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How to take your power back from a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we are talking about how to take your power back from a
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  narcissist if you're new here. My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back, folks.
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  Let's get it. How to take your power back from
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  a narcissistic person? Y'all.
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  From a narcissist, From a toxic person.
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  From whoever you are dealing with in your life.
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  This is the yeah, this is one of these the things that you need
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  to do in order to survive, in order to in order to thrive and
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  what not just in your life overall.
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  When you're trying to leave a narcissistic person, when you're
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  in a relation with a narcissist and you can't leave or the
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  situation, you know, when I say can't leave finances, whatever
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  it is that might be keeping you there right now, you can start
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  to take your power back. So now I believe that you cannot
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  fully heal. I can't.
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  I don't think you can fully heal an environment in an environment
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  that makes you sick, but you can move forward and start taking
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  your power back, Gal. One of the first things you need
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  to do in order to take your power back from a narcissist is
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  to start validating yourself. Get your validation from
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  yourself. Empower yourself.
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  Strengthen yourself. Love yourself.
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  That's what that's what so many people lack in these toxic
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  relationship spaces and whatnot. You you you lose the ability to
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  love yourself. Maybe you struggle with it
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  before you got into this relationship dynamic with this
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  narcissistic person, but now it's gone.
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  Now it's buried beneath. Now it's buried beneath layers
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  of insecurities and gaslighted and manipulation and self
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  esteem. Sucker and soul sucking,
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  toxicity, emotional abuse, emotional manipulation, toxic
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  abuse, narcissistic abuse, whatever.
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  What is buried beneath the layers now, now.
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  So you have to dig it up. You have to dig up the ability
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  to love yourself, the ability to relove yourself, the ability to
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  understand that you deserve more than what you're going through
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  right now. Because I do have myself Love
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  Journal that's on Amazon. If you want to check that out.
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  The Self Love Journal can help you rebuild that self love.
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  And I'm working on the self love course right now, but you can do
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  it right now, Love Go, go do something for yourself.
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  What? What do you like to do?
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  What do you like to do right now?
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  What do you what have you done for yourself in a long time?
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  For you, For yourself? Not with your friends.
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  Not with your family members. Not to make anybody else happy.
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  I threw my friend a birthday party.
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  What have you done for you lately?
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  What have you done for you? I need to know it quickly now.
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  Quickly, because a lot of people struggle to answer that
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  question. And this is not me trying to
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  make fun of anybody who can't answer that question, because I
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  understand why you can't answer that question.
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  I understand that it's tough to answer that question.
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  I get it. Trust me.
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  I definitely I understand it. Trust me, I definitely I
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  understand it. I get it.
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  But to what have you done for you?
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  I've done. I've.
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  I've spent so long serving other people and making other people
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  happy. I forgot how to I forgot how to
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  serve me. I forgot how to serve me.
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  And in this place right here, I know a lot of y'all want you.
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  A lot of a lot of y'all are religious folks.
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  A lot of y'all believe to be trusting yourself to be
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  Christian. You believe in the one true God
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  you know. If you are in a relationship
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  with a narcissist and you getting and you are praising and
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  worshipping this narcissistic person, then only seeking
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  validation from them. Are you making them a God in
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  your life? Are you worshipping a false
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  deity in your life when you're dealing with a narcissistic
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  person? Oh yeah.
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  Have you lost your faith while you're in this relationship with
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  a narcissist? Is this a false idol?
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  Is this the golden pig in your life right now?
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  Is that narcissist the golden pig or the golden hog and the
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  golden bear? Whatever, they created it in the
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  Bible. Then they started worshiping
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  when Moses went up to the top and he came back down.
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  What y'all were? What y'all worshiping?
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  What's this? What y'all got right here but
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  Moses came down. Moses.
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  Like, what y'all got? What is this?
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  What y'all worshipping? It wasn't Noah.
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  I never know. There's no one Moses.
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  It's one of them. Y'all.
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  I'm not, you see, I'm not. I'm not super hip.
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  It was one of them. No noses and noses.
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  Combination of nose. Noah and Moses Noses, noses was
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  in the top. It came back down.
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  Did it? Who got the 10 commandments?
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  I think Moses got the 10 commandments.
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  Who got the 10 commandments? I can't think of my mind going
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  blame right now. They came back down and people
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  were worshiping a false idol. Are you worshiping a false idol?
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  If so, if you feel like you're worshiping a false idol in a
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  toxic relationship, stop it right now.
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  Stop it work. Look, give, give, give your if
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  you believe you're a believer, give it to God, but also give it
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  to you. What about you?
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  That's how you take your power back.
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  You you you take the you take the power of validation from
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  them. You snatch it from them because
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  they don't deserve it. They don't deserve to dictate
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  how you feel about. They don't deserve to dictate
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  how you feel about you. You know, they don't deserve to
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  dictate how you feel about you in this space right now.
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  They don't deserve it. They don't feel it.
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  You get what I'm saying? Y'all my energy is super high
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  right now. I was listening to some Hans
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  Zimmer. The Interstellar came out.
