Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1264 - 20 Granny Hobbies to Get Your Kids Off Screens
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: Okay, so you've heard of hard before. Today we are
- 0:08Speaker 1: going granny core.
- 0:10Speaker 2: Is it like glasses and gray hair melting sticks.
- 0:13Speaker 1: No, it's like crochet and knitting and baking and living
- 0:20Speaker 1: life slow, having slow hobbies, slow activities because they soothe,
- 0:26Speaker 1: they anchor, and I think that they can empower a
- 0:29Speaker 1: generation in overdrive. Today and welcome to Happy Families Podcast
- 0:34Speaker 1: We Adjusted and Kylie Carson. This is Australia's most downloaded
- 0:37Speaker 1: parenting podcast where we give you real parenting solutions every day.
- 0:40Speaker 1: Came across an article just recently and it's thought, this
- 0:42Speaker 1: is so good for the pod. We're always banging on
- 0:45Speaker 1: about how screens and social media are bad for kids,
- 0:47Speaker 1: and Kylie, today we have twenty screen free activities, twenty
- 0:51Speaker 1: ways to entertain the kids without using a device. That
- 0:55Speaker 1: is what we are talking about today. So, Kylie, I mean,
- 0:58Speaker 1: you've been in so many of these conversations, But if
- 1:00Speaker 1: I was to say to you, why does this matter?
- 1:02Speaker 1: Like why are so many parents freaking out about screens?
- 1:04Speaker 1: What would your obvious or most immediate answers be.
- 1:09Speaker 2: The way it affects our kids' mental health? Anxiety depression
- 1:13Speaker 2: is just through the roof and without even understanding numbers.
- 1:18Speaker 2: You just you can't talk to anyone without hearing the
- 1:23Speaker 2: concern in their voice with excess abuse of screens, trouble
- 1:27Speaker 2: with moods and emotions, and it's just it's really challenging.
- 1:32Speaker 1: Yeah, so mental health is a really big one. And
- 1:35Speaker 1: the evidence, I mean, there's still some questions around it,
- 1:38Speaker 1: but it seems pretty pointed to me. And that is
- 1:40Speaker 1: that the more people are on screens, especially kids, but
- 1:42Speaker 1: even us as adults, the more miserable we are, the
- 1:44Speaker 1: more bored we are, the less curious we are, the
- 1:46Speaker 1: less active we are, the poorer the quality of our sleep.
- 1:50Speaker 1: We know that it does have a relationship to academic performance.
- 1:54Speaker 1: So these are the reasons that this matters. I mean,
- 1:57Speaker 1: we could keep on going on, but I think that's
- 1:59Speaker 1: probably enough. Let's get into it twenty ways that you
- 2:02Speaker 1: can entertain the kids without screens. And I want to
- 2:05Speaker 1: start with the grandmar core or the granny core activities. Actually,
- 2:08Speaker 1: I did some googling around, looked on TikTok. I found
- 2:10Speaker 1: like fifty four thousand videos that are all about granny core.
- 2:14Speaker 1: Most of them are about the way you did decor
- 2:16Speaker 1: in your house, Like it's a thing.
- 2:19Speaker 2: You're talking about carpeted bathrooms, and really.
- 2:23Speaker 1: Curtus not used to have carpet in the bathroom, Like.
- 2:25Speaker 2: What about the doily dole that sits on top of
- 2:29Speaker 2: the toilet rolls? Oh and the padded seats for the toilets.
- 2:33Speaker 1: All right, so that's not what we're talking about today. Okay,
- 2:35Speaker 1: we're talking about activities that kids can do. But if
- 2:37Speaker 1: they want to crochet a toilet roll, doily, hold a
- 2:40Speaker 1: dolly thingo that that's fine as well. We need to
- 2:44Speaker 1: talk so, like I said, twenty screen free activities to
- 2:49Speaker 1: help your kids to be entertained and do things a
- 2:51Speaker 1: slow way.
- 2:52Speaker 2: Right.
- 2:52Speaker 1: We had a painter do a room for us recently,
- 2:56Speaker 1: and it occurred to me as I was watching, can't
- 2:58Speaker 1: use AI to paint the room faster? Like there's so
- 3:02Speaker 1: much of the knowledge work that we do you've got
- 3:04Speaker 1: shortcuts for. But there are some things like landscaping or
- 3:08Speaker 1: brick lay building a house, some things where you just
- 3:11Speaker 1: have to go through the process. And the granny core
- 3:13Speaker 1: stuff is all about that, and I think that's why
- 3:16Speaker 1: it matters.
