Latest / Decisions, Decisions / EP 484: Heauxing Responsibly feat.Shae Primus

Transcript

EP 484: Heauxing Responsibly feat.Shae Primus · Decisions, Decisions

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: The Decisions Decisions. Welcome to an episode everybody of four.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, excuse me.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Decisions very confusing because these bitch these ladies. Oh the
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: next that's the weekend ago and god tea for days.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you what. I was sit there looking
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: at which camera onm you a mutism? I'n't like this?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you were eating he Oh yeah, I was in.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Oh you were in now. Oh yeah, I like impact.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Oh you're like this one. Oh the girl? I was
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: fucking wait we are we are still on YouTube? Can
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: you wait? We gonna make it well YouTube? Couldn't wait.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: I thought we were gonna do pleasantries. We were gonna
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: make it cute in the beginning. But if y'all stay
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: for more than ten minutes, it's gonna get spicy. Okay,
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Welcome to Decisions Decisions. If you want horrible decisions, you
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: can still get that, but over behind the paywall. Although
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: this one is gonna be reminiscent of those days. Welcome guys.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: I am just your girl, your girl Mandy Bee.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Hi everybody, I'm few Wildered, and we have a guest
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: in the building.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: We do, we do.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: I had the pleasure of meeting our guests at we
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: were at the same event. It was a slumber party
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: of authors, all of which we have all written some
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: sort of book.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Your book is coming out in October.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: But it was a panel of authors that had sex
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: in their books. And luckily we were able to do
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: it at Emma University and really hold space for all
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: of us as black sex somewhat educators.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I was the only one unlicensed on stage. By way,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not licensed. You're not like me.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: I'm licensed by no, no, no, no no no. Hold on,
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: I'm a matchmaker and I do have degrees. There we go,
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: but not as a.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Sex Are they missing from a website as well? I
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: don't do. But no, like, I'm not that person now, y'all.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I like.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: I would like to introduce Shaye Uh to the episode.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: She is the founder of Upper Echelon Matchmaking for business professionals.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: She has also been previewed on Bravo's Love Match Atlanta,
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: and she is the author of Touch. She is a
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: businesswoman redefining her own sexuality and life as well and.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Also helping you guys find partners by doing that. How
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: does welcome about? Thank you? Yes?
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: Your question is how this matchmaking coming back I just
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: have a big network. So going to school here I
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: have I'm a Delta, so I have a big network
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: of professionals, and so my friends were always coming to
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: me like say, hook me up, hook me up.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: And I just know a lot of people.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: I've been in HR fifteen twenty years, like a long
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: time in my field, and so I just know a
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: lot of professionals. And so I started making connections, went
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: back to school, got certified as a matchmaker, certified as
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: a relationship coach.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: I didn't know you could be a certified Yeah, I know,
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Tyomi just did it is Yes, I love tyaoming and
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Tyomi is leading into match making, which I love for people.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: So what does school for matchmaking look like?
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: Well, she was mentored by a fellow matchmaker. So basically
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: when me and the person that's her mentor how we want,
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: how we learned is just there's a theory behind match maker.
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: So you would think it's I like red, Do you
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: like red?
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: But it's not that.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: It's about compatibility fine, and people who are compatible to you,
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: and there's a science behind it. There's okay, there's and
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: there's a long history of people who have matchmakers in
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: their culture. And we learned all of that, and we
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: learned the science of match We held on an area
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: we had on I don't know.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: She's from Greece. Greece, so she's like, oh yeah, oh yes,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I love her.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: She has some really dope ship that she brought up
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: about builder and like explore, and I thought that was
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: different than just that surface level shit, absolutely, which I
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: thought it was dope. I really like enjoyed that episode.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: So I liked learning about how especially knowing that you
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: she got you right now, shn't really match making.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: A gainer. Let's let let's not. Let's get some sort
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: of ads on you.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: I did want to ask because I did want to
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: lean into a little bit of matchmaking, because the conversations
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: right now around dating or that it's so expensive. A
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: recent study showed that the average first date costs two
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: hundred and fifty two dollars, and so it's keeping a
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: lot of people from going on dates. My friend actually
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: just met a guy out and he said he doesn't.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Do first dates. He's uh.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: They ended up meeting first like a walk literally, and
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: then he was like after that, I know, he literally said.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: And then after that, I realize, if I want to
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: take you out, because if I go on three first
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: dates in a week, it's very fucking expensive. And so
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: when it comes to matchmaking, I saw the prices, yes,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: and so are people looking right now to skip the
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: going on all of these first dates that end up
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: in nowhere and just really honing in on.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Feeling like, okay, a matchmaker can help me find the one.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: So people who come to upper echelne can't afford, you know,
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: a first date. So we're not talking about the same
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: demographic of people. Okay, So my clients are typically very successful,
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: wealthy even, and so you know, if they're dropping twenty
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: thousand dollars, they can afford a two hundred dollars day, right,
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: So we're not talking about the same people. But I
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: will say for the people who probably couldn't afford to
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: because he used to do class to middle class and
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: I upgrade it has Rick Ross asked me to match
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: him and I couldn't match him under middle class.
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: Matchmakers had to elevate my Ross.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Period ambitions on the ninety day probationary period.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Listen, we all have a cross Okay, yeah, now, and
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: that's the truth. But I'm curious now in terms of
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: a rapper, right, like forget the name of it is.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I've noticed, like we've all noticed, they genuinely want someone
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: to be around often be able to move around with you,
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: which to me is kind of like obitu.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Don't really work. Yeah, that's true. Did you have to
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: match make him based off of just beauty? Almost?
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: It's not my typical clientele, to be honest, because my
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: clients are successful and really he's.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: A woman client to me because he's successful, my female.
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: So the people that I would match are successful, So
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: I usually don't have a pool of people who are
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: available like that to just hang around and go with
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: you wherever you want to go.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: The people that I match or are people who have
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: some business about themselves. They have a career and you're
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: going to need to schedule some time to go and
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean. It's not the same, not
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: the same demographic. And so I think that's where we
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: had a conflict. We weren't able to to do.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: You find that successful women want successful men and vice versa.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: Successful women definitely want successful men, but successful men they
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: don't have to have successful women necessarily because they're looking
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: to take care of them. If they're looking for you
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: to be a traditional woman. You could be a waitress,
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: you know, and they will. So it's really different. But
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: successful women absolutely.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: One of my girlfriends says something to me that I
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: was like, huh okay. She said, men that I'm dating
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: that come from a good family because success. She's like,
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: I feel like they'll date anybody, but specifically a good family.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: She's like, I feel like they want Ivy League grads,
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: they want women that own businesses. She's like, I've noticed
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: if their family is well to do, that's when I've
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: struggled to date.
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a pedigree, like what school that you attend?
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: And I've dated guys like that too. There are some
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: people who are tasting the pedigree that does exist in
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: a black culture, and we don't talk about that enough.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: But we have some elitism and we have some you know,
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: did you go to the right schools?
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: Do you what kind of careers do your parents have?
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: People do look for that?
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: So it's all about from my perspective, it's understanding you,
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: understanding your dynamics and what you're looking for.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I love that you said that too, because you're right.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Within the black community.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: We don't talk about how we do seek that even
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: though I mean when you talk about or when most
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: people talk about how we date, it's all that we
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: came from nothing. Yeah, yeah, but there's no conversations about the.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Black elites, and we do exist, and we do.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: It's not it more like, of course, living in Atlanta,
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: seeing how people are are brought up and their family
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: and how they're.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Kind of surprised.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: When she said it to me, I'm like, oh, how
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: to go with that guy? And she's like, oh girl,
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: She's like they riding horses on a weekend.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: And yes, you know. It's a whole and I actually
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: talk about that in my book when we get to
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: the book.
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: I'll talk about it because I grew up that way too,
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: in private school my whole life, and I've dated guys.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Who grew up like me too.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: Equestrian girl, yes, a question, Martha's vinyard going to Black
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: Yacht We yes.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: So it's a whole thing.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: We do exist, and it's like we don't talk about
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: it enough. Everybody didn't come from the hood, and.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I really wish we would talk about it enough. You're
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: right now.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: I want to ask you just in terms of matchmaking too,
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: and then we're gonna get into the myth. There was
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: recently this thing that I found really interesting. So a
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: woman created an app. Now we do know the TA
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: app got taken down, but that was because it was
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: kind of like, uh, you could just go.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: On and say whatever you wanted about someone.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: But a woman recently created an app Unlovable that allows
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: women to do an immediate background check on men. You
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: only need their name and cell phone number and you
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: can look things up. I'm curious if there are any
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: things that would be in someone's background that would not
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: make them a client. And of course you mostly deal
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: with women, but also as women with dating, what things
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: on a background check would be a red flag?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: I would have domestic.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: Violence, but massive violence, murder, sexual assault. But my clients
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: don't want criminal backgrounds period. Oh well, you got to
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: think if I'm an executive, I can't be moving around
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: with a criminal, right You haven't.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Think creating tickets are allowed? Well, they don't care.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: About speeding tickets. They don't want you to have served time.
