Latest / Feedbag with Nat Lauzon / Episode 14: Cottage Cheese Ice Cream, Old Commercials & High Fives
Transcript
- Nat Lauzon: Well, hello and welcome to Feedbag. I'm Nat and I'm here with Rupert. Hi everyone. trying out a new configuration. What do you think? ⁓ the microphone is static, it feels like I have to be proper. Like I'm interviewing a proper person. ⁓ I'm not. I'm really not. You are by no means proper. But I think this way will be good when there are people who are not used to handling mics and they don't have to touch. Yeah. ⁓ And it's good for this Yeah. And we can do shots at the same time. Yes. Okay. Rupert came over today and brought me a present. Oh yeah. Yeah. You said I have a present for you. I have a surprise for you. Oh, I have a surprise. A surprise. Well, it was a food present that you made. fig based ice cream using cottage cheese. So it's not even ice cream at all, but they call it ice cream. Right. So, ⁓ like, you know that I'm not a big fan of cottage cheese. If you, if people look at these videos on YouTube, you will actually see there is a video of me. did a song about my hate for cottage cheese. So, but I still try to like eat it and I try to hide it and stuff, but I don't love it. And Rupert found all these amazing recipes. Yeah. But this one, the recipe is was like half a tub of cottage cheese. And I threw in honey. I used figs because I didn't have dates. It's supposed to be dates. So I put figs ⁓ and honey and salt, a little bit of salt and some love. Was that it? ⁓ vanilla extract. ⁓ vanilla extract. Yeah. And then you froze it for how long? I didn't freeze it. It just goes in the fridge. Goes in the fridge for like two hours and then it's ready to eat. And it's a consistency of soft ice cream. It is surprisingly good and not full of crap. No chemical crap. Just like natural ingredients. And you cannot taste the cottage cheeseness. You really can't. And this is like the third time I've made cottage cheese. Yeah, you made a ton of this ice cream. I chocolate peanut butter cottage cheese ice cream and that was delicious. I don't think you tried that No. And I another one which was with the walnuts and just chocolate. So good. And you get all that protein and and the cottage cheese hides. It doesn't taste like cottage cheese at all. At all. I was so impressed. the fig cottage cheese ice cream that you made like an awesome spread that you would put on toast. And I'm gonna eat it on my toast tomorrow. I'm gonna try it tomorrow too. ⁓ So thanks for that. You're welcome. That was a ⁓ nice thing for you to do. You're welcome. ⁓ so last week, me and my friend, Natasha Hall, shout out Natasha Hall, a local Montreal media, wonderful, beautiful person and my sister from Another Mister. We have seen David Sedaris like five times, Natasha and I, and we love him. David Sedaris, the author. He's so funny. He's amazing. He's really cool to see live. house was packed. Crazy. Like it was full. ⁓ really good to know because he's not like famous in other ways. Like I hadn't of him. I knew his sister, Amy. ⁓ from Strangers with Candy, which is a little show. Stephen Colbert was on that too. great show on Comedy Central back in the day. And she was just awful. And I loved her. And that's her brother. And I hadn't heard of David Sedaris before I met you. he's only known by his books, I guess. Right. He's only known by his books. That's the ⁓ he writes short stories about his which are hilarious. And then he'll read you like. essays from his books and it's just his delivery and they're so funny and the audience loves it and he's just so unassuming and wonderful and pleasant to listen to just really cool and he tells these great anecdotes and he reads blurbs from his diary because he's kept a diary for like 50 years and yeah but I was super happy to see that so many people would come out and he always gets big crowds but like for an author. figure people don't read care about anymore. But we also went to see the Eat, Pray, Love woman. I forget her name. ⁓ Elizabeth Gilbert. Yes. Yeah. We went to see her. I went to go see Bruce Dickinson, who's known more for his Iron Maiden singing. Right. But that guy. ⁓ I don't know if anybody knows this about him. My best friend in the world just can't stand him. I don't know why, but he said why. But the guy is a world class fencer, not my best friend. Bruce Dickinson, the singer of Iron Maiden. He's a he's a famous heavy metal singer. He's a world class fencer. He also is a brewmaster, has his own line of beer. He has written many books, including an autobiography, which I read, which is really good. And I went to go see him just talk about his book at M Telus theater or whatever. It was packed too. Isn't he a pilot? He's also a pilot. Yeah, that's the biggest thing. Like a commercial pilot when there was those. This is I don't know how long ago, but there are people stranded in Cyprus, I think it was. And they were stuck there. And England was sending planes over. He was one of the people ferrying people off of Cyprus. That's so crazy. Yeah, they