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"HEALING VOICES, NAVIGATING THROUGH GRIEF" · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, May I have your attention please? The
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: show starts in ten lie eight, seven, six, five, four,
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  Speaker 1: three two one.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Go.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, hello, and welcome, Welcome, Welcome to the Healing.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: Voice navigating through brief y'all.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: It is our last podcast, y'all. Let us know where
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: a little thirtieth y'all, we have what I guess I
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: had it on our play Let me turn that out
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: because it's drawn in my ears. But welcome, welcome, welcome, y'all.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: I tell you, this has truly, truly, truly been a journey.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: This has been a journey. It has been an experience.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: I hope those that have tuned in have been blessed
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: by some of the things that we have shared.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: I think I have Charda here with me.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna bring Charda on in the studio and her
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: interviews herself for y'all for those that don't know me,
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: while I go ahead and bring Charareda in for those
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: that don't know me.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: I am the visionary of this podcast.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: I am also the visionary of Aspiring Off this magazine,
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: which is a sponsor of this podcast. I tell you,
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: it's truly has been an amazing three years. I tell
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: you while we decided to add Grief a Grief podcast
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: because oftentimes we don't have shows on the fifth day
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: of whatever whatever it is. When we have them fifth days,
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  Speaker 3: we usually don't have individuals to cover those shows. So
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: we had an opportunity to extend our reach and our opportunity.
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  Speaker 3: So we had an opportunity to, you know, utilize those
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  Speaker 3: those days and come on and share a little bit
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  Speaker 3: about grief as we know it. I tell you there's
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  Speaker 3: so many definitions for grief and so many perspectives on grief,
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  Speaker 3: but as we know it individually. So I want to
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: go ahead and bring up Chareda.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: If you don't know who I.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: Am, look go ahead and google me. Go ahead and
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: go over to Mila three. I am the Queen up
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  Speaker 3: collaboration Angela, Thomas Smith and Chareda. Welcome, Welcome, How are
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: you this evening?
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  Speaker 2: Welcome to you too. I am doing good.
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: I am feeling much better than I had been. I
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  Speaker 5: am the host of Believing the Journey podcast on the
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  Speaker 5: Crew Family Network. I say family Network because we're all
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  Speaker 5: family and we have grown closer over the last three years,
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: and we are about.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: To be going into year number four.
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  Speaker 5: So that's a blessing in itself. And we're expanding and
• 3:31
  Speaker 5: we want those who are gifted in speaking and reaching
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: the audience through the message that God gives you, we
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: would like to have you part of the team.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: Definitely, definitely, definitely, I'm telling you space is filling up.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: We have a couple more spaces, but I want every
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: day Sunday through Friday cover. We don't whole shows on Saturdays.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: On Saturday is our rest date. That's that's the last
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: day of the week on the calendar, so for the
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: for the calendar week. So we utilize that to take
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  Speaker 3: our time off to rest and time and to do
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: those things that we enjoy doing. But you can guarantee
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: you're gonna have somebody on every night Sunday through Friday
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: at eight pm so that you guys, can you know,
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: get the latest news, see what's going on in the
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: book world, what's going on in the real world. All
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: over the world, because we we we be in India,
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: we be in Pakistan, we be everywhere, we be everywhere where.
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  Speaker 3: Somebody has a story where somebody is believing in their journey,
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  Speaker 3: or somebody may feel like they have been delayed but
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: not denied or somebody may have a book that they
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: want to share, but somebody may just want to come
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: on and share about the basis of light after dark
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: for things that they can't talk about while their kids
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: are And then we got.
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  Speaker 4: We have an ray.
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  Speaker 3: We have an a ray over here, so you have
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  Speaker 3: an opportunity to really, you know, get to know the
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  Speaker 3: hosts as well as you get to know some amazing
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: guests that come on and share their story and their
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  Speaker 3: transparency and opportunity to impact lives, like tell them what
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  Speaker 3: our model is.
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  Speaker 5: We are the change that we want to see. So
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  Speaker 5: if you are a part of that and you see
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  Speaker 5: things that you want to change, be the voice, because
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  Speaker 5: we are that voice and we make a difference in
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  Speaker 5: the world because we follow God's instructions.
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  Speaker 6: Definitely, I'm telling you, Okay, do you hear that it's bad?
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  Speaker 4: Where did they go?
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  Speaker 6: I don't know, Okay, I heard it.
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  Speaker 3: It might have been on my end because okay, but yeah,
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  Speaker 3: we have a variety of shows individuals able to you know,
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  Speaker 3: express their perspective and to share how they got through
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  Speaker 3: and to share their expert to you. And that's what
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  Speaker 3: it's about. You know, we are supposed to be helped
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  Speaker 3: makes one to another.
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  Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, and that's what we do.
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  Speaker 5: Like it's not just an individual it's a family and
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  Speaker 5: group effort. And anytime you're feeling down, although, you got
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  Speaker 5: somebody that's in your corner that can actually pull you
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  Speaker 5: out of whatever it is that they're going through, because
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  Speaker 5: not only have they probably experienced it, they may currently
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  Speaker 5: be going through it. And you got a shoulder to
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  Speaker 5: lean on, an ear that has some advice because we
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  Speaker 5: range from all different areas and even in age and
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  Speaker 5: everything in life experience. So you got somebody that's there
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  Speaker 5: that can help you through whatever it is that you
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  Speaker 5: are facing and going through.
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  Speaker 3: Most definitely, most definitely, I tell you, just being able
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  Speaker 3: to reflect and share, you know, maybe the things that
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  Speaker 3: we went through.
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  Speaker 4: I tell you, I have a.
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  Speaker 3: New thing that I am noticing that I am grieving
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  Speaker 3: for those that may not know. I was pupuke and
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  Speaker 3: it affected my legs. So you know, sometimes you want
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  Speaker 3: to be strong, you want to press, you want to
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  Speaker 3: be that superwoman or whatever, but you know, I'm realizing
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  Speaker 3: that my body ain't the body it was ten fifteen
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  Speaker 3: years ago, right, and you know you lost some of
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  Speaker 3: that and you got to come to grasp it it
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  Speaker 3: that you know, you ain't never gonna get it's never
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  Speaker 3: gonna be one hundred percent.
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  Speaker 5: Again, right, And I agree with that completely. Like it
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  Speaker 5: didn't hit me until the other day. Well, it's probably
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  Speaker 5: been about a month ago now. I was sitting in
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  Speaker 5: my car and I was just thinking about the person
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  Speaker 5: I am now and the person I was pre my
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  Speaker 5: stroke or whatever, and then it hit me because I
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  Speaker 5: just recently lost my aunt and I was thinking about
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  Speaker 5: losing my mom and everything, and you know, you become
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  Speaker 5: a different version of yourself, but I never thought about
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  Speaker 5: becoming a different version of myself after having my stroke.
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  Speaker 5: So I never grieved for that person and the person
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  Speaker 5: that I've become. I just had to go with the
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  Speaker 5: punches and go with, you know, everything that was happening
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  Speaker 5: after that. So I never took the time to appreciate
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  Speaker 5: the woman that I was before the stroke to becoming
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  Speaker 5: the woman that I am post stroke, If that made sense, right.
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  Speaker 3: You know, I look at a lot of different individuals.
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  Speaker 3: I know, individuals that you know, they used to can see,
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  Speaker 3: but now they can't see they lost their sight. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: having to adjust to that, Like that's a grief, that's
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  Speaker 3: a grieving process. People think this may be going through depression.
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  Speaker 3: It's way much more than depression. Yeah, you you lost
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  Speaker 3: something that you're not you're not going to get back,
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  Speaker 3: you know that's right, that that you just can never
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  Speaker 3: you never get it back, like when you lose those
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  Speaker 3: things that can never be recovered. Like people really don't understand.
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  Speaker 3: But I I just come to realize that that was real.
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  Speaker 3: You know, we often we don't think about a lot
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  Speaker 3: of times that we grieve.
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  Speaker 4: In different ways than a physical loss of a person.
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 3: No, it's so much more than a physical loss of
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  Speaker 3: a person. You think about losing a job that you've
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  Speaker 3: been on for fifty years, and you sixty years old,
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  Speaker 3: seventy years old, and now they talk about learning a
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  Speaker 3: new skill. That's something that you will never be able
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  Speaker 3: to get back. You'll never be able to get back
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  Speaker 3: that experience that you had when you was thirty and
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  Speaker 3: forty years old, right, Like those things that cannot be reversed.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, And we don't talk about that enough.
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  Speaker 5: We only talk about grief and the sense of losing
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  Speaker 5: a loved one.
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  Speaker 2: We don't talk about the.
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  Speaker 5: Grief of long friendship, a job, a body part, a
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  Speaker 5: way of life. We don't talk about grief and those aspects.
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  Speaker 5: It only comes becomes a subject and a topic of
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  Speaker 5: discussion when we are more than the loss of a
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  Speaker 5: loved one and it's sad.
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  Speaker 2: But that's that has.
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  Speaker 5: To change, and this is why we are doing this podcast,
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  Speaker 5: so that we can actually have dialogue about grief and
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  Speaker 5: the many areas that it covers and that it touches.
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  Speaker 3: I see a lot of people just they don't understand.
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  Speaker 3: They really don't understand. They like that thing that they
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  Speaker 3: went through to help the next person. M h, Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: that thing hit me. Hit me, lat it ain't hit
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  Speaker 3: me last week. I was thinking about it last week.
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  Speaker 3: You know, it's been what twenty fourteen, so it's been.
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  Speaker 5: So Yeah, and it hits you a ton of bricks.
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  Speaker 5: I will say that because it's a thought that you
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  Speaker 5: never take a moment to realize that you are grieving
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  Speaker 5: the loss of who you were, the loss of being
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  Speaker 5: able to use your body in the way that you
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  Speaker 5: were before it happened.
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  Speaker 2: And while you're in it, you don't really.
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  Speaker 7: Think about it.
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  Speaker 3: You to keep going because you gotta be strong, you
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  Speaker 3: gotta you know, you can't stop, because if you stop,
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  Speaker 3: you know that you may lose traction, so you keep
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  Speaker 3: going because you don't want to lose what you work
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  Speaker 3: hard for.
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  Speaker 4: And in whatever other people reasons may be.
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  Speaker 3: But you know a lot of us we don't think
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  Speaker 3: about that, and again we push it off on the prayer.
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  Speaker 3: You know, we were so easy to label what they
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: consider a mental illness. You know, always what's wrong with us?
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  Speaker 3: Why in the case when sometimes we are going through
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  Speaker 3: that process, like it's five stages of that process, and.
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  Speaker 4: You can keep you can keep going through it over
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  Speaker 4: and over and over and.
