Latest / Authentic Living / Inspiring Others to Find Resilience with Brain Injury Survivor, Cristabelle Braden

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Inspiring Others to Find Resilience with Brain Injury Survivor, Cristabelle Braden · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
• 0:08
  things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:11
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:35
  Hi, everyone.
• 0:36
  It's, Roxanne Durohart of authentic living with Roxanne.
• 0:39
  Today, I have a special guest, Kristibel, Braden.
• 0:43
  Hi, Kristabel.
• 0:43
  How are you?
• 0:44
  Hi.
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  I'm doing well.
• 0:46
  How are you doing?
• 0:47
  Good.
• 0:47
  Thank you.
• 0:48
  So Crystal's got a a fascinating background and something that's quite intriguing.
• 0:54
  I could tell you a little bit about her.
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  And, what she brings to the table out there is how when you go through something adverse, like
• 1:02
  a brain injury, how in fact it ends up being turning into something that is a gift.
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  Not that I'm saying people don't have struggles, but her story is one of that I think
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  will be fascinating.
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  So she is an award winning speaker author and a podcast podcast host.
• 1:20
  She had an injury and then all she had some talents prior to that.
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  She was always musical, but after the injury, she started to write music.
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  And, she has been an advocate around issues around brain injury.
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  She talks about, some of the myths and misconceptions of brain injury.
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  And speaks, throughout the US, from what she's telling me around that concerns.
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  And she's gonna share today a little bit about what some of the things people should know
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  because I think, you know, not knowing a lot, Christabel, a lot of people think they
• 1:53
  understand, and I think hearing your story is gonna be something that will be valuable to to
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  people out there that are listening.
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  So thanks again for coming on.
• 2:01
  Yeah.
• 2:02
  Absolutely.
• 2:02
  Thank you for having me.
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  Okay.
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  So tell us tell us the story.
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  So tell me tell us a little bit about you before the accidents and, tell us kind of, the
• 2:13
  accident occurred in 2000 and 7, but she's had some multiple accidents.
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  Tell us a bit about you, and then, we'll talk a little bit about the accident.
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  So I was pretty young when it happened.
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  I was in school and Before the brain injury happened, I was very, very academically minded.
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  I was also very athletic and I was fourteen when it happened, and I was in 10th grade
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  because I was put ahead in school.
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  So I was actually in a program for gifted kids and School came easy to me before.
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  And I played on multiple sports teams, and I did dance classes multiple nights a week.
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  And I was really good at memorization.
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  That was a big strength of mine.
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  I loved to act and I loved Shakespeare specifically.
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  And the summer before it happened, I interned at the Shakespeare Festival.
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  In the local where I lived, and I wanted to, you know, do acting, not necessarily as a
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  career, but I wasn't sure yet at the time what I really wanted to do.
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  I was thinking about going into law, being an attorney, and I just I really wanted to go to
• 3:25
  Yale and I had this big dreams, academic dreams for myself.
• 3:31
  And I had the plan to get there.
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  And then one day changed my life forever.
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  It was December 2 2007, I went to my church's youth group, which, you know, I went almost
• 3:46
  every Sunday.
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  And that night, they were playing a game with all the kids in one of the rooms, a game called
• 3:54
  Red Rover, which is a running game.
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  And then when it was my turn to run, All the boys on my team decided to pull a prank and run
• 4:03
  behind me and rush the other team.
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  And I ended up hit my hit my head on a cement wall.
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  And my head bounced off the floor, and I lost consciousness.
• 4:13
  We're not sure how long.
• 4:15
  We think it was a couple minutes.
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  It was enough time for the kids to be laughing and then stop laughing and then go get the
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  adults, which that's a whole another story in itself.
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  But, I came too, and I seem totally normal that night.
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  And I think a really big misconception with concussions and brain injuries is that symptoms
• 4:36
  show up right away.
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  That's not always the case.
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  In my case, my brain was actually swelling.
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  And so over the next couple of days, my brain swelled and swelled and swelled to the point
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  where it got too swollen to fit in my skull.
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  So the way the neurologist explained it to me was, like, the inside of my brain sliced my
• 4:55
  skull the inside of my skull sliced my brain.
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  And I couldn't walk straight.
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  I had blurry vision.
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  I couldn't hold conversations.
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  I was functioning like a small child.
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  I had to relearn how to get dressed, how to take a shower, My short term memory was so bad
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  that I would forget I ate breakfast.
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  I eat multiple breakfast in one morning because I would forget, and my body's was completely
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  off.
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  I never knew when I was hungry or full.
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  I lost sense of taste and smell.
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  My personality changed.
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  My sense of humor changed.
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  I lost a lot of long term memories from my childhood.
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  And I the right side of my body, the muscles act atrophied, which means they got smaller and
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  weaker.
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  And so it was like, you know, you go from one day, your life is just how you think it's gonna
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  go.
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  You have a schedule.
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  You're doing your thing.
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  And then one moment and your life is completely different.
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  And that's what happens with the traumatic brain injury.
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  But one of the biggest issues and misconceptions is you look fine You look fine.
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  You look normal on the outside the whole time.
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  And so there's a lot of misunderstandings because When you see someone who has a
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  traumatic brain injury, you can't tell.
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  And when you start to interact with them, you can tell some things off maybe.
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  But you can't figure out exactly why.
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  I could still talk.
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  My speech was a lot more slurred.
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  I spoke slower.
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  After about 15 minutes is when I just couldn't function anymore.
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  So, like, I could hold a short conversation 1 on 1.
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  If there was anything distractions or anything else going on in the room, I would I couldn't
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  function.
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  I would have tampered tantrums.
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  I would freak out.
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  I literally I don't even remember the 1st year after the brain injury.
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  And I literally had to relearn all these life tasks that were once simple.
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  And that began the journey of living with brain injury, and I'm here 12 years later, Still
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  struggling.
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  I mean, it's gotten a lot better, and the doctors didn't even think I'd finished high
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  school.
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  After it happened.
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  Like, they thought that I was gonna be at that level for the rest of my life.
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  And I know by the grace of God, I have come a lot farther than any doctors had ever imagined
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  I still I'm not allowed to have a driver's license.
