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Rhyme And Reason (Version 2)-Lewis Carroll · Through The Looking Glass - Lewis Carroll

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  Speaker 1: Inscribed to a Dear Child from Rhyme and Reason by
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  Speaker 1: Lewis Carroll. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings
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  Speaker 1: are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer,
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  Speaker 1: please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording by Michael Maggs. Rhyme
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  Speaker 1: or Reason Inscribed to a Dear Child in memory of
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  Speaker 1: golden summer hours and whispers of a summer sea. Girt
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  Speaker 1: with a boyish garb for boyish task. Eager she wields
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  Speaker 1: her spade, yet loves as well. Rest on a friendly knee,
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  Speaker 1: Intend to ask the tale one loves to tell. Rudes
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  Speaker 1: goffer of the seething outer strife. An meet to read
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  Speaker 1: her pure and simple sprite deem if thou wilt such
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  Speaker 1: hours a waste of life, empty of all delight, chat on,
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  Speaker 1: sweet maid, and rescue from annoy hearts that, by wiser
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  Speaker 1: talk are unbeguiled. Ah happy He who owns that tenderest
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  Speaker 1: joy the heart love of a child, Away fond thoughts
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  Speaker 1: and vex my soul. No more work, claims my wakeful nights,
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  Speaker 1: my busy days, albeit bright memories of that sunlit shore,
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  Speaker 1: yet haunt my dreaming gaze. And of inscribed to a
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  Speaker 1: Dear Child Phantasmagoria from Rhyme and Reason by Lewis Carroll.
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  Speaker 1: This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recorded by
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  Speaker 1: Michael Max Phantasmagoria Canto one, the Trysting. One winter night,
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  Speaker 1: at half past nine, cold, tired and cross some muddy,
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  Speaker 1: I had come home too late to dine, and supper
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  Speaker 1: with cigars and wine was waiting in the study. There
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  Speaker 1: was a strangeness in the room, and something white and
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  Speaker 1: wavy was standing near me in the gloom. I took
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  Speaker 1: it for a carpet broom left by that careless slavey,
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  Speaker 1: But presently the thing began to shiver and to sneeze,
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  Speaker 1: on which I said, come come, my man, that'd a
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  Speaker 1: most inconsiderate plan less noise there, if you please, I've
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  Speaker 1: caught a cold, the thing replies. Out there upon the landing.
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  Speaker 1: I turned to look in some surprise, and there before
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  Speaker 1: my very eyes a little ghost was standing. He trembled
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  Speaker 1: when he caught my eye, and got behind a chair.
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  Speaker 1: How came you here? I said, And why I never
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  Speaker 1: saw a thing so shy? Come out, don't shiver there,
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  Speaker 1: he said, I'd gladly tell you how i'd also tell
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  Speaker 1: you why, but here he gave a little bow. You're
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  Speaker 1: in so bad a temper now you'd think it all alie.
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  Speaker 1: And as to being in affright, allow me to remark
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  Speaker 1: that ghosts have just a good aright in every way,
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  Speaker 1: to fear the light as men to fear the dark. No, please, said,
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  Speaker 1: I can well excuse such cowardice in you, for ghosts
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  Speaker 1: can visit when they choose, whereas we humans can't refuse
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  Speaker 1: to grant the interview, He said. A flutter of alarm
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  Speaker 1: is not unnatural, is it. I really feared you meant
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  Speaker 1: some harm, but now I see that you are calm.
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  Speaker 1: Let me explain my visit. Houses are classed. I beg
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  Speaker 1: to state according to the number of ghosts that they accommodate.
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  Speaker 1: The tenant merely counts as weight with coals another lumber.
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  Speaker 1: This is a one ghost house, and you, when you
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  Speaker 1: arrive last summer, may have remarked a specter, who was
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  Speaker 1: doing all that ghosts can do to welcome the newcomer
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  Speaker 1: in villas. This is always done, however, cheaply rented for
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  Speaker 1: though of course there's less of fun when there is
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  Speaker 1: only room for one. Ghosts have to be contented that
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  Speaker 1: specter left you on the third. Since then you've not
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  Speaker 1: been haunted, for as he never sent us word. Tis
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  Speaker 1: quite by accident we heard that anyone was wanted. A
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  Speaker 1: specter has first choice by right in filling up a vacancy,
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  Speaker 1: then phantom, goblin, el and sprite. If all these fail them,
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  Speaker 1: they invite the nicest ghoul that they can see. The
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  Speaker 1: specters said the place was low, and that you kept
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  Speaker 1: bad wine, So as a phantom had to go, and
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  Speaker 1: I was first, of course, you know I couldn't well decline,
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  Speaker 1: no doubt, said I. They settled who was fittest to
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  Speaker 1: be sent? Yet still to choose a brat like you
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  Speaker 1: to haunt a man of forty two was no great compliment.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not so young, sir, he replied, as you might think.
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  Speaker 1: The fact is in caverns, by the water side and
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  Speaker 1: other places that I've tried. I've had a lot of practice,
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  Speaker 1: but I have never taken yet a strict domestic part.
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  Speaker 1: And in my flurry, I forget the five good rules
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  Speaker 1: of etty. We have to know by heart. My sympathies
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  Speaker 1: were warming fast towards the little fellow. He was so
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  Speaker 1: utterly aghast at having found a man at last, and
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  Speaker 1: looked so scared and yellow at least, I said, I'm
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  Speaker 1: glad to find a ghost is not a dumb thing.
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  Speaker 1: But pray, sit down, you're feel inclined if, like myself,
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  Speaker 1: you have not dined to take a snack of something,
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  Speaker 1: though certainly you don't appear a thing to offer food to.
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  Speaker 1: And then I shall be glad to hear if you
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  Speaker 1: will say them loud and clear, the rules that you
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  Speaker 1: allude to, thanks, you shall hear them by and by.
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  Speaker 1: This is a piece of luck. What may I offer you?
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  Speaker 1: Said I, Well, since you are so kind, I try
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  Speaker 1: a little bit of duck one sly, and may I
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  Speaker 1: ask you for another drop of gravy. I sat and
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  Speaker 1: looked at him in awe, for certainly I never saw
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  Speaker 1: a thing so white and wavy, And still he seemed
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  Speaker 1: to grow more white, more vapory, and wavier, seen in
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  Speaker 1: the dim and flickering light, as he proceeded to recite
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  Speaker 1: his maxims of behavior Canto two, His five rules. My
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  Speaker 1: first But don't suppose, he said, I'm setting you a riddle.
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  Speaker 1: Is if your victim be in bed, don't touch the
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  Speaker 1: curtains at his head, but take them in the middle,
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  Speaker 1: and waved them slowly in and out, while drawing them asunder.
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  Speaker 1: And in a minute's time, no doubt he'll raise his
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  Speaker 1: head and look about with eyes of wrath and wonder.
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  Speaker 1: And here you must, on no pretense, make the first observation,
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  Speaker 1: wait for the victim to commence. No ghost of any
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  Speaker 1: common sense begins a conversation. If he should say, how
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  Speaker 1: came you here? The way that you began, sir. In
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  Speaker 1: such a case, your course is clear on the bat's back,
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  Speaker 1: My little dear, is the appropriate answer. If after this
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  Speaker 1: he says no more, you best perhaps curtail your exertions
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  Speaker 1: and go shake the door. And then if he begins
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  Speaker 1: to snore, you'll know the things of failure by day.
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  Speaker 1: If he should be alone at home or on a walk,
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  Speaker 1: you merely give a hollow groan to indicate the kind
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  Speaker 1: of tone by which you mean to talk. But if
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  Speaker 1: you find him with his friends, the thing is rather harder.
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  Speaker 1: In such a case, success depends on picking up some candle,
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  Speaker 1: ns or butter in the larder. With this you make
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  Speaker 1: a kind of slide. It answers best with seward on
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  Speaker 1: which you must contrive to glide and swing yourself from
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  Speaker 1: side to side. One soon learns how to do it.
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  Speaker 1: The second tells us what is right in ceremonious calls. First,
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  Speaker 1: burn a blue or crimson light a thing I quite
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  Speaker 1: forgot to night. Then scratch the door all walls. I said,
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  Speaker 1: your visit here no more. If you attempt the guy,
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  Speaker 1: I'll have no bonfires on my floor. And as for
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  Speaker 1: s scratching at the door, I'd like to see you try.
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  Speaker 1: The third was written to protect the interests of the
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  Speaker 1: victim and tells us, as I recollect, to treat him
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  Speaker 1: with a grave respect, and not to contradict him. That's plain,
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  Speaker 1: said I, as tear and treat to any comprehension. I
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  Speaker 1: only wish some ghosts I've met would not so constantly
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  Speaker 1: forget the maxim that you mention. Perhaps he said, you
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  Speaker 1: first transgress the laws of hospitality. All ghosts instinctively detest
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  Speaker 1: the man that fails to treat his guest with proper cordiality.
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  Speaker 1: If you address a ghoster's thing or strike him with
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  Speaker 1: a hatchet, he is permitted by the king to drop
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  Speaker 1: all formal parleying, and then you're sure to catch it.
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  Speaker 1: The fourth prohibits trespassing where other ghosts are quartered, and
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  Speaker 1: those convicted of the thing, unless when pardoned by the king,
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  Speaker 1: must instantly be slaughtered. That simply means be cut up.
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  Speaker 1: Small ghosts soon unite anew. The process scarcely hurts at all,
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  Speaker 1: not more than when you're what you call cut up
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  Speaker 1: by a review. The fifth is one you may prefer
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  Speaker 1: that I shall quote entire. The king must be addressed
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  Speaker 1: as sir. This from a simple courtier is all the
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  Speaker 1: laws require. But should you wish to do the thing
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  Speaker 1: without and out politeness, accost him as my goblin king,
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  Speaker 1: and always use in answering the phrase your royal whiteness.
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  Speaker 1: I'm getting rather horse, I fear after so much reciting,
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  Speaker 1: So if you don't object, my dear, we'll try a
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  Speaker 1: glass of bitter beer. I think it looks inviting Canto
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  Speaker 1: three Scarmoges, And did you really walk, said I on
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  Speaker 1: such a wretched knight. I always fancied ghosts could fly,
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  Speaker 1: if not exactly in the sky, yet at a fairish height.
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  Speaker 1: Tis very well, he said, for kings to soar above
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  Speaker 1: the earth. But phantoms often find that wings, like many
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  Speaker 1: other pleasant things, cost more than they are worth. Specters,
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  Speaker 1: of course, are rich, and so can buy them from
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  Speaker 1: the elves, but we to keep below. They're stupy company,
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  Speaker 1: you know, for any but themselves. For though they claim
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  Speaker 1: to be exempt from pride, they treat a phantom as
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  Speaker 1: something quite beneath contempt, just as no turkey ever dreamt
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  Speaker 1: of noticing a bantam. They seem too proud, said I
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  Speaker 1: to go to houses such as mine. Pray How did
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  Speaker 1: they contrive to know so quickly that the place was
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  Speaker 1: low and that I kept bad wine? Inspector Cobbald came
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  Speaker 1: to you the little ghost began here I broke in, Inspector,
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  Speaker 1: who inspecting ghosts is something new? Explain yourself, my man.
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  Speaker 1: His name is Cobbald, said my guest, one of the
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  Speaker 1: specter order. You'll very often see him dressed in yellow gown,
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  Speaker 1: a crimson vest, and a nightcap with a border. He
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  Speaker 1: tried the Brocken business first, but caught a sort of chill,
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  Speaker 1: so came to England to be nursed, and here it
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  Speaker 1: took the form of thirst, which he complains of. Still
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  Speaker 1: port wine, he says, when rich and sound warms his
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  Speaker 1: old bones like nectar, and as the inns where it
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  Speaker 1: is found are his especial hunting ground. We call him
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  Speaker 1: the inspector. I bore it, bore it like a man,
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  Speaker 1: this agonizing witticism. And nothing could be sweeter than my
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  Speaker 1: temper till the ghost began some most provoking criticism. Cooks
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  Speaker 1: need not be indulged in waste, yet still you better
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  Speaker 1: teach them. Dishes should have some sort of taste. Pray,
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  Speaker 1: why are all the crew its placed where nobody can
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  Speaker 1: reach them? That man of yours will never earn his
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  Speaker 1: living as a waiter? Is that queer thing supposed to burn?
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  Speaker 1: It's far too dismal a concern to call a moderator.
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  Speaker 1: The duck was tender, but the peas were very much
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  Speaker 1: too old. And just remember, if you please, the next
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  Speaker 1: time you have toasted cheese, don't let them send it cold.
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  Speaker 1: You'll find the bread improved, I think, by getting better flour.
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  Speaker 1: And have you anything to drink that looks a little
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  Speaker 1: less like ink and isn't quite so sour? Then, peering
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  Speaker 1: round with curious eyes, he muttered, goodness gracious, and so
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  Speaker 1: went on to criticize your room's an inconvenience. It's neither
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  Speaker 1: snug nor spacious. That narrow window I expect serves but
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  Speaker 1: to let the duskin, but please, said I to recollect
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  Speaker 1: twas fashioned by an architect who pinned his face on ruskin.
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  Speaker 1: I don't care who he was, sir, or on whom
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  Speaker 1: he pinned his face, constructed by whatever law. So poor
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  Speaker 1: a job I never saw, as I'm a living wraith.
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  Speaker 1: What a remarkable cigar? How much are they a dozen?
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  Speaker 1: I growled, No matter what they are, you're getting as
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  Speaker 1: familiar as if you were my cousin. Now that's a
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  Speaker 1: thing I will not stand, And so I tell you
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  Speaker 1: flat aha, said he We're getting grand, taking a bottle
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  Speaker 1: in his hand. I'll soon arrange for that. And here
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  Speaker 1: he took a careful aim and gaily cried, here goes.
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  Speaker 1: I tried to dodge it as it came, but somehow
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  Speaker 1: caught it all the same, exactly on my nose. And
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  Speaker 1: I remember nothing more than I can clearly fix till
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  Speaker 1: I was sitting on the floor repeating, two and five
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  Speaker 1: are four? But five and two R six? What really passed?
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  Speaker 1: I never learned nor guessed. I only know that when
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  Speaker 1: at last my sense returned, the lamp neglected, dimly burned,
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  Speaker 1: the fire was getting low through driving mists. I seemed
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  Speaker 1: to see a thing that smirked and smiled, and found
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  Speaker 1: that he was giving me a lesson in biography, as
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  Speaker 1: if I were a child Canto four, His Nurture, Oh,
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  Speaker 1: when I was a little ghost. A merry time had
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  Speaker 1: we each seated on his favorite post. We chumped and
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  Speaker 1: chored the buttered toast they gave us for our tea.
