Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Two Jersey Js: A Legacy Lives On

Transcript

Two Jersey Js: A Legacy Lives On · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The following podcast contains topics of mental health and loss,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: which may be difficult to listen to. If you, or
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: anyone you know is struggling, help is available. Call nine
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: to eight eight or visit nine A eight lifeline dot Org.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Hi guys, it's Jen Fessler.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: Hey, it's Jackie Golschneider and we are two Jersey Jays.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Hi Jack, Hi, bibe.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: What's been going on?
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: I mean it's been I'm so exhausted. So is Rachel.
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: My daughter's twenty third birthday yesterday. So always it's an ordeal.
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: You would think that after maybe you know, nineteen, it
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: would stop being such a big deal, but it just doesn't.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: So we were down the shore. We packed it up,
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: We went into the city. We went to Sacks, We
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: had lunch there, it was beautiful.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: We went shopping.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: We decided that there was nothing at Sacks that we
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: were going to plunk our money down.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: So we ended up at Mango. Have you been there?
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Well they have Mangos all over Spain Europe.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I've been to the ones. Jeff loves them,
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: but like they just now opening Garden State whatever. So
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: we ended up there and then it was like we
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: didn't even shop for Rachel, which I appreciate it. We
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: ended up shopping for my son, who doesn't ever shop,
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: and that was just exhausting. I like, just would rather
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: order now online. I know, I have to say bike
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: shopping is.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: I actually have to take my kids shopping this afternoon
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: because they're going to do Like we're in the they
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: just finished their sophomore year of high school, my older ones,
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: so they're in the building your resume now for college
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: phase and they're doing this great program at Duke.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: For two weeks.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: But we just got the packing list and they have
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: to wear like a suit for presentations, and they don't
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: have a suit but the bottom. That's so we're going
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: to We're going to suit shopping. I was going to say,
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: go straight to men's warehouse.
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's actually a place in Paramus that that we
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: go to Salaretta or one of those No, not a
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: fancy one. It's like they it's just they have so
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: many suits. But anyway, so last night I had two
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: that graduated middle school, which is very bittersweet for me.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: Next year I'll have all four at the same high
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: school for two years. So I said to Evan, I
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: you know, next year, I guess they'll just drive with
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: their older brothers to school and I won't have to
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: take them to school anymore. And he was like, oh,
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: that's awesome, that's the best. And I said, no, it's
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: not awesome. Like I feel a little sad about it.
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: You know, tomorrow's the.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: Last day that I'll be driving my kids to school,
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: and I'm sure there'll be one offs. But I think
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: it's a difference in the way that like, I don't
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: want to generalize, but like moms and dads think about
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: this kind of stuff, Like Evan's like, this is great,
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: you're getting your freedom back, you're getting your morning's back.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: But I think it's I don't know, it's sad. At
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: this mom, I was like, whooo, I had none of that.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Oh really no, No, I got absolutely not.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: I was like, and especially when they got there, all
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: had their drive when Rachel all, I mean I only
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: have two. But when Rachel got a driver's license, because
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: Zach at that point was gone a year into college,
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: I was like, yay, I am so bye bye kiss
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: and drop see yah.
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And by the way, this whole college process, like.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: This is not how we did it.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: When we were kids, like I played much advice for
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: you on that but for this podcast. But all of
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: this nonsense that you have to jump through free conces
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: just to get in anywhere.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: I wasted so much money. I cannot even tell you
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: on that whole process. And I would do it differently.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: Today than Oh I have to talk off camera the
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: college counselors and the act tutors. And I remember Zach
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Got he was always a great test taker. I don't
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: know how he didn't inherit that from me, but he
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: got like a really good score, like on his Aspire,
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: which is like the pre Act.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: It was like, you're range is thirty one to thirty three.
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: And I still paid so much money for tutoring and
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: he ended up with like a thirty two. It was
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: so ridiculous, so much stuff that I feel like I
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: just wasted money on.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: But I know tutoring. I should have gone into tutoring.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: Forget being a lawyer. Should have been a tutor. It
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: may makes so much money. Agreed, it's amazing. Can I
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: ask you today's guest is a personal friend of yours?
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: It correct?
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: She is? She is okay, so why don't you tell
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: us about her? Let's introduce her, because wow, what a story.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: But I'm not clear on how you actually how you
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: guys know each other.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: Well, okay, so we actually share a best friend and
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: we are dear friends. Now we've been dear friends for
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: years and years we've been away together. But I met
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: Brady originally through my friend Helene, and they went to
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: college together. They went to Ithaca together and they were
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: just the best of friends freshman year on. Still are
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: with their friend Becca. But so I got to know
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: Brady because we all went away for Helene turned forty
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: and she took a bunch of us away. We went
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: to this place in Jamaica called Aminoka, and we all
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: just bonded. It was this fabulous experience. Her name is
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: Brady Harrison and so and then just through the years
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: we've just been you know, friends since and anyway, so
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: I guess back around five years ago. It was twenty
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: twenty July of twenty twenty, I got a call from
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: another friend there's a bunch of us that are very
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: close saying that she heard that Brady's son, his name
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: was Jack, had died overnight. And it was don't even
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: know what she was talking about. My cousin Cindy, who's
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: also very close to Helene, and I couldn't even understand
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: what she was saying. And this kid, Jack is the
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: same age as my son, as Helene's son, as cindy son.
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: I mean, they've known each other forever and anyway, and
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: it's just it was so crazy because Helene didn't know
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: at that point and Cindy and I had to tell her,
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: and it was just the most And this is I'm
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: not even talking about Brady at this point. Just telling
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: Helene this about her best friend's son who had they
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: all grew up together, was so horrific and that was
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: only that was just, you know, not just but that
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: was me here in the news and then having to
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: tell Helene and in fact, Brady's beautiful, amazing, just glorious son,
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: Jack Nathan, died of a fentanyl laced percocet. So this
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: is going back five years. And Jack was also this
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: real really gifted young artists, and like so many of us,
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: he struggled with mental illness and he had created this
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: brand called Happy Jack, and he put all of his
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: just emotions and pain and he poured it into this business.
