Latest / Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe / The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 61

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The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 61 · Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe

• 0:00
  What's up, Hammer and Hank? If I hit the music.
• 0:02
  What the heck are you doing, buddy? I'm doing
• 0:04
  pretty hecking good. If I hit the music, would
• 0:07
  you be ready to start the show? 10 -4. Mm -hmm.
• 0:12
  You're listening to The Hammer and Hank Show
• 0:14
  with Henry Oaks and Ryan Hoppy. Legend on the
• 0:30
  airwaves free Autistic ping -pong, Cali's hard
• 0:33
  OG Wild 949, he the voice they need Doghouse
• 0:37
  days, laying down the cream Too legit to quit,
• 0:40
  Hammer and Hank on fire Mic and head, lifeline
• 0:43
  and wire Radio beast ain't showing no tire Underdog
• 0:47
  champion, always going higher What up, Hammer
• 0:50
  and Hank? How you doing, buddy? I'm doing good.
• 0:55
  How are you? I had an interesting week this week.
• 0:59
  Tell me about it. Let's get right into it. I
• 1:02
  stayed in the National Anthem at the San Jose
• 1:04
  Giants game on Tuesday. Mm -hmm. You did a very
• 1:09
  good job. You get better each time. Thank you,
• 1:12
  buddy. I'm going to play it in a second, but
• 1:14
  I was having kind of a bad morning when I watched
• 1:17
  it. And I know what you're going to say when
• 1:20
  I say this, but I said in the clip, I began laughing
• 1:24
  because the way you said thank you, buddy, was
• 1:27
  so heartwarming that I really needed it. So thank
• 1:30
  you for that. What? Where'd the sound? Oh, wow.
• 1:37
  That was, what did you say, Hank? Thank you,
• 1:40
  buddy, for watching my video. I knew you'd say
• 1:42
  thank you, buddy. That bit failed because I had
• 1:44
  you on mute. Jackass. All right. Here's the deal.
• 1:49
  I have the national anthem right here. So 856
• 1:52
  -494 -6773. Right here. Hey, can you see by the
• 2:02
  dawn's early light what so proudly we hailed
• 2:10
  at the twilight's last gleaming? And the rocket's
• 2:38
  red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof
• 2:45
  through the night that our flag was still there.
• 3:17
  bodies. What I love too, Hank, the previous National
• 3:21
  Anthems you had was a pretty good crowd. That
• 3:23
  crowd cheering for you, dude, you must have felt
• 3:27
  amazing. Thank you, buddy. How did you feel,
• 3:31
  though? It was so far amazing. How did you feel
• 3:35
  when you were, during the moment, how did you
• 3:37
  feel? Extremely good. On a scale of one to ten,
• 3:42
  how nervous were you? About seven. How do you
• 3:48
  fight through those nerves? By taking cough capsules.
• 3:54
  By taking what? Cough capsules. What's that?
• 3:58
  I'm battling a terrible cough right now. Oh,
• 4:01
  cough capsules. I was thinking those drugs. That
• 4:04
  would be weird to have you up there on shrooms.
• 4:08
  I don't think your brain could handle shrooms.
• 4:10
  Everett Hank, there is something your brain can't
• 4:14
  handle. It's radio. What is your radio memory
• 4:17
  of the week? When I walked into FM 104 KHOP way
• 4:25
  back in 1992, it was a Modesto radio station.
• 4:29
  You love the city of Modesto. You're very connected
• 4:33
  to it. What is your favorite memory of that day
• 4:36
  at that radio station in Modesto, California?
• 4:40
  To enjoy the station. Did you meet any of the
• 4:44
  famous, highly paid radio DJs? Mm -hmm. Not really,
• 4:49
  but I met some of the sales staff who hooked
• 4:52
  me up with a sales kit. Oh, yeah. That is the
• 4:56
  most salesperson and radio thing I've ever heard.
