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Jabberwock This Way | Alice in Wonderland Adventures Retold | Stories for Kids · Dorktales Storytime | Stories for Kids Who Love Big Adventures

• 0:02
  Jonathan: Hello, Dork Squad.
• 0:03
  Jonathan: I'm Jonathan Cormur, and you're listening to Dork Tales the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups.
• 0:14
  Theme Song: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure, and glory, new friends and old ones too.
• 0:20
  Theme Song: It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tale, so let us regale you.
• 0:39
  Jonathan: Alice?
• 0:40
  Redge: Oh, what a lovely surprise!
• 0:43
  Alice: I'm sorry to say the reason I'm here is not particularly lovely, Redge.
• 0:47
  Redge: Oh my.
• 0:49
  Jonathan: What's wrong?
• 0:50
  Alice: Oh, Jonathan, sometimes it feels like everything.
• 0:54
  Redge: Oh, well, I get you there.
• 0:56
  Jonathan: Oh, let's start from the beginning, Alice.
• 0:58
  Jonathan: Would you be able to share a bit more as to why you're upset?
• 1:03
  Alice: I suppose so.
• 1:04
  Redge: Righto! Trust me, you're in good hands with Jonathan as your guide.
• 1:09
  Alice: Okay.
• 1:09
  Alice: Well, earlier today I went back to Wonderland.
• 1:13
  Alice: Or Slumberland as we like to call it, Redge.
• 1:17
  Redge: Oh! Did you see the Queen of Hearts?
• 1:20
  Jonathan: Yeah, how's she doing?
• 1:21
  Jonathan: Still sending her subjects, uh, off to their beds?
• 1:27
  Alice: Oh, that's just the problem, Jonathan! They're staying in their beds!
• 1:32
  Redge: No playing croquet, or even painting white flowers red?
• 1:37
  Alice: None! The Queen told me, ever since my last visit, that there's been a monster on the loose in Wonderland called the Jabberwock!
• 1:49
  Redge: The Jabberwock?
• 1:49
  Redge: Sounds silly.
• 1:53
  Alice: I thought so too.
• 1:54
  Alice: At first.
• 1:57
  Redge: At first?
• 1:58
  Alice: It turns out that they're a really big deal.
• 2:01
  Alice: I didn't mean to cause it, though.
• 2:04
  Jonathan: Wait, what do you mean cause it?
• 2:05
  Jonathan: What did you do?
• 2:07
  Redge: Yes, it sounds like you brought the beast to Wonderland
• 2:10
  Alice: I did!
• 2:12
  Redge: Gasp!
• 2:13
  Jonathan: No way!
• 2:15
  Alice: Way!
• 2:16
  Jonathan: I'm sorry, Alice.
• 2:17
  Jonathan: I'm having a difficult time piecing this story together.
• 2:21
  Jonathan: Would you mind starting at the beginning?
• 2:24
  Alice: Okay.
• 2:24
  Alice: So I went down the rabbit hole, like usual, met up with the of Hearts, played a little croquet, then went to the chess to sit with the White Queen and King.
• 2:35
  Alice: They had this amazing spread.
• 2:38
  Redge: Love a good spread.
• 2:40
  Alice: Same.
• 2:40
  Alice: There was so much fun and frivolity, and one conversation led another, and I got a little carried away.
• 2:49
  Jonathan: Well, that sounds fun.
• 2:51
  Alice: I thought it was.
• 2:52
  Alice: I was wandering the halls of the chess kingdom having a grand old time.
• 2:56
  Alice: And all I did was, you know, read this nonsense poem backwards in a mirror.
• 3:04
  Redge: Oh dear, that's never good.
• 3:06
  Alice: I accidentally summoned the Jabberwock! And now they're spreading havoc across the kingdom! I'm the worst.
• 3:15
  Jonathan: But Alice, you said it yourself.
• 3:16
  Jonathan: This was an accident.
• 3:19
  Alice: I'm so foolish.
• 3:20
  Alice: I shouldn't talk anymore.
• 3:22
  Alice: I just embarrassed myself.
• 3:24
  Alice: Or worse, summon vicious demons into Wonderland! And now the Wonderland residents won't even leave their They're all so scared, and it's all my fault!
• 3:42
  Jonathan: Oh, Alice.
• 3:42
  Jonathan: What can we do?
• 3:46
  Redge: Yes, how can we help, friend?
• 3:49
  Alice: Well, I suppose we should find the Vorpal Blade.
• 3:53
  Redge: The Vorpal what?