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  There are certain things that I really struggle with and a lot of the re injuries having
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  reconcussions has contributed to my long struggle.
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  Your brain is more sensitive once it's been hurt.
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  It's like if you've ever had a knee injury or Mhmm.
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  Wrist injury, any type of injury, it's a lot more easy to aggravate it.
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  If you, like, step wrong or, you know, you it's just something like we all deal with, but you
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  don't really think about that in the brain.
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  But it's the same way.
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  So if you've had a significant brain injury or even if you've had any sort of concussion, Your
• 8:06
  my my doctor told me even a couple weeks ago when I went to see her before all the
• 8:11
  quarantine stuff, she was like, Chris, well, I think your brain is just very more sensitive to
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  trauma than most because of the amount of injuries you've had.
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  And so it's a very, very long recovery, but I always tell people there's hope.
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  There is still hope.
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  The brain has neuroplasticity.
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  There's so many things that can help it, but it's definitely a journey.
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  Sorry about just jumping around a
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  little bit there.
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  That's fine.
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  That's fine.
• 8:39
  So you talk a little bit a lot about misconceptions.
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  So we talked a little bit about you look the same, but things are different.
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  What other conceptions do people have about brain injury?
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  Cause I know you talk about this.
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  You know?
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  Yeah.
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  So some other misconceptions, there's a couple different There's a couple different things.
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  First of all, people think a concussion is not a brain injury, or they think a concussion is
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  not serious.
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  And what you don't understand is the term concussion is literally just a different way to
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  say traumatic brain injury.
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  It means the same thing.
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  And people use the term concussion, and it gets downplayed.
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  I've even talked to other brain injury survivors who they've gone to the ER.
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  They said, oh, you have a concussion.
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  Go home and rest, but they didn't know what concussion meant.
• 9:24
  Right.
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  People would walk out of the ER thinking, oh, I'll be fine in a couple days, or I'll be fine
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  in a couple weeks, and they don't realize that unless you treat it and you really take it
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  seriously, you can have lifelong effects from a concussion.
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  There's no such thing as having just a concussion.
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  And, thankfully, in the last decade, there's been a lot more awareness on brain injury.
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  There's a movie called concussions starring Will Smith that's a true story of the doctor
• 9:50
  who discovered CTE and football players.
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  I actually saw that.
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  And now that you're bringing it, I was an amazing it was unbelievable, actually.
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  It's great.
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  It's been so great to bring more awareness to brain injuries.
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  Although that's been that's more focused on CTE and football, but the concussion effects, the
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  way that that movie shows the anger and the struggles that these players would have, that's
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  I mean, you you you don't realize when you have your brain is connected to everything.
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  There are nerve neuro pathways and nerve Endings, your neurological system goes through
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  your entire body.
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  So people who have things like MS and different neurological conditions, it's It stems from
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  your your brain and your, you know, I'm not a doctor.
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  I don't know all the details, but I know that if your brain is affected, it's more like your
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  whole body's affected.
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  Mhmm.
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  Of course.
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  And especially depending on what area if the brain gets injured, you can have a lot of
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  struggle.
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  I had frontal lobe damage.
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  Actually, a damage to almost every lobe of my brain injury.
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  The frontal lobe was one the main ones.
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  Oh gosh.
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  I'm not remembering.
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  The doctor I saw last year was explaining to me the different lobes of the brain that were
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  affected.
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  I can't remember exactly, but the frontal lobe does
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  The executive functioning of of of
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  reasoning and emotion.
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  Lodge.
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  Yep.
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  Yep.
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  So it's definitely a struggle.
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  And Yeah.
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  I think so you asked about misconceptions.
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  Another misconception is the types of brain injuries.
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  So a stroke with brain injury, a brain tumor, a brain surgery causes brain injury.
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  And often will have similar symptoms.
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  Brain cancer has similar symptoms, traumatic brain injuries, concussion.
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  There's open head injuries, closed head injuries, And no one is more serious than the
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  other or no.
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  I shouldn't say that that way.
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  Let me just rephrase that.
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  There are different, of course, some injuries are more serious than the other, but what I'm
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  trying to explain is a closed head injury where the school doesn't break can actually be more
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  serious than an open head injury.
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  And people think that if your skull breaks, that that's more serious, And it it depends on
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  the person because every brain injury is different.
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  Often close head injuries like the kind that I had It would have been better had my skull
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  broken because the pressure would have been relieved.
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  Because they would have had to relieve the pressure.
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  Well, if skull broke, it would have naturally been relieved because the skull, like, the it
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  when the skull remains intact, often can cushions end up with longer and worse symptoms
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  simply because the pressure swelling.
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  And of course, when I say, I'm I'm I'm not meaning to make broad generalizations.
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  Understand that every single is another misconception, but every single brain injury is
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  different.
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  They say if you've seen one brain injury, you've seen one brain injury.
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  Yeah.
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  Exactly.
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  It's that unique.
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  Now how did, your family cope with this.
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  I mean, you're young at this point.
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  You, obviously, you were struggling.
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  You were you were not well.
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  How how did they support you to get through this?
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  So I needed 247 care for a long time, and my mother cared for me 247, like, to the point of
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  needing help in the bathroom.
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  Oh my goodness.
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  The level of care that I needed help with because I simply couldn't remember how to do
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  things.
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  And I did have muscle spasms and right sided weakness, but it wasn't so much that I couldn't
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  physically remember how to get dressed.
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  It was that I couldn't executively process the steps that it took for me to get dressed.
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  So I put my socks on over my shoes.
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  So you didn't remember the sequence of what Exactly.
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  Because of the executive functioning of kinda like if I said to you, go brush your teeth.
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  You probably wouldn't remember the logical steps.
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  To put toothpaste on my toothbrush.
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  I would like, yeah,
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  brush it off.
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  On it and brush my teeth and forget the toothpaste part.
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  And one of the things that the occupational therapists work with me on was I had a binder
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  with a checklist.
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  I literally had checklist for everything.
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  I had my morning routine checklist, and it was down to pick up your toothbrush, put toothpaste
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  on it, run it under water.
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  You know, brush your bottom teeth, brush your top teeth, rinse it off, like, down to that
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  level because I literally it wouldn't occur to me.
