Latest / Dam Internet, You Scary! / 361: Greg Wayans on Scary Movie, Hollywood Grind & Hilarious Internet Stories on DIYS

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361: Greg Wayans on Scary Movie, Hollywood Grind & Hilarious Internet Stories on DIYS · Dam Internet, You Scary!

• 00:00:03:19 - 00:00:30:21 Unknown You scary. Ladies and gentlemen. I'm to hear more about your club. And this is another episode of Damn Internet. You scary here. We got a very special guest today. You know what I'm saying? You might be able to tell it resembles some of our past guests before, but we have Mr. Greg Wayne's from the illustrious Wayne's family. Amazing. 00:00:30:23 - 00:00:55:01 Unknown I wouldn't say content creator because you act, but you also write. You write to you. I've tried. I feel like everybody in the family has dabbled with something. What is your passion when it comes to entertainment? Performing, really? Yeah. I consider myself a creative. Like, I can't write, but I try. Yeah, right. We all have ideas. I come up with ideas, I got em down. 00:00:55:01 - 00:01:18:13 Unknown And then I try to, like, you know, I put together, like, a pitch deck for that project. But as far as, like, developing it and writing dialog, I would like someone who's actually good at that to do that, but I love being in front of the camera. You are Craig's brother. Yeah, but you have a very strong resemblance to Keenan. 00:01:18:14 - 00:01:41:12 Unknown I feel like. Do you get that a lot? Yeah, but oddly enough, if you are online, you see, I get all of this. Yeah. I'm I'm I'm all in one of the said shot. Yeah, I can be any of them, depending on how I have my hair or facial. Yes. And that's a real thing. I've looked at photos myself and been like, God damn, this shit is crazy. 00:01:41:13 - 00:02:07:13 Unknown Have you ever tried to capitalize on that? Like, you know, I could be everybody standing. Well, I have been everybody standing. That's what I was doing for years. Dude, I was I was standing in and body double. But, yeah, it's not really much to capitalize. Yeah, yeah. I mean, funds is dry, but. Yeah. What's the total number of wins? 00:02:07:14 - 00:02:31:00 Unknown I was thinking that too. Look, that was in my line. What did we. I honestly don't know because they keep fucking. Yeah. I don't know, man. I have hella cousins, I got helicopters, I'm probably the only one with one kid. Oh, really? Yeah. Everybody else I feel like, got at least three fold. You know. Do you think that's like, a silent rule of, like, right of passage in the family? 00:02:31:00 - 00:02:52:21 Unknown Because, like, I was like you just said, so many of them have multiple kids. Is that to keep the lineage strong, the family name going on to burn on lineage generation of the next. Producers. Directors. Writers, actors. Comedians. Is that. Or is it just like you guys always had such a strong family foundation? It's just like you. That's what you do. 00:02:53:02 - 00:03:15:08 Unknown I think niggas like fucking. I don't think it has anything to do with any of that. People like having sex and some of us like shooting up the club when we in there, but I think everybody's like has no problem adding to, you know, we there's not many bad apples in the family. It was like, why not bring some more of them in? 00:03:15:09 - 00:03:41:01 Unknown Let's, let's let's get pregnant. Do you do stand up. I've done like officially I've done stand up one time and I'm going to tell you why. First of all, I love it. And I do feel like that's where I will gravitate to. I mean, it's taken so long to make money in acting that I know you don't make much and stand up until you actually get to a certain level, but I mean, shit, at this point I might as well. 00:03:41:01 - 00:04:03:17 Unknown But I will say it, most people, it takes a while to get to a certain point. You kind of got a leg up, though, and not saying that like comedy is one of those things where the chops have to be there, the timing has to be there, the funny has to be there, right? But if you got that, you can you can, you know, obviously strengthen that and sharpen that to become one of the greats. 00:04:03:17 - 00:04:26:21 Unknown But, you know, the name definitely helps when getting into clubs I would imagine are trying. I think all the name does is kind of like make people think twice about you. That's it really. It does not lead to any work. Honestly, I think more than the name me looking like them is probably more of a benefit than the name. 00:04:26:22 - 00:04:44:09 Unknown But yeah, I think people look at the name twice instead of just scrolling. Yeah, but you at the end of the day, bro, you just have to be good at something. Yeah. They don't they don't get fuck about the name if you're not actually. Look at my my own family. They don't care that I got the name you. 00:04:44:10 - 00:05:04:13 Unknown You have to be better than who you're up against. Like, if you can't, it's a business. And it's no different with family. And I think it's the same thing with stand up. Like, I just think you just have to be good. Like, I definitely didn't go the Damon junior route where he was going by Kyle Green until he got to a certain point because he didn't want people knowing he was away with him. 00:05:04:16 - 00:05:23:16 Unknown You just look at the. But no, when I did it, I was like, no, I just it's Greg Wayans. Whatever they think, they think. But dude, this is how it went. Marlon had a sold out show in Ontario. I was living in Rancho Cucamonga at the time. I came to watch him. I was in the green room with DC and them. 00:05:23:17 - 00:05:44:20 Unknown Yeah, bro. Literally, I think I think DC was out there warming up and then he was like, you going on stage at night? I was like, what are you. I'm not a comedian yet. What do you mean? Like, I have jokes, like in my notepad, but, bro, like, I wasn't hitting open mics or nothing. Nothing. Yeah. So he once he said it like three times, I'm like, okay, this thing is really good. 00:05:44:21 - 00:06:04:17 Unknown He's he's really serious about it. So I just started just like preparing myself mentally, even though he said five minutes. I know how long that feels when you're not used to the stage. So I went out. It was a Friday night, sold out on improv, and I did five minutes. I got a bunch of laughs that felt great. 00:06:04:17 - 00:06:28:06 Unknown I did it again Saturday. I did another five minutes. Sunday Sunday show was hard. Yeah, that Sunday show was different. Yeah, we always say that the energy because Friday and Saturday are usually the the the club goers who will travel a little further to get there. They'll do an hour, hour and a half that's in traffic. They're excited about being it's the weekend. 00:06:28:07 - 00:06:45:06 Unknown Yeah. Sunday's the night before going back to school, going back to work, all that type of stuff because those are usually the locals. The longest is sometimes they don't give a fuck. Yeah, I had I had a free night. So I'm here my fucking do your job. It's two things happened. Yes, it was a Sunday. And here's one thing. 00:06:45:06 - 00:07:03:03 Unknown And that's what I tell my uncle like and why I had reservations about going out there. It's not that I don't think I'm funny. I do think I'm funny. And I did feel like I was going to get laughs, but it wasn't prepared. Like I didn't know how I should deliver which joke. Like there was no cadence to it. 00:07:03:03 - 00:07:20:21 Unknown There was a lot of, yeah, what should I say? Nothing like that. Yeah, I didn't want that because I know people paid their money. Yeah, they came to see Marlon. They like. We know it's a bunch of y'all. Who is this nigga? Yeah. So I have that in my head when he says stuff like, you know, you got to get up there. 