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  Speaker 1: That story is in print, I cried, don't say it's not,
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  Speaker 1: because it's known as well as Bradshaw's Guide. The ghost
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  Speaker 1: uneasily replied, he hardly thought it was. It's not in
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  Speaker 1: nursery rhymes, and yet I almost think it is. Three
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  Speaker 1: little ghostesses were set on posteses, you know, and let
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  Speaker 1: their buttered toastesses. I have the book, so if you
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  Speaker 1: doubt it, I turned to search the shelf. Don't stir,
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  Speaker 1: he cried, We'll do without it. I now remember all
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  Speaker 1: about it. I wrote the thing myself. It came out
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  Speaker 1: in a monthly awe. At least my agent's ed it
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  Speaker 1: did some literary swell. Who saw it thought it seemed
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  Speaker 1: adapted for the magazine he edited. My father was a brownie, sir.
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  Speaker 1: My mother was a fairy. The notion had occurred to
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  Speaker 1: her the children would be happier if they were taught
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  Speaker 1: to vary. The notion soon became a craze, and when
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  Speaker 1: it once began, she brought us out in different ways.
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  Speaker 1: One was a pixie, too were fas. Another was a banshee.
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  Speaker 1: The fetch and Kelpie went to school and gave a
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  Speaker 1: lot of trouble. Next came a poltergeist and ghaul, and
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  Speaker 1: then two trolls which broke the rule, a goblin and
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  Speaker 1: a double. If that's the snuff box on the shelf,
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  Speaker 1: he added, with a yawn, I'll take a pinch. Next
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  Speaker 1: came an elf and and a phantom that's myself, and
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  Speaker 1: last a leprecorn. One day some specters chanced to call,
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  Speaker 1: dressed in the usual white. I stood and watched them
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  Speaker 1: in the hall and couldn't make them out at all.
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  Speaker 1: They seemed so strange a sight. I wondered what on
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  Speaker 1: earth they were that looked all head and sack. But
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  Speaker 1: mother told me not to stare, and then she'd twitched
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  Speaker 1: me by the hair and punch me in the back.
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  Speaker 1: Since then, I've often wished that I had been a
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  Speaker 1: specter born. But what's the use? He heaved a sigh.
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  Speaker 1: They are the ghost nobility and look on us with scorn.
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  Speaker 1: My phantom life was soon begun. When I was barely six,
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  Speaker 1: I went out with an older one, and just at
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  Speaker 1: first I thought it fun and learned a lot of tricks.
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  Speaker 1: I've haunted dungeons, castles, towers, wherever I was sent. I've
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  Speaker 1: often sat and howled for hours, drenched to the skin
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  Speaker 1: with driving showers upon a battlement. It's quite old fashioned
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  Speaker 1: now to groan when you begin to speak. This is
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  Speaker 1: the newest thing in tone. And here it chilled me
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  Speaker 1: to the bone. He gave an awful squeak. Perhaps he
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: added to your ear, that sounds an easy thing. Try
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  Speaker 1: it yourself, my little dear. It took me something like
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: a year with constant practicing. And when you've learnt to squeak,
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  Speaker 1: my man, and caught the double sob, you're pretty much
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: where you began. Just try and gibber if you can.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: That's something like a job. I've tried it and can
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  Speaker 1: only say I'm sure you couldn't do it, even if
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  Speaker 1: you practice night and day, unless you have a turn
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  Speaker 1: that way a natural ingenuity. Shakespeare, I think it is
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  Speaker 1: who treats of ghosts in days of old, who gibbered
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: in the Roman streets dressed. If you recollect in sheets,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: they must have found it cold. I've often spent ten
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: pounds on stuff in dressing as a double, but though
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  Speaker 1: it answers as a puff, it never has effect enough
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  Speaker 1: to make it worth the trouble. Long bills soon quench
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: the little thirst I have for being funny. The setting
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: up is always worst. Such heaps of things you want,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: at first one must be made of money. For instance,
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: take a haunted tower with skull, cross bones and sheet
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: blue lights to burn say two an hour, condensing lens
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  Speaker 1: of extra power and set of chains complete. What with
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: the things you have to hire, the fitting on the
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  Speaker 1: robe and testing all the colored fire. The outfit of
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: itself would tire the patients of a job. And then
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: they're so fastidious the haunted house committee I've often known
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: the make of fuss because a ghost was French or
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: russ or even from the city. Some dialects are objected to.
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  Speaker 1: For one, the Irish brogue is. And then for all
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: you have to do one pound a week they offer you,
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  Speaker 1: and find yourself in Bogies Canto five, bickerment don't they
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  Speaker 1: consult the victims? Though? I said, they should, by rights
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  Speaker 1: give them the chance, because you know, the tastes of
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  Speaker 1: people differ, so especially in sprites. The phantom shook his
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  Speaker 1: head and smiled. Consult them not a bit. Tw be
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  Speaker 1: a job to drive one while to satisfy one single
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: child there be no end to it. Of course, you
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: can't leave children free, said I, to pick and choose.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: But in the case of men like me, I think
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: mine host might fairly be allowed to state his views.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: He said, it wouldn't really pay. Folk are so full
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  Speaker 1: of fancies. We visit for a single day, and whether
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  Speaker 1: we then go or stay depends on circumstances. And though
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: we don't consult mine host before the things arranged. Still,
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: if he often quits his post or is not a
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  Speaker 1: well mannered ghost, then you can have him changed. But
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: if the host's a man like you, I mean, a
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  Speaker 1: man of sense. And if the house is not too new,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: why what has that I said to do with ghosts convenience?
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: A new house does not suit you know, it's such
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: a job to trim it. But after twenty years or
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: so the Wainscottings begin to go. So twenty as the
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: limit to trim was not a phrase I could remember
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: having heard. Perhaps, I said, you'll be so good as
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: tell me what is understood exactly by that word. It
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: means that loosening all the doors, the ghost replied and laughed.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: It means the drilling holes by scores in all the
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: skirting boards and floors to make a thorough draft. You'll
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: sometimes find that one or two are all you really
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: need to let the wind come whistling through. But here
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: there'll be a lot to do, I faintly gasped. Indeed,
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: if i'd been rather later, i'll be bound, I added,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: trying most unsuccessfully to smile. You'd have been busy all
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: this while trimming and beautifying, Why no, said he. Perhaps
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: I should have stayed another minute, But still no ghosts,
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: as any good without an introduction would have ventured to
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: begin it. The proper thing, as you were late, was
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: certainly to go. But with the roads in such a state,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: I got the nightmare's leave to wait for half an
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: hour or so. Who Who's the nightmare? I cried, instead
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: of answering my question. Well, if you don't know that,
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: he said, either you never go to bed, or you've
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: a grand digestion. He goes about and sets on falk
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: that eat too much at night. His duties are to
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: pinch and poke and squeeze them till they nearly choke.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I said, it serves them right. And falk that sup
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: on things like these, he muttered, eggs and bacon, lobster
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: and duck and toasted cheese. If they don't get an
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: awful squeeze, I'm very much mistaken. He is immensely fat,
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: and so well suits the occupation. In point of fact,
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: if you must know, we used to call him years
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: ago the mare and Corporation. The day he was elected mayor,
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I know that every sprite meant to vote for me,
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: but did not dare. He was so frantic with despair
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: and furious with excitement. When it was over for a whim,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: he ran to tell the King, and, being the reverse
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: of slim, a two mile trot was not for him
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: a very easy thing. So to reward him for his run,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: as it was baking hot and he was over twenty stone,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: the King proceeded half in fun to knight him on
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: the spot. Twas a great liberty to take. I fired
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: up like a rocket. He did it just for Punning's sake.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: The man says Johnson that would make a pun, would
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: pick a pocket. A man said, he is not a king.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: I argued for a while, and did my best to
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: prove the thing the fat, merely listening with a contemptuous smile.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: At last, when breath and patience spent, I had recourse
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: to smoking. Your aim, he said, is excellent. But when
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: you call it argument, of course you're only joking. Stung
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: by his cold and snaky eye, I roused myself at
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: length to say, at least I do defy the very
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: skeptic to deny that union is strength. That's true enough,
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: said he. Yet stay I listened all in meekness. Union
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: is strength, I'm bound to say. In fact, the things
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: as clear as day, But onions are a weakness can
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: six discomfiture as one who strives a hill to climb,
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: who never climb before, who finds it in a little time,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: grows every moment less sublime, and votes the thing a bore, Yet,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: having once begun to try, dares not desert his quest,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: but climbing, ever, keeps his eye on one small hut
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: against the sky, wherein he hopes to rest. Who climbs
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: till nerve and force are spent with many a puff
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: and pant, who still as rises. The ascent in language
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: grows more violent, although in breath more scant, who climbing
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: gains at length a pace that crowns the upward track,
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: and entering with unsteady pace, receives a buffet in the
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: face that lands him on his back and feels himself
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: like one in sleep. Guy'd swiftly down again, a helpless weight,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: from steep to steep, till with a headlong giddy sweep
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: he drops upon the plane. So I that had resolved
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: to bring conviction to a ghost, and found it quite
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: a different thing from any human arguing, yet dared not
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: quit my post, but keeping still the end in view
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: to which I hoped to come, I strove to prove
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: the matter true by putting everything I knew into an axiom,
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: commencing every single phrase with Therefore, or because I blindly
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: reeled a hundred ways about the syllogistic maze unconscious where
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: I was quoth he that's regular clap trap, don't bluster
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: any more, No, do be cool and take can nap?
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Such a ridiculous old chap was never seen before. You're
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: like a man I used to meet who got one
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: day so furious in arguing the simple heat scorched both
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: the slippers off his feet. I said, that's very curious. Well,
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: it is curious, I agree, and sounds perhaps like FIBs.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: But still it's true as true can be, as sure
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: as your name's Tibbs, said he. I said, my name's
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: not TIBs. Not TIBs, he cried. His tone became a
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: shade or two less hearty, I know, said I. My
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: proper name is Tibbits. Tibbits, I the same. Why then
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: you're not the party with that? He struck the board,
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: a blow that shivered half the glasses. Why couldn't you
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: have told me so three quarters of an hour ago, you,
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: prince of all the asses, to walk four miles through
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: mud and rain, to spend the night in smoking, and
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: then to find that it's in vain, and I've to
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: do it all again. It's really too provoking. Don't talk,
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: he cried, as I began to mutter some excuse, Who
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: can have patience with a man that's got no more
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: discretion than an idiotic goose? To keep me waiting here?
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Instead of telling me at once that this was not
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: the house, he said, there that'll do be off to bed.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: Don't gape like that, you dunce. It's very fine to
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: throw the blame on me in such a fashion. Why
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: didn't you inquire my name the very minute that you came,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: I answered, in a passion. Of course, it worries you
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: a bit to come so far on foot. But how
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: was I to blame for it? Well, well, said he,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: I must admit that isn't badly put, And certainly you've
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: given me the best of wine and vittle excuse my violence,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: said he, But accidents like this, you see, they put
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: one out a little twas my fault, after all, I
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: find shake Hands or turnip Top. The name was hardly
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: to my mind, but as no doubt he meant it kind.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I let the matter drop. Good Night, old turnip Top,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: good night. When I am gone, perhaps they'll send you
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: some inferior sprite who will keep you in a constant
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: frighter and spoil your soundest naps. Tell him you'll stand
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: no sort of trick. Then if he leers and chuckles,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: you'll just be handy with a stick mind that is
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: pretty hard and sick, and wrap him on the knuckles.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Then carelessly remark, old coon, perhaps you're not aware that
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: if you don't behave you'll soon be chuckling to another tune,
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: and so you best take care. That's the right way
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: to cure a sprite of such like goings on. But
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: gracious me, it's getting light. Good Night, old turnip top,
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: good night, A nod, and he was gone. Canto seven,
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: sad souvenants. What's this? I pondered, Have I slept or
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: can I have been drinking? But soon a gentler feeling
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: crap upon me, and I sat and wept an hour
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: or so, like winking. No need for Bones to hurry,
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: so I sobbed. In fact, I doubt if it was
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: worth his while to go. And who is Tips? I'd
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: like to know to make such work about? If Tips
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: is anything like me, it's possible, I said, he won't
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: be over pleased to be dropped in upon at half
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: past three, after he's snug in bed, And if Bones
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: plagues him anyhow, squeaking and all the rest of it
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: as he was doing here just now, I propheses, as
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: I'll be a row and Tips will have the best
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: of it. Then, as my tears could never bring the
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: friendly phantom back, it seemed to me the proper thing
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: to mix another glass and sing the following coronac and
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: art thou gone, beloved ghost, best of familiars. Nay, then
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: farewell my duckling roast, fair wellfare well might tea, and
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: toasts my mere shoreman cigars. The hues of life are
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: dull and gray, the sweets of life insipid. When thou,
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: my charmer, art away old brick, or rather, let me
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: say old parallel epipid, instead of singing verse the third,
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: I ceased abruptly. Rather, but after such a splendid word,
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: I felt that it would be absurd to try it
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: any farther. So with a yawn, I went my way
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: to seek the welcome downy and slept and dreamed till
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: break of day, of Poltergeist and fetch and fay and
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: leprechrn am Brownie. For years I've not been visited by
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: any kind of sprite, Yet still they echo in my head,
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: those parting words so kindly said, old turnip top good night.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: End of Phantasmagoria Echoes from Ryman Reason by Lewis Carroll.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recorded by
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: Michael Max Echoes. The lady Clara Vere de Vere was
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: eight years old, she said, Every ringlet, lightly shaken, ran
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: itself in golden thread. She took a little porridguer of me.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: She shall not win renown, for the baseness of its
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: nature shall have the strength to drag her down. Sisters
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: and brothers, little maid. There stands the inspector at thy door,
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: like a dog. He hunts for boys who know not
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: two and two are four kind words are more than coronets,
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: she said, and wondering looked at me. It is the
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: dead unhappy night, and I must hurry home to TEA
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: end of echoes. A Sea Dirge from Rhyme and Reason
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox recording is in the public
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: domain recording by Michael Max A Sea Dirge. There are
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: certain things as a spider, a ghost, the income tax gout,
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: an umbrella for three that I hate. But the thing
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: that I hate them most is a thing they call
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: the sea poor, some soul water over the floor, ugly.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you'll allow it to be. Suppose it extended
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: a mile or more. That's very like the sea. Beat
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: a dog till it howls outright cruel, but all very
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: well for a spree. Suppose that he did so day
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: and night. That would be like the sea. I had
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: a vision of nursery maids. Tens of thousands passed by me,
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: all leading children with wood and spades. And this was
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: by the sea. Who invented those spades of wood? Who
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: was it to cut them out of the tree? None,
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: I think, but an idiot could, or one that loved
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: the sea. It is pleasant and dreamy, no doubt, to
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: float with thoughts as boundless and souls as free. But
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: suppose you are very unwell in the boat, how do
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: you like the sea? There is an insane that people
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: avoid whence is derived the verb to flea. Where have
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: you been by it? Most annoyed in lodgings by the sea.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: If you like your coffee with sand for dregs, a
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: decided hint of salt in your tea, and a fishy
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: taste in the very eggs, by all means, choose the sea.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: And if with these dainties to drink and eat, you
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: prefer not a vestige of grass or tree, and a
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: chronic state of wet in your feet, then I recommend
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: the sea. For I have friends who dwell by the coast.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: Pleasant friends they are to me. It is When I
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: am with them, I wonder most that any one likes
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: the sea. They take me a walk, though tired and stiff,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: to climb the heights. I madly agree, and after a
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: tumble or so from the cliff, they kindly suggest the sea.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: I try the rocks. And I think it cool that
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: they laugh with such an excess of glee as I
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: heavily slip into every pool that skirts the cold, cold sea.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: End of a sea Dirge The Carpet Knight from Rhyme
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: and Reason by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox recording is in
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: the public domain. Recording by Michael Maggs The Carpet Knight.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I have a horse, a right good horse. Nay do
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: I envy those who scour the plane in headlong course,
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: till sodden on their nose they light with unexpected force.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: It is a horse of clothes. I have a saddle,
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: says thy so with stirrups night to boot. I said
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: not that, I answer, no, it lacketh such I would.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: It is a mutton saddle low of the fleecy brute.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: I have a bit, a right good bit, as shall
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: be seen in time the jaws of horse. It will
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: not fit. Its use is more sublime, fair sir, how
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: deemest thou of it? It is this bit of rhyme
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: end of the Carpet Night High author's photographing from Rhyme
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: and Reason by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox recording is in
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: the public domain recording by Michael Maggs. In an age
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: of imitation. I can claim no special merit for this
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: slight attempt at doing what is known to be so easy.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: Any fairly practiced writer with the slightest ear for rhythm
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: could compose for hours together in the easy running meter
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: of the song of Hiawatha. Having then distinctly stated that
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: I challenged no attention in the following little poem to
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: its merely verbal jingle, I must beg the candid reader
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: to confine his criticism to its treatment of the subject.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: From his shoulder, Hiawatha took the camera of rosewood, made
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: of sliding folding rosewood, neatly put it all together. In
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: its case it lay compactly folded into nearly nothing. But
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: he opened out the hinges, pushed and pulled the joints
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: and hinges till it looked all squares and oblongs like
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: a complicated figure in the second book of Euclid. This
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: he perched upon a tripod, crouched beneath its dusky cover,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: stretched his hand, enforcing silence, said, be motionless, I beg
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: you mystic awful was the process. All the family in
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: order sat before him for their pictures, Each in turn,
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: as he was taken, volunteered his own suggestions, his ingenious suggestions. First,
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: the governor, the father. He suggested velvet curtains looped about
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: a massy pillar, and the corner of a table of
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: a rosewood dining table. He would hold a scroll of something,
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: hold it firmly in his left hand. He would keep
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: his right hand buried like Napoleon in his waistcoat. He
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: would contemplate the distance with a look of pensive meaning,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: as of ducks that die in tempests. Grand heroic was
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: the notion. Yet the picture failed, entirely, failed, because he
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: moved a little, moved because he couldn't help it. Next,
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: his better half took courage. She would have her picture taken.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: She came dressed beyond description, dressed in jewels and in satin,
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: far too gorgeous for an empress. Gracefully, she sat down
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: sideways with a simper, scarcely human, holding in a hand
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: a bouquet rather larger than a cabbage. All the while
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: that she was sitting still, the lady chatter chattered like
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: a monkey in the forest. Am I sitting still? She
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: asked him? Is my face enough in profile? Shall I
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: hold the bouquet higher? Will it come into the picture?
