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Shoplifters Will Not Be Prosecuted · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

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  Speaker 1: Shoplifters will not be prosecuted. It's one more thing.
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  Speaker 2: I'm strong and Getty one more But first, an important announcement.
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  Speaker 1: I Joe Getty request, nay demand that. Henceforwarth, I'd be
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  Speaker 1: known as lull Joe. I need a handle. Yeah, it's funny.
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  Speaker 3: I got into a conversation about this with my son
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  Speaker 3: last night after I was talking to him on the
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  Speaker 3: phone checking in with both the boys since I'm out
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  Speaker 3: of town rare for me. I am fortunate that I've
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  Speaker 3: not had to do a lot of business travel in
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  Speaker 3: my parenting career and I'm mostly home. But so I
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  Speaker 3: checked into the boys and I was telling Sam, who's
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  Speaker 3: really into hip hop music and is like into the
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  Speaker 3: history of it and has read books about it and
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  Speaker 3: knows a ton about it. Anyway, we're talking about Old
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  Speaker 3: John being on at the convention last night, and we
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  Speaker 3: you know, I was talking about making my usual wisecracks.
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  Speaker 3: Is he learned ol Wayne or the little Kim? Could
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  Speaker 3: Little John put little Kim in his little pocket? Or
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  Speaker 3: how how big are these people right right right the Lowells?
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  Speaker 3: But Little John's not actually that loul.
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  Speaker 1: No, No, he was our.
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  Speaker 3: Little ever and you can weigh in, Katy, because you
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  Speaker 3: know more about this too. Little Wayne, I guess is
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  Speaker 3: actually little.
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  Speaker 4: Yes, he's like five, he's five six.
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  Speaker 3: I remember when Barack Obama got a lot of credit
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  Speaker 3: for saying, look, you're not all gonna be little Wayne
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  Speaker 3: at a school when they you.
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  Speaker 2: Know, you're not all going to be rappers study Kim.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know. But you want to be a little Joe.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so, But my point being, you don't
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  Speaker 1: have to be little right right?
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  Speaker 2: Yes, it's just a na I just need a moniker.
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  Speaker 1: I've had like eleven different nicknames through the years, Katie,
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  Speaker 1: as you may know, eleven high Road, uh, big Freedom.
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  Speaker 2: Right, pork Chop?
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  Speaker 1: Was that me or you?
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  Speaker 2: I can't I think that you didn't. You have one
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  Speaker 2: briefly in college. I don't need to say it. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: we don't. We're not going to say that one on
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  Speaker 2: the air. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I've never had a nickname that I gave a damn
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  Speaker 1: four I'll tell you that.
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  Speaker 3: Here's my here's my nickname story. I went to my
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  Speaker 3: dad one time and told him I'm like ten years old, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: twelve years old, because I wanted a nickname, thought it
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  Speaker 3: would be cool, and I told him I wanted to
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  Speaker 3: be called gunner.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, that's very cool, And he said.
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  Speaker 3: You kind of have to earn a nickname, like people
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  Speaker 3: have to bestow it upon you.
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  Speaker 2: You don't have to declare.
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  Speaker 3: You have a nickname and walk around asking people to
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  Speaker 3: call it. It really took all the fun out of it. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: and I've never had a nickname.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, I earned one.
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  Speaker 5: My dad was my basketball coach and I was the
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  Speaker 5: point guard at apparently I had a game where I
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  Speaker 5: was flopping like Lebron. So after the game he called
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  Speaker 5: me point wimp and that lasted for yeow yeow.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. And who would call you that? Just your dad?
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  Speaker 2: Would your friends call you that? No, my dad did.
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  Speaker 4: It turned into it a joke.
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  Speaker 5: Ived I would like sign his birthday cards as point
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  Speaker 5: wimp and stuff.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow.
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  Speaker 1: My parents always called me JW and to differentiate me
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  Speaker 1: from my dad, who's got the same name.
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  Speaker 2: And I've always won JW or JW.
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  Speaker 1: You know, it's very you know, kind of average guys,
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  Speaker 1: kind of approachable.
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  Speaker 2: J Dubbs, heyre doesn't.
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  Speaker 1: Fun on it is good. So have you ever shoplifted?
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  Speaker 1: It's much more common than you might think. Nearly one
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  Speaker 1: quarter of American adults have shoplifted, according to a new survey.
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  Speaker 3: I would like to flip that on its head. Seventy
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  Speaker 3: five percent of not, which is good. Three out of
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  Speaker 3: four people don't shoplift ath checks ever, so that's good.
