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Christmas Day 2016: The Dream That Changed Everything · The Mike Mack Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Had a dream, not a normal dream.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: This was a dream, unlike any other dream I've ever had in my life.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: It was so real, it was so vivid in detail, so lifelike, that there are times when I look back and think maybe it actually happened in another dimension.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't the pain pills or the alcohol because I used to have dreams when I took that and this wasn't it at all, guys.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: This was different than anything else that I've experienced in my life.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everybody, welcome to the Michael Mac Show.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's wonderful that you're joining me today.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um today we're going to talk about how does one man accomplish his goals, change his circumstances, his life, while another man, strikingly similar, stays stuck, gives up.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: What makes the difference between the two?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: So for example, take two guys, and they are strikingly similar to each other, same age, same educational background, they're both saddled with addiction, they're out of shape, they're broke.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: But one man, one man, is able to change his circumstances.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: He's able to go from drunk to sober, he's able to go from broke to financially well off.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: He starts a successful business, and he goes from fat to fit.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: In the face of overwhelming odds, he is able to accomplish his vision for his life.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: He never stops.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't just believe that he is going to succeed, he knows he's going to succeed.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: The other man, however, gives up.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't change, he stays drunk, he stays broke, he stays fat.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: What makes the difference between the two?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: The difference is, and I studied this, uh, and I'll talk about my own story, but I studied this uh when I wrote my book Man Transformed.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: People that connect to a greater purpose than themselves are often the people that can drive through adversity, that can overcome almost impossible odds, and succeed in the face of those impossible odds.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: In other words, taking the focus off of yourself and putting the focus, your drive, your purpose to succeed on others or a higher purpose is often the ticket to getting what you want in life.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Honey, funny how that works.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's a paradox.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Let me give you an example with my life and how that's how my life changed, how I was able to change my circumstances by taking the focus off of myself.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I had been an extremely successful, financially successful lawyer.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: I had everything, guys.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: I had a beautiful multimillion dollar house.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: I had a collection of cars, Ferraris, Porsches.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: I owned a 4GT, I owned a car.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: I used to brag about this that was in the James Bond film.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: It was the Aston Martin.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: I had everything.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Exclusive country club.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: My kids went to private schools, expensive watches, everything.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then I lost everything.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: I lost it all.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: I won't get into that now.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: That maybe for another episode we can talk about that.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's an interesting story in itself, but I lost everything.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Christmas Day 2016 comes along.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I am at the lowest point of my life.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: I am morbidly obese.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: I am addicted to pain pills.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm taking pain pills like somebody takes jelly pains.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, all day long I was consuming pain pills and washing it down with tequila.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: I was going through both a divorce and a bankruptcy at the same time, guys.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it couldn't have been worse.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: So, Christmas morning 2016, what do I do that morning?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: I do what I always did.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: I had tequila along with some opiates.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: My kids were with my wife at the time.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I was by myself.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I drove to my office, not knowing what to do with myself.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: I drove to my office.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I walked into my office, as you can imagine, there was no one else in that building except me.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, kind of imagine a typical lawyer's office.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, there's diplomas and awards on the wall.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: There was this big ass mahogany desk with a credenza, fancy furniture, that kind of thing.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I sat down um at the desk and I stared into space.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: This is typical for me at this point in time.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: It was beyond painful.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: I had lost all hope.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I had, I was numb.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just staring into space, and I decided to have more tequila and pain pills, which I I gave myself all day long.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought to myself, you know, Michael, now is the time to do this.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Now is the time.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: I had written the notes to my children and to my wife and to my parents and to my business partner.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: I had my Glock 19 in my desk drawer.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: It was locked and loaded, full metal jacket in the chamber.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, what I'm referring to is I was going to take my life.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: For one reason or another, I think when I look back, it was a miracle.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: I started to get tired from the tequila and the pain pills, which was unusual because I got so used to consuming drugs and alcohol that it didn't seem to have an effect on me.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: I was quote unquote functional, if you want to call it that.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I I crawled over, literally crawled over to this big leather couch in my office.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: I laid down and I dozed off.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: And this is what happened.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: I had a dream.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Not a normal dream.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: This was a dream unlike any other dream I've ever had in my life.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: It was so real.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: It was so vivid in detail, so lifelike, that there are times when I look back and think maybe it actually happened in another dimension.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't the pain pills or or or the the alcohol because I used to have dreams when I took that.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: And this wasn't it at all, guys.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: This was different than anything else that I've experienced in my life.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: And in the dream, I'm sitting on the edge of my son Liam's bed.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm tucking him into bed.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: He was six years old at the time.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm looking down at him, and he's laying on his pillow.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'll never forget, in the dream, I he had his uh Hulk.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: He loved, he loved the you know, comic book characters, and he loved the Hulk, the incredible Hulk.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: He had his Hulk blanket, his Hulk pillow, and I'm looking down at him, and he's looking up at me with this very stern look, which is unusual for Liam.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: He was as he is a happy-go-lucky kid, beautiful boy.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: And he summons me with his finger, and I lean down to see him, and he kind of leans up, and we're just inches from each other, and I can feel his breath, his little breath, and he's looking at me with such a stern look.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: And he says, Dad?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Yes, Liam.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: He said, I promise you'll watch over me.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yes, Liam.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: He said, promise you'll watch over me, Dad.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I gotta get through this without being emotional.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yes, Liam, I promise I'll watch over you.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: He said, I promise you'll protect me.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yes, Liam.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: I promise.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: He said, promise, Dad, you'll protect me.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yes, Liam.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: I promise I'll protect you.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then he smiled, his beautiful grin.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: And he put his head kind of back on the pillow.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: And as if he accomplished something.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: And he went to sleep.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: He looked so peaceful.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: And the dream ended.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: Guys, I bolted off that frickin' couch.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what the hell just happened?