00:07:20:22 - 00:07:37:22 Unknown Don't ever pass on an opportunity like this. I get you, I'm going to go out there, but I. You're try to fuck up. I feel bad because I am a perfectionist, like, I don't I don't want to show anything to anybody that I haven't worked on. Yeah. But. So Sunday. So the first two nights I did say the same jokes. 00:07:38:00 - 00:07:58:12 Unknown Okay. Let me see how the audience reacts to it. This night, Sunday, I thought that my girl at the time was coming because she said she was coming. One of the jokes was about my stepdaughter at the time and it got a big laugh, but I knew I couldn't say that shit. She was there. So I was just like having this notepad. 00:07:58:12 - 00:08:15:21 Unknown And I decided to switch it up. And I think that feeling like I bombed because it didn't get as big as laughs. And then I had people right there by the stage just being hella loud. And why don't they deliver the food right when you oh well mean? That's what I don't like about comedy clubs. You think you going? 00:08:15:22 - 00:08:34:00 Unknown You're either going to get it delivered while you're on stage, or they're going to be paying checks while you're on stage. Somebody's going to get it. Damn. Yeah. Sunday was it wasn't it wasn't the best. You were there that day. That weekend. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm just remembering as you're talking. You were there Sunday. I don't remember what if you laughed? 00:08:34:00 - 00:08:37:09 Unknown You weren't there Sunday. 00:08:37:11 - 00:08:58:05 Unknown Man, I feel like this is our first time really? Meeting in person. No, I met this. Niggas don't know me. I met you in person one time. I think it was at Sydney's party a couple of years ago. Downtown Castiel. I know Sydney, I'm talking to party. He was there. We had a party for him. Damn. I think it was like two years ago. 00:08:58:05 - 00:09:19:05 Unknown And then I think I thought I met you. Add one might have been the Add more than anything, but I don't understand. That was. That was a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was that that was that was definitely years ago. But I will say and this is, this is, this is just a testament, I think, to how great your family, the lineage and the way they approach entertainment is. 00:09:19:06 - 00:09:57:07 Unknown I've met people who, you know are benefits of nepotism, and they don't have the wherewithal and the respect for the craft that I've heard you display and highlight doing this conversation, he was like, you know, regardless of name, I still want to be good. I know people pay their money and like just thinking like that, as someone that comes from such a rich background, family that is in entertainment and can just, you know, throw their name around and stuff like that, it's refreshing to hear that you care about not just the art, but people spending their money, being appreciative of it, understanding that, you know, they they might have worked the job. 00:09:57:07 - 00:10:14:05 Unknown They hate to be able to spend the money to come support this movie, the show, whatever. So I think that's super dope, man. I just want to congratulate you on that because that's that's I met people who were like, oh, you're fucking I'm going up there. I feel like a lot of rappers like that, especially the newer rappers, like just go up there and say, whatever, I'm getting to move right now. 00:10:14:05 - 00:10:34:01 Unknown I'm, I'm freestyling. You know, I always think about Dexter. You remember him? Famous sticks. Yeah, yeah. And I remember him talking about, like, one of my homies was telling me about him was like, I don't get what he said. I care more about the ad libs. That's crazy. That's fucking. And especially if you're a rapper thinking like that, like, forget this verse. 00:10:34:02 - 00:10:47:13 Unknown What am I going to say in the back? But I also understand that, like the ad are sometimes I remember when 21 Savage first came out and Brandon Lewis is telling me I didn't go for the pop hits adlibs, be crazy. I was like, what about his quote? He's like, nigga, but the Atlas is. So the way he'd be saying 21. 00:10:47:13 - 00:11:07:22 Unknown Yeah, 2121 he's like, man, that 21 go crazy. I was like, but he knew me go suit. But Migos, I feel like and not in the thing against to one of us. I've grown to like him as an artist and as a person for the most part. But I will say initially it had to grow him because all I heard was a 2120 like it was in every verse of every song that he have had. 00:11:07:23 - 00:11:33:22 Unknown And now I see the work ethic starting to catch up with, you know, the the way he blew up so fast. So, you know, back to what you said before we got into like the ad lib part, first of all, feels good that I was able to refresh you. Yeah, but it's chill as hell. Yeah. It's not it's not like a it's not like a nepotism thing or it's not even anything like from my family. 00:11:34:04 - 00:12:03:03 Unknown This will people have to understand. Erased. Just erased the family for a second to make it in this industry in any capacity. You have to like develop work ethic. And then you have to, like, become an observer. And every time you're on a set or in a meeting or whatever, even if you're visiting, you gotta pay attention to like, how shit is ran and like, how are these people getting these jobs? 00:12:03:04 - 00:12:28:13 Unknown Nobody seems to know that. I've been auditioning for 16 years. I done done projects that are laughable, you know, ultra low budget, modified, low budget, glad when Michigan all sorts of stuff that had nothing to do with my family because there was nothing else. I had to learn how to become a professional and how to, like, get work. 00:12:28:13 - 00:12:50:05 Unknown And the people that you're talking about. If you don't learn how to be a professional, you're never going to get to where you want to be. I hear I hear some comedians and people talking on podcasts, and it's like I feel sad for them because they they just don't get it, I could tell. Yeah. Because there's no age that you reach. 00:12:50:06 - 00:13:13:18 Unknown Come on, talk about it, man. There's no age that you reach maturity. But you have to, at some point, look in the mirror and realize like, damn, there's a reason why X, Y, and Z isn't happening for me. And it's not like a talent thing. You could be talented, but like, I don't want to say this nigga's name, but like like like like, right. 00:13:13:20 - 00:13:38:05 Unknown Great example. Okay, dude, I know this. I'm not gonna get in debt with him. Dude has made me laugh over the years from stuff that he's done. But there's a difference between stand up comedy and TV acting or film acting. Commercial acting. There's there's different types of TV acting in itself. There's multicam, there's camp. If you don't identify that shit. 00:13:38:06 - 00:14:09:06 Unknown Over the years, through studying and observation, you bro, you you can't just do whatever you want when somebody books you on something. Yeah, I remember I was shooting something and there was a comedian and first take he just like riffed and did his own thing. And the director yelled cut like, nigga, that's all you have to write. You have to do by the script for at least five takes until we got it in the then you can play, right? 