Latest / The Cursewords in Cursive Podcast / Episode 5:S4- Lincoln Mark

Transcript

Episode 5:S4- Lincoln Mark · The Cursewords in Cursive Podcast

0:24
SPEAKER_10: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back again to a new episode of the Curse Words and Cursive Podcast.
0:28
SPEAKER_10: My guest here today is Mr.
0:31
SPEAKER_10: Lincoln Mark.
0:32
SPEAKER_10: Hi.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: It's been a while since I've been on a podcast, so I'm like looking at the cameras and like Camera 102 minutes.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: Do I just camera one?
0:43
SPEAKER_01: Do I talk to myself?
0:45
SPEAKER_01: Dear, Lincoln.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: It's here.
0:48
SPEAKER_10: Woo! It's been a minute for me too.
0:50
SPEAKER_10: How's it going?
0:52
SPEAKER_10: Good, good.
0:53
SPEAKER_01: Good.
0:54
SPEAKER_01: Last time we saw each other was like maybe uh two lifetimes ago in uh Ship Rock and High School, I think maybe.
0:59
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, I think.
1:00
SPEAKER_10: Oh my gosh.
1:01
SPEAKER_10: The stories I've told about Ship Rock High School on this podcast.
1:05
SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, uh I guess the the consolation that comes out of that is, you know, um our uranium history and we've what we produced uh one NFL player, apparently.
1:15
SPEAKER_01: So Mr.
1:17
SPEAKER_01: Shiaj Pete.
1:18
SPEAKER_01: Shiage Piaj Pete.
1:21
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, he's he's he's he's going on right now.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: So if anything that happens on the uh the Navajo Nation, Shiprock is where we produce the great ones.
1:30
SPEAKER_10: Oh yeah, the voyeurs, uh the chief pete and you got all the uncles over there saying I would have been drafted.
1:38
SPEAKER_10: I could do that! Oh goodness, you're not Shiage Pete.
1:41
SPEAKER_10: You're you're Shiata Pete, you're just Shiage.
1:44
SPEAKER_10: Shiata Pete.
1:45
SPEAKER_10: Shiata.
1:45
SPEAKER_10: Your your uncle, your uncle these days.
1:49
SPEAKER_06: Laying on the couch.
1:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:51
SPEAKER_06: But yeah, welcome to the podcast.
1:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, I'm I'm very happy to be here.
1:55
SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm I'm impressed with with with just just you know coming out and getting back on in the speaking sphere of of of talking with and it's not even just talking in any kind of podcast, it's more, you know, native, Native American oriented, Native American topics, Native American lifestyle.
2:12
SPEAKER_01: Not so much politics because uh Ryan don't care for politics.
2:23
SPEAKER_01: It's just, you know, politics is just it's we all know what it is.
2:28
SPEAKER_01: It's sticky, it's it's messy, it it it's disturbing, it's disturbing, it it makes your fingers black with whatever poison and toxic it is, and yet everyone loves it for some reason.
2:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:41
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just kind of stepping back from it and just not I just you know, I'll support a candidate, throw my hat uh as far as my support.
2:49
SPEAKER_01: But beyond that, you know, my political commentaries of saying something, it's just I've seen what it does in the community in gossip and all of this stuff, and I'm just kind of like, yeah, no, thank you.
3:00
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, yeah, that's that's good.
3:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:03
SPEAKER_01: You're one of the good ones, huh?
3:06
SPEAKER_10: More so protecting my peace.
3:08
SPEAKER_10: That's good.
3:08
SPEAKER_10: That's very good.
3:09
SPEAKER_10: You should always protect your peace.
3:11
SPEAKER_10: That's that's that's that's what I've been doing a lot lately.
3:14
SPEAKER_10: That's kinda that's kind of why I took a big uh long hiatus from podcasting, from doing a lot of stuff to refine myself.
3:23
SPEAKER_01: I think that's good.
3:23
SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of people need to do that.
3:25
SPEAKER_01: You know, one of the things in this might sound like a cop-out, but you know, my insurance pays for like counseling sessions.
3:31
unknown: Okay.
3:32
SPEAKER_01: Counseling sessions, uh Don't worry, I'm in counseling too.
3:35
SPEAKER_01: Virtual counseling sessions and the you know, the 45-minute day phone calls with my counselor.
3:40
SPEAKER_01: It's like, you know what, it's as as much as people demonize, you know, speaking to a stranger about your problems or whatever it may be, you know, it it does get something off your chest.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: It does, you know, pull a little bit off of the stress off of your spirit, off of your soul, just to speak to someone or something that, you know, whether or not they believe you or not, it doesn't really matter.
4:02
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes people just need to be heard.
4:04
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's I don't want to say it's this is not a pop, not a politics thing.
4:08
SPEAKER_11: No, you're fine, you're fine.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: But when I worked for, you know, the the the president, the boo nigger, when I worked for him and I worked for all these different offices, when I would go to anywhere on Navajo, you'd go to a chapter meeting or whatever committee meeting, and you give the microphone to some community member.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: Oh, here's two minutes, say your piece.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: 30 minutes later, and here's what I wanted to say.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: And this, but that's all I wanted to say, and that's why I came up here.
4:35
SPEAKER_10: And it's like, you know, and their eyes are closed, and they're like, uh, adults, and then like five minutes later, oh my clans.
4:42
SPEAKER_01: It's like, no, no, we're although the Lord knows.
4:45
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and it's like, my, you know, my god guy, like this, like you this is why it, you know, I was talking with my one of my good friends about this, is that we think that a lot of people would, and I'm gonna get political.
4:59
SPEAKER_01: It's just I mean, it's just it's just I it's uh you know, it I was credited for being the person that that can say the things that people always think.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: And you know, I at first I was like, yeah, that's cool.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: But now now these days it's like, well, everyone knows what I'm gonna say.
5:14
SPEAKER_01: It's just everyone's afraid to say it these days.
5:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
5:16
SPEAKER_01: But I think everyone wrestling with whatever, you know, trauma.
5:21
SPEAKER_01: I when when they say historical trauma, I'm like, all right, calm down.
5:24
SPEAKER_01: But when whatever demons you have, right?
5:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's your responsibility to to sort through it, to figure it out, be accountable.
5:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, to yourself.
5:35
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
5:36
SPEAKER_01: I mean, if you have a family, you're you that's that's your priority, yourself.
5:39
SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, but anytime I would go out there and I meet these people and I would listen to them, it just went on and on and on.
5:46
SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, first of all, we're not here to talk about any of that.
5:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
5:49
SPEAKER_01: We're here to talk about how to connect the water line from ship rock to Ganado, or something like that.
5:56
SPEAKER_01: And they're like, Oh, well, I have a lot of pain.
6:00
SPEAKER_08: I'm like, my ancestors and my aunties and I was abused at the the boarding.
6:06
SPEAKER_01: And like, I I my family, you know, elders were also in boarding school and all this stuff, but like, you know what, there's a place and time for that.
6:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's just, you know, a lot of it, I think if everyone just had a uh, and I said this one time on my podcast.
6:20
SPEAKER_01: I know my podcast, my video.
6:22
SPEAKER_01: I said if everyone had their own come to Jesus moment, everyone didn't know what that meant.
6:26
SPEAKER_01: They're like, oh, we don't believe in Jesus.
6:28
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, that's not what it means.
6:30
SPEAKER_01: It means if you just have that aha moment, that realization of like, oh, let me come to reality and understand that maybe I'm part of the problem, maybe I'm the problem, or some sort of like, you know, ting.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: That's what that come to Jesus moment means.
6:45
SPEAKER_01: Everyone's like, well, we don't believe in Jesus.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: Like, maybe I'm contributing wrong.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: Or something.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm saying the wrong thing.
6:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
6:51
SPEAKER_01: And that's all I was suggesting.
6:52
SPEAKER_01: I said, Is it possible?
6:54
SPEAKER_01: Is it possible in everything that you guys complain about that you are part of that problem?
7:01
SPEAKER_01: You fuel it as much as you say, Oh, I don't want to be part of that drum.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm not part of this, oh, they're just like this.
7:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: Yet you are.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: You know how I know?
7:10
SPEAKER_01: I go to your Facebook page.
7:13
SPEAKER_01: Pages and posts and photos and videos of all of the bullshit that is spread across all over, right?
7:21
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: Of the same thing that you said you would not do, criticize, or whatever it may be.
7:27
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, you guys don't understand that.
7:29
SPEAKER_01: I can see that.
7:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm just saying I think it might be beneficial for people to go and speak to someone professionally and just get it off their track rather than going to a chapter meeting and talking about your feelings there.
7:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:43
SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about the actual issues, you know, at a chapter meeting or something, rather than going over there unsaad because it's like I'm sorry.
7:53
SPEAKER_01: What's that gotta do with me?
7:54
SPEAKER_01: I know, it's like that that doesn't advance.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: Why do we have to pass this budget budget resolution?
7:59
SPEAKER_01: Like your feelings don't have.
8:02
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for this drink.
8:03
SPEAKER_01: It's very delicious, by the way.
8:05
SPEAKER_01: This is apple juice, by the way.
8:08
SPEAKER_01: Um, orange juice.
8:09
SPEAKER_01: Orange juice.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: It's orange juice because it's it's it's brewed with oranges.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: For for a for a good amount of time.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: A good amount of time.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: I that that's just one of my tangents that I always kind of go off on.
8:22
SPEAKER_01: It's just I sit there, I watch your videos a lot.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: I watch a lot of your videos.
8:26
SPEAKER_01: It it's the hypocrisy that always gets me, and you know, everyone that falls into the trap of the cycle of of of drama and gossip.
8:34
SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, I my hope is that people, it doesn't even need to be my friends, my family.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: I just hope it's just people.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: Be reasonable.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
8:47
SPEAKER_01: Be enlightened just a little bit.
8:50
SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of of something that I would say, if I would say something here, you know, and and here's what blew my mind.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: I remember I said, I think it was one of my videos that went viral.
8:58
SPEAKER_01: I think I was talking about the president or something.
9:00
SPEAKER_01: One of the I was talking about somebody.
9:02
SPEAKER_01: Which president?
9:03
SPEAKER_01: Uh uh Boo Nigren.
9:05
SPEAKER_01: Majin Bu.
9:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
9:07
SPEAKER_01: I will just preface this.
9:09
SPEAKER_01: I did at one point believe in Boo Nigren.
9:11
SPEAKER_01: That's why I joined his administration.
9:13
SPEAKER_10: I know a lot of people who did.
9:14
SPEAKER_01: And and and when I finally left his administration, I was disappointed.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: Let's just say that, right?
9:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
9:20
SPEAKER_01: I mean, people can be wrong.
9:22
SPEAKER_01: Um, but I remember I made a video and I said, and I know someone's gonna take my video and my words out of context.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: Ah shit.
9:29
SPEAKER_01: And then sure enough, I'm gonna take this video out of context and put it on Facebook.
9:33
SPEAKER_01: And I said, that's exactly the bullshit that I'm taking.
9:36
SPEAKER_10: Didn't that just happen?
9:38
SPEAKER_10: Somebody posts your picture on some some like oh uh some profile and yes, that that I saw that.
9:45
SPEAKER_01: I was like, what the fuck?
9:46
SPEAKER_01: That fucked me up.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: That well, I mean, I don't want to say it.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: I'm not giving power to it.
9:50
SPEAKER_01: It here's where it let's let's let me just let me tell what happened.
9:56
SPEAKER_01: So I again I it if people don't already know, I am on TikTok.
10:02
SPEAKER_01: I my my greatest follower following is on TikTok, right?
10:05
SPEAKER_01: There's over 50,000 people that follow me on TikTok.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: Um my Facebook, I don't want a following on there.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: I'm private on there as best I can.
10:13
SPEAKER_01: My Instagram, I took down everything on Instagram.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm just using it because I like the videos on there sometimes.
10:19
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes TikTok doesn't oh yeah.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: It's a it's a time killer.
10:22
SPEAKER_01: So the reels and shit.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
10:25
SPEAKER_01: So somewhere I was I I was like shopping somewhere and then I get a call from um from Wonder Rock saying, like, hey Lincoln, like the delegates are are mad and they're saying that you're this person behind this Navajo Deep State Facebook page.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: And I said, What?
10:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I said, I've heard of it and I've seen like some of those things said about one of my good friends on that page.
10:44
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, and he goes like, Well, yeah, they're just you know telling me to tell you to cut it out, but you know, I knew it wasn't you, and I'm like, No, it's it's not me.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: So that's when I like I just kind of blew it off, and then that's when I started to get like you know, some message requests and comments and like text messages from family members, like, hey, there's people saying stuff about you.
11:04
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, and like that's when I was like, Oh, all right, this is this is now I don't know whatever this is, but I'm like, I can already tell.
11:13
SPEAKER_01: And here's the thing allegations, gossip, they don't need to be true.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
11:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:21
SPEAKER_01: To to damn anybody in society.
11:23
SPEAKER_01: All they need to be is said, right?
11:25
SPEAKER_01: An allegation against you is just enough and as damning as it is as it to be true, right?
11:30
SPEAKER_01: Even though if it's not.
11:32
SPEAKER_10: Yes.
11:32
SPEAKER_06: That's that's kind of what I've been facing the past fucking three years.
11:36
SPEAKER_01: But it sucks.
11:38
SPEAKER_01: It does.
11:38
SPEAKER_01: Because it it's it it gives you no opportunity to absolve yourself, to to prove your innocence, to say that you know what, you're missing the context, you're missing the picture of what really happened or what is what was really said or what was really done, whatever it may be.
11:52
SPEAKER_01: And that's what pissed me off about you know this whole deep state thing.
11:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:55
SPEAKER_01: And then like the cut the days after I get a a message, well, a couple of messages and and screenshots of people saying, like, oh, there's there's these people, and there's these people from who are currently still employed with you know Boon Igard's administration who are name-dropping me hard in the saying, like, Lincoln, we know it's you.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: Cut it out.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: Stop it, Lincoln.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I was with my mom, and I think it was an Albuquerque at this time eating fucking uh enchiladas over at uh Sadies.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
12:24
SPEAKER_01: All of this was just going down.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, what is going on?
12:28
SPEAKER_01: So at that point, I was like, okay, this now warrants a just a brief response from me on Facebook.
12:35
SPEAKER_01: So I post it and I'm like, hey, I never really had a problem with this deep state post and their content, other than that they were using my friend's personal life.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: I didn't appreciate that, but everything else of them criticizing Crystal and Curly and all that like you could have at it, right?
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:53
SPEAKER_01: And then and I said, Well, I can't take credit for it because it's not me.
12:57
SPEAKER_01: So thought that would be enough.
12:59
SPEAKER_01: Next day, I'm getting my haircut over here at Jamie's barbershop.
13:04
SPEAKER_01: Jamie's barbershop, by the way.
13:05
SPEAKER_01: Um I have to name drop.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: Hey, hey, yeah, go for it.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: She's shout out, shout out to Jamie's barbershop.
13:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Jamie's barbershop here on uh downtown Farmage in New Mexico.
13:13
SPEAKER_01: You guys need a haircut.
13:14
SPEAKER_01: That those ladies.
13:16
SPEAKER_01: Can you see me?
13:18
SPEAKER_01: Those ladies are the ones you guys need to get your hair cut from.
13:22
SPEAKER_10: Um I'm sorry, Lincoln, but uh my haircut person is curly, my co-host.
13:27
SPEAKER_10: Oh forever and always will be curly.
13:31
SPEAKER_10: Been cutting my hair since fuck 2013, maybe.
13:34
SPEAKER_10: Oh wow.
13:35
SPEAKER_10: So, but I have dreadlocks now.
13:37
SPEAKER_10: But on top of that, yes.
13:40
SPEAKER_10: I just want to like just roll it.
13:42
SPEAKER_10: It feels like a puppy dog tail.
13:45
SPEAKER_10: Oh, it does feel like a puppy dog.
13:47
SPEAKER_10: It looks like a it feels like a puppy dog tail, but uh that if you look on the ends, I haven't twisted in a while, so it looks like a puppy's peter.
13:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh and for the record, it smells like Garnier too.
14:01
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's herbal essence.
14:04
SPEAKER_11: Yeah, I know my shit.
14:06
SPEAKER_11: Yeah.
14:07
SPEAKER_01: At least it smells good.
14:09
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
14:12
SPEAKER_01: Off topic conversation.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I've I've walked by people with dreads, and I'm like, dude, no, dip your hair into something.
14:18
SPEAKER_10: Um growing up, I I I kind of wanted dreads growing up, but um, this is the first time I kind of went out on a limb and said, fuck it.
14:25
SPEAKER_10: I mean, I'm gonna try some dreads.
14:27
SPEAKER_10: They're not twisted, they're all chushy now.
14:29
SPEAKER_10: So like but um I I was told like when when you have dreadlocks, you don't wash them, and that's how they like and tie up and all that, and they become loose and you just don't wash them.
14:40
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, uh, and it's like they probably stink.
14:42
SPEAKER_10: And I'm like, I don't think I can do that.
14:45
SPEAKER_10: But then when I finally decided to get dreadlocks, it's like uh let me try it.
14:50
SPEAKER_10: Let me just try one dreadlock, like Jack Sparrow from Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:54
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, okay, let me try it.
14:55
SPEAKER_10: Well, and I liked it, and I was like, let me get two, let me get three.
14:58
SPEAKER_10: Fuck it, do my whole hair.
14:59
SPEAKER_10: And I ended up doing my whole hair, and then um it just became that.
15:04
SPEAKER_10: It I I you gotta keep twisting it every now and then, or else it like your scalp produces more hair and that's not locked, so it's like kind of just links up.
15:13
SPEAKER_10: It's a big mess right now, and you you can wash your locks.
15:17
SPEAKER_10: Okay, you can wash it.
15:19
SPEAKER_10: Um the important part is you have to dry it, you have to wring it and dry it, or else you get mildew in your hair.
15:25
SPEAKER_10: Just headbang the entire time.
15:26
SPEAKER_03: Just air dryer.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: It's nice, it's nice sometimes.
15:29
SPEAKER_01: Well, this guy ruined it.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: When I lived out in DC, I was walking, I think I was walking to the Met.
15:33
SPEAKER_01: I don't know where I was walking.
15:34
SPEAKER_01: It might have been like a Sunday afternoon.
15:36
SPEAKER_01: I might have been walking to the grocery store or something, and I remember this guy with like, and he was not the typical person to be wearing dreads.
15:43
SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you that.
15:44
SPEAKER_01: Um but he had a head, like it like I don't know.
15:48
SPEAKER_01: It was like one of those Nickelodeon cartoons.
15:50
SPEAKER_01: I forgot the guy with dreads.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: I it I'm oh shit.
15:54
SPEAKER_01: Uh, anyways, he walked past me and I swear, like, I tried, I didn't eat anything, but I felt like I needed to throw up.
16:01
SPEAKER_01: Ah, it was just like, good God, dude.
16:04
SPEAKER_01: Like it.
16:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:07
SPEAKER_10: That was my some people can make it work, they make it look good, and some others they just like.
16:13
SPEAKER_07: I mean, what are you doing?
16:14
SPEAKER_10: When you start smelling cheese around you, that might be you.
16:18
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
16:19
SPEAKER_04: Like, it was it's just like, dude, like, cause like I can't, I can't.
16:24
SPEAKER_04: It's just I don't certainly need to grapping people here.
16:30
SPEAKER_10: Gross.
16:31
SPEAKER_10: But yeah, I've I've really grown to love dreadlocks.
16:35
SPEAKER_10: I have.
16:36
SPEAKER_10: I I I don't you really got there's a lot that goes into it.
16:40
SPEAKER_10: And I I honestly feel like it's one of my um like a stress reliever.
16:45
SPEAKER_10: Or like if I'm if I'm bored and I'm not doing nothing, I I'll start like locking it comes with your it doesn't come with it, but you get a little needle.
16:55
SPEAKER_10: It's got a little needle with a crochet.
16:57
SPEAKER_07: Oh, okay.
16:58
SPEAKER_10: A little crochet hook.
16:59
SPEAKER_10: It's the tiniest crochet.
17:00
SPEAKER_10: Oh, really?
17:01
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, and you just grab it like this and you just stab it and pull and twist, pulled and twist.
17:07
SPEAKER_01: See, anything that keeps you busy that's that's at least productive for you.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm in support of it, rather than someone who's like, oh yeah, let's go do meth or something.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, no.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: You could you could do something more productive with your time.
17:20
SPEAKER_01: Making yourself look better, you know, and if if you feel better because of how you're doing whatever it is, if you're getting a tattoo, you're getting dreads, if you're bleaching your skin to be two tones lighter, have at it.
17:32
SPEAKER_10: I I actually this is this year was the year I actually colored my hair for the first time.
17:36
SPEAKER_10: It's all it's all out, but I haven't colored it.
17:39
SPEAKER_10: I got the coloring.
17:40
SPEAKER_10: It was laying around here.
17:40
SPEAKER_10: I don't know.
17:41
SPEAKER_01: I know I colored my hair too, but it's not as not as What color is it?
17:45
SPEAKER_01: It looks purple in this camera that I'm looking at.
17:48
SPEAKER_01: It's not purple.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: There's too many lights hitting.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: You got green, you got blue, you got orange.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: Um I'm worrying my contacts, and my contacts is blurry, so just what color were you going for?
18:02
SPEAKER_01: What was it?
18:03
SPEAKER_01: Just a just everyone's like, oh, I want to go blonde.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: No, I don't want to go blonde.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: It's just just a shade brown lighter.
18:08
SPEAKER_01: That's what I did.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: Like a night because my hair is, you know, our hair is naturally dark, right?
18:13
SPEAKER_01: Dark brown.
18:13
SPEAKER_10: But if you put it in the sun, it's in it's kind of brownish.
18:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but like without the sun's help, I still want it to look brown.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: That's what I was trying to go for.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: Same.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: Um, without having you know the aid of someone flashing a flashlight in my head.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: So that's what I was trying to go for.
18:27
SPEAKER_01: And and this color is not it.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
18:31
SPEAKER_10: Um, I went for a lighter brown too.
18:34
SPEAKER_10: I was like, oh, cool, I'll do that.
18:35
SPEAKER_10: I'll I'll try a lighter brown.
18:38
SPEAKER_10: I saw it done on some of my friends and I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna try it for the first time.
18:42
SPEAKER_10: And I didn't see a difference.
18:45
SPEAKER_10: Oh yeah.
18:45
SPEAKER_10: And then I got like I just kind of narrowed down and I was like reddish, maroonish, burgundy ish.
18:52
SPEAKER_10: Looks kind of cool.
18:53
SPEAKER_01: So uh I tried it twice.
18:54
SPEAKER_01: Our hair tends to do that, it has a red tint to it, um, unless you tone it down with that that that brassy look to it.
19:01
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I went off topic with what?
19:04
SPEAKER_01: I was I was finishing with that deep state stuff.
19:07
unknown: That's fine.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: Um, yes, but do what you want with your hair and your dreads and and and and your piercings and whatever it means.
19:16
SPEAKER_10: Smelling like cheese and shit.
19:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:18
SPEAKER_01: Walk past me smelling like a friggin' double cheeseburger from McDonald's.
19:24
SPEAKER_11: Won't say one word to you.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: Um anyways, yeah.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: So I getting my haircut down over at Jamie's, and then um um she's asking, like, hey, I kind of heard what's going on online.
19:38
SPEAKER_01: Like, are you okay?
19:39
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Yeah, I'm alright.
19:39
SPEAKER_01: I'm just you know, it's just online bullshit, online, online gossip and politics.
19:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:45
SPEAKER_01: And then as I was leaving, I get a message.
19:48
SPEAKER_01: Look at the page.
19:50
SPEAKER_01: So I go over to the page.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: Oh shit.
19:52
SPEAKER_01: The guy hijacks my photo from my profile, puts it on there, and circles it and brands it.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: And like, first of all, and my initial thought was if you think of me as a symbol to expose Navajo Native American political corruption, if you think of me as the mocking J, right?
20:08
SPEAKER_01: Whatever that that game, that movie was, fine.
20:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like fine, but don't pretend to be me.
20:15
SPEAKER_01: And that's what this guy was doing because someone's like, Oh, thank you so much for showing who you really are, and he's like, Yeah, no problem.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh, fuck.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: And I said, That that's the problem for me.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: You're impersonating me now.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: You are actively pretending to be me.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: You can sue somebody for that, can't you?
20:29
SPEAKER_01: You can, but like, how far would that go in Navajo?
20:32
SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah.
20:34
SPEAKER_10: So, anyways, I gotta find them too.
20:37
SPEAKER_01: Well, I know who it is.
20:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh shit, okay.
20:41
SPEAKER_01: I mean, come on.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: Well, the the people who were name-dropping me hard found out before I did, but did those fuckers ever say, Oh, I'm sorry, Lincoln.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry it wasn't you, and I'm sorry for name-dropping you and spoiling your name amongst everyone who was reading the comments.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: No, they just got quiet and like left it alone.
20:58
SPEAKER_01: It's like, and that's what I my video, I was like, I knew those guys didn't like me even before all of this.
21:04
SPEAKER_01: They never had a reason to, you know, to dislike me, but this gossip gave them that reason.
21:10
SPEAKER_06: That's the shit I fucking hate.
21:11
SPEAKER_06: I know, that's that's what puts me up.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, you know what, that that's fine, that's fine, because I already knew I don't know.
21:17
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I'm a witch, if I'm a cheatie myself, but I just have this intuitional stance.
21:22
SPEAKER_01: I've tangled with those things before, don't worry.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: I got my bear skin in the vehicle right now.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: Let's go.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: But um, I'd like I you know, I tend to like have this sense of like setting up healthy boundaries of people that I would I would you know assume or just kind of get this uh sense of like you know, you'd be you'd be a little bit toxic or you'd be this with me.
21:43
SPEAKER_01: Therefore, I'm gonna block you.
21:44
SPEAKER_01: Therefore, I'm just gonna not really hang out with you or talk to you.
21:48
SPEAKER_01: And then they're like, oh well, Link is just an asshole because he's not talking to you.
21:50
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: But it's like, no, I'm just not I'm I already know whatever I say to you is gonna be taken out of context and you're gonna go and turn it around because you just don't.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Like me for whatever reason it may be.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: And and luckily I did, but after all of that blew over, uh, when they everyone, everyone who was name-dropping me hard on those pages and who was spreading my name at council saying, Oh, it was Lincoln, when they found out who it really was, not one of those fucks.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: Not one of those fucks, not one of those fucks went on their Facebooks, went on their videos, went on any of their fucking platforms to say, I'm sorry, it wasn't Lincoln, I was wrong.
22:36
SPEAKER_01: And to this day, and to this day, and you know, uh from words over in the administration, um, the president had still had some belief that it was me.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you know what, and I know the president personally, so I texted him and I was like, here, watch this video I made, and you know what, if if you believe baseless accusations about me, my character, without actually thinking that you actually knew me when you hired me and trusted me to work with for you, then we really didn't know each other at all.
23:09
SPEAKER_01: And I'm glad.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I'm glad we don't, we're not on you know, buddy buddy relationships, right?
23:15
SPEAKER_01: Like politically, I don't support the president, um Boot Nigren.
23:19
SPEAKER_01: Personally, like I still do like the guy.
23:22
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think he has some redeemable factors, but yeah, I'm like, there's you know, you can still like a friend, but they're you're like, dude, get it together.
23:31
SPEAKER_11: Honestly, that's I know a lot of people like that.
23:34
SPEAKER_11: Yeah, friends.
23:35
SPEAKER_01: Like, hey, you know, I was like, I want you to do something clean it up a little.
23:41
SPEAKER_01: Should you be choosing that?
23:42
SPEAKER_01: You know, like things like that.
23:44
SPEAKER_01: It's like, dude.
23:46
SPEAKER_01: I remember there was a council delegate once one time saying, like, oh, Lincoln Mark never graduated, he never went to law school.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, where the fuck was I for the last three years then?
23:55
SPEAKER_01: Was I on meth just tripping, pretending I went to law school?
23:59
SPEAKER_01: Walking around bashes.
24:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's just like, my God.
24:01
SPEAKER_01: It's like that's all the bullshit that comes out of and it again, it's like it's either here's what pisses me off.
24:08
SPEAKER_01: And I tell this to my friends, do it.
24:10
SPEAKER_01: I am not a fucking politician.
24:13
SPEAKER_01: I'm no one notable, I'm not an elected official, yet I get name-dropped by half of these fucks in council.
24:20
SPEAKER_01: I get name-dropped by half of these fucking appointed people in Navajo government, you know, like oh, Lincoln, this.
24:26
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, who the fuck am I?
24:29
SPEAKER_01: If anything, I should be, I should be, I should have my own podcast, I should have my own platform.
24:34
SPEAKER_09: You should, dude.
24:34
SPEAKER_01: I'd fucking folly of actually going out there and saying, hey, you you give you an example.
24:41
SPEAKER_01: As much as council delegates talk about, oh, transparency and let's talk about accountability.
