Latest / The IDEA SANDWICH Podcast / Are You Growing or Just Getting Comfortable?
Transcript
- Ara Topouzian: To make a great sandwich, you need great ingredients. And the same goes for your work and yourself. The way you layer them, balance them, and maybe even toast them a little. That's what makes something memorable. I'm Ara Topouzian and this is the idea sandwich, where we mix the right layers of creativity, business, and life to make something worth biting into. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to surround ourselves with people who make us comfortable? We attend the same networking events. We talk to the same people. We sit at the same tables. We have lunch with the same colleagues. And when we're looking for advice, we often turn to people who already think like we do. Now there's nothing necessarily wrong with any of that, but are we actually growing or are we just moving sideways? Today I want to talk about getting out of our comfort zones. Not necessarily by doing something dramatic or taking some enormous risk, but by challenging ourselves to do things a little bit differently. I've come to believe that sometimes the greatest obstacle to our growth isn't a lack of opportunity. It's our own comfort. Think about the last event you attended. You walk into the room, you look around, and immediately start searching for a familiar face. And when you find one, there's that sense of relief. there's someone that I know, someone that I can go and talk to. Okay. So before you know it, you've spent a half hour to an hour maybe catching up with someone you've known for several years. And you might have had a great conversation. Maybe you even enjoyed yourself. But what did you really get out of it? Did you learn anything new? Did you meet someone who challenged your thinking? Did you develop a relationship that might open a new door? Or did you just simply reinforce a relationship that was already there? Now, don't misunderstand me. Maintaining relationships is important. It's essential. But there's a difference between maintaining relationships and expanding our world. And too often we choose the former because it's easier. Here's the way I look at it. Imagine your professional life as a series of circles. Inside your circle are the people the experience you've had, the skills you've developed, and the ideas you're familiar with. Every time you interact with the same people, have the same conversations or approach your work the same way. Every time you interact with the same people, have the same conversations. Or approach your work the same way, you're moving around inside that circle. You're moving sideways. But what happens when you introduce something new? You meet someone from an entirely different profession. You volunteer for a project that requires skills you haven't developed. You attend an event where you don't know anyone. You ask for advice from someone whose career looks nothing like yours. Suddenly that circle starts to expand. You've added something. And I think that's an important distinction. Growth isn't always about moving up. Sometimes it's about adding something that wasn't there before: a new perspective, a new relationship, a new skill, maybe even a new understanding of yourself. Those things might not immediately result in a promotion. Or a new business opportunity, but they make you more interesting, more capable, and ultimately more valuable. I've spent much of my professional career working with people, building relationships and connecting individuals and organizations. And one thing I've observed is that people tend to gravitate toward those who are similar to them. People in the same industry, people with similar experiences, people who share their opinions. It's human nature. But there is a danger in surrounding ourselves exclusively with people who validate what we already believe. We stop being challenged. And when we stop being challenged, we immediately stop growing. Think about your own professional network. How many people in that network could introduce you to an entirely different way of thinking? How many work in industries you know very little about? How many would respectfully disagree with you? And how many would tell you something you might not want to hear? Those relationships can be incredibly valuable. Not because they're always comfortable, but precisely because they're not. here's something. I've noticed a lot over the years. I'll see a speaker or a panelist announced for an event. And when I look at who's organizing it, I sometimes immediately make the connection. I think to myself, yeah, I get it. They're friends. Now let me be clear. That speaker may be incredibly qualified. They may have tremendous experience and something valuable to share. But I can't help wondering whether they were selected because they were the best person for the audience. Or simply because they were someone the organizer knew and felt comfortable asking. And that's where I think we need to challenge ourselves. Because when you're organizing an event, you're not just filling a spot on the agenda. You're creating an opportunity for people to learn something, hear a different perspective, or be inspired. Are you choosing someone because they'll bring something new to the conversation or because they're the easiest person to call? And if it's the latter, who really benefits? Does the audience benefit? Does the organization benefit? Does the organizer