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3 Keys To Successfully Combine Family, Faith, and Business with Justin Kershaw · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:00
  I think it gives us this really interesting dynamic in every family, which is that I think there's a natural order to every family and that we have to be aware of what that is. And I think almost every ancient culture understood this. This is something that, again, has been kind of lost, both because we have smaller families today and because we actually hate this idea, because it imposes something upon us, a role that maybe we didn't choose. So part of the reality is there's a natural nature, there's a naturalness to this birth order. But then there's also...
• 0:29
  the sovereignty of God and the fact that he's going to call out each of your children, give them different gifts, give them different callings, and that the family itself is going to need to be aware of those things and make sure that as we honor the natural birth order, we're not somehow violating something that God's trying to do with our kids.
• 0:49
  Hi, welcome to the Family Teams podcast. Our goal here is to help your family become a multi-generational team on mission by providing you with biblically rooted concepts, tools, and rhythms. Your hosts are Jeremy Pryor and Jefferson Bethke, and we can't wait to chat about all things family. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm excited to be joined today by my friend, Justin Kershaw. Justin, thanks for jumping on here today. Thanks for having me, man. I really appreciate it, Jeremy. You are a mentor of mine, so I'm honored to be here.
• 1:19
  Oh man, yeah. It's been super fun to get to know Justin. I wanted to introduce you guys to him. There's a lot of things about his family story and what they're doing that I wanted to introduce you guys to. But Justin, he's created, I want to maybe start by just, I know that we've interacted a lot around integrated, around how to integrate family and business. And you've been in lots of different kinds of business efforts. But one of the things you've been very...
• 1:45
  keen to try to understand is this kind of the power bar or like a healthy bar business. So yeah, tell everybody real quick about what you're doing there and kind of what sort of inspired that for you. Yeah. So my claim to fame is I have five beautiful daughters and an incredible wife.
• 2:06
  I feel very blessed to have him. And about, I used to play football. I played in college. Thought I was going to have a long career playing in the NFL. About four or five years ago, I really missed playing football. My wife is a way better athlete than me. And because I miss football so much, she suggested that I try CrossFit.
• 2:25
  And I don't know if you're familiar with CrossFit, but it's a cult in itself. And when I started doing it, I fell in love and I was drinking the Kool-Aid. And part of the culture of CrossFit is keto and paleo diets, which are low-carbohydrate diets. And so I felt terrible, attributed to just being out of shape or getting old. And then I saw a study that the number one macronutrient in blue zones, which are areas of the world where people live way past the typical life expectancy, the number one macronutrient was carbohydrates.
• 2:54
  Me and my wife started incorporating carbs back into our diet. Felt totally better. And then in my community, there's a lot of people that have diabetes and just really unhealthy bodies because of eating habits. And I saw in Blue Zones where people are living so long that one of the key characteristics was their diet. And you couple this with some of the neighborhoods in Columbus, Ohio, the life expectancy was 59 years old. I mean, it's a great-
• 3:23
  contrast yeah so in the hilltop in columbus ohio in 2018 the life expectancy was 59 years old and then blue zones it's like 103 yeah um yeah so then i saw uh there was a mcdonald's commercial they had travis scott which is a low substance rapper and it's like it's you know mcdonald's not whole foods or chipotle i want to do something about this and from there i realized that my wife is a hero and
• 3:50
  Like I said, we're both athletes. I realized that being a mom is the toughest sport in the world. Told my wife I was going to create a nutrition bar that had a mission that's bigger than the product. So that's why we started So Strong Food. Awesome, man. That's really cool. And you guys have been doing this for how long now?
• 4:07
  Four years we've been at it. Okay. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I will, I'm going to hit a little bit more about so strong foods and some of the things that like, I love the way that you've been just positioning and thinking through this, this, uh, this brand, but, um, yeah, I look for people that you mentioned you have five daughters and, uh, one of the things that's been fun, I know for us to talk about is, is just, as you guys have really been building up a family team, um, trying to understand for you, like coaching your, your daughters.
