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MISTRESS MIA AND SWINGING WITH SHAMON · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:15
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me a Mistress.
0:18
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and today I've got with me my
0:21
bestie shaman. Hello.
0:24
How you doing Shaman? Oh, I'm just living the dream.
0:27
How are you? Today, well, you know, it's like
0:29
64° out. It's perfect.
0:31
Beautiful weather. We've got the windows open.
0:33
It's great. Oh yeah, I smell flowers
0:36
outside. I heard birds chirping.
0:37
It's just gorgeous. Out there, gorgeous, right?
0:40
Beach Beach season's coming up, people.
0:43
I mean, we live here on the Gulf Coast and here everyone is in
0:47
the states of New York, Connecticut, Midwest, and
0:53
they're freezing their asses off and here we are.
0:55
Oh, it's like 60s this week. Oh my God, it's so great.
0:59
I think I'll have a Margarita later outside.
1:05
Yeah, yesterday we went to this lunch downtown, this little
1:09
luncheon, and it was so pretty and everything.
1:13
And then she's like, do you want to eat outside?
1:15
I'm like, Oh, no flies. You know, it was like 72.
1:20
So we're just so fucking bougie. We're so used to this perfect
1:27
weather. But anyway, so Speaking of
1:32
perfect weather, Gulf Coast, I always think of our Gulf Coast
1:35
swingers and I think about, you know, the community here and how
1:41
it's interesting enough that we've been a part of the
1:44
community as long as we have. Because I always think, you
1:47
know, the swingers and the BDSN people are together.
1:50
In a lot of places they are. Strangely enough, in some parts
1:55
of the country I've been, it's actually just a complete
1:58
divided. Line.
1:59
Yeah, and that's how a lot of them are.
2:01
Yeah, but it should. I mean let's be honest, BDSM
2:04
leads to sex. On some level.
2:06
On some level, you know. If you're in a relationship or
2:09
you're just, you know, hanging out with somebody and you want
2:11
to fuck them, yeah. I mean, purely as an art form
2:14
it's wonderful, but you know, it can lead to other things and it
2:17
can definitely lead to sex. The two should not be so cat and
2:22
dog in some instances. Yeah.
2:25
So you were in a Facebook group for your previous military
2:33
career. I was.
2:34
And you're just hanging out and you got someone who knows you.
2:41
Just looking at reels. Looking at reels, nothing too
2:44
exciting, and this guy reaches out to you and he used to be
2:48
your Sergeant. Yeah, it was.
2:51
God. I hadn't seen him since 2003 or
2:53
4. He sent me a friend request on
2:56
Facebook and we talked back and forth or send reels back and
2:58
forth for a couple of weeks. Yeah, yeah, just normal stuff.
3:02
Yeah, but somewhere in his little brain he's thinking it's
3:08
going to be cool to bring up to you that his wife is a hot wife.
3:13
Yeah, and that he's her cook. And he has no idea how much of A
3:17
pervert I actually AM and have been for since I was 19.
3:22
So he I I get a notification. Here's a photo.
3:26
I'm like, OK, you sent me a meme or something.
3:28
I look and it says, well I'm like, oh, that's his wife and
3:32
that's her ass. Nice.
3:34
Just stuck in the air. Stuck and she's a hot blonde.
3:38
Oh gorgeous woman. Physically absolutely gorgeous.
3:42
5 foot 10. Classic Scandinavian features
3:46
with the almost white blonde hair, double deep breasts and
3:51
tan skin. I mean, just gorgeous.
3:53
Yeah, she's gorgeous. I mean, it's almost like she
3:55
works out religiously because she was like firm in all the
3:58
right places. Exactly.
4:00
So you're thinking, well I used to be a swinger, but how weird
4:05
is this situation? It was odd because I and he
4:08
immediately sent a message. I think he got cold feet all of
4:12
a sudden because he goes, oh fuck.
4:15
He's like, hey, that was like a pocket dial.