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: Be a felon. You know, I can't post you because
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: you're running from the police, you know what I mean.
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: So people are looking for certain calibers and what are certain.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Like small criminal things that maybe you've seen women have
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: under there.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: Like women can have do you ask women can have
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: scamming things that that that's not going to be.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: This, that would not be yet up.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: Maybe she changed, maybe she grew, she could believe that
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: felons can be rehability.
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: They can, But because I know my clientele, they're not
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: gonna you know what.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest with you. I kind of don't.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: We don't care about a man's background.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: No, no, I don't think felons can all the way like
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: like if a woman.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: We clipping this up, go hit. I don't think felons can.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: What I think they could be be abilitated into society.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: But what I'm gonna say is if I had a
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: homegirl that I knew was stealing credit cards before, she's
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: not going to be in my house. I'm not fucking
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: leaving my person when I go to the bathroom. Bit
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: you didn't get rid of it, uh huh. Because now
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: I can't even talk freely. I can't tell you about
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: oh shit, SO and so hit me up for a
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: brand deal. Oh mindy and I just did Sony Hall
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: and we made ex y. I can't talk about no
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: numbers like that, Okay to what's the crime that you like? Yeah,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: what's an acceptable crime?
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Do you? Why? One? Maybe?
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: But like the Tiffany Hattish bitch went too far, just
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: like multiple.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Not the prostitution. You could sell little pussy and I think, hey,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: okay with it? Of course you would.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: I dated a guy who had a du y and
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: he couldn't drive, so he had to uber everywhere.
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: You're coming from New York, that wouldn't be an issue,
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: but here.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Wow drive You said that?
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Like for women, if you if you were dating a
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: man and he had a prostitution, would you be open
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: to a man with jiglo?
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Would you be okay with knowing your man was selling dick? Oh?
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: How good is it? Is it worth? Is it worth selling?
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Isn't that great? Because I'm gonna tell you something. I'm
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: talking about it.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: Sometimes my nigga be giving me massages and nigga can't
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: even be me in another bitch and I'd be like, I.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Just now he did a Sometimes he be putting a
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: dick on the foe.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: It just go too smoothly, and I just feel like
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: I'd be like, yo, you're lying to me. But he
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: had to sell the dick to women because you see,
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: nature boy was giving it to men.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: No, I don't know the name. Oh my god, girl,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: get with it. I saw the girl. Oh no, you
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: gotta go to the YouTube. It was bad. It was bad,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: but it was good. It was bad, but it was good.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: Anyways, speaking of dicking all the things after after you know,
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: uh yeah, I think we're ten minutes ten?
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Are we ten minutes? Ten? Yo?
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: Me? Okay, cool, Now we can get to the ships.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: So Shaye invited me to a play party. Yes, and
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: this was this was maybe only my third play party
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: here in Atlanta. I of course went to one with Susia,
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: but I know them from New York. And then I
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: went to a like it was a petting party, like
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: like dressing up as a furry No, not like a
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: like a Everyone just petted each other and gave massage.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: There wasn't really any intercourse happening, but it was like
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: you could have a massage with six hands, eight hands,
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: Like it was just how was that sexy or was
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: it like annoying after a while, because like, were you
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: not allowed to fuck? I just said, my Ni could
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: be doing a massage on me in a bitch.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: To get us open. I mean, to me, it was.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: But to me it was great for those who like intercourse.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: Isn't the by all be all with people, especially in
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: the kink space, a lot of them are going for
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: other different sensations.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: A lot of kinky and not having sex, so me too.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: But I mean it was advertised as a as a
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: pet so I wonder if.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: It's almost disrespectful if like, for example, I've been at
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: a party and you know, let's just say there's impact
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: play and then maybe fingers go inside of me.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Think that's a play party.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: This one, this one was specifically catered to it being
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: like you coming to learn about how to please your
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: person from touch Central.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: It was.
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: It wasn't even promoted as a play party. It was
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: like a pet party. So you were going in there
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: to literally be and you could either be the giver
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: or the receiver, and we literally swapped. There was like
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: maybe eight different massage tables, and you had someone in
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: the Toyomi leg Tyomi led it and so she was
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: in front. Actually yeah, I was in front. I agreed
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: to be her muse and so she was demonstrating on me.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Everyone else had to literally like massage from your hands,
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: like the way that you can literally like be aroused
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: by your hands and where to touch on the back
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: of your neck.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: So it wasn't like a party that was catered to.
• 14:22
  Speaker 5: Sex party was Oh no, your party was.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: It went down.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: I walked in that bitch and there was three different bedrooms.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: So you didn't even know about the party until the
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: day y'all met.
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: Right, because she was asking, do you do we want
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: to go to Tokyo Valentine?
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, So so I hated it, but I was
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: with we were with other friends who came in from
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: out of town, and so I was just like, do
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: you want to see the craziest thing and how what
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: they it's like? To me, it was like for research purposes,
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: but to show someone else because I had never seen
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: glory holes or a.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Lot of pretty vanilla even though they had six books.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, so you maybe want to go back to
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: that question and bad class and two of them were
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: like married, So like I was like, do you want
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: to see like what a sexpace looks at in the
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: look looks like in the Bible belt where any it was,
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: anything goes, but it's not a place where.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: They have a consents speech. There's not niggas are in.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: There with ski masks, so I like, and there's working
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: girls for forty ski mask part is for.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: No she has ass up. You just getting to see.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: So she went, how it is no, no, no, you know,
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: I'm trying not to look at you cause the lines
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: I'm getting.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: Oh no, it's fine.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: It was like it was like the it's one of
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: the places where in terms of being someone who's been
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: open to sex spaces.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: So you basically were like, do y'all want to go
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: to Tokyo Volantino?
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Like well they were like, she was, well, I actually
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: have a play party this weekend.
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: And so I'm in Kinks of Color, Kingsters of Color.
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: Kinsters of Color, and they were actually I had offered
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: my home to host the party.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: So I was like, actually, we're having a party at
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: my house. How large is the group Kingkster's of Color.
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: It's about three hundred people, But that's not who was
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: at my party. There was only thirty, thirty to fifty.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: I was about to say, with fifty people, how'd you
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: get it down to fifty?
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: Well, it's just who bought the ticket to come.
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: So they offer events every month and then everybody doesn't
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: you know my high ragal conflict.
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: It's a memorial the weekend, everybody's not available. So that's
• 16:15
  Speaker 5: how that was.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: And I will say it was one of the first
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: parties where the vetting form.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, I really enjoyed the vetting form.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: It literally the first question was how do you and
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: they asked this also in the consent speech, it was
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: what does consent look like to you? And so answering that,
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: and it was also they me and my friend that
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: I brought in the thing it said when was your
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: last test results? Because there was different bands worn at
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: the party, yep, to where it was within two weeks,
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: within thirty days, and so green you're within two weeks
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: of testing thirty.
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: Days you got yellow and then red is over thirty.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: Ob and literally yellow no, and literally but literally the
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: check in table was like I need.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: To see the result. Yeah, I love it too. I'll
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: be honest. I how that happened, That's what I'm saying.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: I love it. I loved it. So I was like, oh,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: this is cool getting consent.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: And then you know what happened? How many red, yellow, green?
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: How most people have red green?
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Great? Most people very very like everybody gets tested. People
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: were getting tested before.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, some is I'm just thinking of the party party,
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: you know, the party I was green bitch. I said, oh,
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: you know what I did, showed my ship from uh
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: it's me holding my negative sign at black Market Fleet
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: just got tested.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, both, and.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: Then we did to when we did the authors event
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: at em University.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: They also offered uh HIV testing and.
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: That helps to have the members of kingst color our
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: arm press, so we also don't have that problem either.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Like, are there many I've never heard of?