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: And I don't know, he raised money for the Child
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: Mind Institute. He just did all these amazing things, and
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: he was he would make these sweats and t shirts
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: with like these smiley faces.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: But they were they weren't smiley faces.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: They were kind of like jig jag jagged smiley faces
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: and just talking about you know, anxiety and depression and
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: things that he had been through. And after Jack passed,
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: his legacy, one of his many legacies carried on through
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: his mom, Brady, Happy Jack is amazing and still doing
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: amazing things in this world. And it's funny, like all
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: the kids when Jack passed and they lived in living
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: Ston of Short Hills, but even to all the kids
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: here in our area, my daughter, everybody followed Jack Nathan
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: because he was so dynamic and they all had Happy
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: Jack clothing. And I don't know, and this foundation has
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: continued to thrive. But you know, Brady has talks a
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: lot about what she's been through, and she is one
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: of the strongest women I've ever known, along with one
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: of the most thoughtful and just intelligent and kind and
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: beautiful and wonderful women. And her pain is indescribable and
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: she tries really hard though to you know, share her story,
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: especially with what's going on in this world with fentanyl.
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: So she's I'm gonna We're gonna bring her in and
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: she's going to tell you more. And I know she's
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: going to touch all of you. This story is impossible
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: and heartbreaking. But she uses her pain. You know, she's
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: a warrior and she uses her pain for good. So
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: she's just so hard for you to meet her.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Horrifying.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: It's so scary to think that, you know, it's like
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: the littlest drop of fentanyl can kill you. And with
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: four teenagers, I worry just constantly.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: Yes, you know, I trust my kids, but no, no, no,
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: it's not even it's so Jackie, we all, I don't
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: trust the world.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: Freaked out. No, there's they're not.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: It is what's happened with this fentanyl crisis in this country.
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: And Brady's going to tell you more. Is is so
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: scary and horrifying. But so anyway, you guys, I just
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: I do want to say though, that Brady is a
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: lot of things. She's Jack's mom, and she's also the
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: mother of a beautiful, uh young woman named Drew, and
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: she was always just just creative and really smart and
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: really fun and has her own strugg with mental illness
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: that I'm sure she'll share as do I, as do
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: so many of us. But she's been through it and
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to speak on her behalf anymore. I
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: just I want to bring her in and I think
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: that you guys are going to be so overwhelmingly touched
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: by her story. So, without further ado, here is my
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: very dear friend, Brady Harrison.
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: Thank you, my love.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: We want to just take us back. You know you're
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: asked to do that constantly. Maybe it's I don't know,
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: you tell me. I don't know what it is, cathartic
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: in some way, but I know you're always asked to
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: take take us back to that day.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I hate even asking, well.
• 10:40
  Speaker 5: You know why, because it goes back even further. To
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: be able to clearly articulate what happened that day, you
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: have to know who my son was and what his
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: struggles were. So my son, Jack Nathan struggle with both
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: anxiety and depression, but he was very forthcoming about how
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: he felt, like, completely transparent. He sort of wore like
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: a badge of honor, which is very unusual for kids
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: who are nineteen. Had a huge social circle, you know,
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: never without a friend in sight, so that certainly wasn't
• 11:17
  Speaker 5: the The issue was internally, right. He struggled internally, and
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: as a mother, all you want to do is make
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: your kid happy. I would have done anything. He was
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: in therapy, we were trying medication. I had flown to
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: University of Denver to try and help him. Fast forward,
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: he says to me, one day, you know what, Mom,
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: If I can help just one person not feel the
• 11:39
  Speaker 5: way I do, it'll be worth it. And what he
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: meant was he wanted to start a company called Happy Jack,
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: which is a nickname some casting agent gave him when
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: he modeled when he was a baby, and he came
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: up with the idea that he would parlay his love
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: of art and painting into a business, that he would
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: sell this art on apparel or canvases to raise money
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: for kids who struggled like he did. So he launched
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: Happy Jack World on June seventh of twenty twenty, and
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: he sent a text to everyone in his contact lists,
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: Jack Nathan, if you're getting this right now, You've been
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: part of my journey with my struggle with mental illness.
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: A portion of every purchase will go towards the Childmind Institute.
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: Now at this time, I didn't even know what the
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: Childmine Institute was. Within the first week of sales, Jack
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: donated one thousand dollars, which I only found out about
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: because he posted it on Instagram. Fast forward that was
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: June seventh. Fast forward July third. He like second. He
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: tells me he is going to a party in Marlborough,
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: New Jersey. If my son and I were extremely close,
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: like beyond, we told one another, we loved each other
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: about ten times a day, He's going to this party.
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: Of course, I say, I love you. He says, I
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: love you. I say, be safe and he left. He
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: texted me at eleven forty nine that night and he said, Mom,
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: I'm going to stay here, really not safe to drive home.
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: And by that I just took it as like it's
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: late and it's an arrow away and he's not going
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: to drive. I didn't really think anything of it, and
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: I said, I love you more than life. He wrote,
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: I love you more than life. Not unusual texts, and
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: the next morning I heard nothing. I texted him and
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: I called him. I texted his best friend and nothing.
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: I didn't. It was like one o'clock. I didn't hadn't
• 13:51
  Speaker 5: heard from him. I figured he was sleeping at his
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: phone off. And then the next phone call I got
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: was from Jack's father, and it was a phone call
• 14:07
  Speaker 5: that no parent on this planet would care to receive.
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: And he just just said he didn't wake up, and
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: you know, you're in complete disbelieve. I fell to my
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: knees screaming. It was crazy. I mean, I'm shaking like
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: just telling you guys this story. But we came to
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: find out later after we got the autopsy results, was
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: that Jack had taken at some point after he texted
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: me at eleven forty nine, which I thought was just
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: how do you have such a you know, articulate conversation
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: with your mom? And began some time after that he
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: had ventanyl in his system, and if you know anything
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: about ventanyl, it is fifty times stronger than morphine heroin
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: or a hundred times stronger than morphine. I think fifty
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: times stronger than heroin. And he basically he took what
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: I later found out a percocet, and that what he
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: thought was a percoset had ventanyl in it. And all
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: it takes is two milligrams a ventanyl to stop your heart,
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: especially for someone who has zero tolerance for it. And
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: when I say to two milligrams, we're talking literally grains
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: of sand. Like if you took a salt shaker and
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: you put it in the palm of your hand, it
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: fits on the tip of a pencil. That's how lethal
• 15:56
  Speaker 5: it is. And it's not myself heart. And he never
• 16:00
  Speaker 5: woke up. And at the time I really didn't know
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: what fentanyl was. You're talking. It was twenty twenty, right,
• 16:09
  Speaker 5: so I had heard of it, but it's nowhere near
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: the epidemic that it is today, or at least people
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: didn't speak about it now. It's like you can't swing
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: about without someone knowing someone, right. So for two years
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: I didn't mention how Jack had passed because I wanted
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: him to be remembered for who he was rather than
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: how he left us. And he was a mental health advocate,
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: and that's who he was at his heart. He wanted
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: kids his age to live freely. I'm proud and I'm
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: apologetically and I admired him for that. He was completely transparent,
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: and he taught me how to be transparent. And after
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: two years, I said, I can't just watch all these
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: kids disappear. And I felt like I had a sense
• 17:04
  Speaker 5: of responsibility to share my story, to warn other parents,
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: to warn other kids. My son looks no different than
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: every other kid.
