Latest / Earn Your Leisure / How to Protect and Build Wealth After Divorce

Transcript

How to Protect and Build Wealth After Divorce · Earn Your Leisure

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: This episode is brought to you by P and C Bank.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: A lot of people think podcasts about work are boring,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: and sure they definitely can be, but understanding a professionals
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: routine shows us how they achieve their success little by little,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: day after day. It's like banking with P and C Bank.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: It might seem boring to safe plan and make calculated
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: decisions with your bank, but keeping your money boring is
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: what helps you live or more happily fulfilled life. P
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: and C Bank Brilliantly Boring since eighteen sixty five. Brilliantly
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Boring since eighteen sixty five is a service mark of
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: the PNC Financial Service Group, Inc. P and C Bank
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: National Association Member FDIC erness What's Up? You ever walk
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: into a small business and everything just works like the
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: checkout is fast, the receipts are digital, tipping is a breeze,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: and you're out the door before the line even builds.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Odds are they're using Square? We love supporting business that
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: run on Square because it just feels seamless. Whether it's
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: a local coffee shop, a vendor at a pop up market,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: or even one of our merch partners. Square makes it
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: easy for them to take payments, manage inventory, and run
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: their business with confidence, all from one simple system. If
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: you're a business owner or even just thinking about launching
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: something soon, Square is hands down one of the best
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: tools out there to help you start, run and grow.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: It's not just about payments, it's about giving you time
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: back so you can focus on what matters most ready.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: To see how Square can transform your business, visit Square
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: dot com backslash, go backslash eyl to learn more that
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Square dot com backslash, go backslash eyl. Don't wait, don't hesitate.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Let's Square handle the back end so you can keep
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: pushing your vision forward.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you this switching gears huh. But
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: also important conversation when it comes to wealth. I know,
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: you know in your life everybody has challenges. You went
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: through a divorce. Oh yeah, so talk about how you
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: can navigate keeping your wealth after a divorce.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: I love that, you know, And uh ra shad, that's
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: a book I actually want to write. It's I kind
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: of become a millionaire after divorce because you know, divorce
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: wipes out people financially. It's a complete reset. And you
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: know I went through a divorce. You know kind of
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: at a worse time, at a worse time when you know,
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: my business was in two thousand and two, two thousand
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: and three was the big dot com bust, and I
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: was into consulting big. I used to work for Delitten,
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: Ernst and Young and I and I was on my
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: own at that time, and clients didn't want to see
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: a consultant after Y two K. They're like, we're tired
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: of spending all this money on advice. And you know,
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Y two K wasn't as big as it was, and
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: the dot com isn't as big as it was supposed
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: to be. So business was tough. I mean two thousand
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: and two, two thousand and three and I was in
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: red ink, and that was the same time my ex wife,
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: my son's mothers, and I decide to go our separate ways,
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: and I was left for the half a million dollars
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: in debt from UH with Wills Argle Bank. My line
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: of credit was called because I was using my line
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: of credit to keep the business afloat. And so, you know,
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: so if you're getting a situation you find yourself getting divorced,
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: I think the first thing that you have to really
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: do is kind of focus on your offense, focus on
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: keeping your income strong, focus on your skills. And then
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: also you have to be steady about what you do
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: with your money because now you have less money to do.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: And for me, I had to stop paying for my
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: son's college funds, you know, for a few years until
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: I resorted out my finances right. And my divorce you know,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: caused me to sell my big house in Oakland Hills
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: and pretty much give her all the proceeds. But I
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: kept my apartment buildings. So if you have multiple assets
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: in your family, what I did with my ex wife,
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: I was like, okay, we've got this, we have this
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: equity in our house. I'm buying out my apartment buildings,
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: the ones I had in Jersey City back in two
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: thousand and three and in DC, right, So I bought
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: her out of those and held onto those, and there
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: was a year where I could even pay myself. So
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: people think I got a job and I get a divorce,
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: and that's bad, But think about being an entrepreneur getting
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: a divorce, having to split up half of your assets
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: and having to pay alimony and child support and trying
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: to figure out your life moving forward. But what was
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: really helpful Joy is about, was the fact that I
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: kept a frugal mindset and I was really responsible in
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: doing what I was supposed to do to my ex
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: wife and my kids. So I kept a frugal mindset
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: and I just went low to the ground.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: People wouldn't have known it, but I was not spending
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: money on clothes. I wasn't spending money on anything. But
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: I held on to my investments, and in fact, I
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: figured out a way to convest more because I had assets.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: So my advice to people going through that is to
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: develop this frugal mindset. You'll lay low and keep moving forward,
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: keep investing your way, and in time you'll see your
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: way out of it. And so and so that's really
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: really key. And one of the things, like I said,
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: that work for me was buying real estate in Jersey
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: City in two thousand and three. And if you guys
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: live in New York and know what's happening with Jersey City,
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: it's exploded, booming, it's booting, it's booming. So it's a
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: matter of basically, make sure you take care of your responsibility,
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: make sure you do what you have to do, continue
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: to invest, continue to work on your income, and you'll
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: dig your way out of it. But too many people
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: look at divorces saying I don't want to make no
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: more money because if I do, she's going to hit
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: me up for more child support. I'm like, don't punk out.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Just you be responsible, do what you have to do.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: But get busy in your offense, Get busy building up
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: your income and continue to invest. And although it may
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: not feel like this, ten, fifteen, twenty years down the road,