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  I mean, I don't know. Let me record the video right
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  now. Let me get on.
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  Let me hit play. Let me record right now.
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  Yeah, empower yourself. This is how you take your power
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  back by empowering yourself. You cannot take your power back
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  if you refuse to. Empower yourself, if you refuse
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  to love yourself, if you refuse to pour into yourself.
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  What have you done for you? If you haven't done anything for
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  yourself in a long time, go do something for yourself today.
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  And it doesn't. When I say do something for
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  yourself today, it doesn't have to be grandiose.
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  It doesn't have to be big. It has to be.
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  It has to be something for you that you haven't done for
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  yourself in a long time. It can be as simple as calling a
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  family member or friend that you haven't spoken to in a long time
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  that you miss. That's doing it for you.
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  You know that's doing something for you.
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  Go for a walk, turn your phone off for 1520 minutes.
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  Do something for you. Because you cannot take your
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  power back until you have. It has to.
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  It has to have somewhere to go. How are you taking your power
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  back from a narcissistic person or a toxic person?
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  Whatever. If it has nowhere else to go, it
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  has to go in you. When you're taking your power
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  back, it has to go into you. So you have to be ready to
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  receive that power. You have to work on you.
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  You have to understand it, Understand like you have to.
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  It's time to wake up. I know so many people have have
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  reappropriated the word woke and just turned it into some kind of
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  craziness. But yo, it's time to be woke in
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  your relationship. You woke.
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  You've been woken up in your toxicity right now, you've been
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  woken up in this toxic relationship.
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  You understand what you're going through right now.
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  Understand it. Tell yourself the truth.
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  Because that's what you need to do right now.
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  That's the next step. Tell yourself the truth.
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  That's another thing. Tell yourself the truth right
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  now. Judge the relationship for where
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  it is, where it is right now. That's what Doctor Romney said.
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  Judge it for where it is right now.
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  Not where it could be, not where it's going, where it is right
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  now, where it is right now. I need you to judge it for where
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  it is right now in this space because that helps you grow,
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  that helps you heal, that helps you move forward in a lot of
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  these different spaces, a lot of these different dynamics,
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  because at the end of the day, you are in control of you.
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  They don't control you, you control you, you control you.
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  It's time to empower yourself. You know, it really, really is.
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  And I see it so much in toxic relationships because I still do
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  my, I still do my one O 1's over zoom.
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  And over the last few years here, I've talked to thousands
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  of people. And it's so common to see these
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  beautiful people inside and out that they have lost their spark.
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  You've lost your spark. You know, back back in the day
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  when we were struggling back in the day, we had those kerosene
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  heaters. You know, he had the spark.
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  He had to pour the kerosene in there.
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  He had to pour. You had to get.
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  We had to go to the store, right, Get that jug of kerosene.
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  Come on there, get the little, the little tube where you suck.
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  You can either pour the kerosene directly in there or you get the
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  little tube that's you squeeze the tube.
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  It sucks the IT sucks the kerosene from the jug and puts
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  it into the heater, right? You feel the kerosene heater.
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  You watch the little knob go to full and then you got to spark
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  it. You got to spark the heater.
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  You can put the fuel, you can put the fuel in it, but you got
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  to spark it. The kerosene heater, the heater,
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  whatever you it, it can be full. The tank can be full, but it
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  needs that spark to feel the heat.
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  You got to spark yourself. But what is your.
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  When I say spark yourself, that means find your.
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  Why? Why?
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  Why? Why is it important for you to
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  escape this toxicity? Why is it important for you to
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  heal yourself and grow? Why is it important for you to
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  take your power back? Why?
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  It could be your kids. My kids deserve better.
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  I deserve better. You know, if y'all love that
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  analogy right there about this, you got to spark it.
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  Y'all got to drop a flame. Drop a flame in the comment
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  section. Y'all got to drop a flame in the
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  comment section because that was it.
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  Yeah, you cannot tell me. You can't tell me that there
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  wasn't fire. Because you know what?
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  You know it was. You know what?
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  I don't know where it came from. Y'all that I'm telling y'all.
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  Listen. I'm not.
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  Look, I normally listen to some ushers and Luke Combs and Luke
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  Bryan and stuff like that while I'm while I'm working.
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  But I don't know, I see somebody's like, I just, I just
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  play some Hans Zimmer to change my mood.
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  I put that Hans Zimmer on and it just got my energy up.
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  Y'all seriously. But see, that's what this is,
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  where it goes. Where does it go?
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  You have to spark it. You can be fool, yeah, but you
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  have to spark that self Love. You have to spark that self,
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  that self preservation you have to spark.
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  Then you spark your flame. Your internal flame for
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  happiness. Your internal flame for growth.
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  And it does not matter how old you are.
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  I know some people just like, well, Lee, you get into the
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  y'all. See my video the other day about
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  the y'all. Saw my video the other day about
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  the sunk cost fallacy where people believe it.
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  Well, I've been in this too long.
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  Where I'm too old. I gave too much time in this to
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  leave. I poured too much money in this
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  to leave. Like the sunk cost fallacy says
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  you haven't. Like it's not too late.