24:46
SPEAKER_01: Show us what your budget is and show us what you pay for these things.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: Let's see your fucking travel documents.
24:51
SPEAKER_01: Let's see your fucking travel receipts.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: Let's see what you've paid for behind the scenes, right?
24:57
SPEAKER_01: Because every council delegate gets a P card.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: What's a P card?
25:01
SPEAKER_01: Purchase card.
25:01
SPEAKER_01: It's a it's a credit card.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: It's a it's a credit card that the Navajo people, the Navajo people, you, the Navajo registered Navajo person, pays for whatever these people use on their P cards.
25:14
SPEAKER_01: That is the president, delegates, whoever has it that's employed with the Navajo Nation.
25:19
SPEAKER_01: And if you're not asking every single one of these fucks, and I might get a P card too, because I'm worse.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: I'll show it.
25:27
SPEAKER_01: Well, here's the thing, here's what pisses me off.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: Because when I worked for the Washington office, anytime we went on travel, you there was like always like a per diem of like this is what it's like a breakdown.
25:38
SPEAKER_01: If you travel to like Philadelphia or DC or Phoenix, there's like a breakdown, an estimated um allowable hotel cost that you can incur if you go over, then you have to pay that whatever you you know in excess over your.
25:52
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, yeah.
25:53
SPEAKER_10: My old job had per diem that worked just like that.
25:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so we would use the purchase card, and me, I'm like, well, shoot, I don't want to be staying places, you know, that I can't, that's not on this list that I can go over.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: I'm looking at fucking comfort in the smaller specs.
26:09
SPEAKER_04: That's what that's what I own.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: That's how I would feel it gives me a little paranoia.
26:13
SPEAKER_06: Well, because I should be spending that.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: Well, for me, I'm like, well, I there's there's that personal accountability, right, for myself to be like, oh shit, like I really need to stick by these rules.
26:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, first of all, I don't want to have to pay back.
26:24
SPEAKER_01: But second of all, exactly.
26:25
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna just, you know, justify, oh, I would I stayed at the Four Seasons Hotel because the conference center was right next door.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: No, you stop.
26:35
SPEAKER_01: Like some of the justifications that you see with these council delegates, like some of them will buy first class tickets and say, Oh, I just needed more room because my leg hurt.
26:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh fuck no seriously.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: Seriously.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: Good God.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: Like, if I could name drop some of these fucks, like this is this is why this is I think this is why they name drop me first before I can say anything to smear my character.
27:04
SPEAKER_10: Because I'm like, yeah, I do know a lot.
27:06
SPEAKER_10: Kind of making you look like the crazy guy.
27:08
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, and I'm like, now you just want to talk shit.
27:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I'm like, well, he's crazy.
27:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like it's not that I I can say it.
27:13
SPEAKER_01: I have, you know, people have sent screenshots of these things to me.
27:17
SPEAKER_01: People have sent like you got the receipt.
27:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I'm like, I could, you know, I could very well be like someone like this deep state, but like, you know, that's not my that's not how I spread information.
27:27
SPEAKER_01: If I'm going to to to talk about anything, it's like, hey, it's me talking to you or the camera and being like, hey, this is my opinion, and this is this is what I believe, right?
27:40
SPEAKER_01: That's that's how I do it.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: I don't, as Justin Jones says, I don't hide behind bank accounts.
27:49
SPEAKER_07: I've seen that!
27:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yes, so I don't.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: Vote for Justin Jones, by the way.
27:55
SPEAKER_01: He's the only person that's gonna that's my opinion.
27:57
SPEAKER_10: Hey.
27:59
SPEAKER_10: So we've reached the 30-minute mark.
28:01
SPEAKER_10: That's when usually when the the cameras go off.
28:04
SPEAKER_10: Oh, this one, yeah, this one off.
28:05
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, that it's it's about 30 minutes, and then uh it just cools down for a minute.
28:10
SPEAKER_10: We can keep we can keep podcasting, and then we'll turn it on again in like a few minutes.
28:14
SPEAKER_10: I was gonna go topless, that's why.
28:16
SPEAKER_10: So it needs to go back on.
28:17
SPEAKER_10: No, the camera was like the government's like the camera went off.
28:21
SPEAKER_10: Stop talking about this.
28:24
SPEAKER_01: Topless.
28:25
SPEAKER_11: You're like, so let's get real here for me next year.
28:28
SPEAKER_01: I'm wearing these spanks in her heart.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: So you've kind of been around the United States a little bit.
28:36
SPEAKER_01: I feel like I have, but I mean, I feel like a lot of it was.
28:40
SPEAKER_01: I mean, of course, all of it was for work.
28:42
SPEAKER_01: And you know, when I did go travel and go to these places, you know, there was always that good faith effort for me to to try and do my work to get things done.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: But then I realized a lot of it was very political, and it disappointed me because it's like, well, then why am I here?
29:00
SPEAKER_01: Why am I wasting, you know, almost said the taxpayers' money, the Navo people's money, to to go and travel to these places and and all I'm doing is either pouring someone coffee or making sure someone has a pen.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:17
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
29:18
SPEAKER_01: Like it just it never made sense to me.
29:21
SPEAKER_10: And it it just so you got to go on a lot of places, but then that's really all you had to do?
29:28
SPEAKER_01: I took notes, right?
29:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
29:30
SPEAKER_01: The times that I because so when I worked for the Inavanation Washington office, my portfolio was public safety and justice.
29:39
SPEAKER_01: So anything that that had to deal with on a federal level across the nation, right?
29:45
SPEAKER_01: That was my responsibility to ensure I was informed on those issues, that I was up to date on those issues, that I was up to date on any of the regulations, legislation, laws, rule, federal rules, and all these things, right?
29:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:58
SPEAKER_01: That meant going to tribal consultations, going to all of these, you know, tribal whatever.
30:03
SPEAKER_01: And here's the thing is most of these tribal consultations, they don't mean shit.
30:07
SPEAKER_01: But the feds have already decided what they're gonna do.
30:11
SPEAKER_01: You can give all of your opinions and comments you want.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: That sounds like some pretty deep shit.
30:18
SPEAKER_10: Well, I mean, it's just like it when people like like honestly, like coming from my point of view, from from from where you are, from the journey you led.
30:29
SPEAKER_10: Say, like we first started the podcast.
30:31
SPEAKER_10: I've haven't seen you since high school.
30:34
SPEAKER_10: Miss Russell's class is the last time I remember.
30:36
SPEAKER_10: You know, you know something?
30:38
SPEAKER_10: Okay, check this out.
30:40
SPEAKER_10: I remember you.
30:41
SPEAKER_01: We're cutting this, we're cutting this portion of the uh no, we're not.
30:44
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, no.
30:45
SPEAKER_01: So so disclaimer, we're cutting this portion of the podcast.
30:48
SPEAKER_10: So so so so I specifically remember you.
30:54
SPEAKER_10: You were in Miss Russell's class, you sat two chairs above me, and I uh this is this is kind of one of those things that stuck with me for life.
31:04
SPEAKER_10: For life.
31:05
SPEAKER_10: Do you understand?
31:06
SPEAKER_10: Did I sneeze?
31:07
SPEAKER_10: No, you smiled at me.
31:10
SPEAKER_10: I don't know if you remember, but I was sitting there, I was playing my black guitar, and I I I've brought it up many times in the podcast that I was a kind of an asshole.
31:20
SPEAKER_10: I was I was an asshole in high school.
31:21
SPEAKER_10: I was I just thought you were.
31:24
SPEAKER_10: No, I yeah, I really wasn't, but uh to a lot of people I remember I was just like, oh god, shut the fuck up.
31:31
SPEAKER_10: Like I was mean.
31:32
SPEAKER_10: I I brought up the fact that I I was a bully.
31:35
SPEAKER_10: I never bothered you, but no, no, no, no, no, no.
31:37
SPEAKER_10: See, I didn't really know you at all.
31:40
SPEAKER_10: And and I just remember looking up, and I was just like, and then you were sitting on the edge of your desk, and then you just kind of look back at me, and you're just like, you're or this is how you were just kind of like, then you went like that.
31:54
SPEAKER_10: And I was just like, okay, that's that's kind of a weird smile.
31:57
SPEAKER_10: What the fuck?
31:58
SPEAKER_10: I hate him.
31:59
SPEAKER_10: And then yeah, it looked like you were nervous as fuck, like, oh shit, I made eye contact.
32:04
SPEAKER_10: Uh-oh, I smiled, uh-oh, I better get out of here.
32:07
SPEAKER_10: I don't know.
32:07
SPEAKER_10: I didn't and then I remembered, I was just like, did I scare that kid?
32:11
SPEAKER_10: Did I scare him?
32:12
SPEAKER_10: But but I remember you, and I was just like, maybe he was just being nice, and then it stuck with me for the rest of my days.
32:20
SPEAKER_10: Let's go, let's shoot maybe six years later.
32:24
SPEAKER_10: It it maybe the year was 2014.
32:28
SPEAKER_10: Somebody looked at me and I've made eye contact with them, and I thought of you.
32:32
SPEAKER_10: Isn't that weird?
32:34
SPEAKER_10: You never would have think the people that that you've come in contact with over the years, you never would have thought Ryan was thinking of you in like 2014.
32:43
SPEAKER_01: I sneezed into uh uh probably.
32:46
SPEAKER_10: I remember that sneeze, it was a powerful sneeze, and I'm like, where'd that come from?
32:49
SPEAKER_11: What the fuck's thinking about?
32:52
SPEAKER_10: But yes, and I thought maybe I should just smile and see what they say.
32:56
SPEAKER_10: And I looked and I smiled, and then they smiled back, and then I began to spread kindness.
33:01
SPEAKER_10: And it well, I you know, I just thought of it as like kindness, you know?
33:05
SPEAKER_01: If we're talking about like, and I think I might have talked at another podcast about this, it was like, you know, going through elementary school, middle school, high high school wasn't too too bad, like maybe when we first started in high school, but you know everyone talks about racism and all of this terrible stuff in the world.
33:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, not one person that I've met out in the world up until recently, not one person, not any experience, not one of them hated me for just being me.
33:41
SPEAKER_01: The only time I have ever experienced that elementary school.
33:47
SPEAKER_01: What?
33:47
SPEAKER_01: Junior high school, high school.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: Oh shit, okay.
33:51
SPEAKER_01: More people, and these are other Native Americans, other Nabos.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't white people, it wasn't, you know, African Americans, and it wasn't Latino, it wasn't, you know, Asian Americans, it wasn't anyone else other than other Navajos.
34:05
SPEAKER_01: It'd be like that.
34:06
SPEAKER_01: They were the ones who made it so fucking terrible for me.
34:10
SPEAKER_01: There was days when I remember I would wake up and like, I do not want to go to school because I don't want to get bullied, ridiculed, called.
34:16
SPEAKER_01: Can we say explicit things?
34:18
SPEAKER_11: Yeah.
34:18
SPEAKER_11: Say explicit hell shit.
34:20
SPEAKER_11: Fuck, fart, damn it.
34:22
SPEAKER_11: Go ahead.
34:23
SPEAKER_01: I you threw off my mojo.
34:29
SPEAKER_01: Go ahead.
34:30
SPEAKER_01: Go ahead.
34:31
SPEAKER_01: Let me get back into this.
34:32
SPEAKER_01: Let me get to let me get the the Let me hear the explicit shit.
34:35
SPEAKER_01: Let me let me get the dramatic uh tone again.
34:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be like beep, beep, beep, beep.
34:41
SPEAKER_01: We need some backtracking some uh some Han Zimmerman's.
34:44
SPEAKER_10: If I had my Wi-Fi on, I would.
34:46
SPEAKER_10: My Wi-Fi is off right now.
34:48
SPEAKER_10: I have that's what the iPad was for.
34:49
SPEAKER_11: I had little tones and beep, beep, beep and audience applause and all kinds of fun shit.
34:54
SPEAKER_11: But no, no, no.
34:55
SPEAKER_01: Go ahead.
34:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I like that.
34:56
SPEAKER_01: Um we should have an audience applause.
34:58
SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, so it wasn't anybody else that gave me shit other than other Navajos, right?
35:04
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
35:05
SPEAKER_01: It was Navajos that called me a fag.
35:07
SPEAKER_01: It was Navajos that called me, you know, faggot, worthless, and every other horrible thing.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: He she's it was every one of those growing up as a kid.
35:20
SPEAKER_01: And I remember there's like a few people that I that do stick out, right?
35:23
SPEAKER_01: That were, and I think and I think I might have told some of this.
35:26
SPEAKER_01: Um they never they were always part of like the popular group, right?
35:31
SPEAKER_01: Of people.
35:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and we they were always cool with me in private, but when it came to their friends, you know, saying shit to me, they sat quiet.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: But then, you know, like I understood their position.
35:45
SPEAKER_01: Like as a kid, like even as a kid at that time, I still understood that, you know, I'm not gonna fault you for it.
35:51
SPEAKER_01: I get that these You're trying to be cool.
35:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're you're still where you are with because you know, and I and I get that.
35:56
SPEAKER_01: I didn't fault them for it.
35:57
SPEAKER_01: And I even to this day, and even when I see some of these people, like I'm like, hey, like I remember that you were always nice to me and you never said any of this stuff.
36:07
SPEAKER_01: But when I do see like a lot of people that would call me that did call me all these horrible things growing up, and I see that they've died a horrible accident, a car accident, or they're drunks or whatever.
36:19
SPEAKER_01: There I'm human.
36:22
SPEAKER_01: There's a part of me that says good, yeah, good on fucking you.
36:28
SPEAKER_01: You had it fucking coming.
36:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:30
SPEAKER_01: And the moment that I hear, and this has happened twice when you did die, and your family said, Oh, they were such a good person, they lit up every fucking room that they went into.
36:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm sitting there thinking, no, this fuck made my whole fucking childhood so fucking terrible, yeah, even to this day, unrepentant of it, even to this day, never acknowledged it.
36:57
SPEAKER_01: And some of these people have kids these days.
36:59
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you know what?
37:01
SPEAKER_01: I do hope some of your kids go through the exact shit that you put me to.
37:06
SPEAKER_01: I feel yeah, the exact shit because you know what?
37:10
SPEAKER_01: I think, you know, as shitty as it may have been that I went through all of the bullshit growing up on, you know, through Navajo school systems, I wouldn't be who I am.
37:20
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't have two law degrees, I wouldn't have gone through all of the bullshit to be where I am right now and to try and be a good person.
37:27
SPEAKER_01: I'm not a good person.
37:28
SPEAKER_01: I try to be, right?
37:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we all are.
37:31
SPEAKER_01: If you're honest, if you're honest, you can say that about yourself.
37:35
SPEAKER_01: Honestly, I'm not gonna stay here and say that.
37:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm not gonna stay here and be like, oh, I'm a good person.
37:38
SPEAKER_01: No, yeah, there are things that I'm like, well shit.
37:41
SPEAKER_01: Not proud of.
37:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
37:42
SPEAKER_01: Like, well shit, Lincoln, maybe you shouldn't have done that.
37:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I have to be accountable.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: I'm acknowledging it, and I'm like, okay, I were self-reflect, and a lot of people don't even do that.
37:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:50
SPEAKER_01: But like when I see like a lot of these people, then they they act like, no, I don't remember that.
37:55
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, my god.
37:57
SPEAKER_10: Bullshit.
37:58
SPEAKER_10: Yes, you do.
37:58
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, so uh the I I think it was like episode fuck on this podcast.
38:04
SPEAKER_10: It was like maybe episode five or six, seven.
38:09
SPEAKER_10: I brought up the fact that I did bully people.
38:12
SPEAKER_10: You know, I owned up and I'm accountable.
38:14
SPEAKER_10: Like, I I bullied people.
38:16
SPEAKER_10: I was mean, but I only bullied probably like two people.
38:20
SPEAKER_10: You never bullied me.
38:21
SPEAKER_10: No, no, no, no.
38:22
SPEAKER_01: No, you never bullied me.
38:24
SPEAKER_10: No, I didn't see a reason to bully you.
38:26
SPEAKER_01: I have a shit list.
38:27
SPEAKER_01: Like, I like I'm good at faces and and things that you've done to me in my past.
38:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I have a fucking cathedral of names and faces of every fucking thing people have done to me.
38:37
SPEAKER_09: A shit list.
38:38
SPEAKER_10: Yes, and yeah, uh I was like, you know, I am so grateful at the fact that in when when social media started coming out, you know, we are old enough to have lived through social media rising.
38:53
SPEAKER_11: We got through it, you know.
38:55
SPEAKER_10: But um bring back MySpace.
38:56
SPEAKER_10: Yes, MySpace.
38:57
SPEAKER_10: There we go.
38:58
SPEAKER_10: Um, that the people, the kids that I bullied, they still wanted something to do with me.
39:05
SPEAKER_10: Maybe they wanted to kill me, maybe wanted to die.
39:07
SPEAKER_10: But like I eventually reached out and said, Hey, um, happy birthday.
39:14
SPEAKER_10: I just want to tell you happy birthday.
39:16
SPEAKER_10: And you know, all this.
39:17
SPEAKER_10: And I think that meant a lot to them.
39:18
SPEAKER_10: And they started saying happy birthday to me, and saying their blessings to me, and saying this and that, and like it made me feel like a really shitty person finally acknowledging that like I wasn't nice.
39:31
SPEAKER_10: But I was you know, I I always acknowledged it growing up.
39:35
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, like hey, I I was a shitty person to you, I shouldn't have fucking done that.
39:39
SPEAKER_10: I was going through a lot of shit, and it's not a good excuse.
39:43
SPEAKER_10: But that was fucking mean, you know.
39:45
SPEAKER_10: I and I'm so thankful that the fact that the person I bullied the most um I'm just gonna fucking say his name.
39:56
SPEAKER_10: Darren Jim.
39:57
SPEAKER_10: Do you remember Darren Jim?
39:59
SPEAKER_10: I guess I do.
40:01
SPEAKER_10: I fucking bullied the shit out of that kid.
40:04
SPEAKER_10: Second grade going into fucking.
40:06
SPEAKER_10: He probably won't remember me, but I remember him.
40:09
SPEAKER_10: Yes.
40:10
SPEAKER_01: I I bullied the fuck out of that kid.
40:12
SPEAKER_01: Let me just say real quick.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: I envy the people I envy your victims that they got that kind of like reconcili.
40:18
SPEAKER_01: I don't mean to say it's reconciliate, that acknowledgement, right?
40:21
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
40:22
SPEAKER_01: I never got that.
40:23
SPEAKER_01: Not to this day.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: Countless people from different schools.
40:27
SPEAKER_01: I can remember their faces.
40:28
SPEAKER_01: I can some of them I I I've I've you know, like I can see the hate in your eyes.
40:40
SPEAKER_01: It's it's not even well, yeah.
40:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm human.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: It is, it is, it's there.
40:46
SPEAKER_01: You're allowed to feel what you feel.
40:47
SPEAKER_01: It well well, yeah, and you know, I I understand, like good on you.
40:53
SPEAKER_10: Good on you.
40:54
SPEAKER_10: I am I am thankful for that because you know, he still sends me birthday wishes.
40:58
SPEAKER_10: Uh, he likes my statuses every now and then, and you know, he posts what he's doing in life, and I like his stuff.
41:04
SPEAKER_10: I'm like, hey, I'm glad you're doing good.
41:06
SPEAKER_10: It's good to see you, old man.
41:08
SPEAKER_10: And he's like, hey, you know, we're good, we're good, and I'm happy, you know.
41:12
SPEAKER_10: It's it's probably like that Billy Madison moment.
41:14
SPEAKER_10: You ever seen Billy Madison?
41:15
SPEAKER_10: Remember, he has that list that says people to kill people.
41:22
SPEAKER_01: Cross my name off, you know.
41:23
SPEAKER_10: I think I'm fucking happy.
41:24
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
41:25
SPEAKER_01: I mean, yeah, I think it's I think that's a perfect way to do it.
41:27
SPEAKER_01: Me, like, I don't know.
41:29
SPEAKER_01: I just I because that I mean it it it uh it doesn't bother me.
41:35
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it well, I don't want to say it doesn't not bother me, but it when I do think about it, it does bother me because you know there's still you know, I do will sometimes come across their page and I'm like, oh, let's just take a gander.
41:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I do that too.
41:49
SPEAKER_01: And then like I'm looking, and this person's got like three kids.
41:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love my son and daughter, and I'm like, I hope I hope someone calls your son exactly every fucking faggot fucking word, verbatim, with with the amount of conviction and the tone that they said to me to your child.
42:09
SPEAKER_10: It's karma.
42:09
SPEAKER_10: I've I am a strong believer in karma.
42:12
SPEAKER_10: I know karma fucking happens to me.
42:14
SPEAKER_10: You know, okay, okay, okay, okay.
42:18
SPEAKER_10: So when I first started believing in karma, like fucking karma is real.
42:23
SPEAKER_10: Remember, so let's go back to high school.
42:25
SPEAKER_10: Let's go back to the beginning of the podcast.
42:26
SPEAKER_10: I told you in high school, I was a fucking asshole.
42:29
SPEAKER_10: I was a little I was a chomp money.
42:31
SPEAKER_10: Just fucking full on.
42:32
SPEAKER_10: Just fuck this guy.
42:34
SPEAKER_10: And um, I remember driving uh I was in a car with my buddies.
42:41
SPEAKER_10: I had Route 44 Sonic drinks.
42:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm just thinking, maybe I did look at you and I got scared because you looked at me like this or something.
42:47
SPEAKER_01: And I looked away, I just looked up.
42:49
SPEAKER_10: No, you were like, hmm, and then you just like oh he's looking at me, smile, then you look away all awkward.
42:54
SPEAKER_11: I'm just like, the fuck was that look?
42:56
SPEAKER_01: Because I was I was friends, I I I don't want to say I was friends, but I was acquaintances with people that you hung out with.
43:01
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, like maybe I did thought like the mysteriousness of you was like, oh, cool, you look like a cool person, and you just keep you were like you looked all shocked, but anyways, yeah, go back to yours.
43:15
SPEAKER_10: I'm sorry.
43:16
SPEAKER_10: But oh, back to the car.
43:18
SPEAKER_10: I was driving by some uh I don't know a better word.
43:23
SPEAKER_10: I'm just gonna say glonnies.
43:25
SPEAKER_10: We were driving by some glonnies, yeah, and I had a Route 44 drink in my hand.
43:29
SPEAKER_10: It was a hot day, and they were standing outside of Penzoil in Shiprock.
43:33
SPEAKER_10: We just left Ship uh Sonic driving by.
43:36
SPEAKER_10: There's a Penzoil right next door.
43:37
SPEAKER_10: What did you do?
43:38
SPEAKER_10: And I looked at them with my Route 44 drink and I said, Ha ha.
43:43
SPEAKER_10: And I kept driving.
43:45
SPEAKER_10: I'm sorry.
43:46
SPEAKER_11: That exact fucking moment.
43:50
SPEAKER_10: The one important thing I lost was my cell phone.
43:55
SPEAKER_01: I well, so okay, okay.
43:58
SPEAKER_01: This might be a backwards way of Karma.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: Anytime I helped any Glani in Shiprock, whether it was giving him a dollar, giving him a ride, giving him some food, I either got into an accident or something terrible happened afterwards.
44:12
SPEAKER_06: But it's vice versa, though.
44:13
SPEAKER_01: No, I got I'm just like, that's why I don't help any glonnies anymore.
44:17
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no, I no.
44:18
SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, now that I'm a witch, you know, you can't witch other witches, so I'm protected that way.
44:25
SPEAKER_07: Is that how that works?
44:27
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's supposed to be a cardinal rule, but these days anything goes.
44:32
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
44:32
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
44:33
SPEAKER_01: But it was just one of those things I was like, you know what?
44:35
SPEAKER_01: I remember because I remember the m- Oh, I know, I think of what it was.
44:39
SPEAKER_01: I think I helped someone, I think I bought him food, and I was, I felt so good.
44:43
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I've done my godly duty.
44:45
SPEAKER_01: I've done something good today.
44:47
SPEAKER_01: I started driving across the bridge, and then sure enough, one of the PD lights me up.
44:51
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
44:52
SPEAKER_01: Your lights are out.
44:52
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, so she cites me, anyways.
44:56
SPEAKER_01: I just said somebody.
44:58
SPEAKER_01: I just did something good.
45:00
SPEAKER_01: I was like, did you do today?
45:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, except pull me, pull over, you know, an 18-year-old on the side of the road for feeding some homeless bum.
45:09
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, whatever.
45:11
SPEAKER_01: So I I've stopped helping the helping glonnies.
45:16
SPEAKER_01: I can't anymore.
45:17
SPEAKER_01: I just I just can't suffer that bad karma.
45:19
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
45:20
SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm not supposed to help them.
45:22
SPEAKER_10: There was another one.
45:24
SPEAKER_10: Um, the same thing.
45:26
SPEAKER_10: I f I fucked with some glonnies when I feel like I shouldn't have.
45:31
SPEAKER_10: And then I remember crashing my mom's car.
45:34
SPEAKER_10: The same, like within the same 30 minutes.
45:37
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, I shouldn't have fucked with those glanes.
45:40
SPEAKER_10: It's it and I was just like, that's karma.
45:42
SPEAKER_10: That's I didn't crash my mom's cart.
45:45
SPEAKER_10: I just like bumped the dump the bumped the bumper.
45:48
SPEAKER_10: Bump.
45:49
SPEAKER_10: Bumped the bumper.
45:50
SPEAKER_01: You bumped the bumper.
45:52
SPEAKER_01: Bumped in the bumper.
45:53
SPEAKER_10: Yes.
45:54
SPEAKER_10: And I made a large crack in the bumper of my mom's car because I don't know.
45:59
SPEAKER_10: I I it stuck with me for a long time.
46:01
SPEAKER_10: I can't think of it right now.
46:02
SPEAKER_10: You should have just said you skateboarded right into the back of the bumper.
46:05
SPEAKER_10: I wish I could skateboard.
46:06
SPEAKER_10: Oh, I can't skateboard.
46:08
SPEAKER_10: That's why I went to the bumper.
46:10
SPEAKER_01: You should have said someone skated boarded right into the back of the bumper.
46:13
SPEAKER_01: No, I I I think, you know, I mean, I I get yeah, I think I think that there is a universal, call it karma, whatever it is.
46:21
SPEAKER_01: We all just don't deny it doesn't exist, right?
46:23
SPEAKER_01: It it exists.
46:25
SPEAKER_01: That you do get back what what you put out there.
46:28
SPEAKER_01: Me, you know, being a witch, you know, I sometimes I need to to push things along, right?
46:32
SPEAKER_01: I just need a lock of your hair, which I got when I touched your hair.
46:35
SPEAKER_11: Oh shit! It was a puppy tail.
46:38
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's a wig.
46:39
SPEAKER_01: I'm kidding.
46:40
SPEAKER_04: It's just, you know, um, it's just, you know, for me, like sometimes I'm like, you know what?
46:45
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes and again I I already said this.
46:48
SPEAKER_01: When I hear people that have gone through a tragedy or done something, and I knew that they were terrible to me growing up, and oh yeah, they acted like they were the saints of the world, and I hear that their parents were like, they were such a good person.
47:01
SPEAKER_01: Fuck no.
47:01
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, to who?
47:05
SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, and I'm like, for me, it screwed up my childhood.
47:10
SPEAKER_01: No wonder why me almost being 40 years old, I still like things that I like as a kid.
47:17
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I as a 40-year-old, you shouldn't, you know, still play with Legos, but I'm here I am.
47:22
SPEAKER_11: Fuck no! You play with those Legos!
47:23
SPEAKER_01: Here I am you nerd out.
47:24
SPEAKER_01: Going every time I'm traveling at an airport and I see a Lego store, I'm like, I'm going into that store.
47:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, dude.
47:29
SPEAKER_06: You can't let stuff like that go.
47:33
SPEAKER_06: Look at my house.
47:33
SPEAKER_01: Because we're just looking at my mouse.
47:35
SPEAKER_01: Because because as because as a kid, I I felt like I was always bullied for liking those things, for just you know, shamed for even that.
47:42
SPEAKER_10: That's why people get scared.
47:44
SPEAKER_10: That's why people I I we brought this up so many times on the podcast.
47:48
SPEAKER_10: Like, if you like what you like, fucking like it.
47:51
SPEAKER_10: There's a lot of people in here in the music scene, in like the metal scene, they're scene like like like wear all dark clothes and metal shirts, and they're just like, oh, you like Pokemon?
48:02
SPEAKER_10: That's fucking cool.
48:03
SPEAKER_10: You like Star Wars?
48:04
SPEAKER_10: Fuck yeah.
48:05
SPEAKER_10: You love Star Wars, you like this, you like that.
48:08
SPEAKER_10: That's fucking cool.
48:09
SPEAKER_10: That's where people really relate.
48:10
SPEAKER_10: That's where people really connect.
48:12
SPEAKER_10: It's those childhood things.