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  To do these simple things, like, to rinse off my toothbrush after I was done.
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  You know, these these things that seem like simple daily life tasks became a huge challenge
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  and became a huge struggle.
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  And for many people with brain injuries, they don't understand, and they're in denial, and
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  they can't physically comprehend what's happening so they don't know what they're
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  struggling with.
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  And if it wasn't for my my mom and my dad, my family, that my mom was able to observe these
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  things, and my mom was a kindergarten teacher for 20 years.
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  And so she knew how to help Children, learn things.
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  So it was basically like she was reteaching me.
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  Reteaching you from, like, from, like, the beginning.
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  So the patients that must have taken.
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  Yes.
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  And it was, like, I'd hold I'd hold her hand, and I tug on her shirt, and I'd sit on her lap.
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  And I was, like, you know, fifteen.
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  Right.
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  And I had 2 younger sisters I have 2 younger sisters.
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  One of them's 4 years younger than me.
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  The other one's 10 years younger than me.
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  And baby was 4 when it happened.
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  Oh my goodness.
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  She and I became kind of on the same level for a while.
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  So we'd watch Sesame Street together, both be entertained she she would teach me how to color
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  in the lines, play sheets and ladders.
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  Like, my mom jokes it was like I had a built in occupational therapist.
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  Because my little sister would just teach me how to play stuff, and it was
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  She was probably excited.
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  She had a a a buddy to
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  Yeah.
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  And it was like, she was almost big sistering me.
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  And think about that.
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  So it definitely affects the entire family.
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  I was I'm very, very blessed, unfortunate that you know, my my mom was able to care for me.
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  Of course, we took a huge financial hit as a family.
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  My parents did, and They spent all of their savings on my medical bills.
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  All of them.
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  So, you know, it's something that's been a lot.
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  And also my mom not working.
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  So she
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  took care of me.
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  So how what a what a an act of love in in caring for you to get you back.
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  They still we're, you know, we're still they're still, you know, struggling with that.
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  Like, they don't have retirement, anything.
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  They spend it all on the medical stuff and they've but my mom says, but you're here.
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  Like Mhmm.
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  You know, you're you're doing better, and that's what we want.
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  We care about our daughter more than we care about anything else.
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  And so I'm very fortunate.
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  Not everybody has a family that comes around them.
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  And the divorce rate after brain injury is sadly so huge because people They don't the
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  brain injured person can't comprehend what's happening to them.
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  And often, the partner will not understand what's going on with them.
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  They just know they're acting crazy.
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  And they'll fight and they don't know.
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  And and I've, unfortunately, in my brain injury support groups that I've been going to And a
• 17:22
  large number of them were lost, like, one of them.
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  He while he was in the hospital and struggling and he came back home or whatever, like, his
• 17:31
  wife left him and took the kids and, like, he's been rebuilding relationships with his kids now
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  that he's been out of rehab.
• 17:38
  When I say rehab, I mean, brain injury rehab, not drug rehab.
• 17:42
  I mean, rehabilitating.
• 17:44
  He had to relearn how to Right.
• 17:45
  Of course.
• 17:46
  So, of course, it's gonna devastate a lot of things like it.
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  So it's a it's really it's in a way.
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  It's like a rebirth while you rebuild.
• 17:54
  Yeah.
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  And honestly, like, everybody's journey is different, but I have to say, like, creativity
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  was a huge part of my healing process.
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  So I started to write music
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  after college.
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  And I mean, that's the fascinating part.
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  That's the fascination with the brain, right, as a psychotherapist.
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  I often say, you know, it is so powerful So, you know, from, you know, not remembering that
• 18:19
  your, you know, your socks go on before your shoes to now you've unlocked this mystery of
• 18:29
  writing music.
• 18:30
  So let's let's talk a bit about that because that's that shows you how how little we know of
• 18:35
  we know so much with neuroscience, but how truly little we really know.
• 18:40
  Yeah.
• 18:40
  So talk a little bit about how did you discover that first of all?
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  You went through a while of recovery.
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  And then at some point
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  It was actually pretty It was within the 1st 6 weeks.
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  It was within 1st month of the brain injury.
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  I started to come up with songs and the doctor thinks that I had Savant syndrome, which is
• 18:59
  when you hit your head and then you get really good at a certain skill.
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  It's something with will balance in your brain the way they describe it, but basically, like,
• 19:07
  I lost common sense.
• 19:09
  So, like, I wouldn't remember to look cars far across the street.
• 19:12
  I'd struggle with all these things, but and I couldn't hold I was speaking 2 or 3 word
• 19:17
  sentences.
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  I lost my vocabulary.
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  I couldn't really hold conversations very well, but I started to write songs.
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  And I had taken piano lessons as a kid, but I quit before I was 10 because I just was, like,
• 19:30
  not interested in practicing.
• 19:32
  I never played any other instruments.
• 19:34
  Well, no.
• 19:34
  I played phone in band as a kid, but I didn't play, like, guitar until after the brain
• 19:39
  injury.
• 19:41
  And we had a piano at home, and I sat down piano when I started just playing and writing
• 19:50
  songs, and I brought my parents this piece of paper that had these lyrics written on it and
• 19:54
  really bad handwriting because I'm right handed.
• 19:56
  My right side was the side that was atrophied, so my handwriting got really awful.
• 20:01
  And I couldn't read back to them what I'd written.
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  I just handed them this piece of paper, and they were like, what's this?
• 20:08
  And it was lyrics that rhymed and made sense.
• 20:12
  And to them, my conversations were not making sense.
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  And I was repeating myself over and over.
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  Mhmm.
• 20:18
  And
• 20:18
  they were like, These are deep lyrics that rhyme and make sense.
• 20:22
  What is going on?
• 20:23
  And they went to the doctor.
• 20:25
  The doctor said music affects the brain differently.
• 20:28
  So to just kinda go with it, we didn't really know what was happening at the time.
• 20:32
  So my parents were just My parents were just decided to support that because that seemed to
• 20:41
  be an area where I was excelling in every other area.
• 20:45
  I was struggling and declining.
• 20:48
  Mhmm.
• 20:49
  So I I started writing 100.