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Besides like because I live in New York, besides the
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: sex club community of like suit here NSFW, and then
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: sometimes people that do like Chemistry and YC.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: But I haven't really heard of a.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: Black kink group outside of like mo Cafest Chocolate Bliss,
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: which to me is like a vacation thing.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: No, there's.
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: Well I'm not the founder. There are several of them.
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: There's fat Life. You know about fat Life on fat Life.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: There's several kink communities and this one I like because
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: it's not just kink, it's kink, BDSM and lifestyle, all
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: three different, and so when you go to the party,
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: you see all three things. So some people are just
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: kink up. They just want to do kinky things. Some
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: people want to do BDSM things.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: For people listening to this also, because we just had
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: a similar conversation on our patreon, could you explain the
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: difference between someone into kink, someone into and someone who's.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Like no, no.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: That was a Patreon see you don't we bring horrible
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: shit over here again. But could you explain the difference
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: between the three because a lot of people intertwine the
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: three of them and they're not.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: They're not, they're no.
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: You could be kinky and not want to.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: Have ki two things that are kinky and not BDSM kinky.
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: So like having different fetishes, So like a foot fetish, yep,
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: that's kinky, but it's not BDSM yep. BDSM is when
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: you think about dumbs and subs and do you want
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: to be tied up or do you want to be
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: a sub and you want to serve somebody?
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: That's BDSM. Kink could be like different fetishes that.
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: You might have or things that just what turns you on,
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: what things that turn you on, and it doesn't have
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: to be sexual, right, it could be. Also in BDSM
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: there's impact play, so you have some people who do
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: impact play.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: You said you did it, power exchange, power exchange, feathers.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: People do different types of things that sensory play that
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: people are.
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: In and I consider bdsum so like, I've realized that
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: that's something that when I go to play spaces, especially
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: if I'm not going with a partner, that that's the
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: space that I get to enjoy.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: That you like that.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: So Scarlet was one of the ladies there, and she
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: is a pleasure.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Don the dom all the way the pleasure dom.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: So she literally before mind you, she performed and where
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: I do have my boundaries with impact play, she had
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: a paddle with tax.
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: On yes to where she was hitting that girl was bleeding.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: He was bleeding girl leading and she wanted to keep
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: being spanked.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: And literally Scarlett is like, I don't want a girl
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: service doesn't.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: Blow your mind sometimes when you're because I watched a
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: scene once where I watched the asket purple yeah, and I'm.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: Like, I know she's getting what she wants, but at
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: some point, when does they that turns her on? That
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: does not turn me on. I'm not into anything like that.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: What are your hard So I'm more I'm.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: More lifestyle so when I go to parties, I go
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: to fuck, like straight up, I don't go to do
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: any of those things.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: I go.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: I'm always in a room getting a gang bang or
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: having an orgy.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: A gang bang girl. Well I got to watch her
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: even be a part of a ten.
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: Woman on female orgy. So it was all women, all
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: women if that's a gang bang. Okay, yeah I did
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: that too, and it was so much fun. We were
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: there for like an hour.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: Now, I'm not gonna lie, y'all was in there for
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: a minute.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: And the way it was set up the room, you
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: could look through the room with glasses, so like everyone
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: just was walking in and out just looking.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: But in your house talking about a glass. Oh no, no, no, no,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: it's a man. I think you're like the FBI. Oh yeah,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: you know what the interrogation does look like that.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: She literally has a mansion, so she had like three bedrooms,
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: a kitchen, of dance floor.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: Like her, the basement of your house is trying nor
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: it's an a vent space.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah wow yeah, and like to where I was like, bitch,
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: I kind of want to throw something in her.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Okay, So gang bang I like them personally.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: So my favorite porn to watch is BUKACKI gang bangs
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: because I feel like gang bang specifically, sometimes it's just
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: not enough.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: What's the bukaki?
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: The boukaki is when you're seeing like the semen, so
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: like multiple people are coming during the gang bang.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, but on you, but on you. I'm a twinkie,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: so you want inside you? Yes? And so for people
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: who would be like, all right.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: You you you said that you like to hole responsibly.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Whole responsible, you know, I have something for y'all. Speaking
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: of okay, let's get there. Oh my god.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Okay, Sody's bag that she left at my house and
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: it ended up in the chat. You said this yourself,
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: this is my sex club bag, and I was like,
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, well, this was also a makeup bag. So
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: I used to like, I use all the same things,
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: like look, that's makeup. Could be come, no, it's not come,
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: that's makeup, or it could be looped. So oh, someone
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: took my wipes out of here. I did have white
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: flushable wipes, but there were wipes in here. Al show glide,
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: I've hand sanitizer, I have tingly lipped and nipple bomb.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I have a butt plood. Oh, I have U. This
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: is all for me.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, I have batteries in case anyone, okay, vibrator and
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: then this is also loub but that like tastes like
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: sucking blow loube and oh and poppers.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: And what's pop? That to me is such sex club.
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: This is very like gay I am so I am
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: like everything I do, I do sober.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I don't get drunk or high. I just do it.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: So this like makes your muscles relax.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: So for me, especially with the impact play, okay, it
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: just allows it allows me not to like be as tense.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Let's bring back to sober. I want to talk about that.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Toops for bringing my back absolutely, and I have.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Something for you.
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: So I have I have one for Mandy and one
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: for Wheezy. Yay, okay, this is this is Wheezy.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: This is me. They say something responsibly. This is this
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: is to promote my book touch Just give me the meat, raise.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: A holy response, switch out, just give me to me, just.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Give me the meat. Oh, let me explain, so hold
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: and responsibly.
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: I have a chapter in my book called Holan responsibly
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: because I'm on prep and doxy pep so and I'm
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: on the IUD.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Now, doxy is something that you take as needed. Take
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: after unprotected sex.
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: You just brought two doxy cycling and that prevents committee
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: of gonnery and syphilis. So it makes me quote unquote
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: bulletproof from a sexual perspective. So I'm hoe and responsibly.
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: I get to have sex the way I want to.
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: If I want to be a twinkie, I can. And
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: I'm also don't have to worry about catching anything.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, So I want to ask you something about sobriety
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: and gang bangs. I was having a conversation with my
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: boyfriend about scenes that we've seen.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: As sex parties, and he's like, one of the scenes.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: That always makes me go, oh shit is when I
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: see multiple men and a woman not looking like they're
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: just taking their turn or whatever. He's like, I'm always
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: looking around because at some point I'm like, all right,
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: is there someone conducting it?
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Like is she? Does she have someone that's like, yeah,
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: you're gonna fuck You're gonna do this. I'm being dombed up.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: He's like, but the inhibition.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, sometimes when I've seen that, I
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: always think they had to get a little high or
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: a little drunk to be able to relax. Yeah, you
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: may be the first person I've ever met that says
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: they've done gang bang sober.
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: Well, sex is my high. So if I'm in the zone,
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: I'm in the zone. I'm in the zone, and I'm enjoyed.
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: I enjoy pleasure, and that's something that maybe I do
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: it for sport, I don't know, but I do it
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: for me. It's pleasurable for me, So I am enjoying
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: the acts, each stroke, each I want to feel it.
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: And also I write about my experiences.
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: If I'm high or drunk, I can't recall it to
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: write about it, so I need to be sober so
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: I can remember every I like to describe the size,
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: the feel, the stretch that I feel when they insert it.
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: I like to describe the moans, what he says, how
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: he touched me, how he pulled me, how.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: He moved me. If I'm high or drunk, I'm not
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: going to recall all of that in order to write it.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: I'm also curious in terms of doing it sober. I
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: think for a lot of women drinking liquor, especially like
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: I think for me for some things, was like you
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: could blame it on that I'm alcohol, right, So I
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: want to know in terms of being this liberated with
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: kinky sex and sex that is normally that comes with shame.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: But when a woman admits that she enjoys it, how
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: did you get past the shame of the stuff that
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: you like to be able to express out loud? I
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: like multiple dicks? Give me me like, how did you
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: work past that shame?
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: How did you get there?
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: I think this has been a journey, and I talk
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: about that in touch because I didn't start off this way.
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: I was a church girl initially. You know I started out.
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: Makes you freaky, no, But I think that for me,
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: I had church hurt, so I took about of purity.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm going to be a virgin,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: so I get married.
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: In college, I was pure like and I got you
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: long your virginity late in college.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: That's late, you said pure. And I do think like
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: the average age. Now they're saying.