00:14:09:06 - 00:14:29:14 Unknown But people don't pick up on that. Why I brought up areas is because I heard them say something about my Uncle Shawn all about that myself. But it's like I know that my family has given him opportunities. And he was talking about when he was on set, you know, Shawn was acting like this, that and whatever. When you're on set, let's just give an example for a multi-cam. 00:14:29:15 - 00:14:53:09 Unknown You got the these director chairs where the producers and the showrunner, the director, they're all sitting there with the with the monitors right there. Yeah. You're if you're not a part, you're not supposed to go talk to them. No. And they're not expecting you to come up. There's there's tears. You know, there's departments for a reason. If you're it's a reason why the ad is talking to you, not to direct it. 00:14:53:10 - 00:15:13:08 Unknown Yes. The directors focus on this. So you're going over there, try to communicate well, converse with them. Taking them out of the zone is like, go over there and go over your lines. Yeah. So you don't rip the first take again. Yes. And people don't I don't know man. People have how they feel inside of how they believe things should go and how people should interact with them. 00:15:13:08 - 00:15:31:21 Unknown But you're not always going to get what you want. Learn the setting, understand how it's supposed to go. Learn how to be professional. It's too many people out here that they have no professionalism. Y'all. It's so many, y'all. And each one of y'all are so different and it's so dope because you sometimes you meet people in their friends or family members. 00:15:31:21 - 00:15:44:21 Unknown They all kind of like have the same type of demeanor, tone or just energy. But you're so you're so different from your brother. Yeah. Like, yeah, very different grandmother. 00:15:44:23 - 00:15:58:02 Unknown He's a wildly. Yes. Yes. He's trying to get me go to. Was it real? Where are they going this summer. Is it Brazil or I don't know, I never get invited. Oh, yeah. You only got one real in that few. You. You only got one daughter. That's what it is. They need me because they got three. They know they're going to party. 00:15:58:03 - 00:16:23:15 Unknown Yeah. You're responsible. I don't know where are they going, but I'm sure I won't be there. But I love hearing that you have that mindset because that's such an important thing. Regardless of, like you said, the last name. And it's like, yes, you have the name, but if you know the family or the empire is not shooting something at that time, or they're not producers or they're not invested in this project, you know, what do they have to throw you in? 00:16:23:16 - 00:16:45:04 Unknown So you have to go about it with that mindset. Let me be good at this. Like I've been in acting for over ten years now, but I just started like viewing stuff that I watched from the eye of a director or something, like, man, that was one long shot. I didn't even realize that before. What was I watching? 00:16:45:06 - 00:17:02:11 Unknown Maybe three billboards, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, and some other show. And I was like, they got some real. I love that movie. It's such a fucking great. What is it called, Three Billboards Out of Ebbing, Missouri, because it just got you into streaming talking. I didn't know that was the title. Went on another whole stream of consciousness. 00:17:02:12 - 00:17:27:04 Unknown No, it's such a fucking good movie. I have to write that down because Rebuild Boys Out of Ebbing, Missouri and The Hunt, and there's a lot of things that just came back to streaming. But like looking at that, it's opened my eyes to like, man, I really like the cinematography on that. And there's something that I could always appreciate before but never really, like, really observed and like took notice of like, oh shit, that was one. 00:17:27:09 - 00:17:50:19 Unknown You don't even see it. Yeah. Because you're, you're so involved as just a moviegoer or a watcher you locked into you're locked in. But like once you start appreciating different levels like, oh, I really I really connect with this, this with camera work. I really connected with the directing. I really connected whatever. Like, Pat's a great director. I'm like just now starting to get in there because like you, I was like, I can't write, but I feel like I'm not the best of it. 00:17:50:19 - 00:18:08:17 Unknown So I was like, what else can I do outside of being on screen talent? So I think that's super dope that you already, but you always have been thinking like that. Let's talk about these holes though. What's the name like? What's the like on a scale of 1 to 10, where does the rank look wise? Just on name alone. 00:18:08:17 - 00:18:26:19 Unknown Like, can you just walk in dick in hand, but like, hey, I'm Greg Wayne and like, does it have to be fully erect for them to like, fuck with it? Can you be like, like a chubby? Can you be like, this is what I'm even after this. Listen, first of all, I'm about to tread very lightly. 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I'm I'm very much still in my struggling actor grind bro like I so it does catch me off guard sometimes like when it comes to women. But it's bro. It's just me. That's one thing I can say confidently, because I know what my reality is. 00:21:33:05 - 00:21:54:04 Unknown They just fuck with me. Yeah, they think I'm handsome. They fuck with my my personality and the fact that I'm not chasing none of them. Yeah, like I will. If I see something that's attractive, I will try to make eye contact. And that's pretty much the extent of what I'm going to do. You got no follow that. That's your flirt I got that. 00:21:54:06 - 00:22:12:00 Unknown That's the safest way to do it. Now that's my way to like, show that you some intrigue there because I don't I can't do I'm not going to press you. I'm not going to corner you and make sure you can't move to the left, it or right and keep you here. So, no, I'm not doing none of that. 00:22:12:01 - 00:22:35:18 Unknown Yeah, I feel, but as far as the the types, I think there's all types that are attracted to me. But I'm, I'm not in that season right now. So you're not you're not a fish. You're not casting at net and seeing how many. I honestly don't care. I hope everybody that's watching this understand that, like I really want to be successful. 00:22:35:19 - 00:22:56:18 Unknown Yeah. Like when you've been auditioning for as long as I have. And just like being outside of bullying to get to where you're trying to get to, like, I've been in relationships, like I've been with super attractive women and I'm not pushing them away, but I'm not looking like I'm I just want to be a working actor. I feel it's my goal. 00:22:57:00 - 00:23:15:02 Unknown Working actor do as much as I can do for my daughter and whatever falls into my lap on that journey, I'll take it. But I'm she's going to love that here. Just like looking for hoes or what? No man, I'm not doing none of that shit I knew. Lady don't care. Your new lady's going to see this, this interview. 00:23:15:02 - 00:23:23:08 Unknown And she was like, so I'm just something that just fell into your lap. That would be like, that's that. Yeah. 00:23:23:10 - 00:23:45:17 Unknown Yeah. Because I'm, I'm really not. And I think any of them can attest to that. Anyone that you speak to like I'm, I'm not looking like it just be happening. And if I feel like, you know what this is, it's probably not the best time. This just happened to me last year is probably not the best time. But what if it's a good thing I'm not going. 00:23:45:22 - 00:24:04:18 Unknown Let's see where it goes. Yeah, that's that's my mentality. That sounds like kind of like you. You gotta move with that. I was I was just I was listening, I was like I was talking backs as niggas would be besties for real. Like, I don't have the same person. Me, I'm very naive. I miss a lot of shit, like when I flirt, but I don't have a lot to follow through. 