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  Speaker 3: Over until you leave here, because you're going to these
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  Speaker 3: experiences that we have. It's like we got to have
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  Speaker 3: them so that we can be able to help somebody
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  Speaker 3: else that go through them. Everything that we have experienced,
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  Speaker 3: it's been necessary.
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  Speaker 4: It's hold us into who we are.
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  Speaker 7: Yeah, there's a purpose for everything that we go through.
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  Speaker 2: It is connected to the greater.
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  Speaker 7: Good of God's purpose.
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  Speaker 2: And while we were.
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  Speaker 7: Created and I think a lot of times.
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  Speaker 5: We get lost and thinking that our rainy days don't
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  Speaker 5: have a purpose. But our rainy days are connected to
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  Speaker 5: the purpose in which we were created. And so we
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  Speaker 5: have to get.
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  Speaker 2: Through those things.
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  Speaker 5: And you know, the storms they're gonna come, and then
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  Speaker 5: sometimes we get stuck and staying where it's raining and
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  Speaker 5: storming the most because we don't see that the rain
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  Speaker 5: eventually stops. If we keep moving forward, we don't have
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  Speaker 5: to stay in the storm. But we don't realize that
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  Speaker 5: as long as we keep going, God is going to
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  Speaker 5: provide everything that we need.
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  Speaker 2: We just have to keep moving forward.
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  Speaker 5: And we get stuck and we're like, we're so drenched
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  Speaker 5: with the weight of what we're going through that we
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  Speaker 5: don't keep moving. And we have to keep moving because
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  Speaker 5: everything that God puts us through, he has a reason
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  Speaker 5: for it. Like I always say, everything that we have
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  Speaker 5: is a puzzle piece that is going to connect to
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: the other things. So whatever storm somebody may be going
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  Speaker 5: through right now, it's connected to the greater good. You
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  Speaker 5: trust God, and a lot of people don't want to
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: trust God.
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  Speaker 3: Now.
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  Speaker 5: I have this little conversation that I had with God
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  Speaker 5: the other day, and it was basically this. You know,
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  Speaker 5: people will say whatever they want to say, and they
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: be like, well, God's not hearing from me, you know,
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  Speaker 5: And I've been praying and he's.
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  Speaker 2: Just not answering my prayers.
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  Speaker 5: He's not doing what I thought he was going to do,
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: they said, if I talked him, Okay, yeah, but you're
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  Speaker 5: not taking the time to sit and listen.
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  Speaker 2: To hear from God.
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  Speaker 5: You're wanting him to answer in a way that you've
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  Speaker 5: already preconceived the answer. But God never answers us the
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  Speaker 5: way that we choose for him to answer us. He
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  Speaker 5: chooses to answer us in the way that he knows
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  Speaker 5: is going to shape us for the purpose that he
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  Speaker 5: created us. And so we get so lost in not
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  Speaker 5: hearing him when he's clearly hurt us and he's answered
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  Speaker 5: in the way that's going to mold us, in shape
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  Speaker 5: us in the way that he created us.
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  Speaker 2: But we get so busy trying.
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  Speaker 5: To do his job for him that we don't hear
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  Speaker 5: him or see his hand and what he has going
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  Speaker 5: on for us.
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  Speaker 4: That part.
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  Speaker 2: Like I was talking to my son the other day.
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  Speaker 5: I was talking to Nate and we were talking about
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  Speaker 5: death because I lost my great aunt October to twenty fifth,
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  Speaker 5: and we were talking about how the only time death
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  Speaker 5: is really talked about, as far as the life cycle
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  Speaker 5: goes is when someone passes, and it's sad, but it
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  Speaker 5: is part of the life cycle. Everybody has an expiration date,
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  Speaker 5: and we don't know when the day nor the hour.
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  Speaker 5: Only God knows the expiration day and the time limit
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  Speaker 5: that He's put on us here. And so some of
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  Speaker 5: us fulfill our purpose before we think that we fulfill it.
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  Speaker 5: But God already put a timetable on what we were
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  Speaker 5: supposed to do here. And even in the deaths that
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  Speaker 5: we see, that's been their life expectancy of those that
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  Speaker 5: God placed here. So we have to start looking at
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  Speaker 5: life and death as family because they are. They go
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  Speaker 5: hand in hand. You can't live life and not expect
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: death to come because it's going to touch you.
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  Speaker 2: Death is that thing that you know, it's.
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  Speaker 5: The beautiful lie that we don't we don't talk about.
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  Speaker 2: You know.
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  Speaker 5: It is part of the life cycle. It's part of
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: the journey. We all have an estimating time. We're all
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  Speaker 5: on borrow time, and we have to give God his his.
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  Speaker 2: His due deal with on what we do.
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  Speaker 5: And if you're gonna live for God, you gotta be
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  Speaker 5: willing to actually sit down and listen to what he's
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  Speaker 5: telling you and don't be so arrogant and thinking that.
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  Speaker 2: You're above his instructions.
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  Speaker 3: Right right, we have to we have to be patient,
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  Speaker 3: and then you gotta listen, because he said that he answered,
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  Speaker 3: He answered the prayers when they come up, so as
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  Speaker 3: soon as he already know, don't work it out. Just
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: like you said in the beginning, it is not how
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: we perceive it to be, how we think it's supposed
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: to be. Then sometimes we think he's not hearing us
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: when he's already answered the prayer for us.
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  Speaker 4: We just didn't want to receive what he gave us.
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  Speaker 2: And we get.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, we give ourselves a preconceived answer, and that's that
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: goes in conversation. You know, when you're talking to somebody
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: about something and they come to you for advice, and
• 19:03
  Speaker 5: the instant you are in disagreement with something that they're saying,
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: they already got an attitude or whatever. And it's like
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  Speaker 5: you already gave yourself the answer you were hoping to hear.
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  Speaker 2: And since you didn't hear that, now you mad at me.
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  Speaker 5: But you asked me, you know what I thought, how
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: I felt about the situation, and since it didn't lie
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: with what you said, now you got an attitude with me.
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  Speaker 4: That that's that's that's how it is.
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: I tell you, this has truly been a journey. I
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: think we had five or shows.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. I think it was mm hmm.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you has been a journey just being able
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: to talk about, you know, those steps and the processes
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: and in our journey. For each one of those, I know,
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  Speaker 3: shock is one of them. Denying, it's one of them
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  Speaker 3: under acception. This one, it's a total fire, being angry,
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  Speaker 3: angry as one and bargaining. I think it's the last one.
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  Speaker 3: But of course it's not in order, because that's what
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: they can come in any order, but they have them
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: listed in the order. But I tell you, you may
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: go through acceptance first and then after after a while,
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: you may be shocked because hey, you you accepted it
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: so quick you didn't get to, you know, go through
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: You didn't get to feel how you needed to feel.
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: That's why I tell people it's okay to feel how
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: you feel. Just don't stay there too long.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, cycles.
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  Speaker 5: You know you're gonna repeat that cycle over and over
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: again and over.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: It's not a storm like storms never end. We have
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: to understand that we just moved from them, just like
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: you were saying.
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: When we on the road and we.
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  Speaker 3: Come upon a storm or storm come upon us, whichever
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  Speaker 3: way it happens. Because You can perceive it one way,
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: and I can perceive it another way. You can say
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  Speaker 3: we can we we ran up on the storm, or
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: you can say the storm, or you can say the
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  Speaker 3: storm came upon us.
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  Speaker 4: Well, either way, you know, we was in a storm.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: And yeah, people, you know that there's three phases of
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: a storm because a storm never ends.
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: Energy never dies, so storm can never end. They just
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: keep moving, Yeah, move from place to place to place
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: to place.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: The place when we don't hear aboudy because ain't nobody
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: living out in the sea. But that storm still going
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: on out there, still causing damage, still just going on.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: But never we can't starve because of a storm. You know.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: I often used to say, well, why they stopped up
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: under the bridge for the weighted out?
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: They say, the wait it out? I say, but if
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: you keep going.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: I always had this thing like if if I see
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: a that's half half four to me, right, it's had
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: full to me because guess what I can I can
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: utilize what's in there.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: There sit Yep, It's all about this space.
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: And you know one thing that I have gotten so
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: used to doing is like I made the post the
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: other day that I'm not in the position of protecting
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: my peace, you know, and people don't understand that, and
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: it's it's basically, I'm not in the in the space
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: of protecting my peace. You are in a space to
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: where your chaos controls you, so you can't find peace.
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: And so since you can't find peace, it's not my job.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: To create that for you, you know.
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: And so anybody who is upset that I have found
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: peace and I can't give that to them. You gotta
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: find but your chaos is and find the peace within that.
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: You have to create the peace that you're searching for.
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: And so everybody always said, well, I'm protecting my piece,
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: I'm protecting my piece. Well maybe your peace should never
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: have to be protected. It's their chaos that needs to
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: be regulated. And when they regulate their chaos, then they
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: will too find peace. So you should never be trying
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: to control your peace are protected in any sense, because
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: if you are already found your piece in the midst
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: of your own chaos, you're never going to have to
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: protect it from anybody or anything.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: That's like that's like joy.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: Away taking away, right.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: So when when you have that type of peace, you know,
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: you can be mad, you can be sad, you can
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: be glad, you can be happy, you can be out
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: those different emotions and be at peace which emotion you're
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: experiencing at that moment, because it too share past. You
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: still can be at peace because it's not gonna last forever.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Yeah, exactly, And that's.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: That's that's how I guess I begin to kind of
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: deal with grief knowing that you know, it's okay for
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: me to feel this way. Just don't stay there alone, like,
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: don't don't be especially the negative faith that the phases
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: that will bring you down and the phases that would
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: want you to stay in a certain way, those are
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: the ones that you gotta you know, you have to
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: check and maybe you need an accountability to partner, somebody
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: that you can call and you know, check on, check
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: in with, you know, let them go. You know what's
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: going on on this phase? How am I feeling on
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: this pace? Why am I feeling like that? All we
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: need to do is just talk to somebody, yeap, And.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: You got to give yourself permission to feel that.
• 25:07
  Speaker 5: And that's one thing that I can say that my son,
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: I swear he's been here before. He's an old soul
• 25:14
  Speaker 5: and when I was dealing with mom and before she
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: transitioned over, I came home and I guess the weight
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: of what I had been dealing with and watching her
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: and everything. And he was like, MA, just let it out.
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: And I was like, I don't necessarily know how. He
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: was like, you carry this so much, and you always
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: being so strong, even when, like even when I.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Got sick and had my stroke, and he was so.
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: Young, and he was like, even in those moments, you've
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: never stopped to allow yourself to feel any emotion because
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: you were so concerned with me, my brother, my sister
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: and everyone else and now Granny. And you have to
• 25:58
  Speaker 5: give yourself permission to feel every emotion as it comes.