even bought I think it's a seven. I don't know if it's a 747, but they have a huge plane Iron Maiden. And when they go on tour, he flies the plane. Could you imagine if he was giving the announcements, With his voice. Right, right. Like, and just saying, we're flying at 30,000 feet and then starts singing Iron Maiden. It'd be awesome. Yeah, that's really cool. I just think it's great that so many people show up for an art form that you would think many might have considered outdated or a passe or whatever. But he told a joke, a one-liner. that had us in stitches. And this was the joke that David Sedaris told the other night, which was a man wakes up from surgery and says, doctor, I can't feel my legs. And the doctor says, I know it's because I just amputated your arms. pretty funny. It is funny. The audience was roaring. Yeah, that's really good. our tickets said the show started at eight o'clock, but it actually started at seven. And we thought we were giving ourselves a shitload of time to get there. it was like, we still have tons of time before the show starts to catch up on our lives. ⁓ So we get there and we're like, where is everybody? And then the usher goes, you know, the show started at seven and it was like seven 20 or something when we showed up and it was like, ⁓ my God. First of all, we love David Sedaris and now we're walking in and, and, and we're walking in like those late people. Yeah. Everybody hates those late people. and it felt ⁓ awful. ⁓ Rupert because the boyfriend on earth. I was trying to catch you make a face. Because usually when I do that, I look when I'm editing. I am the best boyfriend. Because when I'm editing this later and every anytime I give you a compliment compliment when I'm when I'm doing the podcast and I'm editing it later, you always go. I do. Yeah, you make a face at how great you are always. So wait, practice it now. I'm going to I'm going to do it again and make a non derogatory face about yourself. ⁓ OK. You like act like. Like accept the compliment gracefully? it, yeah. Okay. So Rupert, because he's the best boyfriend in the world. ⁓ that's not okay. Okay, try again. So Rupert, because he's the best boyfriend in the world. ⁓ wow. ⁓ But you you say I winked? I saw the wink. ⁓ cool. Yeah, it was really good. Anyway. He bought me these tickets to see David Sedaris. ⁓ And they were amazing tickets in like the third row or something ridiculous in the middle. Second, I believe. Second row? I think so. Well, I don't know because so he bought, okay, second row tickets in the middle to see my favorite author. Plus he bought parking for us. We were like, ⁓ I am the best boyfriend in the Yes. Thank you. What a weak high five. Yeah, but I didn't want to. Bonk the mic. But first of all, it's like you just pressed. OK, you had to do a redo. So I'll do a high five redo. Ready? But do you want to know the trick? This is a trick my daughter taught me years ago when she was playing soccer. There's a trick to never missing a high five with your friends. What's the trick? You look at the other person's elbow as you do it. So as I'm doing this, I'm supposed to look at your elbow. don't even have to look at your hand and our hands will hit. Ready? Yeah. I'm going to stare at your elbow. Ready? High five. But you did, what was this? I was scared that you were coming in hot. Like I felt like you were coming high five is hot. It's not like a... But that was super hot, too hard. I have thin wrists. Oh, come on. Okay. Again. You got a little oomph to you. I'll oomph it You're a beast. You ready? Yeah. Are you really nervous? I'm ready to... I'm like... Why are you so nervous about I don't know. I'm just You didn't play enough sports as a kid. I'm trying to stay locked on your elbow, dude. Let's go. Okay, just look at it. That's all you gotta do. And a little oomph. Okay. Okay, you ready? Yeah. Go. High five. Yeah. Was it better? Yes. Last time you want to know what you did? It was kind of like I've now realized people everybody talks about like a wimpy handshake and how that will really turn you off. high five was a wet fish. ⁓ I'm to do it to you how you high five me. Okay. First of all, it wasn't even that high. It was a medium and it wasn't five. You only pressed me with like three fingers maximum and it was a press, not a slap. I'm going to do it. You ready? High five, Nat. Eww. Right? Thank you. Okay. But you know, you confuse me with all the rules and the elbow thing. So give me a little grace. Okay. Thank you. We can practice some later. that's a pretty good tip. It's a great tip. Thanks, Fiona. Okay. So we just let, where were we? David Sedaris. Oh yeah. So, I mean, this doesn't, this doesn't culminate in anything fabulous. It's just that we were late and those seats right in the middle, like we didn't want to make people get up and then. Excuse me. me. Excuse me. me. And here's. the author reading his material and obviously we're like right there. So we were right in front. So we stood at the side until he was done reading that essay and everyone clapped but