00:24:04:20 - 00:24:20:20 Unknown And I also am naive when somebody else is playing with me like. But I always leave with just funny. So I don't know if they're laughing because they like me, or they're laughing because they want to holler, but I missed so much. My, my, my old lady has told me she was like, you left a lot of coochie on the table. 00:24:20:23 - 00:24:35:21 Unknown I can tell because you just be missing science and I do. I like because I never put you on the table. Yeah, she she was like, you left a lot on. I know you did, because I don't be. I don't be looking at it like I never thought that I was like the super like, yeah, fine, suave type shit. 00:24:35:22 - 00:24:55:22 Unknown I'd just be making jokes and cracking jokes. And so, like, if a chick cracking jokes back, I think she's funny. I don't think she's flirting, but that is a superpower. It really is. That's what. That's what men need to understand who actually are funny. Like bro. Women want somebody that's funny. It's way too many dudes out here who, yeah, they may have money or status or whatever. 00:24:55:23 - 00:25:17:13 Unknown Boring as hell. They're either corny as hell or it's like, bro, like you're really just a this is just a transactional thing. You may not know it or you may know it and whatever you that's just how you move. But bro, you're corny and that's why, yeah, it's entertaining all these other dudes because you're not really the ideal type. 00:25:17:14 - 00:25:35:01 Unknown You just just support it. Got what they need. Tough dudes only like useful in situations that you need to be tough in, you know what I'm saying? And money motherfuckers are only useful in situations that you need to have money. Like if you go into a restaurant or you want to go shopping and shit like that. But if you want to just chill day around the house, hey, I'm gonna cook. 00:25:35:01 - 00:25:49:14 Unknown I'm gonna come over and play some music to watch some movies. I'm not fucking my money. And a tough guy. You guys are useless. But funny guys, we're we're killing in all of those things. We need to be tough. All right, I'm gonna talk about this motherfucker so bad. You want to fight, right? And he going to get kicked out the club. 00:25:49:15 - 00:26:05:23 Unknown We have the restaurant. $60 for some free. From now, anybody's left. We're having a great time. Right? You know, I don't. $60. Let's give it a dollar. Fries. Still winning. And then at the house on some shit like that. That's that's what funny guys thrive. We out here killing you tough niggas, you gonna end up in jail. More tough niggas. 00:26:05:23 - 00:26:31:02 Unknown And now y'all got out tougher each other. As to who gonna fuck the key to really getting. I feel like the key to really getting, like, attractive women who they've been there, done that with the dudes with money is actually caring about what they're talking about. Like that. To me, that's like the key because we we genuinely don't care when you're just a dude who's just out there trying to get some pussy. 00:26:31:06 - 00:26:56:20 Unknown We don't care what you're talking about at all. It's just like, can we fast forward to the, you know, you get we laugh, but we don't care. When I think women really appreciate when they can tell that a dude actually cares about what they talk about. Yeah, they actually invested in them and what they want to do. All they care about that most niggas is just, you know, they're just putting on to get what they want and absolutely. 00:26:56:21 - 00:27:17:10 Unknown And that's it. I don't move like that. Y'all ever, like, Ask like a woman. Some of like her horror stories on dates just to see what other niggas is throwing out there. I've never heard something. I just honestly, I've changed so much over the years. I used to be the dude who. Oh yeah, I got a laundry list of questions. 00:27:17:10 - 00:27:41:03 Unknown Before we go any further, like I, you know, I need to know that your number. Like all these things, bro. I use big on another thing they couldn't have to me, you know. Oh, you meant body number. Yeah, that's just training. That's infield training. It's there was there were there there were certain things that I just had to know and I still kind of that way, but it's not like, it's not like a deal breaker. 00:27:41:04 - 00:28:02:18 Unknown I just need to know, once you disclose something to me, as long as I can take it, we can. We can continue on. But I need you to tell me so I know if I'm cool with that. Yeah, because if it pops up later, after we built this great rapport and all we got got all this time in, and then it pops up that can blow the shit. 00:28:02:19 - 00:28:21:14 Unknown What's the number that goes into the red? I don't even care about the number no more. Oh, you're talking about that. That's what it used to be. You're talking about growing. I really don't care about the number. But, you know, there's certain things, you know, if you've done been shit on if you done been a double teamed or some shit like that, if somebody's got you on camera, like, I just need to know. 00:28:21:19 - 00:28:43:13 Unknown Double team. I'm sorry. You're not a candidate any longer. Just because, like, why am I going to girlfriend you or wife you? We can do the same thing they did. I'll call the homie. But as far as, like it going to that special place, that fairytale ending, the women who have done that. You're not getting that fairytale ending. 00:28:43:14 - 00:29:03:03 Unknown Now wait a minute. You did the find out. But when it comes to body count and nobody gives a fuck. Have you been double teaming by two women? No man, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't. You see, you don't see a lot of my fucking face. You. I'm not very adventurous. Like when it comes to the bedroom. I'm. 00:29:03:03 - 00:29:25:14 Unknown I'm meeting potatoes. Oh, I'm. I'm very animalistic. But as far as, like, I haven't had a lot of credit. So you ain't never had whipped cream? Lift off your taint in an asshole. Wow. Why was that so specific? No. Listen, Steer clear. He just said it like you can't. Oh, yeah. It's just. It's just reminisce. I don't even like my balls messed with. 00:29:25:14 - 00:29:47:14 Unknown I'm good. They're just. They're. Yeah, like they're apart. Oh, you really are not me. He is me. Potatoes are real. Yeah, man. Just, No focus where the focus needs to be. So what's the what would you say? The most thoughtful gift that you've given to a person? Like I do penis portraits. So I'll paint a picture with the almost go somewhere. 00:29:47:14 - 00:30:07:07 Unknown So. And then I use water. Seriousness. No no no no, I use water paint. And it takes a while because you're like, you don't want to do it. You want to do it flaccid because it once it gets blizzard and then it changes the circumference of the head and you're doing it with the head. So you want to you want to like have calming Lo-Fi music on and you don't want to do anything too crazy. 00:30:07:07 - 00:30:29:08 Unknown But it is something that is very animalistic but also like, like calming when you give it to them and for you or for her, for both. The process for me, you know, taking the time to do it, squeezing, you know, the lifeless shaft to get the blood in the head. There's a woman out there that's like he keeps painting ballpark franks. 