Latest / Son of a Boy Dad / Quadriplegics | Son of a Boy Dad #193

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Quadriplegics | Son of a Boy Dad #193 · Son of a Boy Dad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners. You can find
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Vibs and this is my PSA to
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  Speaker 2: remind you that golf season is officially here. Whether you
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  Speaker 5: Time and participating McDonald's alrighty, welcome back to the Son
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: of a Boy Dad podcast.
• 2:10
  Speaker 7: I'm not going back to college to be your friend.
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  Speaker 5: Eligibility and member terms apply. April twenty second.
• 2:42
  Speaker 9: Golf season is in full swing and getting out there
• 2:45
  Speaker 9: to work on your game is bound to make any
• 2:47
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  Speaker 4: Out to day. Secretary's Day, Secretary's Day? Hey, what's going
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: on there? Pal? We saw you in the hockey game Mark,
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: So I know you guys. I'm Ryan Whitney.
• 3:16
  Speaker 5: I got a drink named after me, Dude, Pink Whitney.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: That's what I thought.
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: See you, fellas, I invented the thing you pigeoned pink
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: Whitney for legendary.
• 3:25
  Speaker 8: Moments ay and happy whose Day?
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: Zing?
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: Anyways, we're here.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: You like that one else?
• 3:37
  Speaker 10: Did? I?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: Happy dirty slut Horse Day.
• 3:43
  Speaker 8: I'm happy to be uh here with you, fellows. We're
• 3:46
  Speaker 8: here live from h Q three and uh Son of
• 3:50
  Speaker 8: a Boy Dad, Welcome back.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: First episode since Taylor Swift's release.
• 3:54
  Speaker 8: Yes, first episode since Drake made his disc track an
• 3:56
  Speaker 8: official track on Spotify.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: Yes, that's huge too.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm officially tired of these Taylors, these people filming
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: themselves listening to Taylor Swift shit.
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: Though.
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  Speaker 8: I don't know if I've seen any of the ol
• 4:08
  Speaker 8: people crying listening to it, crying. I've only ever seen
• 4:11
  Speaker 8: that one video of the girl outside of the stadium
• 4:14
  Speaker 8: crying and her friends are like laughing.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Now there's ten thousand of that video of people just
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: sitting in their apartment with like their hoods up, just
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: like looking at each other like shocked, gasping, crying.
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: I'm tired of it. The New York Times wrote an
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: article today about Taylor Swift has given a lot to
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: her fans. Is it too much that people are wary?
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: Excuse me, they're weary. They're weary of how much she's
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: putting out and people are tired of her, even her fans.
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: I was under the impression that this album was pretty.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: Mid right, I don't know. I try to listen to
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: it and I haven't heard of it yet.
• 4:57
  Speaker 8: This feels like that podcast with those with those high
• 5:00
  Speaker 8: school kids.
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: On the couch.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, I feel like that.
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: I've I'm under the impression it was pretty mid direct
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: me if I'm wrong.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: No, that's actually spot on, Jason, Yeah, it's I couldn't
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: listen all the way through. But uh, the discourse around
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: it is. The discourse around it is what's driving me
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  Speaker 1: crazy right now.
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  Speaker 5: I really haven't seen much about it. I just saw
• 5:24
  Speaker 5: that it came out.
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  Speaker 1: Somehow my algorithm has just maybe just because I hate
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: watched enough videos just people being like, oh oh no,
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: a typewriter you know what that means.
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's definitely it.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: Dude.
• 5:37
  Speaker 8: If you watch one video all the way through on
• 5:40
  Speaker 8: any social media platform, now, the next seven videos you
• 5:43
  Speaker 8: see will be related to that video. Yeah, like they're
• 5:46
  Speaker 8: on the algorithm, Like it changes second by second.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Now, right, I have a endless barrage of gay porn.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Now, I got a lot of people falling off cliffs
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: really yeah, like midsummer Well yeah, just I For some reason,
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: I watch a lot of cliff diving videos. I get
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: into those. Rabbit holes are good, are great, great videos,
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: But even better are people accidentally diving off cliff.
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: I've never seen those.
• 6:15
  Speaker 8: I've seen the people that do the squirrel suit and
• 6:18
  Speaker 8: then they slam into the bridges.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I thought, there's only one guy that slammed into a bridge.
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: It might be just one guy, but it is the bridge.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: Yes, I saw the guy who hit the the sort
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: of cornice of the cliff and he broke his legs
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: and doing somebody still managed to pull his shoot and
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: land and survive.
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  Speaker 5: Oh no, this guy exploded.
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: Jelly.
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: He turned into a fine dust.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: Well here's when I started watching today is car simulations
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: of different models of cars.
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  Speaker 5: I love those videos.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: What do they do jumping, jumping and then getting into
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  Speaker 4: accidents and the percentage of survival.
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  Speaker 5: You gotta not watch those. Those are it's just brain rot.
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  Speaker 5: That's all about That is dude.
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  Speaker 8: That's a kid playing GTA throwing random numbers on on
• 7:08
  Speaker 8: the screen.
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  Speaker 5: There's dude, it's there's no because the model for me
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: and I thought, fucks the Tesla.
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: He always fucks the tesla. Yeah, And I said to myselfself,
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: I said, I think in my car, knowing it as
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: I do, I would take it at the proper trajectory
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  Speaker 4: to have at least land it like the Blues Brothers
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: going over the bridge. Forty eight percent survival, I would
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: say forty eight percent.
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  Speaker 5: I don't know.
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  Speaker 8: I've watched those videos for an extended period of time
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  Speaker 8: and then got off my phone and been like, why
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  Speaker 8: did I What was I just doing?
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah? I just watched that for an hour.
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  Speaker 4: Well, here's all of this brain Rod, as you put it,
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: has made, has has created, it has conjured a question
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  Speaker 4: in my brain that I have not been been able
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  Speaker 4: to get past. And it's keeping me up at night.
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  Speaker 4: And I'm glad I'm here today to ask it of you.
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  Speaker 4: Two yes, which of the following two things would make
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  Speaker 4: you feel more guilty if you were to be the
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  Speaker 4: reason for them. One you blind a child? Okay too,
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  Speaker 4: you paralyze a child. M damn, that's such a good question.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: Good question. What's going to be harder for you to
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  Speaker 4: live with for the rest of para? Oh?
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  Speaker 5: I was gonna say blind.
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  Speaker 4: It's not so obvious. Yes, this is one of the
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  Speaker 4: great questions of our time. I think I would debate.
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  Speaker 1: It's like red blessed, red dress, gold dress.
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah whatever, blue dress, gold dress? Why behind.
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: Well so full body paralyzed?
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  Speaker 4: So like that tricky. Yeah, let's just say I forget
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  Speaker 4: wait the legs out, one.
• 8:44
  Speaker 8: Night of sleep, guilty conscious is clean a little bit.
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: So I want to make it closer for you, so
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: you don't feel that bad about people that have to
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: wheel themselves with their hands. They still have the use
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: of their hands.
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  Speaker 8: If you still have the use of your hands, I
• 9:00
  Speaker 8: think that is so much better than being blind. You're
• 9:04
  Speaker 8: just kind of like a pain in the ass. But
• 9:07
  Speaker 8: people would still like you still have friends and shit.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: Like complaining about accessibility and ship like that.
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, is there a ramp at your house before
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: I come?
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  Speaker 4: People that I know, people that I know that are
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: that are in wheelchair bound, but their hands are the
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: honestly the most inspiring people I've ever met. I have
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  Speaker 4: never met anyone like that who was super bitter about it.
• 9:31
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean, and it's also you do you can
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  Speaker 8: do like you could do what we're doing right now.
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: You could play video games.
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: You could I will say one time we were in
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: high school and there was a girl that was in
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: a wheelchair and we were at a house party and
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: it was in someone's basement and they had to take
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: the storm entrance into the storm doors. Yeah, and we
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: had to carry her down, and I volunteered. The second
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: we picked her up, I was like, this is a
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: terrible idea.
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: Why he as well?
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: I thought I was gonna double paralyzer she.
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: It was is so stairs are steep as hell.
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: Very very hard, very ungainly to carry a person.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: How many boys did you haveair?
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: We have four of us, But but there's no easy
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: way to have.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Four people to put rods on them like a bicycle.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: They need spokes, like it's a litter.
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: Like we are honestly bringing her through the crowds of Rome. Yes, yeah,
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: and she's got like a spiderweb veil over her face.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: They need to. I don't know why they don't make
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: it more accessible like that. Four seems for seems like
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: a lot.
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: Four seems like everyone was like I want to get
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: a slice, like I want other people.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: We need you need to, we need need to know.
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: We needed every one of us going downstairs. That's steep,
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: especially on a wheelchair if you have two.
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: She's going backwards exactly like a Stephen Hawking wheelchair or
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: just traditional wheelchair.
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: No, it wasn't a Stephen Hawking. You think she's going
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: to a house party down in Storm City. You think
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: we're taking paralyzed.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: She was paralyzed, Okay, Okay, paralyzed, quad or paraplegic.
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: I'm glad that you said that because I did not remember.
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: I knew there was nomenclature for this, but I couldn't
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: remember what it was. What it is all for. Paraplegic
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: is a pair of just a pair of legs gone.
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: Is where you have a parrot speak for you.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: It's when you're a pirate who's paralyzed.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah. No, she only didn't have the use of her legs.
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: Interesting, Okay, so she was giving out handy. I'm still
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: going blind.
• 11:26
  Speaker 8: I'm going if it's only legs, I'm going to the
• 11:29
  Speaker 8: fat over blind every time.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: So you but you said that you can still do
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: this if your legs are gone, you could. You could
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: be a blind podcaster.
• 11:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you could be a blind Me the first open
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: mic ever went, or the second one, Me and Omber
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: there and there was a dude with a wheelchair and
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: he was the funniest person on the show. By my mind.
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: I'll tell you what, if I'm blind, I'm not living
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: in New York City. I don't care how bad you know, Comedian,
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: Are you out of your fucking life?
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: It's crazy New York.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: But it's better. How is it better in the country
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: because you just have you can sit and Brai'll read
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: a book with the light, sunshine filtering through the trees,
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: drinking iced tea, hear the birds.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: In New York, it's like you, it doesn't matter if
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: you have a ten square foot apartment or a three
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: thousand square foot apartment. If you're blind, I just want
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: to want it.
• 12:14
  Speaker 5: There's a blind guy in this in this building, right,
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: there's a there's a blind guy in this building.
