Latest / Inside the Birds: A Philadelphia Eagles Podcast / The DiCecco Daily Special With Former Eagles OLB Marcus Smith: "A Lot Of Us Are Suffering, And Not Really Speaking About It"

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The DiCecco Daily Special With Former Eagles OLB Marcus Smith: "A Lot Of Us Are Suffering, And Not Really Speaking About It" · Inside the Birds: A Philadelphia Eagles Podcast

0:09
Speaker 1: What's up, everybody. Welcome into this edition of the check Odaily.
0:13
Speaker 1: Andrew checo Here Eagles beat reporter for insidethebirds dot Com,
0:17
Speaker 1: and I have a special addition for you today because
0:21
Speaker 1: there's a very you know, heavy subject matter that needs
0:24
Speaker 1: attending to. And joining me today to help talk about
0:27
Speaker 1: that is Marcus Smith. And not only is he the
0:31
Speaker 1: founder and CEO of the Circle of M and A
0:34
Speaker 1: and M Sports and Fitness, he's also a first round
0:38
Speaker 1: pick in twenty fourteen of the Philadelphia Eagles. He also
0:40
Speaker 1: played for Seattle in Washington. Marcus, I really appreciate you
0:44
Speaker 1: carving out a few minutes to talk today.
0:45
Speaker 2: How are you, man, I'm doing pretty good. I can't complain.
0:49
Speaker 2: I appreciate you having me.
0:51
Speaker 1: You know. For those who don't know, Marcus and I
0:53
Speaker 1: had a conversation on Radio Row ahead of Super Bowl
0:56
Speaker 1: fifty seven, and we had a conversation markets that really
1:01
Speaker 1: resonated with me and stuck with me ever since. And
1:03
Speaker 1: I'm glad we were able to stay in contact from there.
1:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, man.
1:08
Speaker 3: I think you know, mental health has always been something
1:11
Speaker 3: important as always well not always, but it's been something
1:14
Speaker 3: that is a part of my life.
1:16
Speaker 2: Since twenty seventeen, since I've went.
1:18
Speaker 3: Through, you know, my mental health stress, and I just
1:22
Speaker 3: want to keep the message going because I think it
1:25
Speaker 3: really helps people.
1:27
Speaker 1: So we have to start with the devastating news that
1:30
Speaker 1: came out yesterday morning out of Dallas, Marshawn Nealan passed
1:34
Speaker 1: away at age twenty four. That really really really affected
1:39
Speaker 1: me in a big way, and I'm sure it resonated
1:41
Speaker 1: with you in a unique way. What were your immediate
1:43
Speaker 1: thoughts when that news came down.
1:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was something that I looked at and was
1:51
Speaker 3: very sad about. Now, there's been other guys who we've
1:56
Speaker 3: seen right that, you know, former players who you know,
2:00
Speaker 3: have ended their lives or something has happened to in
2:04
Speaker 3: recent right, but this one kind of hit home a
2:06
Speaker 3: little bit more because he was just entering into the
2:09
Speaker 3: league and he had just scored a touchdown on the
2:12
Speaker 3: last Monday night game, and you know, on the outside
2:15
Speaker 3: looking in, everything looked like it was going in the
2:18
Speaker 3: right direction for him. So when you see that, it
2:21
Speaker 3: just says to me that a lot of us are suffering.
2:25
Speaker 3: And with that suffering, we're not speaking up about it.
2:29
Speaker 3: We're not really taken to the initiative to go get
2:33
Speaker 3: the help that we need because we're suffering a way
2:36
Speaker 3: that we feel like we have to be silent. So
2:39
Speaker 3: I just looked at it like, man, what more can
2:42
Speaker 3: I do to be able to get to guys to
2:45
Speaker 3: let them know that we do have a community that
2:48
Speaker 3: can really help them push through.
2:50
Speaker 1: And you know, the crazy thing about it is somebody
2:54
Speaker 1: might look at it from the outside and see someone
2:56
Speaker 1: regardless of walk of life and think that everything's okay,
3:00
Speaker 1: and they may not think to check in on them.