00:30:29:10 - 00:30:49:19 Unknown I don't understand it. Why is he keep giving me paintings of hot dogs? Well, I'm out, I'm out. This is not a this is not a gift that's coming from me. I'm a grower, number one. So I'm not painting. I'm not painting my flaccid dick. It's just the tip. I might paint the hard one. It's just the tip. 00:30:49:20 - 00:31:04:15 Unknown You're not even paying. You're just like you're taking it and you put it in a water paint, and then you go, oh, it's the brush. It's the brush. I got sensitive skin, too. I don't think that works well for me. It's not toxic water pay, baby. And this is just my thing. You ain't got to do this. I'm saying this is the most definitely just your. 00:31:04:16 - 00:31:27:11 Unknown Definitely. It's. It's definitely just your thing. Y'all ain't never, never did. No. No penis painting. That's crazy. I'm trying to put your niggas on, man. I'm trying to put you on. No, you don't wanna fuck with that, all right? Ain't no nigga ever painted his penis and been like Kobe. Like. Yeah. Okay, well, there's another one. Like, find a copy machine, sit on it, spread your ass cheeks so it gives you, like, that good balloon. 00:31:27:11 - 00:31:44:16 Unknown Not. Who is this for? Who is this for? You would be amazed at the women that like this type of shit. I promise you, you got to just find the right one, man. You got to find you a Ventura's one. Yeah. No, no. That's it. That's what it is. Both of those were you ain't no idea. You ain't. 00:31:44:16 - 00:32:04:20 Unknown No no no I know he hasn't. No. The closest I've done in elementary school was sit on the, the thing and it's my butt. But I didn't spread it open and take my pants off. That's who. I wouldn't even want to see that. So why would I give that to somebody? Well, you're not seeing it because you're going to make it into something that the picture you you turn it into a flower. 00:32:04:21 - 00:32:20:15 Unknown Enough. Okay. All right. This thing is crazy. You know, try to put me on y'all to give them good ideas for birthdays and Valentine's Day, but they don't want to take hard, hard pass. I'll get on Pinterest. 00:32:20:17 - 00:32:54:04 Unknown I'm good. He said no. Wild. I will stick with Pinterest. Enough is. Larry? Enough. The best gift I've ever given to a woman. That was honestly probably time. I'm a basic nigga. Honestly, time is probably the best meat and potatoes time. You hear me? Dick? Time and dick. That's the best thing. You know what? There are women who who really would love that. 00:32:54:05 - 00:33:14:04 Unknown Because, like my lady, she is. She's. She's a quality time person. That's her love language. You can get her whatever she wants. That don't matter to her. The time that you spent in the presentation and telling her about how you found the shoe and how you you remember all that you she already had. You had a video. Like, she likes that the gifts of shit is not really what moves her. 00:33:14:04 - 00:33:34:15 Unknown So that quality time that's that's a sleeper right there because they want to feel like they're important to you. Yeah. Because so many men make women feel like they're not important in every way possible. And that's why they end up getting a man. So at least one right can make them feel important. Because you took the time. Yeah. 00:33:34:16 - 00:33:52:00 Unknown You invest you they you showed them that you were willing to put in the time. Yes. With a penis picture. So you take this, you take the portrait of, you know what I'm saying? Like, you paint the portrait with the penis. You know how long it takes me to to make. I did story night, starry Night by Vincent van Gogh with my penis head. 00:33:52:01 - 00:34:12:18 Unknown You know how long it took? Two and a half days. I'm starting to think this is some shit that light skinned niggas with freckles just to get I can't picture. Ain't no damn starry night. Dark skinned nigga being on board with this. And yes, I consider myself dark skin. This is crazy. You're a honorary member at best if you're dark skinned. 00:34:12:19 - 00:34:31:21 Unknown Okay, I've been told recently that I'm not dark skinned when I tell you this shit hurt me. Yeah, they called you light skinned, bro. Them niggas told me that I was light skinned. I was like, this is light skinned. Hey, I am not light skinned. I'm milk chocolate. Said you're caramel. I almost threw the tape. That's crazy. Same table. 00:34:31:22 - 00:34:51:14 Unknown That's crazy bro. Thank you. I didn't know there's a there's a there should be a middle. Yeah, it should just be light and dark. You could never be a name that starts with door or D. So no no DeMarcus no DeAndre anything like this. But you are strong Douglas I can see Douglas start strong. You're strong ass Douglas. 00:34:51:16 - 00:35:09:16 Unknown You could be a you could be Martin. Come on you could Malcolm yeah I think I think you're gonna have to be a great. That's interesting. There aren't light skinned Douglas. You kind of got to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got to be a certain. You know what I mean? But no, the most DeAndre. Maybe Miss Malcolm is this color. 00:35:09:18 - 00:35:27:01 Unknown Here's the thing. Oh, he was like Detroit. Yeah Detroit Red was he's the most famous man. But he's not the only one. Not the only one I don't know the other. Malcolm. Hey, man. Listen, do you read that there's a famous penis painter by the name of. All right, you know what? I'm trying to put them on. Y'all move on. 00:35:27:02 - 00:35:34:22 Unknown Let's move on. Okay. Penis paint. Let's do. Let's do a couple stories. We got a couple stories. 00:35:35:00 - 00:35:54:03 Unknown Let's go with this woman. Please get. Oh, yeah. This was great. I wish we had the video of this. Oh, yes, it was up. Guys going to let you know that this episode is sponsored by Better Help. Now, BetterHelp has done a lot for the community. And I'm not just talking about one specific community. I'm talking about us all as a group of humans. 00:35:54:03 - 00:36:21:12 Unknown They've done an amazing job, amazing job at helping people who type therapy like myself really give therapy a chance. And I'm super grateful for them. I'm so grateful I'm a proponent to them, even when I'm just in regular conversation with my friends. I can't wait to tell them I'm about to break through stuff happen. Therapy about the trauma that I've uncovered, about the healing that I've already started doing, and the process that I'm doing to continue that healing. 00:36:21:12 - 00:36:57:20 Unknown And it's an amazing thing to be here, and I honestly wish I had done it. But let's talk about something real. Okay, so a lot of people don't know this, but better help did a 2026 State of Stigma survey. All right. So during this survey better helps 2026 state of the Stigma Report survey 2000 Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe that getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. 00:36:57:22 - 00:37:17:06 Unknown And that's, that's that's that's a little disheartening because you got to think about like, there are a lot of people who have now discovered therapy. We talk about it at work, we talk about it with friends. People talk about it at church. They talk about it everywhere. But there's still a big number of people that feel like society discourages them from getting the help that they need. 00:37:17:07 - 00:37:36:05 Unknown I believe that that gap is getting smaller, and I believe that we all can do our part to make sure that everyone is getting the help that they need to fulfill themselves and living their best mental life. I love the fact that I started with BetterHelp, and I've helped a lot of people get on BetterHelp and sign up for them. 00:37:36:05 - 00:38:01:09 Unknown I believe that therapy is one of the most beneficial things that anyone can do. I love the fact that it's convenient. I can do it from anywhere. And I'm telling you guys. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally, and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of five live sessions based on over 1.7 million client reviews. 