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: I mean, well, he did a little bit bray because
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: he was so gorgeous.
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: This is Jack and this is my dog actually, who
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: passed away a year later, but like he was the
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: most delicious.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Beyond I'm telling you he had like a cult following.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: I only know that.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: I'm not just saying that, Brady, like you know that,
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: like my daughter who didn't know him, knew who he
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: was because he was number one. Sorry, he was just
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: he looks he looks exactly like you, one face, but
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: absolutely gorgeous.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: But he had this.
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: Charisma that I didn't know him well, so I knew
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: you know about him through you, But he was just
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: like this, this this beacon of light. And I'm not
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: just saying it. It's I just remember what Rachel was like.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: What that kid?
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: He was just so magnic.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: Lady, When did he start struggling with mental illness? How
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: old was he?
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: Looking back? I think that's an excellent question. Looking back,
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: I would say probably maybe like freshman year ish. I
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: started noticing and I picture what he was wearing. He
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: sat on my kitchen counter. He's wearing timberlains and like
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: a button down and he just looked at me and
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: he's like, I'm not happy. Now. Like, as a parent,
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: you're like, what could you possibly be unhappy that? I mean,
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: he had an abundance of friends, good looking, twelve, a
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: huge circle of those who loved him. I couldn't. It
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: didn't make any sense to me. So what I came
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: to realize is that when you struggle and when you're
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: not happy, it has to do with everything that's internal, right,
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: and nothing that's external. There's nothing that you're going to
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: be able to pinpoint and say like, oh, he didn't
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: get a new iPhone, that's why he's depressed. Oh his
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: girlfriend broke up with him and that's why he's depressed.
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: It doesn't work like that. It's like there's this underlying
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: sadness and you can't often articulate why you're sad because
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: it's it's an imbalance, it's chemical, there's no outside You know,
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: situations can make it worse, but generally they're not the
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: root cause of why my son wasn't happy. So I
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: sort of brushed it off, like, yeah, and my ex
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: husband and I got divorced, and my son got worse,
• 19:55
  Speaker 5: and he went to college and got worse. The anxiety
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: got worse, and when he came home, he had to
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: come home because of COVID, which does not mix well
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: with anyone who struggles. I mean, you put someone who's
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: already anxious and depressed in to a home and tell
• 20:13
  Speaker 5: them not to leave. I mean, how would anyone fair? So?
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: I mean I I it was horrific. It was not
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: good for him, not good for him. I was completely isolating,
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: he was overwhelmed with schoolwork, and that's when he sort
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: of got it together to Laurn Chappy Jack. But you know,
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: you look, Jackie, I go back all the time, right
• 20:38
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, what could I have done differently? You
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: know what? You know? Could I have saved him? Could
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: I have parented differently? What if I said something in
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: the kitchen that day that you know, changed the trajectory
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: of his life? You do that, and I think it's
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: just natural for any parent to go backwards and question
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: everything and anything to make sense of it. But because
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: it's so senseless, it's just so senseless, don't you.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: Do you feel like it's I think his his legacy
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: and what he did when he was live, and just
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: my own mind is so separate from the way that
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: he died. I mean, he was my he was murdered,
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean? Like, it's not like I
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: done to stop a criminals and fentonl from coming into
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: you know, this country in a pill.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: I don't. I don't What would you have said to
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: him that could have stopped that?
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: Nothing thing?
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: You now?
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: My friend said to me, it was like equivalents like Brady,
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: It's like he got hit by a bus.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Is it a pill that was given to him
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: by other kids at the party or did he have
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: it with him?
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: I don't know, you don't know.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: It doesn't matter. I'm just wondering if anyone else there
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: I had ingested anything.
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: I don't know. Okay, it was a twenty first birthday party.
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: I don't know. I don't know, and I wouldn't change
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: the outcomes, So I don't think i'd let myself go
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: through all of that.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Good after everything, when you decided to continue his legacy
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: of being a mental health advocate and telling his story,
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: how did it is that what happy Jack is now?
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: You kept it going?
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: Yes? Absolutely, you know, like I said, I feel a
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: sense of responsibility, and of course it's very personal and
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: emotional to me, and I don't want to let his
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: business go because I guess if I'm being completely transparent,
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: it's like me letting him go. But it's hard because
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: he's not here, and he's not here to tell me
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: what to do, you know what designed to put out
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: and he left behind all these like amazing designs and
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: this like amazing logo of this like crooked smile because
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: he was like, it's impossible to be completely happy all
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: the time. But I wish he was here to tell
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: me what to do, because it's it's really hard running
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: your son's business when he is no longer here. You know,
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: typically the child falls into the parents' footsteps and is
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: mentored that way. It's doesn't not supposed to work this way.
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: Right, So what is the charity? How has the charity
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: been doing, and how has it helped people? And what
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: do you do on a daily basis?
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: So I, on my ends worked to maintain, maintain, just
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: like the inner workings of this site and the business
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: end of it. We launched the Happy Jack Foundation a
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: couple of years after he passed because we wanted to
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: be able to donate more than just taking a portion
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: of our sales. So we set up a program with
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: University of Denver, which is where Jack went to college,
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: and we have a program which we've been doing for
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: the past five years where any student in the arts
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: can apply for this scholarship in which they are given
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: X amount of money to create some sort of form
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: of mental health project. But it could be at any
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: scope in the arts, ballet, sculpture, painting, video gaming. It
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: just has to center around mental health. And we've been
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: able to give that to some of the students and
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: watch their projects, which has been, you know, like this
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: tangible thing that we've been able to say. But we've
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: donated ourselves to the Childmind Institute Active Minds. We've worked
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: with some of the most incredible people. I always say like,
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: I'm the luckiest unlucky person I know. We've had I
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: mean with that billboards every year in Times Square donated
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: to us in the mission of raising fentanyl awareness. And
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: I've met so many families who are part of this
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: club that know none of us want to be a part.
