Latest / Twin Mom Life / Processing the Shock & Fear of Finding Out You're Pregnant with Twins (Spoiler: It Gets Better)

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Processing the Shock & Fear of Finding Out You're Pregnant with Twins (Spoiler: It Gets Better) · Twin Mom Life

• Brie Simmons: we didn't picture this big family of ours and we have it and I I honestly feel I went from feeling like, my gosh, why me to like I'm really happy that this is this is me. this is a part of like my my story here in this lifetime Jessielee Sittig: Hello and welcome to the Twin Mom Life podcast. I'm your host, Jess. I created this podcast to help build community, connection, and most importantly, friendships among moms of multiples. Being a twin mom can be amazing and magical. That twin bond is unlike anything I've ever witnessed, but it can also be isolating and overwhelming. I'll be chatting with other twin moms, diving deep into the twin experience. giving advice on what works for us so you don't have to learn the hard way. Juggling two babies at the same time is challenging, but I'm confident we can learn from each other and figure out how to raise these babies together. Jess Sittig: welcome to the podcast. So today we have Brie. How are you? I'm so good. Thank you for coming on. And can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Brie Simmons: I'm good. How are you? Yeah, so I am a mom of three. I've got one girl that is three years old, and then two twin boys that are they just turned five months old. married to my high school sweetheart. I think that we started dating when I was like 16 or so. so we've been together for 15 years, married for nine. we live in thank you. We live in Overland Park. We love Kansas City. Jess Sittig: Yeah. Brie Simmons: and right now there's a bunch of like FIFA World Cup stuff going on here, which has been fun. do real estate, but I'm also a full time mom. So juggling it all has been interesting and I'm learning and growing as we go. So Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. It's a lot. I know we were kind of talking about that before we started recording and managing all of that. And your twins are only five months old. Like that's a lot, a lot to balance. So well, thank you for taking time out of your day to come on and chat with me. I really appreciate it. And I feel like our stories are actually really similar. So I have an older daughter and twin boys in the same age gap. They're three years apart. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah, thanks for having me. Jess Sittig: And I have also known my husband since high school. So yeah, when you said that, I was like, that's fun. Like another overlap on our story. So we dated in high school, but we like broke up and then kind of did our own thing and then reunited in our early 20s. So we are celebrating 10 years of marriage next month. Yeah. Yes, I know. And you're like to nine years, I'm like, yep, right there. Exactly. And so I love that. Brie Simmons: fine. Yeah. Okay. That's awesome. We are so similar with our timelines and things linked up. That's funny. Jess Sittig: okay, so before we hop into today's episode, how did you fill your cup today or do you have any plans to do so? Brie Simmons: I do have plans to do so so I am going to just like totally put my phone down. Work has been really busy and with real estate I've gotta be on my phone all the time. But I've got plans to just put my phone away and spend some time with my boys. It's interesting, like even though I'm with them all the time, I don't necessarily have like quality time with them. and that does fill up my cup. Just like not just juggling all the time, but actually just like spending some time with them, like on the floor, where I'm not like, okay, I'm gonna keep you distracted while I do X, Y, Z, because that's really a lot of my day. I'm sure you can relate. Like when you're with your kids, you've got a million other things to do. But that's how I'm gonna fill up my cup today. I feel like I just like need a good reset and to like slow down. I feel like my nervous system needs it and theirs do too. So Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. I think that's such a good lesson in parenting and maybe especially in twin parenting is like slowing down. And you're so right. I feel like a lot of the time I'm like, okay, go play over here so that I can fold the laundry or do the dishes or whatever is on my to-do list. But taking that intentional time, I love how you said putting your phone down, putting your phone down, maybe in a different room, and taking that time to just spend with your kids with like no n none of your to-do lists floating in your head. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: Like I'm gonna spend 30 intentional minutes, like just full on playing. I love that. That's that's sweet and necessary. And like you said, I feel like a good reset. Like not everything is like an emergency. And I feel like I'm constantly reminding myself of that. Like this is not an emergency. it's okay if the laundry pile is sitting there, it will eventually be folded. And it's not, yeah. Brie Simmons: Yeah, yeah. Totally. Yep. Jess Sittig: It's not an emergency. So Brie Simmons: Yep. Prioritizing and just and on that same token I will say like I think I told you yesterday I had like a mental breakdown just 'cause like the boys were crying all day to the point where like I took them to the walking because I'm like, surely they've got an ear infection. And like, nope, of course, like everything looks great. They're just being fussy, and I'm like, my goodness, I can't get a break. Like I'm literally wearing these noise canceling headphones around my house because I'm like Jess Sittig: Hm. Hmm. Brie Simmons: I'm gonna lose it if I hear, you know, more crying. But I feel like they do pick up on our stress too. And so I'm like, okay, work has slowed down for me today. So I'm gonna like not busy myself back up again. I'm gonna like just and being a twin mom really does make you slow down. It is like the universe being like, you need to Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Brie Simmons: Calm down. The fly. I see it. Jess Sittig: That stupid fly. my god. Like I actually left the door open so that it could like. I am so sorry. The fly is not, he is not supposed to make an appearance on this podcast. Like, that is I live in central Texas and it is hot and we are having a major fly issue. my gosh, I'm so grossed out. I'm so sorry. Well, but yes, okay, three under three is so hard. It is. Brie Simmons: Fire. I love it. Yeah. No, you're fine. Jess Sittig: A lot. You have a toddler who needs you. You have newborns who literally are relying on you for everything. And one thing we were talking about is like when we were chatting before we started recording was sometimes like the hardest part, not the hardest part, but sometimes it can feel like the hardest part of managing your twins is your toddler. Like they have big emotions and they need constant attention and it's really Hard and you're trying to work on top of that all like Brie Simmons: Yeah. It's chaos. It's just chaos. But yeah, the toddler, it's just like because it's like the boys will need something and so you're literally juggling and there's not enough hands. And you know, you didn't get the right snack or something for your toddler, and then they're losing it and you're like, Okay, I'm fine. The house is burning, but it's fine. Jess Sittig: That's a lot. One of my favorite stories about my daughter, she's like always been obsessed with spaghetti. So she was like having lunch or something, and she's like, I would like more. And I'm like, Okay. So I give her another portion of spaghetti and she's scream crying. And I'm like, What's up, girl? I got you like, you're so hungry. Here's more of your spaghetti. And she was like, I she quote unquote said, I want a different more. Brie Simmons: That's amazing. Jess Sittig: I was like, that is some toddler behavior. Like I don't even know what that means. Can you specify like, do