staying. And
• 56:18
  so I think that as that evolves from him just
• 56:25
  finding the opportunities and recognizing his
• 56:29
  leadership ability where the kind of the go -getter
• 56:32
  mentality of like, I'm going to have success.
• 56:35
  He starts to see others following him. And because
• 56:40
  he takes that initiative for his own personal
• 56:43
  success, gets to another level of being able
• 56:47
  to recognize his other opportunities to have
• 56:50
  an impact and make a difference. And so fortunately
• 56:55
  for him, compared to other people in life that
• 56:59
  like are so like. just narrow sided on like me,
• 57:03
  me, me, me, me. And don't like take the time
• 57:05
  to look and see the impact that they can have.
• 57:09
  Jack recognizes that and has that opportunity.
• 57:12
  And then, you know, takes initiative for that
• 57:15
  and says, you know what, this is, this is where
• 57:17
  I'm going to stay. This is where I know that
• 57:19
  I can feel that sense of, of success instead
• 57:23
  of just making it all about, you know, what I
• 57:27
  thought used to be success. Yeah. I think it's
• 57:30
  one of those things that sometimes gets lost
• 57:33
  in our culture of self -improvement and taking
• 57:38
  care of yourself. Because those things are good.
• 57:41
  It is good to want to take care of yourself physically
• 57:44
  and mentally. It's good to make sure that you've
• 57:48
  got yourself in a good spot. Those things are
• 57:50
  all good. And we also find greater success and
• 57:55
  happiness and fulfillment when we're serving
• 57:56
  others. It's just true. uh it can't just be all
• 58:01
  about ourselves all the time it's not we we are
• 58:04
  social creatures we are designed to be around
• 58:06
  other people we are designed to belong to tribes
• 58:10
  and groups and families and that is what can
• 58:15
  bring so much more fulfillment for us especially
• 58:19
  uh when we need to recognize it and and and maybe
• 58:23
  fight against some some wounds that we have because
• 58:27
  we all have them we all have wounds from when
• 58:30
  we're younger we all have wounds from the tough
• 58:31
  things we've experienced but we can't shut people
• 58:34
  out because that just leads to more suffering
• 58:37
  and more heartache but opening ourselves up and
• 58:41
  acknowledging the wounds and trying to find that
• 58:44
  sense of belonging can can bring so much greater
• 58:46
  peace and happiness yeah it's got to be like
• 58:49
  you said it's got to be about you for some period
• 58:52
  of time but going into that period of time knowing
• 58:56
  that it is only a period of time it is not forever
• 58:59
  like you've got to get yourself on solid ground
• 59:01
  the the analogy of you know rescuing somebody
• 59:04
  from the dock versus in the water that's drowning
• 59:06
  yeah you know it is much harder to save someone
• 59:08
  that is drowning when you're in the water because
• 59:10
  you've got nothing to press against and they
• 59:12
  can push you down as they're trying to breathe
• 59:14
  and save themselves and drown you but if you're
• 59:17
  throwing them the life preserver from from the
• 59:20
  dock And they grab it and you just pull them
• 59:22
  in. That is a much easier way to help somebody.
• 59:25
  But you've got to get out of the water to do
• 59:28
  that. So you've got to focus on yourself and
• 59:29
  getting yourself to that spot to securely help
• 59:32
  someone else. And so between just realizing.
• 59:38
  that it is a period of time for you to just focus
• 59:41
  on yourself so that you can focus on the greater
• 59:44
  opportunity. Um, and just recognizing, like,
• 59:47
  I see so many people try to help people when
• 59:49
  it's like, Oh, this is, this is working for me.
• 59:51
  I'm starting to swim towards shore. So I'm going
• 59:54
  to try and help this person drowning, swim towards
• 59:56
  shore. And it's like, wait, you haven't like
• 59:58
  put yourself in a good spot to like, to do that
• 1:00:00
  yet. You've got to make sure that you're not
• 1:00:02
  doing it prematurely. Um, But that you've also
• 1:00:06
  got that end goal in sight of like, okay, like
• 1:00:08
  it can be about me for a little while so that
• 1:00:11
  I'm standing on the dock. Yeah. Yeah. Great point
• 1:00:16
  for sure. I love that analogy. Okay. You ready
• 1:00:18
  for this or that? Yeah. Okay. Let's have some
• 1:00:20
  fun here. Okay. Manhattan or Brooklyn? Brooklyn.