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: And the picture failed completely. Next the sun, the stunning
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: cantab he suggested curves of beauty, curves pervading all his figure,
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: which the eye might follow onward till they centered in
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: the breastpin, centered in the golden breastpin. He had learnt
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: it all from Ruskin, author of the Stones of Venice,
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: seven Lamps of Archaet, modern painters, and some others. And
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: perhaps he had not fully understood his author's meaning. But
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: whatever was the reason, all was fruitless, as the picture
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: ended in an utter failure. Next to him, the eldest daughter,
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: she suggested very little, only asked if he would take
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: her with a look of passive beauty. Her idea of
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: passive beauty was a squinting of the left eye, was
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: a drooping of the right eye, was a smile that
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: went up sideways to the corner of the nostrils. Hiawatha,
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: when she asked him, took no notice of the question,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: looked as if he hadn't heard it. But when pointedly
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: appealed to, smiled in his peculiar manner, coughed and said
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: it didn't matter, bit his lip and chained her subject.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: Nor in this was he mistaken, as the picture failed completely,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: so in turn the other sisters. Last, the youngest son,
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: was taken very rough and sick. His hair was very
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: round and red, His face was very dusty, was his
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: jacket very fidgety. His manner and his overbearing sisters called
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: him names he disapproved of, called him Johnny, daddy's darling,
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: called him Jackie scrubby schoolboy. And so awful was the picture.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: In comparison, the others seemed to once bewildered fancy to
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: have partially succeeded. Finally, my higher Wassa tumbled. All the
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: tribe together grouped is not the right expression, and as
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: happy chance would have it, did at last obtain a
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: picture where the faces all succeeded, each came out a
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: perfect likeness. Then they joined and all abused it unrestrainedly
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: abused it. As the worst and ugliest picture they could
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: possibly have dreamed of, giving one such strange expressions, sullen, stupid,
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: pert expressions. Really, any one would take us, any one
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: that did not know us, for the most unpleasant people.
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: Higher Watha seemed to think so, seemed to think it
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: not unlikely. Altogether rang their voices, angry, loud, discordant voices,
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: as of dogs that howl in concert, as of cats
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: that wail in chorus. But my higher Watha's patience, his politeness,
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: and his patience unaccountably had vanished, and he left that
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: happy party. Neither did he leave them slowly, with the
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: calm deliberation, the intense deliberation of a photographic artist. But
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: he left them in a hurry, left them in a
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: mighty hurry, stating that he would not stand it, stating
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: in emphatic language what he'd be before he'd stand it. Hurriedly,
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: he packed his boxes hurriedly. The porter trundled on a burrow,
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: all his boxes hurriedly. He took his ticket hurriedly. The
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: train received him. Thus departed Hiawatha. End of Hiawatha's photographing
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: melancholeta from Rhyme and Reason by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: recording is in the public domain. Recording by Michael Max
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: melancholeta with saddest music all day long, she soothed her
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: secret sorrow. At night, she sighed, I fear twas wrong
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: such cheerful words to borrow dearest, the sweeter sadder song
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: I'll sing to thee to morrow, I sang, but I
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: could not say that I was glad to hear it.
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: I left the house at break of day and did
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: not venture near it till time I hoped had worn
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: away her grief, for nought could cheer it. My dismal sister.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: Couldst thou know the wretched home thou keepest, thy brother
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: drowned in daily woe, is thankful when thou sleepest, For
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: if I laugh, however low, when thou to wake, thou weepest.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: I took my sister t'other day excuse the slang expression,
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: to saddler's wells to see the play, in hopes the
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: new impression might in her thoughts from grave to gay
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: effect some slight digression. I asked three gay young dogs
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: from town to join us in our folly, whose mirth
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: I thought might serve to drown my sister's melancholy. The
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: lively Jones, the sportive Brown, and Robinson the jolly. The
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: maid announced the meal in tones that I myself had
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: taught her meant to allay my sister's moans, Like oil
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: on troubled water. I rush'd to Jones, the lively Jones,
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: and begged him to escort her. Vainly He strove with
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: ready wit, to joke about the weather, to ventilate the
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: last on dit to quote the price of leather. She groaned.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: Here I and sorrow sit, let us lament together. I urged,
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: you're wasting time. You know delay will spoil the venison.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: My heart is wasted with my woe. There is no
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: rest in venice. On the bridge of sigh. She quoted
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: low from Byron and from Tennyson, I need not tell
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: of soup and fish. In solemn silence swallowed the sobs
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: that ushered in each dish, and its departure followed. Nor
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: yet my suicidal wished to be the cheese I hollowed.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: Some desperate attempts were made to start a conversation. Madam
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: the sportive Brown essayed which kind of recreation, hunting or fishing.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: Have you made your special occupation? Her lips curved downwards instantly,
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: as if of India rubber hounds in full cry. I like,
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: said she, Oh, how I longed to snubber of fish
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: up wails the one for me, It is so full
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: of blubber. The night's performance was King John. It's dull.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: She wept, and so so, and while I let her
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: tears flow on, she said, they soothed her woe. So
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: at length the curtain rose upon bombastez furioso in vain,
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: We roared in vain. We tried to rouse her into laughter.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: Her pensive glances wandered wide, from orchestra to rafter, Tier
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: upon tier, she said, and sighed, and silence followed after
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: end of Melancholetta a Valentine from Rym and Reason by
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: Recording by Michael Max a valentine sent to a friend
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: who had complained that I was glad enough to see
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: him when he came, but didn't seem to miss him
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: if he staid away. And cannot pleasures while they last
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: be actual unless when past they leave us shuddering and
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: aghast with anguish smarting, and cannot friends be firm and
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: fast and yet bear parting? And must I, then, at
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: friendship's call calmly resign the little all trifling I grant
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: it is, and small I have of gladness, and lend
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: my being to the thrall of gloom and sadness. And
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: think you that I should be dumb and full dolorum omnium,
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: excepting when you choose to come and share my dinner.
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: At other times be sour and glum and daily thinner.
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: Must he then only live to weep who prov'd his
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: friendship true and deep? By day a lonely shall wadow,
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: creep at night time, languish oft, raising in his broken
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: sleep the moan of anguish the lover. If for certain
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: days his fair one be denied, his gaze sinks not
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: in grief and wild a maze, but wise a woa.
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: He spends the time in writing lays and posts them
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: to her. And if the verse flow free and fast,
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: till even the poet is aghast, a touching valentine. At
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: last the post shall carry. When thirteen days are gone
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: and past of February, farewell, dear friend, And when we
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: meet in desert, waste, or crowded street. Perhaps before this
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: week shall fleet, perhaps to morrow, I trust to find
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: your heart The seat of wasting sorrow, end of a Valentine.
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: The three voices from Rymond Reason by Lewis Carroll. This
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Michael Maggs.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: The three voices. The first voice, he trilled a carol,
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: fresh and free. He laughed aloud, for very glee. There
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: came a breeze from off the sea. It passed athwart
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: the glooming flat. It fanned his forehead as he sat.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: It lightly bore away his hat, all to the feet
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: of one who stood like maid, enchanted in a wood,
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: frowning as darkly as she could. With huge umbrella lancam brown. Unerringly,
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: she pinned it down right through the center of the crown. Then,
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: with an aspect cold and grim, regardless of its battered rim,
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: she took it up and gave it him a while,
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: like one in dreams. He stood, then faltered forth, his
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: gratitude in words, just short of being rude, for it
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: had lost its shape and shine, and it had cost
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: him four and nine, and he was going out to
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: dine tad dine. She sneered in acid tone, to bend
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: thy being to a bone clothed in a radiance not
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: its own. The tear drop trickled to his chin. There
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: was a meaning in her grin that made him feel
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: on fire within term it not radiance, said, he tis
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: solid nutriment to me, Dinner is dinner. Tea is tea,
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: and she yea. So Yet, wherefore cease let I scant
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: knowledge find increase? Say men are men, and geese are geese?
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: He moaned. He knew not what to say. The thought
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: that I could get away strove with the thought. But
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: I must stay to dine. She shrieked in dragon wroth
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: to swallow wines or foam, and froth to simper at
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: a table cloth? Say, can thy noble spirit stoop to
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: join the gormandizing troop, who find a solace in the soup?
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: Canst thou desire or pie or puff thy? Well bred
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: manners were enough without such gross material stuff. Yet well
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: bred men, he faintly said, are not unwilling to be fed,
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: nor are they well without the bread. Her visage scorched him.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: Ere she spoke, There are she said, a kind of
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: folk who have no horror of a joke. Such wretches live.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: They take their share of common earth and common air.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: We come across them here and there we grant them.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: There is no escape, a sort of semi human shape
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: suggestive of the manlike ape. Of all such theories, said he.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: One fixed exception there must be. That is the present company. Baffled,
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: she gave a wolfish bark. He, aiming blindly in the dark,
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: with random shaft, had pierced the mark. She felt that
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: her defeat was plain, yet madly strove with might and
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: main to get the upper hand. Again, fixing her eyes
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: upon the beach, as though unconscious of his speech, she said,
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: each gives to more than each. He could not answer,
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: yea or nay. He faltered her gifts may pass away,
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: yet knew not what he meant to say. If that
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: be so, she straight replied, each heart with each doth
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: coincide what boots it? For the world is wide, that
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: the world is but a thought, said he. The vast,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: unfathomable sea is but a notion unto me, And darkly
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: fell her answer, dread upon his unresisting head, like half
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: a hundredweight of lead. The good and great must ever,
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: shun that reckless and abandon one who stoops to perpetrate
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: a pun. The man that smoke, that reads the times,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: that goes to Christmas pantomimes, is capable of any crimes.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: He felt it was his turn to speak, and with
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: a shamed and crimson cheek, moaned, this is harder than Bezique.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: But when she asked him wherefore so, he felt his
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: very whiskers glow and frankly owned, I do not know.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: While like broad waves of golden grain or sunlit hues
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: on cloistered pain, his color came and went again, pitying
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: his obvious distress. Yet with a tinge of bitterness, she said,
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: the more exceeds the less. A truth of such undoubted
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: weight he urged, and so extreme in date it were
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: superfluous state roused into sudden passion. She in tone of
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: cold malignity to others yea, but not to thee. But
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: when she saw him quail and quake, and when he
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: urg'd for pity's sake once more, in gentle tones, she spake, thought,
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: in the mind doth still abide, that is by intellect supplied,
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: and within that idea doth hide. And he that yearns
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: the truth to know. Still further inwardly may go and
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: find idea from notion flow. And thus the chain that
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: sage is sought is to a glory, a circle wrought
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: for notion hath its source in thought. So pass they
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: on with even pace, Yet gradually one might trace a
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: shadow growing on his face. The second voice they walked
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: beside the wave worn beach. Her tongue was very apt
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: to teach, and now and then he did beseech she
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: would abate her dulcet tone, because the talk was all
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: her own, and he was dull as any drone. She urged,
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: no cheese is made of chalk, And ceaseless flowed her
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: dreary talk, tuned to the footfall of a walk. Her
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: voice was very full and rich, And when at last
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: she asked him which it mounted to its highest pitch,
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: he a bewildered answer gave. Drowned in the sullen, moaning wave,
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: lost in the echoes of the cave, he answered her
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: he knew not what like shaft from bow at random
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: shot he spoke, but she regarded not. She waited not
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: for his reply, but whither downward lead an eye went
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: on as if he were not by sound argument and
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: grave defense, Strange questions raised on why and whence, and
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: wildly tangled evidence. When he, with racked and whirling brain,
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: feebly implored her to explain, she simply said it all again,
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: wretched with an agony intense, he spake, neglecting sound and sense,
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: and careless of all consequence. Mind I believe is essence
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: and abstract. That is an accident which we that is
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: to say, I meant, when, with quick breath and cheeks
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: all flushed at length, his speech was somewhat hushed. She
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: looked at him, and he was crushed. It needed not
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: her calm reply. She fixed him with a stony eye,
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: and he could neither fight nor fly, while she dissected
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: word by word his speech, half guessed at and half heard,
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: as might a cat a little bird. Then, having wholly
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: overthrown his fuse and stripped them to the bone, proceeded
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: to unfold her own. Shall man be man? And shall
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: he miss of other thoughts? No thought but this harmonious
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: dews of sober bliss, what boots it? Shall his fevered eye,
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: through towering nothingness decry the grisly phantom hurry by, and
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: here dumb shrieks that fill the air, see mouths that gape,
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: and eyes that stare, and redden in the dusky glare
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: the meadows breathing amber light, the darkness toppling from the
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: height the feathery train of granite night. Shall he grown
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: gray among his peers, through the thick curtain of his tears,
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: catch glimpses of his earlier years, And hear the sands
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: he knew of your old shufflings on the sanded floor,
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: old knuckles tapping at the door. Yet still before him
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: as he flies, one pallid form shall ever rise and
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: bodying forth in glassy eyes, the vision of a vanished
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: good low peering through the tangled wood, shall freeze the
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: current of his blood still from each fact. With skin
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: uncouth and savage rapture like a tooth, she wrenched some slow,
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: reluctant truth till like a silent water mill, when summer
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: suns have dried the rill, she reached a full stop
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: and was still dead. Calm succeeded to the fuss, as
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: when a loaded omnibus has reached the railway terminus, When
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: for the tumult of the street is heard, the engine
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: stifle beat, the velvet tread of porter's feet with glance
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: that ever sought the ground. She moved her lips without
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: a sound, and every now and then she frowned. He
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: gazed upon the sleeping sea, and joyed in its tranquility,
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: and in that silence dead. But she to muse a
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: little space did seem then like the echo of a dream.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: Harped back upon her threadbare seam, Still an attentive ear,
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: he leant, but could not fathom what she meant. She
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: was not deep nor eloquent. He marked the ripple on
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: the sand. The even swaying of her hand was all
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: that he could understand. He saw in dreams a drawing
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: room where thirteen wretches sat in gloom, waiting. He thought
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: he knew for whom. He saw them drooping here and there,
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: each feebly huddled on a chair in attitudes of blank despair.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: Oysters were not more mute than they for all their
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: brains were pumped away, and they had nothing more to say,
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: save one who groaned, three hours are gone, who shrieked,
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: we'll wait no longer, John, tell them to set the
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: dinner on. The vision passed, the ghosts were fled. He
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: saw once more that woman dread. He heard once more
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: the words she said. He left her, and he turned aside.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: He sat and watched the coming tide across the shores
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: so newly dried. He wondered at the water's clear, the
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: breeze that whispered in his ear, the billows heaving far
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: and near, and why he had so long preferred to
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: hang upon her every word. In truth, he said, it
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: was absurd. The third voice not long this transport held
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: its place within a little moment's space. Quick tears were
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: reining down his face. His heart stood still, aghast with fear.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: A wordless voice, nor far nor near, he seemed to hear,
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: and not to hear tears kindle, not the doubtful spark.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: If so, why not of this remark? The bearings are
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: profoundly dark? Her speech, he said, hath caused this pain easier?