• 4:35
  Yeah. What has it been like for you as you've, what have been some of maybe any lessons or elements of what that's looked like that's been helpful to you guys as you guys have been, especially you as a father, have been fathering five daughters? And what are the age range of your daughters?
• 4:50
  Yeah, so we've got 1 to 15. So 1, 3, 6, 7, 15. I have five girls. I have five brothers. So I need a tiebreaker now. Yes. And it's, you know, just being totally transparent, it was hard knowing that I was going to have five girls coming from a household of boys, being an athlete. But I learned, and I learned this from you, that –
• 5:20
  When a man, when God blesses a man with a lot of daughters, he's trying to bring beauty into his life. And that man usually has a big vision because I think we are here to make our lives better, to improve it. And so it's just been, it's been a total blessing. It's been a lot of beauty in my life and it's really...
• 5:37
  I don't want to say soft in my heart because nothing about me is soft. It's been a joy to my life. And I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm still praying for a boy one of these days. But I would say that the things that have helped me as far as
• 5:54
  Um, family team being, becoming a family team is number one, a Sabbath is realized that God has given us a rhythm to the week. And it's amazing to me that in the 10 commandments, you know, we always say, honor your mother and father. What does it mean to remember the Sabbath and to keep it holy and that it's a gift from God and he gave it to us to give us rest. And so that's been a celebratory day in our household Friday night to celebrate.
• 6:22
  Saturday night. We try to implement as best we can. I'll say number two is not separating our family from the business where I see my kids. There could be so much sitting around and so much entertainment, but I think kids are most fulfilled when they're learning, when they're working. So let them know.
• 6:42
  Yeah, they were building something. And then I would say also realizing the birth order where the Lord intentionally put you in this family and put you in place of your birth for a reason. So the younger ones should respect your older sister and to the older ones. You have a big responsibility and the Lord put you there for a reason. So that's how we've implemented it.
• 7:04
  That's awesome, man. Yeah, I love to go like a layer deeper on each of those. So we've got Sabbath. We have integrating our kids into a business, which I think, you know, you guys have in a physical product business. That's a really cool opportunity. And then, yeah, birth order, which I know a lot of people...
• 7:19
  I think that when it comes to thinking about and embracing, you know, fathering a larger family, it just becomes more and more critical to actually understand how did God design family in that way? So, yeah, so we'll start with Sabbath. I'd love to hear like that journey for you guys. What, what, what has been like, how, what, how have you guys made that meaningful and anything about kind of
• 7:39
  As you've tried to implement that, a lot of people, I think, that are kind of in the family team's audience, this is something that is new to them, but they have been interested in, you know, okay, what does it look like for us to start a Sabbath rhythm? Yeah, so I'm curious how that works out for you guys. Yeah, so...
• 7:55
  We started out with, it's something that we want to look forward to and it's a day of rest and it's a day we pause to thank the Lord for the week, for protecting us, for getting us there, for providing. And then we typically always do pizza, like the kids really do it. And it's something that, you know, it's pizza Friday.
• 8:17
  This is what we're doing. We say what we're thankful for. Some days we light a candle and the kids really look forward to that. But to be totally transparent, Jeremy, it's hard because the culture is, okay, you work really hard during the week and then Saturdays are filled with sports. Right. And so we've had to cancel some sports for our daughter, you know.
• 8:41
  or we've had to make shifts in our work schedule at times, or just really be intentional about the day. It's been a struggle. But it's something we look forward to, and it's given us rest. And I think we naturally have fought against it because we were used to doing something one way or some resistance. But it's been a beautiful thing for us. Awesome.
• 9:03
  Yeah, that's great. So Friday night, you guys kick off with a dinner and you got your pizza tradition, which I think for a lot of families, like something that works every week so that it gets optimized with trips, people up initially as they make it just unsustainable or unreachable where it gets closer to the Sabbath and it just feels like too much work. So I think having something like that, that everyone's looking forward to, and it's like plug and play so important, you know, especially in the early stages. Um,
• 9:30
  Yeah, but what you're saying about like actually trying to keep a day of rest on a Saturday when you have kids in sports, that is like, yeah, that is so challenging because that is the day for most sports. And, you know, every time on Sabbath, I pull out of our house to, you know.