4:17
And I'm and I told him I was like, hey, man, I already
4:19
deleted it. I didn't at that point, but I
4:21
was making them feel better. I just wasn't paying attention
4:24
to the picture. I told was like, bro, I've been
4:26
a swinger. I've been, you know, doing this
4:29
kind of stuff since I was 19 years old.
4:31
I was like, even back when you knew me, I was doing this stuff.
4:34
I had a sex swing in my barracks room.
4:37
I was like, it's all just white noise to me.
4:39
I'm just trying to make him feel better.
4:40
I was like, water under the bridge.
4:42
Yeah. And then his, he was like, well,
4:45
that was a boring statement, a boring reply or something.
4:49
I'm like, bro, what? I'm sick.
4:52
I'm saying I'm saving you from embarrassment.
4:55
And then his next, he was like, I love watching men fuck my
4:59
wife. And I'm like, OK buddy, how long
5:02
have you had this on your chest? That's Todd.
5:05
I was. Like I was like OK that
5:07
definitely wasn't a boring reply right there, but that's not what
5:10
I expected bro. Now, see, when you told me this,
5:15
I told you I said, well, you know, shame.
5:16
And he probably had the hots for you.
5:19
Yeah, even back in the day, you're like, no, Mia, no.
5:22
And I'm like, look, all these cucks that really get caught up,
5:26
you know, there's one thing that some cucks feel like they're
5:30
inadequate, and they're cool with their wife having sex with
5:34
a guy with a big Dick. Yeah, they're cool with that.
5:37
But the fact that he goes all balls to the wall and just like,
5:40
yeah, I want to watch my wife get fucked by dudes, he's
5:43
envisioning himself getting fucked by dudes.
5:45
Yeah, I can believe it at this point.
5:49
Because I mean, I've had people say to me, oh, you know, guys
5:53
who I used to date in the past are like, oh, yeah, you know, I
5:56
just, I can be in the closet and I could hear you getting fucked.
5:58
I would love that. And I'm like, yeah, that that's
6:01
kind of cool. I'm like, you don't want to be
6:03
in the room. No, no, no, no, no.
6:04
I I want to be just listening to it so I could see that
6:08
perspective. But this guy, he wants to
6:11
visualize everything. Don't get me wrong, if I'm
6:16
walking around the place at a party and I just happened to
6:19
look and they got the, you know, a door open, yeah, I'm watching
6:22
because like I said, I'm a perv and this is porn in real life.
6:26
Yes. Absolutely, I'm going to
6:28
probably get a snack while I watch.
6:30
As we all would. Hey can I get a term with that?
6:36
You know, before you and I met, this was absolutely hilarious.
6:41
I had a very vanilla friend for the first time come to my party,
6:46
and he was brought here by one of my friends in the King
6:49
community. OK, her name, she, she's like
6:53
Jessica. We're going to call her Jessica.
6:55
She's she's real casual. She's really fun, but she was
6:59
never with the type of person just have like, gang bangs or
7:01
anything crazy. But she told my friend, I told
7:05
her friend at the time his name's James.
7:08
She told James she's like, hey, there's this party tonight.
7:11
Instead of going, you know, out to dinner and everything, we
7:13
could go to this party and she serves great food and we could
7:17
have fun. And he's like, oh, OK, count me
7:20
in you. Serve good food at the party.
7:25
They show up and he's wearing this shirt that Walmart put out
7:31
and it's the cats with the planets.
7:34
Oh my God, I remember the. Shirt like the space Kitty cat
7:38
shirt. So I thought I I met him and I
7:42
said, hey, James, it's really nice to meet you.
7:45
I said, why are you wearing a Kitty cat T-shirt to a sex
7:48
party? And he's like, I first did not
7:52
know this was a sex party. Because he lives by the puss,
7:55
and he dies by the puss. And ultimately, from that woman
8:02
on, he and I became instant friends.
8:04
And I have him down in my phone as Kitty cat James, you know,
8:09
Kitty cat shirt James, I think. But yeah, he's a cool guy.