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: There is a density of blindness in this area. Yeah,
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: because there's some kind of there is some kind of yeah,
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: some sort of like moth flame that they can feel.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: I guess. I don't know how they're all getting there,
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: but there are a lot of them.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: And they say it's a different level of darkness when
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: you're blind versus when you have no eyeballs.
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: I mean, the amount we would save on motorized blinds,
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: because I'm at a point now where I cannot sleep
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: without full blackout curtains. Really, and if I have to
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: get up instead of pressing a button, I'm not tired
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: anymore now I'm moving around.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Or the livery and hotels probably drives you crazy. You
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: have to be incensed. Why did you ask that question?
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: I was just thinking about it. I don't know exactly
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: I must have seen. I was thinking about, you know,
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: the worst things that one could do to a child,
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: things that would be really hard to overcome, both from
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: a reputation standpoint. If you lived in a village, say,
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: everyone would know you for that thing.
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: Mark Wahlberg blinded two people.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but he was He's been so good in so
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: many films.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: And he's been such a good guy in the movies,
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: the of Entourage, and he saved he stopped nine to eleven.
• 13:42
  Speaker 11: That's worth at least five kids. But these were adults,
• 13:47
  Speaker 11: adult kids. What do you think do you think it
• 13:49
  Speaker 11: would be worse to blind a kid or an adult?
• 13:51
  Speaker 11: I think I think an adults. Oh, it's always kid, No,
• 13:55
  Speaker 11: it's always.
• 13:55
  Speaker 8: Now because if you blind a kid, then it's like, well,
• 13:58
  Speaker 8: you didn't really have much time seeing anyway, you don't
• 14:01
  Speaker 8: really know what you're missing out on.
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: You could argue, if you blind an adult, at least
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: they had half their life and now they can draw
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: their spank bank as much fun. It's one percent. What
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: it comes down to, is the spank bank. It's so
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: much fuller. Yeah.
• 14:14
  Speaker 8: But then when you get blind, you kind of attracted
• 14:16
  Speaker 8: to different things like textures and smells. So maybe like
• 14:21
  Speaker 8: a nice beef stew gets it done for you.
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: The blinds are beating off to a.
• 14:25
  Speaker 8: Strogan, i'd assume, So, yeah, a nice lasagna fresh out
• 14:29
  Speaker 8: of the oven.
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: That can't be what drives them wild.
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: It's got to be something like it's got to be
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: texture and smell.
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: Maybe something that if you were a blind person who
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: really liked boobs, Yeah, which my guess is their fans.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: That has to be their main thing. My guess is
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: their fans. Yeah, why wouldn't they be right?
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm sure.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: Do you think even some nipples have brail on them? Honestly?
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: Well that was exactly That's exactly what I was gonna
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: ask if there was a boob that was covered in
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: pimples and warts and ingrown hair and stuff like that
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: are they as turned off by that, even more so
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: perhaps than a seeing able person.
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: They probably like.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: That more what more texture you're saying, Yeah, just a
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: different little bit of grip to it or just yeah.
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: Watch they have to find the actual nipple they don't
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: even know where.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: Wow, that's a mangled That is an off road breast.
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: And you said it had ingrown hairs and warts mars breasts.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: But I wasn't picturing bumps the size of other nipples.
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: Oh I was. When I think of warts road and
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: New DELI, I think of a big bump down which.
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: An ox cart wheel might lose its spokes.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just going off roading on the titty. But uh,
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: the blind man, uh has to find new things to
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: be attracted to, yes, you think, whereas the paraplegic can
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: just go back to their I knew, I knew an ornery,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: nasty pair polegic and he he had a girlfriend that
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: he had from beforehand, and I think they still He
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: was like so insistent on like letting me know that
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: his dick still work, that he would make like crass
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: jokes and embarrass her about the sex that they had.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: Oh interest, that's too bad. That's sad. Because I was
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: thinking he must be someone who had certainly found the
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: art of kind of lingos and then he sits down
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: on him. Well yeah, but then then he has to
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: have sort of an m m a tap out. I
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: can't breathe move.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Or he flops down on her.
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: Oh you think he goes face first. It was like
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: when you get your hair washed at the barbers just
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: coming in there?
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: Do they do wheelchairs reclined?
• 16:52
  Speaker 10: Can wheel on him?
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: You ever sat in a wheelchair. I'm gonna be honest,
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: it's not bad.
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: It's not bad. It's very fonn to the degree of
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: you start to lose a little bit of sympathy. Well, no,
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: it's fun.
• 17:02
  Speaker 8: It's fun because you know you have the option of
• 17:05
  Speaker 8: standing up afterwards.
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, except think of how much walking you do that
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: makes you tired, think of joint pain in your legs.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: It's like it's like a vacation in Antarctica. It's like
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: interesting because you can leave.
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 17:19
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it's like the waterboarding thing we were talking about
• 17:21
  Speaker 8: last week, Like it doesn't count because you know.
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: You're not.
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: I am trying to be a.
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: So just get it out there.
• 17:30
  Speaker 8: Did you blind a kid or did you paralyze, neither.
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: You paralyzed a blind kid, I think, I think, yeah,
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: I think if you know, I got here. I think
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: I got here through this thought, which was that if
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: if I love to move around quite a bit, Yeah,
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: by way, there's something I also love to see. If
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: either one of these things happened to me, is there
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: one that would make me more likely to want to
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: give up and die? Probably? Like and I got that
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: idea for a million dollar baby. I'm not just being
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: dramatic here because.
• 18:09
  Speaker 12: If you did it, or if one of those had
• 18:10
  Speaker 12: happened to me, if I could if I was paralyzed
• 18:12
  Speaker 12: all of a sudden at this point in my life,
• 18:14
  Speaker 12: knowing how much I like to you know, if I
• 18:16
  Speaker 12: was paralyzed, and I don't think I would notice for
• 18:21
  Speaker 12: like a week.
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: If I got paralyzed.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: Today, Yeah, tot for long. I haven't shipped all week.
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: Nothing would change for me, Like it would take until
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: in my apartment really smells.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: Oh no, it's me is that bed sores.
• 18:45
  Speaker 8: I have no shows until Friday. That's when I would
• 18:49
  Speaker 8: first notice that I'm paralyzed. That's when it would first
• 18:53
  Speaker 8: kick in, and it would be like minutes before my
• 18:58
  Speaker 8: spot and you'd cancel.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: You try to run over there and you.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Just yeah, yeah, on to the ground. It would be
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: way funnier though, if you're paralyzed. Think about how funny
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: that dude was. At your second open mic that you
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: went to.
• 19:12
  Speaker 8: He killed, but I they did have to carry him
• 19:16
  Speaker 8: on stage, so you got to really kill because there's
• 19:20
  Speaker 8: no ramp. No, this was that Eastfield Comedy Club and
• 19:24
  Speaker 8: fun yeah, and they carried him onto the stage and
• 19:27
  Speaker 8: then he killed. But it's like you'd imagine sucking. Imagine
• 19:31
  Speaker 8: they carry you up and then you bomb.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: You just leave.
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: They're like, yeah, yeah, you can just sit in there.
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: In some ways, it is the perfect outlet. It is
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: the perfect thing. I would say that, you know, an
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: audience is probably more unlikely to give you the benefit
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: of the doubt. True. If you come up in a wheelchair, yeah,
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: I might have to go find that one that I
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: used to use.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Some of the wheelchairs the electric ones have like so
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: there's two wheels up front, two bigger wheels in the back, yes,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: two tiny wheels behind that tip yeah, but it's almost
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: like they want you to do wheelies.
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: The fact that they have those like tiny wheels.
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: It's like training wheels, just like on bike.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Life when dudes are like leaning backwards dragging their hand
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: bind them.
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: I got to the point when my friend my friends
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: had a wheelchair in their apartment because some girl had
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: brought it over because she used to bring it. So
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: they used to go to this bar called Sidebar on
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: Sundays for football and it was so crowded and it
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: was miserably uncomfortable. It was just packed, and so she
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: bought a wheelchair on Amazon so that she could go
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: to Sidebar so people would give her space, but she
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: didn't actually need it. But like people give space to
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: a person in a wheelchairs instead a crowded bars, she
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: would do this.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Does she have nice legs or did she like let
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: her legs atrophy just for the bit for the for
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: the No.
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: I'm sure that they were well muscled and tan, and
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: uh you know I.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Would be furious if I saw someone with muscular legs
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: fucking sitting in a wheelchair.
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I would have picked them out.
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: What did she did? You go to the bathroom like
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: someone had?
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: You assume someone in a wheelchair is just recovering from
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: an ursury? Yeah, like that? What was your question?
• 21:09
  Speaker 8: Did she ever like go to the bathroom and someone
• 21:11
  Speaker 8: would be like, that's your standing, what's going on again?
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: I think that's just one of those things where you
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: can't assume that it's a complete true.
• 21:21
  Speaker 5: I guess you could go to the bathroom and maybe
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: like limp a little bit.
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but on a show, you're gonna want to ask
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: for a hand. Yeah, and girls are good at that.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I wonder what percentage of people in wheelchairs just in
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: general don't actually need to be in them, because at
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: the airport, it's seeing.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: An elderly person get out of a wheelchair and walk
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: completely comfortably into the X ray machine and then out
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: the other side.
• 21:51
  Speaker 8: Yeah, a JFK specifically going to the delta gates that
• 21:57
  Speaker 8: are two miles away from security.
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: I mean they must they're just handing out wheelchairs.
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: Honestly.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: I want to start going up to the people, like
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: the soldiers who are accusing people of stolen valor.
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like where'd you do your surgery? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: What was the medical center where you do your surgery?
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: What was a procedure where they do the incision?
• 22:14
  Speaker 8: Have you ever seen that Louis bit where he's talking
• 22:15
  Speaker 8: about how he was how he was in like a
• 22:18
  Speaker 8: small town and there was a there was like a
• 22:21
  Speaker 8: week he was walking by like a pawn shop or something,
• 22:23
  Speaker 8: and there was like a wheelchair in the window, and
• 22:26
  Speaker 8: he was like, I don't know how much of like
• 22:27
  Speaker 8: an impulse purchase that is, like someone just being like, Oh,
• 22:32
  Speaker 8: that would help a lot with my paralysis, so I
• 22:36
  Speaker 8: don't have to drag myself down the sidewalk anymore.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: I can't believe this girl stole valor in a wheelchair and.