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: Of but I've met We're doing Jack, We're doing am
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: We're having an event in August about Pensanyl about, you know,
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: raising money for ferensonal awareness. And so Brady's already introduced
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: me to Charlie and his father. Charlie's Charlie passed very
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: similar to the way that Jack passed and around the
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: same time, right Bray, Yeah, yeah, So he was.
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: A couple of years older than Jack, but similar situation.
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: And he started this fund called Song for Charlie. But
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: they are exclusively sentonal education, functional effects, changing the landscape
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: within the government. He's They're incredible this Ed and Mary
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: are the parents, and it's you know, I think what's
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: important to note is that they created Song for Charlie
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: after their son passed. I didn't create Happy Jack. You know,
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: Jack created Happy Jack. And this is my son's legacy
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: that he built. So I am just sort of taking
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: over the reins for him. But I will not take
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: credit for ever for my son's work, for you know,
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: his concept, his drive to help other kids like him
• 26:46
  Speaker 5: who struggled.
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: Is it hard bratty because some people might say, Okay,
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: so there's crossover, right, I don't know there's is their
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: crossover between mental health, I don't be infentanyl awareness. They're
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: two separate things, right, it's.
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: Yes and no, because I look, those who struggle have
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: a higher propensity to try stuff.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: I make themselves feel better.
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but it could be the kid who you know,
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: goes to any one of these schools and says like,
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: oh my god, I have a test and I want
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: to cram, and someone gives them an.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Adderall all right, And that's what I mean, right.
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: Because adderall is lace. Percocet is lace, xenax is lace,
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: Cocaine is laced. I mean, you name it now, weed
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: is lace, the vapes are laced.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: So just so for people who have no idea, and
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: I also don't know so much of this. How does
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: something get laced with ventanol?
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: So the precursors, which are the chemicals that are made
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: from thetonyl, are starting in China, and the Chinese are
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: also the ones who are responsible for creating the pill
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: press machines, so basically they press the pills to look
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: like any other pill that you would get from your doctor.
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: So the chemicals and this is the I'm just giving
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: you the generic root. Yes, it might come from other means,
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: but this is what you know sort of the normal.
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: This is what the path is. So the precursors are made,
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: they're shipped to Mexico. Mexico has all the cartels and
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: the labs and so forth, and then they are coming
• 28:25
  Speaker 5: across the border. The reason why they are using fentanyl
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: to mix into these pills, or even use fentanyl period
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: is because it's stronger than anything out there. You do
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: not need as much of it to make a pill
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: or to enhance a pill. It's a synthetic, so you
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: can make it yourself. You're not waiting for like the
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: you know, plants to grow in the fields in order
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: to create opium. It just doesn't work that way. So
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: it truly what it comes down to is greed. They
• 28:57
  Speaker 5: can manufacture more because it's cheaper, it's stronger, they can
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: get it onto the streets faster, and the margins are insane.
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: So their hope is to create addicts.
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: How do you get bray I was gonna I've been
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: thinking about this a long time. It doesn't the only
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: part that doesn't add up is that it's so lethal,
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: right that the makers of it, you know, are losing.
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: They're trying you're trying to create an addict in terms
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: of right, if you're not trying to, you know, kill
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: your source, and it seems to be phentanol is so deadly.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: I don't even know.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, is there an amount that you got in that
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: doesn't kill you?
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: It?
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: Two milligrams is a lethal dose. And I told you
• 29:41
  Speaker 5: that it's like like grains of sand if you have
• 29:45
  Speaker 5: some sort of tolerance. I suppose two milligrams is not
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: going to do the trick in order to just stop
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: your life. My son and all of these kids, they're
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: they're not what you envision to be. Perhaps someone in
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: the streets, someone in drug rehabs. There kids who may
• 30:07
  Speaker 5: try something for the first time, that may take a
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: Mali at a party. You know, they're these are kids
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: who are you know, athletes and academics and successful. And
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: it blows away every stereotype that people might have of
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: those who are passing from fetanol or from drugs period.
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: So the manufacturers of the product, they don't care if
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: they have some casualties along the way, They'll just make more.
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: They just they don't care.
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: You think about the fact that these kids are the brains,
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: especially boys, right, they're not developed until what they're twenty
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: six years old. Boys' brains. You're sending out your kid
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: into the world at age eighteen nineteen, and of course
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: I would have taken something in college.
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: You passed me a p we write, Jen, you thought
• 31:01
  Speaker 5: you were invincible.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, one hundred percent. I remember taking what
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: is that one? Not molly?
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Ecstasy? Remember ecstasy?
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: That was big when I was in college, and yeah,
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: everybody was doing I don't even know what it is.
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: They called it ecstasy then in Texas. But it was
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: like funny, you know who's at that age? You're not
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: thinking about shit, You're thinking, no tonight, there is no
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: rap party.
• 31:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: So how does a parent talk to their kid to
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: try to stop this? I mean, telling them not to
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: ever try anything? Is that realistic?
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: What do you do?
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: Probably not? I don't think that if I I mean,
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: of course I taught Jack don't do drugs, right, I
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: mean my kids smoke weed, which I didn't have an
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: issue with some parents do, but I was like, yeah,
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: but it's in MYSS, it's described to you and for
• 32:02
  Speaker 5: you, you really can't. There's no such thing as recreational drugs anymore.
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: It just doesn't exist the same way like Jen was saying,
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: it just doesn't exist. So they have something called fentanyl
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: test strips. Basically, you have to take the pill and
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: crush it and dilute it in water, and then you
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: take it's like a dipstick. You dip, you dip the
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: stick in and if it comes out like a pregnancy
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: test two lions, one lion, it's either negative or positive.
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: There can be false positive false negatives, but they're pretty
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: accurate fentanyl test strips. You can buy them anywhere. You
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: can buy them on Amazon. The only my biggest hesitation
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: lies in the fact that you can take one pill
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: right jack, and like I could split it in half.
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: You can take half, and I can take half, and
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: I don't wake up in the morning, but you do.
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: It's because the fentanyl is not evenly distributed in the pill.
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: It might have just been stuck in my half, but
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: you're fine. So unless you dilute the entire substance, you
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: will not know truly whether.
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: What kind of these what kid is has the wherewithal
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: to say, I'm gonna go into the bathroom for I mean,
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: they're dipsticks, like they're like, these kids are not maybe
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: not all of them. I think that there are, you know,
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: and we're all we all try with our kids, and
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: but that's the part that is, so my kids are
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: they're older now, maybe they're still stupid.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: I don't even I don't know.