8:13
He really is. But any who they at the party,
8:17
She had been to the parties before Jessica already knew, but
8:20
James had no fucking clue. He goes to put their beer in my
8:25
refrigerator. He's walking in the kitchen and
8:29
he's watching this chick. She is double pounding, fisted,
8:34
pounding, two guys Dicks and she's sucking a Dick right by my
8:39
refrigerator. Fantastic.
8:41
And there's a center table in the center of the kitchen, and
8:45
he's trying to figure out how he goes around them without
8:49
breaking up the scene, like, oh, excuse me, can I put my beer in
8:53
the fridge? Honestly, at that point, you
8:55
just got to let the scene play out.
8:57
You do? Yeah.
8:58
Yeah. I'm not even trying to be funny
9:00
here. It's like, look, hey, you don't,
9:01
you know, they got they're in the zone.
9:03
Yeah. Unfortunately, it's where you
9:05
need to go. But hey, next time bring do what
9:08
I do, bring a cooler. Bring a cooler.
9:10
Yeah, he came out and he was just like, yeah, there's
9:14
somebody giving a very aggressive blowjob in the
9:17
kitchen as well. It's common.
9:19
That's good, but it's OK. I've I've gone to the parties, I
9:24
got to use the restroom. I come, I go to the restroom.
9:27
Look at that. You guys are fucking on the
9:28
toilet or okay, I'll, I'll go somewhere else.
9:32
I'll find a Bush. Fucking on the counter in the
9:36
bathroom. Yeah.
9:39
Yeah. So at this point, back to your
9:42
original story. OK, so your your hot wife is
9:46
contacting you. The husband is contacting you.
9:49
Yes. And they're like only four hours
9:51
away from Pensacola. They are.
9:55
And I'm, I was sitting there talking to her.
9:57
He would be sending me pictures, tell her how hot she is.
10:02
And I was trying to. I wasn't playing it cool.
10:04
I had honestly, just because of our past.
10:07
Yeah. I wasn't interested.
10:10
But, you know, she sent me a friend request on Facebook, and
10:13
I was just going to talk to her normally, you know, normally I
10:16
was respectful, not hitting on her, not flirting with her.
10:21
And she wasn't, you know, you know, she was seeing mutual.
10:25
She wasn't doing the same with me.
10:26
Cool. I made a friend.
10:28
Yeah. And that's when things got dark.
10:34
There are a lot of broken people in this lifestyle and
10:39
unfortunately, I think both of them fit the category pretty
10:43
well. It started getting pretty weird.
10:46
It went from she started joking with I thought she was joking.
10:49
She's like, you know, I could really use a golf cart.
10:52
I'm like, well, I hope you buy 1.
10:53
I don't know what it is for Florida people and golf carts,
10:58
but she every time it got to the point, every time, every time I
11:02
would bring, you know, I would talk to she'd bring it up at
11:04
some point. And I finally realized she
11:06
wasn't kidding. And I asked her, I'm like,
11:08
Whoopi, I was like, you have a husband.
11:10
I have no attachment to you at all.
11:12
What makes you think I'm going to buy you a golf cart?
11:15
And she says, and I'm not joking here, it's because you're
11:18
single. You don't have a wife or
11:20
girlfriend. That was her justification.
11:23
And I'm like, look, and I had to spell it out for draw a hard
11:26
boundary. I told her I was like, look,
11:28
it's not my place to buy you things.
11:31
I don't do that. I was like, there are girls that
11:33
we know that have given me blowjobs and I'm not going to
11:35
buy them a freaking golf cart. Yeah.
11:39
And she go, you know, and things started getting weird from
11:43
there. And I, I even told, you know,
11:46
you know, I don't call him a friend.
11:47
I haven't seen him in over 20 years.
11:48
He's a memory, but an acquaintance, sure.
11:51
Like, hey, man, why is your wife asking me to buy her stuff?
11:54
He goes, oh, well, you know, you know, just trying to play it off
11:58
and, you know, it's a joke. I'm like, bro, it's not a joke.
12:01
And then things started getting kind of twisted.
