Latest / Forged In The Dark / Sometimes You Have To Quit
Transcript
- Forged In The Dark: Sometimes you have to quit. Sometimes you have to quit. Not quit on believing in yourself. Not quit on doing the work, getting a little better every day. Not quit on creating your life. Not quit on what you're building or your goals. But sometimes the only thing or the best thing to do is. To quit. Quit the people, places, things, beliefs, negative self-talk, all of it that's not serving you. Welcome to Forged in the Dark. I'm your host, Jamie. Let's dig in. Now, unfortunately, I have a lot of stories around this topic of when it is okay to quit, when it is right to quit. This episode is not permission to quit on your life, quit on your dreams, quit on your goals, quit on what you're building, It's n I am not giving you a permission slip to give up on yourself. I am giving you a permission slip to quit on what is not working. Now, now there was a time in my life that I used to tell people that I would chew on something and then I would keep chewing and keep chewing and it lost its flavor a long time ago, but I'm still chewing on it. So think of that piece of gum that you have been chewing way too long. Good night. Here's your permission. Spit out the old gum. How long did it lose its flavor? Was it a day ago, a week ago, a year ago? Why are you still chewing the gum? Why are you still chewing the gum? Spit it out. And and all of this permission to quit. really is stemming from a conversation that happened in my run group a couple Saturdays ago. on this particular day it wasn't my strongest run. I was I was I was far enough behind the other runners that I I wasn't part of the conversation. But I was close enough that I could hear the conversation. And one of the ladies was was really torn. She was tormenting herself over a choice to stick with something that she had committed to or to let it go. She knew realistically that the demands of her life had changed since she made this commitment. She knew. That when she started, it was fun and exciting. And now it wasn't just inconvenient, it had become a burden. Even getting through the workouts were hard because she was so focused on how this training was depleting her and leaving her without the ability to show up. In the other areas of her life where where she needed to be. And and I got to listen to this whole conversation. And I have to give many, many kudos to to the people that were ahead of me because they were asking her really, really solid questions. But none of these questions led her to a place where where. She could start to let go of the guilt because that's what she kept coming back to. So eventually we did come to a street and the light was red for us. Like we had to stop. There was traffic. We had to wait for for the for the go. And I finally had my opportunity to join the conversation. And I first thanked everyone. Like I was listening to their questions. Every single person was listening to her story. They were catching the details. They were asking very thoughtful questions. But the one thing that no one brought up is that it it is okay to quit. So my request was that she go back to one certain point in the conversation. And I said, let me ask you this. What if it's not one or the other? What if it's both? What if you what what if there are two truths going on here? And what you're actually looking for is the permission to let go of the commitment. You are not giving yourself permission to let go of the commitment, to let go of the thing that is no longer serving you. And it doesn't mean like for the for this specific instance, I said, look, you can press pause. This does not mean that you can't pick this up in three months or six months. But right now your life is asking you to be here right now and this is depleting you. It is running you into the deficit. You're tired. You're grumpy. You're not looking forward to the training. You're not consistently giving it your all because you don't have your all to give. But if you look at your life, once you get this through this next six months, then what? and everything started to shift. So, where in your life do you need permission to spit out the gum? Where in your life do you need permission to quit? And what is the thing that is asking to be released, showing you what's not working? You know, I I always tell people to look at what's not working in their lives because it it's a great indicator of where to begin. What is the area of your life that causes you the most stress? What is the area of your life where you you just you just can't seem to find peace? What is the area of your life that why did my words just go flying right out of my head? I had another really good one. and it's one that I use but it's gone. And that's okay because I don't need to run down all of the many different ways you can identify what's not working in your life. More than likely, you know what's not working in your life. And and I can't tell you how many times I have personally been here. I stayed in my marriage far too long for the wrong reasons. I this one this one is really interesting. So as I've been running and as I've been running longer distances, I happen to notice that my right knee has started to have some sensation. And It's the craziest thing because it it really did take me a week or two to recognize that the way I sit when I'm working. I either sit with my toes like tucked up underneath, like like pushing down on the like the bar on the chair, or I have my legs crossed. And when I have my legs crossed, I don't just have my legs crossed, I have them like if you know the yoga pose eagle, how how your foot wraps around the the calf. And one day I noticed sitting how I normally sit, my knee was hurting. And in that moment, I'm like, my gosh, you're adding so much pressure to your knee. How your sitting is not working. Okay, so this is such an easy one. Just change the way you sit. And I giggle because it's easy. I mean, it's simple, but it's not easy. I shouldn't have said easy. It's simple, but it's not easy. I can't tell you how many times a day I catch myself sitting in one of those ways I just described. And then I go back and I put both feet on the floor and I say, okay, no more. Okay, stop crossing your leg. You're hurting your knee. Changing things we do all the time. It's not, it's not a complicated process. And that doesn't mean it's easy. When it comes to the things in your life that are not. Working, what is stopping you from letting go? Old programming, old stories, an old belief system, a loyalty to a person, place, or thing that is not reciprocal. What is it for you? I I have been in this situation so many times where I stayed too long, I was loyal too long, loyal to people. Loyal to that old belief system that kept me small and invisible. And now it's your turn. Like it's your job. It is your responsibility to quit the things that don't work. A lot of my habits, they are so good and they are so solid. And and they are here not just by choice. But out of necessity, there are certain things that I do every single day that I have to do to stay away from the doctors, to stay off of pharmaceuticals. It was not easy to quit my doctors all of those years ago, but they were keeping me sick. You see, I mean I could just keep going down example after example after example when really I just need you to look at what is not working in your life and stop waiting for permission to make choices that are right for you right now. That choice you made made sense six months or a year or 10 years ago when you started doing it. But if it doesn't make sense for your life anymore, for the love of Pete, please quit. Imagine what could open up in your life if you took the time and patience and energy away from what's not working and put it towards something that is. Okay, well that's where I'm going to leave you. Until next time.