• 1:00:26
  Really? Yeah. Tell me more. Spot Conlon. It's
• 1:00:31
  just like, never fear, Brooklyn's here. That's
• 1:00:34
  for sure stuck in my mind. Okay, I love it. So
• 1:00:38
  on that note, Jack Kelly or Spot Conlon? Jack
• 1:00:42
  Kelly. Yeah. He initiated it. He started it.
• 1:00:46
  Spot helped out and he came in and was like,
• 1:00:48
  okay, I can come and help. But Jack got it started.
• 1:00:51
  Yeah, he's compelling for sure. A newsboy cap
• 1:00:55
  or a cowboy hat? Newsboy Cap. Yeah. You have
• 1:00:59
  one? I'm a city slicker. I don't have one, but
• 1:01:02
  born and raised in Atlanta, and I'm not as much
• 1:01:06
  of the country kid. Not a country kid on a cowboy.
• 1:01:09
  No. So in that vein, Santa Fe or New York City?
• 1:01:13
  Ooh. To that, I will say Santa Fe. Really? Yeah.
• 1:01:18
  I think just the calm vibes of Santa Fe versus
• 1:01:22
  the hustle and bustle of a big city. Okay. I
• 1:01:26
  think that that's my preference is just like
• 1:01:28
  I'm much more of just like let's just chill and
• 1:01:30
  relax and the big city is nice to visit but not
• 1:01:35
  to live in. Yeah, I think that would be interesting
• 1:01:38
  because I love New York City. That's my favorite
• 1:01:41
  city to visit. Part of me would love to try living
• 1:01:45
  in New York City just to see what it was like.
• 1:01:47
  I don't know if I would like it as much as I
• 1:01:49
  do when I visit it because visiting, it's new.
• 1:01:52
  It's novel. It's different. I don't mind the
• 1:01:54
  hustle and bustle. it was that way all the time
• 1:01:56
  uh yeah i might not like it as much i might not
• 1:01:59
  as much um okay singing or dancing dancing you're
• 1:02:04
  a dancer i am i'm more of a dancer than i am
• 1:02:08
  a singer i'm not a great singer i i'm related
• 1:02:10
  to a lot of good singers and uh but uh But, yeah,
• 1:02:15
  drop a good beat and bass line. Okay. It gets
• 1:02:18
  you bobbing, gets the body moving. Okay, so Kit
• 1:02:21
  Bait for Dancing with the Stars is what you're
• 1:02:23
  telling me. Exactly. We'll get you on there.
• 1:02:25
  Hey, look, if Connor Leavitt can be on there,
• 1:02:26
  Kit Bait can be on there, all right? I'm in it.
• 1:02:30
  Newsies the movie or Newsies on Broadway? Ooh,
• 1:02:34
  Newsies on Broadway. Something to live acting.
• 1:02:39
  Oh, yeah. It's just that much more impressive
• 1:02:42
  and you can feel. You know, you can feel the
• 1:02:45
  emotion that much more than you can, I think,
• 1:02:47
  through a TV screen. Yeah, totally fair. RV or
• 1:02:51
  hotel? Ooh, hotel. Yeah, for me that's an easy
• 1:02:56
  one. Yeah, I own a camp trailer and I know the
• 1:03:01
  maintenance and the... when you're done with
• 1:03:04
  the trip, all the cleanup and everything. As
• 1:03:07
  a kid, as a kid, maybe RV, because it's just
• 1:03:10
  like, oh, sweet, we're back home and we're done.
• 1:03:12
  That was fun. I don't have to do anything. But
• 1:03:13
  as an adult now, yeah, hotel. Okay. Snowboard
• 1:03:18
  or wakeboard? Ooh, I love both. Never been asked
• 1:03:25
  that. I would say, I would say snowboard. Okay.
• 1:03:31
  Snowboard. I don't know. There's something to
• 1:03:37
  just being in the mountains and having the snow
• 1:03:41
  and sitting on the lift going up. And it's just
• 1:03:44
  calm and quiet more. Wakeboard, it's not as calm
• 1:03:48
  and quiet, right? It's just like there's snacks
• 1:03:50
  and there's music and the lake's a little more
• 1:03:52
  loud and fun and more party style than I think
• 1:03:55
  just being in the mountains. Yeah, I like it.