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm looking around and I look up.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And there are my kids looking at me.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: Through their pictures.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: I had all these pictures of my kids in my office all over the place.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And they're looking at me.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And instantly I changed my thoughts.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: I thought, Michael, you selfish son of a bitch.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: You're not going anywhere.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna see this through.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna stop feeling sorry for yourself.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: You are going to protect your children, you're gonna watch over them, you're gonna be a role model for them.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: And all I can tell you guys is I walked into that office on Christmas Day 2016 with one purpose in mind to destroy myself.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was hell-bent on destroying myself.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: An hour later, I walked out with a higher purpose, a greater purpose in mind, to take care of my children, to be a role model, for them not to see me as this morbidly obese, bloated wreck.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: And my life changed afterwards.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: My physical self changed.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because I changed how I was thinking and how I thought of myself, my identity changed, my habits naturally followed, and I became pretty fit.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, today I coach guys, as some of you know, and some of you listening here are probably my students.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: I coach men on transformation.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: On fitness, yes, I help them get in the best shape of their lives, but I call it transformation.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Man transformed.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's what it is.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: It is more than physical.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: When I start a guy out, when we work together, I say, hey brother, it's great that I'm gonna get you in your best shape of your lives.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's great, you're gonna look good, man.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna feel good about yourself, you're gonna have more energy, you know, you're gonna be more productive.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: But I want you to think of it this way, man.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: How is your best physique going to benefit others?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: When you think of getting yourself in shape, how is that going to serve a greater purpose than yourself?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because if anything is certain, if history has taught us anything, that people achieve great things when they take the focus off of themselves and think of how can I serve others?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: How can I serve a greater purpose than myself?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I will tell you this, guys.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to have some monumental event that like it happened to me to transform.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: I call it transformation.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're thinking about losing weight or getting rid of alcohol or starting a business.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Think.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Look very deep within yourself.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: What is a deeply personal reason that would drive you?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: How would your children see you in a better light?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: How would you serve others?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: How would your relationship with others change?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: How could you be more a better man, more patient, if you were able to change your circumstances?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: Take the focus off of yourself.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: And this is really interesting.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: My mother used to say this.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: She was a social worker from she was uh Irish.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: She used to say, Michael, if you're ever depressed, go work in a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: My mother understood it.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: She understood that we are wired to serve others.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: That deep within us is an urge to serve others.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: It is part of who our DNA and the research is clear on this, guys.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is really fascinating.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: The research is very clear that people who are selfless versus self-ish, selfless versus self-ish, they are happier, more content, they enjoy richer relationships, they are able to withstand adversity, life's challenges, better than people who are self-absorbed.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's just a fact.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll leave you with this, guys.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: And this is kind of an interesting way to look at transformation.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: When you transform, when you change your paradigm, and I'll add this before I before I end this.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: This is the transformation is a lifelong process.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: It is, in my definition, trying to be better today to your fellow human being than you were yesterday.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Every day you think about how can I be better?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: And it can be little things.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: Transformation doesn't have to be some big thing like what happened to me.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: It can be, for example, somebody needs you to listen to them.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was on an airplane the other day, last weekend, and this woman talked my ear off about her life.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: She needed somebody to talk to.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's transformation.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's living a higher purpose.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: But getting back to what is transformation when you distill it to its essence?
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's love.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: I know, it may sound core to you guys, man.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a pretty tough guy, and you know, I mean ten years ago I would never say this.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: But things change, man.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: When think about what is the definition of love, the authentic definition of love.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: It is a verb.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: The feeling of love is bullshit, guys, if there's no action behind it.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: It is taking action on behalf of others, sacrificing, the giving of self.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: That is authentic love.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: This Hollywood notion of, well, I I love you with nothing behind it, that doesn't last.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's not love, that's something else.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: True love is service to others.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: Think of a mother and a child.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: The actions and the sacrifices that a mother makes or a father makes for their children.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: They would never divorce their kids.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: You kidding me?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: My mother was a f was funny.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: She would say stuff like, I'm gonna give you kids to gypsies, or I, you know, she would get exasperated with us.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: But she loved us.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: And we knew that she loved us with her actions, her sacrifices, her giving of self.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's love.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: The words without the actions are utterly meaningless.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: So all I can say, guys, and I'm not trying to sound self-righteous because you're talking to a guy that can be a real self-absorbed son of a bitch, man.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: I can I catch myself sometimes saying, Well, Michael, get your head out of your ass and think about other people.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just about you, Michael.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a constant reminder to myself and awareness of my that I need to always be aware of my behavior.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: But if we can just look at it that way and think about it this way, guys, when you help one person, you're not just helping one person.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: You're not.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: That person hopefully will go on to help other people.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it radiates.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Transformation is a process, an everyday process.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: And when you help one person, they can help another person and another and another.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, guys, therein is my lesson for today, if you want to call it.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a lesson that I learned um on Christmas Day uh 2016.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I hope that it helps you in some way.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: I look forward to the next podcast, and uh I'm really happy that you're here today.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: God bless you all.