• 20:51
  Within the first year, I wrote 100 songs.
• 20:53
  And my dad bought me my first guitar off the internet.
• 20:56
  He just ordered me a guitar because, so I could learn.
• 21:00
  And the second day I had it, I started writing songs on it, and music just became this outlet
• 21:06
  and something that I helped me get through my recovery and helped me to express my emotions
• 21:13
  and feelings, what I couldn't speak, I could sing.
• 21:16
  And I had a voice teacher that worked with the speech therapist and the voice teacher was able
• 21:24
  to recognize.
• 21:25
  I my right side so my right side of my soft pallet, the right side of my, my voice was
• 21:31
  affected.
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  Half of my face was affected.
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  And she was able to work on my singing, and my singing helped me to not slur my speech as
• 21:39
  much.
• 21:40
  And so the singing helped my speech and everything, and it just was a huge, huge thing.
• 21:49
  Of course, I never expected to, like, make a CD or be an artist, but
• 21:54
  So tell people about that because not only did you this mystery of the brain, you see, you
• 22:01
  start to write hundreds of sounds.
• 22:03
  And then you have recently you've been touring, but, of course, because with what's happened
• 22:08
  with COVID, Cristabel's concerts have been canceled, obviously, with all the in person
• 22:13
  events.
• 22:14
  But, and you just recently released the CD?
• 22:18
  I did.
• 22:19
  Yeah.
• 22:19
  In March March 20th, I released a new album called Declaration.
• 22:23
  It's on all streaming services, like, Spotify, Apple Music, everything like that.
• 22:27
  If anyone wants to listen, but I have a couple albums out now, but it started after my brain
• 22:34
  injury.
• 22:34
  So I was just writing so many songs, and I wanted to sing them.
• 22:39
  And the first ever performance I had was, like, at a local Christian bookstore.
• 22:45
  I was like the opener of the opener for this, you know, local singer songwriter.
• 22:52
  And I sang a couple songs.
• 22:54
  And he the guy who was the main guy had been doing it for a long time, he was pretty well
• 22:59
  known in the area.
• 23:00
  And He saw something in me, and he talked to my parents and asked if I could come and open for
• 23:06
  him at all his shows.
• 23:07
  So I went from never performing to having a pretty full schedule because of this man and
• 23:13
  his, you know, he was around the same age as my parents.
• 23:17
  He was just very kind and, I think he he was a little older than my parents.
• 23:23
  And he just saw something in in me and wanted to give me opportunities, and I'll be forever
• 23:30
  grateful for him.
• 23:32
  That's amazing.
• 23:33
  So the next year and a half, almost every weekend I was singing with him.
• 23:38
  And that's how it began.
• 23:39
  And then I started to be asked to sing, do my own concerts at at churches.
• 23:45
  And a lot of this was at churches, and people asked me to share my story and sing some of my
• 23:51
  songs that were written about having a brain injury.
• 23:54
  And people started asking me for a CD, and I was like, why would I make a CD?
• 23:58
  Like, I
• 23:58
  was still in rehab therapy.
• 23:59
  I was still mixing up my clothes when I was getting dressed.
• 24:03
  I didn't I never had this vision of being a a touring artist, and it just spread by
• 24:11
  word-of-mouth.
• 24:11
  And, honestly, Roxanne, like, I I have no other explanation for it.
• 24:16
  Besides just the lord opened these doors, and it was I never sought out events for the 1st 5
• 24:22
  years of performing.
• 24:24
  People just would email me and hear about me, and it just got spread and spread.
• 24:28
  And if it wasn't for that, I never would have pursued it because It it just wasn't on my list
• 24:32
  of priorities, but when people would ask me to do it, I was like, oh, sure.
• 24:36
  So that's how it grew.
• 24:37
  I studied music in college.
• 24:39
  And
• 24:40
  So you went on to you went on to colleges?
• 24:42
  I did.
• 24:42
  Yes.
• 24:43
  It I had a lot of accommodations.
• 24:46
  Took a lot of extra.
• 24:48
  You know, struggle, but I did make it through.
• 24:51
  And I I learned more about music, and I started touring after college and sharing my story.
• 25:02
  Concerts at brain injury centers and rehab centers.
• 25:06
  Homeless shelters, prison ministries is just really big on my heart to connect with people.
• 25:10
  That are going through hard times and bring hope, Billy.
• 25:14
  So so let's talk about that because that's This is a one of kind story.
• 25:19
  I'm sure you've heard that as as you've spoken on stages and, you know, sharing it.
• 25:25
  It's it's it's It's one of those miracles, right, that something like this happens and
• 25:31
  although this gets such a profound gift comes from it.
• 25:36
  There must have been did you have struggles?
• 25:38
  Like, what kind of struggles emotionally, mentally did you have?
• 25:42
  Because I'm sure everybody is staying that will be listening will be thinking, how did you get
• 25:47
  through this?
• 25:48
  Yeah.
• 25:48
  It's a lot a lot of struggle.
• 25:50
  So when I share my story like that, you have to understand that's 10 years of a story.
• 25:56
  Right.
• 25:56
  My first my first concert when I told you about playing at that little show was 2009.
• 26:03
  Wow.
• 26:04
  And so I'm here in 2020.
• 26:06
  So you have to realize it didn't just go like that.
• 26:10
  It wasn't just, oh, I'm I'm singing at a couple local places to touring nationally.
• 26:15
  That's a 10 year journey.
• 26:17
  Right.
• 26:18
  But I will say that, probably some of my biggest struggles were more more so besides all
• 26:27
  the physical struggles, so symptoms, headaches, overstimulation, overwhelmed light sensitivity,
• 26:35
  pain, just pain, chronic pain, pain in my back, pain in my head, I had whiplash in my neck,
• 26:40
  just all sorts of chronic pain, struggling with, I have dysautonomia, which is dysfunction
• 26:47
  of your autonomic nervous system, and I didn't even discover that I had it until last year.
• 26:54
  And Well, what does so if it's so the autonomic nervous system takes care of things that you
• 27:00
  don't think about.
• 27:01
  Yes.
• 27:02
  And so most brain injury survivors actually have this, and it's not often talked about Like
• 27:08
  I said, I didn't discover until last year.