48:13
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
48:14
SPEAKER_10: Like we're forced to grow up out of that.
48:16
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
48:17
SPEAKER_10: Or, or it's what's what's society say?
48:20
SPEAKER_10: Where there's like, oh, you like that, you're a nerd.
48:22
SPEAKER_10: Oh, you like that, you're a dork.
48:24
SPEAKER_10: You know, it's like, fuck you.
48:26
SPEAKER_01: Anytime I see those videos on like on TikTok of like those 90s nostalgia videos, and like, oh you wake, you just woke up, you know, yeah.
48:33
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, kids giggling.
48:36
SPEAKER_07: It did, it it it's but I like them.
48:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it I hate it too because it feels like it's like a it's like a window of something that you can I mean, of course you can never go back.
48:46
SPEAKER_01: Well, you maybe you can't maybe what I think of that all the time.
48:50
SPEAKER_01: You can never go back.
48:51
SPEAKER_01: There's just there's two thoughts of this.
48:54
SPEAKER_01: Yes, the 90s things, the 90s nostalgia videos always get me because yes, it did feel safe.
48:59
SPEAKER_01: Yes, things were simpler back then.
49:00
SPEAKER_01: Yes, you didn't know how easy you had it.
49:03
SPEAKER_01: And my childhood, for some reason, you know when you're full of beer, you just start breathing hard, and you can hear it in your head, and you just feel fat because I'm just sitting down like anyways, off topic.
49:25
SPEAKER_10: You don't even want to hear any of that.
49:26
SPEAKER_10: You hear it, even when people aren't even gonna.
49:30
SPEAKER_10: But yeah, we were talking about those 90s videos on TikTok.
49:34
SPEAKER_01: Every time I go to every time I go to a crumbled cookie, I just hear that was my experience.
49:43
SPEAKER_10: Every time somebody's dad was getting into a truck and you're like in the passenger seat, and they're like, Do that now?
49:53
SPEAKER_04: What are you doing?
49:55
SPEAKER_04: Every time I go feed the dog, they come inside and I sit down and like no, never mind.
50:02
SPEAKER_10: I will I was gonna say I haven't gotten to that point.
50:05
SPEAKER_10: Sorry, I can't really, but no, no, no, no, no.
50:08
SPEAKER_01: I I have I'm like winded every time I get up like three flights of stairs.
50:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, I need a cigarette I can't breathe.
50:14
SPEAKER_10: Where the fuck I was at and that happened.
50:16
SPEAKER_10: I was like, holy shit, I can hear myself breathing.
50:19
SPEAKER_10: That's disgusting.
50:21
SPEAKER_10: I had I uh I I actually uh I had my first cigarette today in almost a year.
50:32
SPEAKER_10: Just because somebody was like, cigarette, anybody want a cigarette?
50:35
SPEAKER_10: Want a cigarette?
50:36
SPEAKER_10: And they were like, I'll take one, I'll take one.
50:38
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, three-day weekend, it's Friday.
50:42
SPEAKER_10: Fuck it, give me one.
50:43
SPEAKER_10: And I and I had a cigarette.
50:45
SPEAKER_10: And remember we were talking and we were uh what did we bring up?
50:48
SPEAKER_10: Like, oh, and then they're just like, uh, what do we say?
50:51
SPEAKER_10: Cocaine, meth heads or some shit.
50:53
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, right when I was like, this is my first cigarette in a long time.
50:57
SPEAKER_10: The guy who took a cigarette next to me was literally like, oh, dude, do you do shrooms?
51:02
SPEAKER_10: Because over here at this thing, they got shroom cookies, and they give you the psychedelic like crazy if you're into that.
51:08
SPEAKER_10: I'm like, it's just a fucking cigarette, dude.
51:10
SPEAKER_10: I didn't want to do any of that.
51:12
SPEAKER_01: Menthol was pushing it, you know.
51:15
SPEAKER_01: It was those uh camel crush menthols.
51:17
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
51:17
SPEAKER_01: See, see you popped the little buttons.
51:19
SPEAKER_01: I like menthols.
51:20
SPEAKER_01: I do like menthols.
51:21
SPEAKER_01: I like I like crystallizing my lungs.
51:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:24
SPEAKER_01: When everyone's like, do you want some do you want a native?
51:27
SPEAKER_01: That's all I have.
51:27
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, I want menthols.
51:29
SPEAKER_01: I need the things that that crystallize my lungs.
51:33
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, it's it's it's been a good moment.
51:36
SPEAKER_10: When I when I turned 18 back, it was 18 to buy cigarettes.
51:40
SPEAKER_10: Now it's 21.
51:41
SPEAKER_10: Um, is it really?
51:42
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, it's 21 now to buy cigarettes.
51:44
SPEAKER_10: Isn't that crazy?
51:46
SPEAKER_10: I mean, I guess I support it.
51:48
SPEAKER_10: I guess.
51:49
SPEAKER_10: But then nobody's really buying cigarettes.
51:51
SPEAKER_10: Everybody's all about vapes.
51:53
SPEAKER_10: My boss is vapes.
51:55
SPEAKER_10: But I mean, the tobacco company's still thriving.
51:57
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
51:58
SPEAKER_10: They're like$12 for a pack of cigarettes.
52:00
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
52:01
SPEAKER_10: When I was 18 and I was buying cigarettes, they were like six bucks.
52:05
SPEAKER_10: Now they're 12.
52:06
SPEAKER_10: They're double.
52:07
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
52:08
SPEAKER_10: But anyways.
52:09
SPEAKER_10: What the fuck was I saying?
52:10
SPEAKER_01: You're talking about 90s.
52:11
SPEAKER_10: No, we were talking about that in 90s videos.
52:13
SPEAKER_10: Oh, those 90s videos.
52:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the 90s and nostalgia videos.
52:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
52:17
SPEAKER_01: Every little kid's giggling.
52:19
SPEAKER_01: Yes, every time I go to those and I see it, like it's nice because it it does really pull you back into the past, right?
52:26
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
52:26
SPEAKER_01: Oh, now I know where there's this 90s thing and the time travel thing.
52:30
SPEAKER_01: So let's do this.
52:32
SPEAKER_01: The 90s thing.
52:33
SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's yes, it does pull you back into the past.
52:36
SPEAKER_01: It does make it feel like it was warm, it was safe, and life was simple back then.
52:42
SPEAKER_01: I love it, right?
52:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
52:44
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of it, there's this one video I came across recently, and it shows like all of like the Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network characters all of us sleeping in like a big living room.
52:54
SPEAKER_01: And you know, when I die, you know, I'm I have my beliefs, but you know, my hope is also I get to make a pit stop on that, you know, journey, and I can go back to that room and wake everybody up, and I can just live in that moment just for one time.
53:12
SPEAKER_10: Everybody's got their perfect moment.
53:14
SPEAKER_10: Yes, everybody's got their perfect moment now.
53:16
SPEAKER_01: Because because no, because no one, not one person in our generation when we were growing up ever said or warned us that what we were gonna be living and going into the next generation would be this a generation where we're so connected that privacy is very de minimis, right?
53:36
SPEAKER_01: It's so minimal.
53:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that everything else would be so connected that things for some reason would never feel as soft and warm as it used to be.
53:46
SPEAKER_01: For some reason, no one ever warned us.
53:48
SPEAKER_01: We were just somehow just pushed into it.
53:51
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to say even pushed, we just somehow walked over that threshold, and here we are, longing for something that can never exist again.
53:59
SPEAKER_01: Which brings me to the whole time travel thing.
54:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
54:03
SPEAKER_01: I once heard, you know, you know, time relativity, right?
54:07
SPEAKER_11: Yeah, pretty funny.
54:08
SPEAKER_01: I think it was Einstein's uh uh theory on relativity.
54:11
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
54:11
SPEAKER_01: You know, that movie, what's that movie?
54:13
SPEAKER_01: Uh Interstellar.
54:14
SPEAKER_01: Interstellar.
54:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was about to bring that up.
54:15
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
54:16
SPEAKER_01: The further you go as far as gravitational force, it there's like a time dilation, right?
54:22
SPEAKER_01: Things so that same concept.
54:26
SPEAKER_01: Here's where this this this fucked me up.
54:29
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have a swig.
54:30
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have a swig of the sword.
54:31
SPEAKER_01: I definitely hear you time trap.
54:33
SPEAKER_01: I think about a lot of that shit.
54:34
SPEAKER_01: Okay, go ahead.
54:35
SPEAKER_01: Go ahead.
54:35
SPEAKER_01: This fucking this lady, and I whether it might have been AI or not, but she was talking about, she was giving a speech saying, um, one of them, I think one might have been Einstein's friend or someone's friend, said that they just died.
54:51
SPEAKER_01: And he said he, and everyone was like, Why aren't you sad about it?
54:54
SPEAKER_01: And he says, something to the effect of time is relative.
54:58
SPEAKER_01: My friend really isn't dead, he's just over the horizon.
55:02
SPEAKER_01: And what he meant by, and this lady explained it, is you know, time as a stream, like if we think we will we we've just been talking about high school, right?
55:12
SPEAKER_01: We can only think back on it in this current existence of me and you talking about it, we can only think back to those memories.
55:19
SPEAKER_01: Okay, for someone who is maybe a billion miles away watching the world right now and seeing it, right?
55:30
SPEAKER_01: They're probably watching me sitting at the corner of that table looking at you right now.
55:38
SPEAKER_01: Oh shit.
55:39
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
55:40
SPEAKER_01: At the same time, that person can see us talking to each other.
55:45
SPEAKER_01: Like what, 30 years later?
55:46
SPEAKER_01: Right now.
55:47
SPEAKER_01: Holy shit.
55:48
SPEAKER_01: And the and the this is what really fucked me up is like she said he's not really dead.
55:55
SPEAKER_01: He's just over the horizon because time is relative.
55:59
SPEAKER_01: So if someone died, you know, God forbid I die tonight, right?
56:04
SPEAKER_01: Leaving after this podcast is done, and the person who's watching the world and time as it goes can still see me and you talking right now while at the same time watch, just watch or still watching me look at you play a guitar and you give me a dirty look in high school.
56:21
SPEAKER_11: I didn't give you a dirty look though.
56:23
SPEAKER_01: But anyways, anyways, okay and then seeing me take my last breath.
56:27
SPEAKER_01: That person who may not even be supernatural, maybe it could just be a regular organism like us, right?
56:34
SPEAKER_01: But because they're situated in a different position from us, they see time, they see perception differently than us.
56:43
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and that's what screwed me up.
56:45
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, because you know, I my dad was killed in 20 um uh 11.
56:53
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, excuse me.
56:54
SPEAKER_01: Like 13.
56:55
SPEAKER_01: 2011.
56:56
SPEAKER_01: Sorry for your loss, and that made more sense to me is like because time continuously is unraveling as we are living right now, yeah.
57:07
SPEAKER_01: What had already occurred is still traveling through time, still traveling through space, and the person who's you know on some random planet far away from us is still seeing my dad and me alive right now.
57:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's when I'm like, that makes sense.
57:26
SPEAKER_01: It screws with me.
57:27
SPEAKER_01: I do not like it, but it makes sense.
57:30
SPEAKER_01: Yes, you know, when like when they're like you said, oh, you're looking back in time and you see a star, that star's probably gone.
57:35
SPEAKER_01: True.
57:36
SPEAKER_01: Honestly, we are probably doing the same exact thing.
57:39
SPEAKER_01: We're watching life of a star, whatever the star is doing.
57:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, you know, we're watching it right now, but it's already dead, or whatever it may be.
57:50
SPEAKER_10: They say that, yeah.
57:51
SPEAKER_10: The stars you're looking at now out there that whole relatively dead.
57:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's the whole relativity of time relativity.
57:56
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, okay, that does make sense, but at the same time, I don't like that.
58:00
SPEAKER_01: Like, how can I how can I circumvent that to get back to where you're seeing it, to get back to where I can go back to that special place?
58:08
SPEAKER_10: Oh my god.
58:09
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, those are some late night thoughts where you're thinking there and you're up to like three in the morning, like, what the fuck is even this?
58:16
SPEAKER_10: You know, they they said that they were like, if you if if aliens came to the earth right now and they said, We'll take you across the galaxy right now, and you'll get to see everything, nobody else gets to see.
58:27
SPEAKER_10: But the only thing is it's gonna cost um about maybe 18 years of your life and time here, 18 years is gonna go by the time we come back, it'll feel like maybe an hour.
58:39
SPEAKER_10: But when we come back, it'll be like 18 years have passed.
58:43
SPEAKER_10: You would have lost everything, everybody you've ever known would have been like moved on.
58:47
SPEAKER_10: Even a lifetime, yes, yeah, even a lifetime itself.
58:50
SPEAKER_10: Like, would you trade your whole life to for one hour to go see the entire galaxy and other universes and come back?
58:56
SPEAKER_10: And it's like everyone else here just moved on without you.
58:59
SPEAKER_01: And I think it goes to the whole deeper question of like how much truth and knowledge would you actually sacrifice to actually know something rather than enjoy your actual life.
59:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah! Right?
59:09
SPEAKER_01: Because like for me, like you know, knowing what I know now these days, I always tell people protect your peace.
59:17
SPEAKER_01: Protect the thing that keeps you you, right?
59:20
SPEAKER_01: Because I mean I think it was like just last week.
59:25
SPEAKER_01: Um, someone I knew just recently passed, and you know, they're expected to live, but they were expected to live a long life.
59:31
SPEAKER_01: They were healthy.
59:32
SPEAKER_01: And it just it it anytime a family member of mine dies, my dad, my brother, you know, anytime these things had happened, I always think about like what were what did they think their life would have been, should have been.
59:47
SPEAKER_01: What did they think?
59:48
SPEAKER_01: I can guarantee you they did not think that they would die.
59:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
59:53
SPEAKER_01: And every time I tell people, I'm like, you could be dying.
59:56
SPEAKER_01: I I myself could be leaving here and driving back home and just, you know, get hit by some stupid idiot, or you know, God forbid anything else happened.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_10: I could have a fucking aneurysm after you leave.
1:00:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, it might take a couple of days to someone to find you, but no, exactly, right?
1:00:12
SPEAKER_07: I've been in here for fucking days.
1:00:14
SPEAKER_07: Nope, my phone dry as fuck, bro.
1:00:16
SPEAKER_01: Your neighbor's like, that house smells.
1:00:20
SPEAKER_10: They gotta do more than that.
1:00:22
SPEAKER_10: They already know my house smells.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_06: Look at my fucking couch.
1:00:25
SPEAKER_01: The house smells for some reason.
1:00:28
SPEAKER_01: More than you, you know.
1:00:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
1:00:30
SPEAKER_01: No, it w it it was one of those things is like, you know, you could die at any moment.
1:00:35
SPEAKER_01: And I know and here's the thing is that again, it goes back to like I pretend like, yeah, I'm a witch, so I know these things.
1:00:42
SPEAKER_01: The truth is I don't know these things, but I can take a best guess, and I'm typically good at those, is that in the last moments of you clinging to life, I can guarantee even to the listeners right now, every one of you, there's gonna be a feeling of such desperation and anger and scaredness and of all of those things.
1:01:04
SPEAKER_01: But the one thing that will come up is regret.
1:01:08
SPEAKER_01: I should have done this, I should have said this.
1:01:12
SPEAKER_01: Why didn't I do this?
1:01:14
SPEAKER_01: Why didn't I just fucking say it?
1:01:16
SPEAKER_01: It was so simple.
1:01:18
SPEAKER_01: But in that moment when you are leaving this this coil, right?
1:01:24
SPEAKER_01: It's done.
1:01:25
SPEAKER_10: Your seven minutes, isn't that what they call your seven minutes?
1:01:28
SPEAKER_01: Whatever it may be.
1:01:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's what I always I've I've and I get, I it's not that I've seen it.
1:01:34
SPEAKER_01: It's well, I don't know.
1:01:35
SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't know.
1:01:37
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
1:01:38
SPEAKER_01: Touchy knee powers, you know.
1:01:40
SPEAKER_01: Who's touching me?
1:01:41
SPEAKER_01: Are you touching me?
1:01:42
SPEAKER_01: I am touching!
1:01:42
SPEAKER_11: Yay! I'm touching me too! Bro, cheers!
1:01:47
SPEAKER_01: We're touching it and touching me power, whatever it may be, right?
1:01:52
SPEAKER_01: It's I just know that crosses every person's mind that was that was in the last moments at the precipice of their life and death, yes, regret is one of those things.
1:02:03
SPEAKER_01: And that's what I've always told myself is like of all the things that I now know, of like, oh yeah, I want to go and help the people and serve the people.
1:02:12
SPEAKER_01: No, at this point in my life, I want to live my life as best and as fullest as I can because when I do die, and it could just be by design or by pure accident, whatever it may be, I want to go and lay on that bed on the side of the road, on the side of the pavement, whatever it may be, and have as little regret as possible because I do not want to be there rage-filled, thriving in such anger and regret and doubt as to I should have done all of these things, but I never did one fucking thing.
1:02:45
SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
1:02:46
SPEAKER_01: That's what I've always I've I've learned in the last what two, three years now.
1:02:50
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know what, I'm I'm not doing that anymore.
1:02:53
SPEAKER_01: If anything, no one takes any of it really seriously, anyways.
1:02:58
SPEAKER_01: The best thing you can do as far as living your life is actually feeling comfortable and okay that I actually lived a life that I feel like I worth it was worth living.
1:03:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:03:09
SPEAKER_01: I I met the people that I did, I had the experiences that I did, I met with the families and whatever it may be.
1:03:16
SPEAKER_01: I feel like it was worth living for me.
1:03:19
SPEAKER_10: And to be completely honest, I had a moment just like that in 2021, maybe 2020, middle of 2021, I'd say.
1:03:30
SPEAKER_10: I went through a breakup in 2020 and I moved out, became completely alone around November, got this place in November 2021.
1:03:39
SPEAKER_10: Or 2020.
1:03:40
SPEAKER_10: And I was just in a fucked up depressive place, very fucked up depressive place.
1:03:46
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
1:03:47
SPEAKER_10: And I remember it took my cousin dying for me to really open my eyes.
1:03:53
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
1:03:54
SPEAKER_10: And um uh this this is pretty deep, but I was drinking myself to shit.
1:04:02
SPEAKER_10: Like I was I I I got addicted to sky blood orange vodka.
1:04:07
SPEAKER_10: Have you ever had sky vodka?
1:04:09
SPEAKER_10: You know the blue vodka, the blue bottle?
1:04:11
SPEAKER_10: I'm a Tito's guy.
1:04:13
SPEAKER_10: I'm sorry.
1:04:13
SPEAKER_10: Oh, I'm a Tito's guy.
1:04:14
SPEAKER_10: But you are aware there is a vodka called Sky vodka.
1:04:18
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, that cheap stuff.
1:04:20
SPEAKER_10: That bottom of the barrel shit.
1:04:22
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, that clony shit.
1:04:23
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
1:04:23
SPEAKER_11: The stuff you want to kill yourself with.
1:04:24
SPEAKER_10: The so-called well drinks.
1:04:26
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, yeah.
1:04:27
SPEAKER_10: There was a flavor called Blood Orange, and I really got addicted to that.
1:04:31
SPEAKER_10: And um, like I was just downing vodka straight from the bottle, just gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp at a time.
1:04:41
SPEAKER_10: And I remember I woke up from like I don't know what day it was.
1:04:44
SPEAKER_10: I think it was a Thursday, and I got the whole vodka, and I didn't give a fuck.
1:04:50
SPEAKER_10: I just like, oh, then my hands and my arms just like buckled.
1:04:58
SPEAKER_10: They went up and they went and then my eyes looked up and I was looking at the ceiling, everything went blank, and I just remember I fell forward, boom, and I remember I landed on the floor, but my chin was on the ground, and I was like, this is it.
1:05:14
SPEAKER_10: I was like, And then I woke up and I was like what day is it?
1:05:23
SPEAKER_10: What the fuck?
1:05:24
SPEAKER_10: What the fuck?
1:05:25
SPEAKER_10: And I remember waking up completely and it was I think three days later.
1:05:31
SPEAKER_10: It was a Thursday, I woke up on a Monday.
1:05:34
SPEAKER_10: Jesus.
1:05:35
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
1:05:36
SPEAKER_10: I was out for that fucking long.
1:05:38
SPEAKER_10: I maybe I woke up, maybe I didn't, but I remember I I didn't give a fuck.
1:05:44
SPEAKER_10: I wanted to fucking die.
1:05:47
SPEAKER_10: And I used vodka to do it.
1:05:50
SPEAKER_10: But it didn't kill me.
1:05:52
SPEAKER_10: And then I was just like, oh well, cool.
1:05:54
SPEAKER_10: It didn't kill me, so I guess I know my alcohol tolerance.
1:05:58
SPEAKER_10: And then like a week later.
1:06:00
SPEAKER_10: My cousin died from drinking himself to death.
1:06:04
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, whoa.
1:06:06
SPEAKER_10: And the w the going to his funeral.
1:06:10
SPEAKER_10: I went to his funeral because I just talked to him like a week later and I didn't know he was going through that shit.
1:06:16
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
1:06:17
SPEAKER_10: Nobody knew I was going through shit.
1:06:20
SPEAKER_10: Everybody just saw the happy Ryan.
1:06:22
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
1:06:23
SPEAKER_10: And I didn't know he was going through so much shit.
1:06:26
SPEAKER_10: It's like what do they call it?
1:06:28
SPEAKER_10: The pebble.
1:06:29
SPEAKER_10: And then you throw it into the river and it goes.
1:06:33
SPEAKER_10: The amount of people that knew him never saw it fucking coming.
1:06:38
SPEAKER_10: And it's just like, whoa.
1:06:40
SPEAKER_10: And then it opened my eyes.
1:06:43
SPEAKER_10: And then I logged into like, whoa, I could fucking that could have been me.
1:06:49
SPEAKER_10: Like the amount of people.
1:06:50
SPEAKER_10: Like if you heard, if you heard my name pop up and you're just like, that guy died, he's dead, and you saw everybody sharing my post, you'd be like, oh yeah, I saw that guy.
1:06:59
SPEAKER_10: He he looked at me weird in high school.
1:07:03
SPEAKER_10: He gave me a go to hell look.
1:07:04
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, there's some kind of memory that triggers in your head, like, oh yeah, I remember that.
1:07:11
SPEAKER_10: Somewhere out there, you made an impact on somebody that would remember you.
1:07:16
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
1:07:17
SPEAKER_10: It's stuck in my head, and I was just like, holy fuck, I could fucking die any minute.
1:07:23
SPEAKER_10: And the amount of people who would remember me, who would think of me, because I in our class was at 2008.
1:07:32
SPEAKER_10: Our class of 2008, there have been suicides, there have been deaths, there have been car accidents, there have been accidents, everything.
1:07:43
SPEAKER_10: Giving even like females giving birth have died.
1:07:48
SPEAKER_10: And I knew those people.
1:07:49
SPEAKER_10: I knew all these people.
1:07:50
SPEAKER_10: And it's just like holy shit.
1:07:54
SPEAKER_10: Like these are people I grew up with.
1:07:56
SPEAKER_10: And I didn't know them personally.
1:07:58
SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
1:07:59
SPEAKER_10: I didn't know any of them personally.
1:08:01
SPEAKER_10: Like we weren't friends or anything, but I remember them.
1:08:03
SPEAKER_01: But I don't know why it bothered me so much.
1:08:05
SPEAKER_01: I think it's the fact that it was so close to you.
1:08:07
SPEAKER_01: It's part, it's part of it's part of what made makes you you, right?
1:08:11
SPEAKER_01: Your history as as as Ryan Cleveland, right?
1:08:15
SPEAKER_01: Like as as what you are, because it was so close to you.
1:08:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you hear about people dying all the time.
1:08:20
SPEAKER_01: You read about it all the time.
1:08:21
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, oh, yeah.
1:08:24
SPEAKER_01: Well, as a as a former prosecutor, you know, I've I've seen you know, but it's just you know, it's different when it's the person that it was so close to you that knew you.
1:08:36
SPEAKER_01: And even I can say this, you know, as a former prosecutor, seeing people that we grew up with going through crap, and it's like never ever did I ever think you would be going through what you're going through, dealing with what you're dealing with, dealing with that person because I knew you to be a strong woman, a strong man, whatever it was, right?
1:09:06
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and now I see you just completely defeated.
1:09:11
SPEAKER_01: And some of these people, I'm like, you know what?
1:09:13
SPEAKER_01: Like, I ooh, it's it's excuse me.
1:09:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I must name dropped, but that's fine.
1:09:19
SPEAKER_01: Don't worry.
1:09:20
SPEAKER_01: Well, I can't because don't worry.
1:09:22
SPEAKER_07: Ethically, I can't.
1:09:24
SPEAKER_07: You might name somebody died! I won!
1:09:28
SPEAKER_01: So don't so don't it's just it's just you know, it's just like I knew you.
1:09:32
SPEAKER_01: We were we're I we were we were good friends growing up, and then for for you to allow this to happen to you now, I'm like, you were you are not you were, you are stronger than what you are, you think you are right now.
1:09:46
SPEAKER_01: And for some reason, I don't understand why you are allowing this to happen to you.
1:09:52
SPEAKER_01: But I think that you know, for us these days, like we we lose our way sometimes, right?
1:09:58
SPEAKER_01: You know, I've had those moments of like maybe the world would maybe it's not even the world, maybe I'm just done.
1:10:04
SPEAKER_01: It's not even that like I'm I'm exhausted or or I'm just I don't want to be alive.
1:10:11
SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm just done.
1:10:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, existence itself.
1:10:16
SPEAKER_01: I've had those moments, right?
1:10:17
SPEAKER_01: Um suicidal ideations, right?
1:10:19
SPEAKER_01: I mean, uh I feel like a lot of people have.
1:10:23
SPEAKER_01: I spoke I just spoke to my counselor about this two days ago, and he's like, Well, what do you think about it?
1:10:27
SPEAKER_01: You ever think about hurting yourself?
1:10:28
SPEAKER_01: I have to lie to him.
1:10:29
SPEAKER_10: I'm like, no, but I'm like, doesn't everyone I know a guy?
1:10:34
SPEAKER_01: Doesn't everyone think about wanting to just end it all and be done with it?
1:10:37
SPEAKER_01: Or will every time I'm traveling across, you know, New Mexico, Arizona, wherever it may be, going 95 miles an hour on the interstate, and I'm like, you know what?
1:10:46
SPEAKER_01: I could be done with this.
1:10:47
SPEAKER_01: The debt, the bullshit, all of that.
1:10:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm insured my family will be okay.
1:10:54
SPEAKER_01: That median concrete wall looks really delicious right now.
1:10:59
SPEAKER_01: But it here's the thing, it's like, oh, I'm busy.
1:11:02
SPEAKER_01: I have I have a podcast to do tomorrow.
1:11:04
SPEAKER_01: I gotta be Brian's tomorrow.
1:11:06
SPEAKER_01: I you know, I have dinner plans tomorrow, like things like that, right?
1:11:10
SPEAKER_01: But you know, I I don't want to say I get it because everyone is different when it comes to those kinds of internal struggles, right?
1:11:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, but I mean, I I do think all life is perspective, and once you get that kind of perspective of like, holy shit, it is real.
1:11:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the moment you you take your last breath, there's no like take backs, there's no like, oh, just kidding.
1:11:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
1:11:34
SPEAKER_10: There's like, oh, I was just bluffing, yeah.
1:11:36
SPEAKER_10: Or maybe I'm not ready.
1:11:38
SPEAKER_01: You know, I just wanted to see what you guys would do.
1:11:40
SPEAKER_01: It's like, no, you're done.
1:11:42
SPEAKER_10: So I I saw a video like that probably like a year, maybe two years later.
1:11:47
SPEAKER_10: Um the San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge has the highest amount of bridge suicides.
1:11:55
SPEAKER_10: And the people who the few people who have survived, they said they were so ready to die.
1:12:01
SPEAKER_10: Once they let go and it was like they said flying down in that like maybe two, three minutes of before they hit the water, they had regret.
1:12:11
SPEAKER_10: They're like, I shouldn't have done this.
1:12:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's that's exactly what I was talking about.
1:12:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, that regret.
1:12:16
SPEAKER_01: Yes, because it it I it and and again, it's not that I know it, but like I'm not a witch, but like I think I do know it.
1:12:23
SPEAKER_04: I think I do know.
1:12:24
SPEAKER_04: I mean, because it's just like you know, I because every I can just see people, even people that say that they're prepared to die.
1:12:34
SPEAKER_01: I know in that last second that they're clinging on to that moment of life and death, that they're gonna be like, no, never mind, but it's already too late.
1:12:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you fucked up by people by design or by accident, whatever it may be, right?
1:12:50
SPEAKER_01: They will always have that.
1:12:51
SPEAKER_01: And that's what I tell people.
1:12:53
SPEAKER_01: At least in the moment right now, live your life to the fullest extent.