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  Y'all right now the opposite of that is saying it's not too
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  late. I talked to people.
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  I talked to so many people here this year that they've been
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  married. Like I talked to two women this
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  year. Y'all they've been married for
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  43 years. They left 43 year toxic
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  marriages and are empowering themselves to be a strongly
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  apostle. Can just shout out to y'all too
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  Shout out to everybody, but specifically shout out to 43
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  years, 43 years and I was just like and they empowered y'all
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  they they sparked it. They sparked, they got that
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  spark, they got sparked up and they lit flame was burning so
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  brightly that you look when you when you spark yourself up.
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  Your flame is burning so brightly.
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  Nobody can put you down, nobody can dump you.
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  Like when your flame is burning so hot nobody can put it out, no
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  amount of water can put it out. Y'all see this is going to be
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  this is not like this is not me trying to pick or make fun of
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  those wildfires. They happen.
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  But when those fires get to going, damn you can't put them
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  out. They have damn, they have to put
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  themselves out when you can spark.
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  I saw somebody spark a wildfire with a put them a baby shot.
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  Well not a baby shot from one of those what you call it pregnancy
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  and gender. What is gender reveals they.
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  Then they start. They started a California
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  wildfire from a from a gender reveal and that thing burned
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  down so many acres they couldn't put, you can put, you can put
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  apply water to it all you want to.
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  They cannot put that damn thing out there like that damn thing
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  will keep burning once that, once your flame burns bright
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  enough, they can't put it out. That's why when you're in a
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  toxic relationship with a narcissist and they feel and
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  they see your flame starting to burn brighter and brighter and
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  they realize they can't put it out, they like like they don't
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  want your flame to burn bright y'all.
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  The brighter your flame is, the higher the higher the, the
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  higher that fireball goes, the less likely than they are to put
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  it out. The more you pour into yourself,
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  the more fuel you have, the greater the spark you have, the
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  more likely you are to heal and grow and move forward.
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  Y'all. So that's why.
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  That's why I'm just like saying anytime you feel like you need
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  something that you you, you like, when you miss that
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  narcissistic person, you feel like it.
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  Damn I I need. I need a hit.
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  You know, come back, watch this video.
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  This is how you take your power back because you have to pour
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  into you. You have to understand that you
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  deserve more. You have to understand that you
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  not only like, not only do you deserve more, you have to go get
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  it. You can deserve like y'all.
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  You can have all the deservings in the world, but you have to go
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  get it. You have to go out here and work
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  and get it and keep moving forward.
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  You know you absolutely do. Because I'm just telling you,
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  the narcissistic person in your life, they don't want to see you
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  win. Why would they?
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  Why would they want to see you win?
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  And this is not me trying to be funny, but they The more you
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  win, the more that narcissistic person in your life feels like
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  they're losing. So they don't want to see you
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  win. They want to see you stand right
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  where you are. So right now is the best time
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  right now to take your power back.
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  Well, Lee, I'm too old. No, you not.
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  Why? You think you're too old.
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  Who told? Who the hell told you that
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  you're too old? You told you told you that.
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  Narcissist told you? Well, nobody.
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  No. Well, Lee, nobody else is going
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  to want me. Who told you that?
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  Who told you that? Who said that nobody else is
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  going to want you? Who?
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  Who said that? Where are you?
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  Where are you? Who?
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  Who is your source of information?
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  Where you get this information from?
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  You know, where is this information coming from?
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  Y'all like seriously, this is the space that we're getting
• 14:07
  into. Y'all in 2024.
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  We are like, I'm helping more. Like my goal is to help more
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  people than I've ever helped before.
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  I've helped so many people in the last few years.
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  With 2024, I'm doing more in person stuff.
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  I'm going to be travelling around the country, around the
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  world doing these, doing these talks, doing these meet ups and
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  workshops and stuff like that. So coming to a city near you,
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  January probably going to be my first one, probably the probably
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  end of January. I'm doing something probably in
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  Durham or Charlotte NC will be my first one day.
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  We're going to be moving around. I'm putting some stuff in the
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  members only. If y'all join the channel
• 14:39
  membership, channel membership on YouTube, you'll see a little
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  bit more behind the scenes stuff.
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  I'm super thankful for every single one of y'all I really,
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  really am. Take your power back.
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  You deserve more. But I can say look I can say it
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  all I want to but once you once you get that spark, find out
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  what sparks you. Find that spark and keep it
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  going. Y'all I'm super thankful.
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  Super super super thankful for y'all don't.
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  It was a nose the noses I did it again.
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  Moses or Noah. I got to think about who did it.
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  Y'all I read the whole Bible but it's been a year I need to
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  reread it. But shout out to y'all.
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  I'm super thankful for you not to him.
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  This is out. Please thank you so much for
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  making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
• 15:22
  for being here. If you haven't already, make
• 15:24
  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 15:27
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 15:29
  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 15:32
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 15:34
  fault on Amazon, so check that out.
• 15:36
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
• 15:38
  video. Peace.