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  Speaker 3: Roughly I ever have one in twenty consumer. No, no,
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  Speaker 3: certainly not as an adult. Roughly one in twenty consumers
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  Speaker 3: have shoplifted within the past year.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, So well, it's good. You know what? That is
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  Speaker 2: all kind of encouraging.
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  Speaker 3: What's considered shoplifting. Or if you pop a grape in
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  Speaker 3: your mouth at the grocery's.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, that's theft, man, I don't do it.
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  Speaker 1: Fellon is theft? Yeah, felony. I don't know if it's Oh,
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  Speaker 1: I know a guy there'll be law and ordering Katie
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  Speaker 1: Green's America.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know a guy who used to at least
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  Speaker 3: graze at the grocery store with the feeling that they
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  Speaker 3: charged too much and they owe.
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  Speaker 2: It to me anyway. Wow, which, of course, that sort
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  Speaker 2: of attitude will ruin a civilization that is so weak.
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  Speaker 2: Quoting now from Yes.
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  Speaker 5: No, I accidentally stole something. It actually happened twice, but
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  Speaker 5: I always went back and was like, hi, I'm a
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  Speaker 5: dumb blonde.
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  Speaker 4: My bad, didn't mean to do this.
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  Speaker 2: How did you accidentally steal something?
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  Speaker 5: One time I put a pair of sunglasses on my
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  Speaker 5: head and a target and I forgot they were there.
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  Speaker 2: And another time that'd be really easy to do that.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, that was dumb.
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  Speaker 5: And another time I had grabbed onto this little sour
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  Speaker 5: candy and I was walking around the store and I
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  Speaker 5: had it in my hand as I pulled my wallet
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  Speaker 5: out and didn't realize it was there, and then ended
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  Speaker 5: up going back in and feeling like I was going
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  Speaker 5: straight to.
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  Speaker 2: Hell for it.
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  Speaker 3: I was at a jewelry store one time and I
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  Speaker 3: asked to look at a bracelet and then I created
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  Speaker 3: a diversion and stuck at my pocket and.
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  Speaker 2: Ran out the door accidentally.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it happens, relatable the insufferable USA today. Shoplifting is
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  Speaker 1: a complicated crimes. The motive can change from adolescent rebellion
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  Speaker 1: to adult thrill seeking to hand of mouth poverty.
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  Speaker 3: I did I do know somebody, a friend of mine
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  Speaker 3: who used to shoplift regularly into the starting in their
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  Speaker 3: teenage years and then like up into their twenties, and.
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  Speaker 2: It was all rebellion. It was it was like a.
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  Speaker 3: They're not exactly sure, but it was like a compulsion
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  Speaker 3: and it wasn't for the stuff.
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  Speaker 4: Like the adrenaline rush of doing it.
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  Speaker 2: Something like that. I get that. It was It's like
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  Speaker 2: like compulsive lying.
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  Speaker 3: It was like it wasn't like because you lied to
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  Speaker 3: conceal something, you just needed to lie. It was stealing
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  Speaker 3: because something made made you feel something or.
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  Speaker 2: What I can.
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  Speaker 1: I get that. I'm not saying I condone it, but
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  Speaker 1: it's thrill seeking. It's uh, it's a can I get
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  Speaker 1: away with this? The excitement of it. It's like a
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  Speaker 1: gambling addict. It's all about the anticipation and the high
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  Speaker 1: of Wow, I'm out on the edge here. You know,
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  Speaker 1: some guy's mountain bikes. Some people steal I guess yeah,
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  Speaker 1: that's what she said. It was just the excitement of it,
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  Speaker 1: and it took her. It was hard for her to quit.
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  Speaker 1: Celebrities shot.
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  Speaker 2: I think she got.
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  Speaker 3: Arrested in San Francisco, which will help you quit getting arrested,
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  Speaker 3: like as a grown human being would make they.
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  Speaker 4: Carry on in San Francisco. If you can steal something.
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  Speaker 3: She should have done that more recently and been like,
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  Speaker 3: what are you gonna bust me for?
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  Speaker 2: This, it's less than a thousand dollars.
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  Speaker 1: Here's an article of celebrities who've shoplifted. It's a slide show.
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  Speaker 1: Never mind.
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  Speaker 4: No one has time for those.
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  Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's the go go twenty first century.
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  Speaker 1: You get me my shoplifting celebrities right now, or I'm out.
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  Speaker 3: I have been tempted since you told that story, Katie
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  Speaker 3: of being. What did you see in a liquor store?
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  Speaker 2: I remember your story.
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  Speaker 1: Now.