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: And if you need to cry right now, a cry
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: and a bath form where I don't see you, or
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: whatever it is, you need to let that go so
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: that you don't you don't weigh yourself down. You gotta
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: express that, you gotta let it go. And so from
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: that moment on, I started to give myself permission to
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: feel the emotions as they came.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: And if I want to cry, I cried, I.
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: Want to yell, I yell, if I want to do
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: whatever it is in that moment I do that. And
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: then the other thing was after my mom passed, I
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: didn't take the time to grieve her. I went right
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: back into my normal routine. And that was a huge
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: mistake because it cost me a couple of nights in
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: the hospital because I did not take the time to
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: actually and take what had just happened, you know, and
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: that was not a good thing, and my body actually
• 27:04
  Speaker 5: shut down on me, like I ended up in the
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: hospital for like three days. And so you have to
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: give yourself the permission to feel the emotions as they
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: come and have somebody that can listen and be that shoulder.
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: And sometimes you don't want anybody to say anything, You
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: just want them to hear you.
• 27:26
  Speaker 8: And that listening in a way when you're dealing with
• 27:32
  Speaker 8: and when you're doing with and the feelings.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: That are coming up.
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: Won't understand how much it helps to have somebody to
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: listen to what you're going through and what you're saying
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: and how you're feeling, because we're all.
• 27:51
  Speaker 7: Going through something.
• 27:54
  Speaker 5: And to have a listening ear and to give yourself
• 27:58
  Speaker 5: that permission.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: To feel whatever emotion is coming up.
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: If it's anger, if it's frustration, if it's chaos if
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: it's joy happiness, because you know, identifying the triggers of
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: what comes with grief, because that's another thing you There's.
• 28:17
  Speaker 7: A sin, there's a smell, there's a conversation, there's a
• 28:22
  Speaker 7: sound of song and music, the weather, all of those
• 28:27
  Speaker 7: things come up and it'll trigger memory, thought, feeling, and
• 28:35
  Speaker 7: sometimes you.
• 28:36
  Speaker 5: Might try to ignore it. And then you've got those
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: people who try to keep themselves busy, mind, body, and
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: everything else so that they don't have to feel the emotion.
• 28:45
  Speaker 7: But one thing about grief, it doesn't care what you've
• 28:47
  Speaker 7: got to do.
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: It's going to find you, and when it finds you,
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: you go release it whether you want to or not.
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: Grief don't care nothing about your schedule. It don't care
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: nothing about you being busy, and don't care nothing about
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: what you got plan to do. When it catches you,
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: you're going to release those emotions. Then God forbid. It
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: doesn't put you into space to where you're turning to
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: drugs or alcohol.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Or you know, anger in a overwhelming situation.
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: But in a way that allows you a healthy release,
• 29:33
  Speaker 5: because grief is going to catch you no matter how
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: strong you think you are, and no matter how much
• 29:39
  Speaker 5: you think that you don't have to deal with those feelings.
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: It's going to catch you and you're going to have
• 29:45
  Speaker 5: to release it. And it's okay. It's okay to release
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: those feelings. It's okay to say today I'm not okay.
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: I'm grieving, you know this situation. I'm grieving this friendship
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: out of grieving this job that I lost. I'm grieving
• 30:06
  Speaker 5: the person that I was two years ago. I'm grieving
• 30:09
  Speaker 5: you know, my favorite pain. I can't use it no
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: more as burnout. So whatever it is, no matter how
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: it's significant it may seem to someone else, if it's
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: important to you and you need to do something to
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: release those feelings, do that and there's nothing wrong with doing.
• 30:30
  Speaker 9: It because you're going to have those feelings and it's important,
• 30:41
  Speaker 9: like all of those feelings are valid, likes, those feelings
• 30:46
  Speaker 9: are necessary so that you can be able to express
• 30:50
  Speaker 9: to somebody else.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: You know, how did you get through that? How did
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: you overcome that? And share with them how they can
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: do it? You know, I hear you out of time
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: say that. You hear you hate when people say that
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: God will never put more on you than you can bear.
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: Because that's what he will do. Because he already know everything.
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: Sometimes we just have to change the way we say
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: stuff because the way we definitely can affect the manifestation
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: of the things that do happen in our lives. So
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: we have to be careful with but we will. We're
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: saying out our minds because Moufe is powerful. We really
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: have to stand how powerful that my feels like. We
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: have power to speak over these situations, you know, speak.
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: To those things. And not only that you.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: We we now have the opportunity where we can go
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: he not necessarily laying on the couch, but you can
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: feel if you want to lay down. They got caltured,
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: some of them got couches. But you can go talk
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: to somebody. You can go and talk to a professional,
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: someone that has studied this, someone that you know wants
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: to make sure that you're okay, that you are going
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: through these processes, that you are able to these things,
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: because guess what, every one of them are valid, every
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: one of them are necessary, every one of them definitely
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: can help somebody else. And absolutely sometimes sometimes we may
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: not we might not be ready to go through it.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: So we put on that stroll front because I know
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: my mom is going thirty. My mom died and she
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: passed in ninety one, so she went going a minute.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: She been going a long time, and thirty four years,
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: I think.
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: Thirty four years. So yeah, thirty four years because I'm
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: fifty now.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: And you know, not being able to truly process that
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: until I went through domestic violence. You know, those years
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: I suppressed my my feeldings and emotions by putting on
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: this mask, wearing this mask, by putting up this wall.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: And the wall was I'm just gonna be rude. I'm
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: just gonna be angry. I'm just gonna be mad at
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: the world. Everybody I meet, I'm gonna just be mad
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: at them, just for you know, right, Grief will make
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: you do a lot of things, and that's going through
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: that that that angry phase, you know, that was the
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: angry phase. And then I didn't even understand what it
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: was because I knew nothing about grief, nothing about grief.
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: So guess what.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: I went through that phase for a long time. I
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: went through that phase for most of my high school,
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: for most of my my my my college life, and
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: then it even began to transition into my workplace.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: Mm hm.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: So you know, if you don't deal with these things
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: and experience these things, they will come.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: Back to haunt you.
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so we have to make sure that we are,
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: you know, really truly looking out for ourselves.
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: You know, we want to be strong for the family.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: We want to be strong for you know, the ones.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: That are close to us. But you got to be
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: strong for you so that you can be strong for them.
• 34:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you can't pour from an empty cup. And that's
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: what people don't understand. You gotta have the overflow is
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: what people are supposed to get from you, so that
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: that's what we oftentimes miss is that you running on empty.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: And if you're running on empty, what do you think
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: you're caught on?
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: Run on e So if you're caught on't run on
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: what you think your body's gonna do. It's gonna shut
• 34:39
  Speaker 5: down because the ain't nothing there.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: So everybody around you, if they're not pouring into you,
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: then you know when you need to cut those folks off.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: And you have to do that to preserve yourself. Number one. Also,
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: if you got people.
• 34:55
  Speaker 8: That are you, always have enough of overflowing.
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: So that they can get that.
• 35:04
  Speaker 7: And when they get.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: The overflow, you're never.
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: Into I think another thing that plays a major part
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: into the.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: Journey of grief is forgiveness.
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: Because if you can't forgive yourself, how can you forgive
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: somebody else. And we hold on to grudges.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: For various reasons.
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: And if you're holding on to a grudge because of somebody,
• 35:34
  Speaker 5: that hinders you, that hinders your growth, that hinders your blessings,
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: that hinders a lot of things, and forgiveness, you have
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: to be able to forgive yourself first and stop expecting.
• 35:46
  Speaker 7: People who hurts you to apologize because they don't understand
• 35:51
  Speaker 7: the severity of how they hurt you. Some do, some don't,
• 35:56
  Speaker 7: and some people may never accept accountability or apologized. And
• 36:01
  Speaker 7: sometimes you have to give yourself the apology that you're
• 36:05
  Speaker 7: expecting from someone else to yourself so that you can
• 36:09
  Speaker 7: actually grow and move beyond where they have you stuck at,
• 36:14
  Speaker 7: because you can stay stuck in a place of unforgiveness
• 36:19
  Speaker 7: and you won't move from that because you're still looking
• 36:23
  Speaker 7: at them through the hurt.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: That they caused.
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: And when you're able to forgive them and move forward,
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: you're not stuck on yesterday anymore. You forgive them and
• 36:35
  Speaker 5: move on because they're speaking good at night, they're doing
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: whatever it is that they need to be hood and
• 36:40
  Speaker 5: you still over there being angry and bitter of what
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: they did and what they cause. You don't never have
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: to speak to this person again. But if you're still
• 36:49
  Speaker 5: holding on to the hurt, the lives or whatever, you're
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: hindering yourself from actually truly receiving everything that God has
• 36:59
  Speaker 5: for you. Doesn't mean that they have to keep you,
• 37:02
  Speaker 5: have to keep in contact, they have to gain access
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: to you again, or anything like that. But forgive those
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: people and move forward. Don't be holding on and being
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: angry and bitter. And I've had people ask me a
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: lot of time since Brad, my ex husband, and I
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: we are actually able to have conversations and be in
• 37:23
  Speaker 5: the same space and be in the same room and
• 37:27
  Speaker 5: all of that. And like his son, he has another
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: child outside of the three that we have together, and
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: people would not understand how I would allow this child
• 37:38
  Speaker 5: to be in my home. And I never had an
• 37:42
  Speaker 5: issue with the child at all, and I never really
• 37:47
  Speaker 5: had an issue with the new girlfriend either. It was
• 37:53
  Speaker 5: the fact of the lives that he was telling and
• 37:56
  Speaker 5: so people were like, well, how can you allow that child?
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: You just have a conversation, and I'm like, Okay, well,
• 38:05
  Speaker 5: hindering my growth and my relationship with God because I'm
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: angry at the situation. I know him for who he
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: was before everything transpired.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: We still have a friendship.
• 38:18
  Speaker 5: And when I started to focus on the friendship that
• 38:21
  Speaker 5: we had regardless because I was imperfect with him, either,
• 38:25
  Speaker 5: I did my things and had to learn from that,
• 38:30
  Speaker 5: but I also had to forgive myself. And so when
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: I was able to do that, I was able to
• 38:36
  Speaker 5: let go of being angry and being bitter, and so
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: we are able to have a conversation. Him and my
• 38:43
  Speaker 5: fiance were out there having a conversation a couple of
• 38:46
  Speaker 5: weeks ago, and I was telling the kids about it,
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: and they were like, Okay, y'all are weird. But it's
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: not weird to me, and it's not weird to him,
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: are their dad. It's just the fact that we've grown
• 39:03
  Speaker 5: in a space to where that animosity is not there.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: We are adults.