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: I count it to explain the jargon of the howling
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: main or stretched beside some babbling brook to corn with
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: inexpressive look, an unintelligible book lo spake the voice within
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: his head in words imagined more than said, soundless, as
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: ghosts intended tread. If thou art duller than before, why
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: quittethst thou the voice of law? Why not endure expecting
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: more rather than that? He groaned, aghast, I'd writhe in
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: depths of cavern vast, some loathly vampires, rich repast, twere
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: hard it answered, themes immense to coop within the narrow
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: fence that rings thy scant intelligence. Not so he urged,
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: nor once alone. But there was something in her tone
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: that chilled me to the very bone. Her style was
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: anything but clear, and most unpleasantly severe. Her epithets were
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: very queer, and yet so grand were her replies. I
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: could not choose but deem her wise. I did not
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: dare to criticize, nor did I leave her till she
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: went so deep in tangled argument that all my powers
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: of thought were spent. A little whistle inly slid. Yet
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: truth is truth. You know you did a little wink
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: beneath the lid, and sickened with excess of dread, prone
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: to the dust, he bent his head and lay like
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: one three quarters dead. The whisper left him like a breeze,
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: lost in the depths of leafy trees, left him by
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: no means at his ease. Once more, he weltered in despair,
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: with hands through denser matted hair, more tightly clenched than
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: then they were, when bathed in dawn of living red majestic,
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: frowned to the mountain head. Tell me my fault, was
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: all he said, when at high noon the blazing sky
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: scorched in his head, each haggard eye, then keenest rose
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: his weary cry. And when at eve the unpitying sun
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: smiled grimly on the solemn fun a lack, he sighed,
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: what have I done? But saddest, darkest was the sight
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: when the cold grasp of leaden night dashed him to
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: earth and held him tight, tortured, unaided, and alone. Thunders
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: were silenced to his grown bagpipe, sweet music to its tone.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: What ever, thus, in dismal round shall pain a mystery
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: profound pursue me like a sleepless hound, with crimson dushed
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: and eager jaws, Me still in ignorance of the cause,
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: unknowing what I broke of laws. The whisper to his
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: ear did seem like echoed flow of silent stream, oreshadow
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: of forgotten dream, the whisper trembling in the wind. Her
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: fate with thine was intertwined, so spake it in his
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: inner mind. Each orbed on, each a baleful star, each
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: proved the other's blight, and bar each unto each were
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: best most far yea each to each was worse than foe.
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: Thou a scared dullard gibbering low, and she an avalanche
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: of woe. And of the three voices Tamar converrazione from
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: Rymond Reason by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox recording is in
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: the public domain recording by Michael Temar CONVERRAZIONI. Why is
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 1: it that poetry has never yet been subjected to that
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: process of dilution which has proved so advantageous to her
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: sister art music that diluta gives us first a few
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: notes of some well known air, and then a dozen
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 1: bars of his own, then a few more notes of
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: the air, and so on alternately, thus saving the listener,
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: if not from all risk of recognizing the melody at all,
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 1: at least from the two exciting transports which it might
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: produce in a more concentrated form. The process is termed
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: setting by composers and anyone that has ever experienced the
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: emotion of being unexpectedly set down in a heap of
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: mortar will recognize the truthfulness of this happy phrase. For true,
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: just as the genuine epicure lingers lovingly over a morsel
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: of supreme venison, whose every fiber seems to murmur exchelcior
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: yet swallows air, returning to the toothsome dainty great mouthfuls
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: of oatmeal, porridge and winkles. And just as the perfect
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: connoisseur in Claret permits himself one delicate sip and then
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: tosses off a pint or more of boarding school beer.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: So also I never loved a dear gazelle, nor anything
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: that cost me much. High prices profit those who sell,
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: But why should I be fond of such? To glad
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: me with his soft black eye, my son comes trotting
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: home from school. He's had a fight, but can't tell why.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: He always was a little fool, But when he care
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: aim to know me well, he kicked me out her
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: testy sire. And when I stained my hair, that bell
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: might note the change and thus admire and love me.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: It was sure to die a muddy green, all staring blue,
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: whilst one might trace with half an eye the still
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 1: triumphant carrot through end of tema Converrazione. A Game of
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: Fives from Rhyme and Reason by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 1: recording is in the public domain. Recording by Michael Max
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: A Game of fives. Five little girls of five, four, three,
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: two one, rolling on the hearth rug full of tricks
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 1: and fun. Five rosy girls in years from ten to six,
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 1: sitting down to lessons. No more time for tricks. Five
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: growing girls from fifteen to eleven, music, drawing, languages, and food.
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: Enough for seven. Five winsome girls from twenty to sixteen.
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: Each young man that calls, I say, now, tell me
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 1: which you mean. Five dashing girls, the youngest twenty one.
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: But if nobody proposes, what is there to be done?
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: Five showy girls? But thirty is an age when girls
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: may be engaging, but they don't somehow engage Five dressy
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: girls of thirty one, or more so, gracious to the
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: shy young men they snubbed so much before. Five passe
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: girls their age. Well, no mind, we jog along together
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: like the rest of humankind. But the quondam careless bachelor
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: begins to think he knows the answer to that ancient problem.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: How the money goes? End of a game of fives
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: Poeta fit no nasketor from Rhyme and Reason by Lewis Carroll.
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: Michael Maggs Poeta fit no Nasketor how shall I be
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: a poet? How shall I write? In rhyme? You told
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: me once the very wish partook of the sublime? Then
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 1: tell me how don't put me off with your another time.
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 1: The old man smiled to see him, to hear his
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: sudden sound. He liked the lad to speak his mind enthusiastically,
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: and thought, there's no hundrum in him, nor any shilly shully.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: And would you be a poet before you've been to school? Ah? Well,
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: I hardly thought you so absolute a fool. First, learn
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: to be spasmodic, A very simple rule. For first you
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: write a sentence, and then you chop it small. Then
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: mix the bits and sort them out just as they
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: chanced to fall. The order of the phrases makes no
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 1: difference at all. Then if you'd be impressive, remember what
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: I say that abstract qualities begin with capitals alway, the true,
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: the good, the beautiful, those are the things that pay
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: Next when you are describing a shape or sound or tint.
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: Don't state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint,
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: and learn to look at all things with a sort
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: of mental squint. For instance, if I wished, sir of
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: mutton pies to tell, should I say, dreams of fleecy
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 1: flocks pent in a wheatn cell? Why? Yes, the old
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 1: man said that phrase would answer very well. Then. Fourthly,
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 1: there are epithets that suit with any word, as well
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: as harvese redding sauce with fish or flesh or bird.
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 1: Of these wild, lonely, weary, strange are much to be preferred.
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: And will it do, oh, will it do to take
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: them in a lump as the wild man went his
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: weary way to a strange and lonely pump. Nay, nay.
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 1: You must not hastily to such conclusions. Jump. Such epithets
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: like pepper give zest to what you write. And if
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: you strew them sparely, they wet the appetite. But if
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: you lay them on too thick, you spoil the matter.
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: Quite Last, as to the arrangement your reader you should
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: show him, must take what information he can get, and
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: look for no immature disclosure of the drift and purpose
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: of your poem. Therefore, to test his patience how much
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: he can endure. Mention no places, names, or dates. And evermore,
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: be sure throughout the poem to be found concernsistently obscure.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: First fix upon the limit to which it shall extend.
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 1: Then fill it up with padding. Beg sum of any friend,
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 1: your great sensation stanza you place towards the end. And
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 1: what is a sensation? Grandfather? Tell me, pray, I think
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: I never heard the words so used before to day,
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 1: be kind enough to mention one exemply grazier. And the
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 1: old man, looking sadly across the garden lawn, where here
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 1: and there a dewdrop yet glittered in the dawn, said,
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 1: go to the Adelphi and see the colleen Bourne. The
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: word is due to Bosico. The theory is his, where
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: life becomes a spasm and history a whiz. If that
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 1: is not sensation, I don' know what it is. Now
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 1: try your hand, ere fancy have lost its present glow.
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: And then his grandson added, we'll publish it, you know,
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 1: green cloth, gold lettered at the back in duo decimo.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: Then proudly smiled that old man, to see the eager
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 1: lad rush madly for his pen and ink, and for
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: his blotting pad. But when he thought of publishing, his
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: face grew stern and sad, and of poeta fit no naskeuteur.
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 1: Preface to the Hunting of the Snark from Ryme and
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 1: Reason by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox recording is in the
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 1: public domain recording by Michael Maggs, The Hunting of the Snark,
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 1: an agony in eight fits preface. If and the thing
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 1: is wildly possible, the charge of writing nonsense were ever
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 1: brought against the author of this brief but instructive poem,
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: it would be based. I feel convinced on the line
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 1: in page hundred forty four, then the bowsprit got mixed
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: with the rudder. Sometimes in view of this painful possibility,
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 1: I will not, as I might appeal indignantly to my
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 1: other writings as a proof that I am incapable of
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: such a deed. I will not, as I might point
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 1: to the strong moral purpose of this poem itself, to
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: the arismatical principle so cautiously inculcated in it, or to
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 1: its noble teachings in natural history. I will take the
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 1: more prosaic course of simply explaining how it happened. The bellman,
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 1: who was almost morbidly sensitive about appearances, used to have
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 1: the bowsprit unshipped once or twice a week to be revarnished,
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: and it more than once happened when the time came
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 1: for replacing it, that no one on board could remember
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 1: which end of the ship it belonged to. They knew
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: it was not of the slightest use to appeal to
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 1: the bellman about it. He would only refer to his
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 1: naval code and read out in pathetic tones admiralty instructions
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 1: which none of them had ever been able to understand.
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: So it generally ended in its being fastened on anyhow
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: across the rudder the helmsman footnote one. This office was
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 1: usually undertaken by the boots, who found in it a
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 1: refuge from the baker's constant complaints about the insufficient blacking
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 1: of his three pairs of boots. Used to stand by
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 1: with tears in his eyes. He knew it was all
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 1: wrong that alas Rule forty two of the code, no
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 1: one shall speak to the man at the helm had
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 1: been completed by the bellman himself with the words and
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 1: the man at the helm shall speak to no one,
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 1: so remonstrance was impossible, and no steering could be done
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: till the next varnishing day. During these bewildering intervals, the
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 1: ship usually sailed backwards, as this poem is to some
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: extent connected with the lay of the jabberwock. Let me
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 1: take this opportunity of answering a question that has often
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 1: been asked me, how to pronounce slizy toves. The eye
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 1: in slizy is long as in rise, and toves is
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 1: pronounced so as to rhyme with grow again. The first
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: O in borrow goves is pronounced like the O in borrow.
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 1: I have heard people try to give it the sound
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: of the O in worry. Such is human perversity. This
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: also seems a fitting occasion to notice the other hard
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: words in that poem, Humpty dumpty. Theory of two meanings
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 1: packed into one word like a portmanteau seems to be
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 1: the right explanation for all. For instance, take the two
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 1: words fuming and furious. Make up your mind that you
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 1: will say both words, but leave it unsettled which you
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: will say first. Now open your mouth and speak. If
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 1: your thoughts inclined ever so little towards fuming, you will
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 1: say fuming, furious. If they turn even by a hair's
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: breadth towards furious, you will say furious fuming. But if
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 1: you have that rarest of gifts, a perfectly balanced mind,
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 1: you will say frumious. Supposing that when Pistol uttered the
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 1: well known words under which King Bezonian speak or die,
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: Justice Shallow had felt certain it was either William or Richard,
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 1: but had not been able to settle witch so that
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: he could not possibly say either name before the other.