you want a banana? Do you want a cheese stick? What does that mean? Brie Simmons: It's Mm. Yeah. I I say this all the time to my daughter. I'm like, I love you, girl. we're gonna be fine. All right. Like just deep breaths. We're good. Jess Sittig: And it just it gets better and better. I will say, like so many people were like, my gosh, watch out for the terrible twos. We did not experience that with our daughter. Our daughter was like a sweet angel. And then it was like the second she turned three. We were like, like three major, have you heard that term? That is real. That is real. And it gets I promise it gets better. So I know your daughter's what, three and a half now. It will get Brie Simmons: Yeah. who's this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: Better and better and better. Brie Simmons: Yeah, I that's what I hear and so I'm like totally holding on to that. I will say even though the the three years old is hard, it's also so fun 'cause you get to like hang out with your kid. They've got a little bit of a personality. So yeah, I like it just depends on the day. If you ask me what's what's more difficult, the twin boys or the toddler, 'cause sometimes it just changes. Jess Sittig: Yes. I think that's such a good point. I really do think one of the hardest parts of like raising littles is the inconsistency and like the roller coaster of emotion. Like you don't know what you're gonna get. Like one day it might just be like a magical day and you have so much fun at the park, you know. And then the next day you're like, everyone has been crying all day. And it just it's frustrating. Like I know you said you took your sons to the doctor to make sure they didn't have like an ear infection or anything. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: I think that's a just a good mom like crossing things off the list. And then nothing. You're like, okay, so you're just crying. Great. And yes, you're like, what's going on? I wonder if they're starting to get like art. Can you see if they're getting like any little little teeth or anything? Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like so The doctor like checked too. She was like, No, I don't see anything, but like, yeah, you know, the the whole teething process is just feels like forever because it's like the the pre before they get teethed, like their gums are just tight, and then, you know, all the things. And then I feel like we've hit like all of the regressions, all the leaps, and I'm just like, Okay, every time I feel like we're like, okay, good, something else happens, but I can't complain. I mean, they're healthy, like it's just a season and that's what I I mean you quite literally I feel like have to hold on to when you're a mom of multiples is just knowing that this will subside and you'll get past it. Like there's no other way to to sometimes survive it, just knowing that like first off you have to laugh. Like there's so many times where Ian and I, my husband, we're just like, we have to this is funny. This is so chaotic. If we don't laugh we'll cry. So Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes. That was us. So we took our son to the zoo this weekend, like a whole family. It was my son's third birthday yesterday, which is just so crazy. So this is a I know it's so wild. So this is a no-party year, but we did the zoo and we had so much fun. We stayed at the zoo significantly longer than anyone thought. Like everyone was having so much fun and I feel like Brie Simmons: So crazy. Yeah. Jess Sittig: Now that they're three, they still need a nap, but like we can push it, you know? boy. So the zoo that we went to is an hour and a half from our house. My son Wyatt cried the whole way home. The whole way home. We're trying to hand him snacks. We're trying to be like, buddy, your body needs some sleep. Like, try to take a nap. No, he was just mad. Brie Simmons: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, close your eyes. Jess Sittig: So not that we're laughing at him, but my husband and I are like looking at each other and kind of laughing because it's kind of the only way to handle it in a situation like that. You know, so I feel you on that. And it's nice to have I feel like maybe that also comes with perspective because I feel like I'm able to do that a lot more with my boys than maybe I was able to do with my daughter. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yes. Totally, I feel that for sure. Because you do know that those times pass and it's not you doing anything wrong. Nothing's wrong with them either. It's just the age and the situation. I feel like I went into like fix it mode all the time with my daughter, and that's something that I worked on in therapy. It was like some things just don't need fixing. It just is what it is, you know. Jess Sittig: Yes. Right. Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I think that is such a good lesson. And like we said, kind of something that is really hard to learn if you don't have that perspective. Because now we know, okay, eventually your kids will sleep through the night. Eventually they'll be able to tell you, hey mommy, I'm crying because my tummy hurts. Or you mean, you know, in so many words. Like eventually they'll be able to commute communicate more. And when you're in the thick of it. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yes. Right. Jess Sittig: you really can't see that unless you've had maybe another kid or an experien like a similar experience. So Brie Simmons: Right. I totally I totally feel that. And that's why I feel like moms need other moms and to be able to hold that space to share and to validate that, you know, you're not crazy for feeling this way. All of us have likely felt the same way. So Jess Sittig: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I know that's so huge. I have the we have like a group chat with my friends and it's literally titled Mom Friends. And I feel like a lot of the time it's just us like trying to coordinate play dates. But mixed in there is like, hey, have you guys experienced this? Like my daughter has hand, foot, and mouth. What would what did you guys do when your kids have that? And it's just so fun to learn from other moms and Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: Yeah, like you don't have to learn all these things from scratch. You can learn from other people's experiences. And that was a big reason that I wanted to start the podcast. I'm like, I have learned so many tips and tricks. And aside from that, just like the community of being able to talk to other twin moms, you know? But some things I'm like, dang, I wish I would have done that. Like one one of my friends, I actually she hasn't been on the podcast, but I met her at a twin mom play date. She had a mini fridge in her room for like Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: middle of the night bottles. I was like, that is so brilliant. So brilliant. Especially if you have a two story home in your bedrooms on the upper floor. I'm like, yeah, that's really smart. But mm-hmm. Brie Simmons: amazing. Amazing. Yeah, it is. Necessary. Necessary. I mean, you you you feel that's another thing like too, like with we got a bottle washer this time for the twins. And I felt like before I had twins, I was like, That's a little like you don't need a bottle washer, you can just wash the bottles. But like I'm like, Nope, this helps me just like keep it going when you've got two babies to feed, like and you can just wash, you know, five bottles at a time. It's worth it for my sanity. So Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Yes. For your time, for your sanity. Absolutely. Of course. Okay, I'm trying to think how I filled my cup today. So, you know, it's early. I think we're both in Central, like early, it's 10, 10-ish. and my daughter has a camp this week. So she's not really doing any camps this summer. They are expansive. It's like, my. Brie Simmons: Yes. Yep. Yep. Yeah, I can imagine, yeah. Jess Sittig: So she's just doing, we're doing like a VBS