Latest / J&B Live Podcast / I Love You, But I Don't Like You — Family, Friends, Faith & Boundaries
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome to another episode of J&B Live.
- 0:06Guys, we've got it tonight. We have an interesting topic for you guys.
- 0:11We're talking about I love you, but I don't like you.
- 0:15This is concerning family, friends, faith, and boundaries. Yes.
- 0:20So thank you guys for joining and being a part of the J&B family.
- 0:26We appreciate you guys. Hey, the last good guy. Hey, Juice and hey, Shannon.
- 0:31How are you guys doing this evening? Okay, we're going to be joined shortly
- 0:34by Broker J3. Bring me on up. I hope everybody's having a good evening.
- 0:40We're going to bring Broker J3. Bring him on up so he can join this conversation
- 0:45that we're having. We are talking about, I love you, but I don't like you.
- 0:51Family friends faith and boundaries all right broker j3 you're in the house.
- 0:58So guys thank you good evening good evening everybody welcome welcome back to
- 1:05another episode of jmb live we had some issues but i think we're back on track right now guys i think,
- 1:13your patience i think we resolved the dot b we'll find we'll find out in a few
- 1:16minutes if we if we took care of them.
- 1:19I think we did. So hopefully, guys, we can get back on track.
- 1:22We'll apologize if it was an inconvenience for you guys. We hate when we have
- 1:28those kind of technical difficulties, but we think we got it together.
- 1:33Okay, so right now, let's see. We got some type of issue. There's an echo on the Beagle Live.
- 1:46You check the devices. Make sure it's only just one. No, it's still there.
- 1:54Okay, Broker J3, do you hear it? Can you hear me, Broker J3?
- 1:59I hear you just fine, Dr. B.
- 2:01Okay, so there's still an echo when you speak.
- 2:05Hey, guys. Hey, how are you doing? Go ahead and give a shout out,
- 2:08Broker J3, so they can at least hear you.
- 2:11Hey, guys. Appreciate you guys joining in. and some of you ones that may have
- 2:15returned. We had to start the podcast over. We had some technical difficulties,
- 2:20but we hopefully think we took care of that.
- 2:24Yeah, that echo is still there, but we do appreciate it.
- 2:29Yeah, I don't know where it could be coming from, Doc B.
- 2:35Okay, guys, thank you again for joining us. Welcome to another episode of JMB
- 2:40Live. We are so glad that you guys decided to join us this evening.
- 2:45Broker Day 3, can you do a testing, testing right quick for me, please?
- 2:49All right. Testing, testing, testing.
- 2:53Testing. Okay. Can you hear that sound? Can you hear yourself, J3?
- 3:01Can you hear yourself on Beagle Live? No.
- 3:05Hold on. Let me try something different, Dot B. Hold on.
- 3:09All right, guys. So good evening. Good evening. Thank you guys for being a part
- 3:13of the J&B family. Hey, Q Brown. How are you this evening?
- 3:18Yeah. I'm not sure, Dot B. I'm not sure where it's coming from.
- 3:24Yeah, it is an echo sound. Hold on one second. Let me try something else.
- 3:28Dot B, hold on. Dot B, hold on.
- 3:31I think it may be this tablet because it's hard for me to turn the tablet all
- 3:36the way down to zero. We're turning the volume actually all...
- 3:38Okay, no, don't worry about that. How about now, Dot B? Did I take care of it? Yeah, you did.
- 3:44I did? Okay. All right. Yes, you did. Okay. All right. I had to kill my mic on Beagle.
- 3:50Okay. Perfect. Perfect. Okay, guys. So guys, you guys are in for a treat tonight.
- 3:56And guess what? You deserve a treat tonight because you have been patient.
- 4:01You have been waiting for this particular topic.
- 4:04We're talking about I love you, but I don't like you when it comes to family,
- 4:08friends, faith, and boundaries.
- 4:10All of that, all of that wrapped into one.
- 4:13So good evening and welcome back to another episode of J&B Live.
- 4:17I am your girl, Dr. B, and alongside me is my co-host, who's with us virtually,
- 4:24BrokerJ3. Shout out to our audience, BrokerJ3.
- 4:29Welcome, guys. Appreciate you guys from joining us. And again,
- 4:32thank you for your patience as we work through that technical difficulty.
- 4:36And thank you again, guys, because, you know, just think about it.
- 4:40You guys could have went anywhere else, but you're still here,
- 4:44Varan. Varan, thank you. We're glad you decided to spend part of your evening.
- 4:49I don't care if it's a minute or two. We'll take the whole time now for sure.
- 4:53But if you're here for a minute or two, we are still grateful.
- 4:57So tonight's episode is one that I believe is something that almost every adult
- 5:04has wrestled with at some point in time.
- 5:07You know, we all had that one person in that family, at least one guys,
- 5:13that's in the family that you love, but you don't really like them.
- 5:16So we're going to actually say out loud what you're thinking.
- 5:20You're thinking it, but you don't want to say it out loud. So we're going to
- 5:23do it for you. So you often hear people that say, I love someone,
- 5:28but I just don't like them. Okay?
- 5:30But what happens when that's no longer true? You should, if you love them,
- 5:35you should definitely like them. Right, Broker Day 3?
- 5:38Exactly. You know, I mean, you should, Dr. B. But, you know.
- 5:44Sometimes, you know, you can love somebody and not necessarily like them or their actions. Right?
- 5:50Okay, that is so true. So what happens when your heart still loves someone,
- 5:55but your spirit struggles to enjoy being around them? In other words,
- 5:59they get on your last nerve, okay?
- 6:02So maybe it's a parent, maybe it's an adult child, maybe it's your brother,
- 6:07maybe it's your sister, your cousin, your spouse, or even your best friend.
- 6:12God, it could actually get to the best friend.
- 6:15And you will still answer the phone from them if they called you and if there was an emergency.
- 6:21You'll still pray for them. You'll still be there to help them if they genuinely need you.