• 5:00
  I think I've gotten about 90 sales kits. I have
• 5:03
  an egg. It says here that you'll be going to
• 5:06
  a San Francisco Giants baseball game. That'll
• 5:11
  be tomorrow. They'll be taking on the Los Angeles
• 5:13
  Angels. Mm -hmm. And I hope the Giants beat the
• 5:17
  living tar out of the Angels. Living tar, I love
• 5:20
  it. Mm -hmm. What do you not like about the Angels?
• 5:26
  The Angels, they kind of suck. Mm -hmm. Why do
• 5:31
  they suck? Because they have one of the worst
• 5:35
  records in the American League right now. That's
• 5:37
  a good point. You know more about baseball than
• 5:39
  me. Let's do a little baseball segment, a little
• 5:43
  improv here. What's happening in the world of
• 5:47
  Major League Baseball, Hank? Nope. The Royals
• 5:53
  win the World Series this year, but I doubt it.
• 5:55
  I doubt it, too. Unfortunately, it'll probably
• 5:57
  be the Dodgers again. It's fucking Dodgers. Their
• 6:02
  fan base is a bunch of thugs. I didn't say that.
• 6:05
  I have it, Hank. Are you ready for the jokes?
• 6:10
  Breaking news before my jokes. What? Breaking
• 6:14
  news. What's the breaking news? LeBron James
• 6:18
  has decided to join the Philadelphia 76ers. I
• 6:22
  saw that, dude. It's crazy. He's a douchebag.
• 6:28
  He fits in perfectly in Philly because he's an
• 6:32
  asshole. It makes sense. I have radio buddies
• 6:36
  who work in Philly. Who are your radio buddies
• 6:39
  in Philly? Buster. Who? Buster. Hector? Buster.
• 6:47
  I don't understand, but he sounds like a good
• 6:49
  DJ, but he's funny. Buster. Buster? Buster. Wait.
• 6:55
  F -E -S -T -E -R. B -E -S -T -E -R. F -E -S -T
• 6:58
  -E -R? B -E -S -T -E -R. Oh, Buster! It's where
• 7:04
  I go with that hot -ass Mary girl named Bex,
• 7:07
  right? Yeah, he's also the program director at
• 7:10
  QO2 in Philly. How often do you talk to Buster?
• 7:14
  Not too often. You should bust him up. I don't
• 7:18
  know what that means. Hammer and Hank, if I had
• 7:20
  the music, are you ready for joke of the week?
• 7:23
  Joke time. Why do you always set five alarms?
• 7:44
  Why do you always set five alarms? Because apparently
• 7:47
  I don't trust the first four. Me too. Why do
• 7:52
  you always carry a water bottle? Why do you always
• 7:55
  carry a water bottle? Because dehydration is
• 7:58
  on today's schedule. Why do I keep saying I'll
• 8:03
  start Monday? Why? Because Monday has become
• 8:08
  my life coach. Why do I always read a text before
• 8:15
  answering the phone? Why? Because I like to know
• 8:19
  what kind of emergency I'm ignoring. Why do I
• 8:24
  always leave one chip in the bag? Why? Because
• 8:29
  then, technically, I finish it. I didn't finish
• 8:33
  it, I should say. You didn't finish that day
• 8:35
  in the studio when you got the blowjob. Why do
• 8:39
  I always say I'm almost ready? Why, you're alone.
• 8:44
  Because I haven't even started. Sounds very,
• 8:48
  very rude. Why do I always check if the door
• 8:53
  is locked twice? Why? Because one check is confidence.
• 8:58
  Two check is adulthood. Why do I always keep
• 9:04
  mold -ridden receipts? Why? Because I like protein,
• 9:09
  I'll return to it someday. Why do I always walk
• 9:14
  into a store for one thing and leave for five?
• 9:22
  Because the shopping cart started making decisions
• 9:25
  for me. And finally, why do I always say, I'm
• 9:30
  just going to lie down for a minute? Why? Because
• 9:34
  saying... Seeing two hours feels a little dramatic.
• 9:38
  And that's it for the jokes for this week. Oh,
• 9:41
  yeah. What music do you think I'm playing? Church
• 9:46
  music. How the hell is church going? Very good.