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: But they do give out fentanyl test strips and a
• 33:35
  Speaker 5: lot of the fraternities and the sororities, so today they're
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: much more aware, really. And there's also something called narcan
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: which reverses the effects of an overdose, which is a
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: spray that you put up each nostril, but you have
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: to have someone with you. A lot of these kids
• 33:52
  Speaker 5: who take something are by themselves, so that narkhan doesn't apply.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: And so narcam works for fentanyl. Correct, And how quickly
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: do you have to you? How quickly does fentanyl take
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: effect in you?
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: It minutes?
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: Minutes?
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: Wow?
• 34:07
  Speaker 5: How horrifying?
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: Is there a world? So I don't know too much about.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: I know obviously ventinels in the news, But is there
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: a world in which fentanyl is completely wiped out from
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: the drug supply.
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: I don't think so. I don't see it happening. It's
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: too easy to make and there's too much money to
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: be made. I think that's about in line. As long
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: as there's money to be had, people just don't give
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: a shit about human life, you know.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: Brad I have been close for a while and I
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: just always I said to you last week, Bra, like
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: I feel like sometimes I just say the wrong thing,
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: and of course it's all well intentioned. But we talked
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: about it about one of your other best friends who's like,
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: you know, I want to say to you. I wouldn't
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: say that now, but maybe when it first happened, you know,
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: time time, time, time. I mean, I don't know if
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: time is helping or I obviously I follow you and everything,
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: but I follow you on TikTok, and you're so open
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: and you have so many experiences every day dealing with
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: this grief that just doesn't quit, you know, and.
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: Think for me, And I've said this just recently, like
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: it feels like it just happened, Like it feels like
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: it just happened yesterday. I wake up every morning and
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: I go through like the litany of things that I
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: did that day or before or Jack's life, and so
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: I feel like I'm like treading water, standing still. But
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: everybody else is moving on as they should, because the
• 35:37
  Speaker 5: world keeps spinning. But it's hard for me as the
• 35:41
  Speaker 5: kids move further away from my son's passing, and my
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: friends even move further away from Jack's passing, and I
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: sort of like still here, and it's equally as hard
• 35:52
  Speaker 5: for me. You know, I see all of these kids
• 35:56
  Speaker 5: growing up and my son doesn't get to do that.
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: And you keep in mind, my son grew up with
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: Jessee and all these kids, and I watched them, i know,
• 36:07
  Speaker 5: meeting their significant others and working going out into the world.
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: And my son was a baby. He was nineteen years old.
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: I mean, he was almost twenty, but he didn't even
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: make it to his junior year in college. It's just like,
• 36:21
  Speaker 5: you know, you just say, like, it's not fair, just
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: not fair.
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: So how do you how do you get through the days?
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: And have you gotten help for yourself mental health treatment.
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: I have a daughter who looked at me shortly after
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: and said, do not go numb on me. And I
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: will never forget that, and I have to show up
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: for her, have to. I will not disappear. I will
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: do anything to make her life easier, to make her happy,
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: so that she doesn't, you know, continue to wallow in
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: her brother's passing. And I'm very sensitive to that. So
• 37:10
  Speaker 5: you know, people like I could never, I could never.
• 37:12
  Speaker 5: I don't have a choice, you know, I have a daughter,
• 37:15
  Speaker 5: and I have a significant other who loves me. I
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: have amazing friends and amazing parents, and I'm so grateful
• 37:22
  Speaker 5: for their support. I'm not a big group mental health
• 37:27
  Speaker 5: person in terms of like sitting in a group that
• 37:29
  Speaker 5: does not work for me. It just brings me down
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: to hear about other people's pain. So I'm I do
• 37:36
  Speaker 5: one on one occasionally, but even that, I just like,
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: I don't feel like crying for forty five minutes straight,
• 37:42
  Speaker 5: Like I just don't have it in me. I'm exhausted,
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: So I sleep a lot. I sleep a lot. Yeah,
• 37:49
  Speaker 5: an medication.
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: I mean, I'm not even asking you. I just don't
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: for myself, like a right. It's like I don't know
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: if there's enough prosact.
• 37:56
  Speaker 5: In the world, of course I don't. Yeah, but it's
• 38:02
  Speaker 5: like it's like, do you ever you know that feeling
• 38:04
  Speaker 5: of like when you're present but not really present. Yes,
• 38:07
  Speaker 5: like you're there physically, but you're not there mentally. That's
• 38:12
  Speaker 5: what it feels like a lot of the time.
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: I know you get sometimes just a surprise like letter,
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: text or whatever from one of his friends. Yeah, I know,
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: how like that just now that lights you up because
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: he has an impact on so many of these kids.
• 38:28
  Speaker 5: Really, you know, it's so consistent what all of these
• 38:31
  Speaker 5: kids say about him. You know, like Jack told me
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: what was important in life. He didn't you know, give
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: a shit about anything else about and you know, it
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: was just about what he was doing and his happiness
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: and you know, forget about the nine to five, do
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: what makes you happy. And they believed in him, and
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: he believed in them. And you know, one day he
• 38:52
  Speaker 5: came up into my room and he's like, Mom, I
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: really think it's helping me to help other people. And
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: I was like, Jack, that's amazing. It's amazing. But you know,
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: at the end of the day, I couldn't take that
• 39:06
  Speaker 5: anxiety away from him. I couldn't take his relentless need
• 39:11
  Speaker 5: to do more. He's very existential, very introspective. He was
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: he called like limited drops, one of one. He was
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: one of one.
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: How do you think those parents that you've gotten to know,
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: is it similar their grief and what five years later?
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know, But I don't know. I
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: just talked to Charlie or whatever. I'm about to meet
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: Charlie's dad. But is the pattern there are similar patterns
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: in terms of how parents.
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: I will tell you that every single person grieves differently,
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: and I passes zero judgment. You know, some people immerse
• 39:50
  Speaker 5: themselves in work, some people immerse themselves in the cause.
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: Some people just becomes stagnant and can't leave their heal.
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: You know, I didn't. I don't think I left my
• 40:03
  Speaker 5: house for six months. I look. I moved out of
• 40:06
  Speaker 5: New Jersey to Florida because it hurt me so bad
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: to see all of these people that I had to
• 40:14
  Speaker 5: like sort of face what happened. And every time I
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: saw everyone, They're like, oh my god, what's the matter.
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: And it just like brings you back. And I every
• 40:22
  Speaker 5: baseball field, every soccer field, every pizza place he worked at.
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: It's really painful, incredibly hard. And I go back obviously
• 40:32
  Speaker 5: because all my friends are there and my daughter lives
• 40:35
  Speaker 5: with her father primarily, but it's it's hard for me.