1:12:57
SPEAKER_01: And that that's so cliche, but it's true.
1:12:59
SPEAKER_06: It's true, yeah.
1:13:00
SPEAKER_06: But it's true, it's very true.
1:13:02
SPEAKER_01: You need to live your life because you could I could die tonight.
1:13:05
SPEAKER_01: Am I happy that I'm gonna die tonight and I'm my last breath is gonna be tonight?
1:13:09
SPEAKER_01: No, because there's things I need, I still need to do, I still need to go out to New York, I still want to go to Halloween horror nights at Universal Studios.
1:13:17
SPEAKER_01: That's you know, those things, right?
1:13:19
SPEAKER_01: Things I want to do, and I have yet to do it.
1:13:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is what I'm telling people.
1:13:26
SPEAKER_01: Instead of like, oh, I want to go and help the people, I want to go and have been a better person.
1:13:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and and and and here's where a lot of the Navajo Navajo native students get roped into this big old grand, I don't want to say it's a lie.
1:13:45
SPEAKER_01: This no, it's not a lie.
1:13:47
SPEAKER_01: What is it?
1:13:50
SPEAKER_01: It is a lie.
1:13:51
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
1:13:52
SPEAKER_01: When all of these students, and here's the thing in in in in the coming year, right, in May, when when all in all your listeners that have kids that are gonna be graduating, all of these Native American Navajo leaders are gonna be saying, go get your education.
1:14:09
SPEAKER_01: Go do to go help me.
1:14:12
SPEAKER_01: We're here to learn.
1:14:13
SPEAKER_01: We're here to learn.
1:14:14
SPEAKER_01: God, Principal Ashley, I swear to God.
1:14:17
SPEAKER_01: I I got into arguments with that.
1:14:19
SPEAKER_10: The fucking fact now, you know that fucking.
1:14:22
SPEAKER_01: Of course, because I fucking got mad at him.
1:14:24
SPEAKER_01: I got I got into an argument with Rantram over him.
1:14:28
SPEAKER_10: Fuck him.
1:14:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:14:29
SPEAKER_01: I got because I told I told her he shouldn't even be here.
1:14:33
SPEAKER_01: He's a politician.
1:14:34
SPEAKER_01: He does not need to be the Principal.
1:14:39
SPEAKER_01: You don't even know what the going off on the I'm getting triggered.
1:14:44
SPEAKER_01: That's only fun.
1:14:46
SPEAKER_01: What are we talking about?
1:14:46
SPEAKER_01: World World Peace.
1:14:47
SPEAKER_01: We're talking about world peace or something.
1:14:50
SPEAKER_01: No, I brought it.
1:14:51
SPEAKER_01: You triggered my high school.
1:14:53
SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm saying about high school.
1:14:55
SPEAKER_01: Get the class or hurt to learn.
1:14:57
SPEAKER_01: Rantram's sitting there.
1:14:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:15:00
unknown: Oh gosh.
1:15:01
unknown: Rantram.
1:15:02
SPEAKER_10: No, I I had so many words with Ram Shran.
1:15:05
SPEAKER_10: I hate to.
1:15:06
SPEAKER_10: Oh my god.
1:15:07
SPEAKER_10: One wasn't even at high school.
1:15:08
SPEAKER_10: One was at Pizza Warehouse when it was Pizza Warehouse.
1:15:11
SPEAKER_10: Do you remember Pizza Warehouse?
1:15:12
SPEAKER_10: No, it was always Caesar.
1:15:13
SPEAKER_01: You remember Doc's Pizza?
1:15:14
SPEAKER_01: No, it was always Little Caesars.
1:15:15
SPEAKER_10: No, it wasn't.
1:15:16
SPEAKER_10: It was always a Chinese restaurant, and then it was Doc's, and then it was Pizza Warehouse.
1:15:22
SPEAKER_01: No, you can take that blasphemy out, but it was always Pizza.
1:15:26
SPEAKER_10: But um, yeah, we were just chilling, having fun, laughing, and just being high schoolers.
1:15:33
SPEAKER_10: I think we were like 10th grade, and we were just laughing, you know, making jokes.
1:15:37
SPEAKER_10: Like we are now.
1:15:38
SPEAKER_10: She came up to you and told you to be quiet.
1:15:39
SPEAKER_10: Yes, exactly.
1:15:41
SPEAKER_10: She said, try being positive individuals in society.
1:15:45
SPEAKER_10: And we're like, the fuck are you talking about?
1:15:47
SPEAKER_10: And we told her to get fucked, and then she asked for our names.
1:15:50
SPEAKER_10: And we're like, no, I'm not giving you names.
1:15:51
SPEAKER_10: You your powers are useless against us.
1:15:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, that moral policing may be something that happens in her country.
1:15:57
SPEAKER_01: It ain't happening here.
1:15:59
SPEAKER_01: But so I remember it because I remember like maybe because I was at a meeting at maybe it was like a chapter meeting or something, but I remember it was like a lot of the former CCSD officials, and I remember like summer was that?
1:16:12
SPEAKER_01: It was like maybe like four years ago, five years ago.
1:16:14
SPEAKER_01: What?
1:16:15
SPEAKER_01: Really?
1:16:15
SPEAKER_01: But I remember I was like, Do you remember Miss Miss Ramtram?
1:16:18
SPEAKER_01: And he's like, and he's like, Yeah, we all tried to get her out of there.
1:16:24
SPEAKER_01: I was like, why the fuck did not one of you try to do that sooner?
1:16:28
SPEAKER_01: She would have done a great job if she was a like a jail or corrections department warden.
1:16:34
SPEAKER_01: She should, she had no place, no on the record right now.
1:16:39
SPEAKER_01: She had no place teaching any student at any level of academia.
1:16:45
SPEAKER_01: She had no place doing that.
1:16:47
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, yeah.
1:16:48
SPEAKER_10: She she pissed everybody up.
1:16:50
SPEAKER_10: I had an A plus in communications class.
1:16:52
SPEAKER_10: Mr., I think it was Tobias and or maybe it was Mr.
1:16:55
SPEAKER_10: Ballard.
1:16:56
SPEAKER_10: One of them taught they they those two were always hanging out in the same class.
1:16:59
SPEAKER_10: But I had an A plus in there, and I gave a presentation on a Gibson SG.
1:17:05
SPEAKER_10: Uh I don't remember.
1:17:06
SPEAKER_10: But as soon as I got done, she came walking in, she sat down at a chair just to observe the next person who came up to start giving their presentation.
1:17:15
SPEAKER_10: And they they were like a C student in communications.
1:17:19
SPEAKER_10: Communications, you have to talk, you have to give speeches, you know.
1:17:23
SPEAKER_10: Present and be, you know, give it out.
1:17:25
SPEAKER_10: They're just like, um, um, and they're reading their paper.
1:17:28
SPEAKER_10: I didn't have a paper.
1:17:28
SPEAKER_10: My paper was down.
1:17:29
SPEAKER_10: I was like, this is this, this is this, yeah, and this is that.
1:17:32
SPEAKER_10: Any questions?
1:17:34
SPEAKER_10: You're not reading from the script, yeah.
1:17:35
SPEAKER_10: No, so they were just like, you know, you have their little hunched over and they're like, oh, this is this, and and and this is this.
1:17:42
SPEAKER_10: And I thought it was good enough.
1:17:44
SPEAKER_10: I'm like, good job.
1:17:45
SPEAKER_10: And and ranch around's like, no, well, what about this?
1:17:49
SPEAKER_10: What if I want to do this?
1:17:51
SPEAKER_10: Hello?
1:17:52
SPEAKER_10: Are you gonna talk to me?
1:17:53
SPEAKER_10: What if I'm a student?
1:17:54
SPEAKER_10: What if I'm a student wanting to know questions about this?
1:17:58
SPEAKER_10: Am I asking the right question?
1:17:59
SPEAKER_10: And they're like, uh uh uh.
1:18:01
SPEAKER_10: And I remember turning around being like, what the fuck?
1:18:04
SPEAKER_10: Get out of here! You're not even a part of this, you know?
1:18:07
SPEAKER_10: And they were just like, she's putting them on blast right there.
1:18:11
SPEAKER_10: And antagonizing them.
1:18:13
SPEAKER_10: Yes, she wanted them to fucking fail.
1:18:15
SPEAKER_10: She wanted them to have like a C D and F.
1:18:18
SPEAKER_01: My first ever interaction with her.
1:18:19
SPEAKER_01: Well, this is my second interaction, but my actual interaction that we got into an argument, and um Principal Ashley had to come in and be like, Well, hey, let's calm down, both of you.
1:18:29
SPEAKER_01: So I remember it because I was like doing like I forgot what it was, but I I took where I was helping over at Eva B, like one of those aides over at Eva B.
1:18:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:18:38
SPEAKER_01: Walk over.
1:18:39
SPEAKER_01: So I remember I I think I was doing something, but I was walking over and the bell rang, and I was like halfway through, I heard someone screaming, come back, and I was like, Is that a duck?
1:18:57
SPEAKER_04: It's like a coyote dunk.
1:18:59
SPEAKER_04: So I look back, she's standing there with her purse.
1:19:01
SPEAKER_04: Oh little square purse, yes.
1:19:03
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, she's like holding it like this, and she was like, Come back here.
1:19:07
SPEAKER_01: So I was like, and I was like, okay, and I start walk back over and like not I didn't walk fully back over to her, she's just gonna bell ring.
1:19:15
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I'm walking over there, and she's like, what you're doing, and I just like I turned, I ignored her, I walk back over.
1:19:22
SPEAKER_01: I get over to the classroom, start helping with the students, you know, because I was like in a teacher's aide or something.
1:19:28
SPEAKER_01: And then like one of the uh secretaries in the main office, um uh you're called back to the to the high school.
1:19:34
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh, okay.
1:19:36
SPEAKER_01: So I walk back over there, Ranchram's standing right there.
1:19:40
SPEAKER_01: I told you to come back.
1:19:42
SPEAKER_01: And she goes, come out there, and I go over there.
1:19:44
SPEAKER_01: She goes, What's your name?
1:19:45
SPEAKER_01: And I gave her my name.
1:19:46
SPEAKER_01: She looked, I had A's and B's.
1:19:48
SPEAKER_01: She had nothing on me.
1:19:51
SPEAKER_01: And she's like, You're a gut student.
1:19:53
SPEAKER_04: I don't know why you're disobeying me.
1:19:55
SPEAKER_04: Oh fuck.
1:19:56
SPEAKER_01: And then that's when I snapped and I went on her and I said, You're the only reason why you continue to yell at people is you're trying to find reasons to get them in trouble.
1:20:03
SPEAKER_01: For real.
1:20:04
SPEAKER_01: And I remember I told her, I said, You're better off being a jail warden.
1:20:07
SPEAKER_01: And then she goes, Yeah, don't say that.
1:20:09
SPEAKER_01: And that's when Ashley came in.
1:20:11
SPEAKER_01: Hey, I can hear both of you.
1:20:13
SPEAKER_01: Cut it out.
1:20:14
SPEAKER_07: Came waddling.
1:20:15
SPEAKER_01: He he I don't know if he just waddled in or rolled in, whatever.
1:20:18
SPEAKER_01: And he walked in, but I remember he legit yelled at both of us to stop yelling at each other.
1:20:24
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:20:24
SPEAKER_01: And he asked us what was going on.
1:20:27
SPEAKER_01: And then he asked her, of course, first.
1:20:28
SPEAKER_01: And then she gave her story of like, oh, I was checking on making sure students weren't ditching and like whole fucking sab story.
1:20:35
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I was I had to go to the restroom.
1:20:38
SPEAKER_01: I had a stomach ache.
1:20:39
SPEAKER_01: I made up some bullshit.
1:20:40
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I had a stomachache, I had to go to the restroom before I went over to EVB.
1:20:44
SPEAKER_01: And I said, That's why I was walking over, and that's why when the bell rang, I was walking over and this, this, and this.
1:20:48
SPEAKER_01: And I said, you know, I have no prior infractions of whatever it may be.
1:20:52
SPEAKER_01: And he looked me up and he was like, Yeah, it's true.
1:20:54
SPEAKER_01: You're a good student, this and this.
1:20:56
SPEAKER_01: And he told us, like, we both need to get set our differences aside.
1:21:00
SPEAKER_01: We both need to understand we're here to learn.
1:21:04
SPEAKER_01: Well, he said something as she's here to educate, and I'm here to learn.
1:21:08
SPEAKER_10: Oh, fuck that.
1:21:09
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Good.
1:21:10
SPEAKER_01: But I said, But she doesn't need to be coming after me like this.
1:21:13
SPEAKER_01: And he's like, No, no, let's not do that.
1:21:16
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, All right, whatever.
1:21:19
SPEAKER_01: And they they let me go, and she I knew like she had it out for me.
1:21:24
SPEAKER_01: But it was close to like halfway through like the last year of senior year.
1:21:28
SPEAKER_01: She had nothing on me because I was a good student, and I was like, you know what?
1:21:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm fine.
1:21:33
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, I I think that was the main, only really run-in I've really had with her.
1:21:38
SPEAKER_10: And it wasn't even on school grounds.
1:21:40
SPEAKER_10: She was like, Would it would it be funny if we got the cops involved?
1:21:44
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, Fuck you, fuck the cops.
1:21:46
SPEAKER_10: I was like giving it to her when she asked me my name.
1:21:48
SPEAKER_10: I was like, I'm not giving you my name.
1:21:50
SPEAKER_10: Go fuck yourself.
1:21:50
SPEAKER_01: The first time I told you that was my second time my interaction with her.
1:21:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, okay.
1:21:54
SPEAKER_01: The first time you you actually probably know this person, but I'm not gonna name drop him.
1:21:58
SPEAKER_01: Um I'll tell you off off off the okay.
1:22:02
SPEAKER_01: Um, let's call him David.
1:22:07
SPEAKER_09: Okay, let's call him David.
1:22:09
SPEAKER_01: David.
1:22:10
SPEAKER_10: Him.
1:22:10
SPEAKER_10: That's a him.
1:22:11
SPEAKER_10: Okay.
1:22:11
SPEAKER_10: Okay, let's call him David.
1:22:12
SPEAKER_01: We'll call him David.
1:22:13
SPEAKER_01: So apparently, this person looked like me.
1:22:16
SPEAKER_01: Skinny, feeble, weak, you know.
1:22:19
SPEAKER_01: Woo! Stop, stop, stop, stop.
1:22:21
SPEAKER_10: I have a confession.
1:22:23
SPEAKER_10: I never bullied you in high school.
1:22:25
SPEAKER_10: You never did.
1:22:26
SPEAKER_10: But in my head, I was like, you look like a young Jimmy Fallon.
1:22:34
SPEAKER_01: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the last episode of a Ryan Cleveland.
1:22:40
unknown: Help! No.
1:22:42
SPEAKER_07: No, no, no, no, no.
1:22:44
SPEAKER_05: But yes.
1:22:47
SPEAKER_01: That's an that's an I've heard other I'm not bullying you.
1:22:50
SPEAKER_01: I've heard other actors being like, you remind me of this actor.
1:22:53
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, thanks.
1:22:55
SPEAKER_10: But it was that movie Taxi.
1:22:56
SPEAKER_10: You ever seen that movie Taxi?
1:22:58
SPEAKER_10: I've seen that movie Taxi with uh Queen Latifa, yes.
1:23:00
SPEAKER_10: Yes, and I was like, You look like Jimmy Fallon.
1:23:02
SPEAKER_04: Well, I someone came up to me and she's like, You remind me from Jack from Will and Grace.
1:23:06
SPEAKER_04: And I was like, Really?
1:23:07
SPEAKER_04: I was like, I don't think I would No, I can't see it.
1:23:10
SPEAKER_04: That's exactly what I was saying.
1:23:11
SPEAKER_04: You remind me exactly.
1:23:12
SPEAKER_10: I was like, No, no, no.
1:23:14
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
1:23:15
SPEAKER_01: So, anyways, um, my first interaction was with this person named David.
1:23:19
SPEAKER_01: Okay, David.
1:23:21
SPEAKER_01: So apparently we looked alike to this to Rantram.
1:23:24
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:23:25
SPEAKER_01: I was walking, for some reason I was walking, I don't know where I was walking.
1:23:30
SPEAKER_01: I think the bell rang again.
1:23:33
SPEAKER_01: I think the bell rang again.
1:23:35
SPEAKER_01: And I was walking, and I was like, I'm I was clear across the commons, like almost at all of those like four double doors on the other side that goes to the R O T C area.
1:23:44
SPEAKER_01: R O T.
1:23:45
SPEAKER_01: Okay, and I was like walking, and then like I kept hearing someone screaming, like, stop, stop, come back there.
1:23:52
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, she's always yelling at some just kept walking, oh I did the same shit.
1:23:57
SPEAKER_04: She kept screaming, David, David, and I'm just walking, and I'm like, and I know who this person is.
1:24:04
SPEAKER_01: I was like, David, stop, look at her, and I'm like, I got curious, and I looked.
1:24:10
SPEAKER_01: She's standing in the middle of the comments, pointing at me, and I'm like, Me?
1:24:16
SPEAKER_04: Come here! And I walk back and I said, I'm not David.
1:24:21
SPEAKER_04: And she goes, What's your name?
1:24:23
SPEAKER_01: You know, I tell her my name.
1:24:24
SPEAKER_01: She goes, No, it's not.
1:24:26
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Okay, so we ended up going back to the hot to the office, and she finds out my name, and she was like, Well, you look like him.
1:24:31
SPEAKER_01: What are you doing walking around?
1:24:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm going to class.
1:24:35
SPEAKER_01: What are you talking about?
1:24:36
SPEAKER_01: You always scream at everyone to go to class.
1:24:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to class.
1:24:39
SPEAKER_01: And then she looked me up, and my grades and everything was good.
1:24:42
SPEAKER_01: And she was like, Well, don't be tardy.
1:24:44
SPEAKER_01: This is your first warning.
1:24:45
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, all right, whatever.
1:24:47
SPEAKER_10: I'll be completely honest.
1:24:49
SPEAKER_10: I had the same fucking experience.
1:24:52
SPEAKER_10: So I had a little guitar silver tone amp.
1:24:57
unknown: It was Joey Paul.
1:25:04
SPEAKER_04: Screaming across the comments.
1:25:06
SPEAKER_04: His name.
1:25:07
SPEAKER_04: And I'm walking and I'm like, dude, turn around to her.
1:25:12
SPEAKER_04: Like, she's screaming her lungs out.
1:25:14
SPEAKER_04: Little did I know she thought it was me.
1:25:16
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, and I turn around and she's like, like, I I swear I thought her eyes were gonna pop out of her fucking socket.
1:25:24
SPEAKER_01: So I'm just that guy was my best friend in third grade.
1:25:28
SPEAKER_01: I have a story.
1:25:29
SPEAKER_01: Well, I can't.
1:25:30
SPEAKER_01: This is this is a personal story, but it's yeah, it's a story off the record.
1:25:33
SPEAKER_01: But yeah.
1:25:34
SPEAKER_10: But but but yeah, yeah, I had the same experience, but I was outside uh the what east the east side of the uh the commons.
1:25:46
SPEAKER_10: No, the outdoors, where the parking lot is.
1:25:50
SPEAKER_10: Um I was outside, I had this little silver tone amp.
1:25:53
SPEAKER_10: I had my guitar and I plugged it in.
1:25:55
SPEAKER_10: And I was playing um Iron Man.
1:25:58
SPEAKER_10: I was learning the Iron Man solo from Ozzy.
1:26:01
SPEAKER_10: And um I don't know what I was doing there.
1:26:04
SPEAKER_10: I don't remember why I was there.
1:26:05
SPEAKER_10: I think I was just chilling, waiting for my friend for after school because the math hall was just right there at Shiprock High School, and I was on that other exit, and then security was cool with me.
1:26:18
SPEAKER_10: They were like, Oh, cool, play this song and play this song and play this with me.
1:26:22
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, and then the security walked off, and then out of fucking nowhere, after hours Ramsham comes out of the fucking bushes.
1:26:31
SPEAKER_10: Why are you doing the button?
1:26:35
SPEAKER_07: She just under carpet, her bee-witch, you know?
1:26:42
SPEAKER_07: Oh my god, I'm about to pee on myself.
1:26:46
SPEAKER_06: But she pops up out of fucking nowhere, you know, and like she's just like, why are you loitering here?
1:26:52
SPEAKER_11: Why are you this?
1:26:53
SPEAKER_11: Why are you that?
1:26:54
SPEAKER_10: And I was just like, I'm just chilling, I'm waiting for my ride.
1:26:57
SPEAKER_10: My ride's coming out of nowhere.
1:26:59
SPEAKER_10: And then she's like, I need to start taking names.
1:27:01
SPEAKER_10: And then she pointed, she got her little two-way, and she's like, security, security.
1:27:05
SPEAKER_10: She said she didn't have a pen and paper to write my name down.
1:27:08
SPEAKER_10: So I had to call security.
1:27:09
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, and then the security that was cool with me came over and was like, What?
1:27:12
SPEAKER_10: And she's like, he's loitering, he's this, he's that, he's this, he needs to get out of here.
1:27:17
SPEAKER_10: And I was just like, What the fuck?
1:27:19
SPEAKER_10: Then she asked me who my name was, and she said, she said somebody else's name, which was my best friend's name.
1:27:25
SPEAKER_10: She said his name.
1:27:27
SPEAKER_10: I was like, Yeah, that's it.
1:27:28
SPEAKER_10: And I was just like, What the fuck?
1:27:29
SPEAKER_10: No, it's not me.
1:27:30
SPEAKER_10: And she's like, Who are you trying to be today, Mr.
1:27:34
SPEAKER_10: Blah blah blah?
1:27:34
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, Really?
1:27:36
SPEAKER_10: What?
1:27:36
SPEAKER_11: Yeah, and I was like, I'm not trying to I don't even fucking do anything.
1:27:41
SPEAKER_04: Like, like that's if it wasn't one of my friends, yeah, I'll be any of those.
1:27:45
SPEAKER_10: But it And then she's like, Okay, oh whatever, whatever and then she told the security, take his name down, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
1:27:53
SPEAKER_10: And have him be in my office tomorrow.
1:27:55
SPEAKER_10: And she walked off.
1:27:56
SPEAKER_10: And then security was like, Okay.
1:27:58
SPEAKER_10: Then she like Watching, looking, she leaves.
1:28:04
SPEAKER_10: How long are you gonna be here?
1:28:05
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, I don't know, I'll fucking leave right now.
1:28:07
SPEAKER_10: And she's like, Oh, okay.
1:28:08
SPEAKER_10: Well, that's cool.
1:28:09
SPEAKER_10: Just get out of here.
1:28:10
SPEAKER_10: Just get out of here.
1:28:11
SPEAKER_10: I I won't write your name down.
1:28:12
SPEAKER_10: I was like, oh, okay.
1:28:13
SPEAKER_10: And the security was like, You probably won't even remember tomorrow, anyways.
1:28:17
SPEAKER_10: I was like, oh yeah.
1:28:19
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
1:28:20
SPEAKER_01: She only worked on papers that were dropped on her desk.
1:28:22
SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
1:28:22
SPEAKER_01: And I remember, because I remember getting those those slips, those referrals, those ISS stuff, and having to go and put it in her box.
1:28:29
SPEAKER_01: And she'd always religiously go over there.
1:28:33
SPEAKER_01: Like it was money counting it in her hands.
1:28:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you're not getting paid by how many people you get disciplined.
1:28:39
SPEAKER_01: So it's like that's why I thought that's what I meant.
1:28:42
SPEAKER_01: Like, I I really believe she would have done better as far as like a jail warden.
1:28:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:28:46
SPEAKER_01: Because I think she would have done phenomenal in that job.
1:28:50
SPEAKER_01: But she was not an educator.
1:28:51
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, my my my dad looked at through my yearbook.
1:28:54
SPEAKER_10: I think it was like 2000, I don't know, 2004, maybe 2000 before 2008.
1:29:03
SPEAKER_10: And uh there was a picture of her like like that, and she's like slapping the papers and Mr.
1:29:07
SPEAKER_10: Walker standing behind her.
1:29:08
SPEAKER_10: I wrote Lost Souls and I drew horns on her.
1:29:11
unknown: She's like that.
1:29:13
SPEAKER_11: And my dad's like, Why did you draw on your yearbook?
1:29:16
SPEAKER_11: And I was like, Because she's the fucking devil.
1:29:18
SPEAKER_11: She was terrible.
1:29:20
SPEAKER_11: She was.
1:29:21
SPEAKER_01: I mean, even like her former colleagues, like the people that I met at that meeting, they're like, Yeah, she was really awful.
1:29:26
SPEAKER_01: Like, we we did all try to get her out of there.
1:29:28
SPEAKER_01: And they finally did, of course.
1:29:29
SPEAKER_01: But I was just like, What year did they get her out?
1:29:32
SPEAKER_01: I don't remember, but I was like, I don't know why none of you guys did this before.
1:29:35
SPEAKER_01: Like, everyone knew she was awful, like, not even like academically, she was just terrible.
1:29:42
SPEAKER_01: But I don't know, nothing was ever done about it.
1:29:45
SPEAKER_10: Um, every time we saw her at uh City Market, it was City Market at the time.
1:29:51
SPEAKER_10: I never saw her outside anywhere.
1:29:52
SPEAKER_01: Everyone was like, Oh, I saw Ram Trim.
1:29:54
SPEAKER_10: And I'm like, Yeah, there was a couple of times we saw her, me and my one of my best friends.
1:29:59
SPEAKER_10: Um, and she wasn't being a dick.
1:30:02
SPEAKER_10: She was fucking like cool.
1:30:05
SPEAKER_10: Like, I I that's weird to say now that I've exploded, but like she was like cool about everything.
1:30:10
SPEAKER_10: She was like, Oh, how you doing?
1:30:12
SPEAKER_10: I was like, oh and this is the fucking funny thing about it was she was always buying a big sausage.
1:30:26
SPEAKER_07: I gotta be what the fuck she only had a sausage in her.
1:30:34
SPEAKER_10: What did they say in beer fest?
1:30:35
SPEAKER_10: I sleep better with a little sausage in me.
1:30:40
SPEAKER_10: I forgot to mention that.
1:30:42
SPEAKER_10: Yes.
1:30:44
SPEAKER_04: I'm not shaming.
1:30:45
SPEAKER_01: You know those U-shaped sausages.
1:30:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm not shaming her, but like I'm just just I have to go to do a break.
1:30:53
SPEAKER_04: I have to take a bathroom break.
1:30:55
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
1:30:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna record just like 10 seconds or something.
1:30:59
SPEAKER_01: Do the what?
1:30:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna record 10 seconds just of just recording.
1:31:05
SPEAKER_01: I text Rantram by the way.
1:31:07
SPEAKER_01: Told her to see it.
1:31:10
SPEAKER_10: She was like, what's he going?
1:31:13
SPEAKER_10: I I don't want to sound mean, but is she still alive?
1:31:17
SPEAKER_01: I thought the same thing about my elementary school teacher.
1:31:20
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
1:31:20
SPEAKER_01: I was telling one of my friends, I was like, you know, he's probably dead, right?
1:31:23
SPEAKER_01: And she was like, Yeah, I think he is.
1:31:25
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, What he made such an influence in my life.
1:31:28
SPEAKER_01: Because I remember he was one of the only teachers because he knew I got bullied.
1:31:32
SPEAKER_01: Which school?
1:31:34
SPEAKER_01: You would be.
1:31:34
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I didn't go to either.
1:31:35
SPEAKER_01: I know you were Mesa.
1:31:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
1:31:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
1:31:39
SPEAKER_11: Oh shit.
1:31:40
SPEAKER_11: I know.
1:31:42
SPEAKER_01: Even as a kid, I had contacts everywhere.
1:31:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh shit.
1:31:46
SPEAKER_01: I had owls and crows, and they swung by, they swooped in.
1:31:52
SPEAKER_01: You know, they're watching everywhere.
1:31:54
SPEAKER_01: But um he was the only teacher that I remember it was like the last day of school, and he like he lit legit like I mean, it's creepy now, like he'd go to jail for doing this shit, but like what I remember I was leaving the class and he grabbed my hand and I was like, I'm going.
1:32:11
SPEAKER_01: And he's like, No, hold on, wait, wait.
1:32:13
SPEAKER_01: And he was like legit yanking me back into the classroom, and I'm like, this is it, I'm getting right.
1:32:20
SPEAKER_01: This is it.
1:32:21
SPEAKER_01: Kind of my day, it's happening now.
1:32:24
SPEAKER_04: This is what I wanted.
1:32:28
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, I remember as a kid, and then he rem he like knelt down and he's like, I had a different name back then, but he's like, You were one of the most important students I've ever had, and I want you to know.
1:32:42
SPEAKER_01: And he he like he legit made a point like, do not dim your own significance.
1:32:49
SPEAKER_01: And at the time, I was like, Oh, thank you, Mr.
