Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep70: Evelyn reflects on the Fred Wedge; Nick survives the storm drain.

Transcript

Ep70: Evelyn reflects on the Fred Wedge; Nick survives the storm drain. · Reverse Jackass

0:00
SPEAKER_01: It's reverse jackass Folks, welcome to the Reverse Jackass Podcast.
0:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad you're here.
0:11
SPEAKER_01: My name is Nick.
0:12
SPEAKER_01: With me as always is Mark Twain Award-winning Evelyn the Canadian Blade.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: Nomine.
0:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh shoot.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: This is this is a real sign that we need to get you a nickname and we need to get you one fast because you're starting to stack my.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: This is really bad.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh well, guess what?
0:34
SPEAKER_00: Guess what day it is, Nick?
0:36
SPEAKER_00: What day is it?
0:36
SPEAKER_00: Is it an Evelyn day?
0:37
SPEAKER_00: It's an Evelyn day.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: You got it.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: You got it.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: It's an Evelyn day.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: And um I saw my sister last week.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: We were trading stories.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: We were reminiscing about high school and we reminisced about a guy.
0:49
SPEAKER_01: You gotta, God, you gotta just put in every time we get Heather, you gotta just put in that little opening lick from Brusty Cage by Soundgarden.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: Uh we were reminiscing about, you know, you're talking about people from high school and wondering what they're up to.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: And we remembered that there was a there was a time when when Heather was going to school with a kid, and we can't, we can't say his name.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: Uh because even though it is part of the punchline, I'm gonna sub in a different name for it.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna call him Fred.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: And Fred's claim to fame was that he had every time he stood up or was even walking down the hall, he had the most epic wedgie you have ever known in your entire life.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh and we called it the Fred Wedge.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: And I would like to describe the Fred wedge to you because this thing was this thing was not someone's first rodeo.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: When you think of a wedgie, maybe when you get up from a chair or something, it might just be only your pants that are in your bum.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: But unless you're Fred.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: Unless you're Fred, in which case, not only are your sweatpants in your bum, not only is your t-shirt in your bum, your entire oversized sweatshirt is also wedged safely between your two bum cheeks.
2:03
SPEAKER_01: It's his ass is trying to consume him, wardrobe first.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: It's like a black hole.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, black hole bum.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: It really is.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: Uh so the Fred wedge was, and and I just again I want to build it out a layer of underwear, a layer of sweatpants, a t-shirt, and an oversized sweatshirt, all wedged into the bum crack.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: And I'm and I'm not saying it was like a tiny wedgie, like this thing, like when he sat down, he must have spread the cheeks and then sat down and let all the clothing just kind of rise up into the crack.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: And when he would stand up, it was like a death grip on his clothes.
2:48
SPEAKER_00: And my sister and I coined the term hungry bum from that.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: When you have a wedgie, when you when you're walking around with a wedgie, you have a hungry bum.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: So something we loved to do in high school when we were at home, we never did it in public because that would be rude and humiliating, is that we reenacted the Fred Wedge.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: We we would take whatever clothing we were wearing.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we would take clothing we were not wearing and just cram it up there and walk, walk around.
3:18
SPEAKER_01: He doesn't sound like the loser in this story.
3:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm torn because here in this story, there's there is a kid who is such a loser that you and your sister are impersonating at home when he's not around.
3:31
SPEAKER_01: Like that's epic, right?
3:32
SPEAKER_01: When your loser dumb continues long after you left the room.
3:35
SPEAKER_01: And then secondly, you and your sister, you're like, Yeah, me and my sister used to just shove untold amounts of clothes up our ass in front of each other and would like, look, I'm Fred, I'm Fred.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: Look, I have a I have four dogs' clothes and shoved up my ass.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: So it's like, yeah, yeah, Fred's a loser.
3:52
SPEAKER_01: It's like it's like a game of chubby bunny.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: But with asses and clothes.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:01
SPEAKER_00: But it's it's the it's the it's the groinal version.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: You and your sister, you and your sister were like Molotov cocktails of loser juice.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Like first of all, that's the best saying, and I hope Jason turns that into our group chat name.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's basically what it was.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: I think in part because we were amazed.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: Like we were, you know, part of it was like, ha ha, that's hilarious.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: How does he not notice?
4:34
SPEAKER_00: But it's also like, how did we get here?