- 6:27Yeah, of course you're going to be there. But every conversation leaves you
- 6:31emotionally drained, guys. So tonight we're going to separate love from light,
- 6:36forgiveness from trust, loyalty from enabling.
- 6:41This conversation is not for the weak person, guys.
- 6:45And it isn't about judging anybody because that's not what we are here to do.
- 6:49It's about understanding relationships and protecting your peace while I'm still
- 6:54walking in love. And y'all know I am an advocate for protecting your peace. That's right.
- 7:03And guys, we already know this conversation hits home for a lot of people because it's the truth.
- 7:09You know, and the truth is, people feel guilty for admitting the fact that they
- 7:13don't like people, even though they love them.
- 7:15They think they don't enjoy being around somebody anymore.
- 7:19And somehow that means that they stopped loving them. But they didn't stop loving
- 7:23them. They just don't like them anymore.
- 7:26Because I feel like this. I don't believe necessarily that that.
- 7:33That you hate, you don't love a person because you don't like them.
- 7:37I think there are a lot of people who genuinely love their family or their friends
- 7:42or whatever, but yet they don't like the choices that they make.
- 7:46They don't like the disrespect.
- 7:48They don't like manipulation. They don't like the negativity.
- 7:52So that doesn't mean that that person disappeared from you. It just means that
- 7:56they're being honest about the fact that they don't like your actions.
- 8:03And this is a touchy subject guys this is a touchy subject for a lot of people,
- 8:08because of this particular topic here so guys so tonight,
- 8:14we're asking everyone to be honest just be completely honest just pull down
- 8:19those little barriers or whatever,
- 8:21you're not going to be hateful you're just going to be honest so grab your phone
- 8:25i want you to share this live we need you guys to comment because they affect the algorithm.
- 8:30I want you to invite your family. I want you to invite your friends.
- 8:34And let's have a real conversation about, I love you, but I don't like you.
- 8:42All right, Dot B. So let's get into it.
- 8:45Love and like, they're not the same thing, okay? So that's the biggest misconception,
- 8:51and we talked about this.
- 8:52People use love and like like they mean the same thing, and we know that they do not.
- 8:59Yeah, they do not mean it. You're correct, Broker J3. They do not mean the same
- 9:03thing. So love is often a decision.
- 9:07Like is often a feeling, how you actually feel.
- 9:11So love can, guys, guess what? It can remain after the excitement phase.
- 9:16Just think about it. You've had a relationship with somebody that ended,
- 9:19but you still love that person, you know, even though you're not in a relationship anymore.
- 9:24Life can change based on someone's behavior, how they're behaving,
- 9:29their attitudes, or the way that they treat you.
- 9:32That's why parents continue loving children who make terrible decisions.
- 9:38We got to, all of us probably have had some children, some of our children who've
- 9:41made some decisions that we did not agree with.
- 9:44But it doesn't mean that they like those decisions. We still love them.
- 9:49We just don't like the decisions that they make.
- 9:52Of course, that's powerful, Dr. B, because, you know, that's a good distinction between the two.
- 9:58You know, parents, they spend years worrying about adult children or those children
- 10:04that may be addicted to drugs and always in trouble.
- 10:07You know, that doesn't mean that they don't love that child,
- 10:09but they do not like the chaos that comes with that child.
- 10:14Yeah, yeah. And, you know, not just child. Now, you got some siblings, too, guys.
- 10:19We got some siblings who don't like the actions of our siblings.
- 10:23And it's the same thing. You can love your brother or your sister because he
- 10:29is your brother or your sister.
- 10:31But just think about it. That doesn't mean you have to like them. And just think about it.
- 10:34Sometimes every family gathering, they're going to cause some drama.
- 10:39I don't care what it is. Fourth of July picnic, Labor Day, weddings,
- 10:44it doesn't matter. They bring drama to the table.
- 10:48Every conversation with them turns into an argument and you're asking yourself
- 10:51now, why is this? Why does this continue to happen?
- 10:54So, guys, eventually, guess what you're going to do?
- 10:57You're going to limit spending time with them because I know I wouldn't want
- 10:59to spend time with anybody who's constantly causing drama.
- 11:04Not because you stopped loving them, but because you're protecting your emotional health.
- 11:10Yeah, and it also happens in marriages, Doc B.
- 11:14You know, couples can still love each other, yet stop enjoying each other's
- 11:17company because of poor communication, broken trust, or even walls that they
- 11:22may have built up, you know, from one another.
- 11:25Loving someone doesn't automatically mean that you enjoy every moment with them.
- 11:32Come on, we've all been in relationships, and sometimes we can't stand our significant
- 11:37other. But that don't mean we don't love them.
- 11:40Well, guys, that's something to be in a relationship and you can't stand your significant other.
- 11:45OK, that's that's crazy. OK, but guess what? Faith does teach us,
- 11:49guys. And those of you who are heavy in the scripture, it teaches us that we,
- 11:54must always love one another.
- 11:56And see, some of you are rooted in your faith.
- 11:59It doesn't say we have to approve of everyone's behavior or ignore our very
- 12:05own wisdom. because you just think about it, they don't took some of us around
- 12:09the block several times.
- 12:10Loving people doesn't mean abandoning your discernment.
- 12:15No, it doesn't. All right, guys. We want to hear from you guys real quick, guys.
- 12:21Send us a shout-out of your city and state, where you guys are listening from.
- 12:26We'd like to know where you guys are chiming in from.
- 12:32We got Angela from Dallas, Texas. We got Marcus. She's from Atlanta, Georgia.
- 12:38And we also have, what is that, Sandra. She's from Chicago, Illinois.
- 12:42Okay. And on my end, I see Kyle Lynn, TMZZ, Novatop333. So, guys,
- 12:49we thank you for being a part of the JMP family.
- 12:52And we thank you for stopping by, you know, just for a few minutes and for giving
- 12:57us your time. That's so important because let's think about it.
- 13:00There's tons and tons of podcasts that are out there.
- 13:04So we appreciate every single minute that you spend with us. Okay. So thank you.
