Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 2 Reasons that narcissists try to reach out and hoover you

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2 Reasons that narcissists try to reach out and hoover you · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people Welcome to another
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  episode of the narcissist Code. I am your favorite self aware
• 0:06
  narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock better known as mental illness
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  across all social media platforms.
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  This your first time sit in my face or hear my lovely voice.
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  I am a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I use my platform
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  on social media to raise awareness for NPD, get more
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  people into therapy and also validate the victim, survivors
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  and thrivers of said disorder, said toxic people said toxic
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  traits. Today's episode, it's going to
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  be about two different reasons that narcissistic people reach
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  out to you. Now within these two reasons are
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  a bunch of different ways, but typically these are the reasons,
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  the reasoning behind why they reach out to you.
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  You see what I'm saying? So to this reason.
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  So yeah, before we hop in today's episode, the kids book
• 0:48
  will be out this week. The proofs come in tomorrow,
• 0:52
  Tuesday the 17th, and they should be on Thursday or Friday.
• 0:55
  So we we shall see the kids book.
• 0:58
  Remember, it's not your fault. Drops on this drops this week it
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  will be done and out. So OK, y'all two different
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  reasons, two different ways that narcissistic people reach out to
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  you. One of the reasons like I said
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  like like I said before, within these two reasons or a few like
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  within these two reasons are a few different ways, a ton of
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  different ways. But this is the reason behind
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  why they reach out. The first reason is to help you
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  help you see this help quotation bars.
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  If y'all if y'all. Listening to this on the
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  podcast, the first reason is to help you quote UN quote.
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  You know quote, help, UN quote to help you.
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  They will pretend to try to help you out with something like for
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  you to help you, for you to to help you or for you to help
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  them. Help the word the operative word
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  is going to be help. They want you to feel like they
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  are trying to help you out in some way, shape or form.
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  Like you maybe with some money, maybe with some food, shelter,
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  cheek clapping, whatever the whatever the situation or
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  dynamic is, the reasoning behind it is to help you.
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  Is it a Hoover? Yes, a Hoover.
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  An attempt reaching out means Hoover.
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  And that's why I was like, if y'all are used to the words that
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  people use to talk about narcissists and talk to people
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  reaching out means to Hoover. You know what I'm saying?
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  So this is one of the reasons that you Hoover you is to help
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  you, to help you or say that they themselves need help.
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  They'll reach out to you like I know we are together.
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  I know you decided to go your your separate ways and whatnot.
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  But I I told you I would always be there for you.
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  And this is me being there for you.
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  So if you need anything I'll always be here.
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  And I hope it works both ways. I hope it's vice versa.
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  Blah blah blah Boo Boo Boo BB. They want to use that.
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  The reasoning behind help. Yeah, helping plays on your
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  empathy. This would be an.
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  I guess it's where people use empath.
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  This is where being an empath can hurt you right here.
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  Because the word help or the reasoning help plays on your
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  empathy. If you're an empath, if you're a
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  kind, caring person, they will absolutely, 100% weaponize your
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  empathy against you. I know people will be bragging
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  on that. I'm a highly sensitive person.
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  I have a lot of empathy. You keep bragging on that in
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  front of a narcissistic person and y'all been in a relationship
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  for a long term, they will ruin your damn lies because of your
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  empathy. You see what I'm saying?
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  They will tear your life to pieces because of your empathy.
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  They just will. They'll say that they need help.
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  They'll send you a picture of a hospital.
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  Look, this is one of the main ways that they'll do it.
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  Y'all well under the help category.
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  They will send you a picture of them in the hospital or hospital
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  release form, or they'll post something on their story so one
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  of your friends or your family members can see it.
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  If you have them blocked, somebody else is going to see it
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  and want and tell you about it. That's what they're hoping the
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  picture of a hospital bracelet or them in the hospital.
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  Just like didn't really want to be here tonight, but they had
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  nowhere else to go. I need to be here.
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  Blah blah blah blah. It's hard.
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  It's hard doing this stuff while you alone.
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  The prank on your empathy help. They say that they need help and
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  they feel like you need help. You know what I'm saying?
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  It's not just y'all don't let your empathy be weaponized
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  against you. Y'all know y'all.
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  Hear me constantly saying this because it's important.