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: It was teens, it's now no, These these gen zs
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: are waiting until wait till at this time. Let's say
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: I'm like eighteen eighteen, I'm in college and I was
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: taking a vour purity. So I went to church, wore
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: white dress, got a ring on my finger. I'm gonna
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: stay puritical marriage. Okay, So I was date raped by.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: The youth pastor.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: When I called the pastor to tell him, he said,
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: what were you wearing? So that brought me shame because
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: I'm thinking, here, I am trying to do the right thing,
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: and I don't even have anybody having my back, you know,
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: nobody held him accountable or anything like that. And it
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: took me on a journey. And that's really what I
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: started writing about, is the journey to get from there
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: to this place that I am now. It's a big journey,
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: is in years of this. So it didn't happen overnight.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Did you leave the church after that happened?
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: Not immediately? But yes, I'm not Christian today. I'm not
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: churchy at all at all. And I find that there
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: is no disconnect between sexuality and spirituality. So I like
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: to say I found God in places the church never
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: told me to look.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Another author, Kennedy Ryan, Yes, her, I just hosted her
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: New York book not screening, I love her, signing whatever
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: release And we were in a church actually, and I
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: kept joking like, y'all.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Can you believe the wheezy stop was like the church?
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: And She's like, yeah, I'm not scared to talk about spirituality,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: faith and sex.
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: It goes together if if you when you plug into sex,
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: you have the most spiritual connections through orgasm. I says,
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: I've met God, I've met divine femin and I've had
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: conversations through orgasm.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: You've met God. She because God is God is a she.
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: Because because we have a portal that connects us to
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: the divine, we have a direct connect to the divine
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: and we don't even realize it.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: They don't want us to know that.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: But when we orgasm, we literally have this portal opens
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: and you can ask for whatever you want and you
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: can get it now.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: I want to that, ain't I want to say I
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: don't agree with this while I say it, However, what
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: you just said I agree with.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: I have seen a.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: Bunch of manisphere means talking about how women also included
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: sharing this.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I think it's very manisphere. Think how our body is
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: a portal and divine, so we shouldn't be letting multiple
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: people in it.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: How we're so connected patriarch, how it disrupts our spirit,
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: et cetera. Like have people ever said that to you
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: to counteract how you live your life and be like yeah,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: but you're doing X Y Z, Like yeah, what does
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: that make you think? Because you do agree that we
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: are a portal.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: And we are a portal, But think about this. Women.
• 29:37
  Speaker 5: Women don't have a refractory period, so when we come,
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: we can come again and again and again again.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Men can't.
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: Who are we supposed to be having sex with? They
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: can't do what we do, So think about it like that.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: Why is it in the world?
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: Why is your body created to keep doing it multiple times,
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: multiple ways? You can organs them fourteen different ways, multiple times,
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: all simultaneously.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: He can't keep up with that.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: This is a great like debate and like counteraction with
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: the comment that Acon made about I could have one
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: hundred kids and you can only have one at a time.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: You're supposed to only hold one, but I could make
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: a bunch. We're supposed to procreate, I mean I think
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: I think that they do. There's a difference between reproduction
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: and then.
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: All pleasure and pleasure. Our vagity glitterist is just for pleasure.
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: It's not for procreation. It's just for pleasure. We have
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: bodies for pleasure, like our glitterists allowing us to have
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: orgasms fourteen different ways.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: That's because we're supposed to.
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: That's why FGM, the God has created us to have pleasure.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: That is our birthright.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: Okay, and we can have pleasure in multiple ways men, women,
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: multiple men, doesn't matter, you know. So for me, I
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: feel like I'm using my body in the way it
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: was intended.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: Do have you heard the church say?
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: I believe there was a clip I saw online about
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: sexual devians and kink and queerness being connected to assault trauma.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: Sure? Sure, And in.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: Your personal life, how were you able to recover, to
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: be able to to live so liberated?
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: And yeah, I found healing through pleasure. And absolutely I've
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: experienced sexual trauma. I think what three out of four
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: women have? I mean, so that's common, right. All of
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: us are not in kink spaces, but I think when
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: you do come there, you can find you are seen.
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: So when I talk about my trauma, when I talk
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: about rape. So one of the things I enjoy in
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: kink is consensual non consent. Me too, because I've been raped.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: I enjoy when I get to choose a safe partner
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: and I get to have the control, and I get
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: to set the scene and say you come in through
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: the window and take it.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: I will say that was interesting in terms of the
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: consent speech. That was the one kink that they say
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: that they said you could not do here, yes, just
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: because I've never heard that any consistent.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: I've me either, and I'm real thorough. I'm not gonna lie.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: It was very thought out on, like what were some
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: of the other things you remember from I know that
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: that was a big one.
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: And we all went around and said what this consent
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: looked like for us, so that you would know if
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: I if I, if I do this.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm not gonna hold you. That was gonna
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: be something else.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: We all started off by introducing ourselves by our names
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: and what consent looks like to us.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Some of us said, it looks like a hell motherfucking yes. Yes.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: Other people also led with just saying what they were
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: there for for the night, so like they would say,
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: I get I'm here just to watch.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: I think mine was it's a hell yes for impact
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: and massages. For me, yeah, I was ready to get
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: fucking massage.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: And I did have quite a bit.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: I like three or four different people spank me, bring
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: out tools like I was there for impact because I
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: knew that that's what I wanted, and so it looked
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: like that. It looked like people addressing what they were
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: there for and just saying, you know what a yes
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: sounded like.
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: To that yes because obviously I'm gonna have It's like,
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: so I only had sex with the with the ten women.
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: I did not have sex with the man last.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: Or on Saturday. I did not.
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: Typically I will, but that day I just wanted. I
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: needed to be healing. Like I said, pleasure is healing.
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: So that was healing for me. That was medicine for me,
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: just to be with my sisters and to experience pleasure.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: And anyway, I've never called someone I sucked the sister
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: these are? These are women? You call them black women
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: and sisters? They're black? Yeah?
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: Wait, but like I will say, I'm white person, I
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: get kick a color hold on away.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: Wait, let me get to the point here, do you
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: is it sisterhood or sisters sisters with Are you saying
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: black women? Is why you said sisters?
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: They're black souls?
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: Yes, sisters, but also we're women.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Huh because I never like, these are not like my girlfriend,
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: my partner's daddy. What's I got? Sisters? We gotta tell
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: you why. It was the sisterhood. Yeah, tell you why.
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: So imagine somebody's eating your pussy, right you are. You
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: reach over and you grab somebody's arm and you're stroking it,
• 33:41
  Speaker 5: or you grab somebody's boob, you're stroking it, they're grabbing
• 33:44
  Speaker 5: your leg.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: You turn over, you eat.
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: Her pussy while somebody's eating your pussy.
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: At the end of the whole night, we literally gathered
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: around this one sister and it was we were like
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: orgasm doulas, like flushering her into her orgasm. She birthed
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: this big, beautiful orgasm and we were like coaching her sisters.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: But but I actually with this, it's a community. I
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: like orgasm dula, orgasm.
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: Doula, and nobody told us to do it. We just
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: sinked in and did it like it was a sisterhood.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: It literally felt spirits.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: What do you call because I know you told me
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: at one point you've done a party where you had
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: seven of your lovers there.
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: And even at that party there were seven of my
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: love there was maybe more than seven of my life. Okay,
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: so what happens because we're we're in a group, it
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: is you're gonna see an I've been with her, I've
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: been with him.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: It's a community. Has then you've been with a girl
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: I was with, I have not been. Well. She was
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: she was a part of the ten Women Orange. Also
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: technically I was watching, but I wasn't. She had her
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: face in some other in this other girl's pauses. It
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: was it was that was hers. Then she participated in
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: the ten was ten and a half.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, so so that I didn't know that
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: she was. Oh wait, are we talking about the the
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: the curlier girl. So yeah, so I didn't even know.
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: I couldn't see. There was bodies on bodies and the
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: ten bitches all on each ok, one did like on
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: one bed swim people one. But it was it was
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: like a river of women, the river like.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: Waves. Baby all was so beautiful like this. But yeah,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: we ended up uh.
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: Me and another guy gave her a massage together, so
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: we like, you know, massage, and then I ended up.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: First in her as. Yeah, I was in that whole way.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: She knew she would like her. She's so cute. I
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: knew she was. Yeah to wait.
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: What I also liked is she started as the bartender
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: and she was just so like she was bartending and
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: like like she was just making my drink so thoughtful.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Let me say thank you. No, but she was just
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: so so nice.