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 1: Can it be doubted that rather than die, he would
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 1: have gasped out rilchium and of preface to the Hunting
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 1: of the Snark. The Hunting of the Snark from Rhyme
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: and Reason by Lewis Carroll. The Brovox recording is in
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 1: the public domain. Recording by Michael Maggs fit the first
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 1: the landing, Just the place for us snark, the bellman
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 1: cried as he landed his crew with care, supporting each
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 1: man on the top of the tide by a finger
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 1: entwined in his hair. Just the place for us snark.
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 1: I have said it twice that alone should encourage the crew.
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 1: Just the place for us snuck. I have said it thrice.
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 1: What I tell you three times is true. The crew
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 1: was complete. It included a boots, a maker of bonnets
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 1: and hoods, a barrister brought to arrange their disputes, and
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: a broker to value their goods. A billiard marker whose
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 1: skill was immense might perhaps have won more than his share,
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 1: but a banker engaged at enormous expense, had the whole
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: of their cash in his care. There was also a
• 1:32:08
  Speaker 1: beaver that paced on the deck, or would sit making
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 1: lace in the bow, and had, often, the bellman said,
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 1: saved them from wreck, though none of the sailors knew how.
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 1: There was one who was famed for the number of
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 1: things he forgot when he entered the ship. His umbrella,
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 1: his watch, all his jewels and rings, and the clothes
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 1: he had brought for the trip. He had forty two boxes,
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 1: all carefully packed, with his name painted clearly on each,
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 1: but since he omitted to mention the fact they were
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 1: left all behind on the beach, the loss of his
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 1: clothes hardly mattered, because he had seven coats on when
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 1: he came with three pairs of boots. But the worst
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 1: of it was he had wholly forgotten his name, he
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 1: would answer to hi or any loud cry, such as
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 1: fry me or fritter my wig, to what you may
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 1: call him, or what was his name, but especially thing
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 1: a my jig, while for those who preferred a more
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 1: forcible word he had different names. From these. His intimate
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 1: friends called him candlens, and his enemies toasted cheese. His
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 1: form is ungainly, his intellect small, so the Bellman would
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 1: often remark, but his courage is perfect, and that, after all,
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 1: is the thing that one needs. With a snark, he
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 1: would joke with hyaenas, returning their stare with an impudent
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 1: wag of the head. And he once went a walk poor.
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: I'm poor with a bear just to keep up its spirits,
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 1: he said. He came as a baker, but owned when
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 1: too late, and it drove the poor Bellman half mad.
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 1: He could only bake bridecake, for which I may state
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 1: no materials were to be had. The last of the
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 1: crew needs especial remark. Though he looked an incredible dunce.
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 1: He had just one idea, but that one being snark,
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 1: the good Bellman engaged him at once. He came as
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 1: a butcher, but gravely declared when the ship had been
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 1: sailing a week, he could only kill beavers. The bellman
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 1: looked scared and was almost too frightened to speak, but
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 1: at length he explained in a tremulous tone, there was
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 1: only one beaver on board, and that was a tame
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 1: one he had of his own, whose death would be
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 1: deeply deplored. The beaver, who happened to hear the remark, protested,
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 1: with tears in its eyes that not even the rapture
• 1:35:18
  Speaker 1: of hunting the snark could atone for that dismal surprise.
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 1: It strongly advised that the butcher should be conveyed in
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: a separate ship, but the bellman declared that would never
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 1: agree with the plans he had made for the trip.
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 1: Navigation was always a difficult art, though, with only one
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 1: ship and one bell, and he feared he must really
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 1: decline for his part undertaking another as well. The beaver's
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 1: best course was, no doubt, to procure a second hand
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 1: daggerproof coat, the baker advised it, and next to insure
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 1: its life in some office of note. This the banker suggested,
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 1: and offered for hire on moderate terms or for sale
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 1: two excellent policies, one against fire and one against damage
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 1: from hail. Yet still, ever after that sorrowful day, whenever
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 1: the butcher was by the beaver kept looking the opposite way,
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 1: and appeared unaccountably shy fit. The second the bellman's speech,
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 1: the bellman himself, they all praised to the skies, such
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 1: a carriage, such ease, and such grace, such solemnity. Too,
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 1: one could see he was wise the moment one looked
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 1: in his face. He had brought a large map representing
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 1: the sea without the least vestige of land, and the
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 1: crew were much pleased when they found it to be
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 1: a map. They could all understand what's the good of
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 1: Mercata's north poles and equators, tropics, zones and meridian lines.
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: So the bellman would cry, and the crew would reply,
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 1: they are merely conventional signs. Other maps are such shapes
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 1: with their islands and capes. But we've got our brave
• 1:37:34
  Speaker 1: captain to sank. So the crew would protest that he's
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 1: brought us the best, a perfect and absolute blank. This
• 1:37:44
  Speaker 1: was charming, no doubt, but they shortly found out that
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 1: the captain they trusted so well had only one notion
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 1: for crossing the ocean, and that was to tingle his bell.
• 1:37:59
  Speaker 1: He was thoughtful and grave, but the orders he gave
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 1: were enough to bewilder a crew when he cried, steer
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 1: to starboard, but keeper had larboered, what on earth was
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 1: the helmsman to do? Then the bowsprit got mixed with
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 1: the rudder, sometimes as sing as the bellman remarked that
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 1: frequently happens in tropical climes when a vessel is so
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 1: to speak, snarked. But the principal failing occurred in the sailing,
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 1: and the bellman, perplexed and distressed, said he had hoped,
• 1:38:39
  Speaker 1: at least, when the wind blew due east, that the
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 1: ship would not travel due west. But the danger was past.
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 1: They had landed at last with their boxes, portmanteaus, and bags.
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 1: Yet at first sight the crew were not pleased with
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 1: the view, which consisted of chasms and crags. The bellman
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 1: perceived that their spirits were low, and repeated in musical
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 1: tones some jokes he had kept for a season of woe.
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 1: But the crew would do nothing but groan. He served
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 1: out some grog with a liberal hand and bade them
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 1: sit down on the beach, and they could not but
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: own that their captain looked grand as he stood and
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 1: delivered his speech. Friends, Romans and countrymen, lend me your ears.
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 1: They were all of them fond of quotations. So they
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 1: drank to his health, and they gave him three cheers
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 1: while he served out additional rations. We have sailed many months.
• 1:39:49
  Speaker 1: We have sailed many weeks, four weeks to the month
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 1: you may mark. But never as yet tis your captain
• 1:39:58
  Speaker 1: who speaks. Have we caught the least glimpse of a snark?
• 1:40:03
  Speaker 1: We have sailed many weeks, we have sailed many days,
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 1: seven days to the week. I allow, but a snark
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 1: on the which we might lovingly gaze we have never
• 1:40:16
  Speaker 1: beheld till now. Come listen, my men. Well, I tell
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 1: you again the five unmistakable marks by which you may
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 1: know wheresoever you go, the warranted genuine snarks. Let us
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 1: take them in order. The first is the taste, which
• 1:40:39
  Speaker 1: is meager and hollow, but crisp, like a coat that
• 1:40:43
  Speaker 1: is rather too tight in the waist. With a flavor
• 1:40:47
  Speaker 1: or one of the wisp its habit of getting up late.
• 1:40:51
  Speaker 1: You'll agree that it carries too far when I say
• 1:40:55
  Speaker 1: that it frequently breakfasts at five o'clock tea and dines
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 1: on the following day. The third is its slowness in
• 1:41:05
  Speaker 1: taking a jest. Should you happen to venture on one,
• 1:41:09
  Speaker 1: it will sigh like a thing that is deeply distressed,
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 1: and it always looks grave at a pun. The fourth
• 1:41:19
  Speaker 1: is its fondness for bathing machines, which it constantly carries about,
• 1:41:25
  Speaker 1: and believes that they add to the beauty of scenes,
• 1:41:30
  Speaker 1: a sentiment open to doubt. The fifth is ambition. It
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 1: next will be right to describe each particular batch, distinguishing
• 1:41:43
  Speaker 1: those that have feathers and bite from those that have
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 1: whiskers and scratch. For although common snarks do no manner
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 1: of harm, yet I feel it my duty to say
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 1: some are boot chums. The bellman broke off in alarm,
• 1:42:03
  Speaker 1: for the baker had fainted away fit. The third the
• 1:42:10
  Speaker 1: baker's tale. They roused him with muffins, They roused him
• 1:42:15
  Speaker 1: with ice, They roused him with mustard and cress. They
• 1:42:19
  Speaker 1: roused him with jam and judicious advice. They set him
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 1: conundrums to guess. When at length he sat up and
• 1:42:28
  Speaker 1: was able to speak his sad story, he offered to tell,
• 1:42:32
  Speaker 1: and the bellman cried silence, not even a shriek, and
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 1: excitedly tingled his bell. There was silent, supreme, not a shriek,
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 1: not a scream, scarcely even a hole or a groan.
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 1: As the man they called ho told his story of
• 1:42:51
  Speaker 1: woe in an antediluvian tone. My father and mother were honest,
• 1:42:59
  Speaker 1: though poor. Skip all that, cried the bellman in haste.
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 1: If it once becomes dark, there's no chance of a snark.
• 1:43:08
  Speaker 1: We have hardly a minute to waste. I skip forty years,
• 1:43:13
  Speaker 1: said the baker in tears, and proceed without further remark
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 1: to the day when you took me aboard of your
• 1:43:21
  Speaker 1: ship to help you in hunting the snark. A dear
• 1:43:26
  Speaker 1: uncle of mine, after whom I was named, remarked when
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 1: I bade him farewell. Oh Skip, your dear uncle, the
• 1:43:36
  Speaker 1: bellman exclaimed, as he angrily tingled his bell. He remarked
• 1:43:42
  Speaker 1: to me then said that, mildest of men, if your
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 1: snark be a snark, that is right, fetch it home.
• 1:43:51
  Speaker 1: By all means. You may serve it with greens, and
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 1: it's handy for striking a light. You may seek it
• 1:43:59
  Speaker 1: with thimble and seek it with care. You may hunt
• 1:44:03
  Speaker 1: it with forks and hope. You may threaten its life
• 1:44:07
  Speaker 1: with a railway share. You may charm it with smiles
• 1:44:11
  Speaker 1: and soap. That's exactly the method. The bellman bowled, in
• 1:44:17
  Speaker 1: hasty parenthesis, cried, that's exactly the way I have always
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 1: been told that the capture of snark should be tried.
• 1:44:28
  Speaker 1: But oh, beamish nephew, beware of the day if your
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 1: snark be a boojum, for then you will softly and
• 1:44:38
  Speaker 1: suddenly vanish away and never be met with again. It
• 1:44:44
  Speaker 1: is this. It is this that oppresses my soul when
• 1:44:49
  Speaker 1: I think of my uncle's last words, and my heart
• 1:44:54
  Speaker 1: is like nothing so much as a bowl brimming over
• 1:44:57
  Speaker 1: with quivering kurds. It is this. It is this. We
• 1:45:02
  Speaker 1: have had that before, the Bellman indignantly said, and the
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 1: baker replied, let me say it once more. It is this.
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 1: It is this that I dread. I engage with the
• 1:45:17
  Speaker 1: snark every night after dark in a dreamy, delirious fight.
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: I serve it with greens in those shadowy scenes, and
• 1:45:28
  Speaker 1: I use it for striking a light. But if ever
• 1:45:33
  Speaker 1: I meet with a boojum that day in a moment
• 1:45:38
  Speaker 1: of this, I am sure I shall softly and suddenly
• 1:45:43
  Speaker 1: vanish away. And the notion I cannot endure fit the
• 1:45:51
  Speaker 1: fourth the hunting. The bellman looked uffish and wrinkled his brow.
• 1:45:58
  Speaker 1: If only you'd spoken before, or it's excessively awkward to
• 1:46:02
  Speaker 1: mention it now with the snark so to speak at
• 1:46:06
  Speaker 1: the door, we should all of us grieve, as you
• 1:46:10
  Speaker 1: well may believe, if you never were met with again.
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 1: But surely, my man, when the voyage began, you might
• 1:46:17
  Speaker 1: have suggested it. Then it's excessively awkward to mention it now,
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: as I think I've already remarked, And the man they
• 1:46:28
  Speaker 1: called Hi replied with a sigh. I informed you the
• 1:46:33
  Speaker 1: day we embarked. You may charge me with murder or
• 1:46:38
  Speaker 1: want of sense. We are all of us weak at times,
• 1:46:42
  Speaker 1: but the slightest approach to a false pretense was never
• 1:46:46
  Speaker 1: among my crimes. I said it in Hebrew, I said
• 1:46:50
  Speaker 1: it in Dutch, I said it in German and Greek.
• 1:46:55
  Speaker 1: But I wholly forgot, and it vexes me much. That
• 1:47:00
  Speaker 1: ingolish is what you speak. Tis our pitiful tale, said
• 1:47:05
  Speaker 1: the bellman, whose face had grown longer at every word.
• 1:47:10
  Speaker 1: But now that you've stated the whole of your case,
• 1:47:13
  Speaker 1: more debate would be simply absurd. The rest of my speech,
• 1:47:20
  Speaker 1: He explained to his men, you shall hear when I've
• 1:47:24
  Speaker 1: leisure to speak it. But the snark is at hand,
• 1:47:28
  Speaker 1: let me tell you again, tis your glorious duty to
• 1:47:32
  Speaker 1: seek it, To seek it with symbols, to seek it
• 1:47:36
  Speaker 1: with care, to pursue it with forks and hope, to
• 1:47:40
  Speaker 1: threaten its life with a railway share, to charm it
• 1:47:44
  Speaker 1: with smiles and soap. For the snark's a peculiar creature
• 1:47:51
  Speaker 1: that won't be caught in a commonplace way. Do all
• 1:47:55
  Speaker 1: that you know, and try all that you don't. Not
• 1:47:58
  Speaker 1: a chance must be waste to day, for England expects
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 1: I forbear to proceed. Tis a maxim tremendous but trite,
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 1: and you best be unpacking the things that you need
• 1:48:13
  Speaker 1: to rig yourselves out for the fight. Then the banker
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 1: endorsed a blank check, which he crossed, and changed his
• 1:48:23
  Speaker 1: loose silver for notes. The baker with care, combed his
• 1:48:28
  Speaker 1: whiskers and hair, and shook the dust out of his coats.