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: And his son has always been welcome in my home,
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: spending the night doing you know, he knows that I
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: may not.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: Have birthed him, but he's still my child.
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: And when you're in this household, you're gonna do what
• 39:25
  Speaker 5: you're supposed to do. And you know, I've never understood
• 39:30
  Speaker 5: the bitter baby mama are that kind of mentality? I
• 39:36
  Speaker 5: just I personally could never relate to that because I've
• 39:39
  Speaker 5: never been that way. All I ever wanted was for
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: him to do right by his children. Now that they
• 39:46
  Speaker 5: are older, they are entitled to build that relationship however
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: they see fit. But even still, like I told my
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: daughter the other day that she has to forgive her
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: dad for or whatever she's still harboring against him, because
• 40:05
  Speaker 5: as long as she keeps holding on to what she
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: feels is hurt, she's never gonna have the relationship that
• 40:13
  Speaker 5: she wants to have with him. And she's like, but Mom,
• 40:18
  Speaker 5: I'm like, nah, I don't.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: I don't want to hear these excuses.
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: You keep talking about how you want a better relationship
• 40:27
  Speaker 5: with him, but you block him from building that with him.
• 40:30
  Speaker 5: So it's not up to him. He's extended the olive branch.
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: It's up to you to actually extend it to where
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: you can catch it and y'all can grow together. And
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: I said, because you don't want it to be a
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: time when he's no longer here, and you wish that
• 40:47
  Speaker 5: you had said what you've wanted to say, I said,
• 40:51
  Speaker 5: because your daddy and I aren't getting any younger, we're
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: getting older, so there are more days behind us than
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: we have ahead of us. And if you really want
• 41:00
  Speaker 5: to build something with him while there is time, you
• 41:04
  Speaker 5: don't know how much that is, but you're going to
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: have to forgive him for whatever it is that you're
• 41:10
  Speaker 5: harboring against him so that y'all can build together going forward,
• 41:18
  Speaker 5: you know. And that was a conversation that we had
• 41:20
  Speaker 5: on Thanksgiving. Actually, you know, but a lot of people
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: don't want to forgive because they rather hold on because
• 41:30
  Speaker 5: it gives them a sense of control, but it really doesn't.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: You're not controlling anything. You're hindering yourself from actually feeling
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: and healing and growing and moving forward in.
• 41:44
  Speaker 7: Loving the time.
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: That you have left because you don't know how much
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: time you got left exactly.
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: Create memories.
• 41:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so you got to create the memories with the
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: time that you have and wasting time arguing, wasting time
• 41:58
  Speaker 5: being angry, wasting time being mad over something that is
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: really insignificant. And then when they're gone, you're gonna be saying, oh, well,
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: I wish I had well, you had time, but you
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: chose to be angry with the time that you had.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: That doesn't make sense.
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: You have to definitely utilize that time. Can't just sit
• 42:24
  Speaker 4: there and wish and then like you say you would
• 42:28
  Speaker 4: have put a sugar be done. You can't get back
• 42:32
  Speaker 4: that time like time.
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: Really, you know you you have to make the use
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: of these moments, So give it to the fullest. You know,
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: feel how you feel when you feel. But just don't
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: stay there too long because guess what, You're not promised.
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: Tomorrow exactly get here.
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: No, it never gets here, so you're never You're not
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: promised tomorrow.
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: So give each live for the moment. If you gotta be.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: If you got to cry your way through these five minutes,
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: cry your way through these five minutes, because the next
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: five minutes, next five minutes, maybe feel with joy, maybe
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: feel with overwhelming happiness. It may be filled with just
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: different different things other than what you're feeling right now.
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: You got to be willing to trust the process and
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: then go through the process.
• 43:23
  Speaker 4: So a lot of us do want to get from
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: point A and go straight to D. And we don't
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: skipp it over B and C when necessary to help
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: us to get to D. But we said get the D.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: We don't miss everything that we were supposed to get
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: in b and everything we were supposed to get in.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: C mm hmm, like you can't go.
• 43:43
  Speaker 5: I always tell my kids, you can't go to the
• 43:46
  Speaker 5: top of the steps without hitting that first step at
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: the bottom. So if you want to get to the
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: top of the steps, you got to start at the
• 43:52
  Speaker 5: bottom step and work your way up.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: And will it be hard.
• 43:56
  Speaker 5: Some days, Yes, it's gonna be hard some days, but
• 43:59
  Speaker 5: you gotta be willing to go through that. You know.
• 44:02
  Speaker 7: I've been in pain since Thanksgiving and I.
• 44:07
  Speaker 5: Thank God that I'm still here to feel the pain now.
• 44:11
  Speaker 5: Is it uncomfortable, Yes, it's very uncomfortable, but I've been
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: able to keep moving and going through everything because I'm
• 44:24
  Speaker 5: grateful that I'm still able to feel the pain here.
• 44:27
  Speaker 5: I'm annoyed by it.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, but.
• 44:32
  Speaker 7: I wouldn't have it any.
• 44:33
  Speaker 5: Other way, because if I'm not here to feel the pain,
• 44:38
  Speaker 5: that I know that I'm not here anymore. And so
• 44:44
  Speaker 5: I've learned to be okay with the pain because I'm
• 44:48
  Speaker 5: able to feel it. And I'm grateful because since the
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: year two thousand and nine, I have spent at least
• 44:58
  Speaker 5: one or two if sometimes three overnight visits in the
• 45:03
  Speaker 5: hospital like staying overnight, but by God's grace and his mercy,
• 45:08
  Speaker 5: he has kept me out of the hospital for an
• 45:12
  Speaker 5: overnight stay. I have not been since my mom died,
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: So it's been two years that I have not had
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: an overnight stay in the hospital, and that's been since
• 45:23
  Speaker 5: two thousand and nine.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: And I'm grateful.
• 45:26
  Speaker 5: You know, it may seem small to somebody, but for me,
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: that's a major thing, because if you have been in
• 45:32
  Speaker 5: the hospital and staying overnight consistently at least one to two,
• 45:37
  Speaker 5: if not four times throughout a year, it's a good thing.
• 45:42
  Speaker 5: It's a blessing to be able to say that. And
• 45:46
  Speaker 5: it didn't dawn on me until a couple months ago
• 45:50
  Speaker 5: when I was sitting here and I was like, you know,
• 45:54
  Speaker 5: because last year I had to go to the hospital,
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: but I didn't have to stay. I was having issue
• 46:00
  Speaker 5: with my breathing and I went, but they didn't keep me.
• 46:04
  Speaker 5: They actually sent me home. They got my breathing under control.
• 46:07
  Speaker 5: But I now have to have the rescuing hailer for
• 46:12
  Speaker 5: moments of you know, flare ups with this asthma. And
• 46:20
  Speaker 5: I didn't have to stay overnight, and so I did
• 46:22
  Speaker 5: have to do several rounds of steroid injections and the
• 46:28
  Speaker 5: pretozone and all of that, and it caused me to gain.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: Quite a bit of weight, and I'm slowly working on
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: getting that off.
• 46:35
  Speaker 5: But it's been a challenge, but it's also been a
• 46:38
  Speaker 5: blessing because that moment I could not breathe and it
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: happened suddenly, and it's like, okay, what is this. You know,
• 46:48
  Speaker 5: I was having a conversation with a coworker and I
• 46:51
  Speaker 5: instantly could not breathe, and my oxygen level had went
• 46:55
  Speaker 5: down to eighty two, and we thought we had it
• 46:59
  Speaker 5: under control, and it went okay for like a month
• 47:03
  Speaker 5: or so, and then all of a sudden, it happened
• 47:05
  Speaker 5: again and I ended up having to be sent home
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: from work. And by the time I got home, I
• 47:11
  Speaker 5: was like, okay, well, I'm gonna just try to lay down,
• 47:14
  Speaker 5: and I could not, and by the time I got
• 47:17
  Speaker 5: to the hospital, they were I think I may have
• 47:20
  Speaker 5: been in the waiting room maybe two minutes before they
• 47:23
  Speaker 5: came back there and got me, hooked me up to
• 47:26
  Speaker 5: the oxygen machine, gave me a breathing treatment, and for
• 47:30
  Speaker 5: about an hour got everything under control because my oxygen
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: level was going down and they still don't have a
• 47:37
  Speaker 5: reason as to why that happened.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: But by God, grace and mercy, I'm still here.
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll tell you.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: That's that's that's just.
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: What I'm saying that we just have to be thankful
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: because our matriarch, God's willing. If she make it to January,
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: she'll be one hundred and one.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: Amen.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: Doctor Chan's mom just when she just had turned to
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: one hundred and three.
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: Mm hmm, tell you.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: Wow, I don't know.
• 48:33
  Speaker 5: Like my aunt said, she told us when we were younger,
• 48:37
  Speaker 5: she was like, she was making it to be one
• 48:40
  Speaker 5: hundred years old and after that she didn't want to
• 48:44
  Speaker 5: see anything else because she had lived her life and
• 48:48
  Speaker 5: because she said that her mother lived to be one
• 48:51
  Speaker 5: hundred and seven and her grandmother had lived to be
• 48:55
  Speaker 5: one hundred and twelve, and she was like, she didn't
• 48:57
  Speaker 5: want to be here that long, and she made it
• 49:01
  Speaker 5: till she turned one hundred. She had turned one hundred
• 49:04
  Speaker 5: in April of two thousand and seven, and no in
• 49:10
  Speaker 5: April two thousand and eight. July she passed. July the
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: twenty second of two thousand and eight, she passed, and
• 49:20
  Speaker 5: I was like, well, she told us that's that's as
• 49:22
  Speaker 5: much as she wanted to live, and God fulfilled her
• 49:26
  Speaker 5: wish because she said after that she wasn't nothing left
• 49:30
  Speaker 5: for her to see. She had done everything she needed
• 49:33
  Speaker 5: to do. Now that she caused a lot of hell
• 49:35
  Speaker 5: while she was here, of course.
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: But that's what my great grandfather used to say.
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: He used to tell us all the time he was
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: living in somebody else town.
• 49:49
  Speaker 5: She said she had seen all she needed to see,
• 49:52
  Speaker 5: done all she needed to do, so it was time.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: For her to move on and do it somewhere else. Okay,
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: I won't want to.
• 50:00
  Speaker 5: Be here as long as God has me here, and
• 50:02
  Speaker 5: I want to fulfill the purpose that He has for me.
• 50:05
  Speaker 5: So I want to be able to walk with intention
• 50:08
  Speaker 5: and walk towards the.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: Purpose and right definitely to people connected to so that
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: I belorify Him and everything that I do.