- 13:10And big shout-outs to Jasmine Don from Wichita, Kansas. We appreciate you for.
- 13:17Joining us. Thank you so much for coming back for another episode of J&B Live.
- 13:22And I want to give a big shout-out to everybody that's joining us from Florida,
- 13:26Texas, Georgia, New York, California, Tennessee, Alabama, North Carolina.
- 13:32We appreciate you guys. We love when you see you guys chiming in from all over the country.
- 13:38Thank you so much for joining J&B. Now, if this is your first time here with
- 13:43J&B Live, please make sure you hit that follow button.
- 13:46And if you're joining us on YouTube, hit that subscribe.
- 13:50And for you guys out there that's not following us on YouTube,
- 13:56please take a quick moment, shoot on over to YouTube at Live with J&B and make
- 14:00sure you guys subscribe.
- 14:02We're on a goal to hit 20,000 subscribers. So please help us to reach our goal,
- 14:07guys. So make sure you slide over to YouTube, at Live with J and B,
- 14:12and subscribe. It's free. All right. We want to get in. Okay,
- 14:14so Jay, there's a question.
- 14:16Did you ask that question, Broker, Jennifer, if we wanted to get some feedback from our audience?
- 14:21Say that again. Can we ask the question about, you know, can you honestly say
- 14:27you love someone while not liking who they become?
- 14:32Well, no, no. That's a good question, Dot B. Okay. Okay. All right. That's a good question.
- 14:39All right. Guys, answer the question real quick, Dot B.
- 14:43I say, can you honestly say you love someone while not liking who they become?
- 14:49Put a yes, no, or it's complicated, depending on what's your personal experience.
- 14:56Okay, I like that it's complicated part. I like that.
- 15:00So yes or no, or it's complicated. Hey, David, how are you this evening?
- 15:07Saka wife, how are you? Kyle Lynn, how are you doing this evening?
- 15:11To deter you on okay all right now okay so we've got a comment from angela,
- 15:19who lives in dallas texas she said my older brother i love him but every conversation
- 15:27that i have with him turns into an argument,
- 15:30do you have those family members guys anybody can agree with angela this evening.
- 15:35All right. We also got Marcus, who chimed in earlier from Atlanta.
- 15:40He said, my best friend changed after he started making money.
- 15:43I still love him, but I don't recognize him anymore. Oh, wow.
- 15:47Wow. So we do have people that change on us when they start making a little money, guys.
- 15:52And then we have Sandra from Chicago, Illinois, that says, this conversation
- 15:58is already hitting me hard. Because guess what?
- 16:01It affects a lot of us. A lot of us don't want to admit it, but we love people, but we don't like them.
- 16:08And even family members and close friends.
- 16:11All right, Dot B. So let's go ahead and jump into it. When family changes, but the love remains.
- 16:19Okay, guys. So before we go any further, shout out to our top gifter this evening.
- 16:25Thank you guys for joining us. Now, remember, guys, we need your city and state
- 16:29so we know where you're hailing in from.
- 16:31And also, we want you to comment because the comments do affect the algorithm.
- 16:36So thank you guys for your hearts.
- 16:39Thank you for your likes. Thank you for subscribing. We appreciate every single gift.
- 16:45All right, guys. So what happens when family changes, Broker J3,
- 16:52but the love remains? Yeah. Let's talk about it, Doc B.
- 16:56Yeah. That's a lot of us are in that situation. So this is one of the hardest
- 17:00realities for adulthood because, you know, we have to accept the family members.
- 17:06They do change. You know, we don't know what happens. Sometimes they become
- 17:11people that we never expected them to become. You know, you ask yourself, who is this person?
- 17:17Especially if it's a child, you're asking yourself now, is this my child that
- 17:22I raised? Who has this child become? So you have to think about it,
- 17:25guys. Maybe life has hardened that person.
- 17:29Maybe disappointment has changed them. Maybe they simply made choices that has
- 17:35altered the character, has altered who they really are.
- 17:39Yeah, and you know what? And because they are family, you know,
- 17:43people expect us to accept everything.
- 17:46You know, they say that's your mother or that's your father or even that's your sister or son.
- 17:52But being related doesn't erase the pain that someone can cause.
- 17:57That's right. Broker J3 is sure not. It's not going anywhere.
- 18:00So, guys, we have to think about the boundaries. We all want healthy boundaries.
- 18:05They are not acts of hate. They are acts of wisdom. They are acts of wisdom.
- 18:12You can answer the phone if that person calls you that you really love but you
- 18:17don't like. If that person calls you.
- 18:21You can answer the phone without answering every last one of their demands.
- 18:25Because, you know, most of the time they're going to call and they're going
- 18:27to want something. Yeah.
- 18:28You can love someone without allowing them unlimited access to your peace.
- 18:35And that's what we're talking about, guys, actually protecting your peace.
- 18:39Yeah. And, you know, I know families where you have one sibling is always expected
- 18:44to solve everybody's problem.
- 18:46You know, they pay the bill. They babysit the children. They loan money. They fix emergencies.
- 18:52And then when they finally say, I can't do this anymore, suddenly family members
- 18:57are calling them selfish.
- 18:59Yeah, that's what happens. And so that's emotional manipulation, guys.
- 19:03Love should not be measured on how much someone allows themselves to be used.
- 19:09People are using you and then they're measuring your love based on what you do for them.
- 19:15Healthy relationships, I don't care if it's a friend or if it's a family,
- 19:19involve mutual respect, appreciation, and accountability. That's right, Dr. B.
- 19:28And sometimes the most loving thing a person can do is stop rescuing someone
- 19:33long enough for them to take responsibility for their own actions.
- 19:38Yeah, yes, yes. And we talked about that, Broker J3. I think that was last Thursday.
- 19:43We talked about enabling people.
- 19:45You don't intend to do it. You think you're helping them, but you're actually
- 19:49enabling them and they need to take accountability for their own action.
- 19:53So that was a different podcast. We're talking about a little bit different,
- 19:56something different, but they are intertwined. They are intertwined.
- 20:00So guys, let's talk about Maria Broker J3.