00:38:01:10 - 00:38:30:12 Unknown We're talking about quality therapists better help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and a fully licensed in the US, and the therapist match part couldn't be any easier. They actually have a commitment. It's better to help does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, and that 12 plus years of experience in industry leading match fulfillment rate means that they typically get it right on the first time. 00:38:30:12 - 00:38:50:01 Unknown But if you aren't happy with their match, you get to switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recommendations. Listen, guys, I'm not going to sit up here and preach your head off. You know, y'all know I love to talk, all right, but I promise. Check out BetterHelp. Be sure to do something for yourself. All right. 00:38:50:02 - 00:39:02:01 Unknown Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with better help. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp. 00:39:02:03 - 00:39:07:10 Unknown That's better help. 00:39:07:12 - 00:39:25:16 Unknown S you'll be glad you did. What? Guilty to drunk driving after damaging multiple cars in the parking lot. This is similar to that. That that story we saw about the girl running off of her mama when she was dropping off the kids in the morning. A woman in Australia has been sentenced after driving drunk and crashing into several cars in the supermarket parking lot. 00:39:25:17 - 00:39:49:12 Unknown Police said she was about five times over the legal alcohol limit when she reversed through the parking lot, nearly hitting a father and his newborn baby. We have less. Go to it. Shit. People get blackout drunk and go to the grocery store responsible. How do you go to the car? Is what I'm trying. Yeah, this is crazy. Okay, here we go. 00:39:49:13 - 00:40:16:02 Unknown Never seen this. Look at this. Oh! Whoa! Oh, wow. Tokyo drift. Okay. Oh! Oh, God. Damn! All right. Man. At what point? At what point? What is she? I didn't understand what? Where is she going? I don't know, because she never, like, tried to throw it back in and drive. She's driving like you. Ever see one of those things where you throw the penny in the cylinder and you watch it? 00:40:16:03 - 00:40:34:06 Unknown That's what she's did. This is. This is like Grand Theft Auto or something. Like when you don't know the controls yet. Yeah. You just. You got the four stars. All the cops come. He's just crashing to figure it out. Yeah, man. That's crazy. You just walking outside after that and seeing your car fucked up? You're just like. What? 00:40:34:06 - 00:40:53:18 Unknown What? What the fuck? That's advanced drunk, too. Like what? That's like. You hit every car in the vicinity. You had groceries in there. The groceries didn't even survive. No, the eggs is fucked up. Keep going after that. Right. He ran into the white car. Know all of it. At no point was she like, boom! Oh, let me, let me go the opposite way. 00:40:53:18 - 00:41:15:13 Unknown She was like, left foot. Keep going. Her foot was wrong. To the whole foot. The foot was the whole foot. The foot just threw up. She was sitting on the toilet drunk for three hours, so the foot was asleep. Then she went straight to the car. Wow. That's crazy. This was a dash cam. Yeah. They record when you're gone. 00:41:15:13 - 00:41:38:11 Unknown When it's parked. It has to be a Tesla, though. Yeah I know. If you anytime motion walks by, it will automatically start recording on the Tesla. So where was the father in the. Were they in the car? At least she was in Australia because she was out here. Cops would have shot her up. Damn. You guys hear about the Amazon driver accused of stealing the cat? 00:41:38:15 - 00:41:58:19 Unknown No. Missing pet. No. So driver accused of stealing a cat during California delivery. Says pet is rightfully his right. He had dropped the package off, looked at the cat, was like, damn, that can look familiar and we'll get into it. Ring camera footage appears to show an Amazon delivery driver dropping off a package before picking up a cat named Junie. 00:41:58:21 - 00:42:22:23 Unknown The driver, Joshua Gonzalez. I know Josh Julius says he believed that the cat was actually his own missing pet, which he says he legally adopted on October 9th, 2025, and has also documented and also has documentation to support. He also says he provided his job with photos of the cat. The family claiming Julie was stolen says they had owned the cat for five years. 00:42:23:00 - 00:42:43:02 Unknown No criminal charges have been filed and the case remains under investigation as both sides continue to dispute ownership. That's great. So he had paperwork. We got to see the video because the cat's behavior is going to tell me everything I need to know. Yeah. Does the cat know this? Because right now, from that still image, he looks like he's resisting. 00:42:43:04 - 00:42:55:07 Unknown So this this is it right here. He drops the package off and sets it down. Take a picture of it. Yeah. 00:42:55:09 - 00:43:21:13 Unknown And he's just like, oh, wait, this my cat? The cat just went with it too. No, no. Based off that video, there was no like, either he got that Amazon job specifically because he had narrowed down the location of his missing cat, and that was just like an undercover job. You can just hang out in this neighborhood. Stole that cat because there was no moment of, like, reconciliation, right? 00:43:21:14 - 00:43:35:22 Unknown Like, oh, my God, it's you, bro. No, Junie, you stole that cat. And then you saw how he walked away. It had some, like, pep in it. He was like, all right, let's go, let's go. He tried to get out. He's my cat. I'm knocking on the door. Why are you still right? Yeah. He stole that cat, bro. 00:43:35:23 - 00:44:00:01 Unknown Damn. Same day. All right. So this man donated his mother's body for scientific research, only to discover it had been secretly sold to the U.S. Army for explosion testing. That's real explosion testing. I didn't even know that was a thing. I didn't know either. We have to. We have to make sure this would blow up after. But what body is not blowing up? 00:44:00:05 - 00:44:24:20 Unknown That's what I'm saying. We know the answer. Hey, from mad from firecracker after a fire. I mean, after a woman died for Alzheimer's disease in 2014, her son donated her body, believing it would be used to help study the disease and help future patients, and said her remains were so through a body broker by $5,893 and eventually transferred to the US Army there. 00:44:25:02 - 00:44:46:08 Unknown Her body was reportedly used in an explosives test designed to study the effects of roadside bombs. The family did not learn what happened to you later after, during a root routers investigation into the body donation industry. The only remains returned to the family. 00:44:46:10 - 00:45:04:19 Unknown Were where a head which they later cremated and bird buries. They burned the hand. Bird buried. Buried. Buried. Come on. Bro. Bro. That's what we all. Because I didn't expect them to try to come back with anything. You knock on my door and give me just the left hand of my mama. First of all, she was right handed, bitch. 00:45:04:21 - 00:45:26:17 Unknown What the fuck am I going to do with this useless ass hand that she couldn't even do nothing with it, right? What the fuck? They paid $6,000 for it, so I feel like they could do. How much of her body was, like, everything but the hand prosthetics? Because what human body is not blowing? The whole thing should be gone on the first test. 00:45:26:18 - 00:45:51:08 Unknown Well, it blew up. Yeah, just the hand landed. Maybe. Maybe she was in a blast radius. So what hit her? Made the body do this. Right. So the body is right here at rest. Boom. Right. This hand saved by the chest. Right. Protect it. Princess. Report, bro. Right. Everything else. Shrapnel ruined. Right. They could have gave the arm, but the arm was mangled, right? 