• 50:24
  Speaker 4: That part, but yeah, I think him.
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: You know, only not only do we get to, you know,
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: share our experiences and the things that we go through,
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: but you know, individuals on the other end, you know
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: the fact that you know they may be going through
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: and something that we may say may be able to
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: help them get through what they're going through and then
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: now that they know it, you know, they can share
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: it with somebody else, and then that's how we be
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: to heal the land. You know, start, you know, the
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: fact that we started, that we sacrifice that you know,
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: we're willing to come on here, you know, and you know,
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: share our experiences and share the things that we go through. No,
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: we're not perfect people, no professionals. We're just sharing the
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: things that we have experienced, what we've been through, you know,
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: some of the tips and some of the things that
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: we utilize, you know.
• 51:19
  Speaker 5: Because we are the blue print for somebody else who's
• 51:23
  Speaker 5: going through something, who doesn't see the way out or
• 51:26
  Speaker 5: to see that there's light at the end of the tunnel.
• 51:29
  Speaker 5: But when they can see real people going through real
• 51:32
  Speaker 5: life experiences and seeing that they don't have to stay
• 51:36
  Speaker 5: stuck where they are, they have the power to change
• 51:39
  Speaker 5: it because there's someone else that's on the other side.
• 51:42
  Speaker 5: And I tell people all the time, if you see
• 51:45
  Speaker 5: me and you got something that you feel like, you know,
• 51:49
  Speaker 5: you're afraid to ask me. I'm an open book.
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 51:52
  Speaker 7: If you've got something that you feel like you need.
• 51:55
  Speaker 8: To talk about, just ask because I'm not going.
• 51:58
  Speaker 7: I can't be the shame what God brought me through,
• 52:01
  Speaker 7: because if.
• 52:01
  Speaker 5: I'm ashamed of what He's brought me, then I'm ashamed
• 52:04
  Speaker 5: of who he is because he didn't put me through
• 52:07
  Speaker 5: those situations to not have something to give to somebody else,
• 52:12
  Speaker 5: because he put me through those situations to be able
• 52:15
  Speaker 5: to help somebody else. So if I'm ashamed of what
• 52:18
  Speaker 5: I've been through, then what do I look like hiding
• 52:21
  Speaker 5: it behind the scenes.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: I'm a real person.
• 52:25
  Speaker 5: I've made mistakes, I've done some bad things, but those things.
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: I've gone to God, talked to him about it.
• 52:33
  Speaker 5: And He's put me in a place where I don't
• 52:36
  Speaker 5: have to be shamed for what I've gone through. Now,
• 52:39
  Speaker 5: you've got those other people who want to shame people
• 52:42
  Speaker 5: for things that they keep hidden. But if you're keeping
• 52:45
  Speaker 5: it hidden from somebody, then what are you actually doing? Like,
• 52:51
  Speaker 5: you can't be ashamed of what you've been through and
• 52:53
  Speaker 5: then gonna talk about somebody because they've putting it out
• 52:56
  Speaker 5: there in the front. They're not shamed of what they've
• 52:58
  Speaker 5: gone through because they know that God brought them to it,
• 53:01
  Speaker 5: so he brought them through it as well.
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that that is so true. That is so true.
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: Right, Wow, I tell you I truly have been blessed
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: tonight just being able to share. You know, I've felt
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: a little relief because I truly just being transparent. You know,
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: sometimes you just have to be transparent, you know, understanding
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: that you know you don't have to go through it alone,
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: that you have other people that you know can help
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: you get through it. We've all experienced stuff, so sometimes
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: just letting it out, you know, you know, you know,
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: and then just coming to grass, coming to reality, understanding, accepting,
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: I guess would be that phase.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: I think I went through my incident in twenty fourteen.
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: It's two thousand, finity twenty twenty six in thirty one days,
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, Okay, when are you gonna let some
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: of this stuff go so that you can deal with
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: deal with it? You got you gotta learn how to
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: deal with it. See, we never we don't. Once we
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: go through the phases, we can't keep moving because we
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: were not ready to deal with it, right, you know,
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: went through these phases and we want sometime we just
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: want to keep repeating them and just keep repeating them
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: instead of going on trying to do something else.
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: We may go back, but at least we moved on
• 54:38
  Speaker 4: to something else for a time period, Like get a hobby,
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: get something that you can do. You like the you
• 54:46
  Speaker 4: like to go shop, go shop, you like to go cook,
• 54:49
  Speaker 4: go cook, you know, Find something that you can do
• 54:53
  Speaker 4: that will help you take your mind out, that will
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: help you stimulate some of your your sensories so that
• 55:01
  Speaker 4: you won't get stuck. Yeah, some some.
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: Stuff we can help along the way. We will not
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: be able to, you know, jump through, but we may
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: be able to skip some of the hurdles.
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: Mm hm and reach out to somebody.
• 55:20
  Speaker 5: Everybody's not judging you, and that that's one thing that
• 55:24
  Speaker 5: I want people to understand. Everybody's not judging you, and
• 55:27
  Speaker 5: the ones that are judging you are hiding, hiding themselves
• 55:31
  Speaker 5: because they don't want to actually admit that they too
• 55:36
  Speaker 5: have been in the same position. You know. I just
• 55:41
  Speaker 5: I've never understood judging someone from a space to where
• 55:47
  Speaker 5: like my aunt used to always tell me, you know,
• 55:50
  Speaker 5: just because you laughing at them today, don't make that
• 55:53
  Speaker 5: point to where they won't be laughing at you tomorrow because.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: You could be in that same situation.
• 55:59
  Speaker 5: So be nightful before you judge someone else's situation, or
• 56:04
  Speaker 5: judge someone else's walk, or judge whatever they're going through
• 56:08
  Speaker 5: because you don't know why they only got one shoe on.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: You don't know why they lost the other shoe. You
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: don't know. And so since you don't know.
• 56:18
  Speaker 5: Why they lost the other shoe and they only have one,
• 56:21
  Speaker 5: maybe that's all they needed. Or maybe they extended that
• 56:24
  Speaker 5: shoe to somebody else so that they can have too.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: You don't know. And don't be so quick to think that.
• 56:30
  Speaker 5: You're above going through what someone else is going through.
• 56:34
  Speaker 5: Because when people start to say, well, it couldn't be me, okay,
• 56:38
  Speaker 5: tell that to God, because He's show enough to make
• 56:40
  Speaker 5: it you that part.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: Flip that table real quick.
• 56:49
  Speaker 4: He definitely can quick fanc and her if you don't.
• 56:54
  Speaker 4: If you don't know the.
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: Word, the word is true, that they every word, it
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: shall come past. He said in Proverbs twenty one and one.
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: The power lies in the King's hands. He can turn
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: them rivers of water whichever way he wants them to flow,
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: so he can turn your situation around. At the bleak
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: of a eye. You may be going through one way.
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: That's why I say you may be feeling one way
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: five minutes and then next minute, next five minutes, you
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: may be feeling a total different way, or you to
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: be willing to go through the process.
• 57:24
  Speaker 4: You got to be willing to endure.
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: You know, we gotta understand that everything work together for
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: He's good.
• 57:31
  Speaker 4: He is, like I stand on his word.
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: I believe his word because he told us, he said,
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: if we seek you first, the kingdom, everything should be.
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: So we can't. We have to understand that this, this too,
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: is not our home. That we wouldn't say it's gonna
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: have to leave here. We want one day too, it's
• 57:49
  Speaker 3: gonna have to, you know, get out of here. So
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: not only he got to you know, get through this
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: so that we can help somebody else, because those that
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: are coming behind us, they're gonna need to know that
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: they can do it because Mama did it, because grandma.
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: So we got to be willing to go through those
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: processes and learn so that we can share it with
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: somebody else.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: No, yeah, it's not.
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: No, it don't feel good all the time. No, it's
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: a process. It's something that we have to go through.
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: And if we willing to go through it, I guarantee
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: you we'll be able to help not only ourselves, but
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: we'll be able to help somebody else.
• 58:36
  Speaker 5: So yeah, it goes back to you saying and praying
• 58:40
  Speaker 5: and you're asking God for something and thinking that it's
• 58:44
  Speaker 5: going to be an easy role.
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: And let's just say you on across the street.
• 58:49
  Speaker 5: You may not see any traffic coming, but as soon
• 58:51
  Speaker 5: as you step out and now traffic starts to flow
• 58:54
  Speaker 5: and you got to step back, you just see that,
• 58:58
  Speaker 5: then it's an easy path to go straight across. But
• 59:01
  Speaker 5: God may take you down the road before you're able
• 59:05
  Speaker 5: to cross, because he's got to take you through some
• 59:08
  Speaker 5: things because he has put in you everything that you're
• 59:12
  Speaker 5: going to need. But you haven't dug deep enough to
• 59:15
  Speaker 5: figure out that you not only can't just go across
• 59:19
  Speaker 5: the street, you got to go down in little ways
• 59:21
  Speaker 5: before you can cross the street because there may be
• 59:23
  Speaker 5: something that he didn't see. To Qun, then he's protecting
• 59:28
  Speaker 5: you saying, so it wan't that Tom, How.
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: Bad do you want it? Because a lot.
• 59:33
  Speaker 5: Of us give up right before our breakthrough because it
• 59:36
  Speaker 5: gets too hard because we don't see the things that
• 59:39
  Speaker 5: God has protecting us from. We do have free will
• 59:43
  Speaker 5: and we can go and do.
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: It however we want.
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: To.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: But when we're.
• 59:46
  Speaker 5: Off of God's plan and his path and his alarnment
• 59:49
  Speaker 5: for us, we get re routed, and we got to
• 59:52
  Speaker 5: go through some things until we get back on the
• 59:55
  Speaker 5: path to be obedient to what he called us to do.