later in summer, but this she's doing an art camp and she loves it. So it's nine to twelve today. So our whole summer has been very loosey-goosey. Like have breakfast leisurely, but you know, yesterday and today I'm like, we gotta be there. We gotta drop you off at nine. So we've been in a little bit more, kind of like slightly more rushed mornings. Brie Simmons: Cute. Yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: And my husband always makes fun of me. Like, if I'm feeling slightly stressed, he'll come in and he's like, What are you doing? I'm like, I'm making banana bread from scratch. He's like, great. Just just add that. Add that on top of everything. So I did that this morning. Like, why not? We're already running late. Why not? I have bananas that have been sitting on the counter for a couple of days. It was funny though, because yes, I just, I was like, it has to be done. I should do it right now. And he's just laughing at me like. Brie Simmons: Yeah. I love it. Mm-hmm. Yep. Okay. Yeah. Jess Sittig: I don't understand what's happening in your brain. I'm like, me neither, but everyone's gonna love fresh banana bread. Brie Simmons: It's just amazing. But it's so relatable. That's so relatable. Jess Sittig: Yeah, it's and it it's delicious. I add a bunch of chocolate chips and it's so yummy and yeah. So that's what I did. And even though the morning was a little chaotic, it did very much fill my cup. So Brie Simmons: Amazing. I love that. I love it. Sometimes you have to do that. Sometimes you're like, I mean, I know that it's chaotic, but like this one little thing is might add to the cha chaos, but it's also gonna bring me joy. So I've gotta do it. Jess Sittig: Yes. Yeah. The joy outweighed the chaos, you know? Yeah. Okay. So I would love to talk to you about your twin pregnancy because you are like a twin mama pregnancy goddess and made it to 39 weeks, or essentially, was it 38 and five days, which yeah, which is 39 weeks. So Brie Simmons: Yep. Yep. Thirty eight weeks and five days, yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: Can you tell us about that and your delivery and any tips to I know sometimes it's out of a mom's control, but if you have any tips of like why you think you were able, you know, be be that pregnant with twins, yeah. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah. Get to that point. Yeah. Well I will say so I I had morning sickness. Did you experience morning sickness when you were pregnant? Jess Sittig: girl, it was terrible. Mm-hmm. Brie Simmons: So bad. Like, I mean, it was bad with my daughter. It was absolutely like debilitating with the boys. so so the first trimester was a lot of me like just laying laying around and like eating honestly fast food, whatever I could stomach. I ended up having to get on medication for my nausea just because it truly was Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. I feel the same way. Mm-hmm. Brie Simmons: I use the word debilitating and I'm not like I usually try to do a bunch of other things before I just like jump to medication. And this one was like, if it's not gonna harm the babies, it's safe. Like I've gotta do something to survive because I've got a toddler that also needs me. Jess Sittig: Right. Right. It's a very different pregnancy experience. Like with my daughter, when I was pregnant with her, I would come home from work and sleep all weekends. I would be like so watching movies and just laying down and napping. And then it's like a rude awakening when you're pregnant with twins with the toddler. I would throw up, like making her lunch, and she would like narrate it. that was a big one, mommy. And like I can't I couldn't smell meat. It was like Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah. my god. Yeah. Jess Sittig: I just couldn't. I mean, really the smell of anything. Dog food. I couldn't feed our dog. I was like, this I cannot. I cannot. Brie Simmons: I know. yeah, my husband tried and actually I had bought him this soap that I thought that smelled really good and he was trying to surprise me by showering with it and then he gets out of the shower and I was like, my god. He's like, Do you like this smell? I was like, I am gonna throw up. He's like What the What the heck? Like you you bought this for me and I ended up throwing up in our hallway and I'm like, that has to like you have to throw that away immediately and also just like don't come near me. Jess Sittig: Right. You're like, go shower again. my gosh, that Brie Simmons: Like the smell of you. Yeah. I'm like, I can't. So, anyways, I was really sick, and it I feel like that's when I realized, okay, this is gonna be different this time. Like, you know, we talked about like having twins forces you to slow down. I feel like it starts with pregnancy. and I'm a really active person. I work out every day, it helps me with my mental health. And I got to the point, like in my third trimester, like I just physically couldn't. So, like, I really prioritized rest. And I feel like more moms need to hear that like that's okay to prioritize rest. And so honestly, I took it really easy as much as I could with a toddler and still like trying to do adventures and and do all the things, but you don't have to, you know, do all the things all the time. Like one of my friends told me, she was like, if all your toddler remembers Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Brie Simmons: during this short amount of time is that you guys like watched movies, ate mac and cheese for most meals or chicken nuggets, and like hung out on the couch like that's living the life for them. Like that's okay. Like there's nothing wrong. And it's like and first they they won't remember like they all they feel is the love. And so 'cause I'm very much so like, okay, let's, you know, let's make sure we go to the park every day. And like there were just days where I just couldn't. And you know, we just Jess Sittig: Yes, so true. Yeah. Brie Simmons: did sidewalk shock and hung out. So I really took it easy, listened to my body a lot. as far as like the end of my pregnancy. So I thought that like I had to have a C-section because I was having twins. I'm not sure like why that was in my mind for the longest time, but I was like, surely I'm gonna have to. Yeah. So you know, it is what you hear. So I and it's also, you know, the safest Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Feel like that's what you hear a lot though. That's what you hear. Brie Simmons: Or what from what my perspective and my experiences that I had to do it because it was gonna be the safest. And so but my doctor, you know, we really talked towards the end and she's like, I mean, you've had a vaginal birth before. It went well. baby A is bigger than baby B, so we could give it a go if you wanted to. And I was like, I mean, yeah, that sounds great. Like not having to recover from a C section with a toddler sounds nice. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Brie Simmons: So, anyways, yeah, we kind of played it risky because the day that I went in for my induction, baby B ended up being breached. Like he was head down for the longest time. And then we were like checking, getting everything ready, and turns out he was breached. And so that was like that was a hard one for me to play mentally because I was like, I still really want to try to deliver vaginally, but I realized that it's There's a risk involved, because he's breached. So that was scary for a bit because he didn't like cry right away when he came out. He was a little bit shocked because my what happened was I did deliver vaginally. My doctor kind of helped me grabbing his feet and we like got him out. but they go through shock when that happens. Feet first. Jess Sittig: So he was born like feet first. What is that called? Like a footling, a footling presentation. Brie Simmons: I don't I yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but it's not common from what I hear. And so that freaked me out. And I, you know, I had an immense amount of mom guilt. I'm like, should I have just gotten the C section, you know, all the things? but everything turned out to be fine. and I and I honestly, I mean, it's different delivering in an OR. Like that was not the same experience. Like with my daughter, we were playing like Chris Stapleton and Jess Sittig: yeah. Hmm. Mm-hmm. Brie Simmons: Casey Musgraves and like vibing when I was giving birth with my epidural, like it was great. It's a little different in the O R. So Jess Sittig: Yeah, I totally agree. So were you able to labor in a regular room and then you were wheeled to the OR like once it was go time? Brie Simmons: Yes. Yes. So I wasn't in the OR for for very long. It was like, okay, we're dilated to a ten. We're gonna go have these babies. Jess Sittig: Yeah, okay. Yeah, that was the same for me. And I will say I had like just a bad reaction to my epidural. I was so nauseous. I was so nauseous. So I just remember wanting like to be done. Like I wanna be, I wanna have these babies. I want to be done. And when we got to the OR, I was just like, wow, this is a lot of people and this is overwhelming. Brie Simmons: Yeah, you Mm. Jess Sittig: And they had asked me ahead of time, like, hey, we have some nursing students and maybe some like residents or something. I don't know if I'm using the proper term. We have some students who are interested. Can they view the birth? And I was like, sure. Not really thinking about like how many people were gonna be in the OR. And it wasn't just that. It was like, was your husband dressed in the full garb? Like the, yeah, I wasn't prepared for that. So he was like wearing the hairnet, and I was like, Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yes, yep. Yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: my goodness. So that Brie Simmons: Well. Jess Sittig: something about that like kind of got me all freaked out. And then like it's so sterile and bright. And then there were, I mean, easily 15 people in the room, if not more. I mean, because I had allowed students to come in. So and and I'm all about that normally. Like sure. Like, you know, I'm sure you don't see like a vaginal twin delivery all the time. But in retrospect, like I might have said, Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yes. Right. Jess Sittig: No, I think I would like to keep it only to the people who need to be in the room because that already is like twelve people, you know. Brie Simmons: Right. It's already a lot. It's a lot 'cause people I mean, there's like it's like all hands on deck with the twin delivery. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yes. Okay, so at least your doctor felt comfortable with baby B being breach. Because I feel like some doctors might have like, never mind. Like we're switching to a C section. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yes, yeah, it was it was cool. My my doctor is I've got a great relationship with my OB. She delivered my daughter and we just kept like a lot of open communication. You know, I told her like at any given time that I or the babies are, you know, at risk for anything, like, let's pivot, let's switch. And she's like, Okay, I just want to make sure that you're okay with that. because sometimes that stresses out moms, like the idea of pivoting last minute, they'd rather just do the C section. And I was like, no, I'm okay with pivoting. Like I really am. I'm I'm good with just trying this out. And whenever you say, hey, I feel like we need to switch, just do it. Like, let's just do whatever is safest for everybody. so yeah, she's a bit of a risk taker, but also like within reason. And I trusted her. So I feel like that's something that I'm grateful for. I don't know if everybody has that, you know, relationship with their OB. And it's like, really important. So Jess Sittig: Yes. I feel like I had a chat, I think it was with Alexis, and she had a positive C-section experience. I think this is like one of my first, I don't know, like maybe the seventh episode or something. And she was talking about like I love the language she used. She was like, I feel like when you're finding a provider, you need to be able to be like, I could totally have a glass of wine with her. You know? Yes, like that comfort level. Yes, especially it's like. Brie Simmons: Mm-hmm. Yes. Totally. Totally. It's true. You want that relationship. Yeah. Jess Sittig: Giving birth, especially like more of a risky, or I don't even, I don't know if I want to say that word. Like a situation that maybe not everybody does, not as like a vaginal delivery isn't as common with twins, you know? And there are increased risks. Like you have to be so comfortable. And I was so thankful that the doctor I found out here, I had my daughter in a different state. So I had a different doctor. So I love that you had the same doctor. Like what a special experience to have. Brie Simmons: Right, right, right. Okay. Jess Sittig: Her deliver all of your babies, I think that's really special. Brie Simmons: Yes, it was very cool. It was very cool. Like, you know, before we started, like I just remember like us like locking eyes and she was just like, Okay, we're gonna do this and like I got emotional, she got emotional and 'cause I 'cause I I knew it was our last time going through all this. Like we're we're definitely three and done. but Jess Sittig: Yeah. Yeah. Same. Same. Yeah. Feel like twins will do that to you. And you know, we were happy. We were really happy with one. Like I'm an only child and I am. And I just had a really rough postpartum. So she was born in February of 2020. So like COVID hit and there were so many restrictions and I felt so isolated. And it just I had postpartum depression. Like overall it was a Brie Simmons: Yeah. you are, okay. Yeah. Jess Sittig: pretty bad postpartum experience. So I was kind of like, let's just have one. We are fine. And then when she was like had she had just turned two and we both were like, okay, maybe we do this one more time. And we used to always say, for sure one, maybe two, never three, which is just funny. Like, Brie Simmons: Yeah. We said the same thing. That's that's just funny. My husband's an only child and so yeah, so certainly like we both I I had a similar thing, like I postpartum hit me and I didn't even know it was postpartum for like the longest time. I just thought, okay, this is I guess what it is, like you know, just having kids and that's a whole story in itself. Like my my mental health, to be honest with you, like hit rock. Jess Sittig: really? Hm. Brie Simmons: bottom right well a year before I got pregnant with the twins. And I'm actually thankful for that because I had to rebuild myself a bit and really like kind of face some of the the triggers, the trauma, the all the things that I've been suppressing. and I don't know if I wouldn't have worked on all those things and if I wouldn't have hit rock bottom that like I could have even handled twins because that was I think it took me, to be honest with you, and I don't know if you felt the same way, but when I found out I was pregnant with twins, I was borderline depressed for a while. I was really worried. yeah. Jess Sittig: It's a lot. I feel like there were so many times where I was pregnant with them. And it's like hard to even admit this out loud because I can't imagine our our family being any other way. But there were some times where I would say to my husband, like, I I didn't want three kids. I don't know if I was built for this. Like I had some, you know, I had a hard time in the beginning and throughout my daughter's early childhood, like managing one. Brie Simmons: Right. Right. Jess Sittig: So I'm like, how am I gonna go from one to three? And I had a lot of, I had a lot of fear behind that. And I feel like it I would have like a roller coaster of emotions, right? Like there would be times where I was so excited and then times where I would maybe have like a bad day with my daughter and be like, how am I gonna be taking care of her and then two newborns at the same time? Like this is this is wild. I didn't, I didn't, I was afraid of my