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: She bought it and then she left it at my
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: friend's apartment and it was there. They used it as
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: extra seeding for football games and stuff because we would
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: go there to watch games and I would always sit
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: in it. And I got to the point where I
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: could pretty much hang out in a wheelie without eating
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: do her just much.
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: In a wheelie like it, like you could do a
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: wheelie and just chill.
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's strength, it's easy.
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: No, it's a it's just knowing that, you know, not panicking.
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: You remember do you remember those bongo boards? Oh yeah,
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: where you'd kind of go like that, but if you
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: got the hang of it, it was all about just
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: don't move much. Yeah yeah, yeah, same with wheeling. Those
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: are great yeah, I like those.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Do you have the benefit that if you fall backwards
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: out of it, you can just roll on to your feet,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: whereas if you're in a wheelchair, you're gonna have to
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: like crawl back into that chair.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: Next to this point, the girl I mentioned from high
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: school whom we brought down the stairs, I think it's
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: who we brought down the stairs. Uh. She We created
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: a dance circle at that dance party, and she went
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: in the middle and did wheelies and we all cheered.
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: That's awesome.
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: Now, I would not have applauded as loudly had I
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: known how easy it was to do that. I gave
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: her undue credit, but I wouldn't know that until years later,
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: when I learned to do.
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: It myself understood.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Imagine having a real wheelchair and being in the corner
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: of that party, just furious that everybody's celebrating this fake
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: wheelchair girl.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: Because you can't do a wheelie. Probably correct if you're yeah,
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: because then there's then there's paraplegics whose hands are sort
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: of like clubs. They're a bit like what you what
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: you would do to your hand if you'd hurt your
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: like what JPP has to do for a game, Yes,
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: you wrap it up. Yeah, and they sort of seemed
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: to wheel using their the poms.
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: It's like Tua when he got injured.
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: And the pom. I mean, there's not a lot of
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: dexterity in po in palms. That's why I that's then
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: you then you understand that the fingerless gloves on people
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: in wheelchairs.
• 24:57
  Speaker 8: Oh, I've never seen that, but those I've seen that
• 24:59
  Speaker 8: only in like the basketball.
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: Do those people qualify as paraplegics or would you call
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: them quads? Or are they regaining over time the use
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: of their fingers.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I think pair is just legs, So I don't know
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: if if you have your fingers, I don't know. That's
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: a good question. That's an important distinction to make.
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I'm thinking of Jason Street in Friday
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: Night Lights, That's who I'm thinking of. His hands were
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: sort of permanently closed in like a little bit of
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: a bird. Can you guys do you guys do a
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: good job of of not looking at them? On one today? Man,
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: I don't know what happened. I'm freaking exhausted having fun.
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: Insane shit, it's so horrible, I'm gonna end up paralyzed.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: I just know it.
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe you are.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Do you guys do a good job of not looking
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: at people's like hands when they Uh.
• 25:58
  Speaker 8: No, I'm like a little and target mom staring right
• 26:05
  Speaker 8: at it.
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: What is that? Yeah?
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: Unclamp, unclamp yourself.
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: Clamp yourself. You have half of an arm. What about?
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: What about when you go to shake the hand of
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: a person whose hand is malformed and you don't realize
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: until you are shaking it. You just have to shake it?
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: Right, It's never happened to me ever.
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: You've never shaken either a stump or a nub.
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: If anything, I would just go for a fist bump,
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: which is worse.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: The problem is you would think you should let them lead.
• 26:48
  Speaker 8: Right, Are you coming across that many people with deformed
• 26:51
  Speaker 8: arms and hands?
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: And yes, it has happened. I have shaken a mess.
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: I don't really know.
• 27:01
  Speaker 8: I did have a guy come to I did have
• 27:04
  Speaker 8: a guy come to.
• 27:04
  Speaker 5: A show that was in a wheelchair.
• 27:08
  Speaker 8: And this was in Ontario, California, and he was very
• 27:13
  Speaker 8: It was very difficult to read that situation.
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: I will admit, what.
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: Did you do? What did you do?
• 27:18
  Speaker 8: I think I tried to shake his hand, but it
• 27:20
  Speaker 8: was a very loose handshake. He shook his mess and
• 27:22
  Speaker 8: then he asked for a photo, and he had a
• 27:24
  Speaker 8: digital camera. You know, you to give it to someone
• 27:30
  Speaker 8: else to take the photo he had.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: You give it to someone else. Yeah, can you take
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: this off my lap and give it to that guy?
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: Exactly. I will say they those people are incredibly good
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: at carrying things the way that we would if we
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: told a person at a grocery store, I don't need
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: any bags, but it was on the border. Yeah, where
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: you're it's all under the arm, and they have that.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: They've got the seat. You just like have everything if
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: you have.
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: They have pockets everywhere. Oh, you think absolutely.
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: I've seen people that don't have fully formed hands, and
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: they're very good at their strength of arm to core
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: sort of pull is because that's their second basically. Yeah,
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: their elbow is their thumb. Yes, that's how they secure things,
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: and they can they could hold like seventeen tennis balls.
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: I think you're given I think you're given too many props. Now.
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: I think you're really giving it up to the wheelchair community.
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: We shouldn't honor them. Well, I mean, no, let's not
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: give them undue credit. You're right, all right, praise them,
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: but I will. No, I don't think that that's good.
• 28:47
  Speaker 8: I don't think that's that impress on. I don't think
• 28:49
  Speaker 8: putting stuff in your lap is that impress.
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: Let's not make it too easy for them.
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: You should see me.
• 28:53
  Speaker 8: I mean right now, I have tons of stuff in
• 28:55
  Speaker 8: my lap, in my pockets.
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you brought a lot of stuff in did Yeah.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: I saw that they would also want the same standards
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: that everybody has if you start up giving them like, oh, yeah,
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: look he's holding something under his wing.
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: Wow, what you got there?
• 29:12
  Speaker 5: Tennis ball?
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Wow, you're really holding that.
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: Good job holding onto that. Yeah.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Sometimes though, when I'm passing someone like that, I'll overlook away.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Like if I'm passing someone who has something, who has
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: a mess all.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: Like ye stare like the ceiling.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll like run into something else because I'm trying
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: so hard not to bring attention to their mess. Right,
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: I'll like walk them into a fucking glass door.
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't really know what else to do.
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: I don't know what you're what the expectation is, but
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: I don't think there Isn't let me let me glaze
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: for one second. People who are disabled in my experience,
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: have the best sense.
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: Which it seems like you have a lot of experience
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: I do.
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: With the disabled. I grew up in a place where
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: people were falling down left and right, lumber accidents, steep hills,
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: you know, major opioids, circular saws. Yes, yes, carpenters that
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: there was a high frequency of mess. Yeah. In fact,
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: we didn't even call our hospital a hospital. We called
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: it a mess.
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: You tried, tried, and I got it out under, I
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: got it going.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: It's like when we play Egyptian Rat Screw. My hand
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: was just rat screw, just under.
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: We seem to have, we seem to live much different lives.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: Egyptian Rats Crew is a great card game. Never even
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: heard of it. I think you'd recog disabled friends, Sure don't.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: You can't tell if part of their mess. It just
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: gets very.
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: Dozens of disabled friends.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: It's like if one tentacle is under a finger, it.
• 30:58
  Speaker 8: Just is this because when you jump, when you jumped
• 31:01
  Speaker 8: off that dock and you hit your head, do they
• 31:02
  Speaker 8: like put you in with the disabled kids in school
• 31:05
  Speaker 8: and then you kind of just grew up with those guys.
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: No, But I think that in that in that moment,
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: I should have become uh disabled, I should have become paralyzed. Yeah,
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: and by the grace of God, I didn't. But I
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: now understand what it's like. Yeah, horrific. I have that experience.
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: I have that life.
• 31:27
  Speaker 8: I think, going back to the original question, I think,
• 31:30
  Speaker 8: like waking up being blind or paralyzed, it's got to
• 31:35
  Speaker 8: be paralyzed every time. What are you saying you'd or
• 31:38
  Speaker 8: wou would rather? You'd rather wake up paralyzed? Yeah, then
• 31:41
  Speaker 8: wake up blind. Imagine waking up and you open your
• 31:43
  Speaker 8: eyes and it's just what do you even do? I
• 31:45
  Speaker 8: was talking about this with my friends because my friend
• 31:47
  Speaker 8: Bo just got Lasik.
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: What you're saying, Like, what if you go blind? It's like,
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: what would you do?
• 31:54
  Speaker 8: Like you wake up, You're like, you're reaching for your phone,
• 31:56
  Speaker 8: you have no idea where it is?
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: Who do you?
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: You just gotta yell?
• 32:00
  Speaker 8: I would just have I'd be in my apartment alone,
• 32:01
  Speaker 8: just yelling. Like at least if I was paralyzed, I'd
• 32:06
  Speaker 8: wake up and I'd.
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: Call my mom. I'd be like, you got to come
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: to New York.
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: What are you talking about? Call your mom? Bring a sponge.
• 32:14
  Speaker 8: Oh I'm still thinking waist down obviously, if it's full body,
• 32:17
  Speaker 8: I'm going blind every time. All right, waiters down, though,
• 32:22
  Speaker 8: Like I'd call, I'd call my mom. I'd shuffle over
• 32:24
  Speaker 8: to the living room. Shuff Yeah, like scooch scooch scooched,
• 32:32
  Speaker 8: I'd army crawl into the living room.
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: You're not on the couch, You're not that, you're absolutely
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: I will I think you're scooching, and.
• 32:39
  Speaker 8: I'd probably order some food that's interesting. Keeping the legs,
• 32:45
  Speaker 8: losing the arms.
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, oh yeah, for sure. By the way, there's
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: an important distinction that needs to be made right now
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: before we go any further in this conversation. Okay, people
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: who are paralyzed, I'm pretty confident live shorter lives. Their
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: organs fail. They there's a major draw.
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, right, Why because they can't like exercise and ship.
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: Being being parallel, not moving, the loss of circulation in
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: your legs, all of this, like your body doesn't function.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: The motion is as well. If you are not moving
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: your legs, I don't think you live as long as
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: you may might shorten your lifespan by a significant margin,
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: whereas people who are blind can live till. In fact,
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: I think all old people are blind.
• 33:33
  Speaker 8: I'm going blind shortens your lifespan too. No, you just
• 33:37
  Speaker 8: see the future when you accidentally, like walk in front
• 33:39
  Speaker 8: of an eighteen wheeler.