• 59:57
  Speaker 5: Because he told us to turn right and side of
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 5: the turn left. And now we all, of course, and
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 5: so now be re routed back to where he said
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 5: for us to go in the first place.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: That's it, that's it.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: He just a GPS, and you know sometimes that GPS
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: has seen you round and around in a circle until
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 3: you decide to listen closely, and it will say when
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: they say one hundred feet, it means one hundred feet,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: not two hundred feet.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: So you can't pass it. It's gonna take you.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: On down the street, and it's gonna say routing.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 4: It's gonna say re routed.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: And while we steady driving, and you're gonna be getting
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: further away.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: And that's that's that's that's what happens.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: But we were not willing to And sometime we'll we'll
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: get upset and we'll just stop and we'll we'll just
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: wait and and then sometime we'll turn around and go
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: back to the way we came and instead of just
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: waiting to see which direction he's gonna take us, because see,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: he could have took us home down the street and
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: took us around the corner and what brought us back
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: to the same place that we was on our way to.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 3: But because we wanted to do it our way, we
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: missed out on what could have been a blessing.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 4: We never know. We were too busy trying to rush,
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 4: were too busy trying to get from A to.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 5: D, and we got about BC yep, and just trying
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 5: to be grown and trying to be fast and not
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 5: understanding that there was something, there was a connecting path
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 5: to get there that would have eliminated a whole bunch
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 5: of headache and heartache and everything. But a lot of
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 5: people don't want to go through the slow process. They
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 5: wanted quick, fasten in a hurry. God's like, just wait,
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 5: just wait, I got something better for you if you
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 5: just wait, And then they go and rush it and
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 5: then it falls apart and it's like, Okay, well I
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 5: told you, I told you just be patient with me.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 5: I didn't ignore you, I didn't forget about you. I
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 5: heard you the first time.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: Be patient. I got you just trust me.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: We always have to be in the midst of something.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: Trying to God. Don't need no help from us.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 5: He know exactly what he do we go to him for,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 5: So you can't be going up there asking God. Okay, God,
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 5: Lisa and I pray to you two weeks ago about
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 5: this situation, and you ain't answer. So I'm gonna just
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 5: go ahead and take it upon myself to go and
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 5: do it. And God be like, Okay, since you think
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 5: you know everything, I'm gonna let you go ahead out
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 5: there and gone and do it. Just I mnsta sit
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 5: back and watch. Don't call me when you need me.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 5: But then what we do we call on and.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: What we need him. But he was already there.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 5: He just lets you be stupid because he accounts for
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 5: our stupidity in the moments of indiscretion. He lets us
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 5: be stupid because he knows who he created. And sometimes
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 5: we are stubborn and hard headed and like to do
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 5: things our way, but he's always there waiting to take
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 5: us back. But we gotta be willing to go to
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 5: him first and admit that we were wrong.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: And a lot of us don't like to admit that
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: we were wrong.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 5: Even when we talk about that part, like, so we
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 5: were just don't they don't.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 4: They don't like to admit they're wrong.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 3: They don't like to ask for forgiveness, nor do they
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 3: like to give forgiveness.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 4: It's just it's just a mess, like we just.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: And you can't expect nobody else to be perfect, because
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 3: you know that you are not perfect exactly.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 4: But yet we.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: We we we do it to ourselves that free will
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: choices instead of listening. I tell you life will be
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: a whole lot easy if we just listen.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and stops want to rush through it.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 5: If you really want to live a true life of peace, abundance,
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 5: and overflow, then you trust God's timing because his timing
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 5: is always perfect for everything that we got.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: Going on in life, even the hard.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 5: Days, even the rainy days, All of it is connected
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 5: to the purpose in which we have been created.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: He didn't put us through those hard moments.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 5: He didn't put us through the loss of our loved
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 5: ones that didn't come with a lesson. Everything is connected
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 5: to our destiny. Everything is connected through our birthdate to
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 5: our death date. We don't know what that death date
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 5: is going to be, but the ones that are left
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 5: behind will know that day, and so what we do
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 5: in between that time is very important to learn to
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 5: love and appreciate one another. And if we all learn.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 8: To love Father for who we are and learn for
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 8: who you expect them to be, everything will be a
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 8: bit better place because we're not pasted. We are all
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 8: fighting to be perfect like.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 7: God, but we are not here. So we're gonna co
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 7: with fas.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 8: We're gonna come with insecurities, We're gonna come with all
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 8: of those things, and that's okay.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: But he the focus on God.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 5: And bringing forth his word and his his agenda.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 8: Right that point, because walking with God, it's not an
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 8: evil walk, but it's worth it.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 4: It is if you just will do a little work.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 4: It's not even that hard.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 3: Like we have so many choices and we can do
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 3: so much, Like we can choose to stay in denial.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 4: Or we can choose to work do it.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: But I tell you, uh, sometimes I just I've come
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 3: to really get into the word a little more. Understanding
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 3: the word a little more has been able to help
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 3: me with the denial part. Like I did experience song
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: with my brother, like I didn't want to accept it.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 3: I guess it just not even that I was denying it.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 3: believe that it happened, but I had to understand, you know.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 5: Like my family has been grieving since twenty two and
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 5: that started with my younger cousin he had a heart attack.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 5: Then my mom passed in twenty three, and they both
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 5: passed in June. He passed June the twenty sixth of
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 5: twenty two. She passed June the fifteenth of twenty three.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 5: My uncle passed August to twenty sixth of last year,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 5: and my aunt passed August.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: To twenty October to twenty fifth of this year.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 5: So we've been in a constant state of grief and
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 5: it's not easy, you know, to go through that in
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 5: the sense of what do you even have time to
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 5: find joy.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: In the moments?
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 5: Some people would ask, But if you know each one
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 5: of the individuals and you had a relationship with them,
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 5: and you find joy in in the memories that you
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 5: created and the stories that you share about them, And
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 5: that's one of the things that I can say that.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: Even still, you know, I have.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 5: My moments of sadness because they're no longer here, but
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 5: I find myself in memory of the joys and the
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 5: memories that we created, because we had a lot of
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 5: funny stories and we had a lot of funny situations,
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 5: and so those are the things that I remember the most.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 5: So it's very rare for me personally that I have
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 5: the moments of just sadness. You know, I can say
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 5: that the sadness that I feel for a relative that
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 5: passed it is mostly for my great grandfather. I have
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 5: more moments of sadness with him when I think about him,
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 5: because that was the first death that I ever experienced
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 5: with somebody that was close to me, and I was
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 5: only eight years old, and that was tough for me
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 5: because my granddaddy was my best friend.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 5: It was me and my granddaddy and I couldn't do
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 5: no wrong in his eyes, and honey, any and everything
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 5: that I wanted I got, you know. And to not
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 5: have that male figure anymore, I think that's what brings
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 5: the sadness song.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: For me more than anything. And so I still longed.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 5: For him because I feel like he was taking way
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 5: too early for my liking.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: But I've also come.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 5: To understand that his time here was up and God
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 5: needed him back.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 4: Right, I tell you, this season has definitely been a journey.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: I lost a couple of family members this year, but
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 3: I tell you, being able to have this space and
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 3: being in this space and you know, having those that
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 3: have been apart, like Schaneera, Shanette, Dana, I mean, it's
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 3: just been amazing. Dan Yello, her name is Dan Yello,
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 3: Dan Yello. It's just been an amazing journey. And I think
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: we had Apostle Kimberly, uh huh, just able to share,
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 3: like say, different perspectives in their individual journeys.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 4: You know, some have lost children. Yeah, you know, you know,
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 4: it just came in all different forms.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 3: And then just realizing, you know that there were so
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 3: many different forms outside of physical.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 4: Loss and learning how to.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: Get through those different processes and dealing with those different
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: processes because each one you you you deal different, but
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: the fact that you know, everybody have an experience and
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: you have something to draw on that you're not alone.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 3: Something else that we was able to do through this
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 3: season was matters of the Heart. I think we had
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 3: three we had uh we just had an opportunity to
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 3: really share and really be in different spaces and you know,
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 3: allowing people to be able to see us in different
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 3: different forms, different gears, different lights, because you know, because
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 3: we are humans and because we deal with stuff just
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: like everybody else. We put our pants on the same,
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: but our skirts are on the same, our sweater, our hats,
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 3: our teeth the same.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 4: You know, we are human.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 4: Here, it's everything that you guys experience.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 3: You know, when people start seeing you in different lights,
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: they think different of you, but understand that we are
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 3: the same person.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 4: We don't change, We just elevate.
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 3: We know one things that you know us, but before
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 3: we start doing those things, they are the same. Well,
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 3: we just learned that, you know, God deal with the heart,
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 3: and we have to be in a space that we
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 3: are healed, that we're willing to heal, that we are empowered,
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 3: and not only are we empowered, but we're ready to
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 3: empower others. We're ready to align with that that He's
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 3: already purposed for us.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 4: If we read our word.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 3: He tells us so many times, in so many different
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 3: directions and so many different instructions, that that all we
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 3: got to do is align. You know, He see what
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 3: we're gonna go through. That that that's where that word
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 3: resilience come from. He know what we're gonna deal with
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 3: and then understanding that we are gonna go through those things,
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 3: but that we don't have to deal with trauma no more.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 3: We can allow those things to be released. So I
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 3: tell people, God deal with me with words he break down,
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 3: normal everyday words that you know we may throw around
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 3: and truly not understand what that what He's really trying
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 3: to tell us. Because when I tell you, I grass
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 3: hope to that word life.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 4: And truly gotta understanding of that word life.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 3: Like people, I'm telling you, if you think you living,
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 3: when was the last time you loved someone that you
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 3: didn't know? When did you love your brother and your sister,
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 3: Not your rest tip brother and sister, but a stranger
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 3: brother in sisteh. When did you inspire somebody Not because
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 3: they were your family or they were in your circle,
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 3: but because I came in contact with them and you
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 3: wanted to see them take their rightful place. You wanted
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 3: to see them grow, You want to see them doing
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: something other than what they was doing. The last time
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 3: you allowed the fear of God to come forth and
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 3: not put it on the back burner and not pretend
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 3: like it don't exist.
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, the matter to the heart was one of those
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 5: things where like it brought me out of my comfort zone.
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: I will say that in a way that I never
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: thought I would be especial.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 5: When you first asked me to host it, I was like, yeah, okay,
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 5: but I have no idea what that entails or anything.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 5: And this year has been a year of getting out
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 5: of my own shadow in a sense, because it went
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 5: from not one, not two, but three of Matters of
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 5: the Heart and then into me doing my first book
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 5: sign in a book event in general for myself in
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 5: honor of my mom. That was something I never imagined
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 5: myself doing, and so God already knew. He also knew
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 5: who to put me with to push me out of
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 5: my own shadow. And it's been a it's been a journey,
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 5: but I'm grateful for each and every moment, and even
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 5: in the situations where you know, we might have a
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 5: guest who's unable to fulfill their assignment for being on
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 5: the show and then having to either cancel, do a rerun,
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 5: or or whatever, but learning to actually still show up regardless.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 5: And that's been one of the things that it has
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 5: taught me this year is it's going Life is unpredictable,
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 5: but either you can run and hide from a situation
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 5: that you are forced to step in front of, or
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 5: you can you can actually stand in the spotlight, right.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 3: And I think I rather stand in the spotlight to
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 3: see what the end is gonna be, because if I stop,
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 3: I may not get to see what it's gonna be exactly.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 5: It may not even be as bad as you may
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 5: have thought it was gonna be. Because you know, one
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 5: thing that I have learned also over this journey is
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 5: pay attention to the small, little I'm joking kind of things,
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 5: or I didn't mean it that way. I did, baby,
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 5: I only got one time to hear somebody say something
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 5: like that, and I got nothing else to say to them.