- 20:03Okay, get into it, Doc B. Okay, so Maria, she loves her mama.
- 20:08Now, you know how we are about our mama.
- 20:10She visits her mama regularly.
- 20:13She helps her mama get her mama to her doctor's appointment.
- 20:15She buys groceries, and she calls her mom several times a week.
- 20:20But every visit with her mom ends the same way.
- 20:24The mom criticizes her appearance, the way she looks, questioning her parenting
- 20:30skills, compares her to the other siblings. You know how that is.
- 20:34They do that sometimes just to piss you off.
- 20:37And reminds her of the mistakes she made 20 years ago. So can you imagine how Maria is feeling?
- 20:45She leaves every visit feeling defeated. But guess what?
- 20:50She still loves her mom, which that's what she's supposed to do. She loves her deeply.
- 20:54But she no longer enjoys being around her mom. So you have to ask yourself, does she like her mom?
- 21:01No. So, but you know, Dr. B, that's more common than people realize.
- 21:05The question becomes, is Maria wrong for shortening her visits and protecting
- 21:10her emotional well-being?
- 21:11And, you know, and it ain't nothing wrong with that.
- 21:14Or does honoring her mother also includes honoring the person God created Maria to be?
- 21:20You know, you have to understand loving someone does not mean that you have
- 21:26to keep putting yourself through that emotional distress.
- 21:30Yes. I agree with you 100%. And I agree with Maria, to be honest with you.
- 21:35So you have to think about it, guys.
- 21:37The boundaries that she is creating, they are not rejection.
- 21:40She's not rejecting her mom. She still loves her mom and she's still going to
- 21:43do for her mom. She just don't like being around her.
- 21:46So sometimes they're the only way, these boundaries are the only way a relationship can survive.
- 21:52And there's nothing wrong with that. Your peace is more important.
- 21:56All right, guys. All right, guys. So we need you guys involved as well,
- 21:59Broker J3. We want our audience to chime in. This is a very good topic.
- 22:04And like I said earlier, I'm sure some of you are experiencing this.
- 22:08So we need you guys to drop us your city and state and let us know where you
- 22:12guys are from and join in on the conversation.
- 22:16All right, guys. So let me ask you guys this question. Have you ever had to
- 22:19create healthy boundaries with your family members?
- 22:24Type yes, no, or you're still learning.
- 22:27Okay, well, Broker Day 3, I'm going to put it in. I'm going to put it out there.
- 22:31You know, I don't have anything to hide.
- 22:32I had to create some boundaries. I had to create some boundaries for my own peace.
- 22:37I'm not going to say who I created those boundaries with, but I believe solely in protecting my peace.
- 22:44So, you know, I did have to create boundaries. And you don't want to.
- 22:48You still love that person, but your own peace and sanity is more important.
- 22:54And that was, I saw that broker J3 as a means of be choosing me. Okay.
- 23:01Mm-hmm. All right. So James. Yeah.
- 23:04Yeah. I see a comment from James as well. James from Birmingham says,
- 23:08I had to distant myself from my cousin after years of drama.
- 23:14And guys, guess what? This is so sad. You got family members.
- 23:19Siblings, mother-son, mother-daughter, cousins, not having a relationship.
- 23:27They help them. They still love each other because of the fact that they don't
- 23:32agree with some of the things that they do. And that's okay.
- 23:35And also we have Tina, who's from Savannah, Georgia, that says,
- 23:38this is exactly what I'm going through with my mother.
- 23:45We also have Robert from Detroit, Michigan saying, loving from a distance saved my peace.
- 23:51Now, I can get with that. I can get with that, Robert, because, you know, believe it or
- 23:56not, most of my siblings, you know, I moved to Georgia years ago because I had
- 24:00to distance myself so that I can have peace from a lot of things that was going on in my family.
- 24:07Yeah, yeah, yeah. And see, there's nothing wrong with that. You still love your
- 24:10family, Broker J3. Exactly. You just didn't agree with some of the choices that they made.
- 24:15Yeah yeah exactly and that's what it's all about and uh jasmine jasmine from wichita kansas says yes,
- 24:22and it's hard especially with sometimes the lord defining you and in order to
- 24:27allow you to walk in your purpose you don't have to close the door but you might have to crack it,
- 24:34oh i like that very well said miss jasmine yes it is very well said i like that
- 24:40jasmine i like that as well.
- 24:43Yes, I like that. You don't have to close it. This crack is a little bit. Crack the door.
- 24:50Hey, like Sonny said, gonna leave the door open.
- 24:56Yeah, crack the door. I like it. I like it. So guys, another big thank you to tonight's top gifters.
- 25:03Guys, Mark Wins, Smith Lenny, LL, Willie, and William Brewer. Welcome back.
- 25:12We appreciate you guys support and again thank you for joining us,
- 25:17All right, guys, if you are joining this conversation, hit that like button,
- 25:21share it alive and invite someone who needs encouragement tonight.
- 25:24We're going to go ahead and jump into it. When friendship become one sided.
- 25:29All right. Now, we just we just talked about that's a hot one.
- 25:32That's a hot topic. That's a hot. Yeah.
- 25:37Subtitle. It is because, you know, we just got into what happened about that
- 25:41family change. But now we're going to get into them friendships.
- 25:44OK, we talked about families. we just mentioned, but I think friendships can be just as painful.
- 25:51Sometimes we say loyal to friends because of history instead of reality.
- 25:56You know, we've known them for 20 or 30 years, but we keep telling ourselves,
- 26:01that's just how they are. And I hate to say it.
- 26:05I've been in the same situation when I had friends for many, many years.
- 26:09And just because of the fact I used those years as the reason to hold on to
- 26:14a friendship that I should have left alone years ago because I realized they
- 26:19weren't even really my friends.
- 26:21And you think they're your friends because guess what? They were your so-called
- 26:24friends for so long. Just think about it, Broker Day 3.
- 26:27Longevity, all them years that y'all so-called been friends,
- 26:31doesn't automatically equal healthy relationships, healthy friendships.