00:45:51:09 - 00:46:09:06 Unknown It wasn't the whole arm. It was right above the elbow. And it's like. That's a weird spot to just have this part. So there's like, let's just cut this off and in the hand. But we're also just assuming she was the only one that was blown up. If you think about how how cheap the US government is, it was probably multiple bodies, but that was the only thing that fell down that they could fingerprint. 00:46:09:07 - 00:46:30:18 Unknown There was probably like elbows and knees and stuff everywhere, but she'd be like, which one was this? They had an in a Jeep Renegade. That's like what? Be driving. Put in a Jeep Renegade put a why did Jeep Renegades just get a just shot out of nowhere? Right, right. They put it in the Jeep. Liberty. 00:46:30:20 - 00:47:00:17 Unknown Happy birthday, America. 250 years. They put it in a team of liberty. And. And that's all that was left was like this. Back to the unfollowed the Shade Room heading titles like this. I see shit like this all the time. Like this is depressing. That's that poor man's mama. Yeah. That's crazy. Okay, so. All right, how upset are you if this happens in real life because you took the money. 00:47:00:17 - 00:47:21:05 Unknown You blew my mama up. Yes. You took the money, albeit under false pretenses. I thought she was going to be doing research. No. He did. And then the body broker sold his mom's body. Oh, he didn't even get that. He didn't get the money? Yeah, he donated it. Oh. That's crazy. Okay, I'm not donating. Nothing to be pretty pissed off because it's disrespectful. 00:47:21:05 - 00:47:38:05 Unknown But at the end of the day, she's gone. She's gone now. It's all about civil suit. I need some of that money. I need some of that back. Yeah, I need some of that. I need some of that back. And any crazy more than $6,000, though distressed, y'all don't. You gave me a left hand. Would y'all donate y'all buddy to anything? 00:47:38:07 - 00:47:58:18 Unknown No. Even if it was like they were saying like it's three stickers on my driver's license. But I've had I've had a change of heart. So yeah. No, I don't think so because I was I was a male that was born with childbearing hips. And I don't know if that's a birth sister. Hips. Yeah. Either way, would you ever want to call it. 00:47:58:19 - 00:48:14:17 Unknown Alright I want, I want some research done on like how this keeps happening to me because I come from a family of thick niggas and I just feel like that has to be something in the genetics. And if donating my body will help niggas no longer be thick that I would do that. Somebody in the morgue is going to stick something in you. 00:48:14:18 - 00:48:33:21 Unknown Yeah. You remember that scene from kill Bill? That happens a lot, a lot, so I don't I want to go from death to the of those hips. I feel like if something's done in my body as I'm dead, I feel like that would give me more rank in heaven. Like, if I go to heaven and I'm just like a regular angel. 00:48:33:21 - 00:48:50:19 Unknown But then they did flower my body in this morgue. You probably bump up like general. I'm being general. You could probably hunt a little bit easier than other people. Oh, man, I know if you would like that. Got to give me some rank in heaven. Like. Like you're gonna, like, move up to, like Saint Peter. You have to do other stuff to rank up in heaven. 00:48:50:22 - 00:49:09:22 Unknown You can't just get fondled as a dead body. You probably can haunt that nigga. You know, I think the Xerox in your gooch is you might not be on the fast track to you. Oh, yeah, he was a in heaven from The Killers. I don't even hang around with people like that because that negative energy can't rub off you. 00:49:09:22 - 00:49:28:21 Unknown You assumed heaven. Realist, straight shooter, real nigga trying to help you in hell. They're gonna laugh at you. They're gonna be like, hey, look what they're doing. I'm coming to you directly to let you know, not be getting him. 00:49:28:23 - 00:49:44:19 Unknown With me the long way, bro. I'm telling you. Do you fuck me in the long way, bro? So many times I should have been dead. I ain't even gonna hold you. Should have been he just like that. That's my. Not my little shout out to Big Jake. That's my dog right there. We got time for one more. Get up out here. 00:49:44:20 - 00:50:06:19 Unknown Hey what's up guys? Want to let you know that Bluetooth is the sponsor of today's episode. And they wanted me to tell y'all that it's time to make your bedroom noisy again. Nothing says hello, neighbors like a bed post knocking against the wall. The draw wall at 2:00 in the morning. Seriously, if you don't take Bluetooth, you're unprepared to buy a new bed frame. 00:50:06:19 - 00:50:22:05 Unknown That's what we want to do. We want we want to see some furniture and move it right. Remember when you were young? Tell us. And getting hard was easy. You could you could look at it. Cookie book. You know what I mean? Like, hey, that bread better stop playing with your boy. Well, you know, as we get older, things changed a little bit. 00:50:22:06 - 00:50:44:10 Unknown You know, that that rapping this ad at which you, you know, kind of kind of slows down just a tad bit. Well, Bluetooth bring that back now Bluetooth Gold is better sex and a tablet. They can bind four ingredients into one powerful solution, two ingredients to get you hard physically and to support the arousal and the desire in the brain. 00:50:44:10 - 00:51:06:10 Unknown It works fast. And last, and guys have a complete experience in the bedroom with blue you go, we're taking it to the next level. I haven't told you about blue two tons and tons. Y'all know I keep that on deck right there. And I don't think this is impacting your boy. Keep that on deck. But that blue you don't know that blue to go hanging it to the next level. 00:51:06:11 - 00:51:28:03 Unknown It's a reason why Bluetooth is the number one brand for better sex. Reason for that knows the name. You think that's just by heavy sentence. Experience it yourself at Bluetooth com. And we got a special deal for our listeners as always. Right now, when you buy two months of blue two gold, you get the third month free with the promo code dies. 00:51:28:04 - 00:51:52:22 Unknown The promo code again is dies. You will also receive an additional 10% off, plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit Bluetooth for more details and important safety information. We thank you as always, sponsoring the pod and sponsoring the bedroom. Oh, they came through! Hallelujah! Letter from 1964. Told this builder to bet on a specific horse in 2026. 00:51:52:23 - 00:52:15:16 Unknown Damn it actually won. The note explained that the coins were winnings from a bet on Santa Claus, winner of the 1964 Epsom Derby. The author instructed whoever found the capsule to place the money on a future Derby horse whose name could be associated with Santa Claus. 62 years later, officials followed the instructions by betting on Christmas Day, which went on to win the race. 00:52:15:16 - 00:52:45:02 Unknown Another, and another strange coincidence, the construction worker who discovered the capsule was named Credit Cracking Crate. Crazy creature creation Christian CMD. Yeah, which means Christmas in Romanian. Yeah. Wow. Did he say that it would happen in 2026? Or he just said, stay on the lookout in general for anybody, any horse that has a Christmas related name like me? 00:52:45:04 - 00:53:02:04 Unknown Yeah, yeah. If he was if he was a real time traveler, he probably would have went back and bet on a horse that was going to win in his lifetime. What do you mean? This happened 60 years later. I'm gonna I'm gonna go I'm going to go out and I'm going to say this in white. This is some horseback. 