• 1:48:33
  Speaker 1: The boots and the broker were sharpening a spade, each
• 1:48:37
  Speaker 1: working the grindstone in turn, but the beaver went on
• 1:48:42
  Speaker 1: making lace and displayed no interest in the concern. Though
• 1:48:48
  Speaker 1: the barrister tried to appeal to its pride, and vainly
• 1:48:52
  Speaker 1: proceeded to cite a number of cases in which making
• 1:48:56
  Speaker 1: laces have been proved an infringement of right. The maker
• 1:49:01
  Speaker 1: of bonnets ferociously planned a novel arrangement of bows, while
• 1:49:07
  Speaker 1: the billiard marker, with quivering hand, was chalking the tip
• 1:49:12
  Speaker 1: of his nose. But the butcher turned nervous and dressed
• 1:49:18
  Speaker 1: himself fine with yellow kid gloves and a ruff said
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 1: he felt it exactly like going to dine, which the
• 1:49:27
  Speaker 1: bellman declared was all stuff. Introduce me, now there's a
• 1:49:33
  Speaker 1: good fellow, he said, if we happened to meet it together,
• 1:49:37
  Speaker 1: And the bellman, sagaciously, nodding his head, said that must
• 1:49:42
  Speaker 1: depend on the weather. The beaver went simply gallumphing about
• 1:49:48
  Speaker 1: at seeing the butcher so shy, and even the baker,
• 1:49:53
  Speaker 1: though stupid and stout, made an effort to wink with
• 1:49:57
  Speaker 1: one eye be a man, cried the bullman in wrath
• 1:50:01
  Speaker 1: as he heard the butcher beginning to sob Should we
• 1:50:06
  Speaker 1: meet with a job job that desperate bird, we shall
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 1: need all our strength for the job. Fit the fifth
• 1:50:16
  Speaker 1: the Beaver's lesson. They sought it with thimbles. They sought
• 1:50:22
  Speaker 1: it with care, They pursued it with forks and hope.
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 1: They threatened its life with a railway share. They charmed
• 1:50:29
  Speaker 1: it with smiles and soap. Then the butcher contrived an
• 1:50:34
  Speaker 1: ingenious plan for making a separ at sally, and had
• 1:50:39
  Speaker 1: fixed on a spot unfrequented by man, a dismal and
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 1: desolate valley. But the very same plan to the beaver occurred.
• 1:50:49
  Speaker 1: It had chosen the very same place, Yet neither betrayed
• 1:50:55
  Speaker 1: by a sign or a word the disgust that appeared
• 1:50:58
  Speaker 1: in his face. Each thought he was thinking of nothing
• 1:51:03
  Speaker 1: but snark and the glorious work of the day, and
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 1: each tried to pretend that he did not remark that
• 1:51:11
  Speaker 1: the other was going that way. But the valley grew
• 1:51:15
  Speaker 1: narrow and narrower still, and the evening got darker and colder,
• 1:51:20
  Speaker 1: Till merely from nervousness, not from goodwill, they marched along
• 1:51:26
  Speaker 1: shoulder to shoulder. Then a scream, shrill and high, rent
• 1:51:31
  Speaker 1: the shuddering sky, and they knew that some danger was near.
• 1:51:36
  Speaker 1: The beaver turned pale to the tip of its tail,
• 1:51:40
  Speaker 1: and even the butcher felt queer. He thought of his childhood,
• 1:51:45
  Speaker 1: left far far behind that blissful and innocent state. The
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 1: sound so exactly recalled to his mind. A pencil that
• 1:51:55
  Speaker 1: squeaks on a slate tis the voice of the job Job,
• 1:52:00
  Speaker 1: he suddenly cried, this man that they used to call dunce.
• 1:52:04
  Speaker 1: As the bellman would tell you. He added, with pride,
• 1:52:08
  Speaker 1: I have uttered that sentiment once. Tis the note of
• 1:52:12
  Speaker 1: the Jubjub. Keep count, I entreat you will find I
• 1:52:17
  Speaker 1: have told it you twice. Tis the song of the jubjub.
• 1:52:22
  Speaker 1: The proof is complete, if only I've stated it thrice.
• 1:52:27
  Speaker 1: The beaver had counted with scrupulous care, attending to every word,
• 1:52:34
  Speaker 1: but it fairly lost heart and outgrabe in despair. When
• 1:52:39
  Speaker 1: the third repetition occurred, it felt that, in spite of
• 1:52:44
  Speaker 1: all possible pains, it had somehow contrived to lose count,
• 1:52:50
  Speaker 1: and the only thing now was to rack its poor
• 1:52:53
  Speaker 1: brains by reckoning up the amount two added to one.
• 1:52:59
  Speaker 1: If that could be done, it said, with one's fingers
• 1:53:02
  Speaker 1: and sums, recollecting with tears. How in earlier years it
• 1:53:08
  Speaker 1: had taken no pains with its sums. The thing can
• 1:53:13
  Speaker 1: be done, said the butcher. I think the thing must
• 1:53:17
  Speaker 1: be done. I am sure. The thing shall be done.
• 1:53:21
  Speaker 1: Bring me paper and ink the best there is time
• 1:53:24
  Speaker 1: to procure. The beaver brought paper, portfolio, pens, and ink
• 1:53:30
  Speaker 1: in unfailing supplies, while strange, creepy creatures came out of
• 1:53:36
  Speaker 1: their dens and watched them with wondering eyes. So engrossed
• 1:53:43
  Speaker 1: was the butcher he heeded them not as he wrote
• 1:53:46
  Speaker 1: with a pen in each hand, and explained all the
• 1:53:50
  Speaker 1: while in a popular style which the beaver could well understand.
• 1:53:57
  Speaker 1: Taking three as the subject to read about a convenient number,
• 1:54:02
  Speaker 1: to state, we add seven and ten, and then multiply
• 1:54:07
  Speaker 1: out by one thousand, diminished by eight. The result we
• 1:54:13
  Speaker 1: proceed to divide, as you see, by nine hundred and
• 1:54:17
  Speaker 1: ninety and two, then subtract seventeen. And the answer must
• 1:54:23
  Speaker 1: be exactly am perfectly true the method employed, I would
• 1:54:29
  Speaker 1: gladly explain, while I have it so clear in my head,
• 1:54:34
  Speaker 1: if I had but the time, and you had but
• 1:54:37
  Speaker 1: the brain. But much yet remains to be said. In
• 1:54:41
  Speaker 1: one moment, I've seen what has hitherto been enveloped in
• 1:54:47
  Speaker 1: absolute mystery, and without extra charge, I will give you
• 1:54:52
  Speaker 1: at large a lesson in natural history. In his genial way,
• 1:54:58
  Speaker 1: he proceeded to say forgetting all laws of propriety, and
• 1:55:04
  Speaker 1: that giving instruction without introduction would have caused quite a
• 1:55:08
  Speaker 1: thrill in society. As to temper the job. Jobs are
• 1:55:14
  Speaker 1: desperate bird. Since it lives in perpetual passion, its taste
• 1:55:19
  Speaker 1: in costume is entirely absurd. It is age as ahead
• 1:55:23
  Speaker 1: of the fashion. But it knows any friend it has
• 1:55:27
  Speaker 1: met once before. It never will look at a bribe,
• 1:55:32
  Speaker 1: and in charity meetings it stands at the door and collects,
• 1:55:36
  Speaker 1: though it does not subscribe. Its flavor, when cooked is
• 1:55:42
  Speaker 1: more exquisite far than mutton, or oysters or eggs. Some
• 1:55:48
  Speaker 1: think it keeps best in an ivory jar, and some
• 1:55:52
  Speaker 1: in mahogany kegs. You boil it in sawdust, you salt
• 1:55:57
  Speaker 1: it in glue, you condense it with locusts and tape,
• 1:56:02
  Speaker 1: still keeping one principal object in view, to preserve its
• 1:56:07
  Speaker 1: symmetrical shape. The butcher would gladly have talked till next day,
• 1:56:13
  Speaker 1: but he felt that the lesson must end, and he
• 1:56:17
  Speaker 1: wept in delight in attempting to say he considered the
• 1:56:21
  Speaker 1: beaver his friend. While the beaver, confessed with affectionate looks
• 1:56:27
  Speaker 1: more eloquent even than tears. It had learnt in ten minutes,
• 1:56:33
  Speaker 1: far more than all books would have taught it in
• 1:56:36
  Speaker 1: seventy years. They returned hand in hand, and the bellman,
• 1:56:42
  Speaker 1: un manned for a moment, with noble emotion, said, this
• 1:56:47
  Speaker 1: amply repays all the wearisome days we have spent on
• 1:56:52
  Speaker 1: the billowy ocean. Such friends as the beaver and butcher became,
• 1:56:59
  Speaker 1: have seldom, if ever, been known in winter or summer.
• 1:57:04
  Speaker 1: Twas always the same, You could never meet either alone.
• 1:57:09
  Speaker 1: And when quarrels arose, as one frequently finds, quarrels will
• 1:57:15
  Speaker 1: spite of every endeavor, the song of the Jubjub recurred
• 1:57:21
  Speaker 1: to their minds and cemented their friendship forever fit the
• 1:57:27
  Speaker 1: sixth the Barrister's dream. They sought it with thimbles, they
• 1:57:34
  Speaker 1: sought it with care. They pursued it with forks and hope.
• 1:57:38
  Speaker 1: They threatened its life with a railway share. They charmed
• 1:57:42
  Speaker 1: it with smiles and soap. But the barrister, weary of
• 1:57:48
  Speaker 1: proving in vain that the beaver's lace making was wrong,
• 1:57:52
  Speaker 1: fell asleep, and in dreams saw the creature quite plain
• 1:57:57
  Speaker 1: that his fancy had dwelt on so long. He dreamt
• 1:58:02
  Speaker 1: that he stood in a shadowy court where the snark,
• 1:58:07
  Speaker 1: with a glass in its eye, dressed in gown bands,
• 1:58:10
  Speaker 1: and wig was defending a pig on the charge of
• 1:58:14
  Speaker 1: deserting its stye. The witnesses proved, without error or flaw,
• 1:58:21
  Speaker 1: that the stye was deserted when found, and the judge
• 1:58:26
  Speaker 1: kept explaining the state of the law in a soft
• 1:58:30
  Speaker 1: undercurrent of sound. The indictment had never been clearly expressed,
• 1:58:37
  Speaker 1: and it seemed that the snark had begun and had
• 1:58:41
  Speaker 1: spoken three hours before anyone guessed what the peak was
• 1:58:46
  Speaker 1: supposed to have done. The jury had each formed a
• 1:58:51
  Speaker 1: different view long before the indictment was read, and they
• 1:58:56
  Speaker 1: all spoke at once, so that none of them knew
• 1:59:00
  Speaker 1: one word that the others had said. You must know,
• 1:59:05
  Speaker 1: said the judge. But the snark exclaimed fudge. That statute
• 1:59:10
  Speaker 1: is obsolete. Quite let me tell you, my friends, the
• 1:59:14
  Speaker 1: whole question depends on an ancient manorial right. In the
• 1:59:20
  Speaker 1: manner of treason, the pig would appear to have aided
• 1:59:25
  Speaker 1: but scarcely abetted, while the charge of insolvency fails. It
• 1:59:30
  Speaker 1: is clear if you grant the plea never indebted the
• 1:59:35
  Speaker 1: fact of desertion. I will not dispute, but its guilt,
• 1:59:40
  Speaker 1: as I trust, is removed so far as relates to
• 1:59:45
  Speaker 1: the cost of this suit by the alibi, which has
• 1:59:48
  Speaker 1: been proved. My poor client's fate now depends on your votes. Here.
• 1:59:56
  Speaker 1: The speaker sat down in his place and directed the
• 2:00:00
  Speaker 1: judge to refer to his notes and briefly to sum
• 2:00:04
  Speaker 1: up the case. But the judge said he never had
• 2:00:09
  Speaker 1: summed up before. So the snark undertook it instead, and
• 2:00:14
  Speaker 1: summed it so well that it came to far more
• 2:00:18
  Speaker 1: than the witnesses ever had said. When the verdict was
• 2:00:23
  Speaker 1: called for, the jury declined, as the word was so
• 2:00:27
  Speaker 1: puzzling to spell, but they ventured to hope that the
• 2:00:32
  Speaker 1: snark wouldn't mind undertaking that duty as well. So the
• 2:00:38
  Speaker 1: snark found the verdict, although as it owned, it was
• 2:00:42
  Speaker 1: spent with the toils of the day. When it said
• 2:00:46
  Speaker 1: the word guilty, the jury all groaned, and some of
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 1: them fainted away. Then the snark pronounced sentence, the judge
• 2:00:58
  Speaker 1: being quite too nervous to utter a word. When it
• 2:01:03
  Speaker 1: rose to its feet, there was silence like night, and
• 2:01:08
  Speaker 1: the fall of a pin might be heard. Transportation for
• 2:01:13
  Speaker 1: life was the sentence it gave, and then to be
• 2:01:17
  Speaker 1: fined forty pound. The jury all cheered, though the judge
• 2:01:24
  Speaker 1: said he feared that the phrase was not legally sound.
• 2:01:28
  Speaker 1: But their wild exultation was suddenly checked when the jailer
• 2:01:33
  Speaker 1: informed them with tears, such a sentence would have not
• 2:01:38
  Speaker 1: the slightest effect, as the pig had been dead for
• 2:01:42
  Speaker 1: some years. The judge left the court looking deeply disgusted,
• 2:01:48
  Speaker 1: but the snock, though a little aghast as the lawyer
• 2:01:52
  Speaker 1: to whom the defense was entrusted, went bellowing on to
• 2:01:56
  Speaker 1: the last. Thus the as to dreamed, while the bellowing
• 2:02:03
  Speaker 1: seemed to grow every moment more clear, till he woke
• 2:02:08
  Speaker 1: to the knell of a furious bell, which the bellman
• 2:02:12
  Speaker 1: rang close at his ear. Fit the seventh the banker's fate.
• 2:02:20
  Speaker 1: They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care,
• 2:02:23
  Speaker 1: They pursued it with forks and hope. They threatened its
• 2:02:28
  Speaker 1: life with a railway share. They charmed it with smiles
• 2:02:31
  Speaker 1: and soap. And the banker, inspired with a courage so
• 2:02:37
  Speaker 1: new it was matter for general remark, rushed madly ahead,
• 2:02:42
  Speaker 1: and was lost to their view in his zeal to
• 2:02:45
  Speaker 1: discover the snark. But while he was seeking with thimbles
• 2:02:50
  Speaker 1: and care, a bandersnatch swiftly drew nigh and grabbed at
• 2:02:55
  Speaker 1: the banker, who shrieked in despair, for he knew it
• 2:02:59
  Speaker 1: was useless to fly. He offered large discount. He offered
• 2:03:04
  Speaker 1: a check drawn to bearer for seven pounds ten, but
• 2:03:09
  Speaker 1: the bander snatch merely extended its neck and grabbed at
• 2:03:14
  Speaker 1: the banker again, without rest or pause, while those fumious
• 2:03:20
  Speaker 1: jaws went savagely snapping around. He skipped, and he hopped,
• 2:03:25
  Speaker 1: and he floundered and flopped till fainting he fell to
• 2:03:29
  Speaker 1: the ground. The bander snatch fled as the others appeared,
• 2:03:34
  Speaker 1: led on by that fear stricken yell, and the bellman remarked,
• 2:03:39
  Speaker 1: it is just as I feared, and solemnly told on
• 2:03:44
  Speaker 1: his bell. He was black in the face, and they
• 2:03:48
  Speaker 1: scarcely could trace the least likeness to what he had been.
