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Sober Talk SA - Chris · Sober Talk SA

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  Welcome to sober talk. I'm Dennis and I have lived
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  experience of alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
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  struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
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  1300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot AU.
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  I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
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  fellowship of men and women who share their experience,
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  strengthen hope with each other they might solve their common
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  problems and help others to recover from alcoholism.
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  The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
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  drinking. There are no dues or fees for a
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  membership. We are self supporting through
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  our own contributions. A is not allied with any sex
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  denomination, politics, organization or institution.
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  Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses or
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  oppose any causes. Our primary purpose is
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  Stairsville and our other Alcoholics are chief Sobriety.
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  Good day my name is Chris and I'm an alcoholic and member of
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  Alcoholics Anonymous. My journey into alcohol began
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  quite a long time before I actually picked a drink up.
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  My father was a a violent alcoholic and I hated what
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  alcohol did to him and what I did to my family and never
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  occurred to me that when I was 14 or 15 there may not be a good
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  idea for me to to pick up a dream which I did with impunity.
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  I was young and Billy and started chasing girls and
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  smoking cigarettes all around about the same time and while it
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  was fun at the in the early times, my dream as I grew all a
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  bit older and started attending clubs and clubs and nightclubs
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  was a little bit different to my friends.
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  And when it was my shark to go and get around the drinks, I'd
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  want an extra 1 at the bar for me doing a while while up on the
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  drinks, I'd have the quick one at the bar.
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  And consequently I used to get pretty drunk and fool of myself.
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  And I was very fortunate at the at the age of 15, I met my wife
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  to be and we we went all merely drinking and partying as young
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  kids too, and gradged me progressing into into into
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  alcoholism. In the age of 20 we we decided
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  to emigrate to Australia and we arrived in Australia on the 30th
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  of December 1974 at 6:30 in the morning.
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  Arrived in Sydney and I thought I'd come to the head and more
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  than my my brother got me to an early opener.
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  I couldn't believe my luck. I don't want a wonderful place
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  to give the deer to do in the morning and.
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  And it prevent from me it prevent from me and it it got
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  gradually worse and we made some friends and bodies happened and
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  and Chris would be the person that would be at the end of the
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  night always sleep drunk in the corner somewhere or going to
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  somebody's bed that wasn't here. So consequently the invite child
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  were getting left and left and less.
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  And at the age of 20 or there about 20 years after six years,
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  about 26, my wife start making noise about starting a family.
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  And so my sister was living in Adelaide inside the move over
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  here and begin a family in Adelaide.
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  And my son, first son came along shortly after that.
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  And that changed my dream. I went from having dreams I come
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  into the house where I could spend anything I wanted on
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  alcohol to having to buy the cheapest stuff so I could have
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  enough. And I, I, I, I went to all, all
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  the things with the cheapest stuff you do home brews and all
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  sorts of things, gravy. And it was getting progressively
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  worse and worse and worse. I did try to slow down
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  occasionally. My wife quite often recommended
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  eyes I slow down that we couldn't afford the way I was
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  doing. And my solution was that was to,
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  to buy a spare cask of wine and put that in the bedroom and top
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  the one up in the fridge out the one in the red room where I
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  thought you would never know what I was doing.
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  I used to get confused where I'd mix my kinds of wine instead of
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  buying the same one. And we have all sorts of argue
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  about my the money I was spending.
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  It's a progressive illness. And that was progressing purely
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  in me and I I went down this bargain.
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  My wife, we had another child. My wife became the the mum to
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  shriek is because I was the biggest kid and she looked at me
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  very well. But for many years in in
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  ignorance of this disease that I had.
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  I didn't know it was a disease. I wanted to stop drinking.
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  I tried many times to stop, but I just couldn't.
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  I I stopped thinking of smoke at the same time and I used one or
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  the other as an excuse to to start them both.
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  You know, I'd have a cigarette, so that's why I'm a drink.
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  I'd have a drink somewhere while I have a cigarette, you know,
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  and I had no idea how to stop. And the last few years my baking
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  was absolute hell. I was made, made unemployed.
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  I was retrenched, you know, generally, although I am
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  thinking more in war and drinking at work that I don't
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  think the job would have lasted a lot longer.