12:05
She'd she'd messaged me and one time he actually gave her my
12:10
phone number and she called me. That was weird because I was
12:14
like bro why are you giving her my phone number?
12:16
Yeah, and she called you, and she's saying that she thinks
12:20
that you're in love with her. Yes, exactly.
12:23
You know, it just came out of nowhere.
12:25
We're just talking about normal stuff.
12:26
How's your day going? My day's going get blah, blah,
12:28
blah. You know, and she starts talking
12:32
about how I'm her bestie or we're besties and I'm like, and
12:35
I set it out and played English. No, we're not.
12:38
I I've less than two weeks. Yeah.
12:40
I was like, I you're my best friend, honestly.
12:43
And it took you years. Yeah.
12:45
I was like, you don't know me well enough.
12:46
Nearly well enough to give, you know us that distinction.
12:50
Yeah. And it started going further
12:51
from there. She was like, well, I think we
12:54
have a cosmic connection. I'm like, whoa, no, we don't.
12:59
And that's when it came out and I was telling her this stuff the
13:01
whole time, just short, terse. No, we're not.
13:04
No, we don't. And she goes, well, I know
13:06
you're in love with me. And I just my brain strokes out
13:11
for a second. My exact words were I'm sorry,
13:14
what the fuck did you say? She goes, you heard me.
13:17
I'm like, no, I don't think I did.
13:19
She goes, you're in love with me.
13:20
And I don't know how to handle it.
13:21
It was like she was reading off a script.
13:24
And unfortunately, after that, I had to cut contact with both of
13:29
them. I was like, look, because there
13:32
was also, she was starting to, you know, when I rebuffed her on
13:34
that, it started suddenly, oh, he's an abusive husband just out
13:38
of nowhere. And once you've dealt with
13:41
people like this before, you don't really know what's reality
13:44
and what's not. And I was like, look, I, I can't
13:47
prove it, but I honestly think you're lying.
13:49
I think you're just trying to play for sympathy at this point,
13:52
you know? And frankly, it sounds like you
13:54
guess she would ask me, you know, my future career plans.
13:57
She's like, well, if you found the perfect woman, would you
14:00
still do that? And I'm like, well, yes, I'm
14:03
like, she's fishing. Absolutely.
14:06
You know she's fishing for a replacement.
14:08
Oh, 100%. And I was like, look, and I cut
14:11
her off immediately. Just cut contact.
14:14
And just in all fairness, I cut contact off from him because,
14:19
you know, one thing I really value in my life is my piece.
14:23
And I'm like, look, YouTube brought this in the, you know,
14:24
into my world and I just, I'm getting rid of you.
14:28
I'm cutting you off because sometimes that's the best thing
14:30
you do. Don't string along people.
14:33
Don't try to fix them. Don't try to help them.
14:37
You know if they if they're crossing lines that you don't
14:40
want, get rid of them. Yeah, and I think that's why
14:42
we're going to do this episode surrounded by the fact of being
14:46
a swinger and all the shit that can happen and how quickly
14:50
things just snowball, you know? Because I always say that
14:55
there's couples that swing, they can handle it like adults, and
14:59
they do it to enhance their sex life and their relationship, and
15:03
it's all good. And they can separate the fact
15:05
that love is not sex and sex is not love.
15:08
And the pitfall of that, the opposite side of that spectrum
15:11
is unfortunately, there's people and couples out there.
15:15
They're using it, they're trying to swing to fill a hole in their
15:19
lives. And I'm going to be honest with
15:20
you, swinging isn't going to freak.
15:23
It's not going to fill that void.
15:24
Nothing. No.
15:26
And yo, all you're doing is delaying the inevitable.
15:29
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I mean, you know, we've had the
15:35
Griswolds, we've had them on the the podcast and, you know,
15:41
they've had some wild adventures, but you know, their
15:43
rule is always that they play together.
15:45
Yes. And I think as it should be.
15:48
Classic perfect rule. Yeah, right.
15:52
And you know, then you have other wives that again, you have
15:55
the cuckold situation and she's obviously cucking him.
