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026 - Mother And Son · North and South

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  Speaker 1: Chapter twenty six of North and South. This is the
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  Speaker 1: LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
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  Speaker 1: For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
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  Speaker 1: Recording by Leanne Howlett. North and South by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell,
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  Speaker 1: Chapter twenty six, Mother and Son, I have found that
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  Speaker 1: holy place of rest still changeless, missus Hemans. When mister
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  Speaker 1: Thornton had left the house that morning, he was almost
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  Speaker 1: blinded by his baffled passion. He was as dizzy as
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  Speaker 1: if Margaret, instead of looking and speaking and moving like
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  Speaker 1: a tender graceful woman, had been a sturdy fishwife and
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  Speaker 1: given him a sound blow with her fists. He had
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  Speaker 1: positive bodily pain, a violent headache, and a throbbing, intermittent pulse.
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  Speaker 1: He could not bear the noise, the garish light, the
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  Speaker 1: continued rumbling movement of the He called himself a fool
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  Speaker 1: for suffering so and yet he could not, at the
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  Speaker 1: moment recollect the cause of his suffering and whether it
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  Speaker 1: was adequate to the consequences it had produced. It would
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  Speaker 1: have been a relief to him if he could have
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  Speaker 1: sat down and cried on a doorstep by a little
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  Speaker 1: child who was raging and storming through his passionate tears
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  Speaker 1: at some injury he had received. He said to himself
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  Speaker 1: that he hated Margaret, but a wild, sharp sensation of
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  Speaker 1: love cleft his dull, thunderous feeling like lightning, even as
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  Speaker 1: he shaped the words expressive of hatred. His greatest comfort
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  Speaker 1: was in hugging his torment, and in feeling, as he
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  Speaker 1: had indeed said to her that though she might despise him,
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  Speaker 1: condemn him, treat him with her proud, sovereign indifference, he
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  Speaker 1: did not change one wit. She could not make him change.
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  Speaker 1: He loved her, and would love her and defy her.
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  Speaker 1: And this miserable, bodily pain, he stood still for a
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  Speaker 1: moment to make this resolution firm and clear. There was
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  Speaker 1: an omnibus passing going into the country. The conductor thought
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  Speaker 1: he was wishing for a place, and stopped near the pavement.
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  Speaker 1: It was too much trouble to apologize and explain, so
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  Speaker 1: he mounted upon it and was borne away past long
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  Speaker 1: rows of houses, then past detached villas with trim gardens,
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  Speaker 1: till they came to real country hedgerows, and by and
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  Speaker 1: by to a small country town. Then everybody got down,
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  Speaker 1: and so did mister Thornton, And because they walked away,
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  Speaker 1: he did so too. He went into the fields, walking
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  Speaker 1: briskly because the sharp motion relieved his mind. He could
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  Speaker 1: remember all about it now, the pitiful figure he must
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  Speaker 1: have cut, the absurd way in which he had gone,
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  Speaker 1: and done the very thing he had so often agreed
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  Speaker 1: with himself in thinking would be the most foolish thing
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  Speaker 1: in the world, and had met with exactly the consequences which,
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  Speaker 1: in these wise moods he had always foretold were certain
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  Speaker 1: to follow if he ever did make such a fool
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  Speaker 1: of himself. Was he bewitched by those beautiful eyes, that soft,
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  Speaker 1: half open, sighing mouth, which lay so close upon his
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  Speaker 1: shoulder only yesterday he could not even shake off the
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  Speaker 1: recollection that she had been there, that her arms had
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  Speaker 1: been around him once, if never again. He only caught
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  Speaker 1: glimpses of her. He did not understand her altogether. At
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  Speaker 1: one time she was so brave, and at another so timid,
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  Speaker 1: Now so tender, and then so haughty and regal proud.
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  Speaker 1: And then he thought over every time he had ever
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  Speaker 1: seen her once again, by way of finally forgetting her,
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  Speaker 1: He saw her in every dress in every mood, and
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  Speaker 1: did not know which became her best. Even this morning,
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  Speaker 1: how magnificent she had looked, her eyes flashing out upon
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  Speaker 1: him at the idea that because she had shared his
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  Speaker 1: danger yesterday, she had cared for him the least. If
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  Speaker 1: mister Thornton was a fool in the morning, as he
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  Speaker 1: assured himself at least twenty times he was, he did
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  Speaker 1: not grow much wiser in the afternoon. All that he
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  Speaker 1: gained in return for his sixpenny omnibus ride was a
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  Speaker 1: more vivid conviction that there never was, never could be
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  Speaker 1: any one like Margaret, that she did not love him
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  Speaker 1: and never would, but that she know nor the whole world,
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  Speaker 1: should never hinder him from loving her. And so he
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  Speaker 1: returned to the little market place and remounted the omnibus
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  Speaker 1: to return to Milton. It was late in the afternoon
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  Speaker 1: when he was set down near his warehouse. The accustomed
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  Speaker 1: places brought back the accustomed habits and trains of thought.
