Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Crowd Work Pack_ Kansas City Music Hall

Transcript

Crowd Work Pack_ Kansas City Music Hall · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You're gonna get cooked tonight. I want you to know that.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: The way that light is coming off.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Your head, I'm gonna tear your milk dud, built bad
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: head ass up. You and this church lady you hanging
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: on to.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Looking like Maya Angelou. Man, let's do it. Turn on
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: the lights.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: All of them.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Up top, make some noise. Okay, y'all lit up there, huh? Downstairs,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: make more noise in there.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: That was impressive. My jump, that was really good. So
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: let's get into it. I would like to talk to you.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: I already told you we were going to get it.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: So I hope you practice your answers just that quickly.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: About three years, I love you, seven. And so I said,
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: you look like a pastor and she looked like a
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: church lady in Maya Angelou.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: What?
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: You don't look like a church man? That look just
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: like a swallowed. That's Bishop Reverend T.D.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Jakes.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Then Maya Angelou, because I dance like I have diamonds
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: at the meetings of.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: My five phenomenal women. That's me.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: How, what church y'all met at? You say far from it?
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Where'd you meet at, strip club? High school sweethearts at
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: the same time? Fucking his lunch lady. She pulled his
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: young ass too. Look, I usually only get one scoop
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: of that, but because it's you, two more. You're like,
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: praise God, swallowed. When y'all graduate, man, tell me until
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: I get an idea. 94, from birth or high school?
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: You graduated in 94? Tupac was alive at your graduation.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: What's that make you, 56? How old are you?
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: 49.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: You look good for 49. Both of y'all do. You
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: look worried like I wasn't going to say you look good.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: You look good for 49, sis.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: You 49 as well? Yeah, it's a little graze in
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: the front throwing us off, but.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: You got young eyes and your cheekbones up, cute little nose.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Y'all got the same nose. Y'all care? Y'all knows? Y'all
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: done the 23andMe? Y'all don't.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Don't. You'll fuck all your happiness up. They'll be like,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: that's your fourth cousin. Who's all together? Is it just
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: y'all or is it all the black people not together?
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Okay. I'm sorry. That's racism. I apologize. Let's go right
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: here to Bobby Brown. How you doing?
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: It's your prerogative, baby. You going to show them? Because
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: they going to lose it when they see them. My tenderoni.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Every little step I take, new addition. He said, this Whitney.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Ma'am, sit up. What you doing?
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Bobby, Bobby.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Sit up, lady. Where your shirt at, that's it? Did
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: you mow on the lawn or something? You fixing your car?
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: You ain't got no undershirt on or nothing.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: I can literally see your little black ass nipples right now.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: That is crazy. Look at him chewing his gum on hard.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I say something back, too, watch, I will. What do
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: you do, you a mechanic? What do you do for
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: a living? You retired? What you used to do? Used
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: to be a mailman. I was just playing, man. These
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: are just jokes.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I don't want no shit. I don't fuck with no mailman.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: They be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Motherfucker go
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: postal outside. I'm just trying to get to the car.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: He out there with a goddamn musket. You talking all
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: that shit at that goddamn show. Yeah, you, no, no, no, no.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: I got old guns. You stand right there. Whitney, hand
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: me my goddamn marbles. I'm about to blow his goddamn
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: head off. So how did y'all meet? I broke that.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: You've known her since you were 12 years old?
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: And you're married now. How long you been married? 37 years.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I'm impressed.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Black love, that's like 78 years. You put it all together,
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: that's 78 years.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: What's the secret? I hate that for you. Because I know.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: You probably got a good secret to love and all that,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: but it didn't come to you as fast as it
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: should have.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: And women don't like that.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: She's going to be looking at the side of your
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: head while you're driving tonight.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Like, really? You can't think of no secrets for why
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: you love me?