• 9:51
  We just started on the book of 2nd Peter. How's
• 9:55
  that happening? Pretty good. I love church so
• 10:02
  much. I know you do. I'm attending the service
• 10:05
  again this Sunday. What have you been praying
• 10:08
  about? Pastor John and his upcoming surgery.
• 10:12
  Oh, it is. Anything else? That's it for this
• 10:16
  week for church. Oh, wow. That's how church should
• 10:20
  be. It's an hour long of boringness. I didn't
• 10:23
  say that. Hammer and hang. People can leave a
• 10:25
  voicemail. 856 -494 -6773. If I hit the music,
• 10:29
  would you be ready for trivia? Yes. What do you
• 11:03
  have? Who had the top ten hit record, Hey There
• 11:09
  Delilah, back in the mid -2000s? That's correct.
• 11:18
  Who else? Who had the top ten hit record everywhere
• 11:21
  back in 2002? Correct. Who had the top 10 hit
• 11:32
  record break free back in 2014? Kelly Clarkson?
• 11:37
  Nope. Ariana Grande. God damn it. I got 66 %
• 11:42
  and that's a passing grade in high school. A
• 11:44
  D. Any other ones? What was the top 10 hit record?
• 11:50
  Honestly, back in 1974. I'm in 1981. I'm sorry.
• 11:54
  Madonna. No, Billy Joel. Oh, shit. Any other
• 11:59
  ones? That's it for this week. Fuck! If we only
• 12:03
  would have had three and I would have got two
• 12:04
  out of three, that would have been 66%. That
• 12:07
  would have been passing. But of course, you wanted
• 12:09
  to have another one and then I got 50. I got
• 12:12
  an F. I'm just kidding. Better luck next time,
• 12:15
  buddy. You're the fucking best. I have her and
• 12:21
  Hank. This is another moment where I'm so fucking
• 12:26
  grateful that I have you as a friend. So for
• 12:29
  people listening, Hank sends prep every week.
• 12:32
  He sends us like 13, about 12, 13 topics. Texts
• 12:38
  it and emails it. So it's very efficient. It's
• 12:40
  great. I copy and paste the prep and I look at
• 12:43
  it. You sent the prep around 11 a .m. my time
• 12:46
  and I was looking at it. This just made my morning.
• 12:50
  So we all know that Hammer and Hank loves to
• 12:53
  masturbate. What guy doesn't? Unless you're used
• 12:56
  to getting asked. Hammer and Hank, I love this
• 13:00
  here. So it'll say like buddy of the week, prick
• 13:03
  of the week, listener comment, shouts, joke of
• 13:05
  the week. It says here on the prep sheet, the
• 13:09
  most Hammer and Hank thing I've ever seen. It
• 13:12
  says, pop music artist who I am to. I jack off
• 13:20
  to Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Madonna.
• 13:28
  I love how we go from talking about church to
• 13:32
  masturbating. I don't know why it's so funny
• 13:37
  to me. Who I am to. You didn't even type out
• 13:40
  jack off or masturbate. You put it M. You can
• 13:46
  see why that's funny, right, Hank? Yes. I'm not
• 13:49
  laughing at it, it's just so, I just, I was like,
• 13:52
  what does that stand for? Emancipate! What are
• 13:55
  you thinking about? Are you thinking about actually
• 13:57
  having sex with these women? No, attending concerts.
• 14:03
  So you're, so when you're cranking it, you're
• 14:05
  thinking of just being at the concert? Dancing
• 14:08
  in the aisles. Oh, yeah! Into the Grove by Madonna!
• 14:14
  In the first few rows. Right by the stage. So
• 14:21
  in your thoughts, you're jerking off next to
• 14:25
  the stage. No. I don't need to know any more
• 14:31
  info. Hammer and Hank, let's clench this segment.
• 14:35
  Hammer and Hank, if I hit the music, would you
• 14:37
  be ready for buddy of the week? Yes. Let me turn
• 14:42
  it up. In the clone. Tune in to the show. It's
• 14:48
  Hammer and Hank. Autistic genius always keeping
• 14:51
  it dank. Henry Oaks on the mic. Hot rod and shotgun.