• 2:03:53
  Speaker 1: While so great was his fright that his waistcoat turned white,
• 2:03:57
  Speaker 1: a wonderful thing to be seen. To the horror of
• 2:04:02
  Speaker 1: all who were present that day, he uprose in full
• 2:04:05
  Speaker 1: evening dress, and with senseless grimaces, endeavored to say what
• 2:04:10
  Speaker 1: his tongue could no longer express down. He sank in
• 2:04:15
  Speaker 1: a chair, ran his hands through his hair, and chanted
• 2:04:19
  Speaker 1: in mimsiest tones, words whose utter inanity proved his insanity
• 2:04:25
  Speaker 1: while he rattled a couple of bones. Leave him here
• 2:04:30
  Speaker 1: to his fate. It is getting so late, the bellman exclaimed,
• 2:04:35
  Speaker 1: in affright, we have lost half the day. Any further
• 2:04:39
  Speaker 1: delay and we shan't catch a snark before night fit
• 2:04:46
  Speaker 1: the apes the vanishing. They sought it with thimbles, They
• 2:04:52
  Speaker 1: sought it with care, They pursued it with forks and hope.
• 2:04:56
  Speaker 1: They threatened its life with a railway share. They charmed
• 2:04:59
  Speaker 1: it with smiles and soap. They shuddered to think that
• 2:05:04
  Speaker 1: the chase might fail, and the beaver, excited at last,
• 2:05:09
  Speaker 1: went bounding along on the tip of its tail, for
• 2:05:11
  Speaker 1: the daylight was nearly pasted. There is thingumbob shouting, the
• 2:05:17
  Speaker 1: bellman said. He is shouting like mad only hark. He
• 2:05:22
  Speaker 1: is waving his hands, he is wagging his head. He
• 2:05:25
  Speaker 1: has certainly found a snug. They gazed in delight, while
• 2:05:32
  Speaker 1: the butcher exclaimed he was always a desperate wag. They
• 2:05:37
  Speaker 1: beheld him their baker, their hero, unnamed on the top
• 2:05:42
  Speaker 1: of a neighboring crag, erect and sublime for one moment
• 2:05:48
  Speaker 1: of time. In the next, that wild figure they saw,
• 2:05:53
  Speaker 1: as if stung by a spasm, plunge into a chasm
• 2:05:58
  Speaker 1: while they waited and listen in awe. It's a snark
• 2:06:04
  Speaker 1: was the sound that first came to their ears and
• 2:06:07
  Speaker 1: seemed almost too good to be true. Then followed a
• 2:06:12
  Speaker 1: torrent of laughter and cheers, then the ominous words it's
• 2:06:18
  Speaker 1: a boo, then silence. Some fancied they heard in the
• 2:06:24
  Speaker 1: air a weary and wandering sigh that sounded like jump,
• 2:06:31
  Speaker 1: but the others declare it was only a breeze that
• 2:06:34
  Speaker 1: went by. They hunted till darkness came on, but they
• 2:06:40
  Speaker 1: found not a button or feather or mark by which
• 2:06:45
  Speaker 1: they could tell that they stood on the ground where
• 2:06:48
  Speaker 1: the baker had met with the snark. In the midst
• 2:06:53
  Speaker 1: of the word he was trying to say, in the
• 2:06:56
  Speaker 1: midst of his laughter and glee, he had soft and
• 2:07:00
  Speaker 1: suddenly vanished away, For the snark was a boojum. You
• 2:07:06
  Speaker 1: see end of the Hunting of the Snark. Sighs and
• 2:07:18
  Speaker 1: tears from Rhyme and Reason by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox
• 2:07:24
  Speaker 1: recording is in the public domain. Recording by Michael Max
• 2:07:30
  Speaker 1: sighs and tears when on the sandy shore. I sit
• 2:07:35
  Speaker 1: beside the salt sea wave and fall into a weeping
• 2:07:39
  Speaker 1: fit because I dare not shave a little whisper at
• 2:07:42
  Speaker 1: my ear. Inquires the reason of my fear, I answer,
• 2:07:48
  Speaker 1: if that ruffian Jones should recognize me here, he'd bellow
• 2:07:52
  Speaker 1: out my name in tones offensive to the ear. He
• 2:07:56
  Speaker 1: chuffs me so on being stout, a thing that always
• 2:08:00
  Speaker 1: puts me out. Ah Me. I see him on the cliff, farewell,
• 2:08:06
  Speaker 1: farewell to hope if he should look this way, and
• 2:08:10
  Speaker 1: if he's got his telescope, to whatsoever place I flee.
• 2:08:15
  Speaker 1: My odious rival follows me for every night and everywhere.
• 2:08:22
  Speaker 1: I meet him out at dinner, and when I found
• 2:08:25
  Speaker 1: some charming fair and vowed to die or win her.
• 2:08:30
  Speaker 1: The wretch. He's thin and I am stout. He is
• 2:08:34
  Speaker 1: sure to come and cut me out. The girls, just
• 2:08:39
  Speaker 1: like them, all agree to praise j Jones. Esquire, I
• 2:08:44
  Speaker 1: ask them what on earth they see about him to admire?
• 2:08:48
  Speaker 1: They cry, he is so sleek and slim, it's quite
• 2:08:52
  Speaker 1: a treat to look at him. They vanish in tobacco
• 2:08:57
  Speaker 1: smoke those visionary maids. I feel a sharp and sudden
• 2:09:02
  Speaker 1: poke between the shoulder blades. Why Brown, my boy, you're
• 2:09:06
  Speaker 1: growing stout. I told you he would find me out.
• 2:09:11
  Speaker 1: My growth is not your business, sir, No more it
• 2:09:15
  Speaker 1: is my boy. But if it's yours, as I infer,
• 2:09:19
  Speaker 1: why Brown, I give you joy. A man whose business
• 2:09:23
  Speaker 1: prospers so is just the sort of man to know.
• 2:09:28
  Speaker 1: It's hardly safe. Though talking here, I best get out
• 2:09:32
  Speaker 1: of reach for such a wait as yours, I fear
• 2:09:35
  Speaker 1: must shortly sink the beach insult me. Thus, because I'm stout,
• 2:09:41
  Speaker 1: I vow I'll go and call him out. End of
• 2:09:47
  Speaker 1: size and tears. At a Lanta in Camden Town from
• 2:09:56
  Speaker 1: Ryman Reason by Lewis Carroll. This Brivox recording is in
• 2:10:01
  Speaker 1: the public domain. Recording by Michael Maggs At Alanta in
• 2:10:07
  Speaker 1: Camden Town. I twas here on this spot in that
• 2:10:13
  Speaker 1: summer of yore at Atlanta did not vote my presence
• 2:10:17
  Speaker 1: a bore, nor reply to my tenderest talk. She had
• 2:10:21
  Speaker 1: heard all that nonsense before she'd the brooch I had bought,
• 2:10:26
  Speaker 1: and the necklace and sashon, and her heart, as I thought,
• 2:10:30
  Speaker 1: was alive to my passion, and she'd done up her
• 2:10:34
  Speaker 1: hair in the style that the Empress had brought into fashion.
• 2:10:38
  Speaker 1: I have been to the play with my pearl of
• 2:10:40
  Speaker 1: a Pieri. But for all I could say, she declared
• 2:10:45
  Speaker 1: she was weary, that the place was so crowded and hot,
• 2:10:49
  Speaker 1: and she couldn't abide that done reary. Then I thought,
• 2:10:54
  Speaker 1: tis for me that she whinds and she whimpers, And
• 2:10:58
  Speaker 1: it soothed me to see the sensational simpers. And I said,
• 2:11:03
  Speaker 1: this is scrumptious, a phrase I had learnt from the
• 2:11:07
  Speaker 1: Devonshire shrimpers. And I vowed twill be said. I am
• 2:11:12
  Speaker 1: a fortunate fellow when the breakfast is spread, when the
• 2:11:15
  Speaker 1: topas are mellow, when the foam of the bride cake
• 2:11:19
  Speaker 1: is white, and the fierce orange blossoms are yellow. Oh
• 2:11:24
  Speaker 1: that languishing yawn, Oh those eloquent eyes. I was drunk
• 2:11:29
  Speaker 1: with the dawn of us splendid same eyes. I was
• 2:11:33
  Speaker 1: stung by a look, I was slain by a tear,
• 2:11:37
  Speaker 1: by a tempest of sighs, And I whispered, tis time
• 2:11:43
  Speaker 1: is not love at its deepest? Shall we squander life's
• 2:11:48
  Speaker 1: prime while thy waitest and weepest? Let us settle it
• 2:11:52
  Speaker 1: license or bands, though undoubtedly bands are the cheapest. Ah,
• 2:11:57
  Speaker 1: my hero said, I let me be thy Leander, but
• 2:12:03
  Speaker 1: I lost her reply something ending with Gander. For the
• 2:12:08
  Speaker 1: omnibus rattled so loud that no mortal could quite understand her.
• 2:12:16
  Speaker 1: End of Atalanta incumdent Town. The Langcourton from Ryman Reason
• 2:12:27
  Speaker 1: by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain.
• 2:12:32
  Speaker 1: Recording by Michael Maggs. The lang Courton. The lady she
• 2:12:37
  Speaker 1: stood at her lattice high. We are doggy at our
• 2:12:40
  Speaker 1: feet thorough the latters. She can spy the passers in
• 2:12:45
  Speaker 1: the street. There's one that stand us at the door
• 2:12:49
  Speaker 1: and tear us at the pin. Now speak and say
• 2:12:52
  Speaker 1: my popinjay, if I shall let him in, Then up
• 2:12:56
  Speaker 1: and spake the popinjay that flew a boon her head,
• 2:13:00
  Speaker 1: gay led him in that tills the pin. Ye cometh
• 2:13:03
  Speaker 1: see to wed oh when he come the parlor in
• 2:13:08
  Speaker 1: a woeful man was he and dinner? Ye can ye
• 2:13:12
  Speaker 1: love her again? Say well that loveth see, And how
• 2:13:17
  Speaker 1: wad I can ye loved me? Sir that have been
• 2:13:21
  Speaker 1: say lang away, and how wad I ken ye loved me? Sir,
• 2:13:25
  Speaker 1: Ye never telled me, say, said lady dear, and the
• 2:13:31
  Speaker 1: salt salt tear came rin doon his cheek. I have
• 2:13:36
  Speaker 1: sent thee tokens of my love this many and many
• 2:13:40
  Speaker 1: a week. Oh didna ye get the rings, lady? The
• 2:13:45
  Speaker 1: rings a god, say fine, I WoT that I have
• 2:13:49
  Speaker 1: sent to thee four score, four score and nine. They
• 2:13:55
  Speaker 1: come to me, said that fair lady. Wow, they were
• 2:13:59
  Speaker 1: fle limsy things. Said that chain o gold, my doggy
• 2:14:05
  Speaker 1: to hoard is made o they self same rings. And
• 2:14:10
  Speaker 1: didn't o ye get the locks? The locks the locks
• 2:14:14
  Speaker 1: o my am black hair wilk I sent by post,
• 2:14:17
  Speaker 1: which I sent by box, wilk I sent by carrier.
• 2:14:22
  Speaker 1: They come to me, said that, fair lady, and I
• 2:14:26
  Speaker 1: prythee send nay maire said that cushion say red for
• 2:14:32
  Speaker 1: my doggie's head. It is stuffed with they locks a hair,
• 2:14:37
  Speaker 1: And didn't ye get the letter? Lady tied we a
• 2:14:41
  Speaker 1: silken string wilke I sent to thee frae the foul
• 2:14:45
  Speaker 1: country a message of love to bring it come to
• 2:14:49
  Speaker 1: me fry the far country wi its silken string, and eh,
• 2:14:53
  Speaker 1: but it was n'na prepaid, said that high born maid
• 2:14:57
  Speaker 1: so I gat them take it away. Oh ever, Ala,
• 2:15:02
  Speaker 1: like that, ye sent it back. It was written sea
• 2:15:05
  Speaker 1: clerkly and well. Now the message it brought in the
• 2:15:09
  Speaker 1: boon that it sought, I must even say it. Mesell,
• 2:15:14
  Speaker 1: then up and spake the popinjay say wisely, cancel'd he
• 2:15:20
  Speaker 1: now say it in the proper way. Gay, doon upon
• 2:15:23
  Speaker 1: thy knee. The lover he turn'd, both red and pale,
• 2:15:29
  Speaker 1: went doon upon his knee. O, lady, here they weigh
• 2:15:33
  Speaker 1: some tale that must be told to THEE. For five
• 2:15:38
  Speaker 1: lang years and five lang years, I quoted THEE by looks,
• 2:15:43
  Speaker 1: by nods and winks, by smiles and tears, as I
• 2:15:47
  Speaker 1: had read in books. For ten lang years, O weary hours,
• 2:15:53
  Speaker 1: I quoted THEE by signs, by sending game, by sending flowers,
• 2:15:59
  Speaker 1: by sending valentines. For five lang years and five lang years,
• 2:16:05
  Speaker 1: I have dwelt in the far countree till that thy
• 2:16:09
  Speaker 1: mind should be inclined mere tenderly to me. Now thirty
• 2:16:14
  Speaker 1: years again and past, I am come frae a foreign land.
• 2:16:19
  Speaker 1: I am come to tell THEE my love. At last, O, lady,
• 2:16:23
  Speaker 1: give me thy hand. The lady she turned, not pale
• 2:16:28
  Speaker 1: nor red, but she smiled, a pitiful smile. Sick A
• 2:16:34
  Speaker 1: curtain is yours, my man, she said, takes a lang
• 2:16:38
  Speaker 1: and a weary while, and out and laughed the popinjay
• 2:16:43
  Speaker 1: a laugh of bitter scorn. Her core in done in
• 2:16:48
  Speaker 1: thicker way. It ought not to be borne. We that
• 2:16:53
  Speaker 1: the doggie barked aloud, an up and dooney run and
• 2:16:58
  Speaker 1: tugged and strd rained his chain, A gored all fo
• 2:17:02
  Speaker 1: to bite the man. Oh hush, thee gentle popinjay, Oh
• 2:17:07
  Speaker 1: hush thee doggie. Dear, there is a word, I fain,
• 2:17:11
  Speaker 1: what say it needeth he should hear a louder scream
• 2:17:17
  Speaker 1: that lady fair to drown her doggie's bark. Ever, the
• 2:17:21
  Speaker 1: lover shouted mare, to make that lady hark shrill and
• 2:17:27
  Speaker 1: more shrill. The popinjay up raised his angry squall. I
• 2:17:32
  Speaker 1: trove the doggie's voice that day was louder than them.