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 5: You know, It's like, I don't want you playing no
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 5: seeds of doubt over in my space, in my garden,
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 5: So I don't need to talk to you. Because small
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 5: minded individuals keep people stuck in spaces where they're not
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 5: supposed to be because they can't see beyond anything greater
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 5: for themselves. And so I've learned to limit those interactions,
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 5: not to say that they're not worthy, but at the
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 5: same time, if you're not willing to see beyond what
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 5: you already hold yourself in the space and you don't
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 5: want to see nobody else move from where you are,
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 5: then I don't need to talk to you at that point,
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 5: because you're going to keep me thinking that I'm less
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 5: staning when God keeps showing me that I'm greater than
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 5: what I ever imagine. I just got to trust him
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 5: through the process. But you keep telling me that no,
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 5: you don't see that. Well, it's not for you to see.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 5: And everybody's not gonna be your assignment either, And I'm
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 5: learning to understand that too, because you can spend your
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 5: lifetime trying to pour into somebody, and the more you're
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 5: trying to pour into them, they don't want to receive anything.
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 5: They're not soaking up anything that you're giving them, but
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 5: you're completely being drained because you keep trying to pour
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 5: into them and they don't want to take it.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 2: You gotta let them people go too.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, sometimes it may hurt, but is necessary. So we
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 4: just sometimes we just got to take it for what
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 4: it is. He'll never lead you wrong, no, because he
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 4: already know what it is. He already know what is.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 4: We just got.
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 5: And I have conversation with my baby sister not too
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 5: won because she called me well first she had sent
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 5: me a text message or somebody sending her something, and
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 5: I couldn't I couldn't even get mad at the text
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 5: message number one because I couldn't understand it, and that
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 5: the girl seemed like she was trying to cust my
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 5: sister out or whatever. But I couldn't read the message
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 5: because it had so many errors in it that I
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 5: just started laughing. So my sister called me and she
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 5: was like, I'm ready to go over there and turn up.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 5: I'm ready to do this. And I said, okay, so
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 5: you ready to go to jail for something that I
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 5: can't even She was like, well, I'm trying to see
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 5: if I should be mad.
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 2: I said, well, baby, first off, I can't.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 5: Be mad because they can't even cuss you out right,
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 5: I said.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 7: So if you can't even understand what they said, what
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 7: you're mad for? I said, because I would be white
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 7: the people with the red hen trying to send it
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 7: back to him. I said, because if you don't cuss
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 7: me out, baby, I need to at least know you're
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 7: cussing me out so that I can actually be mad
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 7: at that.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 2: But if I can't understand.
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 7: It, there's no reason for me to be mad, So.
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 5: Why don't, he said, Why do you make everything out
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 5: to be a joke? I said, for number one, like
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 5: I have told you several times, I'm at peace. So
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 5: you want me to be upset over something that somebody said,
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 5: I said, but you sent me this. I can't get
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 5: mad at it because I can't understand it, I said.
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 5: And if I can't understand it they're trying to cuss
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 5: me out, then.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 7: They don't be mad by themselves. I said. So now
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 7: you can too, to crash out over that or wear
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 7: me out. You won't either have to deal with the
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 7: consequences whether you crashing out. Now, what comes with you
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 7: crashing out is jail time, loss of your job, loss
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 7: of your income, loss.
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 5: Of everything that you've gained in the so called small
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 5: amount of time of peace that you've had. Now, if
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 5: you want to give that up, then by all means,
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 5: go crash out, do what you need to do. But me,
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 5: on the other end, I find this very comical because
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 5: I can't get mad at somebody.
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 2: Who can't even complete a sentence. So it's up to
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: you because.
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 5: You're like, see, this is why I figured I needed
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 5: to call you before I really crashed out.
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 7: She said, because you just you just brought me all.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 2: The way down.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 7: I said, I wasn't necessarily trying to break you down,
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 7: but I'm just saying, you give an energy to something
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 7: that doesn't need your energy.
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 5: Because if the person can't complete a sentence that says
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 5: that they're.
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 2: Mad, then it is what it is. I said.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 5: I had a lady one time call me on the
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 5: phone getting mad at me.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 2: Because of something.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 5: And she was like, well, I'm gonna show up at
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 5: your job and I'm gonna mess up your car. I said, well, baby,
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna go ahead and tell you obviously you don't
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 5: know much about me, because my car is already messed
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 5: up and the only thing you can do is fix it.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 3: And she.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: I said, She was like, you think this is a game.
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 5: You think this is a jump. I said, baby, let
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 5: me tell you. If you know my car, you know
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 5: my my driver side window don't roll down. It's got
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 5: a big den in the back. The other window on
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 5: the passenger side it don't roll down either.
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: So the only thing you really can.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 5: Do, and it needs a paint job also, I said,
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 5: So the only thing you can.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 2: Do to my car is fix it.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 5: It's not gonna hurt me because it's already beat up
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 5: and damaged, so you you're not gonna do anything but
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 5: fix it.
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 7: And so the woman got so mad at me to
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 7: shut up on me.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 5: And I'm what you want me to be mad, but
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 5: I can't be mad, so you be mad at me.
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 4: Forever.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 8: I'm not doing this energy.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 2: But that's what you have to do.
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 5: You have to be able to decipher what gets your
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 5: energy and how you want people to take it away
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 5: from you. And if you know what your triggers are,
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 5: you know what it's going to make you upset and
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 5: what's not. But if you give people the power over
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 5: you to get you upset, then you are already an
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 5: lost because you're not in control of yourself exactly.
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 3: That's why it's important for us to have these panels
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 3: where we can talk and and share these things because
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 3: a lot of us we don't we really don't have
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 3: nobody to you know, give us their perspective so we
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 3: see that that whit sided that's coming out our eyes,
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 3: That that that what we want to see and open
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 3: half close. Yeah, because some of us we ain't reached
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 3: that point yet, you.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 4: Know what I'm saying. So yeah, and then some of us.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 3: Will listen, we'll we'll, we'll say we're taking it in,
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 3: but as soon as we get out of sight, we're
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 3: back to whatever it was we were thinking before we
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 3: even come and had that conversation. It's like, why do
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 3: we even have that conversation? Just wasting my time going
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: over something that you know you wouldn't ready.
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 5: For exactly like, either you want me to listen to you,
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 5: and I'm quick now to say, Okay, do you want
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 5: a solution to the problem that you're about to tell
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 5: me or do you just need me to listen, because
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 5: if you call me for a solution, I'm about to
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 5: give you one. But if you just want me to
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 5: listen and not offer no solution, then just say that.
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 5: But say that in the beginning because if I start
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 5: giving you solutions and you come up with, well, I.
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 2: Don't know if I want to do that, then don't
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 2: call me because I'm gonna give your solution.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 4: I know that's right, I know that's right. I tell
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 4: you what I tell you this year is so it flew.
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 3: By yah thirty one days and it's a rap, it
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 3: is a rat. So I tell you I have enjoyed
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 3: this space. I have enjoyed, you know, being a part
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 3: of the Grief podcast where we could share, you know,
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 3: our perspective and then having the conference. I'm grateful that
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 3: you accepted the role as hosts because you know, like Shaneia, Shaneera,
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 3: we've been on this.
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 4: Pray car for five years.
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 3: When she first came home, she said, I really don't
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 3: know how to pray, she said, but I'm willing to
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 3: come and learn. We we have what we call this
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 3: the L three movement. It stands for learn, Love, Lead.
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 4: Is to learn.
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 3: Pam is the love and I am the lead, and
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 3: we all have you know, we all had to go
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 3: through the different phrases because we all went through a
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 3: process where we had to learn, Like I had to
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 3: learn how to really run that line and you know,
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 3: invite people to be a part and you know, to
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 3: do different things to learn about intercession because I really
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 3: didn't know nothing about no intercessory prayer.
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 4: I just knew how to pray for myself.
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 3: And you know just what I did in private, never
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 3: know that I would own a prayer line. Yet hosting
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 3: a prayer line and inviting other people and getting other
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 3: people to come be apart. But we getting ready to
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 3: go into our sixth year, and I'm just excited about
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 3: that that we could just have a space where we
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 3: can share and be ourselves and you know, allow God
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 3: to do what he said he would do for us,
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 3: because we didn't get dropped out of this guy. You know,
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 3: we were all strategically placed here to do something and
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 3: to leave a mark for the next generation that's gonna
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 3: come because you know, our world make end, but their
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 3: world that there's there's gonna be another world after us.
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 3: There's always gonna be life in in this universe, in
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 3: this in this earth, there's always gonna be life because
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 3: guess what it's like, we got the same Bible. The
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 3: Bible ain't never changed, It's not gonna change. It's gonna
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 3: continue to repeat them cycles. It's gonna be the storm
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 3: keeps going. Yeah, we gotta understand that we just leave.
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 3: But oftentimes we say that that person being here before. Yeah,
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 3: we all been here before. We just not meant we're
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 3: not built to remember it. Because that's how he designed it.
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 3: Because if if if what they say is true, then
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 3: guess what if energy just keep going and going and going,
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 3: and guess what, it just has to go into another person.
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 4: He just has to go to another person. It has
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 4: to go into another form of a person, even if
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 4: we have to start over as an infant.
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's that's that's the perception I see.
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 3: Somebody else may perceive it to be different, But hey,
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 3: I'm sticking to my I'm sticking to what I have.
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 4: Learned, right, you know what I'm saying.
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 3: But I'm just grateful for the space. Hopefully we will
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 3: be back next season.
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 4: In some form.
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 3: I'm definitely that that is something that I Am going
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 3: to be praying about and working on while we have
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 3: a break to see how we can you know, still incorporate.
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 4: Incorporate this space.
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because I think this is a good outlet for
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 5: people to know that they're not alone in the grieving
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 5: process and the grief and darned because I don't you
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 5: don't only hear it talked about, but we do often
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 5: see a lot of rest in peace, you know. You
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 5: see that, just like you see the congratulations of a
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 5: new baby being born.
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 7: But we don't talk about.
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 2: The process in between, you know, but is a process.
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 3: But again, I thank you for you know, accepting the challenge,
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 3: you know, and being a part of the podcast as well.
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 4: As the conference.
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 3: You know, none of them would have been possible without
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 3: all of individuals that you know, took time to be
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 3: apart again.
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 4: I hope that we will be able to come.
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 3: Back in some form in twenty twenty six, season four
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 3: of the Couppie Cast.
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 4: I'm excited about that.