ability to handle raising three kids, especially three, three very young kids. Brie Simmons: Right. Yeah. Jess Sittig: You know. So Brie Simmons: Yeah, I yeah, I I feel that and I think it's like so validating. The first thing I did when I found out I was pregnant, well, how we found like I had like premonitions that they were twins. I found out I was pregnant at four weeks. and I thought it was odd that the first line on my pregnancy test was like significantly darker than the second one, and I just was like, that's weird. Like I I wonder why that's the case. And then I would like joke with my mom, I'm like Hope it's not twins, like hee hee. And she's like, Yeah. And then I had these vivid dreams that they were twins. And I was listen, I've got OCD. I'm just gonna like go get an early sonogram. Cause I have had miscarriages in the past. And so I know that they would do an early sonno to just rule this twin thing out. Like I just wanna, you know, not be concerned about this. So I went to the appointment by myself and I was just certain that it was not twins. Jess Sittig: wow. Brie Simmons: Hope I mean I feel like I knew. I Yeah, my husband was in a meeting and right before the appointment, my appointment, we were like sitting on our porch and I just was like, I don't know, Ian, I've got this really bad feeling that it's twins. And he's like, Babe, there's no way, it doesn't run in our family, it's fine. And so I just, you know, casually go into the appointment and immediately there's two sacks and like my Sonotech is super quiet. And I'm like, So there's just one, and she's like, Take a deep breath. And I'm like Jess Sittig: Can't believe you went alone. Brie Simmons: my god, what the fuck? Like this is this is this can't the I go, we can't I have to move, I have to get a new car that we can't do this. Like my husband's in full-time architecture school right now and working full-time. And I'm like, I'm like, no, like just no, no, just no. So I come home and Ian's like, so are we pregnant with twins? And I'm like, yeah, actually. Jess Sittig: Like and as a matter of fact, here you go. Here's the imaging. my gosh. Brie Simmons: Yeah, he's like, What? And I'm like, Yeah. So we took off to my family's lake house that weekend and like it was just a very like interesting drive of just like we were both honestly in tears because it's also not what we pictured our life to be. You're also feeling like excited about the fact that you are gonna have a bigger family. Like that somehow like was really exciting to us, even though we it's not what we asked for. So yeah, I can relate to what you're saying in the roller coaster of emotions. It's just very intense when it's not what you necessarily pictured your life to be like. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Well, and I'm just like impressed that you automatically went to planning because I feel like in the sonogram, so I feel like again, I feel like our stories are so similar. I really had a feeling that it was twins also. I just it was so I this is like maybe a TMI, but hello. I like any whoever's listening to the podcast. So Brie Simmons: Amazing. N never with me. Never. Yeah. Jess Sittig: I got my IUD out and like we were okay, like let's try for one more. And I never had a period, like I didn't have a cycle after that. I just got pregnant with the twins, which was so shocking because I I didn't know you had losses. So I had two losses before my daughter. and then found out I had a blood clotting disorder. So with her, I had to take like an injection blood thinner. And I'm so thankful, like obviously that worked and everything was fine. So Brie Simmons: my gosh. Okay. Jess Sittig: Actually, how I found out I was pregnant is I was like, I haven't had a period. This is weird. Like, maybe I should just start taking an ovulation test. So I took an ovulation test and it was immediately like registering that I was ovulating. And I'm like, that doesn't make any sense. Like the timing, I mean, I guess it could have. I don't know. I'm like, this is less it just like sparked to me that something was off. And I remember reading that Brie Simmons: Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Jess Sittig: Sometimes if you're pregnant, it can register a false ovulation test. Like that can show us positive, but really you're pregnant. Does that make sense? So I happened to have a pregnancy test and I took it. And again, same thing, dark pink lines. And I was like, what? Because every time that I had tried to get pregnant and had miscarriages, I was always testing like too early, where I'm like looking at it under the light, like, is there a line? So Brie Simmons: Okay, yes. Yes, yep. Well Yes. Yeah. For a faint line, like Jess Sittig: Yes. Is there a faint line? Like, do I have line eyes? Like this was like a thing trying to get pregnant with my daughter and having losses. So when it was clearly obviously I was pregnant, I was looking at it and I just was like, what in the world? Like what? And I remember at the time, it's now my son's room, which is funny, but our playroom at the time, my husband and my daughter were in there. This is like a weekend. Brie Simmons: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: We're not even trying. I just got my IUD out. Like maybe two weeks, a week and a half before. Like I must have ovulated like the day that they took out the IUD. I don't even know. And then I yes, I walk in with the test to my husband. I'm like, I'm pregnant. And he was like, No, you're not. Let me see the test. And I gave him the test and he was like, my God, because it was like so clearly too pink lime. So I feel you on that. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: And just the shock of everything and Yeah. Brie Simmons: It's yeah, it's just a you really think to yourself it couldn't and I always said like before we I even got pregnant, I I mean my whole life I've said like twins has to be a nightmare. There is no way that I could do it. Like there's no way that I could do it. And it's funny now hearing or being a twin mom, I I don't love hearing that from other people, you know, like better you than me. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Better me than you. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're thank goodness it's me. Yeah, exactly. Thank goodness it's me and not you if you're gonna have that attitude. But I feel like it is hard when you are processing everything and you are processing the life that you or the family size that you thought you were gonna have and then what it's going to be now. And that was something I feel like my husband said this recently. We were talking about like our dining room table and we're already outgrowing. Like we have a table and chair set that only has four chairs. Brie Simmons: Like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: So it worked for a while with high chairs, but now we're kind of getting out of the high chair phase. So I'm like, we need a new table. And he was saying, like, one day, like, isn't it gonna be so awesome? Like when they all have their spouses over and we're gonna need this like gigantic table. And we're just like giggling, and we thought we were only gonna have one kid. And now, we love we love all of the chaos. I cannot imagine my life a different way, but it took us some time and some processing to get there, which I think is just real. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's so real and I think it's so valid. Like that's that's what I was gonna say too on that point. Like when I found out that it was twins and I had some time to process, I reached out to people that I knew. So in Kansas City, there's at least like two other mobs that I know that have a toddler and then pr surprise pregnancy with twins. So like I reached out and I was like, Am I like is it normal to feel just like how am I gonna do this? You know, like Jess Sittig: Hmm. Brie Simmons: The mom guilt with that. Because usually you're just super excited when you're pregnant, or that's been, you know, the if especially if you're trying, like, but when it's just not what she pictured, it's it's a roller coaster of emotions and everybody was like, you need to feel the feels because you're not alone. And I just feel like other twin moms need to hear that. Like you are totally validated. There's times where even now where I'm like, I love both of my boys. I just maybe wish that I had them at different times and so I could focus on like one. Jess Sittig: Yeah. Yeah. Brie Simmons: at a time, but that's not the card that we've been dealt. And to your point, like you get used to the chaos and then you can't imagine it any other way. So Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah. twin moms and I guess twin parents in general have to process things a little bit differently. when my husband and I were making the decision to have another child, like I knew I wanted to be a mom. And I I just didn't know how many kids I wanted to have. And like I said, we were fine with one. So when we were making that decision to have another, one thing that we thought about, of course, is like financial, like, okay. Brie Simmons: Mm-hmm. yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: If we have another kid, the current cars we have are fine, our house is fine. We already have a car seat. We already have a crib. Like we're really not gonna have to make this big money investment because we already have a lot of these baby products. So I feel like when we got pregnant or when we found out it was twins, I was kind of just shocked, even though I had that intuition, I was still processing that my gosh, there are in fact two. And then my husband immediately went to. Brie Simmons: Right. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah, yeah. Jess Sittig: We're gonna need a bigger car. I think our house will work if they share a room, but we're gonna need a bigger car. Okay, now we do need another car seat. We do need another crib, like all these things that we kind of didn't think we were gonna have to invest in. Well, now you do. So there are, yeah, I'm just thinking about like all the different levels of processing. And that is different when like if you were just to have gotten pregnant with another singleton, you know? Brie Simmons: Right. Yeah, there's just logistics. There's it's like, okay, a stroller, how is that gonna work with a toddler? And like there really isn't a great option out there for a toddler and two twins, you know, as far as stroller goes. Like we've got the I think it's the mockingbird and so Nessie, my daughter, has like a little attachment that she could like sit on, but like it's also just like, Okay, she's gonna have to grow up a little bit faster, like she's gonna have to walk more places when we go, you know, it's just Jess Sittig: Yes, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Brie Simmons: Such an adjustment and getting out of the house is completely different with two babies versus one. It's it's wild. Jess Sittig: Yeah. And I feel like on that note, I was gonna ask you like processing everything, when at what point do you think you were like, okay, I'm feeling better about this, even though maybe you still had some fear? Like, was that in your pregnancy or you think that was when you started connecting with other twin moms? when do you think that point was? Brie Simmons: Yeah. I think I think honestly it took me about two to three months to be honest. Like to be like, okay, like I you know, I'm I'm kind of type A, so I just did like a lot of research. I did try to connect with other twin moms, I tried to like YouTube other like podcasts of people talking about having specifically an older kid, like a toddler and then twins, 'cause like that's also a different motherhood is having a toddler. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Brie Simmons: On top of it all. so I feel like that's when I and just kind of going through the logistics, like we didn't need to move. Our house totally works. Like, yes, I needed to get a different car, but that was attainable. You know, there's certain things once I started to check those things off the list, and once Ian and I had more conversations of just how It I mean it it is possible. I feel like it took me about two to three months to to then get over that. And then I found myself honestly just getting excited. I think I was just I think the excitement overweighed the nerves at that point. So Jess Sittig: Yes. Well I think that's normal. I feel like two to three months is actually like relatively short. Brie Simmons: You think? Jess Sittig: Yeah, I think it is because I feel like even towards the end of my pregnancy, once it was becoming like quote unquote real and they were going to arrive soon, I feel like I started feeling some like panicky emotions again. So I feel like for me too, doing research was like a big thing. And I feel like I exhausted and like utilized every podcast about twins that existed. Like I listened to every episode and so many things like it wasn't updated, or I found this one podcast that I don't think was updated often. So they would have Brie Simmons: Yes. Yeah. Jess Sittig: like a re-release of an old episode. I'm like, I already listened to that episode. And I was just like craving more information. And I feel like connecting with other twin moms who like I connected with this one twin mom. She was actually on the podcast, but I met her through a friend. She didn't even live near me, but one of my friends was like, my gosh, I have a friend from high school who has twins. So she connected us and she had had a vaginal delivery. Brie Simmons: Right. Yeah. Jess Sittig: I wanted to hear those positive stories to know it was possible because I feel like there wasn't a lot of information out there. And I feel like there's more information now. And I feel like there's actually a lot of really good Instagram accounts. Do you follow? what is her last name? Her first name's Courtney. Courtney Brensen. Brenson. I'll have to tag you in some of her stuff. twins are probably a little older. Brie Simmons: Yes. There are I might. Jess Sittig: than yours because yeah, I think they're walking. So she has a toddler first and then twin girls. And she is a twin. So I feel like a lot of her, yeah, I feel like she has a really interesting perspective being a twin. And then she has the same setup that we do with a toddler first and then twins. So Brie Simmons: Okay. Okay. wild. Okay, actually I think I might know d is she blonde by chance. Okay. Okay, 'cause I follow somebody else. Yeah, I follow somebody else that also has she's a twin and then she's got an older boy and then twin girls. But yes, I I tried to like there was other people too that were like, I know somebody that has a toddler and twins and like connected and like if I look back at our text messages, like it's just like endless amounts of voice text, like Jess Sittig: No, she has like dark hair. I'll ta I'll tag you. Brie Simmons: And a lot of it is just like, Okay, am I gonna get through this? Okay, this is normal, this is what I did and okay, you're not alone, like, you know, we're in this together and it does pass and you know, all the things, but yeah. Jess Sittig: Yes. Yeah. Yeah, and it's so nice because Brie Simmons: all the things. Jess Sittig: I was relying on twin moms when I was pregnant and like in the early stages. And then it felt so good to be able to do that. Like someone would reach out to me and be like, hey, my cousin's pregnant. I'm like, please give them my number. I would love to talk to them and give them encouragement and just like have honest chats with them. So I think that's the really cool thing about like the twin mom community. I feel like everyone wants to the most people want to like encourage everybody, you know? Brie Simmons: Yes, yeah. Yes, y Yeah. Yeah. And we're in this together type thing. And yeah. And 'cause that's another thing, like on the relationship side, like you can't you can't imagine how like one baby stretches your your relationship then with your partner. Like three little babies, two newborns at once, like