• 2:17:35
  Speaker 1: All the serving men and serving maids sat by the
• 2:17:40
  Speaker 1: kitchen fire. They heard sicker din the parlor within, as
• 2:17:44
  Speaker 1: made them much admire. Outspake the boy in buttons. I
• 2:17:50
  Speaker 1: ween he wasna thin now, While will tae the parlor
• 2:17:54
  Speaker 1: gay and stay this deadly din and they have taen
• 2:17:58
  Speaker 1: a kerchief cast did their kevils in for war? Should
• 2:18:02
  Speaker 1: tay the parlor gay and stay that deadly din When
• 2:18:07
  Speaker 1: on that boy the kevil fell to stay the fearsome
• 2:18:11
  Speaker 1: noise gay in, They cried, whate'er betide thou, Prince of
• 2:18:15
  Speaker 1: button boys, sign he has taen a supple cane to
• 2:18:20
  Speaker 1: swing that dog say fat that doggie yowled. The doggie
• 2:18:25
  Speaker 1: howled the louder eye for that sign he has tain
• 2:18:30
  Speaker 1: a mutton bane. The doggie ceased his noise and followed
• 2:18:35
  Speaker 1: doon the kitchen stare that Prince of button boys, then
• 2:18:40
  Speaker 1: sadly spake that lady fair, we are frown upon our brow.
• 2:18:45
  Speaker 1: O dearer to me is my small doggie than a
• 2:18:48
  Speaker 1: dozen sick as. Thou nay use, nay use for sighs
• 2:18:53
  Speaker 1: and tears, nay use at all to fret sin ye've bided,
• 2:18:58
  Speaker 1: see welfa sir ty years ye may bide, do we langer?
• 2:19:02
  Speaker 1: Yet sadly, sadly he crossed the floor and tear led
• 2:19:08
  Speaker 1: at the pin. Sadly went he through the door, where
• 2:19:12
  Speaker 1: sadly he come in. Oh gin, I had a popinjay
• 2:19:16
  Speaker 1: to fly a boon my head to tell me what
• 2:19:19
  Speaker 1: I ought to say. I had by this been wed o.
• 2:19:23
  Speaker 1: Gin I find anither lady, he said, we sighs and tears.
• 2:19:28
  Speaker 1: I WoT my courtin shall not be anither thirty years
• 2:19:33
  Speaker 1: for gin I find a lady gay exactly to my taste.
• 2:19:37
  Speaker 1: I'll pop the question aye or nay in twenty years
• 2:19:42
  Speaker 1: at maste end of the Langcordon. Four riddles from Rhyme
• 2:19:54
  Speaker 1: and Reason by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox recording is in
• 2:19:58
  Speaker 1: the public domain recording by Michael Maggs. Four riddles. These
• 2:20:05
  Speaker 1: consist of two double acrossticks and two charades. Number one
• 2:20:11
  Speaker 1: was written at the request of some young friends who
• 2:20:14
  Speaker 1: had gone to a ball at an Oxford commemoration, and
• 2:20:17
  Speaker 1: also as a specimen of what might be done by
• 2:20:21
  Speaker 1: making the double acrosstick a connected poem instead of what
• 2:20:25
  Speaker 1: it has hitherto been, a string of disjointed stanzas on
• 2:20:29
  Speaker 1: every conceivable subject, and about as interesting to read straight
• 2:20:33
  Speaker 1: through as a page of encyclopedia. The first two stanzas
• 2:20:38
  Speaker 1: described the two main words, and each subsequent stanza one
• 2:20:42
  Speaker 1: of the cross lights. Number two was written after seeing
• 2:20:47
  Speaker 1: Miss Ellen Terry perform in the play of Hamlet. In
• 2:20:51
  Speaker 1: this case, the first stanza describes the two main words.
• 2:20:56
  Speaker 1: Number three was written after seeing Miss Marion Terry perform
• 2:21:00
  Speaker 1: in mister Gilbert's play of Pygmalion and Galatea. The three
• 2:21:05
  Speaker 1: stunzas respectively describe my first, my second, and my whole one.
• 2:21:13
  Speaker 1: There was an ancient city stricken down with a strange frenzy,
• 2:21:18
  Speaker 1: And for many a day they paced from morn to
• 2:21:21
  Speaker 1: eve the crowded town, and danced the night away. I
• 2:21:26
  Speaker 1: asked the cause. The aged man grew sad. They pointed
• 2:21:30
  Speaker 1: to a building, gray and tall, and hoarsely answered, step inside,
• 2:21:35
  Speaker 1: my lad and then you'll see it all. Yet, what
• 2:21:39
  Speaker 1: are all such gaieties to me? Whose thoughts are full
• 2:21:43
  Speaker 1: of indo season thirds x square plus seven x plus
• 2:21:46
  Speaker 1: fifty three equals eleven over three. But something whispered It
• 2:21:51
  Speaker 1: will soon be done. Bands cannot always play, nor ladies smile,
• 2:21:56
  Speaker 1: endure with patience the distasteful fun. For just a little while,
• 2:22:02
  Speaker 1: a change came all my vision. It was night. We
• 2:22:06
  Speaker 1: clove a pathway through a frantic throng. The steeds whild
• 2:22:11
  Speaker 1: plunging filled us with a fright. The chariots whirled along
• 2:22:16
  Speaker 1: within a marble hall, a river ran a living tide,
• 2:22:21
  Speaker 1: half muslin and half cloth. And here one mourned a
• 2:22:25
  Speaker 1: broken wreath or fan, yet swallowed down her wrath. And
• 2:22:30
  Speaker 1: here one offered to a thirsty fare his words half
• 2:22:34
  Speaker 1: drowned amid those thunders, tuneful, some frozen viand there were
• 2:22:39
  Speaker 1: many there a toothache in each spoonful. There comes the
• 2:22:44
  Speaker 1: happy palls, for human strength will not endure to dance
• 2:22:48
  Speaker 1: without cessation, and every one must reach the point at
• 2:22:53
  Speaker 1: lengths of absolute prostration. At such a moment, ladies learned
• 2:22:59
  Speaker 1: to give to partners who would urge them over much
• 2:23:02
  Speaker 1: of flat and yet decided negative photographers love such there
• 2:23:10
  Speaker 1: comes a welcome summons. Hope revives, and fading eyes grow bright,
• 2:23:16
  Speaker 1: and pulses quicken. Incessant pops the corks and busy knives
• 2:23:21
  Speaker 1: dispense the tongue, and chicken flushed with new life, the
• 2:23:26
  Speaker 1: crowd flows back again, and all is tangled talk and
• 2:23:29
  Speaker 1: mazy motion, much like a waving field of golden grain
• 2:23:34
  Speaker 1: or a tempestuous ocean. And thus they give the time
• 2:23:39
  Speaker 1: that nature meant for peaceful sleep and meditative snores to
• 2:23:44
  Speaker 1: ceaseless din and mindless merriment, and waist of shoes and flaws.
• 2:23:51
  Speaker 1: And one we name him not that flies the flowers,
• 2:23:55
  Speaker 1: that dreads the dancers, and that shuns the salads they
• 2:24:00
  Speaker 1: doomed to pass in solitude, the hours writing acrostic ballads.
• 2:24:07
  Speaker 1: How late it grows. The hour is surely past that
• 2:24:11
  Speaker 1: should have warned us with its double knock. The twilight wanes,
• 2:24:16
  Speaker 1: A morning comes at last, O uncle, what's the clock?
• 2:24:21
  Speaker 1: The uncle gravely nods, and wisely winks it made me much,
• 2:24:26
  Speaker 1: But is one to know? He ops his mouth, yet
• 2:24:31
  Speaker 1: out of it methinks no words of wisdom flow. Two
• 2:24:39
  Speaker 1: Empress of art for THEE. I twine this wreath with
• 2:24:42
  Speaker 1: all too slender skill. Forgive my muse each halting line,
• 2:24:47
  Speaker 1: and for the deed, accept the will O day of tears,
• 2:24:54
  Speaker 1: whence comes this specter, grim parting like death's cold river.
• 2:24:59
  Speaker 1: Souls that love is not he bound to THEE as
• 2:25:03
  Speaker 1: thou to him by vows and whispered here yet heard above,
• 2:25:10
  Speaker 1: And still it lives, that keen and heavenward flame lives
• 2:25:14
  Speaker 1: in his eye and trembles in his tone. And these
• 2:25:19
  Speaker 1: wild words of fury, But proclaim heart that beats for THEE.
• 2:25:23
  Speaker 1: For thee alone, But all is lost that mighty mind
• 2:25:29
  Speaker 1: o'er throne, like sweet bells, jangled, piteous sight to see
• 2:25:34
  Speaker 1: doubt that the stars are fire, So runs his moan,
• 2:25:38
  Speaker 1: doubt truth herself, but not my love for thee. A
• 2:25:43
  Speaker 1: sadder vision yet thine aged sire, shaming his hoary locks
• 2:25:48
  Speaker 1: with treacherous while, And dost thou now doubt truth to
• 2:25:52
  Speaker 1: be a liar? And wilt thou die that hast forgot
• 2:25:56
  Speaker 1: to smile, nay get thee. Hence lee all thy winsome
• 2:26:01
  Speaker 1: ways and the faint fragrance of thy scattered flowers, in
• 2:26:05
  Speaker 1: holy silence, wait the appointed days, and weep away the
• 2:26:09
  Speaker 1: leaden footed hours. Three. The air is bright with hues
• 2:26:16
  Speaker 1: of light, and rich with laughter and with singing. Young
• 2:26:19
  Speaker 1: hearts beat high in ecstasy, and banners wave and bells
• 2:26:24
  Speaker 1: are ringing. But silence falls with fading day, and there's
• 2:26:28
  Speaker 1: an end to mass and play. Ah, will a day
• 2:26:33
  Speaker 1: rest your old bones? Ye wrinkle crones, the kettle sings,
• 2:26:38
  Speaker 1: the firelight dances deep, be it quaffed. The magic draft
• 2:26:42
  Speaker 1: that fills the soul with golden fancies for youth and
• 2:26:47
  Speaker 1: pleasance will not stay. And ye are withered, worn and gray.
• 2:26:51
  Speaker 1: Ah will a day, oh fair cold face, O form
• 2:26:57
  Speaker 1: of grace for human passion, madly ye learning a weary
• 2:27:01
  Speaker 1: air of dumb despair. From marble one to marble turning
• 2:27:06
  Speaker 1: leave us not. Thus we fondly pray we cannot let
• 2:27:10
  Speaker 1: thee pass away? Ah well a day four. My first
• 2:27:16
  Speaker 1: is singular at best, more plural is my second. My
• 2:27:21
  Speaker 1: third is farther pluralist. So plural plural, I protest it
• 2:27:26
  Speaker 1: scarcely can be reckoned. My first is followed by a bird,
• 2:27:31
  Speaker 1: my second by believers in magic art. My simple third
• 2:27:36
  Speaker 1: follows too often, hopes, absurd and plausible deceivers. My first,
• 2:27:42
  Speaker 1: to get at wisdom tries a failure melancholy. My second
• 2:27:48
  Speaker 1: men revered as wise. My third, from heights of wisdom
• 2:27:52
  Speaker 1: flies to depths of frantic folly. My first is aging
• 2:27:58
  Speaker 1: day by day. My second age is ended. My third
• 2:28:02
  Speaker 1: enjoys and age. They say that never seems to fade away.
• 2:28:06
  Speaker 1: Those centuries extended my whole. I need a poet's pen
• 2:28:12
  Speaker 1: to paint her myriad faces. The monarch and the slave
• 2:28:16
  Speaker 1: of men, A mountain summit and a den of dark
• 2:28:19
  Speaker 1: and deadly mazes, A flashing light a fleeting shade, beginning,
• 2:28:25
  Speaker 1: end and middle of all that human heart hath made
• 2:28:29
  Speaker 1: or wit devised, Go seek hur ayed, if you would
• 2:28:34
  Speaker 1: read my riddle end of four Riddles. Fame's Penny Trumpet
• 2:28:47
  Speaker 1: from Ryme and Reason by Lewis Carroll. This LibriVox recording
• 2:28:51
  Speaker 1: is in the public domain. Recording by Michael Max. Fame's
• 2:28:56
  Speaker 1: Penny Trumpet affectionately dedicated to all original researchers who pant
• 2:29:03
  Speaker 1: for endowment. Blow blow your trumpets till they crack, ye
• 2:29:09
  Speaker 1: little men of little souls, and bid them huddle at
• 2:29:13
  Speaker 1: your back. Gold sucking leeches shoals on shoals, fill all
• 2:29:19
  Speaker 1: the air with hungry wails. Reward us ere, we think
• 2:29:23
  Speaker 1: all right without your gold, mere knowledge fails to sate
• 2:29:28
  Speaker 1: the swinish appetite. And where great Plato paced serene or
• 2:29:35
  Speaker 1: Newton paused with wistful eye, rush to the chase with
• 2:29:40
  Speaker 1: hoofs unclean and babel clamor of the Stye be yours,
• 2:29:46
  Speaker 1: the pay, be theirs the praise. We will not rob
• 2:29:51
  Speaker 1: them of their dew, nor vex the ghosts of other days.
• 2:29:54
  Speaker 1: By naming them along with you, they sought and found
• 2:30:00
  Speaker 1: and undying fame. They toiled not for reward nor thanks.
• 2:30:06
  Speaker 1: Their cheeks are hot with honest shame for you, the
• 2:30:10
  Speaker 1: modern mountebanks, who preach of justice, plead with tears that
• 2:30:16
  Speaker 1: love and mercy should abound, while marking with complacent ears
• 2:30:21
  Speaker 1: the moaning of some tortured hand who prate of wisdom,
• 2:30:27
  Speaker 1: nay forbear lest wisdom turn on you in wrath, trampling
• 2:30:32
  Speaker 1: with heel that will not spare the vermin that beset
• 2:30:36
  Speaker 1: her path. Go throng each other's drawing rooms, Ye, idols
• 2:30:41
  Speaker 1: of a petty cleek, strutch your brief hour in borrowed plumes,
• 2:30:46
  Speaker 1: and make your penny trumpets squeak, deck your dull talk
• 2:30:52
  Speaker 1: with pilford shreds of learning from a nobler time, and
• 2:30:57
  Speaker 1: oil each other's little heads with mutual flattery's golden slime.
• 2:31:03
  Speaker 1: And when the topmost height chye gain and stand in
• 2:31:07
  Speaker 1: Glory's ether clear and grasp the prize of all your pain,
• 2:31:13
  Speaker 1: so many hundred pounds a year. Then let fame's banner
• 2:31:18
  Speaker 1: be unfurled. Sing paeans for a victory one ye tapers
• 2:31:24
  Speaker 1: that would light the world and cast a shadow on
• 2:31:27
  Speaker 1: the sun, who still shall pour his ray sublime, one
• 2:31:31
  Speaker 1: crystal flood from east to west, when ye have burned
• 2:31:36
  Speaker 1: your little time and feebly flickered into rest. End of
• 2:31:43
  Speaker 1: Fame's penny trumpet. End of Rhyme and Reason by Lewis
• 2:31:48
  Speaker 1: Carroll