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: Earlier when Mandy and you before we got on camera,
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: you were.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: Like Mandy told me her tight and I was like,
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: I got it, and she did, I ain't gonna hold you.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: As soon as I got in, I saw her making
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: the drinks. I said, I said, but you was right.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: And then that was the girl I ended up playing with.
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: The other girl we just did impact play, but that
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: was the girl that I.
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I said, I told Mandy, you know, you might
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: be interested because she I knew that girl only wanted
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: girl play too, and she did.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: And she literally said that that she only wanted to
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: build a girl.
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because sometimes masculine energy is a lot and sometimes
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: you just can't do it.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: You don't have the capacity for it, you know.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I will say, like there was one moment
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: there was this guy. He was like bigger than like
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: what I was interested in, and I don't normally play
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: with men, but I did like he wanted to be smothered,
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: and so I don't know if you saw, I made
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: him literally in the middle of the floor. I was
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: just like, okay, fun and I literally just like sat
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: on it and then got up and was like you
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: can get up now, and I loved it.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Yes, but that's what he wants.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was just like okay, and I literally
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: like like smothered him. I thought, you know, I had
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: this interaction a week ago with a woman that.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: So initially we.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: Approached her as a couple, and I think I told
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: my man to go get her and she came over
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: saw me and was like oh and looks at my boyfriend,
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: goes I'm actually a lesbian, and I'm like, why did
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: you say yes to this? She was like sometimes I
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: just like the male energy whatever, but like I didn't
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: really think you were gonna be my vibe. And literally
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: after that was like, yeah, we can go on a date,
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: but not with him. And I was like, this is
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: super interesting because I've had many scenarios myself where I
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: was about to have a threesome, I was interested in
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: a couple, and then I was just like whoop. Sometimes
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: that feminine energy just starts to hit me. And even
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: though he's not a thirsty nigga by any means, sometimes
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: you almost associate men with like, oh, we want to
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: do her, like you kind of want them away. And
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: I'll be feeling like you're so lucky to be in
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: the prisons.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: So I wanted to know for you, for your male
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: lovers that night, did you forewarn them? Were they like
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: getting excited by seeing you?
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Did you let them know I'm not looking for dict tonight?
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: Oh, so I should tell you I'm not a relationship girly.
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: I'm give me the meet, fuck me and leave. That's
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: my philosophy. So they already know if we you know,
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: it ain't no lovey dovey stuff, it's just ever No,
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: what do you mean?
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: How long has it been like that for you? I
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: know you also said this is your second whole face.
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: Well since I started this whole phase after a breakup
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: almost two years ago. I tell them my heart's not
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: on the table, my purse is not on the table,
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: because that's the other thing for me. When you pull
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: up to my house, I drive a poor she It's
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: so you're gonna people are going to assume I'm a
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: sugar mama and I'm not. So I let that be known.
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: Don't ask me for shit.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: And I didn't realize when she said that when we
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: met and then bitch.
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: I'all pulled up to her house and I said, oh,
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: a nigga, Yes, they will say that, I will see
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: how it is. It is and I'm not especially if
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: someone is single. And now do you think that, but
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: where does the where does a non relationship like okay,
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: two years break up? So you have been a relationship person,
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: but for.
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: Sure, my whole book is like navigating all my relationships.
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: And then you see me go through this journey that
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: I'm on now where I'm not in relationships and I'm
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: just having sex for pleasure and I'm prioritizing my line.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: So then what did he do to you? To me?
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: Who hurt you? For the Well, it's not he.
• 39:27
  Speaker 5: All of them, none of them.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: None of them hurt you.
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: Every single person I've ever been in a relationship with,
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: none of them could meet me where I am. None
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: of them had the capacity for the whole of me,
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: meaning I'm too much for them, and I don't want to.
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: I don't want to try it again to see can
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: you can you contain.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: All that I am? I don't even want to give
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: you that opportunity. I can contain it. It's sexually, it's
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: professionally on a low level.
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: You can't handle me on any level. All you can
• 39:54
  Speaker 5: do is.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: Fuck me and lead.
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: That's just how I'm forties.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so you had to have met someone in your
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: life that you thought this is it. We all have
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: that one.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when it comes to that moment where you're like,
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: to me, there has to be some sort of major
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: disappointment to not want even any type of relationship or
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: emotional connection or too much disappointment.
• 40:17
  Speaker 5: Is And that's what I'm saying.
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: I'm at the end of that relationship that my last relationship,
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: which is my book, is called touch. At the end
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: of that relationship, I realize I'd never been touched.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: I never am being seen.
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: Being fully held being No one has ever, no one
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: has ever from a spiritual, mental, physical, sexual, any capacity,
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: been able to hold all that I am. I have
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: to shrink myself in all of those relationships. Nobody could
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: hold me.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: But we also like don't meet.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: I have a friend that just got married at forty one,
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: So like, I think, do you think that there really
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: is nobody?
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: I'm okay, I'm not. This is not a boohoo woe
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: is me? I'm good hello. Because one of the things
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: I realized too is upgrade every man that I'm with,
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: and I decided I don't want to pour my energy
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: into that. I don't want to upgrade you on upgrade me.
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: So I'm pouring into myself. And this period is very selfish.
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: I'm elevating me, I'm expanding my business and all I
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: want to do is have sex and enjoy it.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: What happens if emotions happen? Do you blame yourself? Do
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: you blame the situation? Like I just don't let it
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: get there.
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: So I don't even have conversations with them, But we
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: don't talk on the phone, we don't hang out, like
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: those are the boundaries I.
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: Set up to keep it what it is.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: This is an interesting thing for a lot of people
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: that want to learn how to have sex without emotion attachments.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because I told you, I actually you liked being
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: attached well, and for the very first I don't know
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: seven years of this pod, casual sex was something that
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: I enjoyed.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: It's told said for a while she didn't need kissing
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: before sex, and I like kissing.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, well, it's not that I didn't like it.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: I didn't need it. Yeah, I didn't need.
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: Someone to cuddle with me or lay up with me,
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: like there was there was quite a bit of time
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: where I was having sex and they would either leave
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: right after or if I was at their house, I
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: just want to be my own bed.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I didn't like being at other.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: People's home, okay for even that, like just come to
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: me and then good. I could kick you out when
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: I don't want you in my space anymore. But since
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: my first relationship, which now ever, since then, I feel
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: like I'm a relationship curly, I need intimacy, and I
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: need intimacy in forms of things that come outside of sex,
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: like and.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Wheezy's Like I'm sick. Am you saying this? Bitch?
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's the bare minimum, but take out my traship,
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: you see it full if something is broken in my house,
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: like I'm not gonna lie, Yomi, I loved. I don't
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: have much company here in Atlanta and her uh and
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: her friend came over one day and it's a girl,
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: but she fixed my toilet and even that little fix no,
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: but you know how she wait, the lesbian couple you know,
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: came and fixed well what but it was it's like
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: stuff like that to me, like do that stuff?
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: Like or like so to me, like if a man
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: is in my house, if something is down.
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: If you me and your girlfriend came over and pictures
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: till I'd be like, I don't need anig anymore.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: No, don't show me.
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: No, Like she was like, oh no, and it was
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: it wasn't my toilet, it was my toilet paper holder,
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: but it was like loose and she was like, oh do.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: You have this?
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: And like so to me, when a man enters my
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: home and either the next time they come, they're bringing
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: something to make things easier simpler, Like I've had, you know,
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: that's very thoughtful, and I've had a partner like you
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: want you want your curtains hung up like you know,
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: or like again the trash being taken out or.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: Doing the dishes, or when we wake up.
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: In the morning, I coming back to my room and
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: my bed is made like I just like and I
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: need that.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: Now you can get that.
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: And I think that works for you because you can
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: get with you. I don't need that.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: You don't need it.
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: What does aftercare then look like for you? I don't
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: need aftercare. Wow, I don't need be put and dumb and.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: Pomp and dump.
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: And I'll say lock the door on your way out.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: How you then recovered from those moments because you said
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: sex is healing.
• 44:08
  Speaker 4: So for me, I do a lot of spiritual things.
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: So you have to understand when when when when I
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: have sex? If I'm let's say I'm manifesting something, so
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: I do sex magic. So let's say he need he
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: so if he ejaculate, said me, I can reach up
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: there and grab that wrap that around my candle, put
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: my bay leaf on.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: Their lights around a candle, his nut. His seamen is soldiers.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: Do Oh no, y'all know, ain't this witchy ship?