then we didn't sit there because we didn't want to make people stand up so we sat at two empty seats that were near us right that no one ever showed up in. nobody so people were sitting in the second row looking at those seats going wow who bought these tickets? ⁓ Yeah. Who was the awesome boyfriend who bought these? Wow, man, that guy's girlfriend must be so lame. She sucks. She's the worst. She's a dumb friend. Anyway, David Sedaris was awesome. He's a fantastic author, you know, buy his shit. He's great. He doesn't need me to promote him. OK. Right. What next? So you just want to say that joke, think. It was all for the joke. Everything in service of the joke. This dude's been licking toes so heartily. So what heartily I heard hurtily. he's he's a hearty toe licker. Hearty. Yeah, and I don't know if it's been distracting or noisy, but ⁓ no, I don't think no. Are you done licking your toes? I mean, I think he doesn't love doing it, but he's a bit obsessed and it's not allergies. I don't want to get into it. His face. He's got a weird face right now. I wish people could see it from this angle. It's really strange. Bolt, do you want to come here? You want to come sit right here? think he's OK. what is this? Yeah, you had your eyes over I saw it. ⁓ but this is why that's not. Dog continuity problems, dog continuity issues. The dog is there, then he's not. Where's Bolt? Nobody knows. Dogcontinuityissues.com. Okay, you ready? .org. Yeah. All right. Okay. So, you know how people say that you should not bring your phone into the bathroom because it's, ⁓ like not healthy. You could get the roids ⁓ If you are having a BM, it should take you like five, 10 minutes tops not to be sitting there scrolling and doing whatever. ⁓ For some of us though, sitting on the toilet cannot only be unhealthy. It can also be financially draining. ⁓ How much money did you almost lose on the toilet today? like I was betting on the toilet. ⁓ I was betting on the toilet or I was betting while on the toilet. It sounds like you were gambling on the toilet. That's where my brain would go. the toilet's performance? Because I got it was like you lost it on the toilet. Like, oh man, I I bet $700 on that toilet. On the toilet being able to flush? To flush whatever. Anyway, never mind. It was about $600, $700 that I almost it wouldn't have been lost, but I almost spent while sitting on the toilet. Yeah. Tell the people why. bring in your phone in the toilet is so dangerous for you. I have what's called GAS. apropos for the It stands for gear acquisition syndrome. It's like it's an inside joke of musicians. Really? Yeah, you got gas, gear acquisition syndrome. Well, you have a lot of gas. I have gas for the past three years. I'll explain why roughly really quickly. I'm left handed like Nat. I don't know if you ever seen her ukulele videos, but she plays like this and So do I, which is another one of the reasons that I was so impressed with you when I first saw you was, oh, she's a lefty. That's good. Anyway, so I'm a lefty and left handed people will know this. Guitarists will know this, that in any music store, they never have lefties there. There'll be like 400 right handed guitars and maybe two shitty lefties in the corner that been there for four years. OK. And always like crappy. So if you're a lefty and you want to try a guitar out, you can't. You have to buy it, try it out and then it sucks. So I went on this quest three years ago where I'd had the same guitar for like 35 years or something. And I said, my friend Pat was like, hey, man, how come you never played anything else? Maybe you should try something else. And I was like, that's a good idea. And so in the last three years, I have bought. Are you guys ready for this? I have bought a grand total. Of 86 guitars. And I still own 29 of them. So I've sold like 50 and change think I sold like 52 or 53 guitars. has a guitar addiction. I have a guitar addiction. This is one of the reasons why it's kind of nice to not live together. Yeah, because if you saw my bedroom, it's just it looks like a music store. I've got 19 guitars on the walls in my house and 13 of those are in my bedroom. OK, back to the toilet. So I was on the bowl and so I took my phone and I start shopping for guitars. That's what I always do. What if there's a good guitar? And sure enough, there's some guy in Edmonton selling like his little collection of guitars and there were two in there that I thought were really good and I wanted to get them. So while I'm sitting there, I started negotiating the purchase of these guitars. Right. the seller was a bit nervous to ship. Yes, because they always feel like it's a scam. ⁓ Because there's a lot of scammers. a lot of scam, but the way it works is I'm paying him, then he sends me the guitar. So if anybody's going to get screwed, it's me. It's very safe. But the thing is, like, not knowing you or your history or anything about you, and he's across the country, it's like, I don't want to sell a guitar to this guy who I don't know and I'm nervous and they don't want go