Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Some Narcissists will break up with you just because they think you are going to leave them
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:02Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:05I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock,
- 0:08better known as mental illness across all social media
- 0:11platforms. This is the first time I see in
- 0:13my face or hear my lovely voice. I make clinically diagnosed
- 0:15narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
- 0:18awareness for NPD, get more people in the therapy and also
- 0:21validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said disorder.
- 0:24Said toxic people said toxic traits.
- 0:26Today's episode is going to be about how some narcissist will
- 0:30break up with you or discard you because they think you're going
- 0:34to break up with them. It sounds so simplistic and
- 0:37silly and silly, but it's yeah, there's a lot of stuff going on
- 0:41behind the scenes with narcissist minds.
- 0:43Before we hop deep into today's episode, y'all make sure you
- 0:46check out the Self Love brand. I love me.
- 0:49This is the I I'm resilient. Shirt links are in the
- 0:52description of every video and podcast that I do.
- 0:54Thank you so much. Thank you so, so, so much.
- 0:56Seriously, I'm. I'm super blush out.
- 0:59But yeah, yeah, some narcissistic people talk to
- 1:02people will absolutely, absolutely break up with you or
- 1:07leave you just because they think you're going to do the
- 1:09same thing to them. They they look, not a lot of
- 1:13narcissists, y'all have abandonment issues.
- 1:16It it is just one of those things that that is deep and
- 1:20dwelling within the mind of a narcissistic person.
- 1:24Like this person is going to leave me, everybody in my life
- 1:27leaves me because you you, yeah, you actually hear some of them
- 1:29say that some narcissists will absolutely will actually say
- 1:32that out their mouths. You're going to leave me like
- 1:34everybody else that they will actually say that out of their
- 1:37mouths like you're going to leave me.
- 1:39That's exactly what they'll say. And so in a lot of these
- 1:41situations where you're dealing with narcissistic people, yeah,
- 1:45they will say that, but a lot of animals will say that.
- 1:47Coming from a place of manipulation to try to get you
- 1:49to stay, you know, you leave me like everybody else does.
- 1:52Some of them absolutely believe that everybody else in their
- 1:54life leaves them. There's like a little bit of
- 1:57honesty coming from them. Does that mean that you should
- 1:59stay so you don't leave them like everybody else does?
- 2:02Absolutely not. That does not know.
- 2:04Hell, that does not mean that. That means that you should
- 2:07understand that this is a level of manipulation that is coming
- 2:10out of nowhere. You see what I'm saying?
- 2:13Because a lot of a lot of times like this is the level of
- 2:15manipulation. They're they're trying to
- 2:17manipulate you into saying they're trying to emotionally
- 2:19manipulate you. They're trying to play on your
- 2:21emotions. But a lot of narcissists do feel
- 2:24that way. Y'all in the in that deep into
- 2:26like deep in our minds, we do think that it's like, okay Dang,
- 2:30I think this person right here, this is how this is going to
- 2:34work right here. So in the mind of a narcissist
- 2:36or a toxic person, we think that right there.
- 2:39Y'all it's just like we think everybody's going to leave us.
- 2:41Especially so if we're with you, right?
- 2:42If we're in a relationship with you and we feel like you're
- 2:46pulling away, it's like a sixth sense.
- 2:48Y'all it's like this weird intuition that we have, like
- 2:50things are different, right? We feel like you're pulling
- 2:53away. We feel like you're giving us
- 2:55less love. We feel like you're giving us
- 2:56less affection, so we start doing the same thing to you.
- 3:00But guess here, here's the kicker.
- 3:01I know, I know. I already know.
- 3:02I already know what you you probably.
- 3:04But you probably what I said that you probably threw your
- 3:06hands in the air. It was like, Lee, what the hell
- 3:08are you talking about? That's exactly what the
- 3:10narcissist is doing to us. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
- 3:15yes. They're already doing it to you.
- 3:18It was just like some of our statistic.
- 3:20People are so oblivious to how we affect the world around us.
- 3:25It's just like we just do it. It's just become second nature
- 3:29for us to just disconnect from you.
- 3:31And we see you disconnected from us.
- 3:33And we blame you because we don't know.
- 3:34We don't even see that we're doing it, So we blame you.
- 3:38You're like, oh, this person is disconnected from me.
- 3:39This person don't like me. This person don't care about me.
- 3:41This person is right here. They're going to leave.
- 3:43They're getting ready to leave me.
- 3:44I can feel it. I can feel it in my heart.