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: It's really hard, and I don't I guess I feel
• 40:47
  Speaker 5: like sometimes people forget how hard it is.
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, nobody knows how So few people that we know
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: understand how hard it is. Yeah, we imagine it.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: You know, what would you like to see happy Jack
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: going forward?
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: And I would love it to flourish. I would. Jack
• 41:11
  Speaker 5: launched the site in the first sight, and he was
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: disappointed because he wanted it to the site to crash
• 41:15
  Speaker 5: because so many people are on it. You know, I'd
• 41:18
  Speaker 5: love for it to be self sustaining. I'd love for
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: me to be able to help kids more than I
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: already do. I'm happy to speak to anyone and everyone
• 41:30
  Speaker 5: to let them know that, you know, Jack is you Jack,
• 41:36
  Speaker 5: You're no different than my son, and this is the
• 41:39
  Speaker 5: reality of the situation. And you know, I had one
• 41:42
  Speaker 5: of his friends say to me afterwards, I could have
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: been any one of us.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: It could have and.
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so what would I like to see happen? Ultimately,
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: the reason why I speak is because I want to
• 41:55
  Speaker 5: save lives. I don't I don't want any parent to
• 42:00
  Speaker 5: who experience this pain. It's horrific, you know, I want
• 42:04
  Speaker 5: to you know, I'm going to break. I'm exhausted. It's
• 42:10
  Speaker 5: really exhausting to live with the pain of it. And
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: I don't wish that upon anyone. So if happy Jack,
• 42:19
  Speaker 5: and if my son's legacy could prevent a family from
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: coming down this path, and I'm going to keep launching
• 42:31
  Speaker 5: product and raising money and creating awareness.
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: Bray, what do you say to people who ask you
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: what to say to their kids? And again, I mean,
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: I know it's about two issues here, right, they're spent
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: it all and there's mental illness. But you know parents
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: that are sending their kids to college, and I don't
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: know if there is anything to completely prevent this from happening.
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: But is there are there things that you're tell you
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: that the.
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: I mean that it's I will say, And there's there's
• 43:08
  Speaker 5: different stats on this. So right now, I had heard
• 43:12
  Speaker 5: from the DEA that it's seven out of ten pills
• 43:15
  Speaker 5: are at least right or have a lethal amount. So
• 43:20
  Speaker 5: if you literally say to your child, if someone's giving
• 43:23
  Speaker 5: you an adderall to stay off and you don't know
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: where that adderall has been, look at yourself in the
• 43:28
  Speaker 5: mirror and say, I have a seventy percent chance of
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: not waking up in the morning, would you take that pill?
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: I mean, that's the reality of it, even if it's
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: one and six or what I mean, the statistics are
• 43:46
  Speaker 5: so high, the probability is so high that it's almost
• 43:51
  Speaker 5: like you'd have to be really unintelligent not to have
• 43:55
  Speaker 5: that meaning.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Because they are kids are stupid.
• 43:58
  Speaker 5: That's that's my son was one of them. I'm not
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: gonna lie. Look, my son didn't know any better. But
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: he lived fearless. He fearlessly, he was He would have
• 44:08
  Speaker 5: done anything, jump off a cliff, jump, dive into a
• 44:11
  Speaker 5: pool from a roof. I mean that's how he lived.
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: I don't think he would have lived any differently, but
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: I could. I can't guarantee your child's not going to
• 44:19
  Speaker 5: but I could try. I would also say, you know what,
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: if your kid's going to school and they're having such
• 44:26
  Speaker 5: extreme mental health struggles, pull them at a school, Like
• 44:30
  Speaker 5: not every kid is going to take the same path
• 44:32
  Speaker 5: in life. Right in our heads we say like, Okay,
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: they're gonna go to college, they're gonna get a job,
• 44:37
  Speaker 5: they're going to live in the city, they're gonna But
• 44:39
  Speaker 5: it doesn't work that way. So I don't know, maybe
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: I should have pulled Jack at a school when he wasn't.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Your story should have like, I know.
• 44:49
  Speaker 5: I know, I can see it.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: I'm like, it's like, it's like you're telling the story.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: What do you think that?
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: Like both my kids, Rachel had a great time just
• 45:01
  Speaker 4: three years her senior year, she was unhappy. Whatever that
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: looks like unhappy? My son was unhappy at times in college.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: He for a year.
• 45:11
  Speaker 4: This was a bad I mean, I don't know. It's
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: a hard thing to figure out, right, I mean.
• 45:15
  Speaker 5: It just and it's like once you put yourself out
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: there like I do on TikTok, I have like seventy
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: thousand followers, so like there are people who are like
• 45:24
  Speaker 5: who blame me? And I have to I have to
• 45:28
  Speaker 5: roll with that because if there's going to be people
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: like that, and I have to tune all of that
• 45:36
  Speaker 5: noise out in order to you guys know, with social media,
• 45:40
  Speaker 5: you have to tune all of that noise out.
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: Locked, de lea, blocked, deleap any Can it be in
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: something you smoke? Is it only in pill form something
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: that gets cut?
• 45:49
  Speaker 5: I mean lately i've here I'm hearing that it's also
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: in marijuana. There is. There are so many dispensaries out there,
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: but they're not all licensed dispensaries. So you really have
• 46:00
  Speaker 5: to know if a dispensary is licensed or not. Like
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: I'll even say to my daughter who's almost twenty two, like,
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: if you're gonna smoke, it has to come from a
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: licensed dispensary. You have to know. You can't say like, oh,
• 46:13
  Speaker 5: my friend got it from a friend. They're okay, they know,
• 46:16
  Speaker 5: like no, yeah, no, Like like I look at mac Miller.
• 46:21
  Speaker 5: My son idolizes mac Miller. Yeah, you think he's a celebrity.
• 46:25
  Speaker 5: He has all this money, He would only get clean shit.
• 46:27
  Speaker 5: He died the same way. It just doesn't work that way.
• 46:31
  Speaker 5: Fentanyl doesn't care how much money you have, who the
• 46:33
  Speaker 5: hell you are, if you're a celebrity, if you're not,
• 46:35
  Speaker 5: it just there's it doesn't matter.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: And in this country, do you know how many people
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: a year are affected by this?
• 46:45
  Speaker 5: I mean they say, like a clane full of people
• 46:48
  Speaker 5: a day.
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: What, oh my god? And is the government doing things?
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: Are you involved?