4:38
SPEAKER_00: How did we get here, Fred?
4:39
SPEAKER_00: Like, what's what's happening?
4:41
SPEAKER_00: And then I'm thinking, is it now, is it now a point of security for him where he needs to have the fabric?
4:47
SPEAKER_00: And like, let's just state the obvious here.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: This isn't, you know, okay, under pants, shirts, this isn't four layers of fabric.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: This is eight layers of fabric because we are folded in half.
4:59
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
4:59
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know all that was in his ass.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: I assume you could only see the well, because you could tell what he was wearing.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: You could see the sweatpant.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: No, you saw the sweatshirt like in there, like when you'd be walking behind him, you'd see like the sweatshirt, and then there was a definitive, like it you could tell it was caught in the bum.
5:17
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:20
SPEAKER_00: So that's the best wedgie I've ever seen.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: So my question for Eunick.
5:24
SPEAKER_01: It was like the John Holmes of fucking ass cracks.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: It's just a capacious like a big rig, this kid.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: Like uh he was like just carrying cargo from just port to port.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: So my question for Eunick is what is the most claustrophobic, tightest space you have ever found yourself in?
5:50
SPEAKER_00: Parts of this conversation.
5:53
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
5:56
SPEAKER_01: The most claustrophobic space I have ever felt myself in.
6:00
SPEAKER_01: Um the tightest place you've ever had to wedge yourself into.
6:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
6:06
SPEAKER_01: It feels like there's a funnier answer here.
6:11
SPEAKER_01: Uh okay, I have a I I actually think I have a literal answer.
6:15
SPEAKER_01: So uh in 2007, I believe, my my brother's band went on tour to England to play the Cavern Club, in fact, where the Beatles came up.
6:24
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
6:25
SPEAKER_01: Um and also to play at Leicester University.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: And two of their members couldn't make it.
6:29
SPEAKER_01: And so at the last minute, uh my friend slash sister Carla and I subbed in to play bass and lead guitar, respectively, and these shows, right?
6:38
SPEAKER_01: And so we had to, we had to fly to England, which from Los Angeles is, you know, I don't know, 125 hours.
6:44
SPEAKER_01: Um, and I had a seat separate from the rest of them for some reason.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: And my seat was amazing.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: I had an extra empty seat next to me.
6:52
SPEAKER_01: It was incredible.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: I watched like three movies, I played video games on the on the back of the chair in front of me, which is a really cool thing because it was like 21 years ago.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: It was like an amazing ride, and I was awake the whole time.
7:03
SPEAKER_01: The other three of them were seated next to a very, very upset baby that screamed the entire time.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: They tried to sleep through it, it was a whole fucking thing.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: But the result was that when we got off the plane, the tables were turned because they had gotten some amount of rest and I hadn't.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: So I was walking, like falling asleep walking.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: We get through the airport, we get through customs, we get through everything, and then my brother gets this car that he's rented to take us all across England, right?
7:26
SPEAKER_01: Um, we get the car, and the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the fucking car.
7:31
SPEAKER_01: I'm just kidding.
7:32
SPEAKER_01: That's how we do it.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: I was like, say something, say something that sounds a little more American, if you can't.
7:38
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, yeah, I just I nailed it.
7:40
SPEAKER_01: So uh so we get the so we get all the equipment into this car and the four of us, and it is um, it's like it's it's bad.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: And it's like one of these things where like the the front, I want to say maybe all three of them got in the front seat or something.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: I think I was the only one in the back seat, but what I remember was that I had a a guitar like against my chest.
8:03
SPEAKER_01: Like it was like a guitar case sitting in front of me.
8:06
SPEAKER_01: And so I was actually not just like with things in your here, I was taking up half of the fucking seat, but also the the space in front of me, on top of me, around me.
8:15
SPEAKER_01: And I remember falling asleep like that.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: Oh just like falling asleep, like almost in suspension among all of this guitar equipment.
8:23
SPEAKER_01: And then I woke up and it could have been five minutes later, it could have been five hours later, and my brother was like, We have to get a different car.
8:30
SPEAKER_01: This isn't gonna work out.
8:32
SPEAKER_01: And I think he just in his kindness, he saw me there, wedged in all this equipment, and just thought, we can't do days of touring like this.