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, or you slow down yourselves there and you before
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: you feel with your stick, Oh there's a little bit
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: of a ledge here. Hello. Hello, Could someone take my arm,
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: preferably with an arm that's not a mess, and usher
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: me across the street? Have you ever ushered a blind
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: person across the street and never that would be good
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: for you? Ron knows that I have because he saw
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: me doing it when I didn't even know he was around,
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: which means I did it the way that John Woodn't
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: wants you to do it, which is when no one
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: else is looking.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: I walked up behind Frances and he was he was
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: walking the blind person. But then he was like, wait,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: how far do you have thirty four street? He was like,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: I'll just leave you here.
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: Well, I also could feel that there was no stay
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: here for an hour, there was no pash in his pockets,
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: and at that point it was like, what are we
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: even doing here? He had folded up the bills differently. Yeah.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: The losing your arms thing is like, you can't just
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: be paralyzed at your arms so they would have to
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: be gone.
• 34:40
  Speaker 8: Paralyzed in the arms would be a breeze. I mean
• 34:43
  Speaker 8: you people wouldn't even notice. You could just walk. You
• 34:46
  Speaker 8: could just like walk down the street. It'll be like,
• 34:48
  Speaker 8: woll that guy's a very flamboyant walk.
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: Or it's like cool, look cool.
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: His arms are swinging in the wind.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: You're just relax in your arms fighting a dude while
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: you're paralyzing the arms and just spinning in circles.
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: But these are just for show. It's not even for
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: me to make other people more comfortable. I had the
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: option to remove them. In fact, in fact, these are prosthetics,
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: no no use, but uh.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: But they have the They would show the guys who
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: uh or it was girls actually who had no arms,
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: and they would they be making peanut butter and jelly
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: sandwiches with their feet there, with their feet like climbing
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: up onto it.
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: I would never do any of that ship. That ship's weird.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: What wait, I definitely wouldn't. I want to start to
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: use as your feet.
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: I wouldn't be using my feet as tools.
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: Why not? That's weird. You have to it's free. Then
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: then your only other option is your neck.
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: Is your mouth his neck is your neck.
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: Where you're holding an orange like, I don't know, country
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: fair game.
• 35:51
  Speaker 8: Maybe I would in private. I don't think I would
• 35:52
  Speaker 8: in public like, I don't. I wouldn't want to sit
• 35:54
  Speaker 8: here and be like I got to go. I got
• 35:55
  Speaker 8: an order in uber.
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: But you get my toes out flexible. And I've seen
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: a guy who was able to cast no fishing rod
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: with his feet, and that's something you would pick up.
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he probably sucked at fishing.
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: Not from what I saw I realized in that time.
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: Then my brother, he was an artist and artist.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: You would definitely be on war zone like with the
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: headset of my feet. With your feet, there's no doubt
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: in my mind.
• 36:29
  Speaker 8: I'd probably get that neurolink shit play a war zone
• 36:33
  Speaker 8: with my mind.
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: They had outfitted a car for that person that I knew.
• 36:40
  Speaker 5: Who was it that we could someone that went into
• 36:43
  Speaker 5: an uber.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: A string that was like a gas pedal.
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: Someone someone told me that.
• 36:47
  Speaker 8: They went into an uber and they and their driver
• 36:50
  Speaker 8: had no arms and it was all feet.
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: Was that you?
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: No, we went we ran into didn't we run into?
• 37:00
  Speaker 7: Three?
• 37:01
  Speaker 5: We have three ubers in Austin, Austin.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: The driver was down, Yeah, which should be some kind
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: of reward that should be like yatzi.
• 37:07
  Speaker 8: It was hilarious because three still had like the volume
• 37:11
  Speaker 8: for the Uber directions up and one of the ubers
• 37:13
  Speaker 8: we got in it was at like an excruciatingly loud volume,
• 37:17
  Speaker 8: so like it would be silent and then all of
• 37:19
  Speaker 8: a sudden it would just be like.
• 37:21
  Speaker 5: Take left, like the loudest noise you've ever heard.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a blessing having three straight ones. But
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: I was never in with uh what was it? An
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: unlegged or someone told me that they.
• 37:35
  Speaker 5: I forget who was Maybe it was a lie.
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: You can't have an unarmed Uber driver.
• 37:41
  Speaker 5: I don't think they discriminate at Uber.
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: What are you talking about, someone? How low would your
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: rating have to get for you to think I deserve
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: an armless super.
• 37:53
  Speaker 8: The armless suber drivers getting me from point A to
• 37:55
  Speaker 8: point B. I don't give a ship how he's doing it.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: And it's probably like the comic going on age, Like
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: the audience is way more likely to give a higher
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: rating because they're like, oh, look at that, Yeah he's knee.
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: Driving l D.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that shit is impressive. It is the disarmed, the
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: unarmed folk.
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: I guess we're lucky. I thank God for my fucking arms.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Legs, arms, legs, eyesight, even just having all my fingers.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: I don't think I could like be a nine finger guy.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know how Dion does it.
• 38:30
  Speaker 5: I definitely could you. I mean, get her to the pinkies,
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: be totally fine.
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: What pinkies are essential? This pinky's going, this one's going.
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: It's dead. It's just I've broken it so many times
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: that I don't think it's long for the world exactly.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: So you would just snip it off like Ronnie Lott.
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: I don't know what I would do. It's starting to
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: fold in on itself. It's I'm getting klubby.
• 38:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you're getting I was born with twelve fingers.
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: Getting a little messy.
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: Did you know that?
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: No? I didn't. Yeah, tell us. Let's see the scar.
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: Your scars right here?
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: Why didn't you keep them?
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: And here.
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: You're making this up.
• 39:16
  Speaker 5: I swear to.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: God, there was an old Phillies picture who had six
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: fingers on each hand and six fingers six toes on
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: each foot.
• 39:24
  Speaker 5: You can feel the bump if you want.
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: I don't want to touch it.
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: I don't want to feel it right here?
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: Okay, Now I want to feel it, ew, give give me,
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: give me.
• 39:34
  Speaker 5: That. Well, you gotta feel it's right here.
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: It's like a wart. Oh yeah, there's a little scar
• 39:40
  Speaker 4: tissue there is that? What that is probably scar tissue?
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: Probably is that humans evolving or fingers?
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: Huh?
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: Like I were just little nubs with fingernails on him.
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: Ew when friends have babies and you say how did
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: it go, and they say great, ten fingers, ten toes.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: He it was like, well the Phillies picture wore number
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: twenty four because he had.
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: Four extra is that right?
• 40:03
  Speaker 10: Yeah?
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: And he Antonio alfonseka.
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: And he made it work. It didn't matter.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: Imagine functional fingers, yes, and imagine how good of them?
• 40:10
  Speaker 8: Oh, yours were just mine were Literally they were just
• 40:13
  Speaker 8: nubs with fingernails.
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: You definitely could have crushed on war zone with a fucking.
• 40:17
  Speaker 5: Oh I had an extra finger.
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: You got to get rid of those.
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they got rid of them instantly.
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: Those are not good.
• 40:22
  Speaker 5: It's not that uncommon.
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: It's pretty weird. Yeah. I can see what you're saying now,
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: and I get it. I was gonna say that seemed
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: shortsighted to have them removed, but just half formed. They
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: were sort of kind of sprouts, Yes, that never really Yeah, blossomed.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I say one in one thousand to ten thousand newborns.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: That's a broad range.
• 40:43
  Speaker 5: Not as common as I imagined.
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: It to be, No, but not not uncommon. One in
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: one thousand's not crazy at all.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, you're called a polydactyl.
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's pretty good.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: A polydac po Yeah, you're poly.
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: Do you have that?
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: Do you have your your pinkies are in a jar,
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: just pickled your pickled pinkies.
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're saving them for a cocktail.
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 41:10
  Speaker 4: Put him on the edge of a cocktail.
• 41:11
  Speaker 5: Sometimes I like to strap him back on, like Forrest.
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: Gump could have been.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: I was typing, imagine how fast you could type with
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: six or how could you be a piano?
• 41:29
  Speaker 5: Piano would be unbelievably good.
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: Rockmanino famously, who's one of the great composers ever. They
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: said that part of what made him so good at
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: the piano was that his hands were just fucking gigantic.
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: So he's kind all these like crazy you know, tenths
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: and elevens where he's able to split his fingers across
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: amount of notes that most penis can't make.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: I've seen stretches that penis do and the penis stretches
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: are insane.
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah. This, and then there was one. There was one
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: famous composer who ruined his hands by trying. He would
• 42:04
  Speaker 4: like string weights to them to try to make them
• 42:09
  Speaker 4: bigger the spread, and it crippled his hand and he
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: had to stop playing. Well, I've heard of there's like
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: penis enlargement surgeries that you can get. I have seen
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: ads for those. I have, but you have to go
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: to weird countries and it's never covered.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Miami's yeah, doctor, doctor, Miami, get better, be a better penis.
• 42:32
  Speaker 8: I'm trying to get better at pianists, pianist. I want
• 42:36
  Speaker 8: to I want my hands to stretch longer around my piano.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Piano Saz, you're you are a lowki good penis though, right.
• 42:46
  Speaker 5: I used to dabble eight years, Yeah, eight years?
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: Did you not know this about him? No, you guys
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: should play across.
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: I can play, I can play for the lease nice. Yeah, yes,
• 42:57
  Speaker 5: I was.
• 42:57
  Speaker 8: Actually I have a photo of me performing at Barnes
• 43:00
  Speaker 8: and Noble as a youth the fu Yeah, I was
• 43:03
  Speaker 8: just looking at this.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: I love a photo of music. Nothing really captures music
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: like a still photograph.
• 43:11
  Speaker 5: Here I am at Barnes and Noble.
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: Wow, that's where you had your recitals.
• 43:18
  Speaker 13: One recital ours were in sort of concert halls there,
• 43:21
  Speaker 13: I am. That was Yeah, what a good boy. God damn,
• 43:27
  Speaker 13: because they make you, they make you have your posture.
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: Remember that? What happened then? Since then? I don't know
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: she gets so nervous for you know.
• 43:36
  Speaker 8: I was thinking about that because I don't remember getting
• 43:38
  Speaker 8: that nervous, which I'm surprised by because now I would
• 43:40
  Speaker 8: be shipping my pants.
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: It was so terrifying, so terrifying.