• 9:48
  go to a park and chill somewhere. We live right next to the high school, the middle school, and just absolutely jam-packed. I'm watching all these families just like running around with all their kids and just, you know, just so much activity. And I'm like, oh, man, that would be exhausting. So that's a real development.
• 10:05
  Yeah, I mean, I've been there and I'm still there in a lot of ways. So our daughter, she ran cross country for their first year. And a lot of our meets were on Saturday mornings. So we're recognizing the Sabbath and we tell our family, like, look, we're going to go to this meet. But then as soon as we're celebrating this, what the Lord allows our child to run and we're not being too legalistic about it. But when we get home, we are resting and we need some time to rest.
• 10:34
  And it's really been beautiful because Saturday bleeds into Sunday when we still go to church on Sunday. So it's been difficult, but I'm glad we're at least talking about it and having the conversation with our kids that this is a technology that the Lord has given us that we need, and there's a rhythm to it. You see it in nature.
• 10:53
  Yes. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's definitely worth for everyone who you do struggle. And I like what you're saying, kind of like when you have an obligation that you are going to, and it's really important for your family, really important for one of your kids to experience, to frame that as, as a celebration and try to like integrate that into the rest. And then also booking book ending that like,
• 11:17
  that time with like, we're gonna, we're gonna make sure that we protect the rest of the day to, to recharge. Um, and yeah, that's the, that's, I think that's a really good approach.
• 11:28
  Yeah. Another thing too, that I really learned from you, Jeremy, is realizing that the Lord wants us to experience beauty and the, the technology of the Sabbath is incredible. But then also having our kids rest or walk in nature or go to the park or shutting off the TV or sitting down. It's been a beautiful thing knowing that we don't have to run around everywhere. Yeah.
• 11:54
  It is weird. I mean, I think a lot of people, it does change your whole theology of God for a lot of people. Like, God wants you to just enjoy, enjoy the beauty, enjoy all of the things that he is providing for us, to say, the hardest work that...
• 12:12
  was ever needed to be accomplished, was accomplished through what Jesus did for us. And that gives us the freedom to without guilt and, you know, without sort of this nagging feeling that, oh, I've got to get back to work. We can just fully enter into that rest. And I think that is a struggle. Like it's a spiritual battle, you know, to get into a state where you really believe that enough to be able to feel that rest. And so, yeah, I think we need to help each other, especially with our families and, you
• 12:38
  The challenge of juggling things while you're trying to enter into that spiritual state is very important. Well, yeah. Did your kids never fight against it? Just curious. Our kids? Your kids or the way that you were living your life, did you ever find it difficult to rest on the Sabbath?
• 12:57
  Yeah, for sure. I think that, you know, with R5, I think that the thing I always found challenging was to balance the different ways that each of us rest or each of us recharge. It's really helped for me to think about the word recharge because that's how I really evaluate relationships.
• 13:16
  if we're resting is that I think about like, you know, your phone battery, it's just like, um, can I get to a hundred percent by the time this 24 hours is over? And so a lot of what I discovered about, you know, our kids is that people rest and recharge, um,
• 13:31
  with different kinds of activities. Some people really like to be around other people and they get a lot of energy. You know, extroverted people get more energy from actually being in relationship interacting. And so they're ready to rock. They're like, hey, let's all hang out. Let's like play games together. And then you got introverts who were like, that's the least restful thing.
• 13:51
  And so there's all those collisions that happen. And in a larger family, you know, it's challenging to make sure that you're not completely going one direction or the other. For me, there's a like, there's sort of an ebb and flow that I've learned to the Sabbath where I'm alone and then I'm with my family. I'm alone. I'm going on a one-on-one with one of my kids.
• 14:09
  you know, like breaking it up in like two, three hour segments to get to the end of the day where I feel like my battery got back to 100%. And I had to like experiment with lots and lots of attempts at that. Because, yeah, like I said, each of our kids, there was ways in which they recharged. And we had to kind of like study that for each of us and for us as a whole. And then it was a process of trying to figure that out.