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: I'm literally every woman inside of me. White people, that's
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: a Whitney Houston lyric. She's like, hey, I knew that one.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: That's what's up. We got some cool white people. I
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: So, ma'am, maybe you could put some words together for
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: what the secret is to 37 years of successful love.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Understanding. Space. Keep going. This is getting good.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: She's like, stay away from me and understand that I
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: need some goddamn peace and quiet. Baby, have you seen
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: my goddamn undershirt? You know you ain't wearing no goddamn undershirt.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Put on that punk ass C2 V-neck and get your
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: ass in the Oldsmobile and let's go.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Now you gonna see my nipples.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck about who see your nipples.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Get in the goddamn car. You understand? I hate you
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: keep dressing me like this. Shut up and get in
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: the motherfucking truck.
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: All right, let's talk to the glistening eyed White couple
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: right here, your eyes are glistening, like you just hit
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: the lotto for like a little bit, not the whole thing.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Headlock, okay, that's your wife? Okay, how long?
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Y'all want me to come back? He said 13, she
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: said 11. She like, we were just fucking from the
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: first two. Y'all need to talk, I'ma come back and
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: get the real years. Well, let's go right here, let's go,
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: is this your daddy?
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: You come on. You somebody, daddy, ain't you? All right, then.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: I ain't wrong. Happy Father's Day. This your queen right
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: here with the body language? Okay. And y'all married? Big
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: ass shiny ring. How long? 31 years. Okay. They beat you.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: They beat you. What's the secret? You got to put
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: the work in. Got to put the work in. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: What you mean? You talking about in bed or you
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: talking about just like being a good man? In and
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: out of the bedroom. You got to be patient.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: You got to be understanding.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Patient. Understanding. The bedroom counts. Ma'am, what's the real secret?
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: He bullshit. He talking like a Hallmark card. I want
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: that real shit. She's like, drugs. We be high all
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: the time. Look. I saw it. You weren't able to
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: hold still. That's how I knew. She's like. How'd y'all meet, man?
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: High school sweethearts too?
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Y'all lost y'all virginity to each other? Did you lose
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: yours to her? Did you lose yours to him?
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: What high school y'all went to? Y'all weren't fucking around, huh?
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Y'all went to school out here?
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Where? You're from Michigan? Okay. What year you graduated? 1990.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Wait.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: You said 94, didn't.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: You? 1990? How old are you, sir? 53. Ma'am, how
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: young are you?
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: I'll be 53 tomorrow.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Your birthday's tomorrow? Happy birthday. Happy birthday. What's your name?
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: So we can sing it and put your name in
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: the spot where names go. Darcy.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Darcy.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Y'all down? Sing happy birthday to Darcy. We got other
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: birthdays in here? Clap twice. So everybody.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy. Just the birthday people. Clap two times.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: That's a lot.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: I thought maybe three at max. Who actual, who birthday
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: is it right now? Right there, right there? I see
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: you in your shiny shit, you're shiny too.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Go here, she's like, look like Dorothy Dandridge.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Both of y'all? What'd you say, baby? Can you put
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: her on the screen? She up under the dark. I
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: can't see her. Put that aperture up. That camera can
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: see better than me.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, shit. What you cooking for your birthday? Fried what?
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: What's your name sis?
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Bonnie? And it's your birthday right now Bonnie? You did what?
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Who are you?
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Bonnie you know him?
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: So it's your birthday today, sir? So when is Bonnie's birthday?
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Did you hear the initial question in which I asked,
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: who's birthday is it right now? Yeah, yeah, we talking
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: about Bonnie now, sir. Calm your pissed off ass down.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: What the fuck going on?
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: He look like the dude that stabbed everybody on BMF.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: What's his name, Lamar? I want to talk to Bonnie. Bonnie,
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: is that a wheelchair, baby? You drove here in that?
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: She been out there six hours.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Baby!