- 26:37Some friendships are just surviving, just merely offer what's called habit,
- 26:42not because they're healthy.
- 26:44You can have years investing in someone and then you realize you've outgrown the relationship.
- 26:51And then you realize sometimes, like you just said, Broker J3,
- 26:55they really weren't your friends anyway.
- 26:57Exactly. And you know what else I noticed, Doc B? Real friends,
- 27:02they celebrate your success.
- 27:04You know, fake friends tolerate your success until you surpass theirs.
- 27:09Then suddenly the complaints stop. You know, the support disappears and every
- 27:14conversation becomes about competition.
- 27:17Competition. And this. Yeah. Go ahead, Broker Jack 3. You know,
- 27:20and I was just going to reference, you know, we had that conversation on one
- 27:24of our previous podcasts, how strangers will support you quicker than the ones
- 27:30that claim that they're your friends.
- 27:32Yeah. And guess what? A lot of times those friends don't want you to,
- 27:36they'll be your friends as long as you honor them. You know,
- 27:39you don't have, you hadn't acquired much of them.
- 27:42But once you get above them and have more success, oh, then they don't like
- 27:47that. so you're no longer their friend. But they're not going to tell you that to your face.
- 27:51Oh, of course, Doc B. You know, on a personal note, I've experienced that.
- 27:55You know, I've been up before in my life for the people that truly know me.
- 28:00And, yes, I took a fall, and that's when I realized who my friends really were.
- 28:05Your friends love you when you're down. But then when you up,
- 28:09you'd be surprised the same ones that claim that they're your friends,
- 28:12they're no longer around.
- 28:14But, you know, it's so funny. They want you when you elevate it,
- 28:17see. Once you take that fall. That's the danger of your friend.
- 28:20Once you take that phone, then those fake friends come back around again. Hey, how you doing?
- 28:25You doing all right? You know, I heard you had your clothes,
- 28:28your restaurant, you know, stuff like, you know, it's funny how they come around
- 28:32then. But, hey, why are you worrying about the restaurant? You didn't even come
- 28:35support the restaurant when it was open.
- 28:37Yeah, yeah. And then, like I said, like you said, Broker Day 3,
- 28:41some of it becomes competition because they don't want you to outdo them.
- 28:45And that's because it's often, you know, you got jealousy that's hiding behind that friendship.
- 28:52A friend who truly loves you guys, I promise you, one that truly loves you,
- 28:57even family members, guys, loves you. They want to see you grow.
- 29:01They want to see you prosper.
- 29:03They want to see you succeed, even if your path look different from theirs.
- 29:08You know, I often tell people that when I see people coming up,
- 29:11I want to stay close to them because I want that blessing to rub off on me.
- 29:16I don't hate nobody who's succeeding. I want everybody to prosper because you know why?
- 29:21That is God's plan for all of us.
- 29:24But when someone constantly minimizes your accomplishment, some people be talking behind the scenes.
- 29:30She thinks she all that. He thinks he all of that.
- 29:33They're secretly hoping, guys, for you to fail.
- 29:37Now, I don't know what kind of friendship that is. That's not friendship to me, that's insecurity.
- 29:43Yeah, and then, you know, there's the friends who only call when they need something,
- 29:48you know. They never ask how you're doing.
- 29:51They never check on your family. But the minute they need money,
- 29:55a ride, advice, or a favor, suddenly they're your best friend again.
- 30:01Your best friends, best friends. And see, I'm the type of person,
- 30:04Broker J3, I like to do wellness check on people. If I hadn't heard from them
- 30:08in a while, I'll call and say, well, how you doing? I hadn't heard from you in a while.
- 30:12But I said to myself, I'm just going to stop doing that because they're probably
- 30:15not my friend anyway. Because guess what? You ain't calling the check and doing
- 30:19a wellness check on me, right?
- 30:22Okay, guys. So relationships should not be a one-sided or better yet,
- 30:28a one-way street. It should go both ways.
- 30:32Healthy relationships, healthy friendships involve giving and receiving.
- 30:37If you're the one person that's always pouring while the other one's still taking,
- 30:43you know, that's all some people want to do is take, take, take.
- 30:46Eventually, that relationship is going to become exhausting for you instead of encouraging.
- 30:52Okay, so let's jump into another scenario. Let's talk about,
- 30:56let me paint this picture, okay?
- 30:58You got Michael and David. They've been friends for over 20 years.
- 31:02You know, Michael started a business. You know, he worked hard.
- 31:05He stayed focused. He eventually became financially successful.
- 31:09Now, David never kept a steady job.
- 31:13Every few months, he called Michael asking to borrow money.
- 31:16Okay. Michael has helped him countless times.
- 31:20Michael paid his rent, bought him groceries, helped him repair his car,
- 31:25you know, even helped with utility bills.
- 31:28Even helped with utility bills. But every time David received help, nothing changes.
- 31:33No budget, no plan, no responsibility.
- 31:38And then one day, Michael finally says, I love you, brother,
- 31:41but I can't keep rescuing you.
- 31:44Now David tells everyone Michael thinks he's better than everybody.
- 31:48So tell me, guys, who's wrong?
- 31:52Yeah, yeah. And you know what the term he probably used, Broker J3?
- 31:56He's probably saying he sold them out. You know, they know to use that term.
- 32:00They no longer help you because they do nothing but enabling him.
- 32:03And we talked about that podcast, you know, that we've had. I think that was
- 32:08last week about enabling people.
- 32:10That's all he really was doing because he has no responsibility.
- 32:13He has no budget. He's still not trying to do better, and he's trying not to
- 32:18help himself. So this is a very tough one because people often...
- 32:23Mistake the boundaries that he just created for arrogance. He's not arrogant.
- 32:27He just sets some boundaries.
- 32:29Sometimes saying no isn't being selfish.
- 32:33It's refusing to enable unhealthy behavior.
- 32:37Exactly, Dobby. If helping someone keeps them depending on you,
- 32:41are you really helping them?