• 14:39
  Have you ever considered starting a family business so you can spend more time working as a family team? We've started a year-long coaching program called Family Inc. where you get weekly coaching with Jeremy, access to our video training for launching family businesses, and lots of ideas for businesses to start that are working for other family teams. Head over to familyteams.com and click Family Inc. to learn more or to set up a strategy call with Jeremy to see if this might be a good fit for you.
• 15:10
  Yeah, wow. Incredible. Yeah, so I wanted to hear more about the integration of your kids and the business. So, you know, one of the things that really you guys are establishing, and we really want to champion the process of reestablishing the household, where you're bringing economic activity into the house. And for so many people, they want to create a family that's sort of like an economic free zone. There's just no...
• 15:38
  recreation only or, you know, like there's no, there's no integration of business. And there are, there are obviously, um, problems that can be created, right? There, there are certainly ways in which you can violate the nature of family, but family was always designed to be an economically productive unit. You see that all through the Bible and all through history. It's really recently that we kind of divorced these two things. So I'm curious, what, what's that journey been like for you guys? Um, and how has.
• 16:05
  How have you guys tried to integrate family and business together? Yeah. So I grew up in my family. We had a restaurant. It was called pizza. And I got to work with my uncles, my aunts. It was all my grandma's recipes. And then my dad put me to look at an early age. So it was kind of natural to me. And I think my dad unintentionally modeled this. Not even thinking that it was something that was built into the Bible. But I think we're...
• 16:35
  A lot of times our kids and our families are, I think the term is over-refriended. Like there's too many, they hang out with friends too much and you're supposed to spend the majority of time with your family. But what are you supposed to spend your time doing? Of course there's entertainment and leisure. But I think we have a call to work and to bring beauty to the world and to glorify God through our work. So to be able to do that together, to not be consumers and to be creators,
• 17:01
  It's something that we really enjoy. And even I tell my kids all the time, it's okay to consume a little bit of content.
• 17:09
  But if you really want to get into content, I want you to create a lot of content because the world called us to create, to be creators. And our kids feel extremely fulfilled when, if it's something simple like, hey, you're going to move this box from upstairs to downstairs, or you're going to go with me to UPS to ship this, or I need your idea for a piece of content or a commercial. And our kids get really, they get really fired up about it because I think kids, they want to be involved naturally.
• 17:37
  So that's been my experience. And then also, too, when it comes to when we sample our product at grocery stores, they're way cuter than me. So people are more likely to buy from them than they are me. And they get to see how something's built up and how you talk to people and how roadblocks can be the path to give you success.
• 17:59
  I can't imagine what that would be like to watch your dad build a business, you know, from the ground up, like build a brand. And all the kind of the working to get mindshare for the brand that you guys have to do, going to those stores and giving out samples and talking to people about it. And I love watching that process. But I wonder what it's like to be your daughters. And I'm curious, what do you think they're learning? Because I think that I think it can make you a fundamentally almost different person because most people are.
• 18:28
  I think, you know, you're going to school, you're experiencing complete separation between kind of the marketplace and education. And it makes the whole idea of making money or starting businesses or building assets really mystifying. Like, how does this really work? And so, yeah, they're getting kind of a blow-by-blow kind of window into business building and entrepreneurship from just...
• 18:57
  getting to partner with their dad, like, yeah, what has that, you think, been like for them? What do you think that's going to, how do you think that might impact their future? Yeah, that's a great question. I just remember me as a kid, my dad was a police officer. He owned businesses. And he was on the Oprah Winfrey show because he had a case that went national. Oh, wow. And he got called by Oprah. And I remember coming home and seeing my dad on the TV. And I just assumed I was going to be on Oprah one day. Like, that's what... That's amazing.
• 19:27
  And so I think it's, you know, like me and my wife are athletes. And it's a given where, you know, you're going to do gymnastics until you're 10 years old. And you're going to do something creative. And I don't think until they see...
• 19:46
  I don't think they'll really appreciate it maybe until they'll get older and they see that there's another way. I'm sure your kids probably look at the, the world as they've gotten older and say, wow, like not every other family has a business or, or thinks is recognized as Sabbaths or even goes to church. So I think time will tell Jeremy. Um, but I can tell my daughters like the, they like the creative aspect. They just wish I would start a skincare line opposed to a nutrition. Yeah.