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: But this linear explaining semen is soldiers. So you the
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: way semen go get a baby? They can go get anything.
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: She gotta mansion.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: You don't say that I have a manner, but you
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: get some coming a candle.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: I got a man hold on not too much. Yes,
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: a mansion, but I got a man or baby.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: That's cool. I didn't know what a spot I got.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: Everybody can get what they want. Hello, I got what
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: they want. That's good. She said that you pulled up
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: to my Do you feel what was that to me?
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: To be fair, to be fair, I did just get
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: told that I'm not human and I did just get
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: told that that because I get you know, I have
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: all the things.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: There's nothing like that.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: I don't want that when I say I'm get something
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: like uh, someone feels like they were summoned. Yeah, and
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: so that was interesting to hear.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: Uh And you know what's crazy? I had to sit
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: with it.
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: Remember the nigga that I told you was on my
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: wall as a child, I could think of all the
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: baby hold on.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: Actually no, Yomi knows.
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: We talked about it more the people that throughout like
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: my entire life, whether I was a fan of them,
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: whether I had a crush on them.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: It's like almost like really crazy, that's manifestation. You don't
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: want to believe that I'm manifested dick. Wait what and
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: I'm manifest dick too? Yeah, but like hold on, wait,
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: let's keep going on.
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: But tell me you wrap the semen around and card
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: over because were gonna click this up take the sea.
• 46:00
  Speaker 5: Okay, so now listen this. You don't do this with anybody.
• 46:05
  Speaker 4: Let's say let's say I'm sleeping with somebody who is
• 46:07
  Speaker 4: that he owns multiple businesses, Like it's got to be
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: like how powerful steam?
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, okay powerful. This is why niggas throw
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: away to come. But I don't want your babies.
• 46:18
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, I'm not trying to get pregnant or
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: anything like that because she got an IUD.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I have iu D.
• 46:23
  Speaker 4: I need the steaming because your seamen is powerful. You
• 46:26
  Speaker 4: don't even know that.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: You spill it on the floor, you spill it in
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: a towel.
• 46:29
  Speaker 4: You don't even know. I know what I'm gonna use
• 46:31
  Speaker 4: it for. So I will have an intention. I will
• 46:33
  Speaker 4: reach up my juices, his juices combined. I will wrap
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: it around a candle. I write on a bay leaf
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: what I want, like.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: On a bay leaf, like what you put in like cabbage,
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: a bai bay leaf, like seasons.
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: It's like a leaf, it's dry. You write on it
• 46:50
  Speaker 4: what you want. You write, you're a manifestation. You write
• 46:53
  Speaker 4: it on there, light the candle.
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: Yes, I put that in in a lot of like
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: like my oxtail, like you might.
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: Just on it and it's use it for magic. Absolutely,
• 47:03
  Speaker 4: And he's did see this happen? Like they see my
• 47:05
  Speaker 4: altars right beside my bed. You fuck next to an altar.
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: You didn't see my aultin You were getting dressed next
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: to the Oh shit, no, you can say.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: Things that I do. I'm witchy, but like, I don't.
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: Know if maybe Mandy didn't notice it. It's just like
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: you're just seeing crystals in the candles and.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: Think about it. It's just an alter. It's a whole altarch.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: It was, but I didn't even realize that that was
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: your Yes, you fuck.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: Next to So it was such magic because my magic
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: I've done solo and my man and I did it
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: before we bought our house.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: Did I tell you about how we said we was
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: gonna live in a house like that? Okay, this is crazy.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: This hod no sex magic bucket. It works. It absolutely.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: We went to a game night.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: I can't even say the location now, but it was
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: in the hills. And during this game night, he kept saying,
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: God's fire, I want to live like this, like but
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm fuck with la ha ha ha.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: That night we're fucking.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: I remember it was a full moon and my period
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: was all and so he always he says, oh, you
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: know you in alignment. Yeah, So we start fucking and
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: right when I'm oh, that's the strong.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: It is strong.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: People don't know it's strong pennismell. So while I'm about
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: to orgasm. He's having me hold it because you know,
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: the veil is very thin when.
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: You come it is, so you get it.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: Yes, he's like, think about that house, Yes, think about
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: the house.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: And he's like, what are we going to do in
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: the house? And now, but he's making sure my eyes
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: are open. He's like, look at me, and we're talking
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: about the house. Fucking it's amazing. Yes, did not even
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: hit me.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: Boom.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: We end up buying a house in La It's in
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: the hills, is beautiful. I in my phone type in
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: my zip code. After we bought the house, I could
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: pull up a picture. The only photos that came up
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: were my house in the pictures from that game night.
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: It's the same up.
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: And it. When I tell you, it freaked me the
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: fuck out.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: And while we were fucking, we just started talking about
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: that house, right, and I'm like, oh my god, oh no,
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: let's be very clear, not that our book isn't great,
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: but knowing that we both kind of manifest shit. We
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: only wanted to be New York Times bestsellers.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: Nobody believed that we would be able to do it.
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: We didn't get traditional media. Our own publisher was like,
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: we don't know how to sell this or push it
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: or market it.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: No, and there's like we got a blog that doesn't
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: really cover like women pods or anything, but they like
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: are obsessed about talking about Mandy because she was everyone talks.
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: She had she had an alignment to the Joe Bidden
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: podcast at some point and there was a guy and
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: it really hurt my feelings.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: It's a show.
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: No, we don't, we don't bleep it up a minute
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: mark well whatever that nigga said, Oh New York's Times
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: a seller.
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: Charlemagne must have bought that for them, And I was like,
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: you know, wow, like mind you because it was sent
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: to me and I was like, fuck, why would you
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: think that low of us?
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: Fuck it.
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: Albeit we're whores and we're there, and you don't think
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: we have enough used Do you really think for a
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: moment you can't even buy it? You can't buy your
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: way in you your How are you went to a
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: sex club?
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: You could buy your way to love? Have you been
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: to about a sedition? Hey, buy yourself.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: We've been around ten years and you think we couldn't
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: have thousands of people purchase of a book when we do.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: Have thousands of people. That's the purchaser but but yeah,
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: it was. Yeah, but I know the power isn't manifest now.
• 50:24
  Speaker 4: And an orgasmic manifestation, which is what you described. You didtation,
• 50:29
  Speaker 4: and that is a form of magic. It is what
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: I talk about. That is a form of sex magic.
• 50:34
  Speaker 4: What I talked about, what I just described is a differ.
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: It's all sex magic.
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: But I do use I ain't gonna hold you if
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: I'm fucking on a niggle and he make me come
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: and that nigga start to wrap his wet fingers around
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: the candle.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: I'm calling the cops. You know you're not ill, because
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: what they gonna do? I think, I don't know. I
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: was gonna be like, oh, my baby's so spiritual.
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: Now before we get out of I do want to
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: get y'all find that I want to know.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: This is tea. This is tea the.
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: Table, so bitch, So me and and Shade go out
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: to dinner and a mutual friend comes. Y'all, this is
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: the part that is goots and I can't wait. Judge
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: we listen and babe, did.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: We not judge? Oh, we judged.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: It was kind of hard, but not it was with
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: the Sisterhood at the Sisterhood have to judge.
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: You gotta set people straight. You can't leave them to.
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: Judge mind shade the same way. She came to this
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: po a little late to it when your ass walked in,
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: But I ate you did eat too, and her food
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: came right out, so she got to enjoyed the meal
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: while we helped ourselves.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: I just had to meet. See you didn't just have
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: to meet. This was like two a wing, not a sign.
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: Just give it to me, Just give it me.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: So she comes in but literally in the middle of
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: our friend sharing her dilemma. So backstory, weedy, can't wait
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: for you to hear this shit. Also a way to
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: help y'all sisters out there. Yes, So she's like, this
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: is a table of sisterhood. I trust you ladies, and
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: you know we're all talking about just where we're at
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: and love. Other people are at the table, married, me
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: and her are the representatives of Polly and lifestyle.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: So she just felt like we do only selective slug.
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, So she felt like she was at a
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: table full of people that you know, could could kind
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: of help her out. So she has been with her
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: partner for ten years, married for five Okay, Okay, they
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: have a toddler, I'll say, a child under five. And
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: so the dilemma that she brought to the table was
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: I found out my man was cheating two months ago.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: Okay. So I'm like okay. So she goes into what happened?