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: like Steve Jobs connecting the dots looking forward, you'll see
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: that it worked out. My three boys graduated college, one
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: of them got as NBA and finance know, we have
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: a great relationship. My net worth is gone up probably,
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: you know, probably fifteen twenty times since then because I
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: didn't give up. And that's really what it's all about
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: about the pre nu Oh yeah, well yeah, I hate
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: to air my dirty laundry. But I've been married twice.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: But anyway, so the first time I didn't have to
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: got divorced twice. I got divorced twice. That's the book.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: That's the next book. Yeah, I've been divorced twice, you know,
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: which is interesting Rashad because my second wife, her and
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: I were really still good friends. She worked at my
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: company for a lot of years. She's a lawyer. And
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: what was interesting about is that we came into the
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: into the marriage unequally financially yield, which was challenging. Right,
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: my net worth is here. She was, you know, she
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: was about ten years younger than me, and.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: She can you raise your hand a little high and
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: went under the screen.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: My net worth was here and hers was down here.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: So in the prenup, you know which that started. That
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: set the relationship off the wrong foot, right, Huh.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: The prenup bore the imbalance in.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: The prenup, which it often does, even though women say, well,
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: I'll gladly signed a prenup, that's no problem. Okay, Well,
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: I didn't really know what a prenup was. A lot
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: of people don't know what it really is. So I
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: went and hired an attorney through my recommendations, and my
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: attorney was putting my prenup together and we were getting
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: married and he was running behind on getting it done,
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: so it was kind of forcing some pressure there. So
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: by the time he delivered the prenup and her attorney
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: reviewed it, she was like, she felt like she really
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: couldn't trust me anymore. She already had doubts anyway, but
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: she really felt like she couldn't trust me. Because what
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: a prenup is is when you get married, there are
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: inalienable rights to a marriage that the state gives you right.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: And so when you get a prenup, what it's saying is,
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: I'm waving my right to this, his income, I'm waving
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: my rights to this, his assets. I'm waving my rights
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: to all these things. And you're like, wait a minute,
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: it feels awkward. It's like I have a right for that,
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: and then now I'm giving it away. So a lot
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: of people it kind of blows their mind. Even though
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: there are concessions that says, well, if we got a
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: divorced by this time, you would get this, but hey,
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: you're a lawyer, you make good money. It's like, you know,
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: and you have a child and I got three boys.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: So it was very, very difficult. And the moment that
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: we signed it, which was like it was supposed to
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: not be through duress, but it ended up being kind
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: of through dress because she waited until last minute right
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: before we got married. It just put the marriage on
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: the wrong foot. So after dating for ten years and
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: being married for five years, we ended up calling it
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: quits and my prenup, you know, it held. And so
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: what's interesting is about the prenup is like a lot
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: of people say they want until they read it and
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: their lawyers give them feedback, and it's difficult.
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: Then her lawyer wanted to go right, her lawyer wanted
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: to write my prenup. After that, she was like, oh no,
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: let me rewrite it. I was like, no, you can't
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: write a prenup to protect my assets, right, yeah, I'm
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: not going to go for that. So it's very complicated
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: and a lot of people struggle with that notion. But
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: look at it this way.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: I don't know if you can. I mean, I know
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: you guys have a one son or kid, and I
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: know Troy you have two or three kids. I was thinking, like,
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: I can't get a divorce you have two kids. Okay,
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, list we married right right too. But the
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: whole point is like if I got a divorce to
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: my second wife and I because I had a will too,
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: because if I died, she was I was going to
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: give her twenty five percent of my assets. The other
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: seventy five percent was going to my son's. But if
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: I died and my assets went to her without a prenup,
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: then and my sons could have had a situation where
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: she wouldn't have paid for their college. My sons could
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: have been in a situation where they've got nothing. So
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: my rationale for a prenup was, you know, my sons
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: are everything to me. There's no in the word I'm
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: gonna work this hard and not like my dad say,
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: have them start from my shoulders, yep, not from the ground.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: So I needed to make sure that they were taken
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: care of, and that was the crux of the peanup.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: What's interesting is there's three sides of her peanup. There's
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: my I'm make sure my hands on the camera. There's
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: my assets, her assets and hours. And so how it
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: goes is my assets could continue to grow, right, and
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: I would still own them as long as they were
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: they were they were titled to me. And then her
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: assets would do the same thing, right, she had a
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: condo that would continue to grow. But if we titled
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: assets together, that's what we would split, and that's how
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: it was written. So we never really had any assets together.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: So therefore we got a divorce. I kept my assets,
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: she kept hers, and I entered the concession part of
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: my prina. But it's an interesting thing, and it really
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: sometimes damages relationships because people start looking at you like
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: do you trust me or whatever. We end up divorce,
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: we end up good friends. She stayed in my company
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: for a lot of years. She's now a tech lawyer
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: for major government contracting businesses because she worked in my business.
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: And I raised her daughter like my daughter. So it's like,
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: you know, it's all good, but that's the challenge.
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from El Salvador
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christine Noman, the United State
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: are here illegally, your next you will be fine. Nearly
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: one thousand dollars a day imprisoned and deported, you will
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: never return. But if you register using our CBP home
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: app and leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: Do what's right. Leave now. Under President Trump America's laws,
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: border and families will be protected.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security,