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: I never gotten I did. I had to do a
• 43:46
  Speaker 5: duet with my teacher.
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: Your fingers would get.
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: Sweaty and my hands would be would they would be slippery? Yeah?
• 43:54
  Speaker 4: Have you ever miss Did you ever hit an errant? Note? Mistakes?
• 43:58
  Speaker 5: I never fucked that.
• 43:59
  Speaker 4: One time I was playing Cruella de Ville and I
• 44:02
  Speaker 4: started too fast. Luckily I knew it dead to right,
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: so I could keep the pace the whole time. You
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: just played fast. My teacher after said that, she turned
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: to another teacher and said, oh, no, he's gone. He's
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: not easy. He can't slow down.
• 44:23
  Speaker 8: Did you have to memorize the songs? Some for some
• 44:26
  Speaker 8: of mine? That one I don't think. I don't think
• 44:28
  Speaker 8: Barnes and Noble. I had to.
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: Most of the time. I did. But I got to
• 44:32
  Speaker 4: a point where there'd be long songs, long classical songs,
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: and then you have a page turner come up and
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: just as you were getting ready to go, yeah, and
• 44:39
  Speaker 4: then they would turn the page.
• 44:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: You know that if your if your teacher was trying
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: to do a duet with you, you were being.
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: Groomed, right, No, I don't think so.
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's exactly what was going on.
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: That teacher was the real deal. I was in fifth grade.
• 44:54
  Speaker 8: She was this old Asian lady and she made me
• 44:56
  Speaker 8: do flash cards with random notes on them.
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: Oh, you did theory that it's good.
• 45:00
  Speaker 8: Yeah, And then I took another So I took piano
• 45:03
  Speaker 8: with my first teacher, who was just like go to
• 45:06
  Speaker 8: her house.
• 45:07
  Speaker 5: That was when I was really young, and that sucked.
• 45:09
  Speaker 5: That was just playing like Mary had a little lamb
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: and shit and silent Night.
• 45:12
  Speaker 8: And then and then I stopped, and then I went
• 45:15
  Speaker 8: back to a new teacher at like an actual music thing,
• 45:19
  Speaker 8: and that was that old Asian lady, and that was hardcore.
• 45:21
  Speaker 8: That was an hour long class and that was like flashcards.
• 45:24
  Speaker 8: That was the one I did the duet with and
• 45:27
  Speaker 8: then I stopped. And then in high school I went
• 45:29
  Speaker 8: to a music theory teacher.
• 45:32
  Speaker 4: You played piano through high school?
• 45:34
  Speaker 5: No, I stopped in ninth grade, put down the keys forever.
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: And you know music theory now.
• 45:41
  Speaker 5: Not really. It was really hard that that I didn't like.
• 45:45
  Speaker 5: I never liked that.
• 45:46
  Speaker 8: The teacher was cool, but I mean, you try to
• 45:48
  Speaker 8: make me like sing, you try to make me like
• 45:51
  Speaker 8: match the tone of the key of the notes. I
• 45:54
  Speaker 8: center C dude, I don't know what I was like.
• 45:56
  Speaker 8: I don't know what I'm doing.
• 45:59
  Speaker 4: Is that it it? I think that's it? Uh no, no, no, no, no,
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: no no no, I think that's center.
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: Mommy makes me a munch of mym and ms yummy.
• 46:09
  Speaker 4: Mommy made me much hurt, little bob. Now.
• 46:13
  Speaker 8: But I I didn't like that because I just wanted
• 46:15
  Speaker 8: to learn how to I just wanted to learn chords.
• 46:16
  Speaker 8: And then I just went home and I learned the
• 46:18
  Speaker 8: jazz chords. And that's all I really wanted to know.
• 46:21
  Speaker 8: I wanted to be able to jam.
• 46:22
  Speaker 4: You wanted to be a jazzy jammer.
• 46:24
  Speaker 5: I just wanted to jam.
• 46:25
  Speaker 4: You wanted to have a piano skill that matched your Fedora.
• 46:28
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I didn't want to fucking I didn't want to
• 46:30
  Speaker 8: learn how to play like long, like box songs and ship.
• 46:38
  Speaker 4: That's pretty impressive. No, you've you corrected me. You had
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: g I make that mistakes sometimes. Let's see right there,
• 46:45
  Speaker 4: we had it dead to rights. Dum yeahn perfect, pitch boys.
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: Guys will take a second to talk about game time
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  Speaker 1: game time? Did you know that you can get tickets
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• 46:59
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  Speaker 8: This show is sponsored by Better Help. It can be
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  Speaker 4: Alrighty, let's talk about rocket money.
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  Speaker 8: My music teacher was a little nuts though. He told
• 51:39
  Speaker 8: us that he learned piano or he learned music theory
• 51:43
  Speaker 8: from Who's the super Famous Jazz music? And he died
• 51:47
  Speaker 8: in nineteen fifty five.
• 51:49
  Speaker 4: Hold Charlie Chadwin, No, Charlie Charlie Bird Bird.
• 51:53
  Speaker 8: No, but it's Charles Charlie something Parker, Charlie Parker.
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: That's bird.
• 52:00
  Speaker 8: Okay, Yeah, oh, I didn't never I've never heard anyone
• 52:03
  Speaker 8: call him bird. But he said that he learned right.
• 52:07
  Speaker 8: He said that he learned music from Charlie Parker.
• 52:10
  Speaker 4: And Charlie Parker wasn't a pianist, was he.
• 52:12
  Speaker 8: He learned a music theory from Charlie Parker and he
• 52:16
  Speaker 8: was like and then he went on to die of
• 52:17
  Speaker 8: a heroin overdosag and I was like, oh.
• 52:19
  Speaker 5: I was like, this is nuts. I'm learning from someone.
• 52:22
  Speaker 8: And then I looked it up and I was like, dude,
• 52:23
  Speaker 8: he died in nineteen fifty five. You would have to
• 52:26
  Speaker 8: be eighty years and this guy was like forty. I
• 52:29
  Speaker 8: was like, no, you didn't, and then he was like
• 52:31
  Speaker 8: it was a different Charlie Parker.
• 52:35
  Speaker 5: But then I don't think I ever went back to
• 52:36
  Speaker 5: him after that because it was like, really weird.
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a crazy thing to lie to a kid about.
• 52:42
  Speaker 8: I don't think he was lying, but I think it was, like, dude, obviously,
• 52:44
  Speaker 8: when you say Charlie Parker, I'm thinking of one Charlie Parker,
• 52:47
  Speaker 8: not like your friend Charlie.
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: Why would you say his last name? That's like, yeah,
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: I learned how to throw a football from Tom Brady.
• 52:54
  Speaker 8: It was very weird, and I know I wasn't making
• 52:55
  Speaker 8: up because my mom would come in to pick me
• 52:57
  Speaker 8: up and like He would tell me and my mom
• 52:59
  Speaker 8: theories about like hanging out with Charlie Parker in like
• 53:03
  Speaker 8: Canada and all this shit, and we were like, that's crazy,
• 53:06
  Speaker 8: and we went home. We told my dad and my
• 53:07
  Speaker 8: dad was like, that's not true. My dad was like,
• 53:10
  Speaker 8: I didn't me and my mom didn't know how old
• 53:13
  Speaker 8: Charlie Parker was. Instantly my dad was like, yeah, that
• 53:15
  Speaker 8: didn't happen.
• 53:16
  Speaker 4: Right. Do you remember the newmonic for the notes on
• 53:22
  Speaker 4: the scale?
• 53:23
  Speaker 5: I don't even know what that means? Was the newmonic?
• 53:26
  Speaker 4: You know? Did you ever have a way of remembering
• 53:30
  Speaker 4: a certain.
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: Like Huron Ontario, Michigan, Eerie Superior?
• 53:38
  Speaker 5: No, I don't know what. I still don't know what
• 53:40
  Speaker 5: you're asking me? So okay, the are you asking if
• 53:43
  Speaker 5: I can read music? The treble clef right? Yeah, considered
• 53:46
  Speaker 5: the right hand typically in the piano. The space notes
• 53:52
  Speaker 5: I think was GB D f A.
• 53:59
  Speaker 4: Okay, good boys don't fuck ask, Good boys don't fuck ask? Yeah,
• 54:05
  Speaker 4: and then the lined notes were E G.
• 54:10
  Speaker 10: B d A.
• 54:13
  Speaker 4: Every good boy does as Is that right? Am I
• 54:16
  Speaker 4: getting that wrong? Good boys don't something like that? Yeah,
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: That's how I learned it. No, excuse me on the
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: right hand the face notes face it's face F A C. Yeah, yeah,
• 54:30
  Speaker 4: that's it. And then every every good boy does fine.
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: Was was the right hand and then the left. It
• 54:36
  Speaker 4: was all good boys.
• 54:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah. I never learned. I just learned how to read music, So.
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: You didn't have any sort of way of remembering.
• 54:42
  Speaker 5: Now that that's why I did the flash cards.
• 54:46
  Speaker 4: Me. I could kind of just play. It should have
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: made sense.
• 54:52
  Speaker 5: Oh man, you could hear the music.
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's too bad. I thought maybe you had a
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: fun thing.
• 54:59
  Speaker 5: Now I just knew to play.
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: You kind of had an Asian upbringing. Very you were
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: like a tiger mom.
• 55:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah exactly. They were just trying to find anything that
• 55:08
  Speaker 5: I was good at, and it was not I it
• 55:09
  Speaker 5: was landing.
• 55:12
  Speaker 4: Have they acknowledged that you're good at comedy? Are they
• 55:14
  Speaker 4: aware of your ability? No?
• 55:16
  Speaker 5: I think they're just like, when are you going.
• 55:18
  Speaker 4: To stop wasting your life and get back to piano? Harry?
• 55:20
  Speaker 5: Well, my dad saw me in Boston and he enjoyed it.
• 55:24
  Speaker 5: But I don't think they think. I'm like, what about
• 55:27
  Speaker 5: your what about your social media prowess? When when you
• 55:31
  Speaker 5: were blowing up on Twitter? Did your parents have any
• 55:34
  Speaker 5: knowledge of that?
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 55:36
  Speaker 8: Well, they knew when I got I got posted on BuzzFeed.
• 55:39
  Speaker 8: That was a big deal in the house.
• 55:41
  Speaker 5: Really, Yeah, did you show them or they saw it?
• 55:43
  Speaker 5: I showed them.
• 55:44
  Speaker 4: What was what was you? What did you get on there?