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  I know sometimes I sound like a broken record to some people,
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  but it's important that you understand this and it's
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  important that you hear this. It's important that this is this
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  does not go understated. Narcissistic people, toxic
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  people will consistently weaponize your empathy against
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  you. They just will y'all And if they
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  the guise of help. I need help praying.
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  I need help getting back into school.
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  I need help. Whatever, what, whatever, what
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  it is they'll tell you that they need help with or they'll offer
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  you some help that reestablishes the connection.
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  Sometimes, like when you try to help them or they help you.
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  If it works, y'all get you. Start focusing on the good
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  times. I remember the time.
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  It wasn't always this bad. He used to be good.
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  They were tired. They were good times, too.
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  Of course. Yeah, of course.
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  Of course. Of course.
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  Of course. There were good times.
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  It's not always 100% going to be bad.
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  You focus on the good times when you're helping them out or
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  you're help, or they're helping you out.
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  They're playing the Savior or you're playing the Savior to
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  them. Of course you're going to focus
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  on the good time because now the good emotions are flowing.
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  This is like the good. It's like you're cracked open
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  the good bottle of wine, except instead of wine, it's emotions.
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  You you cracked open the good emotional memories.
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  A good bottle of wine. Y'all just drinking, making sexy
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  eyes over you. See what I'm saying?
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  You cracked open the good stuff, so the good memories are going
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  to float. Of course they are.
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  You see what I'm saying? This is the way it goes right
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  there. That's that's that's part of the
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  dynamic. That's part of the
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  understanding. That's part of the paradigm of
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  dealing with narcissistic people helping to help you or have you
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  help them. You see what I'm saying?
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  Watch out for that. When you break up with them, you
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  decide to go no contact. When you decide to finally stick
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  on, stand on your stand on your own 2 feet solidly.
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  Or stand on your own ground solidly, or sit.
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  You know, just be. Just stand in your boundaries
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  solidly and be dumb with this person.
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  They're going to try to pray on your empathy.
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  And guess what happens if they reach out for help?
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  A cry for help. If they do a cry for help or an
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  offer to help and you refuse it, guess what?
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  You never loved me. You never cared about me.
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  It hurts with nobody ever there for you.
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  I've been there for you. Blah blah blah Boo Boo y'all.
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  Come on. God damn it, man.
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  I don't think I'll understand how frustrating this stuff gets,
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  man. I've been wanting y'all to win
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  more than y'all want yourselves to win sometime.
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  And it's extremely frustrating because I give people this fire
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  advice. I tell people what's going to
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  happen. They still don't got damn
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  listening. They just ruin their lives.
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  Yeah. And I it just, it sucks.
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  I go to therapy. My therapist is like, you got to
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  disconnect from that. She's like, you have a lack of
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  empathy. You can disconnect.
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  She's like, go and help me. Talking to you helps you be,
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  helps you build some more cognitive empathy.
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  But you got to pick your targets.
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  You got to choose your targets wisely.
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  So I can't help everybody or everybody, you know?
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  You see what I'm saying? You have to want to help
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  yourself. They can't help you anymore.
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  You see what I'm saying? And we have kids and they want
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  to help. They want to help with the kids
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  more. They want to help the kids by
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  watching them at my house. No, they only watch the kids in
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  my house. No, they only watch the kids.
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  I'm there. No, Then it's not about the
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  kids. It's about you.
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  Y'all, You don't have to take their offer every time.
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  They offer you for help, offer you some help.
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  You don't have to take it, especially if you're done with
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  the relationship. Y'all.
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  Sometimes you like I said, set your boundary stand on your own
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  too. You have to.
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  You have to. If you want this to be done, you
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  have to. If you want this to be done, you
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  have to. I'll leave that part on that.
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  So the second reason, y'all that a narcissistic person will reach
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  out to you or to or try to Hoover you is to hurt you.
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  The first one is helping, the second one is hurt.
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  Harm they want to heal or harm to two HS Heal or harm.
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  And they come from hammock. You said my last name is
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  hammock. Healing or harm.
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  They want to harm you. They want to hurt you.
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  The healing part didn't work. They trying to heal or help
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  didn't work. You know what I'm saying?
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  Offering healing or offering help or asking for help didn't
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  work. So now sometimes they go
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  straight to harm. Sometimes they don't do the
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  helping for us. Sometimes they go straight to
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  harm. You burgle with me, you hurt me.