• 20:13
  Yes. Oh my gosh. Yes. I have a daughter who would love if we started at Skincare Align. That's really interesting that, you know, seeing your dad on the Oprah Winfrey show, what like it changes what you think is possible. There's a, so I'm in the middle of writing a chapter of my book on Abraham. And I'm literally, the next section I have to write is on what I call patriarchal fame, which is that God is something really strange to Abraham. He promised to make him famous.
• 20:41
  And most Christians actually think that any desire for fame is always vanity. And, you know, there's even a popular worship song out now that says, you know, I want to die and be forgotten. And I think that there's a healthy...
• 21:04
  Yeah, this is a healthy principle behind what I think they're saying there. But I think the assumption is that it's always...
• 21:13
  selfish to want to be famous. And there was actually an ancient kind of view towards this, I think, is almost entirely forgotten, which really does have to do with the idea that when you are leading a family, the family, because it's a strong, large structure, the families, particularly the patriarch of the family,
• 21:36
  His ability to sort of become well-networked and to become well-known and to have a large and positive reputation, whether it's in the village. Like you can look at these in circles. You can say like in the family, of course, in the extended family, in the community.
• 21:58
  But it's really for the sake of his family that you would want to expand that potentially. There's a strong argument for that. And I think that that's why God blessed Abraham in this way. And I'm going to walk through what the story says about that. And the Proverbs also speak to this about the glory of a son is his father. And I think it's talking about this specific principle. And I've never heard anybody articulate the way you did. Like just seeing my dad on Oprah, like did something to my vision of the world. And I think that that's...
• 22:26
  That's a principle most people don't understand.
• 22:29
  Yeah, and I would go in and see my dad, be a police officer, play football, have restaurants. People would tell, then they tell me I'm creative. It's like, oh, I didn't, it's like me being tall. I always use this. People come up and they say, Justin, you're tall. Well, I forget I'm tall because I'm tall. And I can go back to what you're saying about fame. It's unbelievable. Well, it's incredible to me that a chapter before God comes up to Abraham and he says, I'm going to...
• 22:58
  I'm going to bless you and I'm going to make your name great. Where the power of Babel, and they said, we're going to make a tower and we're going to make our names great. But it was God that was giving Abraham a gift to be famous, glorify him. And I don't think in church and school we talk about, you know, saving yourself for marriage or not stealing or loving people.
• 23:21
  but we never talk about the dangers of fame and what, what fame really is where fame is a gift from God to glorify him. And the Lord will never say, well done, my good and famous servant. He'll say, well done, my faithful servant. And it's, it's something that a lot of people desire to,
• 23:38
  But I haven't heard people talk like, what is this desire to be famous for? And if the Lord blesses you to be famous or to have any circle of influence, what like, what is it for? What would we do with it? And I'm interested to hear that chapter that you want to write. Yeah. Yeah. I think you said it really well that, that there's, that there's a sense in which.
• 23:57
  The specific phrase there is, I'll make your name great. And I think that it really allows you to direct glory. And I think that there is a need to take that glory and direct it to the Lord. And it is a huge test because...
• 24:15
  If you become famous and your name becomes great, you could just absorb all that glory yourself and just enjoy it and bask in it and let it puff you up and corrupt your soul. And I think that there's a huge danger with fame. And, you know, today, the number one.
• 24:31
  The number one occupation that American kids would like to have is influencer, right? With influencer because because they like likes. I like like we like like John Mark Comer. And sorry if I interrupted you. He turned off the comments on his Instagram page. I saw that because he knows his heart and his soul. That's what I'm assuming. That's why I did that. And it's.
• 24:57
  It's, you know, when I played football, I would love it after a football game to see how many people would interview me or how many kids would come up to me and ask for my autograph. And I made my value on that because I know other people were watching. And I think it's...