- 3:46I can feel it in my mind that this person is going to get
- 3:49ready to leave me. I can.
- 3:50I know it. And I don't want to be
- 3:52abandoned. So when they feel like you are,
- 3:55when they feel like you are disconnecting from them, guess
- 3:58what happens, they disconnect from you, right.
- 4:02But they already they already disconnected from, they already
- 4:04started to devalue you. You're in the devaluation stage.
- 4:08But in this process a lot of time the narcissistic person
- 4:12think that you are devaluing them.
- 4:14They. So some of us are so oblivious
- 4:16to our actions. Do we do we know what we're do
- 4:18we know what we're doing When we're hurting you, we're doing
- 4:22bad things. Yes, we know that those are bad
- 4:24things. But sometimes it's just like
- 4:26going through the motions of our lives and being so self-serving
- 4:30that we're oblivious to what we are doing.
- 4:32Like we are disconnected from you, but we can't.
- 4:34It doesn't feel like it. It feel like you disconnected
- 4:37from us. So we start treating you worse.
- 4:39Yeah, we start treating you worse.
- 4:40When we start blaming you for how we got here, we start
- 4:42treating you worse. So because we think you're going
- 4:45to leave us, guess what happens now?
- 4:47Because we think you're devaluate us.
- 4:49We go out and seek new supply. We go out and start getting
- 4:54ready to move on because we don't want to be abandoned,
- 4:56right? We one of one of a lot of
- 4:58narcissists biggest fears is being left alone.
- 5:03Like being left with no new supply, being left with no
- 5:06backup plan. Being left with nothing, Like
- 5:09with with nothing. With nothing going on.
- 5:11You see what I'm saying? That's one of the narcissists
- 5:13biggest fears right there. It's just absolutely being left
- 5:16like that. So we don't want to be left
- 5:17right. So we need to leave you.
- 5:19We don't want to be left alone with no supply and be panicking.
- 5:22And so yeah, now we start to seek new supply.
- 5:25You see what I'm saying? Sometimes This is why we seek
- 5:27new supply, because we think you're disconnected from us.
- 5:29So we feel like we need to connect with somebody else.
- 5:32It seems so simplicity, it seems so stupid because a lot of times
- 5:36it is y'all, It's simplistic and it's dumb as hell in the mind of
- 5:39an artist. And this is where lack of
- 5:41communication issues come in. This is where shame and lack of
- 5:43accountability come in. We don't talk.
- 5:47We we we internalize everything and we blame you for it instead
- 5:50of talking to you about it. And then we disconnect and we
- 5:53try to connect to somebody else. When we feel like we're about to
- 5:56be abandoned, when we feel like we're about to be left, we
- 5:59connect to somebody else. And the patterns keep happening.
- 6:01Y'all the pattern, we secure somebody else before we move on.
- 6:05You see what I'm saying? We make sure that somebody else
- 6:08is here and then we move on and things of that nature.
- 6:11So that happens so much in these toxic relationship spaces.
- 6:13Y'all it. It really, really does.
- 6:16And that's why I tell people that it's like, sometimes the
- 6:19narcissist leaves you because they think you're going to leave
- 6:21them. That's one reason why.
- 6:23They just literally will just, you may just disconnect from you
- 6:26because, like, OK, this person's going to leave me and I'm going
- 6:29to leave them, so I'm going to leave them first.
- 6:31I don't want to be left hanging. I don't want to be left high and
- 6:34dry with no supply. No, I'm not trying to wrap.
- 6:37I'm not trying to wrap. My problem is I'm not trying to
- 6:39rhyme. I'm not writing narcissistic
- 6:41poetry right here for your ears. I was just literally just saying
- 6:44this stuff. But that's how it goes, Y'all I
- 6:47try to. I try to put it into people's
- 6:48head. Like this is the mindset of a
- 6:50lot of narcissists and talk to people right here.
- 6:52Y'all this is just how it goes. You A and I wish a lot of people
- 6:56would see this and a lot of people would feel this more like
- 6:59a lot of times they just disconnect from you because they
- 7:01think you're disconnected from them.
- 7:03And again, y'all this is not me trying to blame you, this is me
- 7:05trying to wake you up. Because sometimes if you feel
- 7:08like they're disconnecting from you, if a narcissist,
- 7:11narcissistic person is disconnecting from you, if
- 7:13they're loving you, you feel like they're loving on you less.
- 7:16You feel like they're giving you less affection.
