Latest / She's Next Level / 44: Being Rooted To Your Value No Matter What
Transcript
- Darshna Patel: women deal with this a lot, which is why they struggle with being rooted to their value and committing to the things that are important to them long term is because they're not seeing The validation, the recognition being reflected externally. And what it even means to validate yourself and recognize yourself is by knowing your value. Now, when I dissect the word value and what does value actually mean? Hello everybody and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. I'm your host, Starsh, and I help women live their most expansive life, look hotter, feel healthier, and be happier. So if that is something that you desire to do, then make sure that you stick around, subscribe, because we release episodes every week. Before we get into today's episode, I just want to take a moment and celebrate with you guys that it has been officially one year since I've had my podcast. And my god, it feels like it's just yesterday. There's been a lot of trials and tribulations, honestly, with this journey. And I feel like we're only getting started because I have a big vision for my podcast, and I'm excited for all the things that I've been working on behind the scenes. To invite more guests onto the podcast. I feel like I have the most fun when I'm having conversations with people and I'm just like the most lit and I get the best ideas that way. So I'm excited to bring that on. but I wanted to bring this up before we get started because I think it'll tie in really well with today's topic around celebrating your accomplishments and your achievements and not just like the big things. because I feel like we find the value and we celebrate the things that are huge, right? That society seems to be like amazing, like you are finally valuable, like you are important, like you've done something. And that is not how you build sustainable results over time in the way that you want to feel, which we all want to feel valuable, we all want to feel special, important, all of those things. And so I think it's really important to celebrate tiny little accomplishments and achievements throughout the day and every fucking day actually. Because I am reminding myself to start doing this. I've been doing it for a while and then I stopped doing it, and now I'm being called to start doing it again. And I just wanted to share this piece with you guys to encourage you guys as well to start recognizing your accomplishments and feeling proud of yourself for everything that you do because You are always growing every single day. You're always contributing to your goals and everything that you want to achieve. Like you are still making it happen and that your biggest accomplishments are from the day-to-day things that you do. So just wanted to mention that because I think it's going to tie in really well with today's topic. If you hear anything in the background, I'm outside in nature. If you see me on video, you already know what's up. roll with me here. today is all around how to be rooted to your value no matter the fuck what. Like without needing external validation. And I think this is a topic that I have been playing in my head for years and years and years. Like ever since I started getting into personal development, but it's become more prominent to me. over the past year or so because as I'm growing and evolving and you know learning all these new tools, I find that this is like one of the core and the heart of things where everything stems from, like your self-image. And I feel like it's so important for us to start working on this and being able to be rooted, you know, independent of anything that happens externally. Because here's the thing is that you know, we are social creatures at heart, you know, as human beings. I feel like with all the societal influences and contagions on social media, and if you're in the US, like, you know, we're all about achievement here. I feel like we can get lost in the sauce of like what actual value means and what we think it means. Because I feel like for me, at least in my own life, I have really placed a lot of my value with the accomplishments that I've had in my life. And like growing up, this was very prominent with you know how you were rewarded as a kid, how you were acknowledged, like how you were praised. And in my family, like my family really values. being someone and being viewed as someone that's important based on what you do. But I think a lot of people end up missing the core fundamental of what your value is. And it's really in who you are. And I talk about this often in my other previous episodes all around unconditional love. And one of like the main biggest tools that can really change your life around is being able to recognize your qualities, your traits. The attributes and things that make you you, even your personality. And despite having these tools, like sometimes it can be hard to be like, okay, but like I know who I am, right? I mean, a lot of people don't even know who the fuck they are. But like if you're here, you at least know to a certain extent, like you know yourself to some level if you're doing the inner work of who you are, but somehow you still find that disconnect of like not being Rooted in the value of who you are. And I want to know if you feel this way or if you ever thought about this. Because for me, especially more recently, have been sitting on this and like thinking about like I'm doing all these amazing things, and people are telling me all these amazing things that I'm doing. My clients are like super happy with what they're receiving from me, and yet I am still here not. Feeling as happy or fulfilled or as valuable as I want to feel. And a lot of it definitely stems from not feeling like you're doing enough. So that is one of the things that can happen that is triggering that to happen of like that's not valuable enough. A lot of that is coming from external validation. A lot of the things that we do actually, because think about it, if you, you know, continue doing the things that you're doing and you're putting your work out there, you're creating all these things. And And women deal with this a lot, which is why they struggle with being rooted to their value