1:32:53
SPEAKER_01: Beaver.
1:32:54
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Mr.
1:32:55
SPEAKER_01: Beaver, and I left, and then like a couple of years later, that's when I actually like reflected on and I was like, Yeah, so years later.
1:33:04
SPEAKER_10: Back then, you're just like, oh, what the fuck ever?
1:33:07
SPEAKER_01: You know, and I was like, not one, not one teacher.
1:33:11
SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, maybe there was one like in in high school, middle school, ever at TBA, not one.
1:33:19
SPEAKER_01: But he was the only person that ever like tried to force me to realize like there's there's more to me than there is what I I believe myself to be, or what everyone ever gossiped about me.
1:33:31
SPEAKER_01: That's good though, right?
1:33:32
SPEAKER_01: It was because I he was he was he was my elementary school teacher for like I don't know how long, how long were you at Mesa?
1:33:41
SPEAKER_01: Four years, three years?
1:33:42
SPEAKER_09: Uh fourth, fifth, sixth.
1:33:45
SPEAKER_10: Three years.
1:33:46
SPEAKER_01: Eva be the same thing for okay, okay.
1:33:49
SPEAKER_01: And I just like he was always comfortable with him as a teacher, but that was the only time that he like legit made it a point to be like Lincoln.
1:34:03
SPEAKER_01: And it felt like I I think, and here's here's one of the things is if he's still alive, and if he ever hears this, I doubt he's alive.
1:34:14
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
1:34:15
SPEAKER_10: No, no, no, he is same shit, don't worry.
1:34:17
SPEAKER_01: Okay, go ahead.
1:34:20
SPEAKER_01: If he ever hears this, he was probably one of the most influential teachers of my of my youth that stood out and said, like, you may not believe right now that you have what it takes to to do great things or be a great, whatever it may be, right?
1:34:39
SPEAKER_01: But I believe in that in you.
1:34:41
SPEAKER_01: And as of course, as a kid, I dismissed it completely because I'm like, why the fuck are you grabbing my hand?
1:34:46
SPEAKER_01: Don't touch me.
1:34:47
SPEAKER_07: Why are you pulling me in the glass?
1:34:50
SPEAKER_01: Put your hands on me.
1:34:52
SPEAKER_01: This is what I want to hear.
1:34:54
SPEAKER_01: Something like when it's just like now that I only think about it, I'm like, when when I legitimately think about it, I'm like, you know what?
1:35:01
SPEAKER_01: This was one of the only men in my life, other than my dad.
1:35:05
SPEAKER_01: My because my dad, you know, I grew up in a strong, and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say this proudly, but a strong line of alcoholics.
1:35:13
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:35:13
SPEAKER_01: He was one of the other people in my educational rearing as a person that just made the point to me that you know you're not insignificant, you're special.
1:35:25
SPEAKER_01: You're you have something more that I see in you than any other student that I've had in your class, right?
1:35:32
SPEAKER_01: That was one of the things I took from that.
1:35:35
SPEAKER_01: And at the time I didn't appreciate it.
1:35:37
SPEAKER_01: Of course, years later, when I think back, and I'm like, well, first of all, that was creepy of him grabbing me and pulling my kids into the class.
1:35:42
SPEAKER_01: But it was just like, you go to jail these days for that.
1:35:45
SPEAKER_01: What year was that?
1:35:46
SPEAKER_01: What what grade was?
1:35:48
SPEAKER_01: I I don't know.
1:35:48
SPEAKER_01: It was like I was I was a kid, it was an Eva B.
1:35:51
SPEAKER_01: It was like elementary school.
1:35:52
SPEAKER_01: I was fourth, fifth, sixth, whatever you were, it makes sense.
1:35:57
SPEAKER_01: Okay, anyways, so thinking back on it now, I'm like, I do recognize the significance of that moment only because I'm just like I think in I think maybe you even had this.
1:36:13
SPEAKER_01: You had one person that just stuck out.
1:36:16
SPEAKER_10: I did.
1:36:16
SPEAKER_10: I brought him up in one of the podcasts.
1:36:18
SPEAKER_10: It was the uh the math teacher, Mr.
1:36:20
SPEAKER_10: Austin from high school.
1:36:22
SPEAKER_10: Do you remember him?
1:36:23
SPEAKER_10: Was he the young guy?
1:36:24
SPEAKER_10: He was an older guy.
1:36:26
SPEAKER_10: I don't remember what his name was.
1:36:28
SPEAKER_10: His name was Mr.
1:36:29
SPEAKER_10: Austin.
1:36:29
SPEAKER_10: Do you remember his first name?
1:36:32
SPEAKER_10: I might, but no.
1:36:35
SPEAKER_10: He was a math hall.
1:36:36
SPEAKER_10: In the math hall, he was a math teacher.
1:36:38
SPEAKER_01: I had the old guy, yeah.
1:36:40
SPEAKER_10: And he he had this thing on his neck, his neck just sad because he was old, and he used to be like, uh I didn't be like, ah no, he used to do it on purpose.
1:36:49
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, like that.
1:36:50
SPEAKER_10: But um, I brought him up in my podcast, and I brought him up that he used to like belittle me, but the belittling made me a little think think more about my education, you know?
1:37:02
SPEAKER_10: Because like I used to tell him, like, I used to think of him as a fucking asshole.
1:37:08
SPEAKER_10: I used to just think in my head like, God, why are you being a fucking dick to me?
1:37:12
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, but as I got older, I realized or no, as I moved on, I never got to tell him, but like those things that he said to me really stuck in my head.
1:37:24
SPEAKER_10: It made me rethink my life, it made me rethink all these things.
1:37:28
SPEAKER_10: And like the coincidence.
1:37:31
SPEAKER_10: I started this podcast in 2021, I believe.
1:37:36
SPEAKER_10: And I brought that up, like that fucking guy, those things that kind of were kind of hurtful to me.
1:37:42
SPEAKER_10: Like he belittled me.
1:37:43
SPEAKER_10: Like he made me, he talked, he told me like I was stupid.
1:37:46
SPEAKER_10: He was just like, Oh, you don't care about this and this?
1:37:49
SPEAKER_10: Hmm.
1:37:50
SPEAKER_10: I never wanted to, I never wanted to disappoint my parents, but it's not my business.
1:37:54
SPEAKER_10: Like a backhanded comment at you.
1:37:56
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, like that.
1:37:57
SPEAKER_10: Like, oh cool.
1:37:59
SPEAKER_10: I never wanted to.
1:38:02
SPEAKER_01: I never aspired to disappoint my parents.
1:38:04
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, that's not my problem.
1:38:06
SPEAKER_11: You know, he used to say shit like for some reason.
1:38:08
SPEAKER_01: I feel like I'm trying to like I the my memory is like, I feel like I know who you're talking about, but I can't confirm it.
1:38:14
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, he used to little things like that.
1:38:18
SPEAKER_10: No, uh, no, not really.
1:38:20
SPEAKER_10: 50-50.
1:38:22
SPEAKER_10: But um he used to say shit like that.
1:38:26
SPEAKER_10: But I brought him up, and then I realized like the stuff he was saying really took effect in my head, and I realized I don't want to disappoint my parents.
1:38:34
SPEAKER_10: You know, I really thought about stuff like that.
1:38:37
SPEAKER_10: You asshole, but you fucking asshole, fucking asshole for making me think.
1:38:42
SPEAKER_10: Thank you for bettering myself, bitch.
1:38:45
SPEAKER_10: You know, but not a fan of this reverse psychology, but after I brought him up on that fucking podcast, because um that year, 2021, I was working one, two, three jobs at once.
1:39:00
SPEAKER_10: Yes, and I was working at Elbersons right there in Farmington.
1:39:04
SPEAKER_10: I was running the deli at night.
1:39:06
SPEAKER_10: Only at night.
1:39:07
SPEAKER_10: I might have I might have disrespected you.
1:39:10
SPEAKER_10: That's fine.
1:39:10
SPEAKER_10: No, I don't think so.
1:39:11
SPEAKER_10: I know everybody was cool with me.
1:39:13
SPEAKER_10: I was the happiest person.
1:39:15
SPEAKER_01: I was in South Dakota in law school, so you're fine.
1:39:17
SPEAKER_01: I know I was in South Dakota in law school at that point.
1:39:19
SPEAKER_10: But yes, I was always over there.
1:39:22
SPEAKER_10: I was at the deli, and I just recorded that podcast.
1:39:25
SPEAKER_10: It was like probably like the fourth or fifth episode.
1:39:28
SPEAKER_10: No, it was like maybe the sixth or seventh episode of the podcast.
1:39:31
SPEAKER_10: I told that story of how he belittled me when I was younger.
1:39:35
SPEAKER_10: He was mean to me, but it really made me think.
1:39:37
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, Yeah, and I just acknowledged him a lot.
1:39:41
SPEAKER_10: That next night I was at the deli, he came in.
1:39:44
SPEAKER_10: I was like, Wow, fucking teacher.
1:39:47
SPEAKER_10: What are the fucking chances of him coming?
1:39:50
SPEAKER_10: So I walked up to him and I said, Hey, I just talked about you in a podcast.
1:39:55
SPEAKER_10: He's like, Oh, a podcast.
1:39:58
SPEAKER_10: What's that?
1:39:58
SPEAKER_10: Who are you?
1:39:59
SPEAKER_07: Who are you?
1:40:00
SPEAKER_07: And I was like, Do you remember me?
1:40:02
SPEAKER_07: I used to I don't have any money, sir.
1:40:04
SPEAKER_07: He's like, Pretty much.
1:40:07
SPEAKER_10: I don't have any money for you, sir.
1:40:09
SPEAKER_10: You keep going.
1:40:09
SPEAKER_10: I said, I used to draw comics in your class.
1:40:12
SPEAKER_10: He's like, I was a math teacher.
1:40:14
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, Yeah, I know.
1:40:15
SPEAKER_10: That's exactly where I drew it.
1:40:17
SPEAKER_10: I can't multiply right now.
1:40:18
SPEAKER_10: No, it's a high school.
1:40:20
SPEAKER_09: That's what I'm numbers.
1:40:23
SPEAKER_10: I I I told him that.
1:40:25
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, I just talked about you in my podcast.
1:40:28
SPEAKER_10: And he's like, What's a podcast?
1:40:30
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, Well, it's like a it's like a talk show.
1:40:33
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, Don't disappoint me.
1:40:35
SPEAKER_10: Just be quiet.
1:40:36
SPEAKER_10: Okay.
1:40:37
SPEAKER_10: I'm giving you recognition.
1:40:39
SPEAKER_10: Don't just I'm about to say something nice.
1:40:42
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
1:40:42
SPEAKER_10: But I told him that, and I was just like, I brought you up and how you really shaped my life, and you changed me in so many different ways.
1:40:53
SPEAKER_10: Just by the way you were talking to me and the way you were treating me.
1:40:57
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, I thought it was disrespect, but it really built some character, you know?
1:41:02
SPEAKER_10: And I was just like, I I really appreciated that, and I wanted to thank you so many years later, and it's just a fucking coincidence that you're here.
1:41:10
SPEAKER_10: And he's like, Wow, I'd love to listen to it sometime.
1:41:13
SPEAKER_10: What's the name?
1:41:13
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, it's I didn't want to tell him.
1:41:17
SPEAKER_11: I was like, uh uh it's my friend's podcast, but um I didn't tell him because I was like, fuck that guy, fuck this dude, just fuck Obi Dad a horrible death, a horrible dad, fuck that guy, motherfucker.
1:41:30
SPEAKER_10: I was like, I don't remember, but I want to thank him.
1:41:33
SPEAKER_10: He's like, I'd love to listen to it.
1:41:35
SPEAKER_10: I was like, no, no, you don't.
1:41:37
SPEAKER_10: I just totally told you to go.
1:41:41
SPEAKER_11: And you're gonna hear him, fuck that guy, fuck his mother, fuck everything, you know, like just rip his ass a new one, but uh, yeah.
1:41:48
SPEAKER_10: That was that was the crazy coincidence about it, though.
1:41:52
SPEAKER_01: Like see, I I I've never really had the because there's there's there are like there's there's a few big regrets in my life.
1:42:01
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:42:02
SPEAKER_01: One of my first relationships, one of the reconciliation of telling, you know, my elementary school teacher, Mr.
1:42:08
SPEAKER_01: Beaver, like, hey, thank you for saying that shit to me.
1:42:13
SPEAKER_01: Even to this day, it's one of those things that just it created a pillar in my life, despite all of the bullshit of every even some of your friends.
1:42:23
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna put you in the spot.
1:42:25
SPEAKER_07: Go ahead, go ahead.
1:42:27
SPEAKER_10: You know, some of your friends a lot of my friends that I had in high school are not my friends anymore.
1:42:33
SPEAKER_10: I grew out I outgrew them.
1:42:36
SPEAKER_01: Even as I'm saying this, even some of your former friends in high school would would say terrible, horrible things to me.
1:42:43
SPEAKER_01: And not and here, and and and I did say this on another podcast, but even I'm gonna say it again.
1:42:49
SPEAKER_01: Not one of them, and I know not one of them, even to this day, knows how much any of that shit affected me growing up.
1:42:59
SPEAKER_01: How much like I even on the school bus being bullied and I had to get on the school bus, and even I got bullied on there.
1:43:05
SPEAKER_01: Drive going back home, I sat there just trying not to cry because I'm like, I don't want to be a bitch, I don't want to do all this stuff.
1:43:12
SPEAKER_01: And I remember when I would get home, I would not I would I would want to cry, but even there I felt like I couldn't.
1:43:19
SPEAKER_01: Only because at the time my brother, my eldest brother was alive.
1:43:26
SPEAKER_01: He died in uh 20 um 22, I think it was, when I was in law school.
1:43:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
1:43:31
SPEAKER_01: Um he was he was also terrible to me.
1:43:33
SPEAKER_01: As much as as much as I regret a lot of his life, he was a terrible influence in my life.
1:43:39
SPEAKER_01: Your brother.
1:43:39
SPEAKER_01: Yes, my eldest brother.
1:43:41
SPEAKER_01: He was an alcoholic, he he did horrible things, and he um the last text message I ever got from him is if I ever fucking find you, I want to kill you.
1:43:51
SPEAKER_01: No, so it was terrible in school and he made it terrible at home because every time I got home, he would always say, You're lucky you're my little brother.
1:44:06
SPEAKER_01: And I never knew what that meant as a kid.
1:44:09
SPEAKER_01: Right until I grew up.
1:44:11
SPEAKER_01: He hated me.
1:44:13
SPEAKER_01: He hated he hated the rumors about me that I was a fag.
1:44:17
SPEAKER_01: He hated that I could possibly be gay or whatever it may be.
1:44:22
SPEAKER_01: He hated that about me.
1:44:23
SPEAKER_01: And to this day, even my second eldest, my my the only other brother I have alive, you know, we don't have a good relationship either.
1:44:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:44:32
SPEAKER_01: Um, I have a restraining order on him, actually.
1:44:34
SPEAKER_01: No, what for five years?
1:44:36
SPEAKER_01: Oh shit! Okay, okay.
1:44:40
SPEAKER_01: Even then, you know, I never understood why my brothers never really liked me.
1:44:45
SPEAKER_01: And and it took a lot for me to realize, like, you know, I think it's okay that I don't know.
1:44:52
SPEAKER_01: But I feel like at the in the jellies, right?
1:44:55
SPEAKER_01: In the jellies of my soul, and in the gut of what I think I who I am and what I think it is, yeah.
1:45:01
SPEAKER_01: Whether I use my crystals, the gudgies, knowledge, whatever it may be.
1:45:07
SPEAKER_01: You know, I think I do know.
1:45:09
SPEAKER_01: And that's fine.
1:45:12
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm not gonna, I'm I grew up in this corner of the world called the Navo Nation, Shipwrock, New Mexico.
1:45:20
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna die in the same fucking corner.
1:45:23
SPEAKER_01: There's a different path out for me.
1:45:25
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be moving, you know, to either back to DC or even New York or somewhere different, living a life, right?
1:45:33
SPEAKER_11: And I'm gonna visit you.
1:45:34
SPEAKER_01: And experiencing, you know, I'll have the couch.
1:45:36
SPEAKER_01: You know, and and and experiencing things outside of all of this.
1:45:41
SPEAKER_01: And the thing is that, you know, again, like I'm not gonna say I'm a witch, nor but I can already tell my brother, the one that's currently alive, he's not gonna be beyond these this the borders of this region.
1:45:55
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
1:45:56
SPEAKER_01: Right?
1:45:57
SPEAKER_10: I hear you.
1:45:57
SPEAKER_01: So when I think about like my childhood, my brother would make made it terrible, right?
1:46:04
SPEAKER_01: He would um, and I don't think I've ever told this on a podcast, he would beat me up.
1:46:09
SPEAKER_01: He choked me at one time so badly that I passed out, and he put me, I think, in the closet and he hid me away to from my mom and dad when they came back.
1:46:18
SPEAKER_01: No, yeah, and it never it never registered with me.
1:46:22
SPEAKER_01: And to this day, like his like, you know, God bless his his kids, right?
1:46:26
SPEAKER_01: He's got kids, and some of them are like with kids now.
1:46:29
SPEAKER_01: And I've I've spared them telling them this about their dad, is that their dad as as much as he was my brother, he was a terrible person to me.
1:46:43
SPEAKER_01: Whether he was a terrible person in general, my opinion is already made up on that.
1:46:48
SPEAKER_01: Whether you believe differently, that's fine.
1:46:51
SPEAKER_01: I didn't go to his funeral.
1:46:53
SPEAKER_01: I refused to.
1:46:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:46:55
SPEAKER_01: I refuse to acknowledge that he was a good person because he was never a good person to me.
1:47:01
SPEAKER_01: He was he was never a good person to me.
1:47:07
SPEAKER_01: And when I think about him and every one of those fucks throughout all of school, I felt robbed of everything because it was it was if it wasn't in school, it was at home.
1:47:21
SPEAKER_01: And I never felt like I don't want to say I never felt safe, but it just felt like it just felt like school there too, being bullied at home.
1:47:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:47:32
SPEAKER_01: You know, the home is should be a place of of you putting your hair down, of taking off your bra from the day, you know, something like that.
1:47:42
SPEAKER_11: Of course, your bra.
1:47:43
SPEAKER_01: Of a place of feeling vulnerable, right?
1:47:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:47:45
SPEAKER_01: That's home for you.
1:47:47
SPEAKER_01: And I couldn't even do that with him there.
1:47:50
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
1:47:51
SPEAKER_01: And it was like from there going to school, and even there being bullied by everyone.
1:47:57
SPEAKER_01: From I can only remember.
1:47:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna name drop this person, and I hope he's still alive.
1:48:02
SPEAKER_01: Fuck it.
1:48:03
SPEAKER_01: Rusty, Rusty Light.
1:48:05
SPEAKER_01: I know the guy, yeah.
1:48:07
SPEAKER_10: I know who exactly.
1:48:08
SPEAKER_01: I remember I remember him from Sassy.
1:48:10
SPEAKER_01: I remember him from the first time, maybe even my stream of consciousness started to awake.
1:48:17
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:48:21
SPEAKER_01: He was the one of the only persons throughout all of my childhood that I guess just befriended me, regardless of anything.
1:48:36
SPEAKER_01: Even to this day, I think I the last time I saw him was probably like I think he was working like the security over at the casino here.
1:48:41
SPEAKER_01: Oh shit! I don't know where he's at now, but okay.
1:48:51
SPEAKER_01: Who were always a consistent figure, who were always just a good person throughout all of my childhood.
1:48:58
SPEAKER_01: And anytime I think of like even my friends that survived, you know, falling out of, you know, like the the years, you know, because like we've fallen out of talking of people from our childhood.
1:49:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:49:12
SPEAKER_01: But the people that I I did still talk to, right?
1:49:18
SPEAKER_01: Even some of them don't know how much I struggled with all of that bullshit.
1:49:22
SPEAKER_01: I mean, if anyone wanted to kill themselves, if anyone could have made a big fucking scene over at Shipwreck High School Commons, you know, in the mid in the in in hanging themselves, like I could have been one of them.
1:49:33
SPEAKER_01: Like, if anyone I would have remembered you though.
1:49:36
SPEAKER_01: That's nuts.
1:49:38
SPEAKER_10: It was it was it was I know of two people who well, maybe three right now who have hung themselves, and I thought, holy shit.
1:49:47
SPEAKER_10: One of them was was I I just hadn't like the imprint of them like, yo, you were a badass.
1:49:55
SPEAKER_10: You were a motherfucker, you were the coolest, one of the coolest dudes I've ever met.
1:50:01
SPEAKER_10: And you're fucking gone.
1:50:02
SPEAKER_10: You just fucking hung yourself.
1:50:04
SPEAKER_10: Like, holy shit.
1:50:05
SPEAKER_10: That stuck with me for years.
1:50:06
SPEAKER_10: He the person passed like years ago, but I'm petty though.
1:50:10
SPEAKER_01: Like, if I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna I'm gonna go out with a list of people.
1:50:14
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
1:50:14
SPEAKER_01: And a gun to the head.
1:50:16
SPEAKER_01: Like, I want a splatter and be like, you did this to me.
1:50:19
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
1:50:20
SPEAKER_11: I have a couple of those.
1:50:23
SPEAKER_01: It's just that that that's kind of like, you know what?
1:50:25
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna if I'm gonna go out, I would like I like to go out with some glitter, you know?
1:50:29
SPEAKER_11: Yes.
1:50:30
SPEAKER_11: I I hear you.
1:50:31
SPEAKER_11: I definitely hear you.
1:50:34
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, I have a shit list too.
1:50:36
SPEAKER_10: I have a shit list of people, but I don't I don't see them.
1:50:40
SPEAKER_10: Uh there there was a time, uh, I think it was around 2002 or 2003, one of my best friends, who's I'm not friends with him anymore, but one of my best friends was on the bus with me, and there was this I think he was a senior or junior at the time, and I was a freshman, maybe.
1:50:58
SPEAKER_10: No, I I must have been a freshman, he must have been a senior.
1:51:02
SPEAKER_10: But um, the this dude, his name was RJ, and uh he he was on the bus stop and he got on the bus.
1:51:12
SPEAKER_10: He sat in my assigned seat, and I was like, hey uh dude, you're in my seat.
1:51:18
SPEAKER_10: He got up and he just fucking punched me in the face.
1:51:22
SPEAKER_10: I can take a punch to the face.
1:51:25
SPEAKER_10: I I learned that at that age, but I like like like I it didn't fucking phase me or anything.
1:51:31
SPEAKER_10: Like, I can take a punch to the face, and he was like, You little punk, and I was like, Well, at least I got my seat back, you motherfucker.
1:51:40
SPEAKER_10: I said that really loud, and the bus driver was like, Hey, RJ, I saw that.
1:51:46
SPEAKER_10: And I'm gonna write you up.
1:51:48
SPEAKER_10: She didn't fucking write him up.
1:51:49
SPEAKER_10: Nothing, bitch.
1:51:50
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, he walked off to the back, and then I sat back, and then my my best friend was sitting beside me.
1:51:57
SPEAKER_10: He was like, dude, that was uncalled for.
1:51:59
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, There's a lot of intent.
1:52:01
SPEAKER_10: At least I got my seatback.
1:52:03
SPEAKER_10: I said that really fucking loud.
1:52:06
SPEAKER_10: And then we got off the bus, we walked into Shiprock High School, I sat where I sat in the commons.
1:52:12
SPEAKER_10: He came walking up.
1:52:13
SPEAKER_10: He's like, You think you're all tough shit, huh?
1:52:15
SPEAKER_10: He grabbed my head and he slammed it down on the table.
1:52:19
SPEAKER_10: And the security guard came up and was like, RJ, walk away.
1:52:25
SPEAKER_10: And he he just walked away.
1:52:26
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, You're really not gonna fucking he just did you know he insulted me on the bus.
1:52:33
SPEAKER_10: There was a lot of injustice.
1:52:36
SPEAKER_11: I got my head slammed on the fucking table, and it's me you, victim here.
1:52:44
SPEAKER_07: Something motherfucker!
1:52:45
SPEAKER_01: Like, I there was a lot of injustice growing up.
1:52:48
SPEAKER_01: There was a lot.
1:52:49
SPEAKER_01: A lot of people got away with a lot of shit.
1:52:51
SPEAKER_01: They did.
1:52:52
SPEAKER_01: I had a bus driver.
1:52:54
SPEAKER_10: The same route, the same spot.
1:52:56
SPEAKER_10: I had a big mouth, so I always got them in trouble.
1:52:58
SPEAKER_10: I didn't have a big mouth.
1:53:00
SPEAKER_10: My my my brother.
1:53:01
SPEAKER_10: My brother.
1:53:02
SPEAKER_10: So so I talked about my brother in a recent podcast, but since then we've reconciled.
1:53:08
SPEAKER_10: And you know, my brother acknowledged how he was a bully to me and he was mean to me, and you know, I got that from him, which I am thankful for.
1:53:17
SPEAKER_01: Again, I'm fortunate that I'm I'm happy that you're fortunate enough to have you got reconciliation from your victims, and now your brother.
1:53:24
SPEAKER_07: I haven't got any of them.
1:53:25
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, no, fuck the fuck the guy, RJ.
1:53:28
SPEAKER_07: Fuck that guy.
1:53:29
SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about Darren.
1:53:30
SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about Darren.
1:53:31
SPEAKER_01: You get reconciliation, and now you got reconciliation from your brother.
1:53:34
SPEAKER_01: I have not gotten one from any one of those people.
1:53:38
SPEAKER_01: So I'm very happy that you've gotten two out of whatever.
1:53:42
SPEAKER_10: I'm sorry.
1:53:43
SPEAKER_01: I said you look like you know, you know, you that was never that was never explicitly made into this world.
1:53:52
SPEAKER_01: That was a thought you had.
1:53:54
SPEAKER_01: It was just thought.
1:53:55
SPEAKER_01: It was a thing.
1:53:55
SPEAKER_01: I know it was a thought you had, but it doesn't count.
1:53:58
SPEAKER_01: But you weren't a witch back then.
1:54:01
SPEAKER_01: I still heard voices.
1:54:05
SPEAKER_10: I still had things telling me, but then but but but why were you so scared?
1:54:10
SPEAKER_10: But um uh uh yeah, that guy RJ.
1:54:14
SPEAKER_01: It was just a defense mechanism.
1:54:16
SPEAKER_10: That guy RJ never got any kind of like discipline, or he never got in trouble.
1:54:23
SPEAKER_10: Where is he today?
1:54:25
SPEAKER_10: I the last I heard from him was like 2016.
1:54:29
SPEAKER_10: One of my best friends was working at Aaron's, you know, Aaron's up.
1:54:34
SPEAKER_10: Uh yeah, and um I went to go see him and I was just like, hey buddy, and he's just like, hey Ryan, put your name into this drawing.
1:54:43
SPEAKER_10: We're having a drawing.
1:54:43
SPEAKER_10: He's like, put my name in the drawing, and then I saw the motherfucker.
1:54:47
SPEAKER_10: I saw fucking RJ.
1:54:48
SPEAKER_10: He was walking, and I was like, Holy shit, you look exactly the fucking same as he was working there or was he just walking?
1:54:56
SPEAKER_10: He was just a customer.
1:54:57
SPEAKER_10: Exactly the fucking same.
1:54:59
SPEAKER_10: Exactly the fucking same.
1:55:01
SPEAKER_10: I looked different as fuck back then.
1:55:04
SPEAKER_10: But I'm sorry, Burp.
1:55:06
SPEAKER_10: Excuse me, bless me.
1:55:07
SPEAKER_10: He walked in exactly the same.
1:55:11
SPEAKER_10: Because I show people don't change.
1:55:13
SPEAKER_10: No, but I'm he walked in and my best friend was like, oh hey RJ, how you doing?
1:55:21
SPEAKER_10: He's like, Oh, I came for that couch set, and I was just like, dude, what the fuck is back then?
1:55:26
SPEAKER_10: You were like, oh no shit, motherfucker, oh fucking.
1:55:31
SPEAKER_11: You were like shopping for couches, and then you're all you're all billigana.
1:55:34
SPEAKER_11: Oh, hey, oh welcome to the kind of poetry right there.
1:55:38
SPEAKER_11: Exactly.
1:55:39
SPEAKER_11: I love those curtains.
1:55:40
SPEAKER_11: I love those curtains right there.
1:55:42
SPEAKER_11: And he was just like, like, I was just like, who the fuck is this dude now?
1:55:46
SPEAKER_01: Is that refrigerant energy certified?
1:55:48
SPEAKER_10: Exactly.
1:55:50
SPEAKER_10: Exactly.
1:55:51
SPEAKER_10: I ran up to my best friend and I was just like, That motherfucker was the one that bullied me.
1:55:57
SPEAKER_10: I was like, ask so-and-so.
1:55:58
SPEAKER_10: He punched me on the fucking bus.
