Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Was any of the relationship with a narcissist real?

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Was any of the relationship with a narcissist real? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on? Beautiful people.
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of the nurses is cold.
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  I'm your favorite self-aware, narcissist mr.
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  Lee hammock better known as mental illness across all social
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  media platforms. This your first time seeing my
• 0:12
  face are here, my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist, and I use my platform on social media to
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  raise awareness for MPD. Get more people into therapy and
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  also validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said
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  disorder said talk to people to talk to Drake's and today's
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  episode is going to be about was any of it real?
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  Deal with a narcissist. Whoo.
• 0:33
  Yeah before we get started on today's episode, check out
• 0:35
  myself love journal on Amazon Lee hammock self-love, I love
• 0:39
  me. Help, had to help you rebuild
• 0:41
  yourself. Love regain their self
• 0:43
  development and they'll that identity as well.
• 0:46
  Yeah, link is about description of every video and every podcast
• 0:49
  I do just check it out. All you can go Amazon, Lee
• 0:51
  himself look if you are to get the journal give me a give me a
• 0:53
  good review on that thing. I appreciate child upstairs.
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  So was any of it real with an artist?
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  And I know people are going to say y'all A lot of people I want
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  to just automatically just say no it was all fake, it was not
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  real and whatnot. Yeah.
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  So this took II understand why people say that I really really
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  do and I'm a of the ilk, whatever helps.
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  Whatever helps you heal believe that you didn't think.
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  That's what, that's what I'm that's what I think, you know,
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  whatever helps you healed on your journey, believe that.
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  But just for me, it isn't my coaching, the coaching, I've
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  done, you know, thousands of people I've talked to it worked
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  with and help them with not, I just don't think I can just tell
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  people that it wasn't real. Because in my mind in my heart,
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  as a nurse's, a lot of it was real for me.
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  You see? I'm saying a lot of it was real
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  for me. So I feel like I would be
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  disingenuous to tell people. Hey, look, that 40-year
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  marriage. Did you had was your with your
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  partner was faking all of none of it was real.
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  Get over it. Live your life, learn the hill.
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  What? The kids used to be like you
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  built together the kids, the grandkids, the great, great
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  grandkids, all of it was fake get over it.
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  Like, y'all will literally tell somebody today face and just
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  mean it, and expect people to heal and get over there and I
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  can see how you can you see how telling somebody that directly
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  like that will lead them to can lead them to a spiral you know,
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  believe it into a spiral of possible sadness and whatnot.
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  But you see so this is for me y'all.
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  Y'all can even see the cognitive empathy that I have for people
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  to understand, like that would hurt that.
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  You know so in my mind was any of it real the Garces?
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  Yeah. I feel like if anything if any
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  part of it was real I do feel like the main the beginning part
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  was real but they had which they look what they saw.
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  They saw in you and this is me people to experience from
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  personal perspective because I know I don't speak for all
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  nurses. But what they saw in you is
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  typically what they'll act within themselves.
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  This is how my mind feels. You mean?
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  They might have saw in you. Somebody did, they feel like
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  felt like To complete them. And they actually might have
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  felt like you completed them, right?
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  Doing that. Love by my face doing it
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  idealization face. Like you are perfect.
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  For is like you. You you know that yet the yin
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  and yang symbol you did, we are now yin and yang.
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  You completed me. Like, well, I feel like I like
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  within myself. I feel like you possessed and I
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  feel like I like that, I like feeling Complete because
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  internally since I like feeling complete internally, I express
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  that externally. This ho doing the idealization
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  phases. The first phase deal of bombing
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  He's the narcissistic person is probably in love with you.
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  They really think they look, they really want to be with you.
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  They really think you complete them.
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  They really probably think that they found their soul mate and
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  they will treat you as such. Yeah, I know people going to say
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  how long does the Love on my face last y'all it last as long
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  as it lasts there is no time limit on.
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  There is no time limit on how long did not the Love on the
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  phase will? Last it just isn't there's no
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  time limit, there's no time. Like there isn't y'all so I tell
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  people because there's no time limit on it, just you have to
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  just base yourself. You have to come to stuff that,
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  you know, you have to take your time and just like, okay and you
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  can't get it back out. It can never go back to the
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  beginning. It just can't y'all.
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  So, the most real part for me or the big, the big moments, I feel
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  like even even in my mind, the big moments were real for me.
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  The birth of my child us getting married, all this other stuff
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  that was real for me too. So I'm just like when people
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  just say none of it was real, I just Out, I don't believe that
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  for. So let me preface this, they're
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  gonna let me rewind. First, the preface or we're
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  never really, it was really great.
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  So some people you're not just dealing with your regular
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  run-of-the-mill, Darcy, some people are dealing with
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  sociopaths. And, yo, it's possible people
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  who possess a lot of high level of psychopathy.
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  Those people is afraid. Those are fake people.
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  A lot of them are fake, disingenuous people who create
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  these characters that you fall in love with the narcissist
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  create characters. Yes, absolutely.