• 1:03:57
  Well, so in relation to that one, our final list
• 1:03:59
  of that, mountains or beach? I would say beach.
• 1:04:06
  The beach guy? I would take the beach for sure.
• 1:04:08
  So different from the lake in the sense of waves
• 1:04:11
  crashing, the stars out at night. It's warm.
• 1:04:16
  I do love warm weather over cold weather. And
• 1:04:21
  so, and I've been to some, some great beaches
• 1:04:24
  that, you know, I don't love the, I don't love
• 1:04:27
  the, the busy Waikiki beaches that, you know,
• 1:04:30
  are like. Okay. You want the calm one. But I
• 1:04:32
  can find a place that's a little more remote
• 1:04:34
  and sit on the beach and that's. Okay. Favorite
• 1:04:38
  beach. Favorite beach. Man. I would have to say
• 1:04:46
  I've been to the Philippines a few times, and
• 1:04:50
  there's some immaculate beaches there. tiny little
• 1:04:55
  island that nobody knows about it has like one
• 1:04:58
  hotel that has like six rooms in it and It's
• 1:05:02
  on it's called Oppo Island and they run the hotel
• 1:05:04
  on a generator for six hours a day and then there's
• 1:05:07
  no power And so it's very very remote Yeah and
• 1:05:11
  and when the tide is in if you come to if you're
• 1:05:14
  trying to get to the hotel when the tide is in
• 1:05:15
  To get to the hotel you got to hike up your pants
• 1:05:18
  and walk through the water to get to this and
• 1:05:22
  so I would say I'd say Apo Beach in the very
• 1:05:27
  bottom of the Philippines. That's a good answer.
• 1:05:30
  Okay, I like it. Okay, now let's go to our rapid
• 1:05:33
  fire, even though that one kind of was. I had
• 1:05:35
  to slide that one in. We had to hear. Okay, favorite
• 1:05:38
  Disney movie? Favorite Disney movie outside of
• 1:05:43
  Newsies, I would have to say Aladdin. robin williams
• 1:05:49
  he's hilarious so funny got uh got some more
• 1:05:53
  of the of the uh you know kid from the streets
• 1:05:57
  kind of thing totally very relatable favorite
• 1:06:00
  disney song favorite disney song going back to
• 1:06:06
  uh newsies um i would have to say like king of
• 1:06:10
  new york like the beat for that like that just
• 1:06:12
  fires you up and it does get you inspired and
• 1:06:15
  totally the motivation i was just listening to
• 1:06:17
  it this morning when i was getting ready like
• 1:06:19
  oh good i was like man this is a good this is
• 1:06:21
  a good jam i can geek out to this one for sure
• 1:06:24
  favorite disney princess i'm gonna go back to
• 1:06:28
  aladdin on this hit jasmine for uh for seeing
• 1:06:31
  the seeing the good in in somebody that was not
• 1:06:35
  on her level once she figured out that He wasn't
• 1:06:38
  on the same level as opposed to some of the other
• 1:06:41
  Disney princesses where it's like they're just
• 1:06:43
  going for the royalty and the royalty gets together
• 1:06:47
  and stuff. She likes the common man. Yeah. Props
• 1:06:51
  to Jasmine for that. Favorite Disney hero? Disney
• 1:06:56
  hero? I would have to say maybe Hercules. He's
• 1:07:00
  a good one. Love Hercules. Yeah, he's a good
• 1:07:02
  one. It's such a good classic storyline. yeah
• 1:07:08
  just it's it's fun and entertaining and i mean
• 1:07:11
  another song where it gets me all energized like
• 1:07:13
  i can go the distance yep like yes i know every
• 1:07:16
  mile is worth the while like yes i'm there hercules
• 1:07:20
  i want to go the distance man i'm with you love
• 1:07:23
  hercules um how about favorite ride at any disney
• 1:07:28
  park oh favorite ride any of the parks um dude
• 1:07:35
  i i love the um the avatar uh i don't even know
• 1:07:42
  what it's called exactly the flight of imax yeah
• 1:07:45
  there's the imax screen one not there's like
• 1:07:47
  the river one and then there's the imax one yeah
• 1:07:49
  um like that's something else to feel like you're
• 1:07:53
  riding on the back of a dragon and not just sitting
• 1:07:56
  in a night like you know you've got you've got
• 1:07:58
  soaring that's cool yeah it's like oh you're