grow professionally by continually relying on the same familiar circle? Or are we doing a disservice to the very people we're supposed to be serving? I don't think there's anything wrong with inviting friends or colleagues to speak. I've certainly called upon people I know throughout my career, but I think we owe it to ourselves and especially to our audiences to look beyond our immediate networks. Maybe there's someone we haven't met who has an incredible story to tell. Maybe there's an emerging leader whose perspective deserves to be heard. Maybe there's someone who would challenge the conventional thinking in the room. But finding those people requires effort. It requires research. It requires reaching beyond what's familiar. And yes, sometimes it requires taking a chance on someone you don't know. Because if we only give opportunities to the people already in our circle, we're not expanding the conversation. We're just recycling it. and isn't that another example of moving sideways instead of moving forward? So, why do we choose familiar over unfamiliar? Why do we do this? Why do we continually gravitate toward people we already know instead of making the effort to discover someone new? I think there's a few reasons. First, familiarity feels safe. We know what to expect. We know someone's personality, their capabilities, and how they'll respond. There's less uncertainty. Second, it's convenient. Let's face it, it's much easier to call someone already in your phone than research someone new, introduce yourself, and build a relationship. And third, there's a little bit of the fear of the unknown. What if the person doesn't respond? What if they say no? What if they don't deliver what we expected? So instead we take the easy route. And here's what I find interesting. Sometimes we disguise convenience as good judgment. We tell ourselves we're choosing someone because we trust them, because their experience, or because we've worked with them before. And maybe all those things are true, but have we really considered anyone else? That's the question. Because there's a difference between making an informed decision and making a comfortable decision. And I think this becomes even more interesting as we advance in our own careers. The longer we work, The more people we know, our professional network grows, right? We build relationships, we develop a reputation, and eventually we can get almost anything done by calling someone we already know. That's a wonderful advantage. But there is also a potential downside as our professional networks grow, our willingness to expand them can actually shrink. We become so comfortable with the relationships we've accumulated. that we stop actively l developing new ones and without realizing it, the very network that helped us grow can begin to limit our growth. Career growth requires some discomfort. Let's take this beyond networking. Think about how we approach our careers. Sometimes we become so comfortable in our roles that we stop asking what else we're capable of doing. We know our responsibilities, we understand the expectations, we've figured out how to navigate the organization. And there's a certain satisfaction in being good at what we do. But there is also a risk. Being good at your current job doesn't necessarily mean you're preparing yourself for the next opportunity. That requires something different. Maybe it means volunteering to lead a project outside your area of expertise. Maybe it means asking to participate in a conversation where you don't have all the answers. Maybe it means learning a new skill or pursuing a professional opportunity that feels a little bit intimidating. Or maybe it means admitting that there's something you don't know. That's not always easy, although I'm the first one to admit. I don't know everything. I think we're all in that same boat. Especially when you've reached a certain point in your career, if people expect you to have the answers. But I think there's tremendous value in putting yourself in situations where you're not the expert, because that's where learning begins. And here's another thought. Sometimes we say we want to advance in our careers, but we continue doing exactly the same things, interacting with exactly the same people and approaching opportunities in the exact same way. Then we wonder why nothing changes. Maybe the issue isn't that opportunities aren't available. Maybe we haven't made ourselves available to new opportunities. What about the way we do our jobs? Here's another area where comfort can hold us back. Our daily work. How often do we continue doing something simply because that's the way we've always done it? We run the same meetings, we organize the same events, we approach the same problems with the same solutions. And because things seem to be working, we just don't question them. But there's a difference between Something working and something being the best it can be. One of the questions I think every leader should ask periodically is what am I doing today simply because it's what I did yesterday? I ask that question all the time. And that's not always a comfortable question because sometimes the answer requires us to change something. And change means uncertainty. It means we might make a mistake. We're always afraid to make mistakes. It means we might have to learn something new. Sometimes we don't want to do that. But if we never challenge our routines, how can we expect different