3:03
Speaker 1: I'm somebody who I speak to those close to me
3:06
Speaker 1: about it, but not everybody understands. Mental health is something
3:09
Speaker 1: that I've been vocal about. And what would the what
3:12
Speaker 1: would your message be to those who may be you're
3:16
Speaker 1: not necessarily as inclined to check in on friends and
3:19
Speaker 1: things like that, thinking that everything's okay, what's your what's
3:23
Speaker 1: your school fult?
3:24
Speaker 3: When it comes to that, yeah, I would always say,
3:28
Speaker 3: you know, there's people that's close to you sometimes you
3:31
Speaker 3: you know, we always get bogged down with work or
3:33
Speaker 3: different things that we're doing. But if you think about
3:36
Speaker 3: that person, if that person comes into your mind, just
3:39
Speaker 3: text them and call them and say hey, on a
3:43
Speaker 3: scale of one to ten, how you feeling a day?
3:45
Speaker 3: Even ask yourself that because you would be surprised on
3:48
Speaker 3: how many people will tell you or rate how they're feeling.
3:52
Speaker 3: That way, you can gauge on how you can continue
3:55
Speaker 3: to engage on in the conversation because most.
3:58
Speaker 2: People will will say if you check on them, how
4:01
Speaker 2: you doing, Oh, I'm good, I'm good.
4:03
Speaker 3: Right, But as men, we were good ourselves into a
4:05
Speaker 3: deep depression, right.
4:07
Speaker 2: And that's something that I did for a long time.
4:09
Speaker 2: I didn't want anybody to know that I was dealing
4:11
Speaker 2: with what I was dealing with.
4:12
Speaker 3: Then went upstairs to know what I was dealing with,
4:15
Speaker 3: because I didn't want them to use that against me
4:18
Speaker 3: getting a new contract or being on a team. And
4:21
Speaker 3: that's just the reality of it. So I would always say, like,
4:24
Speaker 3: if a person comes to your mind, text them or
4:29
Speaker 3: call them if you know, don't hesitate to do that,
4:32
Speaker 3: because sometimes we just want somebody to say how you doing,
4:36
Speaker 3: or you know, I'm just checking in on you because
4:39
Speaker 3: that makes us feel good as people, and I think
4:42
Speaker 3: we should do more of that.
4:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, I make it a point to do that all
4:46
Speaker 1: the time, not because I need something, but just because
4:48
Speaker 1: I want to check in and just see how someone's doing.
4:51
Speaker 1: And I think that goes a long way. But Marcus,
4:53
Speaker 1: throughout your career, was there ever a point where you
4:56
Speaker 1: hesitated to reach out to somebody because you were thinking, well,
5:00
Speaker 1: they wouldn't understand.
5:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, all the time, all the time, Like I say
5:05
Speaker 3: this all the time. There was that point where I
5:09
Speaker 3: was dealing with a lot of anxiety.
5:10
Speaker 2: That anxiety turned into depression.
5:12
Speaker 3: I dealt with it in Philly, didn't really talk about
5:14
Speaker 3: it because I was trying to muscle through, just trying
5:17
Speaker 3: to do things that I couldn't do myself that I
5:21
Speaker 3: need the help. I needed therapy and things of that nature.
5:24
Speaker 3: And then once I got to Seattle, obviously, once I
5:28
Speaker 3: got there, I was driving down this path and I
5:33
Speaker 3: had woke up one morning I was going through a
5:35
Speaker 3: whole anxiety episode, couldn't really sleep, I had anxiety attack
5:39
Speaker 3: in my sleep. And so through that moment, I didn't
5:43
Speaker 3: feel like I had anybody to tell, Like I had
5:45
Speaker 3: my wife there, but I was afraid to tell her
5:48
Speaker 3: because she was pregnant and things of that nature. And
5:50
Speaker 3: so you know, I tried to in my life, but
5:53
Speaker 3: at that time I had two lifelines, which was my
5:57
Speaker 3: wife and my mother in law. And sometimes people don't
6:00
Speaker 3: have that certain lifeline, and I want to be able
6:04
Speaker 3: to be that lifeline for people. So I would say no,
6:07
Speaker 3: like I didn't want to tell anybody. I would have
6:11
Speaker 3: rather just got rid of the pain. And that's what
6:13
Speaker 3: most guys want to do. Like when people in their lives,
6:17
Speaker 3: sometimes sometimes it's just the pain itself that's too hard
6:20
Speaker 3: to bear and we have to learn how to break
6:24
Speaker 3: through that to be able to help them.
