Latest / High Level Wife Podcast with Chelsey Holm / Less of Me. More of Christ.

Transcript

Less of Me. More of Christ. · High Level Wife Podcast with Chelsey Holm

• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the High Level Wife Podcast.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I am Chelsea Holm, your hostess, and here we do marriage God's way.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I was on a team call today for high-level husband and high-level wife.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And Tommy summed it up where he said, We are the tip of the spear here in what God is doing with marriages and how it's not about marriage at all, but it's about us getting out of God's way so he can do what only he can do.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so that marriage can get out of the way and shift to becoming a vehicle and a multiplier of the impact that God is doing in and through us.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So we're wrapping up this series today.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously, we've been talking about marriage.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked about intimacy and pursuit and our hearts.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to end somewhere unexpected.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because if your goal after listening to this series is simply to become a better wife or a better husband, then I've failed.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because God's goal has never simply been a better marriage.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: His goal has always been to make us more like Christ.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I honor you for coming here and listening because you want to fix your marriage, because you want to be a better spouse, right?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I honor you for that.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: And God sees you in that.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I want you to know that that's not the actual goal.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much more to it.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's actually so much more simple than that.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because that approach puts the pressure on you.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not weight that you can bear.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually it crushes you.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And for many, most, if not all, that's that's who comes into high-level life is they have been crushed under that burden and they're ready to walk in freedom.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So John the Baptist understood this.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: John 3 30 says, He must increase, but I must decrease.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: He wasn't talking about marriage, but they reveal the heart of every disciple.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Every day there is less of me and more of him, less of my pride, more of his humility, less of my fear, more of his presence, less of my control and more of his trust, less of my self-protection and more of his surrender.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And this isn't about a slow process.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is about the sanctification process, but there are things, there are big things.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: There is sin that is blocking our growth that needs to be ripped out at the root in an instant.
• 3:21
  unknown: Right?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: We're not talking about that today, but I said that.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening, I guess that was for you.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: So this is the gospel.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: The world says, find yourself, protect yourself, express yourself, put yourself first.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: But Jesus says, and this is the gospel, deny yourself, take up your cross, follow me.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Marriage becomes one of the greatest classrooms of the Lord.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because every day it confronts the flesh.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And our flesh does not like to be confronted, it does not like to be denied, it wants to be indulged at all times.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've ever seen a child who has been indulged by their parents and never told no, you don't want to be around that kid.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because an indulgent flesh is not a sight you want to behold.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: And marriage reveals what still needs to die in us.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Your spouse does not create your impatience.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening is it's being revealed through them.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: But when your husband says, This is the decision that I've made, and your response is to rebel and to throw a fit, that's revealing your pride because it was exposed.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: They don't create your selfishness, they uncover it.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Marriage has this way of bringing what's hidden in our hearts to the surface, not so God can shame us, but so He can transform us.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And this is sanctification.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: We're often praying, God fix my marriage.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: But what if God says, I'm using your marriage to transform you?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: We live in a world that says if you don't like it, then just go somewhere else, right?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't like the lawn that you're in, just go next door.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: But Romans 8 tells us God's purpose to is to conform us to the image of his son, and marriage is one of his tools.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Not because it's easy, but because it's refining.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: We get firsthand experience in what it means to learn how to walk in unity and how to function in unity as one.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that outpours and overflows into the greater body of Christ, which is being built together in one temple for the Lord by his spirit.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: If we don't have unity in our marriage, how can we have unity in the body of Christ?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: A flourishing marriage isn't two perfect people, okay?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: There is no perfect church, right?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: There is the body of Christ.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so we need to understand that that is full of sinners who have been saved by grace.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And in marriage, it's two people who repent quickly, forgive freely, serve joyfully, pursue consistently, and return to Christ daily, decreasing continually.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: That is a flourishing marriage, and that is the platform that God uses to build his kingdom and multiply his impact.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: But what does decrease look like?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it looks like choosing humility over being right, like actually letting yourself be humbled.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Love does not demand its own way.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, we do that a lot, but decreasing means listening and not defending, it means confessing, not accusing, it means serving again, not demanding, praying in order to respond rather than to react.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: It means to bless instead of curse or criticize, it means to forgive before resentment starts to grow, not allowing resentment to even have a second to take root, because we don't hold on to offenses.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Every one of those moments is worship, and every one of those is an opportunity to say less of me, more of Christ.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Galatians 2.20 tells us, I have been crucified with Christ.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Now imagine if that became the heartbeat of your marriage.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Not what do I deserve?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: I hate that word deserve.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: We deserve hell.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we deserve for our rebelliousness and our sin.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: But God, rich in mercy, did what we couldn't do so we could have what we do not deserve.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not what do I deserve, but how can Christ live through me today?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: The irony of the gospel is that the world says fight to keep your life, but Jesus says lose your life and you'll find it.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the same is true in marriage.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: The more we cling to our rights, the more intimacy slips away.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: The more we surrender ourselves to Christ, the freer we become to love.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe today, God isn't actually asking you to fix your marriage.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe today he's actually asking for your heart again.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Not because he lost it, but because we have a tendency to take it back.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: We look down and there we are holding it again.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: We have to lay it back on the altar every morning.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: We place it back into his hands.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, increase.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Have more of me today than you had yesterday, because I want more of you today than I had of you yesterday.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: So we begin by asking, or we began the series by asking, does God have your heart?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: But now we're going to end with this.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Will you keep giving it to him?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because marriage isn't transformed in one grand moment, it's transformed through thousands of daily surrenders, thousands of little deaths, thousands of moments where we choose Christ over self.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's what makes a marriage flourish.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not because two people finally get everything they want, but because two people become more like Jesus.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: So Christian wife and Christian husband, dear listener, don't leave this series trying harder.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Leave this series surrendering deeper.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because the greatest thing your spouse needs isn't a perfect version of you.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's a version of you who looks more like Christ every single day.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when Moses came down from the mountain after being in the Lord's presence, and the Israelites were like, Whoa, your face is shining too bright.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Cover it up.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: But we don't cover it up.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: We want to shine with the radiance of Christ every single day.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: It'll make people uncomfortable, but it calls them to the Lord.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna leave you with a final prayer here.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, have my heart, not just my Sundays, not just in crisis, have all of me increase in me, transform me, heal me, teach me to love the way you have loved me.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: May my marriage become a place where people don't simply see two people in love.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: May they see Christ.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Amen and amen.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Let's wrap it up with some money lines.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: A flourishing marriage is the fruit of two people becoming more like Christ.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Marriage doesn't simply reveal how much you love your spouse, it reveals how much of yourself you've surrendered to Jesus.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: The goal isn't a better marriage, the goal is that Christ would be seen more clearly through your marriage.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Your spouse doesn't need a perfect you, they need a surrendered you.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And every act of humility in marriage is another opportunity to pray.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: He must increase and I must decrease.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: So again, if you've listened to this series, don't walk away thinking, I need to fix my marriage.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Walk away asking, Lord, where do I still need to decrease so that you can increase?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's the invitation of the gospel.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not simply better communication, not simply more intimacy, not even simply a stronger marriage.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's to become so surrendered to Christ that every part of your life, including your marriage, reflects his glory.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is what a high level wife is, and that is what a high level husband is.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's not someone who has mastered marriage, but someone who is being mastered by Christ.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you on the next series.