16:00
And it can work for people because it's trusted
16:03
communication. But when you're dealing with
16:05
someone who's mentally unstable and you managed to find those
16:09
people. I am a loony magnet, aren't I?
16:14
You are a loony magnet shaman. You truly are.
16:17
Now I will say that you have that one, one lovely girl come
16:22
down and she's on fat and I love her.
16:24
She listens to the podcast Ivy and when I met her I was like,
16:30
yes, she is not nuts. This is great.
16:34
What do you think? I was like, oh thank God you're
16:36
not crazy. I know, I know.
16:40
And I'm like, gosh, she's so cool, she's attractive.
16:43
And then of course, the Griswolds were like, oh, she's
16:46
hot, we're gonna fuck her, you know?
16:50
I'm sitting here. I'm sitting here looking like,
16:51
hey, hey, hands off my Kool-aid. But but yeah, she was like one,
16:58
one person who was semi normal, like all of us.
17:03
And because none of us are normal, you know, we're all
17:06
crazy on some level. But damn, when you were telling
17:09
me about this hot wife and that whole situation, I was like,
17:12
Jesus, you know? That it just if I were to, if I
17:18
were to guess, I'm not a mind reader, you know, I can't, you
17:21
know, but if I were to go ahead and make an assumption, gay man
17:25
in deep denial married a very attractive woman for, you know,
17:30
seemingly status purposes. Said attractive woman is oh,
17:36
she's so crazy, just extremely crazy.
17:39
And on top of that, a manipulator to boot.
17:42
Yeah, yeah. It's funny, you know, it's
17:45
Valentine's and we're recording about swingers and her unstable
17:49
relationships. It just occurred to me that it
17:55
was. Just eat some chocolates and
17:56
coke. Yes, exactly.
17:59
You know, we've got we've got different codes in the
18:04
lifestyle. And like I said, I think the
18:07
BDSM lifestyle coincides with swinger lifestyles.
18:11
No matter how they want to say it doesn't, it still does.
18:14
We've talked about this at the beginning of the episode, but
18:18
you know, when you have swingers, there's such thing as
18:21
soft swap and soft swap is basically over the clothes.
18:28
It's a just a basic connection. You can make out with opposite
18:35
sex or whatever in that opposite couple, that kind of situation.
18:39
And then you have hard swap where then it's full blown sex.
18:43
Oh yeah, you know. My favorite?
18:46
Your favorite? Yeah, but you were doing this in
18:51
Colorado. In Colorado.
18:52
I mean, it's a wealthy town. You probably really went to some
18:55
great parties. You met different people and you
18:57
had a great time. So many different people, so
19:00
many different backgrounds. And frankly, yeah, at the time,
19:05
I haven't been to Colorado in about 5 years, but at the time,
19:10
yeah, it was, if you could think of it, it was probably going on.
19:14
There were swinger groups. And honestly, a big one, you
19:18
know, by the time I left and came back home was Polly
19:22
Households. These people are all single, but
19:25
they're all in relationships under one roof, living together.
19:28
I saw about six or seven of those families all living
19:33
together. You know, it was, it was it.
19:36
Colorado has a very surprisingly healthy, you know, BDSM and
19:41
swinger scene. Yeah yeah, Oprah and Zell.
19:45
He is like a Co founder of the term Polly family and it was his
19:51
wife, his late wife Morning Glory who actually coined the
19:54
term back in like the Sixties 70s.
19:57
I did not know that. Yes, he is a very just just a
20:03
really incredible man to talk to.
20:05
He has published multiple books. He has masters and a doctorate
20:10
in psychology. I mean, he's just in a very
20:12
intelligent man and you know, he was talking about.
20:16
He thinks the reason people swing or go to the option of
20:21
being in a Poly relationship is because he feels like one
20:24
partner can't meet the needs of the other partner and vice versa
20:29
in its entirety. It's possible, yeah.
20:33
That's definitely a strong theory.
20:36
My years in it and you know, the people I've met in it, there's
20:40
so many various reasons as to why like I, you know, I can be
20:46
completely monogamous if I want to be.