- 32:43Or are you preventing them from actually growing? Yeah, so I think you're actually
- 32:48hurting them. So real love sometimes require uncomfortable honesty.
- 32:54He has to come to go to and break it down to him and tell him the truth.
- 32:58The people who truly love us don't always tell us what we want to hear.
- 33:02And we have to realize that it's not all about that. They tell us what we need to hear.
- 33:09So, guys, we want to hear from you guys. Have you ever quietly stepped back
- 33:13from a friendship because it became emotionally draining?
- 33:17Put a yes in the chat or never in the chat or maybe still struggling in the chat.
- 33:22Yeah, yeah. We need to hear from you guys, okay? We want to hear from you because
- 33:27this is a very interesting topic.
- 33:30And we want to be prepared when we have to deal with those friends,
- 33:33okay? That's the most important thing. We want to be prepared.
- 33:36So in the comment section, we see Lisa from Charlotte, North Carolina has said,
- 33:41I had a friend for 18 long years.
- 33:44We don't speak anymore because I realized I was carrying the whole friendship.
- 33:49And that's how I was feeling. I was doing all of the calling,
- 33:52checking and making sure they were OK.
- 33:54I was scheduling all of the dates, you know, where you had your little friend dates and whatnot.
- 33:59That was it. Where's everybody else?
- 34:02Yeah. We also got Anthony from Houston, Texas. he says i stopped lending money
- 34:07amazing how quickly my phone stopped ringing i've been there anthony
- 34:11i know exactly what you're referring to once that money stops from helping your
- 34:16friends so does the friendship i've been there i've been there.
- 34:22See what i'm saying it doesn't make any sense when you got to carry the whole
- 34:25relationship and then we got monica who says the topic is speaking directly to my life tonight.
- 34:31So, Monica, we're glad we're having this conversation about how you can love
- 34:37someone, but you don't really like them. So, hopefully, this is resonating with just Monica tonight.
- 34:43Yeah, we also have Jasmine from Wichita, Kansas, says, multiple times.
- 34:50Completion is the death of friendship, and continually pouring into someone
- 34:55who doesn't pour into you can be draining.
- 34:58Oh, competition. She said competition is the death of a friend.
- 35:02And you're absolutely right.
- 35:04And you're right. Continually pouring into somebody that doesn't pour into you,
- 35:09that is emotionally draining.
- 35:12Yes, it is. And exhausting. Probably when you talk to them on the phone after
- 35:18that conversation, you probably feel exhausted and you just want to take a nap.
- 35:22That's probably what's happening. Okay, guys. So we want to thank all of you
- 35:26guys. So thank you again for our top giftsters. Your support means the world to us.
- 35:31So help us keep creating these conversations that inspire challenge and encourage
- 35:36people every single week. So thank you again.
- 35:40Yeah. And as that be said, Guys, we appreciate you guys that send the gifts
- 35:44no matter what platform you're on. Thank you so much.
- 35:46We appreciate it so much. And don't be ashamed to send a gift.
- 35:50And if you can't, please continue to tap that screen depending on what platform
- 35:54you're on. Send us some love. We'll appreciate it.
- 35:56If you're enjoying tonight's conversation, please, please, please remember to
- 36:00hit that like button, share the live with your family and friends,
- 36:04and let everybody know that J&B Live podcast is having a real conversation tonight.
- 36:09So, not me, let's get into this. Now, we're going to get a little spiritual
- 36:14with you guys tonight. Does God expect us to like everybody? Let's jump into that.
- 36:20Okay, well, this is going to be a touchy subject for a lot of you,
- 36:23especially some of you are Bible readers, because, you know,
- 36:27as I said earlier, when we started this particular topic, a lot of you believe
- 36:31that you're supposed to love everybody and it's rooted in your faith, okay?
- 36:35So, this is where a lot of Christians struggle. They struggle on this topic
- 36:39because we hear that the Bible says to love one another.
- 36:43And somehow we interpret that as meaning we must trust everybody.
- 36:49Agree with everybody, and allow everybody unlimited access to our lives.
- 36:55But this is where we miss a step. We miss a beat.
- 36:59Yeah, but you know, that's not what the scripture actually teaches us.
- 37:02You know, love doesn't eliminate wisdom.
- 37:06You know, Jesus loved people deeply, but he also recognized people's motives.
- 37:11You know, he didn't ignore betrayal simply because he loved Judas.
- 37:16That is true. God knew that Judas was going to betray him, but it stopped him from loving Judas.
- 37:26Okay. All right. So, guys, this is such an important point. Jesus washed Judas' feet.
- 37:33For those of you Bible readers out there, he loved him, but he also knew.
- 37:38He knew Judas would betray him.
- 37:41Love didn't blind Jesus to reality. And that's what happens to some of us.
- 37:47Just think about it. Guys, we love people, our family and friends.
- 37:52You know, you may not like them, but you know what's happening.
- 37:55You know how they change. We talked about that earlier.
- 37:58You know that they could be our demise. We know that.
- 38:03Yeah, and Jasmine says, not to like them, but to love them. Yes,
- 38:10not to accept anything, but to give without expecting reciprocation.
- 38:15Yeah, that is so, so important. Yes, it is. You know, and sometimes,
- 38:22you know, people guilt us by saying, you know, if you've forgiven them,
- 38:27then why won't you let them back into your life?
- 38:30Forgiveness and reconciliation, they are two different things.
- 38:36You know, we hear it all the time. I forgive you, but I ain't going to forget.
- 38:40Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of people say that. I know I've said it before myself.
- 38:45Okay, guys, so you have to think about this. Forgiveness releases the bitterness
- 38:51because you don't want that bitterness in your heart because if you do that,
- 38:54then guess what? You're suffering just as well.
- 38:57So reconciliation requires repentance, you know, rebuilding trust and a changed behavior.
- 39:05So, you know, when you are forgiving the people who, you know,
- 39:09you see have changed and who you don't really like, are they saying they're
- 39:14sorry? Most of the time they won't. They won't be repenting anything.