• 27:09
  So, basically, it's like your body's constantly stuck in fight or flight response.
• 27:14
  And you can't turn it off.
• 27:16
  And So you're
• 27:16
  in the you're in the the sympathetic nervous system and you're you're constantly on where
• 27:22
  you're you're protecting against.
• 27:23
  Struggle.
• 27:24
  And I I've had therapy for that in the last year, which has helped, but I was having heart
• 27:28
  rate things.
• 27:29
  Like, I'd I'd sit up and I'd feel so light headed.
• 27:31
  Like, I was gonna pass out or I'd go up the stairs and I always felt like my heart was
• 27:37
  racing and I just thought I was out of shape.
• 27:38
  Like, I didn't know no matter how much I had exercised, it would just feel worse.
• 27:43
  And so I didn't know I had to see a cardiologist.
• 27:47
  And they did a hold for monitor.
• 27:48
  They did all these tests.
• 27:49
  You know, it's it's crazy.
• 27:50
  The brain injury affects everything.
• 27:51
  I was having knee injuries.
• 27:53
  My brain didn't connect to the right side of my body.
• 27:56
  Right.
• 27:57
  And last year, I saw a functional neuro Minnesota, the Functional Neurology Center
• 28:01
  actually flew out there for a week.
• 28:03
  Doctor Jeremy Schmo changed my life.
• 28:06
  And in 1 week, he reconnected my brain to the right side of my body.
• 28:09
  I actually have a video.
• 28:10
  I had my right knee reflex was barely there.
• 28:13
  Like, they'd they'd hit it.
• 28:15
  No reflex.
• 28:17
  It take, like, 10 times of hitting it to even get a little bit of something after 1 week of
• 28:22
  doing nerve stimulation and neurological therapies.
• 28:25
  My knee reflex came back.
• 28:27
  And that's that's a big sign of dysautonomia.
• 28:30
  It's not having reflexes.
• 28:32
  So it's like your reflex and the things that you don't think about your heart rate,
• 28:37
  regulation of that, regulation of your fight or flight response, stuff that your body's
• 28:41
  supposed to do automatically It's like your brain is doing instead of subconsciously, doing
• 28:47
  consciously.
• 28:48
  So it sucks out all your energy because your brain is It's like your brains on overdrive.
• 28:52
  Like, your your computer has too many tabs open.
• 28:55
  Mhmm.
• 28:55
  And then eventually, it's gonna be overloaded.
• 28:58
  Yeah.
• 28:59
  And so
• 29:00
  That's a very basic way to understand it, but, you know, I struggled with that for so many
• 29:05
  years and not until that therapy in 2019.
• 29:08
  For the first time ever, I can walk without looking at my feet.
• 29:12
  Because you'd always think you're injury.
• 29:14
  Because you think you're gonna fall.
• 29:15
  Mhmm.
• 29:16
  And vestibular system issues.
• 29:18
  And a lot of this is stuff.
• 29:19
  I didn't even realize vision issues, eye tracking issues, constant struggles, like
• 29:26
  things that that that it just literally it just literally affected everything.
• 29:34
  And so it's And it's a long journey of even uncovering and understanding it.
• 29:40
  And only what I always say it's like the recovery is like you put out the biggest fire.
• 29:44
  Right?
• 29:45
  So at first, it was like, can she get dressed?
• 29:47
  Can she function?
• 29:48
  Can she, you know, get through the day?
• 29:51
  You know, and so you work on all these tests.
• 29:53
  And then once you kind of figure out that, only in the last couple of years, have I been wait a
• 29:58
  minute.
• 29:58
  My vision isn't right.
• 29:59
  Okay.
• 30:00
  Well, let's figure this out Okay.
• 30:02
  To oh, okay.
• 30:03
  My heart rate is really off because I've been now that I got a little bit better, I was
• 30:07
  trying to exercise eyes, and I couldn't.
• 30:09
  And I was struggling.
• 30:10
  I couldn't function.
• 30:12
  And so I discovered the heart rate.
• 30:14
  So I went to the cardiologist.
• 30:15
  It's like you're constantly uncovering different There you
• 30:18
  go from one step to another to another as you kinda, okay, you take care of the big, you
• 30:23
  know, things, and then you slowly go back to the small Oh, this is still bothering me now.
• 30:28
  The small things are big things.
• 30:29
  Yeah.
• 30:30
  Yep.
• 30:30
  With not having a right knee reflex, I actually had to write knee spray and I had a knee spray
• 30:34
  and knee injury apparently, and the doctor doctor that I told you about the functional
• 30:39
  neurologist, he explained to me how knee injuries and concussions are extremely
• 30:43
  interrelated.
• 30:44
  Because of your brain and the way your vestibular system and the way it connects to
• 30:49
  your body.
• 30:49
  And so it's just really interesting.
• 30:52
  But so, like, all these physical struggles that I still have been uncovering and dealing with,
• 30:56
  of course, the migraines, trying to find the right migraine medications, trying to figure
• 31:00
  out the right supplements, the things that will work, the things that don't work.
• 31:05
  I had a migraine medication that caused me to all my hair to fall out.
• 31:09
  Like, not all I say, but, like, over 50% of hair loss at 21.
• 31:15
  Like Yes.
• 31:15
  There you go.
• 31:16
  Should not be falling out like that.
• 31:17
  No.
• 31:17
  No.
• 31:18
  So with all those struggles, psychologically, how did you keep it together and emotionally?
• 31:25
  Cause I think that's the part that I listen and these, you know, when you hear people when they
• 31:31
  struggle physically and and they're talking about not even a 16th of what you're struggling
• 31:36
  with, and we know how much pain affects things.
• 31:39
  How did you What kind of things did you do psychologically and emotionally to to to kinda
• 31:44
  keep putting quite literally one foot in front of the other?
• 31:48
  So the physical struggles I just described, and that didn't even scratch the surface of
• 31:52
  everything.
• 31:53
  But keeping it together, I would say I didn't necessarily.
• 32:00
  The 1st 5 years were very dark, and very, very, very challenging.
• 32:06
  And if it wasn't for my mom, I would have just complete I wouldn't be I would not be who I am.