20:47
I have that capability, sure. But if I have someone within the
20:50
lifestyle who, you know, is of the same mindset as me, why
20:54
can't we come to a party and, you know, sample more than just
20:57
the food? Sure.
20:59
Why not? There's no jealousy there.
21:01
Yeah, it's just good physical fun.
21:05
Exactly. And that's my mentality on it.
21:07
Exactly. Exactly.
21:10
I don't know, I'm one of those jealous bitches.
21:12
I would, I feel like, you know, I really would not want someone
21:15
else touching my husband unless it was a dude.
21:18
Yeah, you know, I mean, I know that women are not going to
21:22
compare to what I do for him, which is cool.
21:24
But I always want to see guy on guy.
21:27
So it's like I have played with couples but it's been 2 dudes.
21:32
You nasty little pervert you. And then I did play with one
21:39
interracial couple years ago and it was a male female.
21:44
And you know, that was fun, but it was still like, I still want
21:48
to be center of the tension, you know, I still want to be the one
21:51
bitch. That's there's nothing wrong
21:53
with that at all. That's actually very common.
21:55
Yeah, it is very common, yeah. But we have met a lot of
22:00
interesting people in the swingers groups and everything,
22:02
and I think they just really know how to have a good time.
22:06
I think it's fun. We deal with the swing dancers,
22:09
for example. Oh, they're wonderful, aren't
22:11
they? Full they they come, they have
22:13
fun, they're very just. Very strong relationship.
22:18
Yes, yes. And they're very charismatic
22:21
with other people. Oh yeah, they're both bisexual.
22:24
You. Can't help but like them.
22:25
No, you can't. So I think that the swinging
22:28
lifestyle isn't for everyone, but I think there needs to be
22:31
obvious common rules for what you share and what you don't.
22:34
Oh, if you do not have rules, your relationship is going to
22:38
explode and it's not going to end well.
22:41
Yeah, because we've seen it happen.
22:43
Yeah, obviously. I have seen people come to
22:46
parties and they just thought they might like the idea of it.
22:50
And once it was in, you know, in motion, yeah, yeah.
22:54
It was just an entire scene, just dramatics until they left
22:58
the gate. It's interesting, I had this one
23:01
one couple and they've been to multiple parties.
23:05
My theory of it is if you are on the prowl to fuck somebody, like
23:10
look your best, but thank you, right, Look your best.
23:15
Well, this bitch, she would look so dumpy when she came to
23:20
parties. And I just, I never understood
23:21
this rationalization. Her whole goal was getting a big
23:24
Dick. And I just happened to know this
23:26
older gentleman and he reminds me of Clint Eastwood, always
23:29
does because he's an older guy. But this man just built his own
23:32
house with his two hands. Fantastic.
23:35
I mean, he's an electrician, he is talented and he's got this
23:39
massive 1011 inch Dick and he has stamina.
23:42
Of course he does of. Course he does some.
23:44
People get it all, yes. Exactly.
23:48
And so I tell people, you know, this is big Dick Tom, you know,
23:52
look at this. Look at this big Dick, you know,
23:54
And we've taken pictures with it, with this glorious Dick.
23:58
Anyway, anytime I've known anyone to fuck Big Dick Tom,
24:02
they always tap out if that tells you something.
24:04
Yeah, it does. Right, so we're doing this and
24:08
this dumpy bitch comes to me and says I want a big Dick and I'm
24:12
like, you need me big Dick, Tom. I introduced her to him and man,
24:17
she put her nose up quick. Oh yes, I.
24:20
Was like why you want to be a snotty bitch about it?
24:24
I'm sorry, are you here for the face?
24:26
Are you here for the Dick? Thank.
24:28
You, you said Dick. You said Dick.
24:31
He was an older gentleman, and I guess that's what she had a
24:33
problem with. Maybe she wanted someone young,
24:35
but I mean, damn. Well, that goes both ways, too.
24:39
Let's talk, you know, How about the fellas?