and committing to the things that are important to them long term is because they're not seeing The validation, the recognition being reflected externally. And one of the things that's going to give you that validation and recognition externally is when you're giving it to yourself. And what it even means to validate yourself and recognize yourself is by knowing your value. Now, when I dissect the word value and what does value actually mean? value to me means growth. means that you're getting better every single day. It means that you're adding a sense of increase in your life and you're feeling that in your life every single day. I know this has showed up a lot for me in career, and I'm sure a lot of women can relate to this where I was placing a lot of my sense of value based on the results that I was able to provide for my clients. And while that's amazing, I have to remember that it is also the client's job to do the work and that I am not in control of their life, that they are in control of their life. So Regardless of whether the value was transferred or not, it was definitely transferred, but their results doesn't determine whether it was valuable or not. Because again, it's up to them. Let's say that even if they did the work and they didn't get results, that did not mean that it wasn't valuable. There's so many factors and so many things that come into play. There's soul contracts, there's so many things that happen that are outside of our awareness. So it doesn't mean that it wasn't valuable. There's always perfection in everything. there's always positives and negatives to everything as Unconditional love really is neutrality. The universe is always in balance. So as long as we can control our perception around it being perfect, regardless that there is always value there, that would help with like a client situation, or the same concept with the podcast growth for me, or a business growth and social media growth and finances growing. any type of growth that we desire to experience. I feel like a lot of us when we don't see the results and we've been working at something for a while and we don't see that growth happening, like that is when we tend to second guess ourselves and second guess the value that we have to provide versus instead, if you especially if you train your intuition, where you can go in and look in to see like what's really happening. Like there's always growth and momentum going on, but there's always also opportunities to try new things. To be able to grow and increase your value, meaning increasing the skill sets that you naturally have, your personality, your traits, your attributes, like really pouring into those things that make you who you are, to be able to feel more rooted in your value. So when I sat down and I was like, okay, how can I be rooted to my value no matter what? Like no matter the external situation, circumstance, outcome, like anything that happens, how can I be rooted to what I have to provide is valuable, who I am is valuable, like just being valuable as a person and in anything that I do. And I realized that you need to give yourself the feeling first. our external world is reflected back to us through our thoughts, beliefs, our actions. It's radiating from that energy field that we have. And so in order for us to experience that validation, that recognition, This is where I started looking at every single situation that I was diving into, whether it was a client call, whether it is a podcast episode that I'm recording, anything that I'm doing. I'm looking for what is it that I want to get out of this? What is the value that I want to extract out of the situation? It's definitely a self love thing where you're prioritizing yourself and giving yourself what you need. Because when you do that, you are ultimately filling up your cup and you're giving yourself the value, the nourishment, like whatever it is that you need from the situation, you start to feel more fulfilled. Because you're giving yourself the feeling of value of the benefit of what you got to receive from the thing that you're doing, the thing that you're going into, you gave yourself that. And that has been the way that I have been starting to work on giving myself the feeling of value without relying on an external situation or outcome to happen. And being able to change my goal and my intention. for what value means to me based on what my intention is of what I want to get out of any situation or anything that I'm going into. I mentioned this prior, but value means growth. When you're growing, when you're getting better and better every single day, which you always are, even if you sat your ass down on the couch and you didn't do shit, you are still technically giving yourself the rest that you need. You're recharging that is valuable in your life. The brain likes to look for proof to be able to rewire your mind and be able to shift into another identity. A lot of us are looking externally of like, how was I valuable to this person? How did this thing bring value to me? Instead of going externally, I want you to go internally and I want you to start looking for. how am I valuable for my own life? How is what I'm doing? Valuable for me and my life. You see how I'm going internal from instead of looking externally of like what I'm doing is valuable for other people, you are rooting to your value internally. And you are giving yourself that feeling by seeing how everything in your life that you're doing is valuable to you. Everything that you do is valuable for you. Everything that you are is valuable to you in your life. And when you start to do that, you're obviously going to feel indirectly valuable to others because you're moving from that place of value. something else I also wanted to mention is just a few hacks in helping you change your language for certain things because there's always value in everything. And when you start to change your language in a way where it empowers you, then you start to feel like your life has more value. You start to feel more valuable and you start to be more in that energy of value. So anytime we feel like we're doing anything hard, right? Something may feel hard to you or like a challenge for you. And a lot of us can tend to beat ourselves up and be hard on