- 39:18Okay. So those two things, guys, are not the same thing.
- 39:24No, they're not. You know, and I can forgive someone, Dobby,
- 39:28you know, someone completely. I can forgive them completely and still decide
- 39:32that they won't have access to my finances.
- 39:35They won't have access to my home or my peace ever again. Mm-hmm.
- 39:42That's wisdom. That's wisdom. And you learn that over time. You get tired, people.
- 39:47I often say this. People get tired of that mess.
- 39:50That's not hatred. People just, they're wise. They become wiser over time to the game.
- 39:57All right, let's jump into the next scenario, Dot B, while we're talking about
- 40:01the situation, how God feels about it.
- 40:05Okay, so guys, we're going to look at Angela this evening. This is going to
- 40:09be our next scenario. We need you guys to comment because they affect the algorithm.
- 40:15We want your input. We want to engage you. So Angela was betrayed by her long-life best friend.
- 40:23Her friend spread information that destroyed Angela's reputation at work.
- 40:29Years later, her friend came back to her and she apologized.
- 40:34I don't know how that works, right?
- 40:35She apologized, said she was sorry. She didn't know what she was thinking.
- 40:40It will never happen again and guess what Angela decided to forgive her,
- 40:45she no longer feels that anger toward her friend she prayed for her friend she
- 40:51wishes her friend well but she will never rebuild that relationship and I can
- 40:57understand that fool be once,
- 41:01shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you, okay? So guess what?
- 41:06She's not willing to rebuild that relationship, and I really don't blame her.
- 41:09Some people criticize Angela, though, and say, if you really forgave her,
- 41:15you'd be her friend again. What do you think, guys?
- 41:17Do you think she should be her friend again? Listen, I disagree, Dobby. No.
- 41:24She don't have to be friends again. Forgiveness doesn't erase consequences, okay?
- 41:29Trust isn't rebuilt with words. It's rebuilt through consistent behavior over time.
- 41:35Over time. Over that long period of time, her friend didn't apologize.
- 41:39She waited till time had passed by before she came and apologized.
- 41:43And then, what was her motive for coming back to apologize in the first place?
- 41:48Yeah yeah yeah and i'm like this broker j3 i see where angela's coming from
- 41:54now maybe five ten years later after she's noticed that her friend may have truly changed
- 42:01i can see maybe forgiving her but where she is right now in her life i cannot
- 42:06see that i'm i'm i agree with her 100 i wouldn't do that so you have to think about it guys
- 42:11sometimes loving someone means wishing them well. I wish you well over there.
- 42:17Okay? Over there while keeping a healthy distance from them.
- 42:21And there's nothing wrong with that.
- 42:22You know, you have to protect your peace. We talked about that earlier.
- 42:26All right, guys, I need I need you guys to answer this in the chat.
- 42:30I need you guys to answer this in the chat. So get ready for this.
- 42:33Do you believe forgiveness automatically requires rebuilding the relationship?
- 42:38Either type yes, no, or it depends or give us your own personal experience.
- 42:43We like to hear it in the chat.
- 42:45OK, guys. All right. So we got some comments coming in.
- 42:50So, guys, keep those comments coming. We appreciate you guys.
- 42:54Remember, these comments do affect the algorithm, so keep them coming.
- 42:58All right, Jazzy, one, two, three, four.
- 43:01So we've got a comment from Karen, who's in Memphis, that says she forgave her ex-husband years ago.
- 43:08But that doesn't mean I married his behind again. I ain't mad at you.
- 43:14I know that's right. And we got David from Phoenix, Arizona,
- 43:18says, trust is earned, not demanded.
- 43:21It. Yeah, and that's what I meant about time. Sometimes you don't have to forgive
- 43:26that person right away, but if they are so sincere, they're willing to earn your trust back.
- 43:33Maybe over time you can forgive them.
- 43:36So we got Michelle from, well, not necessarily to forgive them,
- 43:39but welcome them back into your life.
- 43:41We got Michelle from Atlanta that says, this conversation is free in so many people.
- 43:46And that's what we do, Michelle. We are here to provide the real life conversation
- 43:52so that we can empower people so they know what's going on.
- 43:56And then sometime when you know you're not out there experiencing what we're
- 44:00discussing by yourself, there's a lot of people experiencing what we're talking
- 44:04about, where we love someone, but we really do not like them.
- 44:09All right, let's give those big shout-outs to Abby. Okay, yeah,
- 44:12we got a shout-out to Jazzy1234.
- 44:16We've got several numbers, but those of you who are contributing,
- 44:20thank you again for joining us and for being a part of the BrokerJ3 family.
- 44:26We've got a lot of comments coming in.
- 44:27We've got a lot of people with numbers, so I don't want to read all of those
- 44:30numbers as their IDs, okay?
- 44:33All right, BrokerJ, what you got? All right, we got people checking in from Georgia.
- 44:39We got Ernest Howard checking in on YouTube. We got people checking in from.
- 44:46Florida, Alabama, South Carolina.
- 44:48We also have someone checking in from Illinois. So keep letting us know where
- 44:53you guys are watching from. We really, really appreciate that so much.
- 44:58All right. Okay, guys. So, yeah. So I don't, I mean, I love you.
- 45:03That's the topic, but I don't like you. Okay.
- 45:06So we're going to get into what if you're the person people love?
- 45:11What if you are the person that people love, but they don't like you?
- 45:15How does that feel? Yeah, that's it right there.
- 45:19You know, it's a lot of people I believe love me, Doc B, but they don't like
- 45:24me at all. And, you know, you know what?
- 45:26I don't care. You know what I'm saying? Doc B, we've spent this entire episode
- 45:30talking about people in our lives.
- 45:32But let's flip the script for a minute. What if we are the difficult person?
- 45:39Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now, Broken Dray 3, now I'm going to say this,
- 45:42and I'm going to put this out there to you, to our audience,
- 45:45because I know I can probably,
- 45:47and it could be that you're the person that's not liked by one or two or maybe
- 45:52how many ever individuals, not by a lot of people.