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  Speaker 1: He knew how much he had to do more than
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  Speaker 1: his usual work, owing to the commotion of the day before.
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  Speaker 1: He had to see his brother magistrates. He had to
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  Speaker 1: complete the arrangements only half made in the morning for
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  Speaker 1: the comfort and safety of his newly imported Irish hands.
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  Speaker 1: He had to secure them from all chance of communication
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  Speaker 1: with the discontented workpeople of Milton. Last of all, he
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  Speaker 1: had to go home and encounter his mother. Missus Thornton,
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  Speaker 1: had sat in the dining room all day, every moment,
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  Speaker 1: expecting the news of her son's acceptance by Miss Hale.
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  Speaker 1: She had braced herself up many and many a time
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  Speaker 1: at some sudden noise in the house, had caught up
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  Speaker 1: the half dropped work, and begun to ply her needle diligently,
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  Speaker 1: though through dim spectacles and with an unsteady hand. And
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  Speaker 1: many times had the door opened, and some indifferent person
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  Speaker 1: entered on some insignificant Errand then her rigid face unstiffened
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  Speaker 1: from its gray frost bound expression, and the features dropped
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  Speaker 1: into the relaxed look of despondency so unusual to their sternness.
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  Speaker 1: She wrenched herself away from the contemplation of all the
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  Speaker 1: dreary changes that would be brought about to herself by
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  Speaker 1: her son's marriage. She forced her thoughts into the accustomed
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  Speaker 1: household grooves. The newly married couple to be would need
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  Speaker 1: fresh household stocks of linen, and Missus Thornton had closed
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  Speaker 1: basket upon clothes basket full of tablecloths and napkins brought in,
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  Speaker 1: and began to reckon up the store. There was some
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  Speaker 1: confusion between what was hers and consequently marked g h
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  Speaker 1: T for George and Hannah Thornton, and what was her
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  Speaker 1: son's bought with his money marked with his initials. Some
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  Speaker 1: of those marked g h T were Dutch da mask
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  Speaker 1: of the old kind, exquisitely fine. None were like them
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  Speaker 1: now Missus Thornton stood looking at them long. They had
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  Speaker 1: been her pride when she was first married. Then she
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  Speaker 1: knit her brows, and pinched and compressed her lips tight,
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  Speaker 1: and carefully unpicked the g H. She went so far
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  Speaker 1: as to search for the Turkey red marking thread to
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  Speaker 1: put in the new initials, but it was all used,
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  Speaker 1: and she had no heart to send for any more.
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  Speaker 1: Just yet, so she looked fixedly at vacancy, a series
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  Speaker 1: of visions passing before her, in all of which her
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  Speaker 1: son was the principal, the sole object, her son, her pride,
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  Speaker 1: her property. Still he did not come. Doubtless he was
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  Speaker 1: with miss Hale. The new love was displacing her already
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  Speaker 1: from her places. First in his heart. A terrible pain,
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  Speaker 1: a pang of vain jealousy shot through her. She hardly
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  Speaker 1: knew whether it was more physical or mental, but it
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  Speaker 1: forced her to sit down. In a moment, she was
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  Speaker 1: up again, as straight as ever, a grim smile upon
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  Speaker 1: her face for the first time that day, ready for
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  Speaker 1: the door opening, and the rejoicing triumphant one who should
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  Speaker 1: never know the sore regret his mother felt at his marriage.
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  Speaker 1: In all this, there was little thought in it of
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  Speaker 1: the future daughter in law as an individual. She was
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  Speaker 1: to be John's wife, to take missus Thornton's place as
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  Speaker 1: mistress of the house was only one of the rich
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  Speaker 1: consequences which decked out the supreme glory. All household, plenty
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  Speaker 1: and comfort, all purple and fine linen, honor, love, obedience,
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  Speaker 1: troops of friends would all come as naturally as jewels
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  Speaker 1: on a king's robe, and to be as little thought
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  Speaker 1: of for their separate value. To be chosen by John
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  Speaker 1: would separate a kitchen wench from the rest of the world.
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  Speaker 1: And Miss Hale was not so bad. If she had
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  Speaker 1: been a Milton last, Missus Thornton would have positively liked her.
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  Speaker 1: She was pungent and had taste and spirit and flavor
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  Speaker 1: in her. True she was sadly prejudiced and very ignorant,
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  Speaker 1: but that was to be expected from her southern breeding.
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  Speaker 1: A strange sort of mortified comparison of Fanny with her
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  Speaker 1: went on in missus Thornton's mind, and for once she
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  Speaker 1: spoke harshly to her daughter, abused her roundly, and then,
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  Speaker 1: as if by way of penance, she took up Henry's
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  Speaker 1: commentaries and tried to fix her attention on it. Instead
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  Speaker 1: of pursuing the employment, she took pride in pleasure in
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  Speaker 1: and continuing her inspection of the table, lenen his step.