- 3:17Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm just going to highlight there is a
- 3:20Speaker 2: little problem here. We've got plenty of families that actually
- 3:23Speaker 2: don't have access to grandparents or have not had the
- 3:28Speaker 2: opportunity to learn these skills as mums and dads, and
- 3:33Speaker 2: it just makes it a little bit hard sometimes.
- 3:35Speaker 1: Well that's what the internet's for, so you can watch
- 3:37Speaker 1: it on YouTube, I know.
- 3:38Speaker 2: But the amazing that.
- 3:39Speaker 1: Was a joke. That was ironic because we're saying let's
- 3:41Speaker 1: get off screens, and now I'm saying.
- 3:42Speaker 2: Go to YouTube.
- 3:44Speaker 1: I missed it, you did. What was your point?
- 3:47Speaker 2: The point is that the actual gem in these experiences
- 3:53Speaker 2: as we actually get to sit down.
- 3:55Speaker 1: Well and ideally you sit down with your grandma.
- 3:57Speaker 2: That's right. So when I was twelve, I wanted to
- 4:00Speaker 2: learn to knit, and I actually went to my grandma's
- 4:02Speaker 2: house and I sat down with her, and she spent
- 4:05Speaker 2: hours helping me to knit this little baby cardigan. I
- 4:11Speaker 2: still have it. Really, I was so so nervous about
- 4:16Speaker 2: how I was going to do it and whether I
- 4:17Speaker 2: would be able to accomplish it, that I asked her
- 4:20Speaker 2: to make the smallest one possible. So it must have
- 4:23Speaker 2: been like for a premie baby, because our babies have
- 4:26Speaker 2: never worn it because it was so tiny.
- 4:30Speaker 1: You know what I learned when I was at my grandma's.
- 4:32Speaker 1: I never went and learned to knit. I just learned
- 4:34Speaker 1: to swing on the hills hoist in the backyard. Yeah
- 4:37Speaker 1: that was me anyway, But.
- 4:38Speaker 2: That was the experience I had with my nan.
- 4:40Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 4:40Speaker 2: Yeah, she was able to share that with me. And
- 4:42Speaker 2: it's something that I could pick up again now with
- 4:45Speaker 2: a little bit of help. Okay, So I've got five
- 4:48Speaker 2: for you. A resurgent in knitting, crocheting, baking from scratch, wow, gardening.
- 4:55Speaker 1: Just on baking from scratch. I did eat a chocolate
- 4:58Speaker 1: chip cookie that our fifteen year old cook just recently
- 5:00Speaker 1: and it was pretty done good.
- 5:02Speaker 2: Well, you did eat my anzac biscuit before then, and
- 5:04Speaker 2: I think you actually said she did a better job.
- 5:06Speaker 1: I am trying to eat healthily. Well, so you've got
- 5:08Speaker 1: an in crochet, You've got baking. What else have you got?
- 5:11Speaker 2: Gardening indoors or outdoors, embroidery or cross stitch, scrap booking
- 5:15Speaker 2: and photo album.
- 5:17Speaker 1: These are all things that I've watched you do these
- 5:19Speaker 1: and initially, like when we got married and you're doing
- 5:21Speaker 1: these things, I thought it was kind of weird because
- 5:24Speaker 1: I grew up in the home. My mum never did
- 5:26Speaker 1: any of this sort of stuff ever, but this Grandma Corps,
- 5:30Speaker 1: this granny core stuff. It's the sort of thing where
- 5:33Speaker 1: you do get immediate gratification, right like when you did
- 5:35Speaker 1: that cross stitch for our eldest daughter. Every single time
- 5:38Speaker 1: that needle goes through the hole and comes out the
- 5:41Speaker 1: other side, you're seeing progress. It's like gaming in the
- 5:45Speaker 1: old fashioned way. I love it.
- 5:48Speaker 2: I don't even think it's about the progress though. I
- 5:50Speaker 2: think it's about the accomplishment, the end result, seeing something
- 5:54Speaker 2: that you've created with your own hands.
- 5:56Speaker 1: It's like when I've mowed the lawn, I feel like
- 5:58Speaker 1: I've done something. Yeah, I think so, just fifty right, Yeah.