you can have the healthiest relationship. It's gonna stretch you then. Like it's it's going to test like everything. all at once. And that's a whole other layer to adapting as a new family. And 'cause like suddenly like it's like we you know, Ian and I talked like we can hardly have a conversation together. Cause the second we start talking, the toddler's losing or the babies are losing it. And we laugh. We're like, okay, we'll we'll talk at bedtime for, you know, the hour the hour that we have. But sometimes we just want to lay in bed and stay silent because what the heck happened today? So Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yes. Mm-hmm. Totally. And that's like another reason that I'm so grateful I had a singleton first because I feel like David and I I feel like we really struggled through that. It was a weird time. It was COVID. I feel like it just was a stressful time. And then I was struggling with postpartum depression. And we really bumped heads a lot and kind of worked through that and were able to like strengthen our relationship. But we Brie Simmons: Yeah. Jess Sittig: really butted heads. And I don't think we were working as like the best team. And, you know, he worked a lot and I was alone a lot. And I think I had, you know, looking back at that, I think I had some resentment about that, which isn't necessarily fair. Like he was, it wasn't like he was out partying. He was working, you know. so I'm glad we were able to kind of like work through that and be better communicators. And of course we still struggled with the three of Brie Simmons: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right. Jess Sittig: the having all three, but I feel like we we were like, okay, we've done this before. We're better communicators now. And I do think going from zero to one was harder on us than going from one to three. Brie Simmons: Yeah, it i totally. It was us too. I I mean I we had a similar experience too. And I just feel like when you've got like it's such a special bond when you're with your high school sweetheart. I mean, it is, it's like a very special bond. At the same time, you have all this history together, your best friends. And so sometimes Ian and I joke like we almost like bicker and argue like we did, or like like kids because we've been together since we were kids. So Jess Sittig: Yes, yeah. Brie Simmons: yeah, and I think that that's a total normal dynamic to have like when your husband's working and if you're the one that's with the kids like during the day and you're the default parent. I mean, I just think that there is like natural resentment that happens. And I think it's just to your point about communicating and 'cause everybody's working, it's just a it's just different. Jess Sittig: Yeah. Brie Simmons: It's just everybody's pulling their weight a different way. Jess Sittig: Yeah, absolutely. And that's like a big thing that we talk about is like, you know, a stay-at-home mom might not have she might not be bringing in financial resources, but she is helping in so many other ways, you know? And it's have you seen that? Like the cost of a stay-at-home mom, and it's like she's the the care provider, like the child care, the house cleaner, the chef, and it's like how much she's actually like quote unquote saving your family. So Brie Simmons: Right. Yeah. Yes. Jess Sittig: I feel like we both Brie Simmons: Yeah. Jess Sittig: very much try to look at it that way. And I feel like I I've gotten so much better about and maybe this is like from having three kids or age maturity, but instead of him saying something and it like rub me the wrong way, and then I'll just be rude for an hour. I will try, I'm not great, but I will try to immediately be like, that sounded kind of rude to me? And then he'll be like, it did. And a lot of the times he's like, I didn't mean it like that. And I'm like, okay, could you say it to me in in a nice tone? And he was like, I thought I was being nice, but I'm like, it didn't need to turn into this hour thing where I'm like giving him him the silent treatment instead of just being like, is something wrong? Or because I that sounded rude to me. And most of the time he was like, I I don't even know what you're talking about, Jess. Yeah, exactly. So I'm like, okay, well, at least we can like shake it off and move on. And I don't think that you're like, Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Totally. Had no idea. Yes, yeah. Jess Sittig: actually mad or something. Brie Simmons: Right. And it's just yeah, it's it's a whole it's learning how to communicate. And one thing that Ian and I learn in therapy too is like checking it. So we process things completely different. like most re people in relationships do. And like I kind of want to like resolve the issue like kind of right then and there, whereas like Ian needs like to table it and like revisit. And so we've talked a lot about like having like emotional Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Brie Simmons: just like emotional reassurance of like, hey, can we can we talk about this right now or do you need some time? and so yeah, but Ian also works from home three day three days out of the week, which is kind of an inter interesting Jess Sittig: Mm, yeah. Brie Simmons: balance because he's home and so I'm like, hey, can you hold the bo or can you feed one of the kids while I go do this? And he's like, I I mean, yeah, yeah, I can. Like I can't I would never like say no, but like I have work to do. So he's we're figuring that out. Like he's because he is around three days out of the week, but he's working in the home office. and then it's hard for him like when he hears the boys losing it to like not step in and it's just it's a lot. He'll he'll be done with school too. So he's getting his master in architecture on top of working full time. So yeah, we've just, it's a lot. Yeah. It's a lot. But it's temporary, you know, like it's a three-year program. He's got a year left. So again, it's just like perspective and it's just I was talking about my mom with this yesterday. Like, I'm a I'm a pretty positive person. Like I'm very optimistic, but like it's okay to like have a space. Jess Sittig: that's awesome. Mm. That's a lot though. Yeah. Brie Simmons: to just know like this is just hard and like it's not as fun sometimes. Like and that's okay. Like I always have rosy colored glasses, but it's and I think it's good to be like that. But I also think that there's like two things can be true. You can be happy and you can also be like, my gosh, this is like really heavy all at once. Jess Sittig: Mm. Totally. I wanted to say that earlier. Like I I love that quote. two things can be true at the same time. You can love being a mom, love your children so much, and also be like, this is hard, because it is hard. And that's okay to feel both of those things at the same time. Brie Simmons: Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes, it doesn't mean that, you know, you don't love your kids or you don't love the life that you have. It's just it is what it is. And I think that it took me having the twins to to realize that. Like it's just it is hard. Like this is not something that like everybody can relate to because it's it's true just having like Irish tr twins are saying like, I had two under two, so I basically had twins. And that that definitely I'm not like, you know, not acknowledging that like that is hard. but having multiples is just a different type of hard. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's just different. Like I don't know what it's like to have two under two, but I know what it's like to have three under three. And it is really hard. So but I promise it gets easier. Brie Simmons: Right. That's just crazy that you're Yeah, I'm holding on to that. I really am. Cause I'm I'm definitely very much so it's funny when you reached out to me to schedule the podcast, it was pretty shortly after I had the twins and I was like, my gosh, like I'm gonna be like I'm gonna have this under my belt by then. Like this is like it's gonna be good. And like yesterday I'm like crying. To my husband as we're eating like no noodles and company in the kitchen, and I'm like, I have my noise canceling headphones on because the boys are screaming and I've just had like such a bad day. And I'm like, How am I supposed to do this podcast tomorrow? Because like I'm I'm struggling and he's like, But babe, this is it. Like this is the realness of it. Like, and Jess is gonna, you know, acknowledge that like she's been there too. So it is what it is. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Well, okay, so my daughter is almost six and a half, and you know, the boys turned three yesterday. And I just promise it gets easier. Like you haven't even reached the point yet where like all three of your kids are playing together. It's like it's hard. I I don't think parenting ever gets easy, right? I think it gets more manageable and like things change. Like you're I don't know how well you're sleeping right now. Like I know I wasn't sleeping great. Brie Simmons: Wild. No. Yeah. Not well. Jess Sittig: I wasn't sleeping great when my boys were five months old. Like we were up all the time, like pumping, bottle feeding, changing diapers. It just so I was so tired. And I think that you can handle a lot of things when you've slept better and not having like this uninterrupted sleep. So I think that's just one thing. And then I feel like I guess your boys are kind of like getting out of the newborn phase, but they are still infants. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Jess Sittig: And I feel like with infants, you give a lot more than you are receiving. Like even with your toddler, like even when there's like hard moments and they're having tantrums, like their personalities are shining and you have all of these like positive interactions with them. And hopefully the positive interactions are outweighing those like really hard ones. Where I feel like with infants, it's just like you're giving and giving so much. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jess Sittig: In that age, which is so normal, but you're not getting a lot back. And that is just tiring and hard. And it gets better. And I promise when they all play together, of course, like my kids all fight too. But like so, like that's something that we're managing, you know. But when they all play together, my gosh, it's the sweetest thing ever. It's it's it's so it's so good. So I promise it gets. Brie Simmons: Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Jess Sittig: more manageable and I really feel like the first year it you're just like really in the thick of it. So I just appreciate you taking time to come chat with me and like it it's it feels hard because it is hard, you know? Brie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that is that is so true. And that's something just to like acknowledge and like ti like to your point there are five months and I think about it and I'm like, my gosh, like they're almost half of a year. Like so and I know that after you after the first year it gets better. It just sometimes feels like time goes by so slow when you're not getting sleep and still trying to learn, you know, even though they're twins are completely different people, just like your twins and just like everybody else's twins. They're just Jess Sittig: Uh-huh. Yeah. Brie Simmons: Y they are two completely different humans with different needs and all the things. But yeah, thanks for having me. I feel like we could talk all day. Jess Sittig: I know for sure. Okay, so we're almost at the hour mark. Brie Simmons: I feel like we talked about a lot of the things that that were like true to to my story. I think I wanted to hit on like it's okay to rest and just like validate that. Like when you're carrying two babies at once, like just existing is is enough. coming from somebody who just like has a lot of like guilt. And I also find a lot of joy in like, you know, being active, but I feel like I had to switch my perspective and like my lifestyle to like a slower lifestyle, it which was Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Brie Simmons: hard for me. So I just wanted to encourage other moms, like it's okay to slow down. And that rest, prioritizing rest is is working too. it's hard to do sometimes when you're such a go, go, go person. I wanted to hit on like the relationship part because that was just like really real for us. Like just navigating the the woes of responsibilities and everybody's working differently. But Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Brie Simmons: still together and all of that. Jess Sittig: first of all, the stuff you can cover in one hour. It always impresses me. things you can talk about. And then two, like how many more episodes we could have. I'm like, my gosh, we could have a whole episode about like we didn't even really get to talk about your losses. You know, like we could have a whole about that. We could have a whole episode about postpartum depression. We could have a whole, you we could we could talk forever, so if you could have a heart to heart with a twin mom or give her a piece of advice, what would you tell her? Brie Simmons: man, I would just hopefully I could give her a big hug and just tell her that it's all gonna be okay. And truly, truly the joy does outweigh everything else. Like I am in constant awe of these two boys that I grew and am gonna continue to grow with myself and Jess Sittig: Mm. Brie Simmons: similar to you, like we didn't picture this big family of ours and we have it and I I honestly feel I went from feeling like, my gosh, why me to like I'm really happy that this is this is me. Like this is a part of this is a part of like my my story here in this lifetime Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Brie Simmons: and Yeah, I just I can't wait to get to know my kids and all their different quirks and what they're interested in and the places that they'll go and they'll take us. And yeah, I I look I look around at our life and like in our house and I think like how full is is this and crazy, but also I'm glad that this is our life. So I would just give her a hug and tell her that it's gonna be way more joyful than you could ever imagine. Jess Sittig: Hmm. So true. And like I said, I feel like we have a lot of similarities around our story. And I just couldn't agree more about that. This is not what I pictured. And now that I have it, I just can't imagine my life any other way. So Brie Simmons: It's it's somebody that I talked to when I found out that I was having twin shoe is just like, you know, you're one of the chosen ones. Like the universe like, you know, chose you to be a twin mom and that like not everybody can do this, but you can. And that was powerful to me, so Jess Sittig: Hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love that. Hmm. Well, thank you so much. I know, like we were saying, like you're just really in the thick of it and your boys are only five months old. And I just really appreciate you taking the time out to come chat with me. So thank you so much, Brie. And if people want to connect with you, can you share like your socials or if you if you want to do that? Brie Simmons: I know. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, so it's just at Bree Simmons, my first and last name, and I'm constantly sharing all the realness of of everything, the the good and bad, and trying to connect with other people too. So thank you for having me on. Jess Sittig: Yes, of course. Thank you so much, girl. Jessielee Sittig: Thank you for taking the time out of your busy twin mom life to listen along. I hope this podcast shed some light on a topic that's been on your heart and gave you more confidence as a twin mama. If you know a twin mom, please send this her way. If you like what you heard today, please subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. Check out the show notes to be connected with today's guest and get discount codes for brands I love. See you next Thursday. Until then. You are made for this.