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  Speaker 1: At last she heard him, even while she thought she
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  Speaker 1: was finishing a sentence. While her eye did pass over it,
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  Speaker 1: and her memory could mechanically have repeated it word for word,
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  Speaker 1: She heard him come in at the hall door. Her
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  Speaker 1: quickened sense could interpret every sound of motion. Now he
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  Speaker 1: was at the hat stand, Now at the very room door.
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  Speaker 1: Why did he pause? Let her know the worst? Yet
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  Speaker 1: her head was down over the book. She did not
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  Speaker 1: look up. He came close to the table and stood
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  Speaker 1: still there, waiting till she should have finished the paragraph,
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  Speaker 1: which apparently absorbed her by an effort. She looked up. Well, John,
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  Speaker 1: he knew what that little speech meant, but he had
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  Speaker 1: steeled himself. He longed to reply with a jest. The
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  Speaker 1: bitterness of his heart could have uttered one. But his
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  Speaker 1: mother deserved better of him. He came down behind her
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  Speaker 1: so that she could not see his looks, and bending
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  Speaker 1: back her gray, stony face, he kissed it, murmuring, no
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  Speaker 1: one loves me, no one cares for me, but you mother.
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  Speaker 1: He turned away and stood, leaning his head against the mantelpiece,
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  Speaker 1: tears forcing themselves into his manly eyes. She stood up.
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  Speaker 1: She tottered, for the first time in her life. The
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  Speaker 1: strong woman tottered. She put her hands on his shoulders.
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  Speaker 1: She was a tall woman. She looked into his face.
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  Speaker 1: She made him look at her. Mother's love is given
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  Speaker 1: by God, John, It holds fast forever and ever. A
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  Speaker 1: girl's love is like a puff of smoke, It changes
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  Speaker 1: with every wind. And she would not have you, my
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  Speaker 1: own lad would not she She said her teeth. She
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  Speaker 1: showed them like a dog for the whole length of
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  Speaker 1: her mouth. He shook his head. I am not fit
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  Speaker 1: for her, mother. I knew I was not. She ground
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  Speaker 1: out words between her closed teeth. He could not hear
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  Speaker 1: what she said, but the look in her eyes interpreted
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  Speaker 1: it to be a curse, if not as coarsely worded
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  Speaker 1: as fell and intent as ever was uttered. And yet
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  Speaker 1: her heart leapt up light to know he was her
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  Speaker 1: owning again. Mother, said he hurriedly. I cannot hear a
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  Speaker 1: word against her. Spare me, spare me. I am very
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  Speaker 1: weak in my sore heart. I love her, yet I
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  Speaker 1: love her more than ever, and I hate her, said
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  Speaker 1: missus Thornton, in a low, fierce voice. I tried not
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  Speaker 1: to hate her when she stood between you and me,
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  Speaker 1: because I said to myself, she will make him happy,
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  Speaker 1: and I would give my heart's blood to do that.
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  Speaker 1: But now I hate her for your misery's sake. Yes, John,
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  Speaker 1: it's no use hiding up your aching heart from me.
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  Speaker 1: I am the mother that bore you, and your sorrow
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  Speaker 1: is my agony. And if you don't hate her, I do,
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  Speaker 1: then Mother, you make me love her more. She is
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  Speaker 1: unjustly treated by you, and I must make the balance even.
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  Speaker 1: But why do we talk of love hatred? She does
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  Speaker 1: not care for me, and that is enough too much.
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  Speaker 1: Let us never name the subject again. It is the
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  Speaker 1: only thing you can do for me in the matter.
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  Speaker 1: Let us never name her. With all my heart, I
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  Speaker 1: only wish that she and all belonging to her, was
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  Speaker 1: swept back to the place they came from. He stood still,
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  Speaker 1: gazing into the fire for a minute or two longer,
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  Speaker 1: Her dry dim eyes filled with unwonted tears as she
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  Speaker 1: looked at him, But she seemed just as grim and
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  Speaker 1: quiet as usual when he next spoke, warrants are out
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  Speaker 1: against three men for conspiracy. Mother. The riot yesterday helped
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  Speaker 1: to knock up the strike, and Margaret's name was no
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  Speaker 1: more mentioned. Between missus Thornton and her son. They fell
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  Speaker 1: back into their usual mode of talk about facts, non opinions,
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  Speaker 1: far less feelings. Their voices and tones were calm and cold.
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  Speaker 1: A stranger might have gone away and thought that he
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  Speaker 1: had never seen such frigid indifference of demeanor between such
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  Speaker 1: near relations. End of Chapter twenty six. Recording by le
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  Speaker 1: Anne Howlett