1:56:01
SPEAKER_10: And just like, oh yeah, well, he has kids and he has a family now.
1:56:05
SPEAKER_04: That's an excuse, fuck that guy.
1:56:08
SPEAKER_04: That's exactly how I feel.
1:56:09
SPEAKER_01: Because at any time, well, because like a lot of the and here's the tragedy of it is like a lot of people that did bully me, like half of them are unfortunately dead.
1:56:19
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I mean, it's not hard to to to see like if you're just living a lifestyle that's that's just you know, and something happens to you, you can't act surprised that it happened to you, right?
1:56:34
SPEAKER_01: But the people that are still alive, and they of course they're gonna act like, oh, I don't remember you.
1:56:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you remember me.
1:56:42
SPEAKER_01: You motherfucking you remember me.
1:56:44
SPEAKER_01: And one of them is uh has a business in Albuquerque and like does hair or something, and I'm like, That bullied you?
1:56:51
SPEAKER_01: You and your brother were terrible to me.
1:56:54
SPEAKER_01: I remember, I remember I was walking with one of my one of our mutual friends, and we were leaving like the gym, and you walk up legit, it was just three of us in this big ass hallway, Shiprock High School.
1:57:08
SPEAKER_01: You flat out said to him in front of me, I don't know why you hang out with that faggot.
1:57:13
SPEAKER_10: And of course this person owns a business in Albuquerque.
1:57:16
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and I rem I remember I'm just I just stood there and like of course he was just like he's cool, whatever.
1:57:25
SPEAKER_01: What what did you need?
1:57:26
SPEAKER_01: And just kind of tried to brush past it.
1:57:28
SPEAKER_01: That's some shit though.
1:57:29
SPEAKER_01: And then but it was just like, you know, like that's what I mean.
1:57:32
SPEAKER_01: Like all of the shit growing up of all of these people, and I hear terrible things happen to them.
1:57:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's like of course there's there's a hum there's a humanity part of me, like, you know, it sucks that you're going through what you're going through, but good on fucking coming.
1:57:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you had you have more to come because you know there's a there's a debt to be paid, and I have a fucking checking bank, you know, account full of it.
1:57:58
SPEAKER_01: They were yet to see it be paid yet.
1:58:00
SPEAKER_10: They were probably one of those people that you brought up earlier who would jump on the accusations and be like, fuck Lincoln Mart! Motherfucker Lincoln Mark! But then when it was like that wasn't true, oh and then just walk the other way.
1:58:17
SPEAKER_10: But they're not gonna say shit.
1:58:18
SPEAKER_10: They're probably growing up to be one of those kind of people.
1:58:23
SPEAKER_01: And and and here's the thing is like, yeah, I don't want to say I believe in karma, but I do believe that there is a way of things resolving itself.
1:58:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
1:58:31
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I mean you call it.
1:58:32
SPEAKER_01: Goes around, comes around.
1:58:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, and I I might call it something else, right?
1:58:37
SPEAKER_01: Like I might call it me burning three candles and you know, throwing some bone dust and some snake oil, you know, at four o'clock in the morning.
1:58:47
SPEAKER_01: That's my ritual to get back at you guys.
1:58:49
SPEAKER_11: But holy shit.
1:58:51
SPEAKER_01: I'm out of bone dust, by the way.
1:58:53
SPEAKER_10: Um don't worry, nobody.
1:58:57
SPEAKER_01: You guys are fine until the next full moon.
1:58:59
SPEAKER_01: Holy shit.
1:59:02
SPEAKER_01: But it's just like when I, you know, because like Facebook always reports like, oh, this person died.
1:59:07
SPEAKER_01: Like, this person died a horrible death, and then like two days later, you you see like their family were fundraising for their funeral, and they were a light in every room they brought, and like no, they weren't.
1:59:18
SPEAKER_01: They weren't not to me, motherfuckers.
1:59:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's what I tell people and like even on my platforms.
1:59:23
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, if I ever die before my time, because I don't see myself dying anytime soon, right?
1:59:32
SPEAKER_01: Um, but if I do, don't tell people that I lit up any room.
1:59:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:59:37
SPEAKER_01: In truth, I darkened some rooms.
1:59:40
SPEAKER_01: In truth, I was never a good person to certain people, and rightfully so, because those people were never good to me.
1:59:47
SPEAKER_01: But because I'm not there anymore and I was I'm I'm dead, they're gonna tell a different fucking story and say, Oh, he was a terrible person.
1:59:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
1:59:57
SPEAKER_05: I totally feel you on that.
1:59:58
SPEAKER_01: If anyone's giving my eulogy, be honest about me.
2:00:01
SPEAKER_01: Don't force me into heaven, don't force me into hell, just be honest about me.
2:00:06
SPEAKER_01: Just say, hey, Lincoln did his fucking best.
2:00:09
SPEAKER_01: At the end of the fucking day, he had his troubles, he had his triumphs, he did his best.
2:00:16
SPEAKER_01: But the people that really knew him really knew him, right?
2:00:19
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
2:00:20
SPEAKER_01: But don't like, oh, Lincoln went into every room and everyone loved him and everyone laughed, and he literally was the brightest star in the sky.
2:00:29
SPEAKER_01: He everyone just he would take the shirt off his back.
2:00:32
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't take my shirt off my back for some of you fucks that just fucking fucked me over.
2:00:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would just drive past smiling at your misfortune.
2:00:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's who I am, right?
2:00:44
SPEAKER_01: At some point, I'm like, yeah, I'm human myself.
2:00:47
SPEAKER_01: The people that that gave shit to me and I see you guys going through misfortune.
2:00:54
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to say it's karma, but I feel like it's true.
2:00:57
SPEAKER_10: I I I've helped I've helped some people in the past few years.
2:01:01
SPEAKER_10: I've helped them I I don't want to say that I gave them everything, but I helped them get to a certain point.
2:01:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:01:09
SPEAKER_10: And when they got to a certain point, they got the feeling of a certain power.
2:01:14
SPEAKER_10: And then when they were done with me, they were just like, oh, Ryan didn't give me shit.
2:01:20
SPEAKER_10: Ryan, oh, we got here because we're cool.
2:01:22
SPEAKER_10: We're I got here on my own skills.
2:01:25
SPEAKER_10: Not because of Ryan.
2:01:26
SPEAKER_10: And it's like, motherfucker, I did so much for you, and you're just gonna kick me to the kerb.
2:01:32
SPEAKER_10: You know, fuck you.
2:01:32
SPEAKER_10: You know, I've been fucked over by so many people.
2:01:35
SPEAKER_10: I have been there's there's probably still people who are gonna lie to others about me, and I just don't give a fuck.
2:01:42
SPEAKER_10: But but yeah, I I know the people that I am I will still stand to this day to be like, you know, fuck that person.
2:01:51
SPEAKER_10: They are two-faced, lying, backstabbing pieces of shit.
2:01:55
SPEAKER_10: You can believe them or you can believe me, but I don't really care what you believe in, to be completely honest.
2:02:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm yeah, I believe.
2:02:03
SPEAKER_01: It's at the end, by the way.
2:02:04
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, go ahead.
2:02:05
SPEAKER_01: There's a certain extent that I believe it.
2:02:07
SPEAKER_01: Because like, yeah, because like there's a certain point where I do believe, or I don't believe what you have to say.
2:02:12
SPEAKER_01: Like the, you know, in my professional aspect, I've helped people, I've helped people build businesses.
2:02:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:02:18
SPEAKER_01: In Albuquerque, right?
2:02:19
SPEAKER_01: I helped, you know, one of my former bosses rebuild her real estate business because she parted ways with her old former one, and she lost everything.
2:02:30
SPEAKER_01: Did I ever get a thank you?
2:02:32
SPEAKER_01: No, but we're still okay to this day, and I'm okay with that, right?
2:02:36
SPEAKER_01: Like she's she's been okay with me, and I've been okay with her.
2:02:40
SPEAKER_01: And and currently, right?
2:02:41
SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm helping other people build their businesses and the the the experiences and skills and uh things that I help contribute.
2:02:50
SPEAKER_01: Like people charge you thousands upon thousands of dollars for the things that I'm helping you with.
2:02:58
SPEAKER_01: And here I'm doing it for like 200 bucks, right?
2:03:00
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
2:03:01
SPEAKER_01: And it's just like, and it's just like it's like I do it because, first of all, you're my friend and I believe in you, and I believe in your business, and I want to help you succeed.
2:03:11
SPEAKER_10: Exactly.
2:03:12
SPEAKER_01: I want to help you succeed.
2:03:13
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
2:03:14
SPEAKER_01: But you know, I'm not saying I'm expecting anything in return, but don't don't don't fucking shit on the the things that I helped you with.
2:03:22
SPEAKER_01: Right?
2:03:22
SPEAKER_01: Don't don't turn a blind eye to the fact that you didn't get here solely by everything that you think you did.
2:03:30
SPEAKER_01: Right.
2:03:31
SPEAKER_01: There's a certain part of my contribution that helped you get to where you are.
2:03:36
SPEAKER_01: And that's true for some of the people that I helped build businesses for, that I helped advise on certain policies, regulations, right?
2:03:45
SPEAKER_01: Those kinds of things and interpreting certain things.
2:03:50
SPEAKER_01: But when I when I see them just kind of take the credit and like act like they got there on their own standard, I I get that they did take most of the risk.
2:03:59
SPEAKER_01: I get that.
2:04:01
SPEAKER_01: But there's a certain point of like, yes, but to get to that other level, it took me to help you get there.
2:04:09
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
2:04:10
SPEAKER_01: And all I want is that acknowledgement.
2:04:11
SPEAKER_01: I don't need a I mean, I don't need, you know, I mean, it would be nice for a paycheck, but it's but it wouldn't be, but it would be nice for to you'd be like, hey, I I do recognize you were there when I restarted my business, or you were there when I was trying to do this next big thing in my business.
2:04:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:04:30
SPEAKER_01: Something like that.
2:04:31
SPEAKER_01: And be like, hey, I really appreciate you.
2:04:35
SPEAKER_01: I don't think ever in my life, you know, save maybe like three people that have ever come up to me that had said, like, hey, Lincoln, I remember you from this and I'm sorry, or hey, I remember you that and I remember you did this for me, and I want to thank you for that.
2:04:52
SPEAKER_01: Unlike you, for some reason, you have all your victims coming back to you and be like, oh, hey, I don't want to be a fucking hater.
2:05:00
SPEAKER_01: You have former teachers coming up to you and be like, hey, what's your podcast name?
2:05:04
SPEAKER_01: I have, I have, of all of my experience, all of the bullies, all of the people that have taken advantage of me, all of the shit that had happened to me, even to even now, right?
2:05:16
SPEAKER_01: There's things that I'm not telling you that I'm struggling to deal with.
2:05:20
SPEAKER_01: Same, same, same, yeah.
2:05:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:05:26
SPEAKER_01: I have yet to have I think even anyone to acknowledge that said hey, that they came out to me and be like, hey, Lincoln, I'm sorry I called you a fad growing up.
2:05:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry that I I you know, I pushed you, pulled your hair, spread this gossip about you, and I made life utterly terrible for you.
2:05:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry I did that.
2:05:49
SPEAKER_01: Not one person has ever said that to me.
2:05:52
SPEAKER_01: Even the people that I thought were my friends who would just turn around and be like, yeah, I don't know what she or he is.
2:05:58
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, dude, there was a this was probably maybe like nine ten months ago.
2:06:14
SPEAKER_01: I would I did a live on my TikTok and um this person like commented, I was like, Hey, do you remember me when you came to one of my uh Halloween parties and this and this?
2:06:23
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh yeah, hey.
2:06:25
SPEAKER_01: And I remember like I had like 300 people in my in your life, yeah, that were just constant chats and all this stuff.
2:06:33
SPEAKER_01: So I was like trying to like keep up, and it's just it, you know, there's just you can't keep up with everyone's con questions.
2:06:39
SPEAKER_01: So, anyways, I I for some reason it slowed down.
2:06:43
SPEAKER_01: Then I see, like, hey, I see you're ignoring me, whatever, fuck you.
2:06:46
SPEAKER_01: I'm unfollowing.
2:06:47
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
2:06:48
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, and I knew who this person was because they I at first they they identified themselves and I was like, hey, it's you, I remember you.
2:06:56
SPEAKER_01: And then at the end of the live, they're like, You were gonna be ignoring me this entire time.
2:06:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I can't see everything that's going on.
2:07:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:07:03
SPEAKER_01: And she happens to live close.
2:07:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh, is this she?
2:07:07
SPEAKER_01: Yes, she happens to live close to where I live.
2:07:09
SPEAKER_01: And I remember she's like, whatever, I'm unfollowing, you're ignoring me.
2:07:14
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, if that's what it takes to shake you to being possibly, passively, unintentionally ignored on the fucking live to hurt your feelings, fine.
2:07:26
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's what I said too.
2:07:28
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, if if if you're gonna get upset because I missed a comment you said, you can unfollow me then.
2:07:34
SPEAKER_10: That's just you're just acknowledging the toxicity that's memory.
2:07:37
SPEAKER_04: Because I mean I'm not gonna be like, oh, I'm so sorry.
2:07:41
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, let me suck you off.
2:07:42
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
2:07:43
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
2:07:44
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's just like, what am I gonna do?
2:07:46
SPEAKER_01: So, anyways, like maybe like a week later, I recognize that vehicle from that person's house pulling out in front um immediately right behind me, coming from where I live.
2:07:58
SPEAKER_01: Oh shit, tailing the shit out of me.
2:08:00
SPEAKER_01: And that's when I just dawned on me.
2:08:03
SPEAKER_01: Is that all it takes in Navajo, in the Navajo nation, in native communities, for you to get so hurt online over something so de minimis, so minuscule, something that is just so uh could be reduced down to a miscommunication that you would go and tailgate someone into shiprock, right?
2:08:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's what just kind of blew my mind, and it I had to like kind of shake the person off of me, but I was just like and that's when I I that's when I kind of realized maybe like a year ago, year and a half ago.
2:08:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you know what?
2:08:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm just kind of done.
2:08:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm just so disappointed in my community and how I grew up and all the people because there's no change to it.
2:08:49
SPEAKER_01: I've never had any of these dramas and gossips and all of this stuff when I was living in DC.
2:08:54
SPEAKER_01: When I was living away from the native reservations or whatever it may be, I never had any of these problems until coming back.
2:09:01
SPEAKER_01: My soul, my spirit, whatever it may be, never felt so discouraged, never felt so dimmed until coming back here.
2:09:09
SPEAKER_01: And then everyone else is like, oh, well, that's maybe it's like no, maybe it's you.
2:09:14
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's because you don't acknowledge that you're part of that problem.
2:09:22
SPEAKER_01: Someone asked me, what would be your current message to the students?
2:09:26
SPEAKER_01: And I remember I gave like I recorded a couple of videos for parents who wanted me to make videos for their students who were graduating.
2:09:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:09:32
SPEAKER_01: And I told them, I was like, there was a time that I believed come back and help your community.
2:09:38
SPEAKER_01: There was a time.
2:09:40
SPEAKER_09: Oh yeah.
2:09:41
SPEAKER_01: These days I I remember feeling that way too.
2:09:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:09:44
SPEAKER_01: Do it for yourself.
2:09:46
SPEAKER_01: Don't do it because you feel like you have an obligation to help your community, to help your tribal nation, to help whatever it may be.
2:09:52
SPEAKER_01: You're not gonna help anyone who's not gonna want to help themselves.
2:09:56
SPEAKER_01: Help yourself, help your family, help your friends.
2:10:00
SPEAKER_01: And if at that point you're comfortable in helping all of those and you want to help your community, then talk about your community.
2:10:08
SPEAKER_01: The students that are going out to ASU, wherever it may be, Yale, Harvard, wherever it may be, right?
2:10:15
SPEAKER_01: All these native Navo students.
2:10:18
SPEAKER_01: Like, I want to come back and help the people.
2:10:20
SPEAKER_01: Don't do it.
2:10:22
SPEAKER_01: Don't do it just yet.
2:10:24
SPEAKER_01: The Navu nation isn't ready.
2:10:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:10:27
SPEAKER_01: We're not gonna be ready for maybe even 20 years.
2:10:30
SPEAKER_01: Not one fucking bit.
2:10:32
SPEAKER_01: Do it to help yourself, enrich yourself, make yourself so untouchable, get so much fuck you money to the point where if anyone else ever threatens you but a job, you can walk away and say, fuck you, I'm fine for the next five years without a job.
2:10:49
SPEAKER_01: That's my message to young people these days.
2:10:52
SPEAKER_01: Do it, reach for the fucking stars to the where to where none of us, not even the Navajo Nation, not even your own community can touch you.
2:10:59
SPEAKER_02: Do that.
2:11:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I feel that.
2:11:03
unknown: I'm mad.
2:11:04
SPEAKER_06: No, you're fine.
2:11:06
SPEAKER_10: You're fine, you know.
2:11:09
SPEAKER_10: I'm mad.
2:11:11
SPEAKER_10: I hear you.
2:11:12
SPEAKER_10: I hear you.
2:11:12
SPEAKER_10: There's a lot of people that would fucking hear that same shit.
2:11:17
SPEAKER_10: I need to wipe my face.
2:11:19
unknown: Okay.
2:11:20
SPEAKER_10: So that's some pretty deep shit.
2:11:22
SPEAKER_01: Not even my therapist knows this.
2:11:25
SPEAKER_10: No, you're fine.
2:11:27
SPEAKER_10: The whole fucking four corners knows now.
2:11:29
SPEAKER_10: No, I'm just kidding.
2:11:30
SPEAKER_01: Every time I look up this way, I feel like there's like people sitting there.
2:11:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no, it's just I know.
2:11:34
SPEAKER_10: Everybody gets a kick out of that shit.
2:11:36
SPEAKER_10: Um, the little I have two of those.
2:11:40
SPEAKER_10: I like making props of stuff like that.
2:11:43
SPEAKER_01: I just need two chicken hearts, snakeskin.
2:11:46
SPEAKER_01: And then they come alive.
2:11:49
SPEAKER_10: Is that some evil dead type shit?
2:11:53
SPEAKER_10: And some cedar.
2:11:55
SPEAKER_01: I'll make one of the move.
2:11:56
SPEAKER_10: For real?
2:11:58
SPEAKER_10: Holy shit.
2:12:01
SPEAKER_10: Wow.
2:12:02
SPEAKER_01: Can't do it.
2:12:03
SPEAKER_01: I've tangled with a few things like that before.
2:12:07
SPEAKER_01: A lot of it's just kind of bullshit.
2:12:09
SPEAKER_01: A lot of it really relies.
2:12:11
SPEAKER_01: Is this recording?
2:12:12
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
2:12:14
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
2:12:16
SPEAKER_01: A lot of it really isn't your intention, right?
2:12:19
SPEAKER_01: Because it because anytime I like I hear really like, oh yeah, they they witched you, or like someone's like, oh, I did the ceremony and heard this person.
2:12:25
SPEAKER_01: Witched me with the wind.
2:12:26
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, it doesn't take hard to witch anybody.
2:12:29
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't take hard to wish ill on anybody.
2:12:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:12:32
SPEAKER_01: It really takes your intention.
2:12:34
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I could burp and like have the wind try to go to you, but like that's just like a practical way of trying to physically do the steps to try and make something happen to you.
2:12:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:12:47
SPEAKER_01: As opposed to being like, you know what, I really don't like this person.
2:12:51
SPEAKER_01: And here's the There's a there has been points in my life where I had wished certain ill things on people and they came out paralyzed.
2:13:08
SPEAKER_01: Or died.
2:13:10
SPEAKER_01: Or something terrible had happened.
2:13:12
SPEAKER_01: Because when my dad died, oh, can I even say that I have to give it a different name.
2:13:17
SPEAKER_10: Let's name him Daryl.
2:13:19
SPEAKER_10: It's a woman.
2:13:20
SPEAKER_10: Oh, let's name him her Brenda.
2:13:23
SPEAKER_10: Brenda.
2:13:24
SPEAKER_01: So, anyways, so this apparently was like a an apparent mistress of my dad.
2:13:30
unknown: Okay.
2:13:31
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
2:13:32
SPEAKER_01: So when when when my dad died, and we had, you know, the meetings to go and talk about the funeral and all this stuff.
2:13:37
SPEAKER_01: We get I get there when my mom gets there.
2:13:39
SPEAKER_01: My mom and dad had been divorced for a couple of years.
2:13:42
SPEAKER_01: Nonetheless, we get there.
2:13:45
SPEAKER_01: There's this random woman I've never met before, crying her fucking eyes.
2:13:49
SPEAKER_01: What the fuck?
2:13:50
SPEAKER_01: Acting like she's the wife, widow, and like the only soul.
2:13:54
SPEAKER_01: The one.
2:13:55
SPEAKER_01: The one, right?
2:13:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:13:57
SPEAKER_01: And she comes up to me, just like gives me a hug.
2:14:01
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, who are you?
2:14:03
SPEAKER_01: For real, right?
2:14:05
SPEAKER_04: My mom like, who are you?
2:14:07
SPEAKER_01: But apparently she had been like a friend of my brother's wife's family.
2:14:13
SPEAKER_01: So my my eldest brother, the one who died.
2:14:15
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
2:14:16
SPEAKER_01: He was protective over her because she was related to his wife's family.
2:14:23
SPEAKER_01: So, anyways, I guess again, my family, my dad's side, they were pure alcoholics.
2:14:30
SPEAKER_01: They were like generational alcoholics.
2:14:32
SPEAKER_01: I wish I could take credit for it, but like I I'm not an alcoholic, but like good I'm tipping the these days.
2:14:39
SPEAKER_01: No, no, really.
2:14:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm tipping the rest of my blue moon to them.
2:14:42
SPEAKER_10: These days, it takes very little to be considered an alcoholic.
2:14:46
SPEAKER_10: Well, yeah, these three.
2:14:48
SPEAKER_10: So I'll tell you right now, I've been to a few AAs.
2:14:51
SPEAKER_10: I've been to a few uh what are they called?
2:14:55
SPEAKER_10: Uh there's nothing anonymous.
2:14:57
SPEAKER_10: Non-As.
2:14:58
SPEAKER_06: Non-AA stuff.
2:14:59
SPEAKER_10: They they will tell you every little thing you do makes you an alcoholic.
2:15:03
SPEAKER_10: So right now, if we are alcoholics, hey, cheers, we're fucking alcoholics.
2:15:07
SPEAKER_10: Because it takes that fucking much to make you an alcoholic.
2:15:11
SPEAKER_10: And I grew up not believing that.
2:15:13
SPEAKER_10: I'm believing like you can chill out and have fun and talk a little bit.
2:15:16
SPEAKER_04: That's exactly my same thing.
2:15:17
SPEAKER_01: I like it having to, I like so when I go out to go get a steak, when I go have seafood, a glass of wine, or something with beer.
2:15:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're native, you're an alcoholic.
2:15:26
SPEAKER_01: Oh, fuck no.
2:15:28
SPEAKER_01: So can I enjoy something?
2:15:29
SPEAKER_01: Can I have a beer?
2:15:30
SPEAKER_01: Can I because anytime I go out with my friends who are non-natives in DC, we go out to steak dinners, those fuckers drink like a fucking sailor.
2:15:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:15:38
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, how come you guys are not called alcoholics?
2:15:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:15:41
SPEAKER_10: Oh, because they're not native.
2:15:43
SPEAKER_10: So so the person that I said I really helped out, and they were just a two-faced backstabbing son of a dog.
2:15:51
SPEAKER_10: They um they said the same thing.
2:15:53
SPEAKER_10: It's like you're just a fucking alcoholic.
2:15:55
SPEAKER_10: I'm like, alcoholic?
2:15:56
SPEAKER_10: You know what a fucking alcoholic is?
2:15:58
SPEAKER_10: They give up their life for alcohol, they give up their life for a drink.
2:16:01
SPEAKER_10: They'll they'll turn down work and opportunity and money and advantages and all these talents and everything for that little fix of drink.
2:16:11
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
2:16:11
SPEAKER_10: That's what a fucking alcoholic.
2:16:16
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, but in the day.
2:16:17
SPEAKER_10: If you go to work, you contribute to society, you make a paycheck, you pay your bills, you do all your shit, and at the very end of the day, you just want a little drink.
2:16:27
SPEAKER_01: You're not an alcoholic.
2:16:29
SPEAKER_01: It's like, what the fuck?
2:16:30
SPEAKER_01: There's one council delegate that spread, and I have a screenshot of this.
2:16:33
SPEAKER_01: Um, she spread um an email to all the delegates saying, like, I heard this person, this person, and Lincoln Mark got arrested for some alcohol-related something.
2:16:44
SPEAKER_06: Is that is that the one you kind of shared recently?
2:16:49
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, this delegate this delegate went on saying, accusing, and of course, she's I wasn't accusing, I was just inquiring.
2:17:00
SPEAKER_01: It's my job as a delegate.
2:17:01
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, no, you're spreading gossip among the delegates by spreading this kind of bullshit.
2:17:06
SPEAKER_01: But she's I have the screenshot of the email, and she was saying, like, I heard Lincoln Mark got pulled over or something, and I want to know why there's no police report.
2:17:16
SPEAKER_01: You need to be ready to explain this at the next law and order committee.
2:17:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:17:20
SPEAKER_01: And she sent this to like the uh the at the time, the director of the uh public safety for Navajo Nation.
2:17:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
2:17:25
SPEAKER_01: Essentially making an accusation that I for some reason got pulled over or I got some alcohol-related something.
2:17:34
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, if that's true, I will stand in arm in arm with you, fucking this fucking bitch, this cunt, right?
2:17:41
SPEAKER_01: This capital C-U-N-T.
2:17:46
SPEAKER_01: I will stand arm in arm with you in the fucking street protesting to figure out if this was true.
2:17:54
SPEAKER_01: I've never, not once ever been pulled over by Navajo Police Department, whatever, to any kind of thing.
2:18:01
SPEAKER_01: So for her to go and spread this kind of misinformation, this gossip among the delegates, she knew what the fuck she was doing.
2:18:09
SPEAKER_10: That's that's what you first brought up in the beginning.
2:18:12
SPEAKER_10: Like it, it it can get dirty, it can get gross, and that's what that's what that was my word.
2:18:17
SPEAKER_04: And I'm nobody, I am not gross elected.
2:18:20
SPEAKER_04: I'm not anyone important.
2:18:21
SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
2:18:22
SPEAKER_06: So why are they fucking picking on you?
2:18:23
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's what I'm just like.
2:18:25
SPEAKER_01: If if if you really want to and as much as everyone's like, oh, like, don't trust Lincoln, he can say or he'll do this.
2:18:33
SPEAKER_01: As much as everyone accuses me of that, yes, I have the capability.
2:18:38
SPEAKER_01: I have screenshots, I have everything in my iCloud that everyone had sent me.
2:18:45
SPEAKER_01: But thank your fucking lucky stars, I don't do that.
2:18:47
SPEAKER_01: Thank your lucky stars.
2:18:49
SPEAKER_01: I'm not like the other people on Facebook that are like, oh, guess what I heard?
2:18:53
SPEAKER_01: I don't do that shit.
2:18:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:18:56
SPEAKER_01: But the moment like this one delegate in particular has a problem with me because the other delegates were like, Yeah, for some reason she really doesn't like you, Lincoln.
2:19:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I don't like her too.
2:19:06
SPEAKER_01: It's probably because we're both narcissists and we recognize it in each other.
2:19:11
SPEAKER_01: But I'm just like, that's probably why.
2:19:14
SPEAKER_01: Because we see each other's true colors, yeah.
2:19:17
SPEAKER_01: There's no there's no hiding what we are to each other, true witches.
2:19:23
SPEAKER_04: Oh shit, huh?
2:19:25
SPEAKER_04: So that's what I mean.
2:19:26
SPEAKER_01: It's just like when with the one uh uh the delegate from close, oh god, I can't say it.
2:19:34
SPEAKER_01: She was like, Yeah, for some reason, I she this delegate doesn't really like Lincoln, she really hates Lincoln, so I don't understand.
2:19:41
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, and I'm like, I know why.
2:19:44
SPEAKER_01: I just it's a sailor knows another sailor, yeah.
2:19:48
SPEAKER_01: And I think that statement is true.
2:19:52
SPEAKER_10: Wow.
2:19:53
SPEAKER_10: That's a that's a whole lot of shit.
2:19:55
SPEAKER_10: It goes into all the drama that goes in.
2:19:57
SPEAKER_10: They could make a movie out of it.
2:19:58
SPEAKER_04: I know, that's what I mean.
2:19:59
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I'm not even doing anything, I could just be sitting at home, like just topless, hot, you know, writing an email or something, and then someone's like, Lincoln, I heard you said this.
2:20:10
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, what did I do?
2:20:11
SPEAKER_01: What did I do now?
2:20:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm topless, my finger in my you know, my belly button, circling my belly button, doing nothing.