6:27
Speaker 1: Now, I want to rewind it back to something that
6:29
Speaker 1: you said that you noticed it begin around your time
6:33
Speaker 1: in Philadelphia. Do you remember what particularly spawned.
6:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, So when I got drafted first rounds of the
6:41
Speaker 3: Philadelphia Eagles, it was a culture shot for me, right.
6:44
Speaker 3: It was very different, the fans, everything and the need
6:49
Speaker 3: to succeed right, And I wasn't succeeding the way that
6:51
Speaker 3: I needed to write. I wasn't playing the word that
6:53
Speaker 3: I want the way that I wanted, and that put
6:56
Speaker 3: me in a depressed state, right, and I was just
6:58
Speaker 3: fighting through it, trying to get through it, trying to
7:00
Speaker 3: get to a place where you know, I could be
7:04
Speaker 3: like BG, I could be like Lane Johnson. I could
7:06
Speaker 3: be like all these guys who were first rounders. But
7:09
Speaker 3: I just felt like I wasn't living up to the
7:12
Speaker 3: standard that was being held and that really took a
7:14
Speaker 3: toll on me. And so throughout that process, I was
7:17
Speaker 3: constantly fighting to try to get back up the total pole.
7:21
Speaker 3: Then sometimes I would get injured and I wouldn't be
7:23
Speaker 3: able to continue to go. And then my third year
7:26
Speaker 3: was the only year that I was able to go
7:28
Speaker 3: throughout the whole year without getting getting injured. But obviously
7:31
Speaker 3: by the time you know, you get to the third year,
7:34
Speaker 3: you know it's a business. And so that's what landed
7:37
Speaker 3: me in Seattle because I didn't perform at the highest
7:41
Speaker 3: level that I know that I could perform at, and
7:43
Speaker 3: so I think that kind of weighed on me a lot,
7:45
Speaker 3: and it just trickled over into Seattle, and I never
7:48
Speaker 3: addressed those those issues.
7:51
Speaker 1: So you didn't have anyone to lean on in Philadelphia
7:53
Speaker 1: to express some of the some of the feelings that
7:56
Speaker 1: you were having.
7:58
Speaker 3: So sometimes I would talk to BG's, sometimes I would
8:00
Speaker 3: talk to.
8:04
Speaker 2: Trent Cole.
8:05
Speaker 3: Sometimes I would, you know, just kind of confine in
8:07
Speaker 3: them a little bit. But as far as a therapist
8:10
Speaker 3: and like just really being able to tell people my deepest,
8:14
Speaker 3: darkest secrets and stuff like that. I didn't really have
8:19
Speaker 3: the time to be able to do that, or the
8:20
Speaker 3: thought process to do that.
8:22
Speaker 2: I just felt like, man, I.
8:24
Speaker 3: Wish I would have said more, but sometimes as athletes,
8:29
Speaker 3: we'd just rather be silent.
8:31
Speaker 2: And that's what I'm trying to change.
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Speaker 1: Now in the world of social media, I mean a
9:47
Speaker 1: lot of that can certainly make things a lot worse.
9:51
Speaker 1: Do you feel that in this social media age that
9:54
Speaker 1: it's contributing to a lot of the damper that is
9:58
Speaker 1: putting on a lot of foo mental health.
10:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, I definitely think so social media can be really
10:06
Speaker 3: good for you or it could be really bad for you, right,
10:10
Speaker 3: and so on social media, a lot of times when
10:14
Speaker 3: the algorithm will put what you are interested in, right,
10:20
Speaker 3: And so if you're interested in a certain thing, you
10:25
Speaker 3: may be doing that thing, but you may not be
10:27
Speaker 3: as further along in that certain thing that you're doing,
10:30
Speaker 3: and it'll make you compare yourself to other people or
10:34
Speaker 3: certain businesses, and I think that puts a damper on
10:38
Speaker 3: just the people mentally, because it makes you feel like
10:40
Speaker 3: you're not moving as fast as you should be. People
10:44
Speaker 3: become depressed because they're like, man, my stuff isn't working,
10:46
Speaker 3: but not realizing that stuff takes time to get to
10:51
Speaker 3: where you are right. And I tell people that all
10:53
Speaker 3: the time when it comes to the mental health space.
10:55
Speaker 3: You know, I'm on many a platform speaking, but it
10:58
Speaker 3: took time for me to really tell my story and
11:01
Speaker 3: to get to that to that point and it's okay
11:04
Speaker 3: to just be starting from square one and you don't
11:06
Speaker 3: have to look at my story.
11:08
Speaker 2: Just tell your story. And so that's what I usually
11:12
Speaker 2: tell guys.
11:14
Speaker 1: So, Marcus, this is a story that you told me
11:17
Speaker 1: on Radio Rail. But what was your breaking point? I
11:20
Speaker 1: believe it was when you were in Seattle.
11:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, So for me, like my breaking point was I
11:28
Speaker 3: had anxiety attacks the night before I had a camp
11:33
Speaker 3: practice and I was with Seattle and I remember driving
11:36
Speaker 3: on this long road and I was in so much
11:40
Speaker 3: pain mentally. Like I don't know if you guys ever
11:42
Speaker 3: felt depression before, but it weighs on you heavy.
11:46
Speaker 2: It's like a heavy part of your heart.
11:48
Speaker 3: And I remember my wife being pregnant at the time,
11:51
Speaker 3: I honestly was just thinking in my mind like, hey.
11:54
Speaker 2: Like maybe it is better for me not to be here, right.
11:58
Speaker 3: And so as I'm driving and I'm tipping my car
12:01
Speaker 3: on this little cliff on the way to go to
12:03
Speaker 3: the Seattle Seahawks facility.
12:06
Speaker 2: And when my car is tipping, my wife calls me.
12:09
Speaker 3: So I jerked the car back out of frustration, and
12:12
Speaker 3: I'm talking to her on the phone. Then I rush
12:14
Speaker 3: her off the phone and I try to do it again,
12:16
Speaker 3: and then my mother in law calls me. And by
12:18
Speaker 3: the time I'm done talking to my mother in law,
12:20
Speaker 3: I'm at the bottom of the hill, right. And so
12:22
Speaker 3: that's when I realized like I had an issue. I
12:25
Speaker 3: had a problem, and I had took it way too far.
12:27
Speaker 3: And God gave me two lifelines, which was my wife
12:31
Speaker 3: and my mother in law at the time, and that
12:33
Speaker 3: was when I said I needed help. And so that
12:37
Speaker 3: was my tipping point. And the reason that I got
12:40
Speaker 3: help was because God gave me two chances. And I
12:44
Speaker 3: want to step in and be a bridge for guys,
12:46
Speaker 3: to give them that opportunity and that chance the same
12:49
Speaker 3: way God did for me. I want to help guys
12:51
Speaker 3: the same way.
12:52
Speaker 1: Do you feel we're progressing to the point where it's
12:55
Speaker 1: not viewed as a quote unquote negative stigma.