• 46:56
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah? I mean look at look there are people
• 46:59
  Speaker 5: who pro truy anti Trump. But at least he's trying, right,
• 47:05
  Speaker 5: at least he's trying. You, we're gonna put enough tariffs
• 47:07
  Speaker 5: on China, maybe they'll it'll affect change in the supply
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: and demand. You're gonna close the borders, maybe it'll prevent
• 47:19
  Speaker 5: substances from coming through. I do feel like he's trying.
• 47:24
  Speaker 5: You know, people are like as long as they're that,
• 47:27
  Speaker 5: you know, supply and demand, As long as there's demand
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: they'll always be supply. But it doesn't mean that we
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: can't try.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: You have to try. There's no what else I mean.
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: You know, So I I'm okay with Trump for those
• 47:40
  Speaker 5: reasons alone.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: Ray, how's Drew your daughter?
• 47:46
  Speaker 5: Sherew's my daughter, She's my reason for being. I love her.
• 47:54
  Speaker 5: She's my happy place. My daughter and I actually have
• 47:58
  Speaker 5: been like approached by other kids saying like, how do
• 48:00
  Speaker 5: I help my parent? And you know, I say to them, like,
• 48:05
  Speaker 5: you will always, you will forever be your parents' happy place,
• 48:09
  Speaker 5: like she just will. And I she's doing good.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: She's she's doing I know she's doing good.
• 48:15
  Speaker 5: She's got a job, she is a huge personality. She
• 48:19
  Speaker 5: has also has a lot of friends. I encourage her
• 48:23
  Speaker 5: to go to therapy again. She's twenty two. She'll do
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: with it what she will. But I love my kids unconditionally,
• 48:33
  Speaker 5: and I love the same way Jack did. I love.
• 48:36
  Speaker 5: When I love, I love, And if she needs me,
• 48:40
  Speaker 5: I go to her and and I told her no
• 48:44
  Speaker 5: matter where I am, I will always find her. And
• 48:46
  Speaker 5: she knows that. She knows that.
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: So I'm in all of you. I'm so sorry for
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: your pain. I can't imagine, but your strength is unbelievable.
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 49:04
  Speaker 4: By the way, guys, I mean all of us. I
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: think it's helpful just to hear about the mental health thing.
• 49:10
  Speaker 4: It's so it's not just kids, right, it's us. I mean,
• 49:14
  Speaker 4: it's me. When I was a kid, it was it
• 49:17
  Speaker 4: took a different form, but then I didn't get the
• 49:21
  Speaker 4: help for it that I needed. Back in the day,
• 49:23
  Speaker 4: when I was in college, i had crazy. It was
• 49:26
  Speaker 4: more it's all in the same umbrella, but it was
• 49:28
  Speaker 4: more anxiety than it was depression, debilitating anxiety. And I mean,
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: I've been through so many different therapists until I you know,
• 49:39
  Speaker 4: this my current one that I've been with for years
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: and years. I didn't meet her until I was until
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: my kids were twelve, and you know, my daughter has
• 49:48
  Speaker 4: just been diagnosed with diabetes. Anyway, the point is that
• 49:50
  Speaker 4: like there there are things. There are so many things.
• 49:54
  Speaker 4: And I'm a big medication fan when it comes to
• 49:57
  Speaker 4: mental illness.
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, and Bray, you and I have spoken about this.
• 50:00
  Speaker 4: I mean, you've had your own, you know, dealings before Jack, right,
• 50:05
  Speaker 4: with mental illness. I mean, it's bitch, but I feel
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: like there's I used to be very very very aware
• 50:13
  Speaker 4: of it. I guess, especially when it comes to your kids,
• 50:15
  Speaker 4: because there are there are answers, right, there's the.
• 50:18
  Speaker 5: There's Anne's Look, genetics come into play, right, if you
• 50:23
  Speaker 5: have mental health illness in your family, there's a higher
• 50:28
  Speaker 5: chance that it'll you know, trickle down the bloodline. And
• 50:32
  Speaker 5: you know, I certainly do I think about you know,
• 50:38
  Speaker 5: my daughter has children. I mean I hope that their
• 50:41
  Speaker 5: mental health is okay. And I I used to you know, look,
• 50:48
  Speaker 5: there was such a stigma against kids taking medication back
• 50:52
  Speaker 5: in the day, and I didn't want my kid to
• 50:54
  Speaker 5: take medication. Do you remember, like in the sleepway camps,
• 50:56
  Speaker 5: you're like, oh, well they the kids would be like
• 50:59
  Speaker 5: they leave to go get a ill or they go
• 51:01
  Speaker 5: to mind.
• 51:01
  Speaker 4: Well, my kids will leave do a good growth hormoney
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: and insulin.
• 51:05
  Speaker 5: They go to them. They're lining up like nobody right,
• 51:12
  Speaker 5: this stigma is gone, and you know they say, like,
• 51:16
  Speaker 5: if you were physically ill, you would take medication. So
• 51:22
  Speaker 5: if you're emotionally not well, and it's not just like
• 51:26
  Speaker 5: I'm sad, I'm going to take a pill, it's that
• 51:28
  Speaker 5: underlying sadness that I told you that you can't look.
• 51:33
  Speaker 5: I remember my mother looking at me and saying like,
• 51:35
  Speaker 5: what is it? Why are you so unhappy? Like what
• 51:38
  Speaker 5: did you this? Did do that? And she did what
• 51:41
  Speaker 5: I did, Like you try and find the thing, because
• 51:44
  Speaker 5: as a parent, all you want to do is fix
• 51:46
  Speaker 5: the problem, and you cannot. You can't fix it. I tried,
• 51:51
  Speaker 5: My mother tried, like but when I went on medication
• 51:55
  Speaker 5: and found the right medication, I got my life back.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: Me too, me too.
• 52:02
  Speaker 5: So you know, one hand, I'm saying, don't take medication.
• 52:06
  Speaker 5: On the other hand, I'm saying, take medication.
• 52:07
  Speaker 4: Hey, that's prescribed by a doctor that you're picking up
• 52:10
  Speaker 4: at CVS.
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: Very different, And I'm going to sit down and have
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: a talk with my kids because I didn't know any
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: of this, and I didn't know how prevalent it was,
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: and that alone could change the trajectory of their lives.
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: So thank you for that was our whole I remember,
• 52:27
  Speaker 4: just yeah, after Jack passed, all of us were like
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: and our kids wore the same age as Jack, and
• 52:35
  Speaker 4: we're all like, do you understand not once, not even once?
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: Can you take a pill? That's never? It is not
• 52:43
  Speaker 4: that world never.