2:20:21
SPEAKER_05: And then just like, oh yeah, we heard this, we heard that, your photo's all over this, we did that, we did that.
2:20:27
SPEAKER_01: I was like, as much as this person's like, people will use your information against you.
2:20:31
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, hello, they did the same thing for me, but here you are accusing me of like I know it's Lincoln, it is Lincoln, it has to be Lincoln.
2:20:39
SPEAKER_01: It's like, whatever.
2:20:41
SPEAKER_01: If it really is me, then just wait.
2:20:44
SPEAKER_01: I will make it, I will make a page and it's gonna and it will show every fucking detail.
2:20:49
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, every receipt, every screenshot that everyone had sent me.
2:20:54
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's what they're afraid of, right?
2:20:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you you have a power.
2:20:59
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't want to say I have the power.
2:21:00
SPEAKER_11: I mean, it just like it you have a responsibility.
2:21:04
SPEAKER_01: Every time everyone drops my name in Navo government, like, what the fuck did I do to you?
2:21:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what did I do?
2:21:11
SPEAKER_01: I'm not anybody, I'm just a regular Navajo person.
2:21:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm just a regular low-level NAVO employee.
2:21:18
SPEAKER_05: Let's just say you were just at Target.
2:21:20
SPEAKER_01: It just so happens that my voice carries a lot farther than most of you fucks.
2:21:24
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
2:21:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:21:26
SPEAKER_01: And is if that's what you're afraid of, I don't know.
2:21:29
SPEAKER_01: Have the fucking balls.
2:21:32
SPEAKER_01: Be a man, be a woman, whatever you are, be a Masani, Natani, whatever you guys all claim to fucking be, a strong Navajo woman, a strong Navajo man, whatever the fuck you you guys say you are.
2:21:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:21:44
SPEAKER_01: And then just say it.
2:21:46
SPEAKER_01: Lincoln, I'm scared of you exposing me.
2:21:49
SPEAKER_01: And if you say that to me, fine.
2:21:51
SPEAKER_01: At least we understand each other then.
2:21:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:21:54
SPEAKER_01: Right?
2:21:54
SPEAKER_01: Other than you trying to fucking drag my name and say, oh, Lincoln's like this, Lincoln's like this.
2:21:59
SPEAKER_01: Don't trust Lincoln.
2:22:00
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry.
2:22:02
SPEAKER_01: Keep name-dropping me and just wait till I actually do the things that you're accusing me of.
2:22:08
SPEAKER_10: It's gonna come out one of these days, though.
2:22:10
SPEAKER_01: And I and I'm not gonna say from fucking Janet.
2:22:12
SPEAKER_01: There's fucking receipts, there's screenshots, there's videos, there's audio recording.
2:22:17
SPEAKER_01: And you have all that?
2:22:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
2:22:20
SPEAKER_10: That's none of my business.
2:22:24
SPEAKER_10: There it is.
2:22:26
SPEAKER_10: One more time.
2:22:27
SPEAKER_10: One more time.
2:22:28
SPEAKER_11: For the people of the bat!
2:22:35
SPEAKER_01: I'm just saying my iCloud.
2:22:37
SPEAKER_10: If anyone wants to buy me off with my iCloud, this is gonna go out, and you're gonna be talking to them like I could die tonight.
2:22:47
SPEAKER_10: I should die tonight.
2:22:48
SPEAKER_01: It's just it's just so annoying.
2:22:49
SPEAKER_01: It's just so unnecessary.
2:22:50
SPEAKER_01: That's what I mean.
2:22:50
SPEAKER_01: It's just like, and everyone acts like Navajo government's the the the pinnacle of their professional careers, right?
2:22:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's Navajo Nation.
2:22:59
SPEAKER_01: No one takes it seriously.
2:23:01
SPEAKER_01: My friends who are part of like so I have a lot of friends in the Department of Justice.
2:23:05
SPEAKER_10: Okay.
2:23:06
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to name a specific office.
2:23:07
SPEAKER_10: No.
2:23:08
SPEAKER_01: The Department of Justice, um, two of them in the interior, one over at Family Services, and a few other people that are staffers on the hill.
2:23:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:23:22
SPEAKER_01: From my time living out in DC, they always report to me.
2:23:26
SPEAKER_01: They'll text me, they'll be like, hey, we saw what happened at council, or we saw this, or and that's what I mean.
2:23:32
SPEAKER_01: Like, anytime one of these councils flips their shit or goes off on their PMS, whatever tantrum, yeah, change your fucking tampon.
2:23:40
SPEAKER_01: Oh, land your fucking plane.
2:23:43
SPEAKER_01: It's not the Navajo people just watching you guys, it's the feds, it's the people that are making these regulation changes that are watching you.
2:23:53
SPEAKER_01: And of course, some of these delegates.
2:23:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I know some of these people too.
2:23:56
SPEAKER_01: And I met with and I'm like, I was in that same fucking meeting, and no, you did not meet that person that you're telling your audience that you met with.
2:24:04
SPEAKER_01: You're lying.
2:24:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I met with Senator Lujan.
2:24:09
SPEAKER_01: No, we did not.
2:24:10
SPEAKER_01: We met with one of his staffers, and here you are telling your public audience, oh, we met with Senator Lujan.
2:24:16
SPEAKER_10: Like they got connections.
2:24:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I'm like, no.
2:24:19
SPEAKER_01: Even one of them was trying to intimidate me.
2:24:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, one of the senators texted me and said that they don't like what you're saying about Navajo.
2:24:26
SPEAKER_01: I have a text message from one of the chief of staff in the House of Representatives for Arizona.
2:24:31
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna name this person saying, Lincoln, at least you have the fucking balls to say what no one else is saying.
2:24:37
SPEAKER_01: Oh shit.
2:24:39
SPEAKER_01: So anytime I hear something from Navajo, I'm like, you know what?
2:24:42
SPEAKER_01: It's not important, it's not real.
2:24:45
SPEAKER_01: Because if it was real, we'd have true accountability, right?
2:24:49
SPEAKER_01: We'd have actual consequences for all of the mismanagement, not just for executive, for the council delegates, for council itself.
2:24:58
SPEAKER_01: Because no one's ever asking, well, let's see what council spends on themselves.
2:25:02
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
2:25:02
SPEAKER_01: Let's see what council spends on their travels, let's see their receipts.
2:25:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
2:25:06
SPEAKER_01: They're always asking, what does the president?
2:25:08
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not defending the president, uh Boonagrin.
2:25:11
SPEAKER_01: I'm just saying if transparency accountability is something that everyone wants, it should be across the board.
2:25:19
SPEAKER_01: Doesn't matter if you're the president, it shouldn't matter if you're the delegate, it shouldn't matter if you're even me.
2:25:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm happy to go ahead and show my P card transactions.
2:25:28
SPEAKER_01: For real.
2:25:29
SPEAKER_01: When I worked over at, you know, the Washington office, it'll show you I stayed at a couple of comfort ins, you know, not some four or five stars skimping by on small, like you know, minimal de minimis, you know, per diems for lunch, dinner, right?
2:25:43
SPEAKER_01: Trying to keep within my range.
2:25:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but you should see some of these delegates.
2:25:47
SPEAKER_01: Some of them, oh, I don't stay anywhere other than Sheratons.
2:25:50
SPEAKER_01: That's fucked up.
2:25:51
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Sheratons I know are way past your per diem.
2:25:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:25:56
SPEAKER_01: And it's just like, no one's ever asking this.
2:25:59
SPEAKER_01: Everyone gets caught up in the same bullshit of like, oh yeah, they're fighting for the people or whatever.
2:26:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh if you truly knew who some of these people were, other than their their public face of being on their Facebook lives or whatever it may be, you'd be disappointed as me.
2:26:18
SPEAKER_01: You'd be as cynical as me.
2:26:20
SPEAKER_01: You'd be as as disappointed and discouraged as me.
2:26:24
SPEAKER_01: And why I don't know.
2:26:26
SPEAKER_01: This is probably why I drink counselors and blue moons and shit.
2:26:32
SPEAKER_01: For real.
2:26:33
SPEAKER_01: You know, that's what I mean.
2:26:34
SPEAKER_01: That's like, it's like at some point, like it it doesn't really become important because you know, when this the supposed loss 24 million dollars in Navajo.
2:26:43
SPEAKER_01: Wow, when everyone's talking about it, it's like, well, what's what's legitimately being done about it?
2:26:48
SPEAKER_01: Like you can have all the hearings, you can have hearings up the ass about it all the time.
2:26:55
SPEAKER_01: Unless there's the FBI getting involved, nothing's gonna get done about it.
2:27:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:27:03
SPEAKER_01: I would rather everyone be honest about it.
2:27:05
SPEAKER_01: If every delegate said, hey, yes, I do travel first class because I'm a delegate.
2:27:11
SPEAKER_01: Good.
2:27:12
SPEAKER_01: I will fucking die in the hill and defending you and be like, hey, yes, the delegates do deserve some privilege.
2:27:19
SPEAKER_01: But every one of them are like, no, we're humble.
2:27:22
SPEAKER_01: We we fly on the backs of doves and ducks trying to get to our meetings at tribal consultations around the fucking nations.
2:27:31
SPEAKER_01: Like they're sugarcoating it.
2:27:32
SPEAKER_01: And we are, yeah, and it's like, we are buying two for one tacos over at Taco Bells because we're so poor.
2:27:38
SPEAKER_01: And it's just like whip it out then.
2:27:42
SPEAKER_01: Let's see it.
2:27:43
SPEAKER_01: As I tell to every guy that says, Oh, I have a big dick, then whip it out.
2:27:47
SPEAKER_01: Let's see it, then.
2:27:49
SPEAKER_01: Not one of them will do it because they're scared, because they know they're bluffing.
2:27:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
2:27:55
SPEAKER_01: They know that they have spent more than they should have, they know that they have indulged more than they should have.
2:28:00
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying that's wrong.
2:28:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm just saying be honest about it.
2:28:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, like show it, you know.
2:28:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:28:05
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I'm I'm perfectly fine if the Navajo Nation president and the council delegates fly first class.
2:28:13
SPEAKER_01: There's a certain privilege in being an elected.
2:28:15
SPEAKER_01: And for me, that's fine.
2:28:18
SPEAKER_01: I believe if you are one of those people, you fly first class, fine.
2:28:23
SPEAKER_01: You're elected into that office.
2:28:25
SPEAKER_01: I think that does come with some privilege.
2:28:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think it does.
2:28:29
SPEAKER_01: But if you're honest about it, that's fine.
2:28:30
SPEAKER_01: But if you're acting like, no, I rode in the cargo hold of Southwest fucking airlines eating my crackers and water, while the president flew luxurious, luxuriously, and then and it comes out that they were flying first class too.
2:28:46
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, that's where I have a problem.
2:28:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like I don't have a problem with you flying first class, just be honest about it, right?
2:28:56
SPEAKER_01: But when you're acting like you're, you know, on fucking Aladdin's carpet with saltines and water, saying, Oh, I flew across the country cold, wet, and topless and wet and but I'm here.
2:29:10
SPEAKER_01: But I'm here at the travel community, and I stayed throughout the day, and I'm like, cry me a fucking river.
2:29:18
SPEAKER_01: I roughed it.
2:29:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm like, this is why I roll my eyes.
2:29:21
SPEAKER_01: And if if if people have actually been watching some of those YouTubes of when you'll see me on some of those recorded lives like my eyes, because when some of the deluxe are like, oh, we did this, and I'm like Truthfully, uh coming from points of views, you know, yeah, you you you know where you stand on your own point of view.
2:29:42
SPEAKER_10: Coming from my point of view, like I truthfully, maybe maybe accountability, maybe I'm a part of the problem because I don't contribute to a whole lot of anything.
2:29:51
SPEAKER_10: I'm just at home living my life trying to get through my own personal problems.
2:29:55
SPEAKER_10: I don't fucking deal with politics, I don't deal with any of this shit.
2:30:00
SPEAKER_10: But I know when somebody's bluffing and bullshitting.
2:30:04
SPEAKER_10: So see, like, and I can see it.
2:30:06
SPEAKER_11: And I'm just like, yeah, you're full of shit.
2:30:09
SPEAKER_10: I would hope so too, because like when every time and here's what anytime it so there's a big group of Lincoln Marks, and there's a big group of Ryans out there who see what I see, who feel what I feel, like they're just living their life, but they can tell a bullshitter from a bullshitter.
2:30:26
SPEAKER_10: Yes, they're out there just like that's what I mean.
2:30:28
SPEAKER_01: That's what I mean.
2:30:28
SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, exactly.
2:30:29
SPEAKER_01: A bullshitter knows a bullshitter, a sailor knows a sailor.
2:30:32
SPEAKER_01: That's what exactly what I meant.
2:30:33
SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's like because if you could watch any Nabi Kiate, any Navajo council, whatever it is, and you can tell which delegate is just blowing smoke out of the we only make$35,000 a year.
2:30:49
SPEAKER_01: No, I don't even need to be.
2:30:53
SPEAKER_01: I it's no if yeah, it is.
2:30:57
SPEAKER_01: And they're like, we don't make that much, we only make fifty thousand dollars.
2:31:00
SPEAKER_01: And like, no, not even that.
2:31:03
SPEAKER_01: You do not make nearly that.
2:31:05
SPEAKER_01: Most delegates make upwards from$80,000 to$100,000 plus, but not one of them will go out there on the record and show that.
2:31:14
SPEAKER_01: The only person that I did see something like that was like um delegate Carl Slater, who showed his like his tax return.
2:31:20
SPEAKER_05: Name drop.
2:31:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he made like$70 something thousand dollars.
2:31:25
SPEAKER_01: Delegates, by statute, I think they they get a space salary of like$30,000 or something like that.
2:31:32
SPEAKER_01: Something, you know, yeah, modest.
2:31:35
SPEAKER_01: But where they make up their money is in their travel and what they claim to go to meetings for or reimbursements or whatever it may be.
2:31:43
SPEAKER_01: So anytime we hear delegates say, Oh, we don't make that much, I have been sent.
2:31:50
SPEAKER_01: I have been sent to the contrary to what you had said, and you do not make anywhere near what you are claiming on the record, yeah.
2:32:01
SPEAKER_01: So it's just like, my god, it's and and for me, it's like it should be obvious for people to see that, yeah.
2:32:09
SPEAKER_01: But so often when I go into the live or to the Facebook page of some other people, hundreds, hundreds of gullible Navos are like, she or he fights for the nation.
2:32:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh god, they do no wrong.
2:32:25
SPEAKER_01: She told me, or he told me that you were like this and you were like this, and it's like just word of mouth.
2:32:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I'm like, is that all it takes for you to be convinced so easily?
2:32:37
SPEAKER_01: Exactly, so easily, and that's why that's where I've come to to to have my perspective today.
2:32:44
SPEAKER_01: It's like that's why I've been so discouraged in public life and in politics, because it's like it's so easy to fool the average person.
2:32:52
SPEAKER_01: I could make a video, a delegate could make a video, the president could make a video, starch widespread support of supporters that would just it doesn't matter what we would say, would support us.
2:33:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, truth or non-truth, they would support us.
2:33:13
SPEAKER_01: And that's what pisses me off because I could do that.
2:33:18
SPEAKER_01: I have the authority and a power in my own platform to create a video that is so stupid, and hundreds of people will like it.
2:33:28
SPEAKER_01: And for me, I know that would be wrong.
2:33:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but delegates do that all the time, politicians do that all the time, and people are so gullible to believe it.
2:33:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's what discourages me is like, can do you not have the right reason, the right discernment to understand that you're being lied to?
2:33:48
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, they've never lied to me.
2:33:50
SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh my god, okay.
2:33:53
SPEAKER_01: All right, I'm gonna have I'm gonna have a shot of Everclear and a blue moon to your whatever.
2:34:00
SPEAKER_10: Every clear on ice, hold the ice.
2:34:02
SPEAKER_10: You know.
2:34:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:34:04
SPEAKER_01: Don't delute.
2:34:05
SPEAKER_01: Don't delute it.
2:34:07
SPEAKER_01: For real, right?
2:34:09
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
2:34:10
SPEAKER_01: It's just it's just been my cynical revelation since being within Napo politics.
2:34:19
SPEAKER_01: It's just it's not it's not real.
2:34:23
SPEAKER_01: It's not a real consequence, right?
2:34:27
SPEAKER_01: The feds laugh at us because we just continue to bicker and fight amongst ourselves and they continue to ask why we do what we do.
2:34:36
SPEAKER_01: But at some point, right, I think the feds will just be like, you know what?
2:34:44
SPEAKER_01: E if the largest tribe in the in North America, in the entire continent, the largest Indian tribe cannot even get it together, what does that mean for the rest of the 570 plus tribes?
2:35:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh should we just start figuring out which ones are salvageable?
2:35:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:35:06
SPEAKER_01: If I was the US government, I would do that because that would save the the US taxpayer money.
2:35:13
SPEAKER_01: Because the amount of money that the US taxpayer funds right into native governments and communities, right?
2:35:20
SPEAKER_01: It's just like, why are we why are we funding inner turmoil?
2:35:25
SPEAKER_01: Why are we funding inner struggle?
2:35:28
SPEAKER_01: Inner fights.
2:35:30
SPEAKER_01: Just look at the current council.
2:35:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:35:33
SPEAKER_01: It's just like it's it's just disharmonious all around.
2:35:37
SPEAKER_01: Everyone's in it for themselves.
2:35:38
SPEAKER_01: More delegates are just like, oh.
2:35:44
SPEAKER_01: And then you have the this is gonna get really political.
2:35:50
SPEAKER_08: Three, two.
2:35:52
SPEAKER_08: Maybe we need a drink.
2:35:56
SPEAKER_08: Did you get your drink?
2:35:58
SPEAKER_08: Did you get me another one?
2:35:59
SPEAKER_10: No.
2:36:01
SPEAKER_10: Have you ever tried a buzzball?
2:36:04
SPEAKER_01: I did and I blacked out.
2:36:06
SPEAKER_10: Have you uh there they have one?
2:36:09
SPEAKER_10: Just kidding.
2:36:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh I will okay.
2:36:13
SPEAKER_01: I I never I've never blacked out.
2:36:16
SPEAKER_01: Never in my life.
2:36:17
SPEAKER_01: I have.
2:36:18
SPEAKER_01: It's fucking scary.
2:36:20
SPEAKER_01: Well I've never blacked out.
2:36:21
SPEAKER_01: Kids at home don't ever black out.
2:36:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, see, here's the thing is like I when people talk about the there so I've learned there's different types of drunks, right?
2:36:28
SPEAKER_01: There's belligerent drunks, there's people that are just like angry in general.
2:36:32
SPEAKER_01: There's people that are really nice, and then the moment you get them liquored up, they get really mean.
2:36:36
SPEAKER_10: I I can't with those.
2:36:38
SPEAKER_01: I've just I've just always been a ha I don't want to say a happy drunk, but just someone that's like let's just happy, silly drunk.
2:36:44
SPEAKER_01: Let's just have let's just have a good time.
2:36:46
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
2:36:46
SPEAKER_01: And then I'm gonna go to bed.
2:36:48
SPEAKER_11: Yeah, I'm one of those.
2:36:50
SPEAKER_01: Hey, hey, that's that's how I've been.
2:36:53
SPEAKER_01: I've never been someone who's gets violent, gets belligerent, who doesn't have unsealed.
2:36:57
SPEAKER_10: I've never done any of that.
2:36:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, who doesn't have unseated anger, right?
2:37:00
SPEAKER_10: Like but I have blacked out, and I was told I was walking around and like moving stuff around and talking and having conversations, and I was just like, what?
2:37:10
SPEAKER_10: I don't remember any of that.
2:37:11
SPEAKER_10: It's like, yeah, you blacked out.
2:37:12
SPEAKER_10: It's on YouTube.
2:37:15
SPEAKER_10: Oh my gosh, I fucking hope not.
2:37:17
SPEAKER_10: But yes.
2:37:18
SPEAKER_10: But um do you want to try a buzzball with me for the first time?
2:37:22
SPEAKER_10: I've never tried this.
2:37:23
SPEAKER_10: No, uh it's a flavor.
2:37:25
SPEAKER_10: It's it's it's a it's a weird one.
2:37:28
SPEAKER_10: What is it?
2:37:29
SPEAKER_10: Pop tarts.
2:37:31
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, I'll try half.
2:37:34
SPEAKER_10: Let's try one.
2:37:35
SPEAKER_10: This is this this is fucking content right here.
2:37:39
SPEAKER_10: Let me get one.
2:37:40
SPEAKER_10: I got one.
2:37:40
SPEAKER_01: I'll try one.
2:37:42
SPEAKER_01: No.
2:37:43
SPEAKER_01: Are we doing one or half?
2:37:46
SPEAKER_07: One.
2:37:51
SPEAKER_01: Oh, Jesus.
2:37:52
SPEAKER_01: He's doing one each.
2:37:56
SPEAKER_01: So like uh this is not Pop Tart.
2:38:00
SPEAKER_01: This is frosted brown sugar cinnamon.
2:38:04
SPEAKER_10: It says on the top, Pop Tarts.
2:38:06
SPEAKER_10: Where?
2:38:07
SPEAKER_10: You see it?
2:38:08
SPEAKER_10: You don't see it?
2:38:11
SPEAKER_10: This is this has been on TikTok, and I've wanted to try one right there.
2:38:15
SPEAKER_10: Look.
2:38:15
SPEAKER_10: Sorry, I weren't my contacts.
2:38:19
SPEAKER_10: And uh, these have been on TikTok for a little bit.
2:38:23
SPEAKER_10: Do I need a the first thing?
2:38:24
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, see on the bottom, it's all white right here.
2:38:26
SPEAKER_10: Look, if you shake this right here, it's kind of like cracking it.
2:38:30
SPEAKER_10: It's it's alcohol.
2:38:32
SPEAKER_10: You should do this with coffee.
2:38:35
SPEAKER_10: But um, I've these been on TikTok recently, and I was just like, No, no, no.
2:38:40
SPEAKER_10: So let me tell you right now, the first thing I thought, they were like Pop Tart buzzballs.
2:38:46
SPEAKER_10: You've been one for buzz balls.
2:38:48
SPEAKER_10: You've had buzzballs?
2:38:49
SPEAKER_01: I yes.
2:38:51
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I like if if I go to the lake and I'm like on my paddle board, like just yeah, I'll have a buzzball or something.
2:38:58
SPEAKER_01: But there's one I want to try.
2:38:59
SPEAKER_01: It's uh Witch's Brew.
2:39:01
SPEAKER_01: It's a boat.
2:39:02
SPEAKER_01: Oh it's like it's like a it's the seasonal, like right now.
2:39:06
SPEAKER_01: I've yet to find it in anywhere.
2:39:09
SPEAKER_10: So so these were really hard to find.
2:39:11
SPEAKER_10: The only place I found them was Zia.
2:39:14
unknown: Where's that at?
2:39:15
SPEAKER_10: It's a Glani bar.
2:39:17
SPEAKER_10: It's not even a bar, it's a Glani liquor store.
2:39:19
SPEAKER_10: It's the one upper fruitland.
2:39:21
SPEAKER_10: Or not even Upper.
2:39:22
SPEAKER_10: I just I was just there.
2:39:24
SPEAKER_01: You were just there in your room.
2:39:26
SPEAKER_01: I remember because I went there looking for Witch's Brew.
2:39:29
SPEAKER_01: It's a it's a Buzzball Witch's brew.
2:39:31
SPEAKER_01: They don't have it there.
2:39:32
SPEAKER_10: They have a vampire.
2:39:33
SPEAKER_01: I did see one over in Gallup, but it was like the big, huge economy sized one.
2:39:38
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not gonna drink that.
2:39:40
SPEAKER_01: I just want like a regular petite size.
2:39:43
SPEAKER_10: I I love I love the um margarita buzzball one, the green one.
2:39:49
SPEAKER_10: I like that one.
2:39:50
SPEAKER_10: I like I like a few of the ones.
2:39:52
SPEAKER_10: I like the cranberry apple one.
2:39:54
SPEAKER_10: But this one, I said I saw it on TikTok, and some one of the girls that I follow on there, she's she's a she's a dispatch.
2:40:03
SPEAKER_10: What do they call it when they call police dispatch and the operator who answers like hello, police dispatch?
2:40:08
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, it's the police dispatch.
2:40:09
SPEAKER_10: She's one of those.
2:40:10
SPEAKER_10: And she's so funny.
2:40:11
SPEAKER_10: She tells the stories.
2:40:12
SPEAKER_10: But she opened one of these and she said it was amazing.
2:40:15
SPEAKER_10: It was so delicious.
2:40:16
SPEAKER_10: And the first, my first thought was pop tarts and alcohol.
2:40:20
SPEAKER_10: Uh uh, I don't want to try that shit.
2:40:23
SPEAKER_10: It reminds me of Captain Crunch.
2:40:25
SPEAKER_10: Okay.
2:40:25
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, and she was drinking it and she said it was fucking amazing.
2:40:28
SPEAKER_10: And then my brother was like, hey, look at these.
2:40:30
SPEAKER_10: And I was just like, I'm gonna try when he's like, let me know when you do, let me know what it tastes like.
2:40:34
SPEAKER_10: It can't be as bad as the elf buzzball.
2:40:37
SPEAKER_01: To good health and winning the lottery in world peace.
2:40:39
SPEAKER_01: Here we go.
2:40:42
SPEAKER_01: This podcast.
2:40:42
SPEAKER_01: Cheers podcast.
2:40:50
SPEAKER_10: Cinnamon.
2:40:51
SPEAKER_10: It tastes like Hobby Lobby.
2:40:53
SPEAKER_10: It's like Christmas and a buzz ball.
2:40:56
SPEAKER_10: It tastes like an ornament.
2:40:58
SPEAKER_10: It tastes like a Christmas ornament.
2:41:00
SPEAKER_10: See those leaves right there?
2:41:01
SPEAKER_10: It tastes like those leaves.
2:41:02
SPEAKER_10: Look, look at that.
2:41:03
SPEAKER_10: It tastes like it's like it tastes like Hobby Lobby.
2:41:07
SPEAKER_01: It tastes like like fall, autumn.
2:41:10
SPEAKER_01: It tastes like not like a Pop Tart.
2:41:13
SPEAKER_01: It tastes like it's gonna give it's like it tastes like it's gonna give me an upset stomach in like the next two hours.
2:41:19
SPEAKER_10: I'm gonna be a rocket here in a few minutes.
2:41:22
SPEAKER_10: Pop tarts, buzz balls, chillers, frosted brown sugar cinnamon.
2:41:26
SPEAKER_10: Do you see milk in there?
2:41:28
SPEAKER_10: Holy shit.
2:41:29
SPEAKER_10: I did not even look.
2:41:30
SPEAKER_10: Every native can't drink milk.
2:41:32
SPEAKER_10: Fuck this shit.
2:41:33
SPEAKER_10: Exactly what I'm talking about.
2:41:34
SPEAKER_10: It does, it doesn't say Pop Tarts.
2:41:38
SPEAKER_10: No, it doesn't say.
2:41:40
SPEAKER_10: But what we are trying for the first time.
2:41:43
SPEAKER_10: It looks really milky, that's why.
2:41:45
SPEAKER_10: It does.
2:41:46
SPEAKER_10: It's like grayish, not even brown, it's like whitish.
2:41:51
SPEAKER_10: It's very cinnamony.
2:41:53
SPEAKER_10: Well, after a while, it's kind of tasting like eggnog.
2:41:56
SPEAKER_10: Do you like eggnog?
2:41:57
SPEAKER_10: Everybody, welcome back to the NPR hour.
2:42:00
SPEAKER_03: I'm your host.
2:42:03
SPEAKER_01: We have here our eg.
2:42:05
SPEAKER_10: It does taste like eggnog.
2:42:09
SPEAKER_01: And our and my co-host Ryan.
2:42:11
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm the Coles now.
2:42:14
SPEAKER_07: Oh, um.
2:42:15
SPEAKER_01: His stomach's gonna get upset here in a second.
2:42:18
SPEAKER_07: There you go.
2:42:24
SPEAKER_09: I won't lie.
2:42:25
SPEAKER_00: I I would never buy this on my own.
2:42:28
SPEAKER_00: This is hurting my heart for some reason.
2:42:29
SPEAKER_10: I don't worry, I got the thumbs.
2:42:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this is hurting my heart for some reason.
2:42:37
SPEAKER_10: After?
2:42:38
SPEAKER_10: Like, no.
2:42:39
SPEAKER_10: Like like I like I was saying, I would never just be like, ooh, Pop Tarts Buzzballs.
2:42:45
SPEAKER_10: I'd be like, fuck no.
2:42:46
SPEAKER_08: I'm just reading, it's 15%.
2:42:48
SPEAKER_08: What's 15% mean?
2:42:52
SPEAKER_10: Ooh, it's a lightning bolt.
2:42:55
SPEAKER_01: What's that mean?
2:42:56
SPEAKER_01: You've been drinking for quite some time.