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: So she's like, yeah, so my man's phone wasn't turning
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: on and I told him I could take it to
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: the store, get it fixed, and bring it back.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: And she was like, thought, nothing happened, Like okay, And
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: he's a truck or so he was a truck driver,
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: so he was overnight. By the way, ladies, if you
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: were dating a truck driver, more power to red flag immediately.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: You know my boyfriend was a truck driver when he
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: was young. Oh, I ain't called you.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: You know what I thought about. I was like, so,
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: did you have a BITSI in different cities?
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: He was like, Bro, you wouldn't not exactly truck driver,
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: truck driver a ho. I know he was a ho anyway,
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: So she's like, so I took my man's phone to
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: the Apple store, okay, and they turned it on immediately.
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: She just goes to think, okay, let me go through
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: his messages now, she says, she spent a long time
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: in the messages between him and his baby mama and
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: saw a lot of inappropriate conversations, but even more so
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: so so inappropriate that the baby mama is like, can't
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: wait till you get a divorce because I think we
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: can try again. And she also found out that they
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: exchanged balentied.
• 53:56
  Speaker 5: Yes, which is a rif you already know what that means, bitch.
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: So she sees this, she's hurt by everybody's face. We're
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: not even that's not even the tevage.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: That's so we're like, oh, bitch, they fucking.
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: So she goes deeper and it's like something in my
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: spirit told me to keep going through her phone. She
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: goes through her phone and immediately goes through goes through
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: his phone and sees a text message between him and
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: a man named Bonte. Now him and Bonte are not
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: only texting each other but exchanging photos and it's a.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: Hole in dick pics. Yes, And so this leads her
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: to see this exchange.
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: He's asking this man if he got good, bussy, what
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: position he is, And so she's turned off because she's like,
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: she knows the lingo the wait, but.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: That's why. And so I'm just like, wait, was doing wait, no, no.
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: Hold on what so wait, she goes further. She's like
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: something it No, this is not it, bitch. So she
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: goes further and she's like, Okay, he's exchanging these messages
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: with his baby mama and he is sending his dick
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: to this man. I don't know what comes there. She said,
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: something in my spirit told me to just go through
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: his apps. He had six gay dating apps on his
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: mind after grinder Fish twifties, everything but six gay apps.
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: And she did, mind you she found this two months ago.
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: She did something that I don't think any woman would
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: have thought.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: The baby.
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: She did what her research and as she went to
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: his app store and decided to look up the purchase
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: and download history of these apps.
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: Bitch, he had them downloaded since twenty twenty one. Yes,
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: so he.
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: Had been on these apps for the last five years. Yes,
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: one year after they got married. Yes, they got married
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: in twenty twenty. He's had these apps downloaded since twenty
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: twenty one. Right, hear me out? Wit you ready, he's alive,
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: you ready?
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: You ready? It gets worse. He is worse. She's the breadwinner.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: He hasn't paid a mortgage, so he don't paid a mortgage.
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: And and even worse, he moved his mama in.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: She was brought roll her out. And I want you
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: all to know, by the way, both of these people
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: are black.
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: And so as we were sitting here talking to her,
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: I asked the question, which you know, was are you
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: more upset that he lied and betrayed you or that
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: it was men?
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: And to be it was.
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: Interesting it was more than he lied because she felt
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: as though she did create a safe space for him.
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: She said that she brought it to him and all
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: he did was sit down and admit to it. He
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: claimed that while he did not mess with any man,
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: which we all told you that's a lie him, she
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: does pack him, pegs him, and that's a good piece.
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: And he admitted to being transattracted.
• 56:52
  Speaker 5: Yes, he likes the dick.
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: He likes the dick, all of these things. And so
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: this is what she's doing. Bro while this woman is like.
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: Broa because she was like dad, they're gonna taken it
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: in the like.
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: This who said it's almost good? He asked the other
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: one other man he just ate as he want to switch. Okay,
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: So we were trying to sit here and figure out,
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: saying A, I mean, clearly you asked the people a live,
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: so I know what you would do.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: But it was really disheartening. I will say. You know
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: what kill me though? What actually the baby mama ship,
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.
• 57:38
  Speaker 3: I said, but you paid the mortgage and all the
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: bills because this nigga ain't got money, but he got
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: enough money to buy his baby mama balance.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: Balance's day gad.
• 57:45
  Speaker 4: I said, what are you seeing him? She said, he's
• 57:46
  Speaker 4: really sweet and he's a good dad. Girl, get a
• 57:50
  Speaker 4: good dad.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: Hold on, this is why I almost had a baby
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: with Vinnie, who's my gay best friend.
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: Who gives up? That's all you have.
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: But that's it to the point where she was like, well,
• 57:59
  Speaker 3: you know what, I'm not wearing my ring anymore. However,
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: maybe I can let him stay in the basement for
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: a year to get his money together. Before no, no, no,
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: you don't understand me. We were just like, no, ma'am,
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: what is happening here?
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: And she didn't know what she was gonna do. I really,
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: you know, I just have a little kid.
• 58:16
  Speaker 5: I don't want to be a single pant like it
• 58:18
  Speaker 5: was just say.
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: And I want to because I know we talked about
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: this with your friend. To me, it's like, ladies, I
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: need you to get under the shackles of staying with
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: a man that is not good. And and I want
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: to say two, this was really interesting and it hit me.
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: Y'all know, in a recent episode, I talked about uh
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: not really having empathy. This was Patreon not having empathy
• 58:40
  Speaker 3: for Chlobe Kardashian because she married a man who she
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: didn't know. It was really interesting to know she's been
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: with this man for ten years, married for six, he's
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: been cheating on her for the last five. And literally
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: what we were saying was, damn, you're with a man
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: that you don't know, and you still don't know him
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: because I know that there's elements of a lie there.
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: It's also so disheartening how much a black woman shows
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: up to just nurture and help you through trauma. She literally,
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: can I oppose something? Yes, not sitting on her? Oh no, girls,
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: she did? You see how she just laughed.
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: I believe someone can cheat on you for five years
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: and you saw no sign.
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: Don't believe well to me though, don't believe to be
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: though signs of cheating? Maybe not, but maybe she did
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: feel like she knew her man because she was pegging him.
• 59:27
  Speaker 3: I think that that's why that's important. So in terms
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: of kink and exploration and things that he enjoyed. She
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: was like, Bro, I'm pegging you. She said she had
• 59:35
  Speaker 3: no inclination that he was doing this, and mind you,
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: hold on. I had to tell her, I just know,
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: like we actually have to pause. What this That is
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: actually unbelievable that she didn't to me, he's gone overnight.
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: To me, that's why, like certain jobs and stuff, when
• 59:54
  Speaker 3: I say, like you should expect a man to cheat,
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: like yes, I say athletes and rappers, but like terms
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: of regular spaces, like regular jobs like y'all know, I
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: mean when you have an overnight or like firefighter, Oh
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 3: my god, they stay at the firehouse for twenty four
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: to forty eight hours. They work two days straight and
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: then they're done. So like Bro, I thought, the cops
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 3: they're literally they could go get these dick sucked in
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: the car or being the middle of the shift. It
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 3: bro in the middle of the shift, Like I had
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 3: an x rayn that was dating a police officer who
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: would come and drop dick off.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: Bro, he's engaged right now.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 5: So like a lot of them cheat. Let's just say
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 5: that they do so.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: So to me, it was like, I do find that
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 3: when some people, when you're not a woman who looks
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: because you want to believe that you and your partner
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: on the same page, and if you've been with someone
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 3: for five ten years and you're able to explore kinks,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 3: you're able to feel like you could trust him. Y'all
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 3: just created a baby together, planned, you held him down,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 3: you got his mama. Yeah, there's an element of where
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: I can see how even certain signs you just kind
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: of you don't see them, okay, and she's okay, Look
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: there's the baby's.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: He has another child. You're not one before the marriage.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: I understand.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: You're not going to tell me that a man you've
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: been with, who if you're a good if you're a
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: good partner, if he's a good dad like you say,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: means he's spending a lot of time with that other kid.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: I just don't believe. I think there has always been
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: some tension with the baby. But I think there's always
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: been something there. It's just very difficult. For example, Oh,
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: I wonder if you'll let me keep this in we
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: went to a traditional family party, and my man introduced
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: a woman and said, this is one of my aunties. Afterward,
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: I'm like, is she really want your aunties? Because why
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: does she act like she wants to fuck you? So
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: he starts smiling and laughing. He's like, no, I say, Auntie,
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: out of respect. She do be acting like that, don't she.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 3: I'm like, yo, since the day we knew each other,
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: I've always saw this woman and known there was an
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 3: attraction there right based on the way she speaks to me,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: looks at him, touches him sometimes, how.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: She may get irritated if we dance.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: I don't think there's been a sign I didn't see
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: it that you didn't see.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: You chose to ignore it. But here's the other layer
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: on top of this. You sat up with women that
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: you feel were trustworthy enough to share this with, and
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: you don't realize how much you're disrespecting yourself in the process, and.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: Somebody one of the things I do that No, no, no.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: She she literally looked at her to her face and
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: was like, at what point in your life did you
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 3: know you had the capacity for so much bullshit? Yes,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: and literally literally looked at her like there's trauma here
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: as to why you're staying with this man and in
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 3: like the most vulnerable way. She was the eldest sister
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 3: and when she was like my sisters and like there
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 3: was family trauma that made her realize her capacity for bullshit.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait there here's the
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: other layer. This is how bad we act like being
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: single is bro And that's not what you just said
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: to me?