• 1:08:00
  flying around but to like sit on this and and
• 1:08:03
  you're like and it's breathing oh yeah it's like
• 1:08:06
  moving your thighs like a dragon's breathing
• 1:08:08
  and like it's that's legit plus you've got the
• 1:08:10
  3d glasses and everything like that experience
• 1:08:13
  probably amazing top experience yeah i absolutely
• 1:08:16
  love that ride it's so good they're they're doing
• 1:08:20
  some kind of avatar land theoretically a california
• 1:08:23
  adventure though they keep pushing it back because
• 1:08:25
  it's gonna uh take over where they've got monsters
• 1:08:28
  now and i didn't hear what rides they're bringing
• 1:08:31
  i hope they bring that one because that ride
• 1:08:34
  is so good i absolutely love it um favorite golf
• 1:08:39
  course oh favorite golf course i it's it's only
• 1:08:45
  a city course i love mountaindale golf course
• 1:08:47
  yeah up the canyon yeah up the canyon a little
• 1:08:51
  bit so when you when you hit your ball And you've
• 1:08:55
  got 360 degrees of backdrop, so you can just
• 1:08:58
  watch it the whole way. It's harder to lose it
• 1:09:00
  in the sky. Plus, there's so much wildlife up
• 1:09:04
  there. I've seen foxes. I've seen beavers. I've
• 1:09:08
  seen moose hanging out on the fairway with a
• 1:09:11
  mom and a baby one time and just being up in
• 1:09:15
  nature. I love that. That's fantastic. Favorite
• 1:09:18
  ski resort? Brighton. Brightens your jam. Yeah.
• 1:09:21
  I like it. Favorite Atlanta sports team. Braves.
• 1:09:25
  Braves. Go Braves. During the filming of this
• 1:09:28
  episode, we just lost last night. We are now
• 1:09:31
  down one to two. One to two against the Dodgers.
• 1:09:34
  Oh, please come through, Braves. Our ace, unfortunately,
• 1:09:37
  didn't get the win last night. It looked like
• 1:09:38
  it was going to be so brilliant to have pitched
• 1:09:40
  the other pitchers in game two and save. Yeah,
• 1:09:43
  save. Sale. But they got to him. Got a couple
• 1:09:47
  of dingers. So we're down. We can still come
• 1:09:49
  back. We can still make it happen. Okay. What
• 1:09:52
  is a question or questions that I should have
• 1:09:55
  asked you that I did not? I think maybe just
• 1:10:08
  my why. Okay. Let's get it. What is your why?
• 1:10:12
  What's the purpose behind it all? For me, why
• 1:10:16
  do we do all this? Why do we want success? Why
• 1:10:18
  do we want to help other people? I think for
• 1:10:21
  me is putting myself in a spot. to to really
• 1:10:27
  like to allow god to work through me to just
• 1:10:31
  like being in his way is like is such a gift
• 1:10:35
  to just to feel his love for someone that i've
• 1:10:40
  just come across or you know maybe i've been
• 1:10:42
  involved with but just like to have that moment
• 1:10:44
  where you see something change and happen in
• 1:10:48
  someone else's life not because of you but because
• 1:10:51
  of him and you just happen to get front row tickets
• 1:10:55
  to it. And, and so, you know, the, the, the better
• 1:10:59
  I can do at everything, the more of those opportunities
• 1:11:03
  I get and that the more sense of fulfillment
• 1:11:05
  that comes in my life. Yeah. Yeah. And it comes
• 1:11:08
  back to that idea of, of serving others, right?
• 1:11:11
  Serving others and how much richer that makes
• 1:11:13
  our lives when we take those opportunities to
• 1:11:16
  serve others. Um, yeah, I love it. It's a great
• 1:11:19
  answer. Okay, Kit, give us. We always like to
• 1:11:23
  end with three actionable takeaways. It's been
• 1:11:28
  a minute thinking of this. This is great. Yeah,
• 1:11:30
  we want some solid takeaways. We want people
• 1:11:33
  to listen to this and be like, okay, I'm going
• 1:11:34
  to do that this week or today. So let's hear
• 1:11:37
  it. For my people that came from nothing out
• 1:11:39
  there, first takeaway is you don't have to be
• 1:11:42
  given anything to become great. And a lot of
• 1:11:46
  times you become great because you had nothing.