8:38
SPEAKER_01: So he got us a minivan.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: Um and it was a million times better.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it was still super crowded, but like it was different.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: But I remember waking up with my neck in a crick because I had slept with it at like a like a 45 degree angle amidst all of the equipment.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: That was that was one time.
8:54
SPEAKER_01: I also remember another time we had creeks near our house because I grew up in the swamps, and there were these, there was this like there was this like storm duct that went under Huguenot Road, and the storm duct itself was probably five feet in diameter.
9:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so get at it easily.
9:10
SPEAKER_01: But then there was like a separate little tunnel in it that was probably two and a half feet.
9:16
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, I'm gonna have nightmares from this conversation.
9:19
SPEAKER_01: It's terrifying.
9:20
SPEAKER_01: And I remember me and three of my friends decided to go in and see how far it goes.
9:24
SPEAKER_01: And we're in this storm thing under Huguenot Road, there's like an inch and a half of water like flowing beneath us at all times.
9:31
SPEAKER_01: We all kind of thought it was the sewer, which in retrospect it absolutely was not because it didn't smell like anything.
9:36
SPEAKER_01: It was obviously just runoff water.
9:37
SPEAKER_01: But at the time when you're a kid and you're watching all that teenage mutant ninja turtles, you kind of don't know what's the sewer and what's not, and you kind of don't know when a rat's gonna come out and whether that rat's gonna be your sensei or whether he's gonna just do your fingers.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: It's great.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: So like, and so I remember us crawling on our hands and knees, you know, which is hilarious because at 47, I I couldn't crawl on my hands and knees to get the antidote, but like as a kid, as a kid, I was just all on my hands and knees in this concrete.
10:02
SPEAKER_01: And I remember like seeing a tiny little bit of light going through a manhole cover on the very, very busy mini highway that we were under.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: And we got what felt like about three miles in.
10:14
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: I it had to have been like 25 yards.
10:17
SPEAKER_01: We was not sure, it was not far, but it felt like we had gone.
10:19
SPEAKER_01: And I remember my friend crying and saying, I want my mommy and I want her now.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: And I remember we ended up having to back out.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: It was so thin that we couldn't turn back.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: You couldn't even turn around.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so like when we when we all decided collectively to give it up, we had to back out of the thing.
10:35
SPEAKER_01: And in retrospect, my mom was always always felt like I was under poor supervision at this friend's house, which really, really bothered me as a kid because I felt like she was wrong for saying that.
10:45
SPEAKER_01: In retrospect, we crawled into a you know three-foot diameter storm drain that went we knew we're not, and then when we got out of it, we all went through all of his mom's porno.
10:57
SPEAKER_01: So, like, so I think maybe my mom might have been right about the supervision at this place.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: There was every household of the families that we you know visited when we were kids had range.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: That's the only explanation for it, is that they had range, and some some families had greater range than others.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: And you know, this sounds like one that had just a more expansive life view than maybe your home did.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: And I gotta say, like they were on some level, they gave me all the things my parents couldn't.
11:28
SPEAKER_01: There were um there were cigarettes there, although I didn't smoke, but it was very smoky.
11:31
SPEAKER_01: There was porno, there was lack of supervision, there was cable TV, everything that I wanted at my home and couldn't have, this family gave me.
11:38
SPEAKER_01: And I like to think that my friend got it from them.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: But we still have a little bit of time here, Evelyn.
11:41
SPEAKER_01: What's the most constricted space you've ever been in?
11:44
SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, um, you know, one of the something that comes to mind, and I'm sure maybe there's been more, and maybe I've just, you know, blocked them out of my memory so I don't have to go back there ever.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: But there is a well-known music venue in Toronto called Massey Hall, and it's an older venue.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: It's beautiful, like the acoustic in there is just wonderful.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: There's thousands of famous, not just Canadian artists, have performed there.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: It's a kind of a go-to location.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: And uh, you're like, sure, I'm gonna take three seconds and I'm gonna look up who's performed at Massie Hall.
12:24
SPEAKER_01: So tell me about tell me about the superstars of Massey Hall.
12:27
SPEAKER_01: Um tell me about tell me about how incredible and world-renowned Massey Hall is.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: Because by the way, it's your lead-in to the most cramped I ever was in my life.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna guess it's not like you know, Royal Albert Hall.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: Are you ready?
12:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
12:42
SPEAKER_00: Okay, here's some performers.