• 32:13
  I would not be functioning where I am.
• 32:14
  My mom is a very compassionate, kind, hearted.
• 32:19
  She's a woman of faith She is just very, she I would say my rock, you know, like, she holds
• 32:28
  our family together and she helped me through processing through a lot of this stuff.
• 32:35
  And, so that and seeing, you know, nurse psychologists help as well.
• 32:44
  I would say that though my relationship with my mom was a lot more beneficial just because
• 32:48
  she's my you know, I see her all the time.
• 32:50
  So she really did provided a foundation of support that's, like, helped you through so
• 32:56
  many things.
• 32:57
  And and I have a couple other, small things.
• 33:01
  Brand injury support groups.
• 33:03
  Huge.
• 33:03
  When I first started to realize I wasn't alone, Everything shifted.
• 33:08
  And I started to instead of thinking that there was something wrong with me and that I was
• 33:12
  broken, because when you think you're broken, like, it I I felt hopeless.
• 33:17
  I felt afraid.
• 33:18
  I felt scared.
• 33:19
  I felt like my life was never gonna be the same, and I lost all my hope.
• 33:23
  And I it took a long time for me to not be ashamed of having the brain injury because I
• 33:28
  got bullied in school after it happened.
• 33:30
  Like, the kids were just really mean and really awful.
• 33:33
  And I felt like I was defective.
• 33:36
  And, like, this injury made me less of a person.
• 33:38
  And it took realizing that it's an injury that can happen to anyone.
• 33:43
  It doesn't take away from my worth.
• 33:45
  And I'm still valuable even with a brain injury in my faith played a huge, huge role in that
• 33:52
  understanding that god still had a plan for my life and he was gonna work it out through this
• 33:58
  and digging into my faith writing music, I I always suggest the brain injury survivors.
• 34:03
  I run hope after head injury.
• 34:05
  Backcountry.com.
• 34:06
  It's I have a brain injury support group online every Tuesday night.
• 34:09
  I do a live video for brain injury support, and I travel and speak to brain injury survivors.
• 34:14
  And I always encourage creativity and expressing of emotions because otherwise,
• 34:20
  you're just gonna bottle everything up and you need some outlet to help you get through it.
• 34:24
  But Being connected with others, other survivors, when I met other teenagers that were
• 34:30
  going through what I went through, that changed everything.
• 34:32
  I went to a camp called camp cranium.
• 34:35
  For kids with brain injuries, and I volunteer there now.
• 34:38
  And I met other kids that had brain injuries, and that was the first time I realized, like,
• 34:43
  there are other people like me So that was huge in the recovery and really just making a choice
• 34:52
  to say, I'm going to get up today, and I'm going to giving you yourself grace, giving
• 35:00
  yourself permission to struggle and realizing that life is hard.
• 35:05
  And every day, you might have really bad pain, but I can choose to have hope.
• 35:13
  And I can choose to have faith, and I can choose to keep going and realizing that when I
• 35:18
  realize that hope is not a feeling that hope is a choice, that changed everything.
• 35:23
  So for let's say people listening, family members or employers or managers, right, That
• 35:31
  when people are going back, you know, to functioning at a certain level at work, how
• 35:36
  could they support either family members or partners What kind of things would you suggest
• 35:41
  to to help?
• 35:42
  So family and work situations are quite different.
• 35:45
  Yes.
• 35:46
  But in a family situation, education, like family members take the time to learn about
• 35:51
  brain injury and they realize when this person snaps at me, they're not mad at me.
• 35:57
  Their brain just isn't right.
• 35:58
  Yeah.
• 35:59
  Like, or their brain is overwhelmed.
• 36:01
  Like, once my mom was able to recognize, like, oh, crystal hasn't drank enough water today,
• 36:06
  She has a bad headache.
• 36:08
  That's why she's being rude.
• 36:10
  I'm not being rude because I'm trying to be rude.
• 36:13
  I'm being rude because my brain just can't process things, and I'm being in sensitive
• 36:17
  simply because I'm not processing, so it comes across as selfish.
• 36:22
  And I'm not meaning to be selfish.
• 36:24
  It's not my heart.
• 36:25
  I I have a very loving and compassionate heart, and I always did before my brain injury, but
• 36:30
  they were many years that I had no self awareness.
• 36:33
  And I was extremely rude to my family without meaning to be.
• 36:38
  And, you know, my mom did a lot of research and she was realizing, oh, when her brain is
• 36:44
  exhausted and observation too, when her brain's exhausted or she wakes up with a headache,
• 36:51
  She's gonna be she, like, she might be rude and realizing not to take it personally.
• 36:55
  So I think that's a big thing for family and friends is if somebody if they forget
• 37:00
  something, they don't text you back or whatever.
• 37:03
  It not to take it personally, but to treat the person with compassion, you might have to
• 37:07
  repeat your to them a lot, but educating yourself on brain injury, there are brain
• 37:11
  injury conferences all over attending those with the person.
• 37:16
  When family and friends come with them to understand more and go to a support group with
• 37:22
  them, learn more about brain injury.
• 37:24
  Because when you other people with brain injuries, you can learn more to help the person
• 37:28
  that you love.
• 37:29
  Now when it comes to employers and, going back to work, First of all, brain injury is a
• 37:35
  disability, accommodations are okay.
• 37:39
  Like, I have I talked to somebody who had a brain injury that She has light sensitivity and
• 37:44
  at her job, they turned off the 2 fluorescent lights above her desk, changed everything for
• 37:50
  her just because the employer recognize she can do her job.
• 37:54
  She just needs a little bit of help.
• 37:57
  They got her 2 monitors instead of 1, so she could have everything bigger on her desk.
• 38:02
  And so finding the things that works for that person and being accommodating with that will
• 38:09
  help them go a long way and and also just having compassion and realizing that when when
• 38:16
  somebody's struggling, They're not blaming it on their brain injury.
• 38:20
  It actually your brain injury affects everything.
• 38:22
  And so to understand that, hey.
• 38:25
  This this person they're not making excuses.
• 38:29
  Like, this is real.
• 38:30
  Even if you can't see it, if you look fine, like, I can look fine, especially if I take
• 38:35
  time to put on makeup or grow my hair.