• 14:54
  Roll call for the buddies. We just having some
• 14:57
  fun. Who's your buddy? Oh, I got knocked off.
• 15:12
  No, you're here. My buddy of the week is Miguel
• 15:17
  from the San Jose Giants and also everyone who
• 15:21
  saw me seeing the National Anthem at the San
• 15:24
  Jose Giants game this past Tuesday. You killed
• 15:28
  it, dude. You knocked it out the park. I hope
• 15:33
  I get the chance to see the National Anthem again
• 15:35
  in the future. Come on, it's funny. I said you
• 15:38
  knocked it out the park. You're at a baseball
• 15:40
  game. You're knocking out the park. That was
• 15:42
  funny. Anyway. Go, buddy. That's what I deserve.
• 15:48
  All right, Hank. If I hit the button and play
• 15:51
  the music, would you be ready for a prick in
• 15:53
  the nose? Yes. All right. Let me hit this. Straight
• 16:03
  out the dim lit, Henry on the mic, what's this?
• 16:06
  Prick in the news, fools thinkin' they slick.
• 16:08
  Ryan got the scoop crew ready to expose. Shots
• 16:11
  fired, dodgin' pigs in the petty pros. Coppers
• 16:14
  in the back, hoppy with that verbal machete.
• 16:16
  Every word on weapon, cameras rollin', y 'all
• 16:18
  ain't ready. Keyboard warriors, actin' tough
• 16:20
  behind the screen. Between the lines, you get
• 16:22
  sliced like a deli cheese. Prick in the news,
• 16:25
  he's a thorn in my... All right, Hank! Who's
• 16:28
  your prick in the news? Henry Ryan dropped a...
• 16:31
  What did Diddy do? He got into a fight with an
• 16:36
  inmate while in prison. Yeah. And, uh, P. Diddy
• 16:41
  was dressed up to solitary confinement. Loser!
• 16:47
  Loser! No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not loser.
• 16:54
  Do it a little better. It's loser! One more time.
• 17:03
  Yeah, you're saying it so hard that the freaking
• 17:05
  microphone is dying. And I also don't want to
• 17:07
  piss off Smurfette. I have it, Hank. Anything
• 17:12
  else going on in your cranium? Any emails? We
• 17:19
  have comments here. Hank, every time you sing
• 17:22
  the national anthem, you get much better. Keep
• 17:26
  up the good work. I am proud of you. Thank you,
• 17:29
  buddy. Next comment. Hammer and Hank, you are
• 17:33
  an inspiration to those. What autism? Keep up
• 17:37
  the good work. So there's some nice comments.
• 17:40
  Everyone's nice to Hank. Anyone that's a douche
• 17:42
  to Hank can go just suck themselves off because
• 17:46
  they're losers. Anyway, Hammer and Hank, is there
• 17:50
  anything else going on? Yeah, I'd like to be
• 17:56
  on the show Selena someday. What show? Selena?
• 18:01
  I mean, be on Selena's radio show to promote
• 18:05
  this podcast. Oh, you mean Selena from Wild 94
• 18:09
  .9. Right? Yeah. I don't know why I thought it
• 18:13
  was the one that's been dead for 32 years. Yeah,
• 18:17
  yeah, yeah. Here's a nice one, man. You got to
• 18:20
  hit up Graham, see what he's prone. We've done
• 18:26
  61 episodes. Can you believe that? Yes. It feels
• 18:32
  like it. I'm just kidding. Hammer and Hank. Anything
• 18:35
  else? That's it. All right. Give me a second
• 18:39
  here. Hammer and Hank. Can you believe it's been
• 18:43
  61 episodes? Yes. Wow, the way you said that,
• 18:47
  I can't believe it, but whatever. The show's
• 18:51
  older than you. What is your birthday again?