12:43
SPEAKER_00: So here's some performers who have performed at Massey Hall.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: Gordon Lightfoot holds a record with over 165 shows.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: We've hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: Gordon Lightfoot is what you were leading in with.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: With over 165 shows.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: He has the most.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: They got Gordon Lightfoot 165 times.
13:04
SPEAKER_01: I have never wanted to slap another human more than I do right now.
13:08
SPEAKER_01: Oh, really?
13:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm actually annoying.
13:10
SPEAKER_01: Rush.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: Shut down.
13:13
SPEAKER_01: Lead with rush, for God's sakes.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: You're in the uh obviously the hip.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: That's Gordon Lightfoot.
13:20
SPEAKER_00: Bob Dillon.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: Okay, uh, Pavarotti, Neil Young, David Bowie, you two, Elvis Costello, Blue Rodeo, Oscar Peterson, Billy Holiday, Buddy Guy.
13:30
SPEAKER_00: And also Elvis Costello.
13:32
SPEAKER_01: Buddy Guy, Herbie Hancock.
13:35
SPEAKER_01: This list is all over the place.
13:36
SPEAKER_01: Bill Burr.
13:38
SPEAKER_01: Bill Burr.
13:39
SPEAKER_01: Bill Saudi Arabian Money Burr.
13:41
SPEAKER_01: Congratulations.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: You all have really taken the best and the brightest from our country.
13:44
SPEAKER_00: Winston Churchill.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: Did you all get Ted Nugent there too?
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Helen Keller.
13:48
unknown: Helen Keller.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: Is that so much a performance?
13:52
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if we can call it that.
13:54
SPEAKER_00: If I these these Canadians, yeah, yeah, uh, these Canadian jokes just write themselves.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: This just feels I know, I know, I know.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: Notable performers and events.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: Okay, who else?
14:03
SPEAKER_00: In 1901, the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall in York, the future King George V and his wife, Queen Mary.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: They performed.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: They visited with Canadian Prime Minister Wilfred Glorieux to see a memorable, memorable Gordon Lightfoot performance was good.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say you're throwing Gordon Lightfoot in there.
14:18
SPEAKER_00: Uh Joni Mitchell, Tears for Fears, Justin Bieber, Cream, Bob Dylan, Billy Jewel, the Kinks, Kraftwork, Lenny Kravitz, Ingbe Malmstein, Bob Marley and the Wailers, Nightwish, Joe, Satriani, 17, Robbie Shankar, Harry Styles, and Kiss, to name a few.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: That list is all over the place.
14:36
SPEAKER_00: Jerry Seinfeld.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: Jerry Seinfeld.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: Dizzy Gillespie, Charles Mingus, Charlie Parker, your favorite.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: I know.
14:45
SPEAKER_01: You didn't say them, you didn't say them the way people do when they list jazz people.
14:48
SPEAKER_01: Charles Mingus.
14:49
SPEAKER_01: Charles Charles Mingus.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: Jeff Healy, Jerry Lewis, Jerry, Gerald Lewis.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, anyway, uh Spirit of the West.
14:59
SPEAKER_00: Oh, such a good group.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, Spirit of the West.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: They're so good.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: The seats at Massey Hall are not made for the um ample bottomed human being.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: And I think when I was there, I was there sometime.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: When was I there?
15:19
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
15:20
SPEAKER_01: They were building the hall and they were like, should we make should we make uh any of these seats for fat bottom girls?
15:25
SPEAKER_01: And then the architect was like, No, they're making the rock and world go around.
15:29
SPEAKER_01: They won't need to attend any concerts more than Lightfoot concerts.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, are you kidding me?
15:36
SPEAKER_01: I don't know any fat girls who want to see Helen Keller live.
15:40
SPEAKER_01: Helen Keller's act was all fat shaming.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: I mean that that's the part of it, was it was just the whole thing was just a nasty sexist.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: Her stand-up was renowned.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: That first the first set, the first set was inviting, but I do think her second set pushed the envelope a little too much, and especially, especially when she started doing impressions.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: I remember when Andrew Dice Clay came out, they said he's like the sighted Helen Keller.
16:06
SPEAKER_00: The sighted hell so he didn't speak.
16:10
SPEAKER_01: Helen Keller spoke.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: Hate to tell you.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: No, she didn't.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: She was blind, deaf, and dumb.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: Which we don't use those terms anymore, I know, but that's like No, but really swing for the fences.
