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Slow Down And Ask What Is Missing | Detectives Chair · Murders to Music: Crime Scene to Music Scene (Streamline Events and Entertainment)

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a detective's chair episode.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is another brief episode, 10 minutes or less, where I start off talking about something law enforcement related and then really get to the crux of the lessons learned during that conversation.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: And as I sat down with hundreds and hundreds of suspects throughout the years.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Witnesses, victims, you name it, I've sat down and spoken to them.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And this could be from a petty theft to a homicide or a mass killing.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: And in those conversations, I find one thing is true.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: The first story that you hear is rarely the whole story.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now, that doesn't even have to wait till the interview room to be true and effective.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Let's pretend we get the barking dog call.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that barking dog call is a dog that won't stop barking in a neighborhood.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: We respond to that call only to find that it's more than just a barking dog.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: The house has been broken into, there's people tied up and zip tied inside, and this is something that you weren't expecting.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't until we actually slowed down, responded, took the entire scene in, noticed the front door kicked in, then we recognized truly what we were looking at.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: In an interview room, when I'm talking to a suspect or a witness or a victim, oftentimes they will tell the story as they have either intentionally or unintentionally rehearsed in their heads.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: They think they know what we want to hear.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: They think they know the story they're going to tell to get them out of trouble.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: They think they know the bullet points that need to be relayed in order to convey the message they're trying to convey.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's during these times in the interview room that you have to listen to what is not being said.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes, if it sounds too good to be true, it is.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes, if it sounds like, Hannah might get in the full story here, you're probably not.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you're like, man, that just seems absurd, I can't believe somebody would do that.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: There's probably another side to the story.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you take those stories that you hear at face value from the first moment and react upon them, oftentimes your response to that first story will be misaligned, incongruent with what really occurred or what really needs to happen.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's oftentimes an emotional reaction if you respond to that first story.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: I found in my time interviewing people, and just in life, and I'm going to bring this back around to life in a moment, but just interviewing people, we have to slow down, ask clarifying questions, and really explore the what's not being said.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: In everybody's story, if you listen, you'll find they drove to the store, they got out of their car, they went inside, and the next thing you know, they saw a shooting in the parking lot as they're putting their groceries in.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's cool, but what happened inside the store?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about that.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they saw something, they heard something, they discovered something, they made a they witnessed something inside that store that can help put some context to what occurred outside.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's oftentimes in the story the phrase, and the next thing I knew, dot dot dot, well, the next thing I knew is a cover-up phrase where they are skipping over things that they may not want to bring to the surface and enlighten you with.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the things where I go, well, well, well, what are we leaving out here?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the parts of the story that we want to explore.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: With our children, oftentimes, my kids, and I am guilty of this, my daughter will come to me and say, Mom did this or mom did that, or my kids will come to me and say, my brother did this.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of me slowing down, I emotionally react.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And nine times out of ten, my reaction is unwarranted, unjustified because I don't have the full story.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: While I found it was easy for me to get a story from the interview room, I find it hard to slow down and do that in my own life.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it's because I'm more emotionally attached, I don't know.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I find it hard to slow down in my own world and process what's happening without emotionally responding.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: I guess what I'm saying in all this is the first story is rarely the whole story.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Whether I'm in the field on a traffic stop, whether I'm in an interview room with a suspect, witness, victim, or whether I'm simply at home or receiving a phone call from my family.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: The takeaway for this is don't rush to judgment.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: There is likely more than what meets the eye.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if you do find yourself being emotionally charged, cooler heads will prevail.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Slow down, take a breath, and then assess what you have in front of you.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: I know for myself, specifically a conversation with my daughter where I rushed to judgment and I jumped all over her and it was completely unwarranted, and I had to call and apologize.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: But even the apology doesn't take away the hurt and pain that I caused her.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I rushed to judgment.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: I want to take a little bit of my own life lesson here.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Slow down, process, analyze, question.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Does this really make sense?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: If not, ask enough questions until it does.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then give it the response that it's warranted.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: That is a Detective's chair episode.