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: So where can people find out more about the charity,
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: How can they get involved, how can they help it grow.
• 52:52
  Speaker 5: So the site my son created is called Happyjackworld dot
• 52:55
  Speaker 5: com and there's a donation link, you know, right on
• 52:59
  Speaker 5: the site. But it makes me happy when people buy
• 53:03
  Speaker 5: his designs and I get to see the kids in
• 53:06
  Speaker 5: college at parties and all that, like wearing Happy Jack
• 53:09
  Speaker 5: shirts or Happy Jack has.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: By the way, they're the best. I cannot believe that.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: I'm so stupid. I didn't put on my sweats today.
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: I have.
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: Literally, they're my favorite.
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: They're not like shitty sweats, like qually heavy, fabulous sweats,
• 53:22
  Speaker 4: Rachel Wars like lit'sten my hands.
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: We did.
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: It's just it's not just half webpads. They're amazing. Yeah,
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: they're so great.
• 53:32
  Speaker 5: It's you know. We were donated a pop up store
• 53:36
  Speaker 5: in South Street Seaport right after my son passed, and
• 53:41
  Speaker 5: we had all of his artwork and we had this
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: amazing wall where people would come in and write about
• 53:45
  Speaker 5: their mental illness and people come in just read the
• 53:49
  Speaker 5: balls and we sold merchandise and it was like one
• 53:51
  Speaker 5: of the best things that if I could do that
• 53:54
  Speaker 5: all over again, I would. I would do it because
• 53:56
  Speaker 5: I think once people hear the story from me from
• 53:58
  Speaker 5: a mother and people see my son's face, you know,
• 54:02
  Speaker 5: like I want I don't want it to just be
• 54:04
  Speaker 5: a story. I want them to like, look at my son.
• 54:09
  Speaker 5: He was nineteen years old. You know, he played lacrosse.
• 54:13
  Speaker 5: He plays it like he Yeah, he's no different, no different.
• 54:22
  Speaker 5: So I think that it's once you make it as
• 54:26
  Speaker 5: real as you can for these kids and have it
• 54:29
  Speaker 5: not like sit down, Like look at his face. Look
• 54:32
  Speaker 5: at his initial posts on Happy Jack. He started this company,
• 54:35
  Speaker 5: not me. Go back on Instagram, you know, at a
• 54:39
  Speaker 5: Happy Jack world and look at his original posts. He'll
• 54:42
  Speaker 5: tell he was very He'll tell you I have anxiety,
• 54:46
  Speaker 5: I struggle with depression. I want to be the voice
• 54:48
  Speaker 5: for kids who have none. That was well him, and
• 54:52
  Speaker 5: I'm just trying to continue what he started. And that's
• 54:58
  Speaker 5: why I am as transparent as I am today.
• 55:03
  Speaker 4: Okay, I love you madly. Over the Moon Beyond and
• 55:08
  Speaker 4: you guys were having an event in August, so we'll
• 55:13
  Speaker 4: both Brady and I both and Jackie obviously I'd love
• 55:16
  Speaker 4: to be there. Yeah, and a big fundraiser which we'll
• 55:22
  Speaker 4: talk more about. But I don't even what do you say, Brady,
• 55:25
  Speaker 4: I just I love you. I'm in awe of you,
• 55:28
  Speaker 4: your pain is our pain.
• 55:30
  Speaker 5: You know, I love you dearly. You know that. I
• 55:33
  Speaker 5: would just say, even if your kids tell you you're annoying,
• 55:37
  Speaker 5: keep talking, yeah, keep talking, going to you know, I sent,
• 55:42
  Speaker 5: I was the mom, I sent the videos, I pharted
• 55:45
  Speaker 5: all that shit that we you know, we all do, right.
• 55:47
  Speaker 5: Jack would say like, do you ever send me anything good?
• 55:50
  Speaker 5: I'm like, but it can happen, And He's like, man,
• 55:52
  Speaker 5: you worry too much. Well, I know.
• 55:53
  Speaker 4: Rachel's like, how many times do you send me a
• 55:55
  Speaker 4: video of Bret? How do I break out of my
• 55:56
  Speaker 4: car if it goes underwater? It's how many of those
• 56:00
  Speaker 4: who would have watched.
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: I didn't even think of that, Oh jeez, because they
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: come up and then you just forward forward for I know,
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: it's very scary.
• 56:07
  Speaker 5: The statistics are a bit higher with a fantastical but yeah,
• 56:16
  Speaker 5: I mean, anyone could reach out to me. I'm you know,
• 56:19
  Speaker 5: our email addresses on the site, their resources on the
• 56:22
  Speaker 5: site as well. We've had a ton of press coverage.
• 56:26
  Speaker 5: You know. I encourage everyone to speak out and own
• 56:30
  Speaker 5: who they are and just keep talking.
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: Thank you for everything that you do, because you could
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: have very easily just you know, crawled up in the
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: ball and and not let anyone see your face. And
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: you took the complete opposite route and decided to make
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: Jack's mission your mission. And you probably have saved so
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: many lives that you don't even know about.
• 56:52
  Speaker 5: I hope.
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I'm sure you have.
• 56:56
  Speaker 5: I hope.
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: I love you.
• 56:58
  Speaker 5: I love you more. Thank you, Brady, Thank you guys.
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: That was a description of my worst nightmare all of
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: all mothers. I just I don't know that I can
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: talk right now.
• 57:14
  Speaker 4: I know, well you have to because someone has to
• 57:19
  Speaker 4: close out the segment.
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: But I think, if anything, it will start a very
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: important conversation in my house that has never been had,
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: and I would guess a lot of people have never
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: had with their kids because you're.
• 57:32
  Speaker 4: Timing of this is really perfect in terms of like
• 57:35
  Speaker 4: you're sending your kids off to college soon.
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: I feel like that is just such well.
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: Also, they go to curious time, and you know, it's
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: so scary to think that people are so reckless with
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: other people's lives and to think of the amount of
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: pain that she has to carry every.
• 57:56
  Speaker 4: Day, every day, and it doesn't That's why I said
• 57:58
  Speaker 4: to her, how are you doing?
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: Are you? I say, stupid? Ship?
• 58:02
  Speaker 4: Is it getting any better. No, it's not getting better.
• 58:05
  Speaker 4: It's never going to get better. It'll get different, maybe
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: not better, you know, all.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: Right, you're amazing for that event, and keep me posted,
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: keep us well posted on the details, and it's so
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: important and happy Jackie. Guys, So to happy Jack buy
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: some merchant charity.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, lovey bye guys, Bye guys,