• 18:56
  November 16th. I don't know why I thought it
• 18:58
  was August. It was a very good show. I thought
• 19:04
  it was funny. We talked about jerking off and
• 19:07
  Jesus, all the good stuff. Start us off. Well,
• 19:12
  I'll talk to you real soon, buddies. Peace in
• 19:14
  your hood. Bye, Hank. I love you. I love you
• 19:18
  too, buddy. Bye. There he goes on Zoom. The man,
• 19:26
  the myth, the legend, Hammerhead Hank. Every
• 19:31
  time he says he loves me, I get a dopamine hit.
• 19:36
  Goodbye. And that is that. Yo, yo, yo. Mike Crackle,
• 20:03
  Hammerin' Hank on the tackle. Autistic mind sharper
• 20:06
  than a bone -chilling shackle. Henry Oates with
• 20:08
  the hops, Ryan Hopp in the spot. Radio waves
• 20:10
  hittin' hard like a chef with a box. Farewell,
• 20:13
  Hammerin' Hank, gotta close up the show. Legend
• 20:15
  in the booth where the vibes used to flow. Autism
• 20:18
  warrior, always runnin' the blow. But all good
• 20:21
  things gotta let the curtain go slow. On the
• 20:23
  dial, spittin' truth with his unique grind. Thoughts
• 20:26
  intertwined like graffiti on the line. Rhyme
• 20:28
  on the line. on the mic Henry's rhythm divine
• 20:30
  they the blueprint every beat they design static
• 20:33
  in the speakers where the laughter used to ride
• 20:35
  Hank led the show with that beautiful pride autism
• 20:38
  didn't stop him not amplified hammering Hank
• 20:42
  forever immortalized farewell hammering Hank
• 20:44
  gotta close up the show legend in the booth where
• 20:47
  the vibes used to flow autism warrior always
• 20:50
  running the glow but all good things gotta let
• 20:53
  the curse See a host with the sauce. Henry Oaks
• 20:57
  and Ryan Hart. Lightning never lost. Puzzle piece
• 21:00
  crown. Man, this dude was the boss. City missed
• 21:02
  the voice. That's the ultimate cost. Farewell
• 21:35
  Hammer and Hank gotta close up the show Legend
• 21:38
  in the booth where the vibes used to flow Autism
• 21:41
  warrior always running the glow But all good
• 21:43
  things gotta let the curtain go slow Radio gate
• 21:56
  never ghost He a host with the sauce Harry Oaks
• 21:59
  and Ryan Harp Lightning never lost Puzzle piece
• 22:01
  crown Man is doing what the boss The ultimate
• 22:05
  course. What's up? Ryan Hoppe here. And I want
• 22:30
  to tell you about the Ride the Wave Media Podcast
• 22:33
  Network. They got such great shows. It's Practically
• 22:36
  Magic, Those Guys, Blaine's World, and even my
• 22:40
  show, Hoppe Hour with Ryan Hoppe, which can be
• 22:43
  heard by searching Hoppe Radio. This podcast
• 22:46
  network is going to take over the world. It is
• 22:49
  everything that radio is missing. Now you're
• 22:52
  hearing my voice and you go, how can I find it?
• 22:54
  Ride the Wave .media is the website. name, and
• 22:59
  there has all the great podcasts. And once again,
• 23:02
  this is Ryan Hoppe from the Ride to Wave Media
• 23:05
  Podcast Network. What's up? Ryan Hoppe here,
• 23:08
  and I want to tell you about the Ride to Wave
• 23:10
  Media Podcast Network. They got such great shows.
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  It's Practically Magic, Those Guys, Blaine's
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  World, and even my show, Hoppe Hour with Ryan
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  Hoppe, which can be heard by searching Hoppe
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  Radio. This podcast network is going to take
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  over the world. It is everything that radio is
• 23:29
  missing. Now you're hearing my voice and you
• 23:31
  go, how can I find it? RideTheWave .media is
• 23:35
  the website name and there has all the great
• 23:38
  podcasts. And once again, this is Ryan Hoppe
• 23:41
  from the Ride The Wave Media Podcast Network.