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: Who hurt me? Why I can't? Why don't want of them?
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: Not single?
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about emotional connection, why you can't enjoy it?
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: But if you think about it too, the fear and
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 3: the way the society but they're being a single person
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: and literally like even the response people well who oh bitch,
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 3: no one's ever going.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: Okay wait wait wait hold on wait wait wait cut stop.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: I am not shaming anyone for being single. I am
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: questioning the capacity for emotional emotional like investment while being
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: sad or not.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: What we're saying that we're not talking about me. Let me,
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: let me continue speaking.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: There are many people that saying that you that aren't
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: able to do this. So to me, being that we
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: even teach after care, it is very interesting that you
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: should be like that you desire someone to do this
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: and leave. Is where I'm like, Okay, if emotional connection
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: can breed safety even in casual relationships, I cannot know
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: a nick name. You can hold me, you have three leaves,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: you could Why is that not happening? That to me
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: is not shaming. Just because I didn't want to.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: Write there's my question, I like, I really want to
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: reiterate that, like I'm gonna end up being marry with kids,
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: and I'll always ask questions about single ship and I've
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: been single and been a hole, So I don't ever
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 3: want to perpetuate the idea that it's a shame no.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: No, no, and I don't feel and we say that
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: people are shame women, so they do.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: So That's why a woman who just found out her
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 3: broke ass husband is buying balance hold on.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: Hold On is transattracted as cheated on you for the
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: last five years. It's not that bad.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: Hold On is sending his dick to men, is getting
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: ass pictures, has literally betrayed your trust. It's why though
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 3: a woman would choose to stay with a man instead
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: of being said, wait, Mandy, that society can't.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: Be a reality that we're in.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: What it is like look at society can't make me
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: feel worse than my own respect, but they do.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: They, unfortunately, the patriarchy does.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 4: A tracker will uphold her for staying with her man
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 4: versus me saying I don't want to do this.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: They will uphold her holding her husband down. And I
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: say that they have time. I say that. Doctor Sarah say.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: No, but I mean, but that's the thing she said.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: She no, That's what I'm saying. So so unfortunately we
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: have we have conversations. We just set up literally on
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: stage with another woman, ye literally going through a divorce,
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: and she's upset that she stayed so long because she's
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 3: like wait or wait no, she left and people were
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: trying to convince her, give it two more years, give
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 3: it five more years.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: People push you to stay in these un I don't
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: say this cut the marriage. I actually can understand.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 3: And I talk about this with one of my homegirls
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 3: often when we joke about forgiving a cheat, I mean, whatever,
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: just like more to the cheese.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: No, no, no no.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 2: We'll talk about how like, hey, what would the level be?
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: And I'll be like, all right, if him and the
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: bitch started text and I love you, oh, I'm out
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: for six months bitch.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: I'm out, Like I'm out the house. You gotta be
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 3: scared I might divorce your ass. But like ada, right,
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 3: the thing that becomes.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: More interesting as we talk about deception is how deep
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: the deception goes. Now we're talking about you've taken advantage
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: of me monetarily. You've now put me in a place
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: of vulnerability because I know she loves and cares about
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: his mother.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: She kicked her, now, yeah she kicked her.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but what we told her she needs to at
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 4: least get on prep. And I said, listen, you know
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 4: he messing with dudes.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: Let's just cut to the chase, because that's it. They're
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: still together.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 5: She ain't put him out there, She has not put
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 5: him out on.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 3: Before, she before, before she before she confronted him.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: She did go to getting tested and at least didn't
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: have anything.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 3: But girl, he's still in the house, and she's trying
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 3: to decide that they're gonna stay together or not. Because also,
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: I'm like, but you're the breadwinner that nigga gonna get
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 3: alimony from me, You're gonna have to pay the chees.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 3: She's not ugly, mind you, so bitch, And she's like,
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 3: I don't think you would do that, bitch. Look what
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 3: he already did to you.
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: It's in six years of him clicking around like yeah.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 3: No, listen anyways, before we get out of here, I
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 3: wish you didn't tell me. Oh no, it's crazy. Your
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 3: book can be pre ordered. Now let them know. Can
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: you take your book and hit that bitch over there
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 3: with listen?
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 4: Oh, I'm giving y'all talking talking to the I'm giving
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 4: you a taste of touch and with a little cookie.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 4: The taste of touch is just four chapters of touch. Oh,
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 4: this is fabulous that you can have as I wish
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 4: we did this.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: So do you know what I just opened to He
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: sat up his mouth, founding my nipples, sucking slowly before
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: just biting enough to make me gas.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: I wrote him.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: Harder my thighs, burning his cock. Oh you're a cock girl.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 2: I love you, see real host, I love I love
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: you white guys.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 3: I love white Oh see that's why, babe.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: I've never been with a pink dick. So I have
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: saying what is the white guy thing? I do have
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: a white guy in my book, not in that not
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: in that taste. But I do have a couple of
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: my books. One of my stories.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 3: There's about a white guy giving like, uh chocolate byzan,
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: Like is it a whole stories?
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 4: There are sex stories, but they're mine. They're not made up,
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 4: They're not fictional. These are my arts or either.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: Mabe. Now you said zame bitch, I'm.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 4: Saying like, it's not a fictional character. These me and
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 4: on every page, so all the experience is me. Oh,
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 4: I love this one.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: I just like am jumping into something to moan to
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: move to masturbate manifest about to read that to your.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: Moan to move to masturbate to Manifest. We just talked
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: about that.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 3: Okay, And so where can our listeners get a taste
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: of Touch?
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 4: You can go to shape primus dot com and get
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 4: a touch. You can get touched my book Touch Stories
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 4: of Pleasure, Power and Awakening. This is just a gift
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 4: I'm giving to people who pre order, but you can
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 4: go to We all.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: Know how important pre ordering is, but pre orders is huge.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 4: Yes, my book doesn't come out to October, so I'm
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 4: doing a whole.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: All the quarters. Babe, we was promoting this month. Did
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: you like that? I really do.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: People should be giving out tangible things for pre orders
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: more often.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: I do like this I do like this because it's
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 3: gonna very smart mind you. I don't need the cookie,
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 3: but sometimes to even see uh. This is an example
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 3: of chapter one eleven twenty eight.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: So there's a lot more than just this. Oh there's
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: panties on the cookie. Yeah, it's my panty. I love it.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 4: One of my lovers shot my book, my book cover too.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 4: He came over to my house and shot it.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: So want to, he said, I don't need you to,
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 3: but I need you to take some pictures.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: Shade.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 3: They do that so you can get the book. Touch
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 3: shape primis dot com. Where can they follow you?
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 4: They can follow me at shape Primus Matchmaker on Instagram
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 4: if you're interested in my services.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 5: That's a echline matchmaking doctor.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: Clearly, men and women, you could slide in the dams.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 3: You godmn, I'm about a little. I'm about to see
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 3: which one was your love. I need the t bitch.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: You need to show me the wife and the husband.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, no you okay? Yeah, oh yeah, I'll siss up.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: Let me see if and if you guys can. As
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: you know, our paperback version of No hose Bard is
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 3: now available for purchase. It'll come straight to you wherever
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 3: you get your book, so make sure you get no
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 3: Hols Barre to do a manifesto sexual exploration and.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: Power, and remember single is always better than lying.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 3: Sheeting d L Nasty lip dicked Lion. Thank you guys
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 3: so much for tuning in to another episode of Decisions,
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 3: Decisions Bite