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: Uh?
• 55:47
  Speaker 5: Well, a tweet of mine was on BuzzFeed?
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: Do you remember what it was?
• 55:52
  Speaker 10: Yeah?
• 55:52
  Speaker 5: It was a hot dog meme that you made.
• 55:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you were making memes.
• 55:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, oh cool. It was a meme of that what
• 56:01
  Speaker 5: was it?
• 56:01
  Speaker 8: On snapchat? The hot dog and I like put him
• 56:05
  Speaker 8: in on an old fine thing.
• 56:08
  Speaker 5: I don't know what it was.
• 56:09
  Speaker 8: It was stupid, but it got like a hundred thousand
• 56:10
  Speaker 8: likes and they put it on BuzzFeed and it was like,
• 56:13
  Speaker 8: this hot dog meme is slamming the earth right now
• 56:16
  Speaker 8: or some dumb shit. Twenty hot dog memes to wake
• 56:20
  Speaker 8: to start your Monday morning on.
• 56:22
  Speaker 4: Your study is all paying off? Yeah, I've been walking.
• 56:28
  Speaker 5: And mine was featured in it.
• 56:30
  Speaker 4: How about you being in Rolling Stone or on the
• 56:32
  Speaker 4: Rolling Stone?
• 56:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 56:34
  Speaker 4: That shit.
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: You're now You're like an actual meme yourself.
• 56:37
  Speaker 8: You're not even like, yeah, which is so weird that
• 56:40
  Speaker 8: that don't I don't even think that doesn't even really matter,
• 56:45
  Speaker 8: because then you get to a point. You're like, oh,
• 56:46
  Speaker 8: being on BuzzFeed didn't do anything.
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: For me whatever. I mean, it validated. It was a
• 56:52
  Speaker 4: point of validation with your parents. I think that's a
• 56:55
  Speaker 4: major thing.
• 56:56
  Speaker 5: No, I don't think my parents actually gave a fuck.
• 56:59
  Speaker 4: That's cool.
• 57:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they were like, that's cool. So I was like,
• 57:02
  Speaker 5: they gave a fuck?
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: What about your follower account? Were you updating them on that? Mom? Dad?
• 57:06
  Speaker 4: I have one hundred and fifty thousand followers on Twitter,
• 57:09
  Speaker 4: I have five hundred thousand. Well, Havar cost four hundred thousand.
• 57:15
  Speaker 8: No, I don't think they I think, Yeah, I guess.
• 57:17
  Speaker 8: I don't think they really cared until I got hired
• 57:20
  Speaker 8: at barstool. Oh but I don't think I really cared
• 57:24
  Speaker 8: until I got.
• 57:24
  Speaker 5: Hired at barstool. Like I never thought it was gonna
• 57:26
  Speaker 5: be like a career.
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I definitely like the idea of you have
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: an Asian parents.
• 57:33
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it makes it way funnier.
• 57:36
  Speaker 5: No, they're not Asian, I know.
• 57:42
  Speaker 4: Nah, it would be cool if they were, though, that
• 57:44
  Speaker 4: would be love if they were. Yeah.
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: I just rewatched Parisite the other night, and honestly, it
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: gave me a spook.
• 57:49
  Speaker 4: I watched it before bed. It gave me a fright.
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: I wasn't scared of the first like eight times I
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: watched it. But that's such a good How did.
• 57:56
  Speaker 5: You watch those four bed?
• 57:57
  Speaker 4: The guy Lives under the House is spooky, yes, spooky, But.
• 58:01
  Speaker 8: I don't understand how was that a movie that you like, like,
• 58:03
  Speaker 8: I would fall asleep if I was gonna watch that
• 58:05
  Speaker 8: movie before bett fall asleep instantly.
• 58:07
  Speaker 5: Well, it's gonna read that whole movie.
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: That's what keeps it engaging. And I also kind of
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: know what's coming and happening.
• 58:12
  Speaker 4: I know it's good.
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know that it's exciting, but I don't
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: know it's so well like they're still But it was
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: the scariest that I ever watched it.
• 58:21
  Speaker 4: I watched this documentary called What Jennifer Did?
• 58:24
  Speaker 5: I think, Oh I think I might have seen that.
• 58:28
  Speaker 4: I'll just give it away, fuck it spoiler. I'm not
• 58:31
  Speaker 4: watching it. I don't think it's really that worth watching.
• 58:33
  Speaker 4: Wasn't it wasn't dynamite?
• 58:35
  Speaker 10: What did she do?
• 58:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah? She's this, uh, perfectly on brand for this episode,
• 58:40
  Speaker 4: this sort of very studious Asian girl. Her parents are
• 58:47
  Speaker 4: direct immigrants from Vietnam. They moved to Canada and do
• 58:51
  Speaker 4: pretty well. And she's a prodigy at the piano and
• 58:57
  Speaker 4: wants to date this bad boy who is a drug dealer,
• 59:01
  Speaker 4: and her parents don't approve, and her dad says, you
• 59:05
  Speaker 4: can date him when I die. She sets up the
• 59:10
  Speaker 4: murder of her parents.
• 59:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I did see that. She like stages a robbery.
• 59:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and like blames it on three random black guys
• 59:17
  Speaker 4: with dread box.
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 59:18
  Speaker 5: You know what's weird is actually I watched that before
• 59:21
  Speaker 5: it was on Netflix.
• 59:22
  Speaker 8: It was KB used to watch that YouTube channel where
• 59:25
  Speaker 8: they would show like interrogations. Oh and they like analyze
• 59:28
  Speaker 8: it and show when they're like breaking down how you
• 59:30
  Speaker 8: know they're lying. Yeah, it was like an hour long
• 59:32
  Speaker 8: thing and I watched that.
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: Well, the most interesting thing about this to me was
• 59:35
  Speaker 4: that apparently in Canada, and I don't know if this
• 59:37
  Speaker 4: is not true in America, but at least in Canada,
• 59:39
  Speaker 4: they made the point that detectives and police officers in
• 59:43
  Speaker 4: interrogations do not have to tell the truth, that they
• 59:47
  Speaker 4: can just make shit out. They'll be like, yeah, in
• 59:49
  Speaker 4: the other room, they just told us you did it,
• 59:50
  Speaker 4: so you might as well tell us. Yeah, yeah, he
• 59:53
  Speaker 4: can make stuff up, and he made up this thing
• 59:56
  Speaker 4: to her where he said, we have satellite imaging that
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 4: shows an X ray picture of what was going on
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 4: in your house during this break in that you allege
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: happened where you said you were tied up, and we
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 4: can see that you were moving about freely, and so
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 4: I know you're lying to me, and then she caves.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 4: I guess there's one stipulation that I guess. It's like,
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 4: you can't. I don't know. I had something to do
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 4: with the country, but I thought that was how could it?
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 4: How could a kid ever if a police officers telling
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 4: you in interrogating you, they're like, yeah, your own mother
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 4: just told us that you killed that person. How could
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 4: you know?
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 5: Mom?
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 5: How are you ever got away with it?
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: Mom? Have you ever not become clean on that?
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 7: You know?
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 4: That is crazy?
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 5: I guess. I mean, I'm not I don't know if
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 5: I'm against that right.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: But you can I mean it can lead to false confessions.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I guess if you're dumb, facts like if they
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 8: were like your mom said you killed them and you
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 8: didn't kill them, you'd be like, well I didn't. But
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 8: if you were like if they're like your mom said
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 8: you killed them and you did you'd be like, fuck, yeah,
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 8: I did.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I think we always think about ourselves right now,
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 4: getting interrogated. We put ourselves in that position. But if
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 4: I was a kid and some police I'm at the
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 4: police office, yeah, and some guy is like the police office,
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 4: I'm confessing to anything, I'm Brendan Dacy would look like
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 4: fucking Elon Musk compared to me.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, some of the kids, it's crazy how well put
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: together they are, how like unflappable, like how they keep
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: a lie.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 4: Going once they've killed somebody and they're a kid.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 5: Really, I always thought the kid the kids usually fold
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 5: pretty easily. There are some like breakdown.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 4: This girl might have gotten away with this if she
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 4: was crazy, didn't wake up from the coma he was in, Yeah,
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 4: being shot in the face, and be like like, oh,
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 4: she's been saying she was tied up. That's funny because
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 4: she was walking around with these guys who shot me.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's she. I don't even think she handled it
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 5: port like she handled it better.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 4: Handled it, Like she called the cops.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 5: She lied well, yeah, she lied well, she did lie well. Yeah,
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 5: and then she went into the interrogation and like kept
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 5: up her whole story.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 4: Because they were. They had an issue with the fact
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 4: that she said she was bound to the railing, and
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 4: how did she access her phone if her hands were
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 4: tied to call them? And then how was she so
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 4: clear on the phone if her phone was down here
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 4: and she was yelling at Yeah, and she had an
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 4: answer for everything. So you can tell that she would
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 4: have been quite in the piano. Yeah, she was on
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 4: her way to the scholarship. She was on her way
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 4: to greatness. I say that she had apparently not done
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 4: well in college. No, she was. She was spending all
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 4: her time on murder.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 5: Well, no, she was spending time.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 4: Drug drugsessed with him, and he was dating another girl. Yet, obviously,
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 4: what if she goes, she goes, do you love me?
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 4: And he goes, I don't know how to say this.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 4: I feel the way that I feel the way that
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 4: you feel about me. I feel about her, which I
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 4: thought was oh yeah.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 5: It also to say to a known killer, well, she
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 5: didn't kill anybody. Her boyfriend killed them.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but they were broken up. She was obsessed with him,
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 4: and then she hired him to come kill her parents.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 5: So imagine what he would have done for the other girl.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, he do it on the arm. Yeah,
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 4: he got the parents, he would. He got buddies to
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 4: come do it. And one of the buddies' names was Homeboy,
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 4: his Christian name. And the girl was like, call it off,
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 4: and she was. He was like, I'm not doing that.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 4: Homeboys all set up.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: He's coming to homeboys doing this for the love. Yeah,
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: homeboys not even getting paid.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 5: Homeboys en route right now.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 4: I told Homeboy he could kill They all got life
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 4: in prison without no parole for twenty five years. It's
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 4: a long time to not play the piano. Yeah.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: But in Canada, in Canadian prisoners, he'll have trophy, I
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: can tell you that much. They probably have tiered organs
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: in every prison, probably have a baby grand in the
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: prison main foyer.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 4: You're not wrong. You're not wrong.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: Foyer is in their prison in Canada. They have an
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: atrium in the prison in Canada.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 4: Dude, How funny is it? In Canada they're so proud
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 4: of their French heritage that even on a stop sign
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 4: they will right stop and then ah it beneath it.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 4: And in France the stop signs only say stop.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: That's so crazy.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 4: The French take their French less seriously than Canada takes
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 4: its bilingual.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: That being said, though, I went over a bridge on
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: the way here from LaGuardia and there was there were
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: like billboards that are entirely in Spanish, like for a
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: radio show where in New York City, we're gonna have
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: to put a stop. We're going to have to tear those.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: That's just we're gonna have to at least draw a
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: mustache on the female co host's face or something like that.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we cannot just let that stand. I don't
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 4: mind the French. I mean, the French paraphernalia is fine.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 4: They're not stealing our jobs.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: Does the French start coming over the Canadian border, then
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: maybe we have something to worry about.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, oh oh, you're going to take my job with
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 4: your thirty five hour work week demand?