16:18
SPEAKER_01: Uh are there any other are there any other things, you know.
16:21
SPEAKER_01: Do you want to She was a cripple?
16:23
SPEAKER_01: She was touched.
16:25
SPEAKER_01: Do you want to throw the R-word in here anyway?
16:27
SPEAKER_01: I know that is a bridge too far, even for Canada.
16:31
SPEAKER_01: Even the Massy Hall.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: Even for massy Gordon Lightfoot Hall.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so these seats, they're not, they're not good.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: No, they're not accommodating.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they're not good.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: I think I had to like fold my body in half like hot dog, like a hot dog pulled, in order to sit comfortably in those seats.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: And when I got up, I too, like Helen Keller, was crippled.
16:55
SPEAKER_01: And you were like, you were like, uh, it's not like I expected to enjoy Joni Mitchell.
17:00
SPEAKER_01: It didn't have to be like this.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
17:03
SPEAKER_00: I enjoy music so much more when I'm also in pain.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: Like that's just and the best part is is that I mean, Jason and I are not small people.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: So sitting beside each other, we're really forced to to take in each other's space.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: And it it is a physical enmeshment that should not be appropriate for public areas, but there's no choice because it's either that or stuff one of the armrests of the seats up my butt right in there with the sweatpants and t-shirt sweatshirt of the Fred wedge.
17:40
SPEAKER_01: And then you looked into your mind and saw Fred looking down on you and saying, I was training you.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: I was training you.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: I sweatshirted so you could massy hall armrest.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: So do you still know Fred?
17:53
SPEAKER_00: Is that no, no, no?
17:55
SPEAKER_00: Oh okay.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: No, no idea.
17:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but you know what?
17:59
SPEAKER_00: I I bet he's doing fine.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, his legacy lives on.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: In Massey Hall in this podcast.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: Just anywhere fine sweatshirts are absorbed.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: He's he can you imagine?
18:10
SPEAKER_00: Let's hearken back to episode one for a second when we were talking about hyper color shirts.
18:14
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: Can you imagine how that would have been the that would have been not cool?
18:20
SPEAKER_00: He was born too late.
18:21
SPEAKER_00: The hypercolor.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: Well, he was in the same era, but I just think having having a hyper color, like having something tucked in your butt that is hyper color, really like you can shake that wedge out or just do a little subtle yank to the side, but that thing's gonna be you're gonna have a big purple streak on that orange sweatshirt for a really long time.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be like the world's most disturbing Shroud of Turin.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: What does that mean?
18:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I wish I couldn't.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: We don't know because you weren't raised Catholic.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: Uh and then we should close this out.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: Shroud of Turin is a is a much disputed Catholic artifact, and it is it is purported to be a piece of cloth that somebody handed Jesus to wipe the sweat off of his brow while he was carrying the cross.
19:04
SPEAKER_01: And it is purported that it left an imprint of his face on the cloth, and that you can now see Christ's face on this thing.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: A lot of people say that's crazy, but there are a lot of people who are very invested in believing that that for some reason Jesus was like eager to leave a picture of his face in sweat on the shred.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: So, anyway, so all this is to say that like the hypercolor in in Fred's hands would be the most disturbing modern-day shroud of touring that there ever was.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: It would have been.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, that's so good.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: And really, what the poor guy probably needed was just a pair of pants made out of a shamwow.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: Or frankly, jokes aside, a kind adult.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: Well, we all know we didn't have any of those in high school.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: So, next best thing, you can live in infamy on a podcast.
19:46
SPEAKER_00: Nick, thank you so much for being here with me today.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for your vulnerability or whatever that was.
19:52
SPEAKER_00: And uh, do you have anything you want to say to the people as we wrap this up?
19:57
SPEAKER_01: We just we just love you, and we're so glad that you listen to us, and we want you to tell all your friends that you either love or hate this podcast.
20:03
SPEAKER_01: But either way, tell all your friends and subscribe and you know, just be nice to people.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: And if you see a wedgie that just blows you away, best thing you can do is go home and reenact that thing and see what it really took, and then tell someone about it.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: But don't post pictures about it on the internet because that's rude and disgusting.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: Some neighbors are besties, others quarrel bitterly, stuck together through geography.
20:28
SPEAKER_00: One of us has nukes, and the other has tokes.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: It's American Canadian diplomacy, it's reverse.