• 3:56
  Alice: Well, the king and queen said we need the power of a Vorpal Blade.
• 4:00
  Alice: Whatever that means.
• 4:03
  Jonathan: Maybe it can cut a rift between dimensions and send the home.
• 4:07
  Alice: Or maybe it can cut my words off so I don't embarrass myself or ruin anyone's day anymore.
• 4:14
  Redge: Oh come now, Alice.
• 4:15
  Redge: Let's head back to Wonderland and see what we can find.
• 4:19
  Jonathan: Yes, we're off.
• 4:21
  Redge: Let's not be late for this very important date.
• 4:24
  Redge: Jonathan, welcome to Wonderland.
• 4:29
  Jonathan: Wow! It's just as magnificent as you both described.
• 4:34
  Alice: Notice anything different?
• 4:36
  Redge: Hmm, let's see.
• 4:37
  Redge: The large flowers are all in order.
• 4:40
  Redge: Oh, and that delightful looking tea party over there.
• 4:44
  Alice: But did you notice there's nobody among the flowers or drinking the tea?
• 4:49
  Jonathan: Oh yes.
• 4:49
  Jonathan: I thought there was a suspicious silence.
• 4:53
  Alice: This is just what happens when you let Alice have fun.
• 4:57
  Cheshire Cat: Oh come now.
• 4:58
  Cheshire Cat: Don't be so hard on yourself, Alice.
• 5:01
  Cheshire Cat: You're perfect.
• 5:05
  Redge: Oh my!
• 5:07
  Jonathan: Who are you?
• 5:08
  Alice: Cheshire Cat! You've returned!
• 5:11
  Cheshire Cat: I didn't go anywhere.
• 5:12
  Cheshire Cat: Just found a sunny spot and took a little uh cat nap.
• 5:20
  Alice: Guys, this is my friend, the Cheshire Cat Cat! He's helped me in Wonderland before.
• 5:26
  Jonathan: Oh pleased to meet you.
• 5:27
  Jonathan: I wish I could say the same, but Wonderland is particularly right now.
• 5:36
  Alice: Oh, Cheshire Cat! Do you know where the Vorpal Blade is?
• 5:41
  Redge: And uh what it does?
• 5:43
  Cheshire Cat: Hmm.
• 5:43
  Cheshire Cat: I think I saw it this way.
• 5:48
  Redge: All right then.
• 5:51
  Cheshire Cat: or maybe I saw it that way.
• 5:54
  Alice: Huh?
• 5:55
  Redge: Alright, enough nonsense.
• 5:56
  Redge: There's a monster on the loose cat.
• 6:00
  Cheshire Cat: Oops.
• 6:00
  Cheshire Cat: Sorry.
• 6:01
  Cheshire Cat: I seem to have forgotten.
• 6:05
  Redge: Oh, you're not contrite?
• 6:08
  Cheshire Cat: Perhaps I'm not.
• 6:09
  Cheshire Cat: Or perhaps I am.
• 6:12
  Alice: This is just maddening.
• 6:15
  Cheshire Cat: Everyone's a little mad here.
• 6:20
  Jonathan: Well, we haven't gotten anywhere.
• 6:23
  Cheshire Cat: Or have we gotten everywhere?
• 6:27
  Redge: Oh, you silly old cat!
• 6:31
  Alice: That's right! You are a cat.
• 6:35
  Redge: What?
• 6:36
  Jonathan: Yeah, why are you smiling?
• 6:39
  Alice: Well, when my kitty gets stubborn, I know exactly what to do get her to perk up.
• 6:45
  Cheshire Cat: I can assure you that what works on a regular cat won't on the Cheshire Cat.
• 6:53
  Alice: Well, how about when I scratch you behind your ear?
• 6:57
  Alice: Like this.
• 6:59
  Cheshire Cat: I told you I oh, oh dear, that's good.
• 7:05
  Cheshire Cat: Oh yes.
• 7:05
  Cheshire Cat: Oh, that sounds really good.
• 7:07
  Cheshire Cat: Right, right.
• 7:08
  Cheshire Cat: Oh yes.
• 7:09
  Cheshire Cat: Oh, that's very good.
• 7:10
  Cheshire Cat: Yes.
• 7:11
  Cheshire Cat: All right, all right, all right.
• 7:15
  Cheshire Cat: I'll tell you where the blade is.
• 7:19
  Alice: See?
• 7:20
  Jonathan: That's genius, Alice!
• 7:22
  Alice: No confusing riddles required.
• 7:25
  Redge: Way to go, mate!