2:42:58
SPEAKER_01: You know what 15% means.
2:43:00
SPEAKER_01: But there are listeners who don't know what that means.
2:43:06
SPEAKER_01: We were just talking about a liar knows a liar.
2:43:08
SPEAKER_01: Hush.
2:43:09
SPEAKER_01: You know exactly what 15%.
2:43:13
SPEAKER_01: Holy shit.
2:43:14
SPEAKER_01: I put mine down.
2:43:14
SPEAKER_01: I can't.
2:43:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's okay.
2:43:17
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
2:43:17
SPEAKER_01: It would be good if it was a little bit like if it was put in like some hot chocolate or something.
2:43:21
SPEAKER_01: It'd be, yeah, that'd be perfect.
2:43:23
SPEAKER_11: Okay.
2:43:24
SPEAKER_01: I feel like hold on.
2:43:29
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
2:43:32
SPEAKER_10: Have you ever put like those Irish cream liquors in your coffee?
2:43:35
SPEAKER_10: Have you ever had alcoholics?
2:43:36
SPEAKER_10: Bailey's?
2:43:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Bailey's.
2:43:37
SPEAKER_10: Like Bailey's, yeah.
2:43:38
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, exactly.
2:43:39
SPEAKER_10: Like Bailey's.
2:43:40
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
2:43:40
SPEAKER_01: Well, I haven't had Bailey's in my coffee in for some time, only because I work.
2:43:45
SPEAKER_10: I had this one.
2:43:45
SPEAKER_10: One called RC and it was an Irish cream.
2:43:48
SPEAKER_10: It was my initials.
2:43:49
SPEAKER_10: And that's that's why my mom bought it for me.
2:43:51
SPEAKER_10: On the bottle it said RC and it was an Irish cream liquor.
2:43:55
SPEAKER_10: And I was just like, oh wow.
2:43:56
SPEAKER_10: And it says you can put it in your coffee.
2:43:58
SPEAKER_10: That's that's the kind of ad.
2:44:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I I do and here's the thing.
2:44:04
SPEAKER_01: I wrestle with like three schools of thought.
2:44:08
SPEAKER_01: One on my my religious belief, right?
2:44:11
SPEAKER_01: People are like, oh, you shouldn't be drinking because you're a Christian or whatever maybe, right?
2:44:16
SPEAKER_01: Whatever, whatever religious, you know, thing.
2:44:18
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
2:44:18
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, first of all, Jesus loved a good drink.
2:44:22
SPEAKER_01: Read any part of the scripture.
2:44:24
SPEAKER_01: He always had a glass of wine with him.
2:44:25
SPEAKER_10: He turned himself into wine.
2:44:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:44:27
SPEAKER_01: That was his blood.
2:44:28
unknown: Yeah.
2:44:28
SPEAKER_01: So it's what?
2:44:29
SPEAKER_01: Well, well, here's the thing is that the scripture says drinking's not a sin.
2:44:35
SPEAKER_01: Drunkenness is.
2:44:37
SPEAKER_01: That's the difference that I always point out to people.
2:44:40
SPEAKER_01: When it comes to my my native or Navajo side, whenever it's like, oh, you shouldn't be drinking.
2:44:46
SPEAKER_01: I'm just having a glass of wine with my steak.
2:44:49
SPEAKER_01: I'm having a beer with crab legs.
2:44:51
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
2:44:52
SPEAKER_01: I'm having a drink with my friends.
2:44:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm not I'm not dependent on alcohol, right?
2:44:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:44:59
SPEAKER_01: For me, it's I hate using this word because it sounds nasty.
2:45:02
SPEAKER_01: It's it's the lubricant.
2:45:04
SPEAKER_01: Oh, like that's so nasty.
2:45:07
SPEAKER_11: I thought you were talking about a completely different word.
2:45:09
SPEAKER_01: It's the social lubricant to be like, okay, but like I'm not dying for a drink.
2:45:14
SPEAKER_01: I'm not looking for a drink, right?
2:45:16
SPEAKER_01: You're not killing everything you have for that one drink.
2:45:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm not waking up and be like grabbing her on one arm and each.
2:45:26
SPEAKER_01: It's just like, no, it's like, no, like I'm that's never because you know, when I when my my mom was talking about like my my dad's side of being pure alcoholics.
2:45:36
SPEAKER_01: Like when my dad was a like a teenager or like even like a preteen, when my mom first started courting him or dating or whatever it may be.
2:45:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:45:46
SPEAKER_01: Um I don't know my dad's dad, my grandpa, because he died something.
2:45:52
SPEAKER_01: I don't know, he died.
2:45:53
SPEAKER_01: Everyone dies for me.
2:45:55
SPEAKER_01: He um he um I guess when my my mom and dad were drinking in the room, my grandpa came in and was like, Hey son, um, do you have any beers?
2:46:11
SPEAKER_01: And my dad, who was like a preteen or like a young teen, whatever, reaches underneath the bed, pulls out a six-pack, and gives it to him.
2:46:19
SPEAKER_01: What the fuck?
2:46:20
SPEAKER_01: As a kid, and that that was like the gravity of like how far my dad and his father and the alcoholics in my family went down.
2:46:32
SPEAKER_01: For me, like I'm I always I always think of myself as a reasonable person, right?
2:46:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, when it comes to things that dull my reasoning skills, alcoholic is probably one of those things that dull it.
2:46:48
SPEAKER_01: Therefore, I'm not gonna drink when it comes to those important obligations, when it comes to work, when it comes to those things, right?
2:46:57
SPEAKER_01: If it comes to my downtime, if it comes to having a social event, or if it comes to like, oh, like I had a really shitty fucking week.
2:47:06
SPEAKER_01: My name was dropped for no fucking reason.
2:47:09
SPEAKER_01: Again, I'm gonna go ahead and have a drink.
2:47:13
SPEAKER_01: I feel you on that.
2:47:14
SPEAKER_01: And then I'm gonna go to bed, I'm gonna wake up in the morning, I'm gonna do my exercises and live my life.
2:47:20
SPEAKER_01: That's the difference.
2:47:22
SPEAKER_01: Whereas I see other people who are just dying for a drink, who are just wanting to be drunk constantly.
2:47:28
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, that's a problem.
2:47:31
SPEAKER_01: But when when when people are and I if it's people like you or me who are more visible than not, and they see us with a drink in our hand, it's like you're always drinking.
2:47:42
SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, you just happen to see me with a drink at that time.
2:47:47
SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
2:47:49
SPEAKER_10: I I feel you on that.
2:47:51
SPEAKER_10: There's there's I have felt that like eyes watching me, and they're just like, oh, every time I see you, you're drinking, or you can't do this when you're drinking, or I thought you were better than that, and you're just drinking.
2:48:04
SPEAKER_10: And it's just like I'm not I'm not crazy, I'm not blowing everything up, I'm not smashing things, I'm not getting mad, I'm not sitting there by the fire crying like that Ninja Turtles thing, you know?
2:48:16
SPEAKER_10: It's like, bro, I'm just chilling.
2:48:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:48:19
SPEAKER_06: What's wrong with having a casual drink?
2:48:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know?
2:48:22
SPEAKER_01: It's it's and and that's what I always deduce it down to is like social drinking.
2:48:26
SPEAKER_01: But like, I think the stigma in in native commun, I don't even say now, it's like native communities.
2:48:32
SPEAKER_01: Like anytime you have a drink, he's always drinking.
2:48:37
SPEAKER_01: He's drinking.
2:48:38
SPEAKER_01: You could do this.
2:48:39
SPEAKER_01: So it wasn't for that drink.
2:48:41
SPEAKER_01: I saw him drinking.
2:48:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:48:45
SPEAKER_01: So like I feel like there's no winning.
2:48:48
SPEAKER_01: And again, it goes back to what I my my own personal new philosophy is like just live your life.
2:48:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
2:48:54
SPEAKER_01: Live your life.
2:48:56
SPEAKER_01: Every one of you, like, I mean, do it within reason, do it responsibly.
2:49:00
SPEAKER_10: But like, but like that that is a big part of everybody there.
2:49:05
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, I mean it's just have fun.
2:49:08
SPEAKER_10: If you know you're gonna get fucking mad and fuck shit up and be like, oh blah blah blah blah being drunk.
2:49:15
SPEAKER_10: That's not for you.
2:49:16
SPEAKER_10: But yeah, you know, if if it does it takes like how how we identify ourselves right now, it does take some reflection.
2:49:23
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, we are some funny people who can have fun and laugh about shit and just have a good time, you know.
2:49:30
SPEAKER_10: Like be silly about having our drinks, then fine, you know, have your drink.
2:49:36
SPEAKER_10: But if you know and your friends know, and everybody knows, you get too silly, too ridiculous when you're drunk.
2:49:44
SPEAKER_10: Never mind.
2:49:45
SPEAKER_10: I don't even say it's like too silly.
2:49:46
SPEAKER_11: I'm being nice about it.
2:49:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean you just told me don't hold back on this podcast.
2:49:55
SPEAKER_01: It's not even being it's not even being about being nice.
2:49:57
SPEAKER_01: Because like there's people that you just know they just become belligerent violent.
2:50:00
SPEAKER_01: I know a few.
2:50:01
SPEAKER_01: Well, I know one.
2:50:02
SPEAKER_01: I know and it and it always baffles me that are like they continue to drink.
2:50:06
SPEAKER_01: It's like you know you're just gonna fuck up the night.
2:50:09
SPEAKER_01: There are videos on TikTok like that.
2:50:11
SPEAKER_10: Have you seen those?
2:50:13
SPEAKER_10: I've got them saved of you.
2:50:14
SPEAKER_11: Yeah.
2:50:16
SPEAKER_10: Of you! That's the last thing I heard.
2:50:19
SPEAKER_10: No, but there there are videos of TikTok where they're just like where they well, I guess they're acknowledging it finally.
2:50:27
SPEAKER_10: It's just hurting my heart.
2:50:28
SPEAKER_10: They're like, I heard this.
2:50:31
SPEAKER_10: Wait, never mind.
2:50:32
SPEAKER_10: I got my words twisted.
2:50:33
SPEAKER_10: It's the buzz ball talking.
2:50:35
SPEAKER_10: But they acknowledged the fact that they were on a there was a guy who was talking about he was on a boat ride, and he was just like, I knew I was an alcoholic who cannot handle his liquor, so I chose not to drink.
2:50:48
SPEAKER_10: When all my friends were drinking, I knew I couldn't handle it, so I chose not to drink.
2:50:52
SPEAKER_10: Because of this experience, and I tested it, I put it to the test, and I said, if I fail on this test today, while we go out to the lake and have a few beers, everybody's having beers.
2:51:05
SPEAKER_10: I'm gonna have my few beers too.
2:51:07
SPEAKER_10: I'm testing it.
2:51:08
SPEAKER_10: If I fail this test, then that's it.
2:51:11
SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of people even I think here's the thing.
2:51:14
SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of people lack even that self-reflection.
2:51:19
SPEAKER_01: Yes, that self-awareness.
2:51:22
SPEAKER_01: They don't have that ability to stop and point that mirror back on themselves and be like, okay, is it me?
2:51:29
SPEAKER_10: It's not really people.
2:51:30
SPEAKER_10: It's it's needed.
2:51:33
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you for you saying it.
2:51:41
SPEAKER_11: I don't give a fuck.
2:51:42
SPEAKER_11: What do I got to lose?
2:51:44
SPEAKER_01: You just you just keep on.
2:51:46
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be called, I don't want to be randomly called out again.
2:51:48
SPEAKER_10: So nobody that called me out.
2:51:50
SPEAKER_10: I'm barely even on fucking social media.
2:51:53
SPEAKER_01: I just I I and here's the thing is I wish I was never on social media.
2:51:56
SPEAKER_01: Now that I know like the backlash, and now that I I mean it's nice when people come up to me and they're like, oh hi Lincoln, I love your videos, I love what you have to say.
2:52:05
SPEAKER_01: I like that, yeah.
2:52:07
SPEAKER_01: But then there's also, you know, with the sours comes the sweets, right?
2:52:11
SPEAKER_01: It's you get the backlash of it.
2:52:14
SPEAKER_01: You get the people that are just like, oh, this is what I heard about you.
2:52:17
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, who the fuck are you?
2:52:19
SPEAKER_01: Who are you?
2:52:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:52:21
SPEAKER_01: And it's like this is a random person that comes up and be like, oh, I know all about you.
2:52:25
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you know about me from what I've shown you on my social media.
2:52:30
SPEAKER_01: That is not indicative of knowing me.
2:52:34
SPEAKER_01: If you know more about me, please tell me because God knows I'm still trying to figure me out.
2:52:41
SPEAKER_01: And I've gotten that like so many times.
2:52:43
SPEAKER_01: You know me, I don't even fucking know me.
2:52:46
SPEAKER_01: It's like it's I was gonna use a derogatory word.
2:52:50
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say something, but it's just like these random people that will come up.
2:52:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I know who you are, Lincoln.
2:52:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, first of all, I don't know who you are.
2:52:59
SPEAKER_01: Second of all, please tell me about me because I don't even know much about me.
2:53:03
SPEAKER_01: But tell me, enlighten me.
2:53:06
SPEAKER_01: And it's it's it becomes so frustrating that people think like they know you because you you have a podcast, you have a TikTok page, because you have a Facebook, whatever it may be, they they have deduced from what they have seen and what their friends have fed the bullshit about you, they think they have already known you.
2:53:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:53:28
SPEAKER_01: And that's what I hate when like random people are like, oh, I know who you are.
2:53:33
SPEAKER_01: You have no fucking idea.
2:53:34
SPEAKER_01: Not one fucking bit.
2:53:37
SPEAKER_01: And I've been good at keeping a lot of me out of the public eye about it.
2:53:41
SPEAKER_10: See, when I started this podcast, um, I feel like a lot of people really got to know me because I kind of opened up on a lot of shit.
2:53:49
SPEAKER_10: Uh it's been going through my mind.
2:53:51
SPEAKER_10: I've talked about when I I'm pretty sure I talked about when I tried to like off myself.
2:53:58
SPEAKER_10: I've talked about when I bullied people in high school.
2:54:01
SPEAKER_10: I've talked about being nice.
2:54:03
SPEAKER_10: I talked about a lot of stuff, and that was my therapy for a minute.
2:54:07
SPEAKER_10: I'm glad I made it.
2:54:08
SPEAKER_10: And yeah, yeah.
2:54:09
SPEAKER_10: You know, hey, ah, you're on the podcast.
2:54:13
SPEAKER_10: I yay.
2:54:14
SPEAKER_10: There's a lot of people who are like, hey, I want to be on his podcast.
2:54:16
SPEAKER_10: I want to be on his podcast.
2:54:18
SPEAKER_10: I like his podcast.
2:54:20
SPEAKER_10: And then that was a big up for me because I'm just like my big eye opener.
2:54:24
SPEAKER_10: I think I was talking about earlier when I drank almost drank myself to death and I came to terms like that.
2:54:30
SPEAKER_10: And I wanted to do something positive.
2:54:32
SPEAKER_10: So I was just like, I was this podcast was um inspired by Tom Green.
2:54:37
SPEAKER_10: You know Tom Green from uh Road Trip.
2:54:42
SPEAKER_10: Road Trip.
2:54:43
SPEAKER_10: Remember, he's have you seen Road Trip?
2:54:45
SPEAKER_10: Uh 2003 Tom Green show.
2:54:48
SPEAKER_10: He's a weird fucking guy.
2:54:49
SPEAKER_10: Freddie got fingered.
2:54:50
SPEAKER_10: Have you seen Freddie Got Fingered?
2:54:52
SPEAKER_10: I got the movie right there.
2:54:53
SPEAKER_10: Was this an MTV thing?
2:54:54
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
2:54:55
SPEAKER_01: I I I probably will remind myself if I've seen something.
2:54:58
SPEAKER_10: I will show you.
2:54:59
SPEAKER_10: But, anyways, he was doing stuff in his living room and he just had his TV.
2:55:05
SPEAKER_10: He made it look like like the tonight show, but it he like like how my setup is here now.
2:55:11
SPEAKER_10: Like cool, yeah.
2:55:13
SPEAKER_10: And this was back in like '97, '98.
2:55:15
SPEAKER_10: He had a box TV on a desk and he built the whole set, and it was all like old and it was so silly looking, but he pulled it off like a tonight show.
2:55:26
SPEAKER_10: Like, as if like I put a desk right here and I built a backdrop of stars in a city, and you're sitting here, I'm like, this is Ryan Cleveland, Ryan C on the Tonight Show with Lincoln March.
2:55:37
SPEAKER_10: Yeah, yeah.
2:55:38
SPEAKER_10: Like he built that and he did it all in his living room, and it got out, it got a following.
2:55:43
SPEAKER_10: After I f found out about um Tom Green, I went to Steve O from Jackass.
2:55:49
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
2:55:50
SPEAKER_10: And he started doing his podcast, and I was like, That's so fucking funny.
2:55:54
SPEAKER_10: I want to do that.
2:55:55
SPEAKER_10: I like doing that.
2:55:56
SPEAKER_10: And he started doing other things and all kinds of other stuff, and I was just like, That's positivity that I would love to share.
2:56:03
SPEAKER_10: Like and I did.
2:56:04
SPEAKER_10: You know, I started doing I even I wasn't even ashamed that I was drinking alcohol.
2:56:08
SPEAKER_10: I made a video about a tequila sunrise drink.
2:56:12
SPEAKER_10: And it's still on my tick or no my Instagram page.
2:56:15
SPEAKER_10: And I like made content for the first time.
2:56:17
SPEAKER_10: I can't do tequila, by the way.
2:56:19
SPEAKER_10: But yeah, go ahead.
2:56:20
SPEAKER_10: Try a tequila sunrise anymore.
2:56:21
SPEAKER_10: I'll make one for you.
2:56:22
SPEAKER_09: You're gonna be silly as well.
2:56:24
SPEAKER_09: But anyways, on top of that, it's it's I did the exorcist thing with tequila.
2:56:28
SPEAKER_01: I can't do tequila anymore.
2:56:29
SPEAKER_01: I can't I I that's why I only do Tito's.
2:56:32
SPEAKER_01: If it's vodka, that's fine, but it's gotta be Tito's.
2:56:35
SPEAKER_01: I can't do tequila.
2:56:36
SPEAKER_01: The last time I did tequila so hard was I was in college, threw up black vomit.
2:56:44
SPEAKER_01: Why was it black?
2:56:45
SPEAKER_07: I don't know.
2:56:46
SPEAKER_07: I think I was bleeding.
2:56:48
SPEAKER_07: You probably drink a candle.
2:56:49
SPEAKER_07: Look at that candle.
2:56:50
SPEAKER_01: You're like, oh, give me some no, never again.
2:56:53
SPEAKER_01: Because I remember like it was like two days of me at home recovering.
2:56:59
SPEAKER_01: That was like the worst hangover ever.
2:57:02
SPEAKER_01: And that was all tequila.
2:57:04
SPEAKER_01: Never again.
2:57:04
SPEAKER_05: What kind of tequila?
2:57:05
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what it was.
2:57:07
SPEAKER_01: The bartender said tequila.
2:57:12
SPEAKER_01: So never again.
2:57:13
SPEAKER_01: Even like even like, oh, let's do shots of tequila.
2:57:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no, you guys can do that.
2:57:17
SPEAKER_01: Three days later, you'll be able to do that.
2:57:18
SPEAKER_01: You can give me a shot of uh of Tito's, and I'll do that.
2:57:21
SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, my me and my inner Beth Dutton, we can do tequila.
2:57:25
SPEAKER_01: Uh not tequila, um Tito's vodka.
2:57:29
SPEAKER_01: But I can't do tequila.
2:57:32
SPEAKER_01: It's just it's it's just it hurts.
2:57:34
SPEAKER_10: Yeah.
2:57:35
SPEAKER_10: On top of that, but yeah, I made my first content video and I was just like, I can do this, you know.
2:57:42
SPEAKER_10: And then I invested in a new MacBook with iMovie, the the more advanced version.
2:57:48
SPEAKER_10: Oh yeah.
2:57:49
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, okay, I can do this, I can do this.
2:57:52
SPEAKER_10: And I was like, yo, I got some microphones, I got a nice computer, and then boom interface, and then I was like, I I I it still comes up every single year the memory of I'm gonna start a podcast.
2:58:04
SPEAKER_01: In every podcast, like studio or setup that I've that I've been invited on, not once have I ever seen these umbrella lights.
2:58:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh, legitness.
2:58:16
SPEAKER_10: That was legitness.
2:58:17
SPEAKER_10: That's exactly what I'm saying.
2:58:19
SPEAKER_01: That's exactly what I'm saying.
2:58:20
SPEAKER_01: Like, I have not yet seen any of the studio quality shit.
2:58:24
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I wish your viewers could see this, but like it I have yet to see any of these umbrella with these lights.
2:58:31
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, okay.
2:58:32
SPEAKER_01: These backlights shining back at us.
2:58:34
SPEAKER_01: Because like I've been on you know podcasts where the the the set was of course cool, right?
2:58:39
SPEAKER_01: But like never with the backlight just hitting the umbrella.
2:58:46
SPEAKER_10: Okay bouncing back on us.
2:58:47
SPEAKER_09: I'm like, alright, alright.
2:58:48
SPEAKER_10: Alright, alright, alright.
2:58:49
SPEAKER_10: So somebody's gonna come up with their umbrellas.
2:58:53
SPEAKER_08: I can't do this.
2:58:54
SPEAKER_10: Just just throw it back.
2:58:56
SPEAKER_10: I did.
2:58:57
SPEAKER_10: No, no, no.
2:58:57
SPEAKER_10: So so somebody's gonna come up and be like, Lincoln, um, I got my umbrellas.
2:59:03
SPEAKER_10: Now you bring up what's next?
2:59:05
SPEAKER_10: The couch.
2:59:06
SPEAKER_10: Look at the couch.
2:59:07
SPEAKER_10: What do you see about my couch?
2:59:09
SPEAKER_10: It's standing up.
2:59:11
SPEAKER_10: How many people compromise their fucking couch?
2:59:14
SPEAKER_10: Don't don't don't tell them how my couch looks.
2:59:16
SPEAKER_10: But you know right now how my fucking couch looks because I compromise that shit for your podcast because I I'm an overachiever.
2:59:25
SPEAKER_10: I like to have random ass shit.
2:59:28
SPEAKER_10: It looks pleasant, it looks nice, but really for your listeners, it's it's unnaturally looking at me.
2:59:36
SPEAKER_01: Now it is.
2:59:37
SPEAKER_01: He's like next to Chucky and like two other like full-size mannequin dead body dolls and body dolls, and I got a lot of random shit.
2:59:48
SPEAKER_01: I've got a little bit of bone dust.
2:59:50
SPEAKER_10: I can make one of the move.
2:59:51
SPEAKER_10: I'd I'd rather you not.
2:59:53
SPEAKER_10: I have I've been burning cedar in this house trying to get rid of shit.
2:59:57
SPEAKER_01: No, there's cedar does nothing.
2:59:59
SPEAKER_10: Really?
3:00:00
SPEAKER_10: Really?
3:00:01
SPEAKER_01: Without your intention to actually remove anything, it does nothing.
3:00:04
SPEAKER_10: What if I have high intention to move stuff?
3:00:07
SPEAKER_01: Your intention moves more than the actual cedar does.
3:00:10
SPEAKER_01: Your cedar's just a conduit.
3:00:12
SPEAKER_10: Oh wow.
3:00:13
SPEAKER_10: So I could just walk around and tell it to leave.
3:00:18
SPEAKER_10: People charge me for this kind of advice.
3:00:20
SPEAKER_11: Okay, never mind.
3:00:21
SPEAKER_11: Never mind, never mind.
3:00:23
SPEAKER_11: Off topic! Okay.
3:00:25
SPEAKER_11: I'm gonna send you an invoice right now.
3:00:27
SPEAKER_11: I am I I got a lot of evil killer murder shit around my house, but yeah, anyways, anyways.
3:00:35
SPEAKER_01: But hey, we're if it's any consolation, I don't sense any of that.
3:00:40
SPEAKER_01: You're fine.
3:00:41
SPEAKER_10: There's because I burned cedar.
3:00:45
SPEAKER_11: I'm just kidding.
3:00:46
SPEAKER_11: I'm just kidding.
3:00:47
SPEAKER_07: But hey, we are reaching.
3:00:48
SPEAKER_07: That's why it smells like a smoky dog in here.
3:00:51
SPEAKER_10: It's that it's that buzz ball you're drinking.
3:00:54
SPEAKER_10: But we are reaching almost four hours.
3:00:57
SPEAKER_10: So we're I think we should bring this podcast to an end.
3:01:01
SPEAKER_10: Maybe sometime we can come back and do another podcast, dude.
3:01:04
SPEAKER_01: Let's let's finish this last two minutes out of because a lot of your listeners will not even know who I am.
3:01:10
SPEAKER_01: Okay, this is Lincoln Mark.
3:01:13
SPEAKER_01: They don't know who I am.
3:01:14
SPEAKER_02: Uh, they will let me let me just so the thing's off.
3:01:19
SPEAKER_01: It's fine.
3:01:20
SPEAKER_01: Let me do let me do my intro.
3:01:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, do this intro.
3:01:23
SPEAKER_01: Of course.
3:01:24
SPEAKER_01: Hey everybody, my name is Lincoln Mark.
3:01:26
SPEAKER_01: I have you may have seen me online on any kind of like maybe like Instagram, TikTok, or even Facebook talking and criticizing about tribal nations, even our own Navajo Nation government.
3:01:40
SPEAKER_01: There have been many videos shared about me of me criticizing and getting my thoughts about it.
3:01:46
SPEAKER_01: Um, I do have a TikTok, Link Witty on TikTok.
3:01:51
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and it, you know, it this is one of those things that I've I've always been talking about.
3:01:56
SPEAKER_01: I've stepped back from political commentary just to kind of focus on my life, which I think all of you guys should focus on your lies.
3:02:04
SPEAKER_10: But and his Instagram is capital L.
3:02:10
SPEAKER_10: All capitals L space I space in space C space O space L space in.
3:02:19
SPEAKER_01: You will find you're gonna be dis You're gonna be no.
3:02:23
SPEAKER_01: This is why I want them to go to my TikTok because actually I'm talking about TikTok.
3:02:26
SPEAKER_01: Look at my Instagram.
3:02:27
SPEAKER_01: You can look at my Instagram, it's empty.
3:02:29
SPEAKER_01: It's empty.
3:02:30
SPEAKER_01: It is, it is because I removed all of my and your Facebook page is black.
3:02:34
SPEAKER_01: Because of yeah, because of that fucking deep state shit.
3:02:37
SPEAKER_01: The guy who hijacked my photo.
3:02:39
SPEAKER_01: I took it all down.
3:02:41
SPEAKER_01: The only place that I'll be spreading any of my propaganda is TikTok.
3:02:45
SPEAKER_01: TikTok.
3:02:46
SPEAKER_10: That's exactly where I found you, actually, was TikTok.
3:02:50
SPEAKER_10: But yes, this is Lincoln Mark.
3:02:53
SPEAKER_10: This has been an episode of the Curse Words and Cursive Podcasts.
3:02:57
SPEAKER_10: Coming back after a fucking year.
3:03:00
SPEAKER_10: And we are here.
3:03:02
SPEAKER_10: We had a good fucking time.
3:03:04
SPEAKER_10: And I'm topless right now.
3:03:08
SPEAKER_01: Titties out.
3:03:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm titties out.
3:03:10
SPEAKER_01: This is this is a rare occasion.
3:03:12
SPEAKER_01: We we I'm so honored to be back for over what a year to to come back and to do this uh cursive and cursive and cursed words podcast.
3:03:25
SPEAKER_10: Curse words and curse cursive and cursed words the podcast.
3:03:32
SPEAKER_10: Satan Latin.
3:03:33
SPEAKER_10: Satan Latin.
3:03:35
SPEAKER_01: Alazum Bada Pav.
3:03:38
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, I'm very glad to be a part of this return for Mr.
3:03:43
SPEAKER_01: the famous Ryan C.
3:03:45
SPEAKER_01: The only Ryan C.
3:03:48
SPEAKER_01: The only one that the the voice, the true voice of the Nabo people.
3:03:54
SPEAKER_11: No! No, don't eat No I don't want people calling me Navajo.
3:03:58
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have the KNDN coming in.
3:04:01
SPEAKER_05: I'd have chopsticks on 969 calling rather instead.
3:04:05
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have the AM channel calling in you out.
3:04:09
SPEAKER_10: No, nope, nope, nope.
3:04:12
SPEAKER_10: But thank you for listening.
3:04:13
SPEAKER_10: This has been an episode of the Curse Pers and Curses Podcast with Lincoln Mark.
3:04:18
SPEAKER_10: Everybody, three, two, one, say bye.
3:04:21
SPEAKER_10: Three, two, one.
3:04:33
SPEAKER_02: Let's grab the tree.