• 25:14
  you could write a book called my good and famous servant, how the 21st century, how we're, we crave fame and what's it for. And I don't hear anybody talking about that. So you're welcome for your book, Jeremy. Yes. I'm excited to do a deep dive. I, I, I pretty much, I write so I can think like I, I need time to really tease this out. So yeah, for the next couple of weeks, I'm going to be,
• 25:36
  my head's going to be deep in trying to understand this topic. And it's already, you know, been top of mind. So I was glad you brought it up. Okay. Now the last one you brought up and I wanted to hit this because I think this is people, man, there, this is a tough one for all of us in our culture today. And that is that when you have a family, especially a little bit larger family with five, but I think this, this can, this happens as soon as you have a second child, like all of a sudden,
• 26:00
  You are experiencing birth order like you're you're every one of your kids is having a different experience of your family. And part of that experience is in a huge part of that experience really just is by the nature of when they were born in the family.
• 26:15
  And and this is really weird to culture today because we are so hyper individualistic that we hate that there's anything, whether it's our gender or whether, you know, it's it's anything that we would like that's imposed upon us. But here's here's something that that is imposed upon each of our children. You are the firstborn. You are the second. You are the third. You are the last. And so, yeah, how have you guys thought through this and experienced this? And I'd love to just kind of wrestle through with you. Like what what does this mean for a family?
• 26:46
  Yeah, I would say that I tell our oldest daughter that the Lord put her and all my kids, the Lord put you. He knows the number of hairs on your head. He knows everything about you. He was very intentional by gifting us to placing you in this family. And Naya has made you the oldest for a reason. And that is a gift.
• 27:08
  You'll get all the money first. I'm just joking. But you have a responsibility to be an example to your siblings and to take responsibility. And, you know, our kids go to public school, and I think she's felt some pressure with that to be perfect. But I think a lot of times pressure is a gift.
• 27:29
  And it's, you, you take that and it's like, okay, I want to be the best example for, for my family. And you see that in the, in the Bible. And also, you know, and I say this jokingly, but the Lord will skip over you and give the blessing to your little sister. But it's, you know, I think it's a, it's a subject matter that, um, well, I don't hear talked about enough, but then also.
• 27:53
  younger siblings, you give respect and reverence to your older sister because she's going to do the best she can to take care of you guys. And one day in the future, when, you know, when me and your mom are gone, she's going to be a leader in this family. And so I think it's the Lord has given us systems and technologies that we overlook to give us order in our families, just like the Sabbath, just like marriage, just like the week we have. And I think birth order is one of those too.
• 28:22
  to understanding your birth order and your role in the family. And you're all supporting one another. You're not, you know, hovering, trying to be a ruler. So it's been incredible. And then for all the other ones, it's you're looking after the little one and the one after that and the one after that. Are you following us on Facebook and Instagram yet? Look up at Family Teams to get even more free content and never miss out on event announcements. Thank you.
• 28:51
  Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's a really tricky, tricky topic. You know, you see the whole book of Genesis is like one giant story of wrestling with birth order, you know, and one of the things that you could easily take from Genesis in every single case, right? You've got the younger that basically is being chosen over the older. And so you could look at that and say, okay, it happened with Ishmael Isaac. It happened with
• 29:15
  you know, Jacob and Esau. It happened with Joseph and his brothers. But you could say, well, apparently God doesn't care about birth order. Apparently God just likes to violate birth order. Or maybe you could even derive the principle that the younger is somehow got a better position. But then in the Torah, when God actually, he actually unveils legislation,
• 29:35
  He defends in the legislation that there is a special position for the firstborn. And so I don't think that I think I think that he was demonstrating his sovereign sovereignty and his grace over this family through constantly violating what was the natural order. And so I think I think it gives us this really interesting dynamic in every family, which is that.
• 29:56
  I think there's a natural order to every family and that we have to be aware of what that is. And I think almost every ancient culture understood this. This is something that, again, has been kind of lost, both because we have smaller families today and because we actually hate this idea because it imposes something upon us, a role that maybe we didn't choose.
• 30:15
  Um, so part of the reality is there's a natural nature. There's a naturalness to this birth order, but then there's also the sovereignty of God and the fact that he's going to call out each of your children, give them different gifts, give them different callings, and that the family itself is going to need to be aware of those things and make sure that, um, as we honor the natural birth order, we're not somehow violating something that God's trying to do with our kids. Um, so there's a weird way in which I think we have to hold this topic, which is really challenging.