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Hiya! You see the little delay on the meat? I
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: love you, Bonnie, baby. We're going to sing you happy birthday, Bonnie.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: I was going to do it for everybody, but based
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: on that last joke, it's just going to be for Bonnie.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Okay. Bonnie, is that your full name? So Bonnie is
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: good right in there. It'll feel personalized.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Happy birthday to you.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Happy birthday to you.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: Happy birthday, dear Bonnie and your arm meat.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Happy birthday to.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: You.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Her arms got assed. Big booty arms, I'm playing! She said,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: come on, fuck my arm!
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: I'll do it too, I don't give a fuck. I'll
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: do it, stay in the chair. Six hours is a
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: long way to go. You riding back tonight or you
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: gonna stay the night? Where you going after this, Bonnie?
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Let me be your Clyde. What do you say, sugar?
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: You whispering from this far away is crazy.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Okay. You going back tonight? That what I had. I'm
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: trying to figure out where you laying your head at. Yeah.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: How about I sit in the chair? And then you
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: sit on me. Yeah!
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Fuck being choked, she can be like, that's it. Take
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: this back in his arm, Nick.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: All right, let's move on.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: That's uncomfortable, it's okay, we'll move on.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Let's talk to a few other people. There's a group
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: right here, just.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Lots of colors, and blue, and teal, and pink, and Hawaii.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Is this a whole family right here? All the white
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: people in one little row?
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: No? Just racism?
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry to just assume. I thought they were all together,
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: so I'm not wrong for that. It's five of y'all.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Who's the third wheel? Who by themselves?
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: You are down there? Okay. You kind of pretty to
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: just be out here with no hoes. So this is
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: a couple right here? You and Pinky? Who's been together longer?
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: You don't even know them? No?
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: You could have sat right there in the middle of
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: the seat between y'all. You crushing the shit out of
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: his wife for no reason.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: That is crazy. The back of your arm heat is
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: coming off. If you had her arm, she'd be dead.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: She's like, fuck you. What's your name, the big leprechaun? James?
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, James. Is this your wife there? Outstanding.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Thank you for coming out, crimping your hair Putting it
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: on you.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: Putting it on you. That's not crimp. That's work hair.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: I thought you were going to say, this is natural.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like, bitch, I'll do a cannonball on you. That
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: ain't your goddamn natural hair. Okay, and so where you
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: work at? That's work hair? You work for the county
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: sheriff's office? I think you said that wrong.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: What you meant to say was, I'm the police.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: People think they slick. I work for them, but I'm
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: not one of them. Ignore this badge in my purse.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: So you the sheriff then? You the reception for the sheriff?
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: What do you do? You 911.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Do you send people when you hear an emergency even
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: though you can tell who on the other end?
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: You send the help to every part of town? So
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: you be like, hey, we over here at the crossroads.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's going to be a while. Sometimes you got
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: to lie to them. It's somebody punching a white lady
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: down here.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: They be like, woo, woo, woo, woo. Helicopters, trains. I
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: stubbed my toe. I had to tell y'all to see
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: how I get down here. And what do you do, sir? Hello?
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: What just happened, though? I'm an electronics technician at a,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: at a, at a, I'm an.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Electronics technician at a, God damn, I'm an electronics technician
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: at a, I still don't know, electronics technician at where?
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: What?
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: You make cheese?
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Why didn't you just say that? You said electronics, nigga,
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking you work at Best Buy. You a goddamn
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: Green Bay Packer. All you had to do was just
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: fire off, I make cheese. This is how white people do.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: They make their job sound way more complicated than it is.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: What do you do?
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: I am a astro technician. I look at the moon.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: So you make cheese. What's your cheese? All the cheeses?
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: You got the plug? Don't hum me. You heard me.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Do you got the plug on the cheese?
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: Huh?
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: How much cheddar can I get for no cheddar? Hell yeah,
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: you look like you eat cheese a lot too.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: He's like, a little bit?