- 6:01Speaker 1: But what I like about things like cross stitch and
- 6:04Speaker 1: knitting and crochet and even baking something is it's pretty
- 6:08Speaker 1: stress free, but it's still productive, and so it's really
- 6:11Speaker 1: satisfying because you're producing something. It's not like you're playing
- 6:13Speaker 1: a game and when you get to the end of it,
- 6:15Speaker 1: you don't have any sense of anything, no sense of
- 6:17Speaker 1: accomplishment when you're playing a game. And there's also no
- 6:20Speaker 1: pressure to excel. It's not like you're being graded. It's
- 6:23Speaker 1: just about creating something with your hands slows you down.
- 6:27Speaker 1: Almost meditative.
- 6:28Speaker 2: Yeah, but it gives you space. It gives you mental space,
- 6:32Speaker 2: it gives you emotional space. You know, a lot of
- 6:35Speaker 2: these things. You can actually be thinking about other things
- 6:38Speaker 2: while you're doing it, but it grounds you.
- 6:40Speaker 1: Okay, So we have a second list. This one is
- 6:42Speaker 1: going back to the fifties, sixties, seventies. We're going to
- 6:46Speaker 1: go what grandpak or instead of grand Mark co orps,
- 6:48Speaker 1: maybe a bit of both, old school outdoor fun. Five
- 6:52Speaker 1: activities here. What have we got down on this list?
- 6:55Speaker 2: Hopscotch, jump rope, street games, building tree four, hanging out
- 7:00Speaker 2: with your mates and hideouts, riding bucks around the neighborhood,
- 7:04Speaker 2: playing Capture the Flag. Oh gosh, I can't remember. I
- 7:07Speaker 2: can't remember the last time I played Capture the Flag,
- 7:10Speaker 2: hide and seek, collecting rocks, leaves, making mud pies.
- 7:13Speaker 1: So this is just being outside and figuring stuff out unstructured.
- 7:17Speaker 2: Yeah, but this is the kind of stuff that you
- 7:18Speaker 2: did because all your mates were hanging out in the
- 7:21Speaker 2: backyard or in the street.
- 7:24Speaker 1: Teaches kids to entertain themselves with whatever is around, right,
- 7:28Speaker 1: This is not I'm bored. This is just go outside
- 7:30Speaker 1: and play. And like I said, unstructured play is what
- 7:34Speaker 1: builds independence. There's something magical about kids being kids, just
- 7:37Speaker 1: getting dirty, exploring using their imagination, turning a stick into
- 7:43Speaker 1: a sword, or a cardboard box into a spaceship. It's
- 7:45Speaker 1: that kind of thing. After the break, we have another
- 7:48Speaker 1: ten old school ideas as we go Grandma corps to
- 7:52Speaker 1: entertain the kids without screens. Okay, Kylie. So we've done
- 8:02Speaker 1: a whole lot of indoor stuff, the grandma style activities.
- 8:06Speaker 1: We've also done some old school outdoor fun. The next
- 8:09Speaker 1: list of five that's going to get us to fifteen
- 8:12Speaker 1: is the sort of things where you're just socially involved
- 8:15Speaker 1: and creating connections. Let's go through those.
- 8:18Speaker 2: We've actually had lots of success with some of these
- 8:21Speaker 2: board game tournaments or just games nights in general.
- 8:24Speaker 1: Yeah, or even a trivia night. Just get everyone together
- 8:26Speaker 1: and goof off from the backyard or in the living room.
- 8:29Speaker 2: Cooking meals together for the neighbors, getting everyone over for
- 8:31Speaker 2: breakfast one morning with bacon and egg rolls.
- 8:34Speaker 1: Just fire up the barbie. Yeah, I'm super easy.
- 8:36Speaker 2: Doesn't take a lot of effort.
- 8:37Speaker 1: We used to do that in our laborhood. We haven't
- 8:39Speaker 1: done that for a while. I think we're due.
- 8:41Speaker 2: We might be starting a neighborhood kids club. We used
- 8:45Speaker 2: to do this every Holidays with the kids. I get
- 8:47Speaker 2: a whole loop of their friends over and we'd have
- 8:48Speaker 2: craft at mornings. Yeah yeah, yeah, volunteering at animal shelters
- 8:52Speaker 2: or community gardens, getting older kids to teach younger kids
- 8:56Speaker 2: skills that they already know.
- 8:58Speaker 1: So basically, this list of five things it helps to
- 9:03Speaker 1: create the relationships that will combat the isolation that screens
- 9:07Speaker 1: are creating. The data tells us really clearly that our
- 9:09Speaker 1: children today are the loneliest that children have ever been
- 9:12Speaker 1: since we've been keeping records. Right around the Western world.