24:41
Yeah, guys, I know it's going to be summer.
24:45
Yeah. If you're coming to an adult
24:47
party, don't show up like you can't.
24:50
You're just coming down, you know, from a fishing trip.
24:52
Thank you. You know, thank you you know,
24:54
the cheap polo from Walmart, the cut off jeans or just the cargo,
24:59
not or the. Cargo shorts the.
25:00
Cargo shorts bro, this isn't high school.
25:03
Yeah. You're not coming, you know
25:05
You're not coming to a you know kegger is.
25:08
Stop dressing like a 9th grader. I hate investing cargo shorts.
25:12
I was like them. I'm sitting here right now, so
25:14
you're. Sitting here in the studio,
25:16
you've got the white linen shirt on, you've got dressed jeans,
25:19
you're hanging out. I.
25:21
Got AI, got a like a freaking $80 quarter.
25:24
I'm wearing a ball cap. It's an $80 corduroy cap.
25:27
I'm just casual today and I'm still trying to look the best I
25:29
can. Yeah, and you smell nice.
25:31
Thank you. Yeah, you smell nice.
25:32
I like that Cologne. It's like step, you know?
25:35
I mean, you don't have to. You don't have to change your
25:38
whole wardrobe, guys. Yeah, just a few nice outfits
25:42
that you hang up in the closet. And when you go, oh, I'm going
25:45
to a party where I might get laid.
25:47
Yeah, dress up. Dress up.
25:49
Peacock a little bit. Exactly.
25:52
Shave the back, wax it, do something.
25:55
Yeah, exactly. You can ask Mistress me over
25:58
here. I rarely if ever come to a party
26:00
and I'm not on point. Exactly, exactly.
26:03
And you always get hit on and you don't see.
26:06
It I do not notice it. You do not notice it at all.
26:10
I have AI have a touch of the tism so yes.
26:13
I was like touch of it. There's that that episode of
26:19
Shane Gillis where he does stand up and he was like, yeah, I just
26:22
kind of barely missed it, you know?
26:24
Pretty much. That's a great but but yeah, you
26:29
know, there's so many women that come and they're just very open
26:33
to flirt and just have fun. And then there's some women that
26:37
don't, they don't want to flirt. They don't really want to put
26:40
themselves out there. There was a couple and they were
26:43
sitting with one of my other friends.
26:45
They were by the pool and they were a nice looking couple, but
26:48
they didn't approach anybody, you know, Did you see anybody
26:51
that interests you? And they're like, yeah, yeah.
26:53
Cold feet. Cold feet, yeah.
26:55
Throw an adult porn. You have a tour guide, somebody
26:58
who's friendly, you know? I was going to say, and you
27:01
always make a great tour guide. Oh, thank you.
27:03
You know, you al couple of other people, you know, they come and
27:07
and help. Oh, Punky Punky's great too.
27:09
Fantastic. Yeah, and that's the thing.
27:11
You go around and you're just like, hey, you know, this is
27:13
where you can eat. This is, you know, the part of
27:16
the living area. Hey, these are some great tents
27:18
you can go and check out. Exactly.
27:20
Now we're getting ready for another one come April and I,
27:25
you know it's going to be right at spring.
27:27
It's going to be a little warm. We're just going to play it by
27:30
ear, see how things go. Oh, springtime.
27:34
It's springtime, they're horning, yes, So we're going to
27:38
see how that goes. But do you have any key points
27:42
to remind people on what it's going to be like going into the
27:46
swinger group and swinger community?
27:48
You know what they should do if they're new to it as a couple.
27:52
As a couple, yes, before you take that first step and reach
27:57
out and, you know, before you try to find a group or, you
28:01
know, maybe just another swinger, couples sit down with
28:04
each other and just layout the ground rules.
28:08
That's it. Be willing to compromise on some
28:10
things that you know to make your partner happy.
28:13
And then most importantly, when you do take that step out into
28:16
this world, you stick with those rules no matter what.