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  Yes. But I create this character
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  because I do feel genuine. I feel like I do feel genuine
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  feelings for you and it's not me saying, nurses are better than
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  sociopaths, are people a SPD or anything like that?
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  That's not made with this. Just my perspective.
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  Y'all again some people that I do believe some of it was real,
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  you know. But I don't feel like in this
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  situation in order for you to heal, if you've been dealing
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  with the nurses in order for you to heal I would just say don't
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  try not to focus on the good times.
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  The real Dave I just said because a lot of the good times
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  I feel like what the real Times, which makes it easy for you to
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  focus on like, focusing on the good times doesn't help you move
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  forward. I don't think because sometimes
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  focus on the good times requires you to look back and you look
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  back it just when you look back, you see the good times.
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  He's like, hey, it wasn't all bad.
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  Let me go back until sometimes. When you look back, you go back,
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  you know, me? Because you go you are afraid
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  of. What was you afraid of?
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  What's in front of you now? So you continue to your
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  continued. Don't know what's in front of
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  you. It's like all you're welcome
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  through the fog. You said I'm saying you walking
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  forward through the fog, get away from you.
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  I was it was he did this relationship real, like it's
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  foggy as hell. Like, imagine being on a long
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  highway, right? And you're walking, there's no
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  car but you can be you can be in the car but this is imagine you.
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  Did you walk in right? Take your time.
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  Be fair with me right here. Yeah.
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  And as you went along Highway in the middle of nowhere in this is
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  like you leaving your tots relationship.
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  The only way out. The only way out of your tots
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  relationship with his narcissistic.
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  Person is Select literally walk down this aisle.
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  This one way in one way out, you have to walk it and it's foggy
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  as hell. You don't know what you don't
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  know, what you don't know, what's in front of you.
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  You know, you can't even see your feet.
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  You don't know what's one step in front of you, but you have to
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  trust yourself to walk for, right?
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  You have to trust yourself to walk forth through this fall
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  because other people have made it out before.
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  All right, you've seen other, you've heard about other people
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  making out before you've seen videos about people making it up
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  before, right? People with people have been
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  through this fog. So there's people on the other
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  side, you just have to trust the process.
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  This is the other people on the side of this fog, right?
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  But in front of you, is the fog. Well, you can't see what's
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  coming if you can't see what's coming next, but guess what's
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  behind you behind? You is clear behind, you is
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  clear skies behind you is behind.
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  You is clear. Skies you look back, you can see
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  all the good times but guess what, the bad times are in
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  there, too. So you can see the good times
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  and the bad times, you know what's behind you, you know, was
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  by, you know, what's in the relationship behind you?
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  It looks beautiful, it looks so. Rain and look like there's palm
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  trees, there's big buildings. There's a lot of stuff over
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  there, right? But there's smog in the air,
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  there's smog in. There is like little you can see
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  clearly because you know, his back, you've been there, you've
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  lived there for you. So you know what's back, there
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  is clear as hell. You know, it's back there.
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  The person you the person or people who've hurt you or back
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  there to do, you mean they're waiting for you there?
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  Standing there, standing in the middle of the street and
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  sometimes, sometimes they're walking behind you, trying to
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  get you to come back. Hey, come back, come back, we'll
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  change that will get rid of the small gun are.
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  I just smoke will be gone. Hey, I'll get rid of the toxins
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  I go to therapy. I go get help and you hear that,
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  you can look back at least, sometimes you go back because at
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  least, you know what's behind, you least, you know what, you're
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  dealing with right there. Fear, sometimes y'all was any of
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  it real. That part is real you.
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  Your life was real. Yeah, I'm not going to, I'm
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  gonna start until you wasted your life with somebody.
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  Take it for what it is. Now was any of it real for the
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  narcissistic person? I'm telling you a lot of a lot
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  of it was real until their idea. Like once they're idealized
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  image of you that Perfect Image, they have of you in their head
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  gets shattered. That's when they decimate.
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  The realness kind of goes away. They become who they actually
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  are you see them saying they are their real selves.
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  So if they're being a real selves and typically y'all their
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  real selves is going to devalue you and treat you badly.
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  It doesn't mean that there get there get there.
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  It doesn't mean that they'll break up with.
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  You. It doesn't mean that they're go
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  away from me. They'll keep you around, they
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  will emotionally get rid of you. A lot of times way before if and
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  when they physically discard you and get rid of you, you know, I
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  mean so the physical discard doesn't always everybody.
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  Everybody doesn't get physically discarded.
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  A lot of people just get, you know, emotionally discarded and
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  the emotional discard is rough. It can absolutely be rough.
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  You know, to be did if you're dealing with a narcissist or
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  toxic person. You understand exactly what I'm
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  saying, like it's going to be it's rough you how rough times,
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  you know. So you have to empower yourself
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  to get To this point. There's like, is any of it real?
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  Take the pot luck y'all, you have a kids and stuff like that.
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  You, it was any of it. Real, you can someone tell me
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  y'all Walker with kids, you know you're only doing this deserted
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  roll, you walking with kids and grandkids and houses.