- 7:18They're caring about you less, they're doing less things with
- 7:19you. Typically they're doing it with
- 7:21somebody else, and this is not me trying to say they're
- 7:24cheating on you, but I'm just trying to say they might be
- 7:26thinking about it. The the thought crossed their
- 7:29mind if their if their mind was A is A2 lane highway, the
- 7:34thought just crossed the street. The the the the thought of
- 7:37cheating on you or leaving you for somebody else looked both
- 7:40ways and then it crossed the narcissistic Rd.
- 7:43Why did the narcissistic thought cross the road?
- 7:46Because it thought some new supply was over.
- 7:48It's this was terrible. That God, I've been doing that
- 7:50joke. That's a terrible joke.
- 7:51I'm just saying in there. Yeah, I don't.
- 7:52I don't pause to care about. I don't stop it.
- 7:55But yeah, yeah, that's how this is how it goes.
- 7:58Like they will leave you literally because they think
- 7:59you're going to leave them. The better issues run rampant
- 8:02and this start like this is not nothing.
- 8:03This is not anything new. Y'all this.
- 8:06Absolutely. This absolutely starts in a This
- 8:11absolutely starts a lot of times and it in these situations.
- 8:16This absolutely starts when you're dealing with narcissistic
- 8:19people. Like, it starts a long time ago.
- 8:22When they disconnect from you, it just goes, you know, it it
- 8:25goes like that. It really does.
- 8:27So if you're dealing with a narcissistic person, keep like,
- 8:30don't let them overpower you. Y'all, Don't let them overpower
- 8:33you. Don't let them do anything like,
- 8:34say, if they get ready to abandon you or leave you.
- 8:37Make sure that you just like, yeah, don't internalize it.
- 8:40It's not your fault, I promise you.
- 8:44You can try to communicate with them.
- 8:46You can try to talk to them about them you like, hey, you
- 8:48can literally sit them down in the kitchen and just say, hey,
- 8:52look, this is what we're going on.
- 8:54This is what's going on right here.
- 8:55This is what we this is what we're doing right now, You know,
- 8:58This is what we're doing. This is what we have going on.
- 9:00This is how we're going to do things right.
- 9:03And they were just, oh, nothing's going on.
- 9:04Nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong.
- 9:06Nothing is going on here. Nothing happened.
- 9:10Like, what are you talking about?
- 9:11You're you're crazy. You're delusional.
- 9:12They'll gaslight you to make you feel like there's no problem
- 9:14going on when they can literally open their mouths and talk.
- 9:17Because this one of the biggest issues in relationship with
- 9:19narcissist, job, communication. Narcissist do not know how to
- 9:22communicate with you. They do.
- 9:23They do not know how to communicate.
- 9:25And because the lack of communication runs rampant,
- 9:28that's why. That's one reason why a lot of
- 9:29these relationships with narcissistic people just blow up
- 9:33because of lack of communication.
- 9:34And yeah, could you, could you maybe communicate better with
- 9:36the could you, could you maybe try to communicate more?
- 9:39Yeah, you could. But you know at the end of the
- 9:41day, you can't communicate with somebody that's not willing to
- 9:44communicate with you. You can't communicate with
- 9:45somebody and talk to somebody openly that's not willing to
- 9:48talk to you openly and be vulnerable and tell you what's
- 9:51going on the side of their mind. You just how do you do that?
- 9:54You you be talking to yourself. You be better off going to the
- 9:56your closest brick wall and just say hey look, we have a problem.
- 10:01Like you just won't move other way and you're brick and you're
- 10:04hard. You need to soften up.
- 10:07Imagine telling the brick wall to soften up.
- 10:08Yeah, this is just like talking to a door statistic person
- 10:10trying to convey your feelings and why you feel like the
- 10:13relationship is not working on how you think you should look.
- 10:15I need you to soften up and open up and be vulnerable to me.
- 10:18I need you to do that. You're talking to a brick
- 10:20Walker. It's pretty much basically what
- 10:21you what you're doing. We're talking to a door
- 10:23statistic person. Y'all but seriously, y'all.
- 10:26Thank y'all for tuning in to another episode.
- 10:28I truly appreciate every single one of y'all.
- 10:30If you haven't already, make sure you like the like and
- 10:32subscribe to the channel. Thank you.
- 10:35Thank you Mr. Hillness is out. Peace What is going on beautiful
- 10:39people Thank you so much for making it to the end of my
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- 10:59self love Lee Hammock. I love me on Amazon and what
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