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  But I was retrenched and I was drinking from the moment my eyes
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  open to the moment I crashed out.
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  Whatever time it was later on in the day.
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  And I was meant to do the the house has been bit during that
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  time and look after the the the chores.
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  And that became a system of rewards.
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  I'd do a little vacuuming that's worth a drink, nor the washing
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  that's worth another drink. The ladies must have lunch about
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  12 and watch the midday movie. I'll do that.
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  I'll my lunch was a couple more drinks.
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  And sometimes I'll go and get the kids from school.
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  Sometimes I'd be asleep on the couch.
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  And it depends on how how bad I got during that time from my my
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  best alcoholic friend, vodka. I I had bird.
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  You couldn't smell it. You couldn't taste it.
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  Nobody will know what I was thinking didn't matter that I
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  was bounced off the wall. And my wife and I think that day
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  that my my mind thought she can't smell it.
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  She can't dig it. Just she won't know I've been
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  doing again. We got in the many, many
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  arguments, you know, and I, I couldn't get myself well enough
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  to go back to work. And she used to go out and earn
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  the money for my alcohol and, and I would lie and cheat and
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  steal to get the money and, and yet she would have give it to me
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  if I asked, you know, but I, I couldn't, I couldn't even do
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  that. I couldn't be honest about.
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  I just had to lie about. I continued for many, many years
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  and until at the end of my drinking, suicide was the
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  desktop and I could come up with it.
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  I thought, I thought back then, I thought it was an honorable
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  thing for me to do. I thought I get myself out of
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  the picture. I'd be out of the piano again
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  and my wife and children can get on with their lives and
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  allergies supply. But do I say that different?
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  I sort of say that it was all about me.
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  It was about me getting out the pain I was in with the stuffed
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  my wife and kids. I was deprived and her husband
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  got a very good one and my kids, the father also not a very good
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  one, but I was I was so very. It didn't happen.
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  I at night, I I had determined I was going to do it.
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  I had a rope in one hand, a bottle of vodka and the other,
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  and I was off at the front door to find a tree suitable for
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  tying her up too. And if you'd asked me all those
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  years ago, why the telephone my hand that night on the Tory, I
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  don't know. I have no idea.
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  But today I believe my hair power put that or my hand that
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  hit me and I had called out all synonym and the men that called
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  me back shortly afterwards and asked me to go out to a meeting
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  the following with them too. Well, and I mean that being
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  terrified and scared and what I would find and I found happy so
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  bad people laughing and enjoying themselves and that blown me
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  away. I didn't think you could enjoy
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  yourself without without having a few drinks.
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  And I so wasn't quite for the journey without.
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  Oh, and I don't know if I am yet, but I had I had one more
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  drink that you know, that it was all nice for me to go to the
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  parrot covering. That's Audrey on a Saturday
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  evening and my wife was away that weekend and I had that
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  crazy band going from my end for a couple of weeks.
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  Mention was away. I'll have a bit of an end of
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  this weekend, then I'll stop coming on Monday and I thought
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  this Saturday morning and still have a couple of drinks and I'd
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  be all right to go out the Newton the most a couple of
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  drinks once we start the couch top.
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  But when the guy come to pick me up, I was pretty well placed and
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  he still took me to the meeting and my quiz he had was being
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  habit. We had thought I'd get throwing
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  out the meeting. There was a long walk back
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  console the abdominally. They capture anything I had and
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  it didn't happen. The men will then put their
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  hands out. They welcome me.
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  Don't they keep coming back and it would get better it slowly
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  but surely. It surely had.
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  I hadn't had a drink. Should I think that night?
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  You know that it's been been quite a few years.
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  You know, I've had an amazing life, but my my wife joined our
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  sister fellowship and on a few weeks after I joined, and that's
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  been a true blessing because we we had we had two people in
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  fellowships and I've got in our family that understood the
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  disease of our goals. And I say that that Canelo speed
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  is recognizes those deeds not not not a person being a bad
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  person because I can't think it's a recognised illness and I
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  had the illness and I had a found a solution was coming to
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  our anonymous and and during the 12 step problem.
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  And I I life doesn't stop because I got sober.
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  Life still happens, but I have to find a way of, of coping with
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  what life gives to me without, you know, they need to pick me
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  up with me, you know. And shortly after I joined up,
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  my wife joined Alan, my youngest son.