00:53:02:06 - 00:53:21:13 Unknown Horseback I ain't. And when you go horse betting, you gotta know the other horses record to know how how many times they won. Because that just seems like a lot of homework to do for something that's supposed to be a fun activity. Well, also, I don't think any black people would time travel like back. Oh no, I definitely would go back. 00:53:21:14 - 00:53:39:00 Unknown You go to the 1960s. I have about here in modus. I'm going back to slap flavor. You can't bring nothing with you. You would become a slave. No, if hit me out. Because if I got the technology to get back, I got the technology. I mean, go back. I got to technology to come back to the future. Let's say, like, I have, like a what? 00:53:39:02 - 00:54:02:00 Unknown The little thing that Stewie Griffin had, and you step on it and then and then go back and forth. Right. I'm just going back, slapping the shit out of slave owners. I'm not staying for the rebuttal. I'm not staying for. Then I'm like, oh, I'm just going back as soon as I pop up and then I'm gone. And then it becomes a rumor like, yo, there's a nigga who popped up to my living room. 00:54:02:02 - 00:54:17:13 Unknown No, no, not the slaves around. He just popped up out of thin air, slept shit out of me, and he got the fuck out of there. And that's going to be the myth. But then when you come back to normal, everything that you changed is going to be like crazy. Like white people are like, rule the world. There's no more people. 00:54:17:14 - 00:54:39:10 Unknown No, no, not from the slap. Nah. They're going to be more afraid of anything. It's a ginger freckle face. Arsenic that's slapping down slave owners. We got to do something about it. Our ancestors will be disappointed because that's not enough. You went back just to slap the shit. You know what they went through, and that's all you can do is slap. 00:54:39:12 - 00:54:52:14 Unknown They probably took it out on them afterwards. I'm still. I'm still trying to get to heaven. So if I go back and kill somebody, I ain't going to get to. Y'all don't want me to sign. You don't want me to sign. That's crazy. And you likes him. We talked about this, a meeting you ain't opposed to be doing this type of shit in front of it. 00:54:52:15 - 00:54:58:11 Unknown In front. In front of talking about. 00:54:58:12 - 00:55:22:11 Unknown Time. People think that just because they go back in time, they can do the sucking up Hitler like, no, you're not that. I go back just to hear a white person like at that time call me nigger with that level of visceral just so I can laugh at them. That's what I would they be like, damn, they don't respect that in the future. 00:55:22:13 - 00:55:51:04 Unknown So funny at how much hate is in them when they say it. It's like their trump card. Me laugh that they think that's a big thing. It used to end arguments, but now it's just like, okay, because it used to be like, you're hardy are. And the whole room would be like, no, I just think it's funny. So I would literally just go back and like set up a panel of the worst slave owners and just, all right, you go, nigger. 00:55:51:05 - 00:56:20:08 Unknown You aren't competition. You you guys aren't making it out of these scenarios. You're not give you a nine out of ten. That's what I would do. Not me. I'm from the future. Well, in the comic book, there's one episode of Marvel where they talk about and they introduced this guy who's just a regular guy. And every year on his birthday, Daniels goes back in like, fucks this guy up, like, kills his friends or makes him lose his job or kills. 00:56:20:11 - 00:56:40:02 Unknown But he does this every fucking year on his birthday for years, right? That's what be me. I would find one slave owner or like, what was the guy? He's sheriff in the South something. Bill, right. He was dead. He was dead, He was staying. No one could do anything to him. Yeah, I know, but I'm saying, like, I would just go back. 00:56:40:03 - 00:56:57:13 Unknown That would be my slapping thing. Instead of maybe picking multiple ones. I just find one person. Just the time travel machine engine running, that's all. This shit. He could be 14 seconds. It's like. It's like getting out of the corner, reloads the truck, like at the light. I'm just don't even put it in part. Keep it in. Keep it in neutral. 00:56:57:13 - 00:57:09:20 Unknown Make sure you're not on the hill. He's going to turn around. It's going to be riding away on a horse. And then they're going to lock the doors and be like, well, we got us another one. 00:57:09:22 - 00:57:28:20 Unknown Look at this. Look, I'm going to look like this. Oh, look at this shit right here. It opens with my face. He said, yeah, you look like you get captured. I'm sorry. Wait, wait a minute. Where's this coming from? No, you just look like you'd get captured. Greg, I'm very stiff, okay? I'm stealth. And I bet you you won't take your piercings out before you go back. 00:57:28:21 - 00:57:46:22 Unknown You're getting captured. I'm not right away. I'm not thinking about my period. He is. Hold on. I also want to say. I also want to say I'm not going back without a gun. I'm going have. You can't bring nothing with you. That's why that's the rules of time travel. Who said, okay, so am I traveling naked? Because if I can't bring that with me, I came here close with me. 00:57:46:23 - 00:58:06:14 Unknown So that was there. So you. No, no, no, this is you are new is what? Yes, I am a notice. Yes, but I didn't say that you made that rule just now I did, yeah. See, so out of thin. That was where you pulled zero. Roxanne. Your brother fucking Gooch out of theater. That was one and many things I said that I had done. 00:58:06:14 - 00:58:23:15 Unknown You going to keep skinning, skipping over these penis portraits? Meanwhile, here's the thing. His thing, that tunnel tone of painters who did get famous after they died. So as I die, I started seeing penis portraits all over. You're welcome for sure. Yeah. We got to get ready to get up out of here. But before we do, man, first of all, I want to thank our special guest. 00:58:23:16 - 00:58:41:11 Unknown Great way for coming on the pop. Baby baby baby baby baby baby. What did you tell us motherfuckers I've ever met in my life? You got anything coming up that you want people to check out? Just go see scary movie guys. Scary theaters right now. Yeah. Keep keep running them numbers up. You know, that's like a slap in the face to the haters. 00:58:41:11 - 00:58:59:12 Unknown And and it warms my heart. I'm glad it's back in the hands of the wings. Yes. Are you a big Instagram? You want people to check out what you like? My god is Instagram. I just made a TikTok, but I don't think I would get too vested in that shit. I'm not trying to be a content creator, man. 00:58:59:12 - 00:59:24:22 Unknown I, I'm I'm on Instagram at Greg Williams. I know y'all don't know how to spell Wayne's. You think it's Wayne Wayne ns Greg W.A. a ns follow me. You are. Meat. Potatoes. No nonsense in every facet of your life. That's what struggle will do to your brother. All the all the fun, all the fun and being cut away. 00:59:25:00 - 00:59:49:21 Unknown I'm ready to be rich. Fuck that. Look, that's where I'm at with it. I ain't shit funny until it's funny. Well, you heard it here. Funny. It's just funny. Yeah. As always, a gentleman to hear more. I'm Patrick Cloud, and we'll see you next week on another episode of Damn Internet. You scary. Peace, guys. Bye, guys. You scared me. 00:59:50:01 - 01:00:01:04 Unknown Whole world watching. Yeah. Everybody staring at. Been doing it. Yeah. You know, we're ready. I mean, it's getting scary.