• 30:45
  Yeah. And I would, I could be wrong, but when I look at the Bible, when they're talking about the birth order, it's usually because the older sibling didn't step up to the plate and there was rebellion. And then there was a lack of respect from the younger sibling and we want black and white, but in the Bible, it's like, so I don't want to say gray, but it's like, there's this tension where, you know, everything is bundled together and there's a lot of wrong and there's only a little bit of right.
• 31:12
  And so I would say that happened because the older sibling didn't step up to the plate and the younger sibling didn't show the respect. But yeah, I think it's, you know, it's something that it was, it was, it's in the Bible for a reason. And I think it's a, it's a gift from God where you're placed in your order and it gives order to your family.
• 31:33
  Yeah. I think one of the most practical ways that this plays out in a family is that oftentimes, I just said this happened recently, somebody was like, my kids are bickering all the time and, you know, they're fighting and I walk in, I'm like, be quiet. I'm trying to train them and it's not working. And I turn my back and, and somebody was asking me like, what do you, what do you do in that situation? And I said, well, which one's older?
• 31:52
  And, and I remember, I just kind of walked through you, you don't have, you don't treat them like equals, like, um, like you just articulated, Justin, it's like, they have different roles. And part of the reason why there's endless sibling rivalry in so many families is that their roles are being disrespected. And so, so let's say in this family, you've got like an eight-year-old and a, and a five-year-old and a two-year-old, they're always fighting. Well, there, this is not, this is, this problem is not, um, um,
• 32:19
  three individuals that are always fighting. This problem is very different depending on which child is doing what. And so is the eight-year-old, like, is he or she learning to lead and create an environment of peace? Is that five-year-old properly respecting the leadership of the eight-year-old as they're trying to lead? Or are they trying to subvert them in some way? Or, you know, like there's so much going on there and you have to actually get into the dynamics and then...
• 32:45
  actually like respect the, the different, different roles and not just think of your kids as like three equally bickering, um, uh, people. Um, that's that, that framing really makes it almost impossible to deal with a problem like that. Yeah, I agree. And, um, I look at,
• 33:05
  I think Jethro said to Moses, talked about delegation. And that was over 2000 years ago before the iPhone email, my kids, it was delegation. And I,
• 33:19
  That comes from the Bible. And some of my younger kids come up to me and they're like, Daddy, Naya told me that I have to clean up. And I said, well, why aren't you cleaning up? That's what your sister said. You start cleaning up. She's in charge. You listen to her. And I think giving her that my daughter that responsibility, like, oh, I'm in charge, too. I'm becoming a young lady, an adult.
• 33:42
  She really enjoys that. But I think our culture is so watered down. Jeremy and our family can be so watered down because I talk to even my Korean friends. The way that they even structure their names, it's, so my name wouldn't be Justin. It would be Daryl's son. That's what you would know me as. It's like that's my dad's first name, his son. Yeah.
• 34:03
  And it's your family is your identity. And even in the Korean culture, it was horrific in Blacksburg, Virginia Tech. There was a shooting years ago, but it was a it was a Korean guy that did it. And the president of Korea personally apologized to all of America when that happened because he took ownership that this is that was us.
• 34:24
  And then in Korea, if somebody wins a gold medal, we all win a gold medal. And one of the things we told our kids, like, we're quick to cancel a practice for one kid so we can all celebrate a kid at another event. Because if she wins, we're all winning. Yes. We had our one daughter, she's having trouble reading. And I brought the family together and I said, Nina's having trouble reading. That means we all have a problem reading. So I need to see everybody with a book in Nina's hand and reading.
• 34:52
  helping her learn how to read. And so it's that ownership that I think, yeah, it's a technology and it helps us live a good life, but I think it points to the Father, Son, the Holy Spirit and us being a unit.
• 35:06
  Yeah. Yeah. To actually identify those roles and, and, and you can look at the different strengths and you can start to calibrate. But, but I think that one of the biggest variables that you don't want to violate is birth order. And, and part of the way that we experienced that and that I enjoyed working with that, cause some people hear that. And one of the things that they're going to.