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: You gotta poop right now, you can't though. He be
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: on the toilet like, if I could just get something
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: to make it come out.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Shit.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: So there's a couple too, right here, the lady in
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: the pink. Pretty little, I like how you, I like
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: your get up right there. And so who is he?
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Is that your neighbor or something? You just found him outside,
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: said I got one more ticket. He just came in like,
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: I rang my bell already, come on. That's your husband? Oh,
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: you giving back to the community? You killing him. No,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: you can't even put your arm around.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Ain't that a bitch? What I'm getting at is that
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: you ugly.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Y'all making noises like ugly people don't know they ugly.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: Like he woke up this morning like. She was like,
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: shut your ugly ass up. Come get some of this. No,
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: you're not ugly. The longer I look at you, the
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: more normal you look.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: But at first glance, I was like, oh, shit. It's
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: a caveman. What's your name? Justin. Nice to meet you.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: And your queen? Crystal. How long y'all been together? 17 years.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: I like that for you. High school sweethearts?
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: No.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: How'd you meet? Neighbors.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: What the fuck did I say? I said, is this
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: your neighbor? Because he just don't look like she found him.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: He look like he just showed up. You want some
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: chocolate or something? I stole them from a lady in
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: a wheelchair. She was riding six hours.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Let's keep moving around. I'm liking this. It's a lot
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: of couples, huh? I saw somebody a minute ago.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I lost track. Right there. The brother in the suit
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: and the little do-rag. What is that?
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Are you a Baptist Muslim? You from the Nation of
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: Islam AME Church? You look like you don't eat pork
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: when people looking.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Here, let me get some extra bacon.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: You look like that dude that used to come on
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: BET real late. God! I don't remember his name. He's like,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: you want to go? Is this your Easter suit? You ready.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: What's your name? You got pink everything with the black
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: under that. Who are you? Wayne? Red?
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: Like the color with two Ds. You've been saying that
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: your whole life, huh? Red like the color with two Ds.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: And who's that next to you nodding in the grins?
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Like that's what we call her.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: That's baby? Baby? Your wife? Your woman? Your woman. You
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: trying to turn this, trying to take it up another notch? Lie.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: We are in public. You too honest. You want to
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: take it up another notch? He's like, shit. What day
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: is it?
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Y'all look good together, you might as well say fuck it.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: You're too old to still be playing around anyway.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: You got bitches and high blood pressure, that don't make
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: no sense. Calm your ass down and go home to
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: your woman. What do you do for money, Red?
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: With two Ds. Huh? Truck driver.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, you own the truck? Getting money, I need $ 100,
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: I don't want to talk about it. You just slide
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: it to me. You had that lady bring it up
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: here with the titties next to you. You had her
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: bring me the money.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay. How big is your truck?
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: 18?
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: More than that? What you got?
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: 18.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: What you hauling? Everything. Look at Bobby and Whitney. I
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: need some crack and an undershirt. Everything. Okay.
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: How long you and your friend been... Are you boyfriend, girlfriend?
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: What's the title? Ain't no title?
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: Just having fun. Keeping it loose, light, having fun. No responsibility.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Don't want your wife to find out. What'd they yell out?
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Lot lizard?
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, fuck him. She look too good to be a
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: lot lizard, bitch. I got your back. You understand? Plus,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: he not finna be fighting me and eating pork at
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: the same time. Don't fucking shoot me and eat bacon.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: This shit crispy, baby.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: What do you say?
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Lot lizards never look that good? Well, let's not get
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: carried away.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I've seen some lot lizards that'll make you stay the
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: night at the lot.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: You be like, I'm supposed to be there tomorrow at four,
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: but I can get there at 4.15.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: That's all I'm gonna need. Okay. Is this your family?
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: If you keep going. Y'all don't know each other? You
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: two know each other. Is this rock paper? What? If
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: you watch me enough, you know I'm trying to figure
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: out what's going on. Rock paper. And that's how lesbians...
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you.