results? We can't keep recycling the same ideas and expect to create something new. And I think this is particularly important for leaders because when we continually choose the comfortable option, we're not just limiting ourselves. We may also be limiting the people in the organizations we're responsible for leading. So how do we break that habit? I don't think getting out of your comfort zone requires some dramatic transformation. It starts with being intentional. Before you make that familiar phone call, stop and ask yourself, who else? Who else could contribute? Who else might bring something different? Who else deserves an opportunity? If you're organizing an event, challenge yourself to identify three potential speakers you don't personally know before making your selection. If you're networking, make it a point to have a meaningful conversation with someone outside your usual circle. If you're hiring or building a committee, don't limit your search to the people whose names immediately come to mind. And if you're trying to advance your career, seek out someone whose professional journey looks nothing like yours. Here's another suggestion: get comfortable being the person who doesn't know everyone in the room. I think that's especially important for those of us who have spent years building professional networks. There is a certain satisfaction in walking into an event and knowing half the people there, but maybe. We should occasionally challenge ourselves a walk into a room where we know absolutely no one because that's where we have to make an effort. We have to introduce ourselves. We have to ask questions. We have to listen. And we might discover something we never would have encountered before. Now, I'm not suggesting we abandon the relationships we've spent years building. Those relationships do matter, but we shouldn't allow them to become the boundaries of our professional lives. And here's the bigger point. Every time we choose familiarity, simply because it's easier, we may be passing up an opportunity to add something new to our lives, a new idea, a different perspective, an unexpected relationship, an opportunity we didn't even know existed. So perhaps. The next time we're about to make the comfortable choice, maybe we should ask ourselves one simple question. Am I choosing this because it's the best option or because it's the easiest? Because those aren't always the same thing. Adding to your life. I keep coming back to this idea of adding because I think it's a useful way to measure growth. Not everything we do has to produce an immediate result. Not every conversation has to lead to a business opportunity. Not every professional relationship needs to be transactional. Sometimes the value is simply in the experience. You learn something about an industry you never understood. You hear a perspective that causes you to reconsider your own. You meet someone whose story inspires you to think differently about your future. You discover an interest you didn't know you had. You've added something to your life. And those additions accumulate. Over time, they influence how you think, how you lead, how you make decisions, and how you connect with others. That's the real growth, in my opinion. And it rarely happens when we're doing only what's familiar. So here's my challenge. The next time you attend a networking event. Don't immediately gravitate toward the people you know. Introduce yourself to someone new. Better yet, introduce yourself to someone whose work you know absolutely nothing about. Ask questions, be curious, and most importantly, listen. The next time you're offered an opportunity that feels slightly outside your abilities, don't automatically say no. Consider saying yes. the next time you're in a meeting and someone offers an idea that seems completely different from yours, resist the urge to dismiss it. Explore it. And the next time you find yourself doing something simply because it's comfortable. Ask yourself whether you're actually making progress. Because here's something worth remembering you don't have to abandon your comfort zone, you just have to stop letting it define the boundaries of your life. You know, as we get older and more established in our careers, I think it's natural to become more comfortable with what we know. We've earned some of that comfort through experience. But experience should give us the confidence to explore new things, not become an excuse to avoid them. And perhaps that's the real challenge: to remain curious, to remain open, to be willing to walk into a room where we don't know anyone, to take on something where success isn't guaranteed, to recognize that the people who can help us grow aren't necessarily the people who make us feel the most comfortable. So the next time you're evaluating your professional or personal growth, don't just ask yourself how far you've come. Ask yourself what you've added along the way. What have you learned? Who have you met? What have you tried? And how have you challenged yourself? Because you can spend an entire career moving sideways and mistake all that activity for progress. Being busy isn't the same as growing. Being comfortable isn't the same as being fulfilled. And moving isn't always the same as moving forward. I'm Ara Topouzian and this has been the idea sandwich. Until next time, keep asking questions, keep challenging yourself, and most importantly, keep adding something new to your life.