• 35:24
  feel as, oh my gosh, this incredible burden of responsibility is endlessly on this oldest child. But one of the things that we really worked on with our oldest is I would often take kids with me different days of the week, or we'd integrate them into business, or especially the oldest would get to spend a lot of time with me. And so when that happened, we'd immediately delegate the oldest or the top responsibility to the second or the third or the fourth.
• 35:51
  disrupting and changing the dynamic of the family. And so whoever was sort of oldest would get a lot more opportunities to kind of be elevated into the adult space. And my oldest daughter, Kelsey, she was, she just, it was, you know,
• 36:06
  If we were having conversations as adults and the kids were all doing something, she was just, you know, wanting to be with the adults so often. And so part of what I think we decided we needed to do was really enfold her more often into the adults and then let the, you know, the existing kids like work out in their birth order.
• 36:27
  the dynamic that occurs when she's removed, right? So that the second oldest, sometimes like I said, third oldest, gets to experience that responsibility. It doesn't endlessly exist on the oldest because you want to be finding ways to change up the dynamics on a regular basis. And I think that integrating into work like you guys do and like we did, that gives you so many cool opportunities to really invite that oldest child into that adult space.
• 36:55
  Absolutely. Yeah. It's funny you say that. I noticed my daughter, she likes, she's always liked to hang out with adults more than she has kids. And I think it's, it's been healthy for her because she's,
• 37:09
  It's preparing her for life, but also it's preparing her to be a mom. And I think society and culture, they're totally against that, man. I think it's perfectly okay for a lady to have a career, but above anything else, they're going to be mothers. So that's really a good point.
• 37:27
  Yeah. A hundred percent. Well, Justin, I'd love for you to, so do you, do you have with you any of the so strong food? Like I'd love for you to tell us a little bit more about, about what people can get and what that, cause I, part of your branding, could you explain like how, how you branded the product around mothers and yeah, where that came from? Tell me about the brand itself.
• 37:48
  Yeah, so we started our company, Sow Strong Food. We wanted to sow strong. We wanted SOW, Sow Strong Food. We wanted to sow strong seeds in our community through healthy food, number one. Number two, we realized that being a mom is the toughest sport in the world, and we wanted to really support moms in the journey of being a mom. There's so much misinformation about moms.
• 38:10
  about food, what moms should eat. Should they eat low carb? Should they eat high protein carnivore? We wanted to get a macro nutrient balanced snack that tasted good for moms. And also too, our bars are in the shape of a circle and we unintentionally made them like that because we believe that the dinner table is sacred and that family should come together and commune. And when we're saying grace and saying our blessing, it's a pointer to the resurrection because we're,
• 38:37
  a animal or a plant or a human had to give of themselves so that we can eat. So we wanted that to just be a reminder in people's minds. And that's how we started So Strong Food. That's awesome. Well, guys, I think it's so important that we get behind other family teams, especially when they're integrating family and mission into an amazing product, like what Justin and his family are doing. So SoStrongFoods, S-O-W dot com. That's where people can look at. And you've got the...
• 39:04
  mom and a mission bar. You got different, like there's all kinds of different, um, ways that they can, they can buy the, uh, nutrition bar there. Anything else would be helpful for, you know?
• 39:14
  That'd be a blessing. Yeah. So go to so strong food.com. Uh, we have the gluten-free mom bites. Okay. They're free and nut free and the bars are gluten-free and they taste great. There's three flavors and we really appreciate everybody's support. Awesome. Well, Justin, thanks for sharing your story. And yeah, we're excited to see your awesome family as it just continues to expand and, and, uh, and develop. And it's, it's so fun to, to catch up and hear how things are going and,
• 39:42
  And I'm so excited about the business you guys are starting together. So good work, man. Keep it up. Thanks, brother. Appreciate everything you do, Jeremy. Thank you for listening to the Family Teams podcast. If you're enjoying this content or have learned something new, please make sure to leave a rating and review and share with a friend. To stay up to date with our events, new content, and products, you can follow us on Facebook and Instagram at Family Teams.