• 38:38
  Right.
• 38:38
  Right.
• 38:38
  Not tell the amount of pain that I'm in on the inside.
• 38:43
  Mhmm.
• 38:43
  And that goes for emotional.
• 38:45
  That goes for everybody.
• 38:46
  Right?
• 38:47
  But when we're specifically talking about brain injury, the physical pain and struggles can be
• 38:53
  hidden quite easily.
• 38:55
  And having that level of understanding that what you see is not what you get always, can be
• 39:01
  very, very helpful when it comes to work situation and
• 39:04
  and every situation.
• 39:06
  Just understanding communication understanding the needs of an accommodation, obviously.
• 39:11
  But I think to your point, like, talking to the individual, like you said, right, like, as it
• 39:17
  is, you you there may be the struggle that think that's something I'm broken because
• 39:20
  something's wrong with me, but really it's an injury.
• 39:23
  So to reintegrate that person back, just to ask to figure out what do you need.
• 39:28
  How how do you want me to manage you?
• 39:30
  You know, what are you are there some skills obviously that would I did be identified in the
• 39:34
  accommodation?
• 39:35
  Absolutely.
• 39:35
  That's practical and, those types of things.
• 39:38
  But I think on a on a human level to understand how that person wants to be treated, because
• 39:44
  I'm gonna assume point, you just wanna be treated like everybody else.
• 39:47
  Mhmm.
• 39:47
  And to be able to not, you know
• 39:49
  fine line.
• 39:50
  Like, yes.
• 39:51
  I wanna be treated like everyone else, but in some respects, I don't because I want you to
• 39:57
  understand that I have a brain injury.
• 40:00
  And so when I was in college, you know, I I had accommodations.
• 40:04
  I had to take extra time on my test.
• 40:06
  My professors would give me extra time on assignments because I had I had the medical
• 40:10
  documentation for that.
• 40:13
  And if I was expected to you know, take my tests in the room with everyone where I was
• 40:20
  gonna be distracted and in the same amount of time as everyone when my brain physically
• 40:24
  processed this slower.
• 40:26
  That wouldn't have been fair.
• 40:28
  And it would have made me feel worse and more discouraged.
• 40:31
  So, like, yes.
• 40:32
  I wanna be treated like everyone else in the sense of I don't want you to think I have less
• 40:36
  value of as being a human.
• 40:39
  Like, I am I'm still a human being with value.
• 40:42
  But I might need a little extra help.
• 40:45
  So there's that line between compassion and understanding, like, hey.
• 40:51
  I I wanna help this person.
• 40:53
  They might need more than somebody else, but then also realizing every human is equal.
• 40:58
  We all you know, we all have value no matter who we are, no matter where we come from, no
• 41:04
  matter what we look like, no matter what we do, every person on this planet has value and
• 41:10
  realizing disability or not, this person has value.
• 41:14
  Absolutely.
• 41:15
  And that's definitely something, you know, that anyone, we come into the world that way.
• 41:21
  We all have that, our experiences, whatever it is.
• 41:25
  But in your situation, I think sharing like you do because I believe when we talked, you were
• 41:30
  heading to Washington, weren't you to
• 41:32
  I was.
• 41:33
  Yes.
• 41:34
  I went to brain injury.
• 41:36
  So I I do advocacy work with the Brandon Tree Association of America.
• 41:41
  Right.
• 41:41
  So I represented my state Brandon Tree Association of Pennsylvania.
• 41:45
  And we met with members of Congress and talking about legislation for brain injury.
• 41:51
  And And how
• 41:52
  and how did that go?
• 41:53
  It went well.
• 41:54
  This is my 4th year going
• 41:56
  there.
• 41:56
  So Awesome.
• 41:57
  Yeah.
• 41:58
  So tell everybody about bit about your podcast.
• 42:02
  Tell them about your book, and I want you to tell them again, just about, you know, if they
• 42:07
  ever wanted your your true inspiration in what you are sharing just about the change that
• 42:13
  you're impacting in the world.
• 42:15
  You know, I've learned so much today.
• 42:17
  You know, I'm a mom to someone that played hockey.
• 42:20
  And I I really think of how much of the minimizing happens in in sports.
• 42:26
  And, it really it really kind of showed me today how we really have to protect, you know,
• 42:32
  our brain, you know, as much as possible.
• 42:34
  So this education that you're doing, I think, is is so so vital.
• 42:39
  But, tell them about the podcast, tell them about the book, and
• 42:42
  Absolutely.
• 42:43
  You
• 42:43
  know, those types of things.
• 42:44
  And if people are ever wanting to connect with you, once the speaking gets going again or
• 42:49
  whether you're gonna be doing speak first cruel speaking events, I would like people to know
• 42:52
  where they can get
• 42:54
  Thank you.
• 42:54
  I appreciate that.
• 42:55
  So first, I wanna say I remember what it's like to feel hopeless, and I don't want anyone else
• 43:00
  to feel that way.
• 43:01
  So I started hope after head injury.
• 43:03
  If you're survivor, if you're listening, if you've had a brain injury, a concussion, a
• 43:08
  stroke, a brain tumor, any type brand aneurysm, any type of brain injury, you're welcome to
• 43:15
  join my online support group, hope after head injury dot com, Facebook, hope after head
• 43:19
  injury would love to have you there.
• 43:21
  And also I encourage everyone to join your local brain injury support group.
• 43:24
  And if you need help finding it, that's one of the things I do.
• 43:27
  So if you join my online group, and you need help finding somewhere near you.
• 43:31
  I have a really big network of brain injury organizations, and I'd love to help you find
• 43:36
  support.
• 43:38
  Now second of all, like you asked, I have a podcast called Declaration Life, and this
• 43:43
  podcast is about living with intention and purpose.
• 43:46
  And I interview women sharing their life stories.
• 43:50
  And and throughout March is brand injury awareness month.
• 43:54
  Every single interview was a brand injury survivor.
• 43:56
  So I have a lot of interviews with brain injury survivors on there, chronic illness survivors,
• 44:01
  and also just overcomers, people who've come from hard places in life, and come out and have
• 44:06
  a a positive message to share.