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 5: Is that what the French do? They only work thirty
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 5: five hours?
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 4: It might not even be that anymore. They keep getting
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 4: it less and less.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 5: You should go over there, Yeah, that would be awesome.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 4: You could be totally appair, be the king of the French,
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 4: get two weeks before anyone found out. Plus it'd be
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 4: covered your chair and all that treatment would be covered
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 4: by the country.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: And you start stepping your schools teacher become president Your
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: school teacher who's also a man.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 4: Secretly.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: Have you heard this about mccron's wife. No, people think
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: she's a man.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 4: She's quite older than he. Correct Yes, or am I
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 4: mixing that up with the previous person? No? No, that's him.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 4: She was his school teacher, and that's right.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: And allegedly she started banging him when he was like
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: fourteen and made to hide it until they were like
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: he was fifteen or sixteen or whatever.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 5: There happening to you guys? Ever have a teacher who
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 5: like married a student like a year after they graduated.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 4: No, I don't think. I don't think I had that happen. Really. Yeah,
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 4: see you had that going on, and I just had
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 4: a whole bunch of paralyzed people.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 8: We had a guy, We had a teacher who married
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 8: a girl who graduated like she. I think she had
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 8: just read a girl he was four years ago. He
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 8: was a gym teacher. Yeah, but not the one that
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 8: was raping the kids. That was a different one.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 4: This guy was consentually having sex with you know what's
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 4: not raping them.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 13: Yeah.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 8: You know what's funny is we had three gym teachers.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 8: One of them was a pedophile rapist.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 4: I don't think we've made it one full episode without
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 4: getting to pedophilia. No, and it is actually we've ever
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 4: gone a full episode. This is funny. I joined the
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 4: bod without at least saying Fox Kids one time.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 8: But this is this is I'm just realizing this for
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 8: the first time that we had we had one gym
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 8: teacher who was fucking kids.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 5: We had one gym teacher who.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 8: Married a kid like two or maybe four years after
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 8: they graduated. And then we had one gym teacher who
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 8: was old and he would make like dumb blonde jokes,
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 8: and he was the one that would be getting in
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 8: tons of trouble constantly for.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 4: The Dumbo for the dumb blonde jokes.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 8: He'd be like, they're telling me I can't make the
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 8: dumb blonde jokes anymore. And he was the one that
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 8: all the parents were like, that guy's fucked up. He's
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 8: making these nasty jokes. Meanwhile the other two are straight
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 8: up fucking the students, but no one cares.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 5: Isn't that crazy.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: Because only one kid is being threatened when when they're
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: fucking the students. Yeah, and if you're making dumb blonde jokes.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's probably twenty five percent of the classest blonde.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he would get in so much trouble. He would
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 5: always come and well, they're not happy with me.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 4: Again. He should have just been fucking the kids.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, could have saved himself a lot of
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: trouble if he just fuck the kids.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: Really, you just have to become like a white Christian
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: rapper if you're a gym teacher. That's the only salvation.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 4: Honestly.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 5: Like Token Token came up on my Instagram yesterday and
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 5: he was getting.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 4: Because he's like all his raps are about his dad's dad.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he was getting ripped.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: The He has the one rap he's posted like twenty
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: times where he's like, Dad, I was fucking the girl
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: at your funeral.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 8: Yeah he's like, he's like, I brought a girl to
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 8: your funeral. She was wearing a tight dress. I wanted
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 8: to fuck her in the bathroom, but mom was there
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 8: and I was in.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 5: All the comments are like this ship hits on mute.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: I can't believe that he's I can't believe that he's
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: saying that in a rap song. Yeah it's not because
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: that's not like a trauma that you like have to
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: get out or something like that. That's like, uh, you're
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: talking about like a fleeting fantasy that you had. Yeah,
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: it's also just so uh. I guess he's trying to
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: disrespect it. I think he's like his point is like, Daddy,
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: you weren't there for me type of thing.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 8: Yeah, but like you never hear Drizzy rapping about that
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 8: ship ever, because that everyone should be taking notes from
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 8: Drake right now, Drake's on like a kill streak.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Literally Melee, Yeah, Melee.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 5: I've listened to push ups like seven hundred times.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 4: Same.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: How about the Japan line at the beginning being about
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: futures assistant.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, oh see, this is why I I don't I
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 4: cannot keep up with it. But I didn't I that
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 4: at first.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: And then there's just a picture of his assistant called
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: Tokyo or something.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you gotta you gotta watch these like forty five
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 5: minute I'm big in Yeah, and he's saying I had
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 5: sex with your assistant.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm in Tokyo because I'm big in Japan. Even
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 4: the rhythm of that, it doesn't it feels disjointed, but
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 4: it's he.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: Must have been saying something. It was my point because
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: the rhythm, so no, I think that it's just he's
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: forcing it in there, so it has to mean something.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 5: It does. Yeah, I heard a bunch of I read
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 5: a bunch of shit that it meant.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 4: But we gotta go to you know where we gotta
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 4: go is genius, right, genius dot com?
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but genius is is it's broken down by fans.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 4: That's fine, So a lot of.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 5: It is not accurate.
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 8: Like you'll go to a click on like any song
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 8: and they'll break it down and they'll just be like,
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 8: well that, I mean, you just broke down the lyrics.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 4: But isn't there enough of a crowd fan base that
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 4: much like Wikipedia, it almost self regulates to the actual truth.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah, there's some good what are they?
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 4: What are the what do they call menotation?
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 5: And it's yeah, annotation. There's some good ones, but a
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 5: lot of them are pretty dogshit.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 4: So where are you finding all this out?
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 5: YouTube? You gotta find like a nerdy white dude who
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 5: has a six hour video on Drick's new song alright,
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 5: and he'll break down every word of the entire song.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 1: And it's hilarious that we started off the episode by
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: being like, these girls are reacting too much to Taylor Swift.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, watching a six hour video being like Drizzy
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: said what?
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 5: And then he made that AI song, which I don't
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 5: know how I felt about.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 4: Loved it.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 5: It was good. His verse was great they made.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 4: We were on the plane back from Rough and Rowdy
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 4: and Dave was like, explain.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 13: This to me.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: I was like, you could just make AI songs and
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: she's like, so I can make like an AI song
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: using Kanye's voice And I was like, yeah, He's like,
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna make an AI song with Kanye's voice where
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: Kanye this is Kanye.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 5: Oh see, that's why. That's why they pay him the
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 5: big bucks. That's why he's got that's why he's worth five.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 8: Hundred million dollars. You don't come up with ideas. The
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 8: average person doesn't have it.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 4: We could never think of some shiit like that.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: No Kanye dissing Kanye.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 4: In Dave's like vernacular or something like that.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 8: I'd love to hear a day of written Kanye West
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 8: song about Kanye West.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 4: You came with a blue bandana.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: What you're doing is actually bananas.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 4: Oh, this is what I read about today. There was
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 4: a median in Australia. But he's an American comic Arge Barker.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 5: Okay, I'm familiar.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 4: His parents fucked him with that name, Arge Barker. Arge Barker.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: What type of cartoon ass name is that paper cartoon character? Yeah,
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: family circus ass name.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 4: Arge Barker. It's gotta be short for Argin even worse. Yeah,
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 4: Argin's not better. But it also in the comedy world,
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 4: Barker is somebody who stands on the street corner and says,
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 4: free comedy show, and you get three minutes a time.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 4: If you can get ten people in, you stand out
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 4: there for hours. So it's like saying, you know, Sam
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 4: open micer, that sounds like a slur. Yeah. But he
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 4: kicked a woman out of his theater show because she
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 4: was breastfeeding in the audience.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 5: I actually just saw this.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and he was getting two horny on stage. He
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 4: had a funny joke too.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 4: He goes, I actually speak baby, and your baby's saying
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 4: let's go out side because the baby was like making noise.
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah I am. I've never been more on the comedian side.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah. And then the woman made people disagreeing with him
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 5: just blew up as a viral story.
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 4: Why does he give a fuck.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 5: If there's a baby.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: If there's a baby being breastfed, baby's making noise, a
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: suckling noise, Well probably that.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 4: So it sounds like there's a brook running down the
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 4: middle of Aisle seven, which is nice.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 5: Why would you bring your newborn baby to a comedy show.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 4: It's a fifteen plus comedy show as well on the ticket,
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 4: So he was pissed at the venue fifteen months he's
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 4: pissed at the venue staff for letting a baby. Every
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 4: comedy club has a two drink minimum, so it's a bar.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 4: You can't bring Yeah, you can't bring babies. I once
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 4: was with a friend who had just had a baby.
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 4: We were all out and at a five pm show
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 4: at the Comic Strip and my friends were all like,
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 4: let's go, let's go, and they were like, can we
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 4: bring our baby? And I was like, I don't know, maybe,
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 4: and we went and we got up there and they
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 4: were like, are you out of your fucking mind? We're
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 4: a bar?
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: No, is he So did he get a did he
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: do like a CrowdWork thing and put it on TikTok?
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: Is he milking it for clips?
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 10: I did.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 4: But the woman. The woman went on like news stations
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 4: and like it's divided the country. Oh, new mothers have
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 4: it hard enough and great, you know, integrating back into society.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 4: And this is her one night out of the week
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 4: and she and she's gone to see a comedy show
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 4: and you're gonna kick her out of the show. And
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 4: then the other people were, like, seven hundred other people
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 4: paid for tickets here, Why are you bringing your baby
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 4: and disrupting us?