13:00
Speaker 3: I think we're getting there. I think there's still stigma though,
13:04
Speaker 3: just because of the culture of football in general, but
13:08
Speaker 3: I also think the culture of just work environment, things
13:12
Speaker 3: of that nature. I just think that, you know, people
13:15
Speaker 3: become deaf ear to it sometimes, and we kind of
13:18
Speaker 3: have to reverse that. We have to change, excuse me,
13:22
Speaker 3: what vulnerability really is and what it really means to
13:25
Speaker 3: be vulnerable. We have to redefine that. So I do
13:30
Speaker 3: think we're moving in the right direction. But I also
13:33
Speaker 3: think that the NFL itself sometimes could be a very
13:37
Speaker 3: reactionary type of league. So things happen and it's like, oh, like,
13:42
Speaker 3: let's go talk about these things. Let's but we don't
13:44
Speaker 3: need to let this die down. We need to look
13:47
Speaker 3: at this and take note of this and understand that, hey,
13:51
Speaker 3: this is not a normal thing that happens. Right, Guys,
13:57
Speaker 3: weren't committing suicide a lot before. Why is happening now?
14:01
Speaker 3: So we need to come together and create solutions. Even
14:04
Speaker 3: if it's like making it mandatory for somebody to go
14:09
Speaker 3: to therapy, right, I think we make it mandatory for
14:12
Speaker 3: us to work out in a treatment facility. We have
14:15
Speaker 3: to work out twice a week for our teams, our
14:19
Speaker 3: clubs right during the season. Can we if it is
14:23
Speaker 3: something that we can do, can we make it this
14:26
Speaker 3: thing mandatory for you to go into a therapy room
14:29
Speaker 3: once a week, whether it's with the therapist who works
14:32
Speaker 3: at the facility, or is it if we're somebody who's
14:35
Speaker 3: contracted out.
14:36
Speaker 2: We need to do something, and we need to do something. Now,
14:39
Speaker 2: That's how I feel.
14:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure you're aware that even in the sports room,
14:43
Speaker 1: Lane Johnson, it has been a big proponent of mental
14:47
Speaker 1: health awareness. Did you ever have a chance to confide
14:50
Speaker 1: in him at all and let him know maybe what
14:52
Speaker 1: was going through your mind at the time.
14:55
Speaker 3: So I never really talk to Lane, but I him
15:00
Speaker 3: Lane and Brandon Brooks came out and talked about their
15:05
Speaker 3: stories and what happened. I commended them for that. Usually
15:08
Speaker 3: I would talk to Brandon like people that was on
15:11
Speaker 3: a defense. But I admire their type of work and
15:15
Speaker 3: their voices especially really, you know, their voices are the
15:21
Speaker 3: ones that need to be heard because they're still playing,
15:23
Speaker 3: you know, and I think their voices would go a
15:26
Speaker 3: long way as well.
15:28
Speaker 1: If you had to go back in time, Marcus and
15:31
Speaker 1: do maybe something different to put yourself in a better
15:34
Speaker 1: frame of mind to prepare yourself for these things. What
15:38
Speaker 1: would you have done if you had to have a
15:39
Speaker 1: conversation with yourself back in let's say twenty fourteen.
15:43
Speaker 2: Man, I would have built a team around me.
15:46
Speaker 3: You know how we you know, we have a barber, shot,
15:49
Speaker 3: we have a gym that we go to, right, everybody
15:52
Speaker 3: has a gym.
15:53
Speaker 2: You know, you got your favorite church, right.
15:56
Speaker 3: I would build, you know, a therapeutic team, maybe life coach,
16:00
Speaker 3: maybe a therapist, maybe a mentor.
16:03
Speaker 2: I would try to create these people around.
16:05
Speaker 3: Me to help me stay sorry in the right track,
16:10
Speaker 3: because I felt like that's what I needed and I
16:13
Speaker 3: needed it more times than not. And so a lot
16:16
Speaker 3: of times when you sit by yourself and you become isolated,
16:21
Speaker 3: that's a bad place to be. So you want to
16:24
Speaker 3: have those people in your corner that you can lean on,
16:26
Speaker 3: that you can go to without the shadow of a
16:28
Speaker 3: doubt when you're going through something.
16:30
Speaker 2: So that's what I would have did.
16:32
Speaker 1: Just two more questions. Have you seen a lot of
16:35
Speaker 1: traction in terms of people reaching out to you in
16:38
Speaker 1: light of the situation that transpired out of Dallas.
16:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I talked to Fox Philly twenty nine yesterday.