- 9:15Speaker 1: Kids are more connected than ever before, and yet they're
- 9:17Speaker 1: more miserable than ever before. So this is empathy, it's
- 9:20Speaker 1: communication skills, sense of belonging. Like, we're really helping children
- 9:25Speaker 1: to be part of a community. They get to see
- 9:28Speaker 1: the way that their relationship and their interaction impacts others.
- 9:33Speaker 1: Really good for positive peer connections and social growth, and
- 9:36Speaker 1: way better than social media. Let's do our last five.
- 9:40Speaker 1: Now we're getting a little bit constructive. You've put together
- 9:43Speaker 1: a list of five things that can help kids to build,
- 9:46Speaker 1: create and grow.
- 9:49Speaker 2: Building with Lego or other construction toys, writing and illustrating
- 9:52Speaker 2: their own books, learning a musical instrument, clay modeling or sculpture,
- 9:57Speaker 2: designing and creating costumes.
- 10:00Speaker 1: And what kid doesn't love putting on a play for
- 10:03Speaker 1: at least their parents, if not the whole neighborhood.
- 10:05Speaker 2: Yeah, we've done a few of those two so many So.
- 10:09Speaker 1: All of these are creative activities. They get the kids
- 10:12Speaker 1: involved with one another, with people in the neighborhood. They
- 10:15Speaker 1: require problem solving, planning, sustained attention, frustration tolerance. These are
- 10:21Speaker 1: the sort of skills that transfer into the rest of
- 10:23Speaker 1: life because that makes it more resilient, and it also
- 10:26Speaker 1: it engages their prefrontal cortex. It get gets them thinking
- 10:29Speaker 1: through things and getting better. I love watching kids develop
- 10:34Speaker 1: original ideas, the self esteem that comes out of the
- 10:37Speaker 1: ownership over their accomplishments. I just think there's so much
- 10:40Speaker 1: value in that. That is our big list of twenty
- 10:42Speaker 1: ways that we can go old school get the kids
- 10:45Speaker 1: entertained without screens. We'll list the whole twenty in the
- 10:49Speaker 1: show notes. Quick note, if you don't know how to
- 10:52Speaker 1: do any of the things, you might need to use
- 10:54Speaker 1: a screen to get some help. If you can't call Grandma,
- 10:57Speaker 1: the goal isn't to eliminate screens entirely. The goal is
- 11:00Speaker 1: to ensure that the screens aren't crowding out enriching experiences
- 11:05Speaker 1: that are going to build confidence and creativity and connection
- 11:10Speaker 1: for our kids.
- 11:11Speaker 2: If grandma's not around, find a grandma, find someone like
- 11:16Speaker 2: That's what this is all about. It's about building community
- 11:19Speaker 2: for our kids and helping them to make positive connections.
- 11:23Speaker 1: Yeah, so we're supposed to wrap this up and not
- 11:25Speaker 1: go on this tangent, but I've got a highlight. Over
- 11:27Speaker 1: the years, you and I have kind of adopted as
- 11:31Speaker 1: grandma's various people who are more mature, more elderly that
- 11:36Speaker 1: our children can spend time with and learn from and
- 11:38Speaker 1: engage with. Because we haven't been around family, we haven't
- 11:42Speaker 1: had your parents and my parents particularly close.
- 11:45Speaker 2: Well, we've recognized shut ins, you know, people who don't
- 11:48Speaker 2: have family themselves and so they're really lonely and all
- 11:51Speaker 2: by themselves, and taking our kids around to visit them
- 11:54Speaker 2: has made all the difference.
- 11:55Speaker 1: Or having them over for dinner once a month or
- 11:57Speaker 1: every six weeks or something like that, it just creates
- 12:00Speaker 1: the community and the kids get to see the diversity
- 12:03Speaker 1: of viewpoints and lifestyles like it's just it's a good thing.
- 12:07Speaker 1: So we really hope that these ideas are useful in
- 12:10Speaker 1: helping your children to be screened, free, be productive, learn skills,
- 12:14Speaker 1: and no just generally thrive. Thanks so much for listening
- 12:17Speaker 1: to the Happy Families podcast. It's produced by Justin Rowland
- 12:19Speaker 1: from Bridge Media. If you'd like more info about making
- 12:21Speaker 1: your family happier, you'll find all the details you need
- 12:24Speaker 1: at happy families dot com dot a u