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  He joined the the children's with the the origin of Alan
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  Alateen. And that was a real blessing
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  because I at that time, I had no skills of being a parent.
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  I'd been drunk during most of the kids lives and he was about
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  13 and I was trying to tell him what to do and he he wouldn't do
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  it. We had lots of arguments but he
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  joined our team and the only other team we forget to was it
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  was about a 45 minute drive away and he go to those meetings
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  quite often as far away as in the cards we possibly could.
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  But coming home we could talk and I got to know him.
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  A sudden during that time they got annoyed his father and today
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  we have a wonderful arrangement. I I've been sober for quite some
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  time. And after a few years, he found
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  he needed this. I shouldn't be sharp.
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  And that that's the reason I started with my father thinking
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  I believe that it's also hereditary run twice to my
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  family. You know, my father was an art
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  Loic. I'm an art Loic.
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  My son's an art Loic there's no six year sober and has given me
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  two beautiful twin grand boys by Alderson understands how it was
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  and you know we've regularly talked about alcoholism in my
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  family. I've got two older grandkids
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  that know what I hear. I don't hide this from any.
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  It's part of me and I have a wonderful life.
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  Today. I'm about to retire.
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  My wife was just recently retired.
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  We're going to do a bit of travelling and yeah, life's
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  good. Yeah, as I said, life's not
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  always good. But but this programme gives me
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  a way of coping, a way of finding solutions for the any
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  problems that come up in my life.
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  There's always somebody in my fellowship who's been there and
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  done that before me that I can go next.
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  A bit about right, but how to deal with the problem?
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  People, people get born, people get married, people pass away.
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  That's that's part of life. But I don't need to take my
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  drink for the day. Yeah, anything that I pick a
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  drink for or poor, it's just another excuse.
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  And there's no reason that I committed to me.
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  But if I continue doing what what was suggested when I first
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  came to their meetings keep coming to meetings, practice a
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  12 steps in my life on a daily basis and don't take that I
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  drink. There's no need to be in having
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  another drink. I'm a currently generally agree
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  about what this person in me and I hope to keep coming for many,
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  many more years, one gate at a time.
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  And that that the key to this whole to the it's be in only one
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  day at that currently. Currently, I, I, I as a member
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  of this project, I've done quite a bit of service for the
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  fellowship and there was a big part of our fellowship, but the
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  threefold disease, the threefold triangle service, recovery and
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  unity. And as I said, service has been
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  a big part of my life. I, I started off service earlier
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  in the peak. It led me to, yeah, websites
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  become conventions, websites fellowship and it, it's kept me
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  involved in the fellowship, you know, to the point where
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  currently I'm employed as administrator of a wonderful
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  fellowship. And Deborah Fury and I work in
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  the office and I, I, I can't recall from a lot of the
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  newcomers asking for help. And it's a real blessing to be
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  able to pass this message on to somebody and, and hope they get
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  to a meeting. They have lots of good events
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  all night. But I thought it should be we,
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  we have, we have a saying we're not a lot.
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  We certainly are. We, we have the regular count
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  weekends away where, where we get together with 40 or 5060
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  even in families and they have meetings and fellowship and have
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  an absolute ball or a whole weekend.
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  And we do that several times a year in SA and lots of times
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  around down the country. There's events happening now, my
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  regular event where where people drive all the way up the Darwin
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  stopping on on weekends for a weekend here, weekend camp, you
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  know, and we also have regular conventions which are bigger
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  event you have once a year in each state.
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  And next year we're going to hold 1 here and Adelaide in the
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  Hilton Hilton Hotel. And the the five day get
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  together is from all around the country and Alanons and other
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  teams all around the country and all around the world.
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  Sometimes they're they're incredible to see, to see 1000
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  Alcoholics in one room all sort of a all same serenity bread as
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  as an amazing state. And at these events, we
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  understand we're not, we, we quite often have a dinner dance
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  at these events. And every, every band we've ever
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  had at one of the dinner that I've attended to come back and
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  play for us again. Because as soon as they get up
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  and strum one chord on the guitar, the dance floor is full.