• 7:27
  Alice: Now, tell us where the Vorpal blade is.
• 7:30
  Cheshire Cat: Only for more scritches behind my ears, dears?
• 7:36
  Jonathan: I officially don't trust the Cheshire Cat.
• 7:39
  Redge: Who's to say this fickle feline won't finagle his way out of again?
• 7:44
  Alice: Hmm.
• 7:44
  Alice: Okay.
• 7:45
  Alice: Cheshire Cat Cat, I'll make you a deal.
• 7:48
  Alice: I'll scratch behind one ear now and save the other ear for after you lead us to the Vorpal Blade.
• 7:56
  Cheshire Cat: Hmm.
• 7:56
  Cheshire Cat: You have a deal.
• 8:02
  Redge: Great job, Alice!
• 8:03
  Jonathan: Yes, very quick thinking.
• 8:05
  Alice: Doesn't really mean anything if I'm just undoing the problem I in the first place.
• 8:11
  Redge: Oh, don't you worry.
• 8:12
  Redge: We're here to help.
• 8:14
  Cheshire Cat: Are we going to stand around sulking, or are you on my
• 8:19
  Jonathan: Uh yes, we'll follow you there, Cheshire Cat.
• 8:22
  Redge: Come on, Alice!
• 8:25
  Cheshire Cat: Well, here we are.
• 8:27
  Cheshire Cat: Payment, please.
• 8:31
  Redge: But it's just a pile of rocks.
• 8:34
  Jonathan: Yeah, where's the blade?
• 8:35
  Jonathan: What gives?
• 8:37
  Alice: Show us the blade, Cheshire Cat!
• 8:40
  Cheshire Cat: It's under that boulder right there.
• 8:44
  Alice: Jonathan, can you move the boulder?
• 8:45
  Alice: Here are your scratches, kitty.
• 8:55
  Cheshire Cat: Perfect.
• 8:55
  Cheshire Cat: Goodbye.
• 9:00
  Redge: Did did that cat just disappear?
• 9:03
  Alice: That's the Cheshire Cat for you.
• 9:05
  Jonathan: Do you think we might alert the Jabberwock to our
• 9:08
  Alice: Ah!
• 9:09
  Jonathan: What is it, Alice?
• 9:10
  Jonathan: The Jabberwock?
• 9:12
  Alice: The blade! It's all rusty and bent! Oh, how are we supposed to use it now?
• 9:18
  Redge: She's right.
• 9:19
  Redge: That thing won't cut butter.
• 9:22
  Jonathan: Redge?
• 9:22
  Redge: What?
• 9:22
  Redge: I'm being a realist.
• 9:25
  Jonathan: Sometimes it's more important, you know, to be kind to
• 9:29
  Redge: I am kind.
• 9:31
  Jonathan: Well, yes, I know you're kind, but you know, you could just the whole thing a little bit tactically.
• 9:36
  Redge: I am perfectly tactful.
• 9:37
  Jonathan: Oh, really?
• 9:38
  Redge: Yes, really.
• 9:39
  Redge: And furthermore, I'm the most tactical person here.
• 9:43
  Jonathan: Tactful, not tactical.
• 9:45
  Redge: Oh, you know what I mean.
• 9:47
  Both: What?
• 9:48
  Redge: Oh no! It's the Jabberwock!
• 9:54
  Jabberwock: I am the Jabberwock.
• 9:55
  Jabberwock: Come to spread mischief across the land.
• 10:02
  Jabberwock: Who dare stand in my presence?
• 10:08
  Jonathan: Quick, quick, Alice.
• 10:09
  Jonathan: Use the blade.
• 10:11
  Alice: And do what?
• 10:12
  Redge: Well, I don't know.
• 10:13
  Redge: Just swing it around wildly and try to scare them away.
• 10:18
  Alice: Huh?
• 10:18
  Alice: It's not working! Who would be scared of this rusty blade?
• 10:23
  Alice: Oh now I've really messed up.
• 10:25
  Alice: Another one in the books of Alice's mistakes!
• 10:29
  Jonathan: Oh, don't say that.
• 10:30
  Redge: Yes, don't spin such a story.
• 10:33
  Redge: We love you, Alice.
• 10:38
  Jabberwock: Three new little playthings.
• 10:40
  Jabberwock: What are you going to do with that rusty blade?
• 10:46
  Jabberwock: Poke me to death with laughter.
• 10:54
  Alice: Quick, let's hide behind this rock!
• 10:56
  Jonathan: Phew! This very conveniently placed rock here will buy us some Now, Alice, listen.