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  Speaker 2: You saw some people steal oh grocery store a sucker?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: Oh, look at all these dumb mfrs standing in line
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  Speaker 5: to pay as they took an entire cart of booze
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  Speaker 5: out the front door, and no one did a thing.
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  Speaker 2: Y'all suckers? All right? When I was younger and I
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  Speaker 2: who is that handsome man? He's somebody important. He just
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  Speaker 2: waved to us. He is somebody the African American fello
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  Speaker 2: in the nice blue seat.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, he was somebody. I see him on TV all
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  Speaker 3: the time. I don't know, he's somebody important. He was
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  Speaker 3: a government person. Anyway, I got distracted. That's what happens
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  Speaker 3: when you're here at the Democratic National Convention.
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  Speaker 4: Was it, little John?
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  Speaker 2: It was not a little John.
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  Speaker 3: When I was younger and a drinker, I could easily
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  Speaker 3: see that I might have stolen a six pack of
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  Speaker 3: beer at least once, if not regularly, out of anger
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  Speaker 3: about the shoplifting and how they let people get away
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  Speaker 3: with it.
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  Speaker 2: When I was younger, I could see.
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  Speaker 3: That I could have convinced myself screw it, I'm not
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  Speaker 3: gonna stand in line.
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  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna walk out with this damn thing since
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  Speaker 2: nobody cares.
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  Speaker 1: Wow, So you're like the racial activist who paints a
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  Speaker 1: swastika on your own car to point out how much
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  Speaker 1: racism there hits.
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  Speaker 2: That's bizarre. I don't know.
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  Speaker 3: I mean I would protest, I wouldn't do it, and
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  Speaker 3: stealing is wrong, and I don't steal.
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  Speaker 2: I never have, and I teach my kids not to.
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  Speaker 3: But man, if other people are and if there was
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  Speaker 3: a line, yeah, I could easily see myself grabbing it
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  Speaker 3: and walking out the door.
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  Speaker 1: You know what, We should start a nationwide movement to
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  Speaker 1: do this. You go to a store, a Target, whatever,
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  Speaker 1: whatever store, grocery store, liquor store, and you walk out
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  Speaker 1: with the product. Then you walk back in and you yell,
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  Speaker 1: I just walked out of here with this product. Without paying.
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  Speaker 1: Lawlessness threatens us all. We've got to crack down on
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  Speaker 1: crime and then slap down the precise.
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  Speaker 2: And product, and then the crowd would give you the
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  Speaker 2: slow clap, right, and then it would build, and that
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  Speaker 2: it would build.
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  Speaker 3: Even more, and you become become a guy with like
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  Speaker 3: you get a nickname, Robinhood, they'd call me. You'd get
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  Speaker 3: a nickname, and you'd have a YouTube channel, and then
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  Speaker 3: you'd finally be something.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe they'd call me Robin Hunk on account of my
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  Speaker 1: handsome note.
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  Speaker 2: What what the hell? You played this out too far
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  Speaker 2: in your mind? I'm over tired.
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  Speaker 1: Robin Hunk hunk or hum, he's a he's a n
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  Speaker 1: and a crusader for justice. They call him Robin Hunk.
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  Speaker 1: Women are swooning over Robin Hunk.
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  Speaker 2: Just voted the sexiest man Alive.
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  Speaker 4: With Target Vigilante.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yes, this would catch on both candidates
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  Speaker 1: begging for his endorsement.
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  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, wish convention. Will Robin Hunk show up at
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  Speaker 2: You know what I'd be? I'd be either Richmond North
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  Speaker 2: or Richmond Guy.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, yes for twenty twenty four, Yes, yes, exactly what
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  Speaker 1: you would be, Robin Hunk.
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  Speaker 2: Now I have a planned and there they'd be memes
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  Speaker 2: of you, and they'd put you to music.
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  Speaker 1: And oh yeah, I'd be remixed constantly. Yeah, eventually he'd
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  Speaker 1: be the bachelor on the Bachelor. Wow, this is gonna
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  Speaker 1: maybe comes news to Judy. Yeah, okay, that's.
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  Speaker 2: Right to come news to your wife of many, many years.
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  Speaker 5: Gonna go home the DNC and told Judy, Hey, I'm
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  Speaker 5: Robin Hunk now yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Or r H.
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  Speaker 3: You'll do Next time you're having intimacy, you might say,
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  Speaker 3: could you conferd to me?
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  Speaker 2: Is Robin? Could you in my ear? Could you in
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  Speaker 2: my ear? Just say Robin Hunk. We gotta pay. Oh
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  Speaker 2: my god, we need to get these guys home as
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  Speaker 2: soon as possible. Well, I guess that's it.
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  Speaker 4: Oh jeez, get them home.