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  We no longer have to wait because we've had 6 beers
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  before, you know, we dance. We, we, we want to enjoy
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  ourselves all night long, not just wait until we're ready for
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  it. And there's also comment
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  worldwide convention, the people that tell you a very big
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  fellowship about the people, about 2 million people
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  worldwide. And we have the big book where
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  we get on the end is called autonomous.
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  That's been converted to 150 different languages so by the
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  areas most countries around the world, which is a blessing.
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  I've been to several companies overseas that I've been to do a
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  meeting pattern That's a that's a wonderful feeling that you
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  know my fellowship is with me where I am in in or the not very
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  popularly. That is due to the variety being
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  that a meeting on most cruises when the goose attackers in the
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  the beer a spot held specifically for members
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  together and have a have a day meeting on a cruise ship
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  building. We we do all but, but they won't
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  be. When you started started first
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  come to Alcoholics and how did you how did you find the
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  maintenance? Did you were you able to get
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  there yourself or is people willing to pick you up and take
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  you there or what Was the story there perfect.
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  First couple of months a member picked me up and took me to all
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  of the which I, I can't do it a blessing because I came in in
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  November which was just starting to war up and it was a national
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  England, England cricket tour that year and he never gave me
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  the option to yeah, a lot. I watched cricket too hot.
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  I stayed home, which was a blessing.
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  That meant I got to lots and watch the meetings.
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  You know, after a while I thought I made my own way to
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  meet and I could pick people up and a good friend of mine came
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  in. We went all round Adelaide,
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  touring all the different meetings, you know which.
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  There's a thing in the fellowship those that getting
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  around stay around and we we went touring all over the place
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  with, you know, you think nothing will drive down to take
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  the harbour for a meeting the other night time and then coming
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  home after the meeting. It was it was amazing.
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  Lots of members of the fellowship all suffering the
• 20:49
  same be all trying to get well with them and it's just one
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  alcoholic help below that how this program work you know and
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  when they in in small all large venues.
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  All we need is is do Alcoholics to hold a meeting, you know, and
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  you have something like 110 missions in SA, I believe when,
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  when we're out of COVID and currently about 55 of those are
• 21:25
  back up and running, they must start running online meetings.
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  All the, all the updated meetings can be found on our
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  website, a-sa.org. If you have a problem without,
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  give us a call. But nothing, nothing to lose and
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  everything to gain. It's a wonderful, wonderful
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  fellowship. The wonderful way of life being
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  sober, but the the the love I get off my grandkids nicked all
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  worthwhile. You know that I never want to
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  drink, you know, to say the love that they assure me and that is
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  amazing. I'm loved by all the fellow
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  people in the fellowship. You know, it's it's, it's it's a
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  very different sort of organization that it run by the
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  members. So all I, I work in our office,
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  I'm not the boss, do I, the boss was how the other people have
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  gone to the meeting. Now we have a very well run
• 22:28
  organization that that's controlled by the membership,
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  not not by the ones that are doing the work for it.
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  They're very strange to most people's concept.
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  You know that the people on the on the on the in the meetings
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  tell us what to do and we do it you know but but I do have to do
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  what what they regret London fellowship the the way they
• 22:51
  want. They think it should be run and
• 22:55
  that run very very well for this disorganized yeah system.
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  But it runs very well. It runs very well.
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  We an annual conference where we decide where which way we're
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  headed for the whole of Australia and and it runs very
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  well which and we try and assist government agencies, the doctors
• 23:27
  and councillors and more and more of those are putting the
• 23:36
  tries to more just see a little bit coming up.
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  This client and other client with a drinking problem may
• 23:44
  willingly try. We will try and help anybody who
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  has a desire to bring with Bentley.
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  Grateful thank you. My name is Chris and I bought
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  the hub. We have local meetings for the
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  full week in the local area. Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00.
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  Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00. Wednesday is Elizabeth E at
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  8:00. Thursday is 2 Wells at 8:00 and
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  Friday is Salisbury at 8:00. There's a meeting at Devon Park
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  at 12:00 and on Sunday there's a maintenance Salisbury at 7:00.
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  And many of the meetings in the area or details of your local
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  meetings, please phone 1300 double 22222.
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  And once again, if anyone you know is struggling with alcohol
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  issues, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on 1300 double 22222
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  or check out their website ona.org dot AU.