• 1:11:48
  The ones that are given things. take things for
• 1:11:50
  granted self you know entitlement sense um and
• 1:11:54
  so i think it's that like like i'm i'm living
• 1:11:57
  proof of that that i was i did not have to be
• 1:12:00
  handed i had a great family so i had a good foundation
• 1:12:02
  but i wasn't like monetarily given anything um
• 1:12:07
  so that's that's one um two not being afraid
• 1:12:12
  to connect with people that can help so in in
• 1:12:15
  the situation of like you know jack kelly he's
• 1:12:18
  he's connecting with people and he goes into
• 1:12:21
  pulitzer right and he goes and he's approaching
• 1:12:23
  the big dog yeah he's not afraid and so i think
• 1:12:26
  it's taking those shots and trying to connect
• 1:12:28
  with people that are at a different level than
• 1:12:31
  you that are going to allow you to to see things
• 1:12:35
  from a different perspective to accomplish even
• 1:12:37
  more so connect with those people that are a
• 1:12:40
  step ahead of you yeah love it um And then we
• 1:12:44
  talked about it already, choosing the right people
• 1:12:46
  to support you, whether that's at home or in
• 1:12:50
  life. And choosing the right spouse, choosing
• 1:12:55
  the right assistant, choosing the right business
• 1:12:59
  partner, choosing not just based off of one variable
• 1:13:04
  but several because someone might be great at
• 1:13:07
  one thing. And you're like, oh man, we could
• 1:13:09
  be super rich and go that way. But if they're
• 1:13:12
  not doing it for the right reasons, then that
• 1:13:15
  could put you at jeopardy of being taken advantage
• 1:13:17
  of. but also limits your ability to maybe work
• 1:13:21
  towards what your purpose is and so i think they
• 1:13:24
  don't have to be great at everything but they've
• 1:13:26
  got to have some sense of direction and everything
• 1:13:28
  and and so i think that you know choosing choosing
• 1:13:31
  those people that you're going to have closest
• 1:13:33
  to you super wisely i've seen too many people
• 1:13:36
  that have you know had a much harder life because
• 1:13:40
  they've chosen those close people not so well
• 1:13:43
  yeah yeah and and when you have And sometimes
• 1:13:47
  it necessitates a change. You know, I don't,
• 1:13:53
  I'm not in the business of telling people they
• 1:13:56
  need to get divorced. I'm in the business of
• 1:13:58
  helping them get divorced when they want to.
• 1:14:01
  But what I've seen in doing that is like, there's
• 1:14:04
  times where that's just the right answer that
• 1:14:05
  they haven't chosen well. And maybe it's just
• 1:14:08
  a bad match between the two of them that they're
• 1:14:10
  bringing out the very worst in each other. But
• 1:14:12
  there's definitely times where. a change is necessitated
• 1:14:15
  and if you've got friends that are that way and
• 1:14:17
  you've got to make a change then you make a change
• 1:14:19
  even if you've known them for a long time if
• 1:14:20
  they're dragging you down you gotta you gotta
• 1:14:24
  be strong enough to make a change and look for
• 1:14:25
  those people who are gonna help lift you up yeah
• 1:14:27
  it's great big term big long -term perspective
• 1:14:30
  yeah for sure well kit thank you so much for
• 1:14:33
  being with us today thank you for hearing your
• 1:14:34
  thoughts your stories about you're hanging out
• 1:14:36
  yeah we we uh we always have fun you know we
• 1:14:39
  have fun talking about disney stuff because There's
• 1:14:41
  so many life lessons that we can actually draw
• 1:14:43
  on, things that we can really learn on how to
• 1:14:45
  improve our lives, how to live better lives,
• 1:14:47
  how to inspire other people, care more about
• 1:14:49
  other people, as you've indicated, right? And
• 1:14:51
  what that can bring to us, the richness it can
• 1:14:52
  bring to us. So thank you so much for your time.
• 1:14:54
  Thank you. As you leave this conversation, remember
• 1:14:58
  that yes, the past can hurt and you can either
• 1:15:01
  run from it or you can learn from it. So here's
• 1:15:05
  to learning and finding joy in the journey. See
• 1:15:08
  you real soon.