16:47
Speaker 3: I was on air with them having a conversation. I'm
16:51
Speaker 3: gonna be talking to Fox DC on Monday. And everybody
16:55
Speaker 3: has been, you know, just calling me and just they
16:58
Speaker 3: call and checking on me, asking me, am I okay
17:01
Speaker 3: because they know the work that I do and they
17:03
Speaker 3: know that I've talked to fourteen to fifteen guys per
17:06
Speaker 3: week when it comes to former guys in NFL, and
17:10
Speaker 3: we have those conversations about like how they feel and
17:15
Speaker 3: you know, what they're seeing and how we can get
17:17
Speaker 3: them better. So I know that that was something that
17:19
Speaker 3: really put a damper on their day. And the costs
17:22
Speaker 3: are still coming right, So I'm ready for it. But
17:26
Speaker 3: at the same time, like I think we should really
17:30
Speaker 3: rally together and you know, try to do something together.
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Speaker 1: of Them and give you the opportunity to explain, you know,
19:10
Speaker 1: the foundation and everything that you're building. I love what
19:13
Speaker 1: you're building, and I'd like to give you that opportunity
19:16
Speaker 1: to kind of expand on it.
19:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, So the Circle of Them incorporated is.
19:23
Speaker 3: Our mission is to unmaster feelings that cause anxiety and depressions.
19:27
Speaker 3: So really just understanding the emotional side of it as
19:32
Speaker 3: a football player, as a human being, as an adult,
19:37
Speaker 3: and what we do we teach young athletes, collegiate athletes,
19:43
Speaker 3: and pro athletes basic knowledge of how to articulate their
19:48
Speaker 3: emotions in a way that they can articulate that to
19:51
Speaker 3: someone who can get them help.
19:53
Speaker 2: So we stand in the gap for a lot of
19:56
Speaker 2: companies to companies.
19:58
Speaker 3: That are in one is in Colorado and the other
20:01
Speaker 3: one is in California. We partner with them to help
20:05
Speaker 3: guys get in the treatment, especially athletes.
20:09
Speaker 2: Or pro athletes. So that's the work that we're doing.
20:12
Speaker 3: And I sit as a life coach with both companies
20:17
Speaker 3: and I meet with these guys to give them a
20:20
Speaker 3: safe place to talk, right, And we kind of have
20:24
Speaker 3: that locker room feel again, and I think that's what
20:27
Speaker 3: guys are missing. So we're on the low level, which
20:31
Speaker 3: is in Maryland. We partner with the state of Maryland
20:34
Speaker 3: to do a lot of that funding. I mean a
20:36
Speaker 3: lot of that, you know, a lot of the administration,
20:41
Speaker 3: the stuff that we do with the kids, but then
20:43
Speaker 3: also we do the stuff with the NFL as well.
20:48
Speaker 1: That's great, man. And we should also mention that there's
20:50
Speaker 1: a twenty four to seven hotline. I believe it's nine
20:52
Speaker 1: to eighty eight, is that correct?
20:54
Speaker 3: Yes, please please, if you are feeling suicidal, please down
20:59
Speaker 3: nine eight eight and somebody will answer the phone. They
21:02
Speaker 3: have twenty four to seven access and they will get
21:06
Speaker 3: you the help that you need.
21:08
Speaker 2: And that's nine eight eight.
21:11
Speaker 1: Marcus. I really appreciate it. You've had a profound impact
21:13
Speaker 1: on not only how I sort of take on some
21:16
Speaker 1: of these things, how I approach it, how I process things.
21:19
Speaker 1: And it's been great watching you work from Afar. I
21:23
Speaker 1: appreciate you making some time, no problem.
21:27
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me in man.
21:30
Speaker 3: If I could say one thing, the more you speak,
21:33
Speaker 3: the more you free yourself.
21:35
Speaker 1: Great words right there. Well, I thank you for joining
21:39
Speaker 1: me on the special edition of The Checko Daily. I'm
21:41
Speaker 1: Andrew Decheco and I will catch you on the next one.