• 44:09
  So if you're interested in a positive uplifting type, you know, inspirational podcasts.
• 44:14
  That's where I it's where I gear towards.
• 44:17
  We do special I'd I've been doing special episodes on different things.
• 44:21
  I have one on brain health, which is about nutrition and the types of foods that can help
• 44:26
  you with your brain health and lifestyle for brain health.
• 44:30
  So that's available.
• 44:32
  I have a book called more to me.
• 44:34
  It is a devotional.
• 44:35
  It's available on Amazon.
• 44:37
  It's called more to me discovering your freedom through identity.
• 44:39
  It is a prayer journal devotional.
• 44:41
  So it has, like, Bible verses in there and journaling questions and, some of my personal
• 44:48
  experiences and encouragement and, you know, devotional written that way.
• 44:52
  And then my music, of course, my music.
• 44:54
  Yeah.
• 44:55
  So chrisbellbraden.com.
• 44:56
  I all my CDs are available online.
• 45:00
  You can listen anywhere.
• 45:01
  I have videos on YouTube.
• 45:03
  I've been trying to post more YouTube videos.
• 45:05
  YouTube.
• 45:05
  I have
• 45:05
  to check it out in in all fairness.
• 45:07
  I didn't go on, but I will look at them now and check them out.
• 45:10
  Youtube.com/christvobrading, and my new album just came out.
• 45:14
  You know, like we said, all my concerts have been canceled, but I am booking for the fall
• 45:18
  and for next year.
• 45:20
  I do speaking events and concerts.
• 45:22
  I often will sing at all my keynote anyway.
• 45:26
  So I usually bring my guitar and sing a couple songs and integrate that in, but I have a bunch
• 45:31
  of music videos coming out about the new album as well.
• 45:34
  So instead of concerts, I'm gonna be putting out more videos.
• 45:37
  So you can keep on YouTube for that.
• 45:39
  But, yeah, thank you.
• 45:41
  I think that's
• 45:42
  great.
• 45:43
  So any last words before I share what I gained that you wanna say to anybody that's listening,
• 45:50
  that maybe, you know, has has dealt with something that has rocked their world and and
• 45:55
  what you, you know, Absolutely.
• 45:57
  Makes them second guess, you know, hopefulness.
• 46:00
  What what words of wisdom might be might be happening?
• 46:02
  I do have something.
• 46:03
  I did wanna mention real quick for that.
• 46:05
  You can add me on social media to Facebook, crystal Braden, Instagram, and stuff like that.
• 46:10
  I'd love to connect with you.
• 46:11
  Feel free to reach out and message, but when it comes to encouragement, oh gosh, like, I think
• 46:18
  the number one hardest thing when you go through something is acknowledging what you've
• 46:23
  been through.
• 46:24
  And you come to this fine line of acceptance where you realize, like, I need to accept this
• 46:31
  because this is what happened, and this is my reality, but I also don't wanna give up, and I
• 46:37
  don't wanna give hope.
• 46:38
  And here's an encouragement I can have for you accepting what's happened does not mean that
• 46:44
  you give up hope for the future.
• 46:47
  You have to come to a place of acknowledging, yes, this has happened, but this does not
• 46:52
  define me.
• 46:54
  Yes.
• 46:54
  This might be my reality, and this might be my struggles.
• 46:57
  But this is not who I am.
• 46:59
  This is just something that has happened in my life, something that's happened to me,
• 47:03
  something maybe that I've done or something that I've gone through.
• 47:07
  But it's not who I am.
• 47:09
  And learning how to make that distinction will really help you to rise above and to be an
• 47:14
  overcomer and to realize, you know what?
• 47:16
  Yes.
• 47:17
  This because you have to accept it, but you can only move forward once you come to that place
• 47:22
  of, alright, yes, but this doesn't define me.
• 47:26
  So moving forward, knowing it doesn't define you owning your story, not being afraid of
• 47:33
  sharing it with others, whether it's just a close friend or whether you wanna share it more
• 47:37
  publicly, both are valid and different people are called to different things.
• 47:42
  Not every person is called to Go on the internet and talk about their story, and I
• 47:46
  don't think everybody should, unless you really want to.
• 47:49
  Right.
• 47:50
  So but but but even talking to a friend about it, is really big.
• 47:54
  So, yeah, just accepting it and realizing it's not who you are.
• 47:58
  You can rise above.
• 48:00
  There's always hope and have hope for and never stop seeking answers.
• 48:04
  Like, when it comes to especially a health condition or medical care, like, leave no stone
• 48:10
  unturned, find new doctors, find new therapies, find new treatments, do what you can, and
• 48:16
  connect with others, and keep searching for answers because there is a better quality of
• 48:20
  life out there for you and keep working towards that.
• 48:25
  Well, thank you so much.
• 48:26
  So what what have I learned or what has been reiterated today is the power of the brain
• 48:34
  Right.
• 48:34
  And, you know, as much as yours was a loss through adversity came, a gift and, you know,
• 48:42
  and through your gift, you're educating the world on something that may have been left in
• 48:50
  the dark.
• 48:51
  Right?
• 48:51
  So as much as your reality when you were playing that red Robin, that game, was, the day
• 48:58
  that shifted your life, through that has come a gift that you are sharing your voice, sharing
• 49:06
  your words and being an inspiration to, I'm sure, young women are just people that have
• 49:13
  been through, pretty traumatic things and resilience, I think I will think of you as I
• 49:20
  think of the word resilience Christabel.
• 49:22
  What an what an amazing story, and thank you so much with gifting, me with your time and for
• 49:29
  people that are listening.
• 49:30
  So So please reach out, to to crystal Bell and and anyway, if you're needing support.
• 49:37
  So thank you again for listening.
• 49:38
  It's Roxanne Derhodge.
• 49:40
  You know, I'm a mental health and wellness specialist.
• 49:42
  If you're needing any support in that arena, you can reach me at Roxanne.
• 49:48
  Thanks again.
• 49:49
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
• 49:55
  healthy change.
• 49:56
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne.
• 50:02
  Visit rocksandurhaj.com/blueprint.
• 50:06
  We'll see you next time.
• 50:08
  On authentic living with Roxanne.