• 11:02
  Jonathan: We wouldn't even know how to get around Wonderland if it for you.
• 11:08
  Redge: Yes, you're very smart and capable.
• 11:11
  Redge: You knew to come get us when you needed help.
• 11:14
  Redge: And you convinced the Cheshire Cat cat to help us.
• 11:17
  Redge: And as everyone knows, only a very clever person can convince a cat to do something it doesn't want to do.
• 11:25
  Alice: Well, I suppose you're right.
• 11:27
  Alice: I did think to come get you.
• 11:29
  Alice: And I suppose I did lead the charge to find this rusty vorple
• 11:35
  Jonathan: Which we successfully found.
• 11:36
  Redge: And even when things aren't going your way, you know you always have good friends like Jonathan and me to support you.
• 11:44
  Alice: Huh.
• 11:44
  Alice: Yeah.
• 11:45
  Alice: I guess that makes sense.
• 11:48
  Redge: And if you think about it, you are also the reason for good that happened today, too.
• 11:54
  Jonathan: You led us through all of our challenges.
• 11:57
  Alice: You're right.
• 11:58
  Alice: I won't let a silly Jabberwock or any past mistakes for good.
• 12:03
  Alice: I'm stronger than that.
• 12:05
  Alice: And I have my friends.
• 12:08
  Redge: Oh my, the sword is glowing!
• 12:12
  Jonathan: And humming.
• 12:14
  Redge: And Alice, you're glowing!
• 12:17
  Jonathan: And rising from the ground.
• 12:18
  Jonathan: Oh, with a Jabberwock.
• 12:21
  Alice: I'm not sure I understand what's happening, but Jabberwock! We mean you no harm! We just want people to be safe! Please leave Wonderland and go home!
• 12:37
  Jabberwock: Oh, but Alice, you summoned me here, and now I'm stuck.
• 12:43
  Jabberwock: I am lost.
• 12:45
  Jabberwock: Far from home, and ready to spread mischief across
• 12:55
  Alice: Then let me lead you home.
• 12:57
  Alice: Jabberwock, go home.
• 13:07
  Jabberwock: Very well.
• 13:08
  Jabberwock: I shall do as you command.
• 13:11
  Jabberwock: But one day I shall return to spread chaos across the And I wait where you would stop nothing upon a full.
• 13:28
  Redge: You did it, Alice!
• 13:30
  Jonathan: You opened a portal to a different dimension, just by being bold, intelligent self.
• 13:36
  Alice: You're right! I can't believe I doubted myself!
• 13:40
  Redge: Hmm, it happens.
• 13:42
  Jonathan: The best thing to do when any fear or shame comes into your and won't go away is recognize the thought, thank the for being there and keeping you alert or safe, but also if I let this thought guide what I do, will it create the or outcome that I want?
• 14:01
  Redge: It's pretty difficult to remember in the moment, but Jonathan helped me recognize and redirect my own negative thoughts
• 14:09
  Jonathan: It just takes practice.
• 14:11
  Redge: You were the power of the Vorple Blade all along.
• 14:15
  Alice: Thanks, friends.
• 14:16
  Alice: But now that the Jabberwock is gone, where shall we go in
• 14:22
  Cheshire Cat: If you don't know where you're going, any road in will get you there.
• 14:30
  Alice: Wait, what did you say, Redge?
• 14:32
  Redge: That wasn't me.
• 14:33
  Redge: Jonathan?
• 14:35
  Jonathan: Not me.
• 14:37
  Cheshire Cat: Perhaps it was me.
• 14:38
  Cheshire Cat: Is it future or is it past?
• 14:42
  Cheshire Cat: The magician longs to see.
• 14:45
  Cheshire Cat: Travelers from between two worlds.
• 14:48
  Cheshire Cat: Jabber walk with me.
• 14:53
  Jonathan: What was that?
• 14:57
  Redge: And curiouser.
• 15:03
  Jonathan: This has been a Jon in character production.
• 15:05
  Jonathan: Today's story was written by Amy Thompson and edited by Molly Murphy.
• 15:09
  Jonathan: Special thanks to Sabrina Glow from the award-winning Glow Sister Voice Acting team who performed Alice.
• 15:16
  Jonathan: All other characters were performed by Jonathan Cormur.
• 15:19
  Jonathan: Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Studio Recordings.
• 15:24
  Jonathan: Reach out to us on Instagram or email us at at gmail.com.
• 15:29
  Jonathan: Find links in the show notes or go to Now, go be the hero of your own story, and we'll see you once upon a time.