Latest / HAVE FAITH LET IT BEGIN® / When Roles Reverse: Caring for Aging Parents
Transcript
- 0:00Here's the question. As we get older, it is our time to take care of our parents.
- 0:06As we get older, we will see that the people that raised us,
- 0:09those that are in our presence, are the ones that need the care that they provided us.
- 0:17Are you ready to do that? Are your parents still with us?
- 0:20And if they are, are you ready to help them get through their battling,
- 0:25their challenges at the age that they're at.
- 0:28Have Faith, Let It Begin starts right now.
- 0:33It's Monday, and you know what that means. Welcome to Have Faith, Let It Begin.
- 0:40Podcast of inspiration. It's a podcast of hope.
- 0:45It's a podcast of faith, and it's a podcast of friendship.
- 0:49Here is your host, Angel Santana, and special co-host, Dr. E.
- 0:56We're a three podcast time. That's it, man. Let's rock and roll in three, two, one.
- 1:02Dr. E is back. Dr. E, we're going to get right into it.
- 1:06My parents getting older. A lot of things are happening right now.
- 1:09Trying to get them new car insurance, trying to get them situated.
- 1:12And it is very difficult, especially being the youngest of four,
- 1:17to have to look your parents in the eye and say, don't worry,
- 1:20I'm going to take over here and I'm going to help you.
- 1:22But it's still difficult to see those people that you felt were,
- 1:25you know, unbreakable being broken down piece by piece.
- 1:30You know, Angel, what a beautiful topic. And I will say this is a topic that
- 1:33I might have some expertise in.
- 1:35So, you know, I will give you two scenarios. One is your scenario and one is my scenario.
- 1:40So in my scenario, I'm an only child. So having lost my father at a very young
- 1:46age, for me, it was a no brainer.
- 1:48My mother was fiercely independent to the point of pathology,
- 1:52but whatever she let me do, I would do.
- 1:54And it was certainly a, it was a pleasure. It was an honor. It was a spiritual.
- 2:00You know, a task and a spiritual reward to take care of my mom and have her die with dignity.
- 2:06And then from a perspective like you with siblings becomes a little more complicated.
- 2:12So not only do you have the pain of watching your strong and,
- 2:15and, you know, guiding lights as parents, you know, start to get older and start
- 2:20to show their age and start to break down.
- 2:23You also then not you personally or whatever, but then you're going to have
- 2:27to feel, you know, deal with family dynamics, right?
- 2:30So with my beautiful wife, you know, she took unbelievable care of her parents
- 2:35and she had two siblings who managed it very differently.
- 2:40We had my mother-in-law live in our home, you know, for three years and she
- 2:44was treated like I gave up my bedroom to her.
- 2:47That's how much she was revered. Some people take that position where like the
- 2:53sky's the limit and you will do anything for your family and take them into
- 2:57your home and you will treat them like gods and goddesses.
- 3:01And that's one way and give them everything they possibly could need both for
- 3:05safety and their healthcare, as well as the enjoyment of their life or what it's left of their life.
- 3:10Or you could go the other way and just not be helpful. It's very complicated
- 3:15issue. It's a very complicated subject.
- 3:18But as I said, I live both ends of it. And I will say that my recommendation.
- 3:24Is to do more rather than do less and participate more and try to bridge differences
- 3:31with your siblings in order to put the needs of the parents above your own needs.
- 3:36And if you guys do that, I think that you will be blessed in so many ways that
- 3:41I can't even describe it.
- 3:43I agree. And I thank you for that comment, but I also want to end this way too.
- 3:47I am not a perfect man. I found myself for a very short period of time while
- 3:53running errands, getting a little frustrated, frustrated because I,
- 3:56I had things I had to do, but thank the Lord.
- 4:00And I thank you God immensely for knocking some sense into my, into right into my face.
- 4:07I remember just for just a quick second hearing, I felt like maybe even the
- 4:12voice of somebody in my family, I don't know, saying, but you don't know how
- 4:16much longer you're going to have them. So why don't you enjoy every second?
- 4:20And my attitude changed. So I wanted to say that because I wanted to let everybody
- 4:26know that if you are feeling that way, you're not alone. We get frustrated. We're human.
- 4:30So it's okay to be a little frustrated, but just have a little bit more patience
- 4:34because when you wanted that toy, they got it for you.
- 4:39When you wanted that bike, they got it for you.
- 4:42When your father was in the basement trying to create miracles to figure out
- 4:46whether he's going to turn the heat off or have a Christmas, Christmas came.
- 4:51You have to remember that they do things for the best of your ability.
- 4:55And now it's time to return the favor. Let's pray.
- 4:59Heavenly Father, you gave us life. You gave us hope. You gave us parents.
- 5:03You gave us inspiration.
- 5:05We gave us hope and you gave us wisdom.
- 5:08All that couldn't be possible without the birth of the children of our parents
- 5:13and our parents' parents and so on and so forth.
- 5:16We ask you now, Lord, to give all of us some patience to place your healing hands upon us.
- 5:24And also for those that have taken care of their parents and have gone on to
- 5:28be with the Lord and maybe feel lonely, feel that they have,
- 5:32maybe they didn't do enough, feel like they could have done more.
- 5:35I say this to you, God bless you for what you did.
- 5:39God bless you for the time you took to be with your father, mother,
- 5:44grandmother, whoever raised you.
- 5:46And thank you for having the patience and thank God for allowing that to come through.
- 5:52May God be with you. May he shine his light upon you and grant each and every
- 5:55single one of you peace on earth. And never forget, Have Faith,
- 5:59Let It Begin, baby. Beautifully done, Angel.
- 6:01Take care. Thank you for listening to Have Faith, Let It Begin. We'll be back tomorrow.
- 6:07Thank you for listening to another episode of Have Faith, Let It Begin.
- 6:10That's right, Ariel. We're done with another show. And it's always great to
- 6:14have this show with you, my love.
- 6:16You know, we're going to encourage each and every person to listen to our show
- 6:19every single weekday. That's right. You and I are going to help change the world.
- 6:23Do you think that you can do that for me? Huh? Yeah, you know you can.
- 6:28She does. We want to let you know, and yes, we encourage you to listen to our
- 6:33show each and every weekday, and it's going to be live at 7.30.
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- 6:40Fasten those seatbelts, because Ariel and I and my family are going to bring
- 6:44you a new topic, a new story, each and every day, right? Isn't that right, Ariel?
- 6:50Yeah. And we...
- 6:53She's smiling at me. guys enjoy
- 6:55your day thank you for listening to have faith for begin we'll be back.
- 7:01Music.