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 3: And we got some things that we're gonna be doing
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 3: outside of the podcast. We got a couple of hosts
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 3: that you know, stepping outside of their box doing some
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 3: different things, expanding their reaching their brand and just excite
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 3: it to see what God is doing. We're definitely gonna
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 3: have an opportunity, so y'all make sure y'all tune in
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 3: the thirty first. That is our last show other years
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 3: for all of the hosts. So all of the hosts
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 3: that you guys have been supporting throughout this year, we're
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 3: all gonna be in one space. We're gonna exchange doing
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 3: a gift exchange, something that we started last year. It's
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 3: gonna be something that we'll do until we can't do
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 3: it no more. But just opportunity to exchange gifts and
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 3: to show each other some love and to get ready
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 3: to prepare for our new season. We get We get
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 3: thirty one days out, we get a month off, the
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 3: entire month of January. We get off that we can
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 3: you know, truly reflect and get prepared for a new season,
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 3: get prepared for what's to come, and you know, and
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 3: enjoy the time that we have off. So y'all, I'm
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 3: excited about twenty twenty six.
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 2: Me too.
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 3: I just can't wait to see, you know how God moves.
• 1:31:38
  Speaker 3: I'm ready, ready and willing, you know, a man.
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 4: Ready and willen.
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 3: So again, I want to thank you for coming on
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 3: tonight because we've been on here just yapping, yep and
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 3: yap and yep and yep. Yeah, but we just wanted
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 3: to be in this space, you know, we just wanted
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 3: to let you guys know that we have appreciated being
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 3: able to, you know, come on and share and do
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 3: this this season. So I'm gonna let Tarda tell you
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 3: guys how to follow and support her where you can
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 3: catch her up some of the things that she's doing
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 3: and all of that great.
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 4: Stuff before we close out.
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 5: All right, Well, if you're looking to write a book
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 5: and you need help and assistance with that, you can
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 5: find me at my business. Believe in Lord Jesus, I'm
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 5: putting them all together WANs of Transformation Publishing. You can
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 5: find me on Facebook, you can find me on Instagram
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 5: it's Wings of Transformation Publishing. Or you can just look
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 5: for Treeda Harris. Anything that has butterflies. I'm pretty much
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 5: surrounded by. You can find me on TikTok at Tarita Harris.
• 1:32:55
  Speaker 5: You can find me on YouTube Tarita unders Score Harris
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 5: seventy eight.
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 2: I am the host of Believe in the Journey podcast.
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 5: I also have a Wings of Transformation group. If you
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 5: want to join the Believe in the Journey podcast group,
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 5: just let me know. It should be public. I'm not
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 5: sure if it's private or not, but just let me
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 5: know if you want to be a part of that.
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 5: But you can find me on TikTok I'm not hard
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 5: to find. It's just Trevita Harrison. If you have trouble
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 5: trying to remember my name, I always tell people if
• 1:33:30
  Speaker 5: you can save Elbita, you can say Trevita is cheesy,
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 5: but it works and it helps you to remember who
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 5: I am. But I help people who are wanting to
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 5: write a book. If you feel like you don't know
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 5: where to start, the first thing I always say is
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 5: just start writing, everything else will fall into place. And
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 5: if you need guidance through that process, I am here
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 5: to help you through that because I started my journey
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 5: as a self published author.
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 2: So I want everybody who has.
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 5: Story, because we all have a story, and your story
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 5: is a blueprint for somebody else to get through whatever
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 5: it is that they're going through.
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 2: So I look forward.
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 5: To helping you bring your vision to reality.
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 2: A ma'am.
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 3: Heymen, So I tell you we have a group of
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 3: talented individuals over here. For those that don't know who
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 3: I am, I am the visionary behind the podcast and
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 3: the magazine I stand on. We are the change that
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 3: we desire to see in this world. That that is
• 1:34:37
  Speaker 3: our motto. Change begins and end with us. So I
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 3: am doing everything that I can. I have written, co author,
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 3: self published, whatever however you want to name it. I've
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 3: done books, journals, anthology, poetry books, activity books, journals, planners, calendars,
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 3: whatever I have Over now, I think we're at one
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 3: hundred and sixty five publications. Most of my publications are
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 3: available on Amazon, Blurb, Walmart, dot com, any place that
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 3: you can buy a e book or a printed book,
• 1:35:26
  Speaker 3: you can pretty much find some of my stuff. I'm
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 3: even in some of your locals.
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 4: But just want to be a voice. I don't want
• 1:35:36
  Speaker 4: nobody telling my story.
• 1:35:38
  Speaker 3: I will leave my story so that people will have
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 3: an opportunity to explore me. Each each literary work that
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 3: you pick up by me shares a part of my journey,
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 3: shares a part of me. So I really love what
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 3: I do. I just want to see individuals living life
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 3: and how do we do that. Love inspire, having the
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 3: fear of God, educating power and encourage.
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 4: That's how you live life. You just don't exist.
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 3: So I want to see more of you out there
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 3: living life, enjoying life. If you want to connect with me,
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 3: I am a master of many hats. I care a
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 3: couple of degrees, I am certified in a couple of things.
• 1:36:28
  Speaker 3: But most importantly, I just want you to know that
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 3: you matter, that you have purpose, that you did not
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 3: get jopped out of the sky, that you were strategically
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 3: placed here to do just what you're doing. You may
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 3: not be doing what you want to do right now,
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 3: but know that you are right where you're supposed to be.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 3: And if you keep going, if you keep pressing, if
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 3: you keep standing, you'll get through. If you want to
• 1:36:49
  Speaker 3: follow and support the things that I do. You can,
• 1:36:51
  Speaker 3: of course go over to my website, which is Angela
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 3: Thomas smithbooks dot com. Again that is waw w you
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 3: Angela Thomas smith books dot com have most of everything
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 3: that I am connected to over there on that website. Also,
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 3: if you want to check me out and see where
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 3: all the links and all the things that you can
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 3: see me at, hear me at, watch me at, whatever
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 3: you want to call it, you can go over to Linktree,
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 3: queen u Collaborations. Most everything is queen up Collaborations. I
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 3: say you can google me, I'll pop up. You can
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 3: find out some.
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 4: Things about me. Now they got that AI AI tell you.
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 5: A whole too, and that's that's crazy.
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 2: I googled myself not too long ago. I was like, Lord,
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 2: look at that.
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you got to do is google because that thing
• 1:37:51
  Speaker 4: is good at reading.
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 3: So everything that anybody has put in there about you,
• 1:37:54
  Speaker 3: anything that anybody said about you, it is definitely in there.
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 3: I'm talking about that thing was telling me some up
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 3: that I didn't even know that people knew. I was like, yeah,
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 3: I said, thank you. I tell you we got to
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 3: learn how to make the best of every opportunity to
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 3: enjoy life because you only get one chance at it.
• 1:38:21
  Speaker 3: Somebody didn't get to see this day, but we did.
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 3: So it's important that we get right those things that
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 3: we didn't get right on yesterday and be an impact.
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 3: You know, there's two things that we can do. You
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 3: can get something that you did not get right on
• 1:38:36
  Speaker 3: yesterday right today. And you can be in somebody's life
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 3: because you never know when you may be that only
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 3: Jesus that come in contact with them. So always be
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 3: the best version of yourself. I love y'all. I appreciate
• 1:38:50
  Speaker 3: y'all for stopping by and sharing this space with us.
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 3: For the times that you have stopped by.
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 4: Know that we will be back. We will be back season.
• 1:39:01
  Speaker 3: We would definitely start advertising probably in January, letting you
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 3: guys know when the shows will be airing, because again
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 3: we only come on the fifth Sundays of every month
• 1:39:15
  Speaker 3: that there is a fifth Sunday.
• 1:39:16
  Speaker 4: Of course, you know that.
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 3: Every Sunday every month, don't have a fifth Sunday. So
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 3: I think that maybe four or five in twenty twenty
• 1:39:23
  Speaker 3: six we will get them out to you.
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 4: Guys. Don't know who will be returning next year, but
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 4: you know We're gonna make it do what it does.
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna be here, Teda is gonna be here, so
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 3: we're gonna make it happen. We may recruit some more people,
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 3: but however it go, y'all, we in the building. We
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 3: want to be that change that we desire to see.
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 3: So guess what I'm gonna keep showing up and guess
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 3: what he gonna keep showing out.
• 1:39:49
  Speaker 4: That's all I can say.
• 1:39:51
  Speaker 2: Amen.
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 4: I hope you guys have a great night. Again.
• 1:39:57
  Speaker 3: We have definitely appreciated being here with you guys. But
• 1:40:01
  Speaker 3: before we go, because this is definitely a support panel,
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 3: I want Charda to pray us out, to pray over
• 1:40:11
  Speaker 3: the people as we close out and give thanks again.
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 3: Thank you guys for allowing us this space to read
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 3: it all right.
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 5: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing us together in
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 5: this space, giving us an opportunity to simply say thank you.
• 1:40:30
  Speaker 5: Because without you, we are nothing, and everything that we
• 1:40:32
  Speaker 5: do is for you. We glorify your name and everything
• 1:40:36
  Speaker 5: that we do, everything that we say, everything that.
• 1:40:38
  Speaker 2: We touch is because of you.
• 1:40:41
  Speaker 5: Let the words that we have said here tonight be
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 5: a healing map for someone who is going through who
• 1:40:48
  Speaker 5: did not know how to go through this grieving journey
• 1:40:51
  Speaker 5: and let them know that they are not alone because
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 5: everything that you have given us, you have given to
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 5: them as well. So we thank you, we honor you,
• 1:40:59
  Speaker 5: and we will continue to do the works that you
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 5: have put us on assignment to do because each time
• 1:41:06
  Speaker 5: that we use our voice, we bring them closer to you,
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 5: because we know that if we are connected to you,
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 5: they are connected to you. So continue to guide our
• 1:41:15
  Speaker 5: steps and god our voices to be the sounding board
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 5: for you and everything that you do, because you are
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 5: the one that gets all the glory and all the
• 1:41:25
  Speaker 5: credit for everything that we do, because you gave us
• 1:41:29
  Speaker 5: the vision and you provided everything that we needed, and
• 1:41:32
  Speaker 5: you continue to bring people closer to us so that
• 1:41:35
  Speaker 5: they can get closer to you. So continue to lead
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 5: us and continue to honor us in everything that we do.
• 1:41:42
  Speaker 5: We praise your name and Jesus Name.
• 1:41:43
  Speaker 2: We pray Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen.
• 1:41:47
  Speaker 4: Again.
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 3: I thank you guys for joining us on tonight, and
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 3: we will see y'all next season.
• 1:41:56
  Speaker 2: Way a