ourselves, especially when we're trying something new and we fail at it or we feel like we're not able to grasp it. So instead of feeling that way, I want you to root to your value by connecting to How this is a fun challenge I always call it a fun challenge and be like, let's play with this. Like, come from a place of curiosity and playfulness. And let's see how far I can go with this. Like let's see what I'm capable of. I like to do this because we're always more capable than we think we are. And until we try new things and until we push ourselves just a tiny bit, it doesn't always have to be a big, huge amount. But once we do that, we really start to root to our value more because we feel proud of ourselves. We feel like we are capable. Another thing that I see really common is a lot of people feel like they're behind and they need to catch up to things. I know that I've felt this a lot in my life too. And I have worked really extensively on this. And something that's really helped me, and just even like shifting my language, is instead of saying like, I need to catch up on this, or I know I need to catch up, you can switch your language into I look forward to checking in. Checking in feels a lot better. Because it's more intentional and it helps you feel like you're not missing out on any value or anything that could add value in your life or that you do have enough value already to be able to do the things that you wanna do. So just a little recap, and what I want to leave you guys with is that I want you guys to start asking yourself, how are the things that you do for yourself valuable to you? And how are you valuable to yourself in your own life? And this is how I want you guys to start giving yourself that feeling of value because when you start to give it to yourself, everything's gonna be rated out to you in your external reality because it is radiating out in your energy. And something really, really important that I want you guys to take away from this episode, if you take anything away. is to realize that it is your world. It truly is your world and it's all about you. so knowing that I want you to start training your brain. This is actually a fun little brain hack that I've been implementing and I really, really love is starting to notice the value externally, like in every single thing. So I feel like because of judgment, you know, a lot of people deem one thing to be valuable and another thing not to be valuable. But the truth is that both things are always valuable. It's never an issue of value, it's an issue of perception in our judgment and being out of unconditional love. So when you start to notice the value in every single thing, in every single thing that you receive, and I want you to start there with the receiving and just noticing the value externally, That is when it actually becomes easier for you to notice the value with it because you cannot perceive externally what you don't have internally. So this will be a fun hack for you to start training your brain to start noticing the value in every single thing. Even the things that may not go the way that you had wanted them to, but there is value in that. If you really start to train your perception with this, it's going to set you free and it's also going to help you start to root to your own value without needing any outcome to feel valuable, without needing anyone to tell you that you're valuable to know that you are and be rooted in it. With having something go completely left in your life and still being rooted to how valuable you are. I know this can Pop up a lot in relationships when it comes to us being rooted in our value. and even in career. And this is where you want to be. This is your fucking power, bitch. So I want you to really hone in on these tools that I share with you guys. Like I'm learning more and more than ever that simplicity is the name of the game. There are so many ways to do things, and there's obviously so many tools that I have that have been super helpful for me, But I'm always focused on like what is going to be the most needle moving tools and the needle moving thing that you can do where it doesn't need to be a fucking laundry list, where simple things that you can do and it doesn't have to be a lot of things can really change a lot in your life. So start implementing this today. And if you haven't listened to my unconditional love episode, I highly recommend it. And I'll link it in the description box because Understanding unconditional love is a piece of value and understanding your value. and the tool that I had mentioned around how to recognize your traits and your attributes, and all of those things is really gonna help tie in really well with this, and that's in that episode. So be sure to listen to that right after this so that you can really take this in and really start rooting to your value internally. Because I'm telling you right now, no matter how many accomplishments that you have, no matter how much praise that you receive in your life, it doesn't mean shit if you are not rooted to your own value and you are okay with not having anything in your life. You are okay with it going away. And still feeling valuable, that is where you are in your power, bitch. Like that is where you want to be in your life because nothing and nobody can ever make you feel any type of way. And it's not even about other people. It's actually about you. You can start to feel more happier and more fulfilled in your life. And That is where you want to be. So thank you so much for tuning in. Let me know on Instagram your takeaways and implementing some of this stuff. I really want to hear your wins. I love hearing and celebrating your wins with you because it's like amazing to not only see this work work for me, but also others. My Instagram is darsh vibes d-a-r-s-h V-I-B-E-S-S. Hit me up, girl. And I will catch you guys in the next episode. Bye. Thank you for tuning in. If you enjoyed this episode, please share with a friend and be sure to tag us on Instagram. your support makes a difference and we wouldn't be able to do it without you. So please make sure that you leave us a review, whether on Apple or Spotify, so that we can continue growing our show and reaching more like-minded women like us. I'll catch you guys in the next episode.