28:21
I mean, those rules are law and if you break them, you break a
28:24
trust. And I've seen so many swinger
28:28
couples that they let their hormones or their emotions get
28:32
the better of them in a moment and they just destroyed a
28:35
relationship. Best case scenario, almost
28:37
destroyed the relationship. This is just to add some spice.
28:40
It's to add a little extra fun. Meet people.
28:43
It's not worth your marriage. It's not worth your engagement.
28:46
It's not worth just losing your girlfriend or boyfriend over
28:50
Sure. And if you meet another couple
28:52
out there and they push a boundary respectfully and
28:55
politely let you know that there is a boundary, that there is
28:57
rules that you 2 have, and if they don't respect it, you just
29:00
cut them out. Yeah, I think too, because of
29:03
the lack of communication from people, it's kind of like the
29:06
Griswolds. They have met different people
29:08
and it's usually they're trying to find just a single guy.
29:10
Yeah, and they've had like 3 or 4 different single guys they've
29:14
met up with who've either ghosted them before they ever
29:17
met, or they meet them and the guy is completely impotent.
29:24
Yeah, that's a that. Honestly, that's a problem.
29:27
And a lot of guys, you're going to find single male swingers
29:31
everywhere. We're a dime a dozen.
29:33
Yeah. And one thing, a lot of guys
29:35
love the thought of this kind of stuff.
29:37
A lot of single guys do. But when you're in that moment,
29:40
and I've been victim of this, I'm man enough to admit it.
29:43
Sometimes your brain doesn't want to do what the body wants
29:46
to do. Sure, you suddenly get cold
29:49
feet. You start feeling insecure.
29:50
It's just that gamble you're going to have as a single male
29:54
swinger or meeting single male swingers.
29:58
It's just a reality of the nature of the beast.
30:00
And a lot of these guys, I'm willing to, I'm willing to bet
30:04
that they were meeting that ghost of them or were impotent.
30:07
They were first timers. Probably so.
30:09
And that's something I would tell to any single male swinger
30:12
out there who wants to get into this.
30:14
Any potential male swinger. Don't start out as a single male
30:17
swinger. I know that sounds kind of
30:19
crazy. Find a like minded partner or
30:22
just frequent some party adult party, some sex parties you know
30:26
and make up your mind. Get comfortable in this kind of
30:28
environment before you fully try to commit to it.
30:31
Or guess what, your Dick is going to go crawling up into
30:34
your. Scrotum.
30:35
Into your You know it's going to try to hide when it's time to
30:38
when it should be time to dance, because your brain's still not
30:42
you. Why you might like the thought
30:43
of this. Your brain still isn't
30:44
comfortable with it yet. This isn't normal life, you
30:49
know? You know where we're at
30:50
culturally. Yeah, because there's another
30:52
dude in the room and he's either participating or just watching.
30:55
So it's it's an acquired taste. Yeah, it definitely is an
30:58
acquired taste. So you just gave the advice too,
31:03
as a single male, don't go in single.
31:06
Go with a friend, go with someone.
31:07
Yes, yeah, that's always good advice.
31:10
That's very cool. And no alcohol.
31:12
There you go. Somebody out there is listening.
31:14
Like what are you talking about? It's a party.
31:16
If you're new to this stuff and you're trying to perform, you're
31:20
trying to get that Dick hard, No booze for you.
31:23
Yeah. Until you're used to the
31:26
environment, yeah. That's definitely good piece of
31:30
advice. Go to the doc, get some pills, I
31:33
don't know. Yeah, why not, right?
31:37
Seriously, out there, they'll just give them to you.
31:39
Yes, See, Alice does wonders for a lot of people.
31:43
Well, I think we'll leave it on that.
31:46
I'll leave it on that note. That was fun.
31:47
Oh. Yeah, this was a lot of fun.
31:49
Good. All right.
31:51
So until then, Shaman, thanks for coming out and.
31:55
Thank you for having me. Yeah, absolutely.
31:57
That's been interesting. It's always interesting.
32:00
I'm an interesting. Guy.
32:01
Interesting guy. All right, so until then, this
32:04
has been the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.