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  Or I burgle with you. And I want to make sure nobody
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  else wants you. You're not in good shape
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  anymore. Boom.
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  I got to hurt you. Now.
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  Now I got to go. Now I got to go for now.
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  I got to go for the pain. Now I have to go for the hurt.
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  You see what I'm saying? Now they try to hurt you.
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  Another reason a narcissist will try to Hoover you is to just
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  hurt you. Some of them trying to suck you
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  back into a relationship just to hurt you.
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  Some of them trying to suck you back into it just to harm you.
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  Some of them trying to suck you back into it just to destroy
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  you. Yes, they want to cause you
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  pain. Yes, some of them are absolutely
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  sadistic. Yes, some of them want to see
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  you and hurt. Some of them want to see you
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  bawled over cry. Some of some of them don't want
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  to see you have a big emotional reaction to them.
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  Some of them do not carry out. Some of them want you to feel
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  this pain. They want you to feel this hurt.
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  They want you to feel it because some of them don't care.
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  And I think they blows people's minds when I say that it
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  shouldn't. Some of them don't give a damn.
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  Y'all. They want to see you in pain.
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  Because if they feel like they feel like if you hurt me, I have
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  to hurt you. And even if I left you, even if
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  I left you, right? Even if they're narcissistic
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  person broke up with you. Even if I broke up with you, it
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  was Oh my mind came off. Sorry.
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  Y'all give me one second. OK, so even if I broke up with
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  you, it would hurt me to see you as somebody else.
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  So I need to hinder. You're moving on.
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  Even if I'm with somebody else, it would hurt me to see you
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  happy with someone else. So I have to hinder that.
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  I have to hurt you. You see how toxic that is?
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  You see how manipulative it is? It's future hurt.
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  It's like, what's that movie? Tom Cruise?
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  Minority Report. They are arresting you for
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  future crimes. They're arresting you for crimes
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  that you might commit. They're arresting you and
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  hurting you. They they are hurting you for
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  stuff that you might do in the future, for something that might
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  happen. So I have to keep you down so
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  you do not come up. I have to bury you in this.
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  I have to bury you so you don't grow into a beautiful flowering
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  plant that I can no longer get any kind of nutrients from, that
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  I can never no longer pick the fruit of.
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  I have to bury you. But this is what about this is
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  y'all they think they are burying you.
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  This is what this is. What am I doing?
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  This is one of the most powerful statements I've ever heard
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  dealing with toxic relationships or anything in real life.
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  They tried to bury me, but they didn't know that I was a seed.
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  They they thought they were burying you, but they actually
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  planted you. And you do grow into their
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  beautiful flowering plant. You do have beautiful fruit that
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  somebody else gets to pick. They no longer have access to
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  this flowering tree. And don't you dare.
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  When you glow up after a tight relationship.
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  Don't you fucking dare. Let them come back into your
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  life and and dig up the roots and ruin your tree.
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  Don't you dare. I know somebody left me a
• 11:17
  comment the other day. Lately you be cussing too much.
• 11:19
  Yeah, I rarely be cussing these videos and when I start cussing
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  you know I'm serious. So don't you fucking dare let
• 11:25
  them come back into your life and destroy your relationship
• 11:28
  statuses. Destroy your success, destroy
• 11:30
  your progress that you made after you got out of this
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  toxicity. So they try to bury you.
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  They didn't know that you were a seed.
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  I heard that. And I just like so they're
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  reaching out to hurt you. We're wondering.
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  They reach out to help you, or offer help, or ask for help or
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  to hurt you. Stand on your own to reject
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  them. And make sure that you subscribe
• 11:52
  to my newsletter to get the actual release date of the book.
• 11:55
  I'm going to release my newsletter tomorrow.
• 11:57
  Tomorrow, the new news, the new newsletter will be out.
• 11:59
  Y'all so thankful for every single one of y'all like and
• 12:02
  subscribe for more and as always, but to who this is out
• 12:05
  peace. Thanks for making me to the end
• 12:07
  of my video Y'all. If you haven't already, check
• 12:09
  out joining the channel memberships for behind the
• 12:11
  scenes perks, priority response to the comments and a few other
• 12:15
  things like to the description every single video I do.
• 12:17
  Thank you so much.