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 8: Also, why are you also why are you breastfeeding your
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 8: baby in the middle of the show.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm i gonna tell women where they cannot and
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 4: cannot breastfeed. I'm not gonna die.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 5: I will, and it shouldn't be in the middle of
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 5: a show.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 4: My issue is not with the breastfeeding. It's with the
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 4: fact that there's a baby there.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 5: My issue is with the breastfeeding.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 4: Really yeah, I've gotten into it lately. Dude.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 8: Imagine being at a comedy show and looking over and
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 8: some lady just just feeding her child with her breast.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 4: Once you look enough times, it doesn't weird you out anymore.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: Imagine if dads had to feed their baby through their dick. Yeah,
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: mm hmm, Like you're you're whipping out your private part.
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, i'd step up. That would be so such a
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 4: good father. He's such a brave father.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 8: I would That would be so hard to pay attention
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 8: to the show. If there's just some lady breastfeeding next
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 8: to you mm hmm, then you go, oh, great, I
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 8: just missed the U haul bit.
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 5: Great and he already did U haul.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 4: This sounds like, wait, so why is he moving into
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 4: the apartment? He's what how the couch fits where?
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 5: I had a great I actually because I had a
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 5: great uh. Actually, maybe I won't say this because then
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 5: it'll be kind. I know, no one won't give a fuck.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 10: But I was doing so.
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 8: I was a Brunswick on Saturday and I had two
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 8: shows and at the late show, I was a great show.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 8: So it was were awesome, And like halfway through the
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 8: late show there was a dude who was like, do
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 8: the uh do the joke you stole from Amy Schumer?
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 8: And I like laughed and then it kind of just
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 8: went silent, and then I was like, yeah, you can't
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 8: do I was like, you can't be making deeply referenced
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 8: podcast jokes in a room where none of these people
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 8: even know who I am. I was like, they paid
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 8: to just go see a random comedy show. They're not
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 8: here and now, and now they all think that I'm
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 8: stealing jokes from.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 4: If you say that, that's funny. If you go my
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 4: friend put it out there that I.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 2: Did.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 4: People laugh.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they loved it.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 8: But I was like, yeah, but it was funny because
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 8: I was like like, like he said it, and in
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 8: my head, I was like, I'll just move on.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 5: And then I was like, no, they all are now.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 5: They're all like what happened? Walked an elephant into the yeah.
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 8: And then someone else tried to say something, and then
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 8: some other someone goes shut the fuck up nice, and
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 8: then it got real tense, and then I fuck it.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 5: You know, dude, I worked him. I got him back.
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 4: Sounded like great shows they were.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 5: It actually was on the violence, it was hilarious.
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 4: I was so that was more awkwards when the when
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 4: the person screamed shot the yeah.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 8: That guy came up to me after, and of course
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 8: it's this like five six dude and he's like very
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 8: small and quiet, and he's like he's like.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry, I was the one that yelled shut the
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 5: fuck up. And he's like, I just really hate when
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 5: people yelled out at comedy.
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: Shows, and I was like, all, good, dude, Yeah, it
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: sounds like you need a good laugh more than anyone.
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 5: I was like, fine, by me. That's not who I
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 5: pictured to be. The person that yelled.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 8: It was like deep in the gut, like the whole
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 8: room like shook when he yelled, and then he comes
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 8: up and it's like a kid.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: So basically you're saying that people from now on should
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: yell out do the Amy Schumer bit because it makes
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: your show better.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 5: No, if anyone yells at again, I'll just ignore it.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 5: It's a one time thing.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 4: You're gonna have to explain it otherwise people think a thief.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 5: It is so I've told it so before.
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 8: But like people do love referencing podcast things and not
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 8: realizing that, like I'm not on the level where it's
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 8: like the rooms are filled with people who are just
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 8: there for me. Yeah, half the room is there. They
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 8: got free tickets through the website, Like it's not so
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 8: like what I was at the stand one night.
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 4: And they knocked over a triangle of milk bottles at
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 4: the country fair. They want We've got strong little sasquatch
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 4: at the.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 8: Literally half the people that are at my shows won
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 8: the ticket somehow there was a raffle somewhere and they
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 8: won it.
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 4: But it's I had a guy they held.
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: They had their hand on like a Toyota for the longest.
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 8: Or they came in second place and they won. No,
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 8: but it was there was one of my Like there
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 8: was like two years ago at the stand. There was
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 8: like some dude in the front row and he just goes,
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 8: KB is gonna have that? And I was like, yeah, dude,
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 8: that's that's for only me, and you understand what you
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 8: just said, and now everyone else is confused.
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 4: I mean I was in Detroit and someone yelled out,
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 4: you killed Castellani.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 5: Oh no, and I was Castani, what is that?
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 4: I mean? I was like, I can't even begin to
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 4: get in.
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 5: No, because that's the thing is a lot of that ship.
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 8: It's like, dude, this is going to take ten minutes
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 8: to explain and it's not even gonna be funny when
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 8: I explain it.
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no, exactly, but they don't know that. That's they
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 4: know you through that. Yeah yeah, and that's something that
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 4: they followed. Yeah, and we appreciate them. The trials of
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 4: the two fifty. You know what I mean.
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 5: Exactly, dude, don't even get me started.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 4: Thing go.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 5: Definitely was feeling like I earned my spot after New Brunswick.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: Definitely felt like just a staple in the two fifty
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: Rose Up the Power ranking said the two fifty.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 8: Dude, local crowds are so fun. Yeah, like they're just
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 8: there for a comedy show. They don't care about anything else.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, whereas New York crowds no.
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 8: Like but like when you do a show, Like that's
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 8: what happens when you do a show and it sells out,
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 8: a lot of the people there are like, when's he
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 8: gonna talk about Roan? Wow, how come he's not talking
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 8: about playing Warzone with Pat Bev, Like that's what they're expecting.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 8: Like when we did All Bannie, I got a DM
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 8: after and some dude was like, show sucked. You guys
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 8: didn't talk about barstool at all, And it was like, yeah, dude,
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 8: because we're not.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 5: That's not what we're doing.
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 4: It also will be so that would like narrow the
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 4: view of it exactly. Yeah. Well, I'll be shooting my
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 4: special yes June one in Chicago. I'mianian. The ticket link
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 4: broke in the first twenty five.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 5: Hours, shut it down. We broke that shit, and.
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 4: I got so many messages from people being like, what happened?
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 4: Is it sold out already? And it really pissed me
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 4: off because I thought I had made a pretty funny
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 4: video with those golf balls. I saw that pretty goofy
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 4: and I will warn you that before it broke, we
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 4: sold a lot of tickets, so there are not many
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 4: left and two shows. What's the venue, Subterranean two hundred people.
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 4: SaaS is going to come do some time, so come
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 4: get your tickets there. The ticket link is in my
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 4: Instagram bio. It's Punch Up Live Francis Selis.
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 1: You'll find it also Pop Punk plays the night before
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: in Chicago.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 4: That's right, No way real. Roan and I are settling
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 4: up together at the Four Seasons. We're going to go.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 4: You should come to the Four Seasons.
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 5: I'll be at the Share.
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 4: No, you need to come to the four Season.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 5: I'm not going to spend money on that that I'm
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 5: still having gotten around to spending on.
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 4: Treat thyself. Dude.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 5: It's just a bed in a room.
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 4: No, the Four Seasons. Not when you use your MX
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 4: Platinum card and you get the seventy dollars breakfast credit
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 4: and the one hundred dollars resort fee.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 5: Bro I've never once woken up on time to get
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 5: breakfast at a hotel.
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 4: Well you will this time because you have a four
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 4: pm guaranteed checkout thanks to find Hotels and Resorts per
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 4: the MX Planetum card.
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 5: Four pm check out.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 4: You can stay that long.
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 5: That's pretty awesome. They are still not going to do it.
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 4: Ask you. They say, are you going to kill at all?
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 4: And I say, I'm going to use every fucking minute.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 4: And you leave your room at three fifty nine pm,
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 4: and there's a maid who is bored. She has been
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 4: waiting all day to get into your room to clean.
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 4: It's the last one.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 5: How much are you paying for my spot?
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 4: That's a good question.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 5: I'll pay you, you'll pay travel and all that.
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 4: No, I'll throw you something now, you don't have to
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 4: pay pay Why don't you just get him a room
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 4: at the four Seasons and pay him with that.
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 5: That's significantly that's more money than he would pay for
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 5: the show.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 4: Expensive. It's especially greedy bastard.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 8: I'm not the greedy one. I'm saying, don't pay for
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 8: my travel. I said he didn't even have to pay me.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 10: For the show.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 4: I'm going to pay for the show.
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 5: No, I don't need to get paid.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 4: No, don't.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 5: Don't you asked, No, I'm going. I was joking when
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 5: I asked.
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 4: Of all jokes are truth, especially when it comes to money.
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 8: Going for the love of the game, I said, I
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 8: don't even have to do the show. I just want
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 8: to go and I want to be I want you there,
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 8: want to see it.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 4: He'll be there. The team's going to be their big
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 4: fun night events.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 8: I'm getting there Wednesday. We're going to go scope out
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 8: the venue see if they're treating you right.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna go in the disguise on Wednesday. We gotta
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 4: go to the pop punk show on Friday. Yeah, so
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 4: you should come in early, and that means you should
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 4: get you want to sing a song, not at all, No,
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 4: not even a little bit, get out there and play
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 4: for at.
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 10: Least Yeah, maybe how about some claw I'll walk out.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 4: I'm I'll also be in. I'll be in excuse me
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 4: Baltimore this weekend at the Port Thursday, Friday, Saturday. There
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 4: are tickets available for that, So come to that.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 5: Sweet. I got Sacramento coming up in a couple of weeks.
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 5: Nice that's gonna be ill.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 4: We'll come support you for that. We'll be in the
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 4: building for Sacramento with.
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 5: My special in Sacramento.
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 4: Kind of.
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 8: I don't like to make a big deal about it,
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 8: but me and France actually decided we're gonna put our
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 8: specials out the same day.
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah joint specially you're gonna popcorn in this special.
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 7: Remember that.
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we're gonna can join ours. So it's bit for bid.
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 5: So it's like shows, one of France's shows, one of mine.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 4: Siame special.
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 5: Alright, cool, sweet, thank you guys for listening. We'll see
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 5: you on Thursday. Goodbye.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 4: Yes, I mean that's as through it as I can.
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 4: Podcast