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  You can get a house. You got a dog with you or your
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  kids not real. Your family like was your family
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  that act like y'all is going to hurt and going to suck because
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  narcissistic people are like you know sometimes like the false
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  people you know we present we don't present who we really are
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  up front. We've recently present who we
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  can be. You fall in love who we can be.
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  You follow with the typically fall in love with the potential
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  of who we are to you know even if we have a little flaws and
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  stuff like that in beginning, sometimes y'all willing to
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  overlook them because you see the good in them, you see the
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  potential in them, you might ignore the red flags, this is a
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  real person you're dealing. Y'all your light a lot of your
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  life was real but this is not new to say the bad times were
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  real to you. The good times, real be bad
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  times were real, too. What gives you more just like
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  yeah, whatever helps you heal. Of course you can.
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  Yeah if you don't want to leave any of it was real I promise
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  you. It doesn't hurt me at all.
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  Don't they helps you heal. Got none of it was real, he'll
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  that way, but it's just in my mind, the par taught me a lot of
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  it was real, but a lot of it was painful in suck.
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  Do you want to go back to that realness right there?
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  Real pain, real emotions, real sadness, real hurt.
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  Real cheating, real lying, real, physical abuse, real.
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  Mental abuse, with that, not real to that, that was real.
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  To. So when you take when you if you
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  think some of those real you have to take the bad parts with
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  until you kids. Can't look at the good part.
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  So that was real, that was real. That was real.
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  The bathtub was real too. You made the best of, and from
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  The Narcissist mind, the bad times happened to, but it
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  somehow some way shape or form was always your fault.
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  It's really easy. It might not have been your
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  fault me that my mind. It really is your fault.
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  So, yeah, I have to treat you a certain type of way because I'm
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  blaming you for my behaviors. I'm holding you accountable for
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  my behaviors because I refuse to hold myself accountable, So it
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  was any of it real. Yes, Y'all.
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  A lot of it was real but it doesn't mean there's a positive,
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  doesn't mean you go back. You met with whatever helps you
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  heal. Y'all are like in my mind.
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  A lot of it was real. The devaluation stage.
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  I'm angry as hell like when they perfect image of you shatters
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  and it's not your fault that the Perfect Image shatters are you
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  and not a perfect person, you can't be perfect.
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  But when that narcissist looks as you like, you were a pervert,
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  like you in perfect now. Now remember I said, you
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  remember, I said in the beginning, we feel like you
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  complete us, but because sub because this perfect image of
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  you shatters, we feel incomplete now, And being incomplete
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  feeling incomplete for a nurse's is like a damn near damn near
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  emotional mental, death sentence for narcissistic people.
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  It's not me trying to get you feel sorry for them because they
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  truck in this part right here because we feel like we're dying
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  inside because we feel like you lied to us.
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  We feel like you manipulated us now.
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  We have to get you back now, we see the Avengers.
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  Are you? Because you feel like you lie to
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  us, you didn't like to a child. You didn't present yourself as a
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  perfect person. You're not a perfect person,
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  once they Darcy's viewed. You is imperfect because we are
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  all imperfect people. You could have just said.
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  So you could say the word know The word no makes you an
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  imperfect person. Yeah.
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  It's it could be as simple as that.
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  It's gonna be a simple as you said in a boundary and saying no
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  no I want to deal with that. You it could, that's what it
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  could be right there. Yeah absolutely.
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  Take it for what it was. I would look at it.
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  Look at it, you know. You don't you can't erase it.
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  If you could, can you erase this?
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  Give you erase 10. 20, 30 years of your life.
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  Can you erase your children? Give a race to the stuff.
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  You the life you might have built together.
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  Can you want to erase it? But you take it.
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  What it is? I look at it.
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  Look at it. Understand what you went through
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  and I move forward. You don't have to take it with.
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  You don't have to look, you can take your family with.
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  You can take your kid. Take your dog, whatever.
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  You can leave that person behind in that City.
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  It's a beautiful city out, but through that fog I promise you,
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  there's a, there's a beautiful, there's something more beautiful
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  out there for you. There's something waiting for
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  you is freedom, you can. Once you get through that fog,
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  once the fog lifts you defer to get under the further, you get
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  away from that City, the more the fog lifts, and then you see
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  beautiful. You like them?
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  This is way better. The fog lifts is the city you go
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  to his way, but you know. Whoa, I didn't notice.
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  This is real to. This is realer.
• 13:05
  This is the life I deserve. So go get the life.
• 13:07
  You deserve y'all. And in this Meet.
• 13:09
  No, this is not me in no way, shape or form, trying to just
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  tell you how to go back to what type of relationship.
• 13:14
  This is me just trying to help you heal and move forward to
• 13:17
  stay out of that. You do mean accept it.
• 13:20
  For what it is Empower yourself be as strong as you possibly can
• 13:24
  like And subscribe for more and you'll get the self-love Journal
• 13:26
  because it self-love Journal can help the fog lifts the faster as
• 13:29
  well. Yeah, stay tuned for more like
• 13:30
  And subscribe for more but the who desire peace.