through the hassle of doing it. he was like, I'm not doing it. Boxing it up and bubble wrapping all that shit is also a real pain. Yeah. So yeah. So people are like, I'd rather just have somebody show up in my house and buy it I had the idea the time don't know why I'm feeding your addiction, but the next time somebody ⁓ doesn't want to ship you a guitar because they're like, don't know you man. And I'm nervous because you're always really ⁓ nice. And sometimes like scammers come out super nice. They're no, I'll do this and it's all safe it's too good to be true. Like it's too good to be true the way you present I'm their asking price because it's like... you pay exactly what they want. You want this much? I'll give you that much. And then they're like, oh, there's something that doesn't feel right. How come he's not negotiating? Whatever. Yeah. I didn't try to negotiate with this guy because the prices were already like really good. So I thought what we could do is that the next time somebody does not want to ship you a guitar because they're afraid that you're a scammer is we could create a small video message to those people here. Yes. And... You could direct them while you're talking to them to this video on the podcast that we'll create. You'll say, you know, here's a link to this video. Fast forward to this many minutes. Yeah. And you'll see me talking about how I'm not a scammer. I'm not a scammer. Is that the point? I'm not a postal code. What? A Canada Post scammer. You can ship to me. I will pay you before you ship it. And I won't complain when it arrives as long as it's in He is a safe, safe client. Five stars on Kijiji. That's right. Five stars on Facebook Marketplace. And if you had met him in person, you might do this. You might do that. Yeah, so buy a guitar for me. Don't. It's so gross. No. No. Okay. It's not my thing. Then why are you doing it? Why do you want to do it? It's so not cool. It isn't cool. Is this like hang 10 both of them together? It's hang loose. It's hang loose. Isn't it? think it looks like just a greeting. No. Like, hey man, I'm doing it now and I don't want to be, I don't want to be dissecting this cause it's not cool. Okay. Whatever. We won't be doing this anymore. What was the thing my friend's boyfriend used to say? ⁓ that made her. ⁓ made her cringe. ⁓ like catch on the flip side or something like that. It was something like a ⁓ sign off. I always yell drive safe like the guy in the war amps ads whenever my friends leave. I just go drive safe. And I would say it like that. And I don't know why I do it with my family, do it with my friends. Do you know what this is? Okay, you ready? Yeah. I am Astar, a robot. I can put my arm back on. You can't. Yes, I do. so play safe Yeah, I hated that ad. he was robot. He was a robot and he could put his arm back on. you can't. So play safe. ⁓ Yeah, that was like from childhood and everybody remembers that. remembers that commercials anymore because we don't have like people are streaming all time. kids don't know what commercials are. We know all the commercial jingles. How about this? Get your skis shined up. Grab a stick of juicy fruit. The taste is gonna move ya. Take a sniff. Oh, pull it out. The taste is gonna move ya when you pop it in your mouth. Juicy fruit. Gonna move ya. It's chews so soft, it gets right to ya. It goes right through you. Juicy fruit. The taste, the taste, the taste is gonna move ya. TM. TM. Um, yeah, see, we know all that shit. That's fun for another show. OK, this was just a little pocket of time we wanted to spend with you. you any more ideas on your pocket of time? Well, I do, but they're going to make this podcast super long and well, let's chop it up. I can. I might as put it in the can. I'm like you. That's a you ⁓ Right? You're spending too much time with me. I think I Let's put it in the can. It is. starting to adopt your behaviors. It's got to stop. Okay. Anyway, ⁓ thank for tuning in. If you the podcast, please like or subscribe or do some kind of activity. ⁓ Comment, all that stuff helps the algorithm it helps the podcast grow. Right? Yeah. But you just reminded me of a childhood memory. had a friend named Alan. ⁓ my God, I thought we were done. Sorry, I just want to throw this out there. This is what it's like to have an ADHD boyfriend. Yeah. ⁓ my God. boyfriend wants to keep talking after the mics are off. Go. Yeah. Yeah. I had a friend named Al, Alan. And when we were like little guys and we thought we'd have a band when we were like 13 or whatever, were all, we all were playing and we would say to Al, Al go rhythm, like rhythm guitar. So it's like Al go rhythm. And then we realized we heard it and we started laughing. Anyway, that was it. So every time I hear the word algorithm, I was thinking of my friend Alan, like 14 year old Alan going, playing rhythm guitar. It's funny what sticks with us, that kind of thing. So many things in my brain. There really are. It's frightening. you know what to do ⁓ subscribe, etc. See you next time on are you gonna let me get it out? Feedbag