- 45:55And I think I might be one of the people that some people may not like,
- 46:01and they probably don't like my honesty because I don't sugarcoat a lot of stuff.
- 46:06If anybody knows me and anybody that's really worked with me for several years,
- 46:11they know I just don't have a tolerance for foolishness.
- 46:16I'm going to keep it real. I'm going to say what's on my mind.
- 46:19That's just who I am. And some people don't like that.
- 46:24And I'm sorry, but that's just, I'm not going to change who I am just because
- 46:30I'm tiptoeing around your feelings.
- 46:33If I say something that offends you, most of the time it is the truth.
- 46:37That may be the truth based on me, but I got receipts to prove that it's the truth.
- 46:43So
- 46:46what do you think about that, BrokerJay3? I hear what you're saying,
- 46:51Doc B. You know, you know.
- 46:55Okay, so, okay, guys, I can elaborate a little bit more, okay?
- 46:59This is probably the hardest question that we've asked all night.
- 47:02I'm sure it is because we talk, like BrokerJay3 said, we talked about other people.
- 47:08We weren't talking about you personally may not be the person that people don't like.
- 47:13It's easy to identify someone else's flaws, and it is hard for some of us to identify our own flaws.
- 47:19And it's much harder for us to look in the mirror and ask ourselves whether
- 47:23our own attitudes, habits, or behavior has pushed people away.
- 47:27Now, I don't think I've necessarily pushed people away, but I have just kept it real.
- 47:33Yeah, you know, that's right, Dot B. Sometimes we assume people stop calling
- 47:37us because they're busy. You know, maybe they are.
- 47:40But sometimes they stop calling because every conversation became negative.
- 47:44You know, every discussion turned into an argument. Every visit left them emotionally exhausted.
- 47:50Yeah, and that does happen. So guys, we do, all of us, Isaac Priest,
- 47:56Success, Redbone85, all of us need to do some self-reflecting.
- 48:01That is one of the greatest gifts that we can give ourselves.
- 48:05And there's nothing wrong with it. Like I said, sometimes I have to tone things
- 48:09down because I can't say some things to some people. You know that's right,
- 48:14Broker Day 3. Some people are very sensitive.
- 48:17If multiple people though if multiple people keep telling us the same thing
- 48:22if you got several people that's saying that they don't like you or they don't
- 48:25want to be around you maybe it is worth listening to we all have blind spots
- 48:30guys we all do none of us are perfect,
- 48:33a lot of us are still growing and growth begins when we are willing to admit.
- 48:39That we have this little short of you know where someone may not like you.
- 48:46Yeah, but, you know, think about this. You know, are you the person who always have to be right?
- 48:52You know, we know a lot of us out there always feel like we got to be the right
- 48:55one. You know, or are you constantly criticizing everybody?
- 48:59You know, sometimes, again, we talk about what other people do,
- 49:02but do we actually really look and do we always find fault in people?
- 49:07You know, do we even find the fault in ourselves?
- 49:09You know, do you dominate the conversation? You know, they're trying to talk
- 49:14and you're talking over to them because you're trying to get your point across.
- 49:17You know, do people feel heard when they're even around you,
- 49:21you know, or do they feel like you're judging them?
- 49:24You know, and some of us may do it and probably don't recognize it.
- 49:28That's just like one of the podcasts we had about a week ago.
- 49:33You know, you're talking, but you're not communicating.
- 49:37Yeah, yeah, that was true. That was that we did have that conversation.
- 49:41Okay, guys, so here's another one.
- 49:45Do people feel safe enough to be honest with you?
- 49:50If everyone around you walks on eggshells because they're afraid of how you
- 49:55react, that's something worth praying about and for working on.
- 50:00Absolutely. I agree 110% with that statement. Yes, always.
- 50:06Sometimes you got to do that self-reflection.
- 50:08Yeah. You know, some people think respect is demanding everyone to agree with them. It's not.
- 50:15Respect is allowing people to have different opinions without making them feel small.
- 50:21You know, me and Doc B got a thing, you know, agree to disagree.
- 50:25We don't agree on everything, and we probably never will. But we can agree to disagree.
- 50:32Yeah, and that's where a lot of
- 50:33people get it twisted. They think they're supposed to agree on everything.
- 50:38That's not. I don't know any friendships or relationships that agree on every
- 50:44single thing. Just think about it, guys.
- 50:49People, relationships, they thrive on humility. Sometimes the most healing words,
- 50:55in the world are, I was wrong.
- 50:58Go to a person and say, I was wrong. I'm sorry.
- 51:02And help me understand how I hurt you.
- 51:05Yeah, and we have Alexander Bryant said yes He totally agrees,
- 51:11Yeah, yeah, yeah You know, totally agrees You know, you know what I admire,
- 51:17Dot B People who are still teachable You know, no matter what their age They never stop learning,
- 51:25They never stop growing They don't let pride become a prison,
- 51:31And let's think about it, guys. You want the growth that you're going to have.
- 51:35Just like if someone comes to you and says that they don't understand you or.
- 51:42They don't understand what's making you angry or if you go and say,
- 51:48help me understand how I've hurt you. That's humility.
- 51:52So this requires any type of growth that we're going to make in life.
- 51:56It does require honest. We have to be honest with ourselves.
- 52:00Else. That's very important.
- 52:01If we expect other people to change, even the people, if you're on the other
- 52:05side of the spectrum, like we talked about earlier, we still have to be willing
- 52:10to change ourselves. You know, if we're the person at fault, we have to change.
- 52:15If the other person you feel is that you don't like them, we really should be
- 52:20reaching out to that person and telling them why we don't like them while still
- 52:26not guess what brokerages three
- 52:28while still protecting your peace,
- 52:30exactly now let's let's get into this last scenario doc b you know let me leave
- 52:37everybody with this last scenario you know james has three children you know
- 52:41for years he wondered why none of them don't children.
- 52:46Adult children, adult children. So for years, he wondered why none of them visit
- 52:51him often, you know, and he blames their spouses.
- 52:55You know, he blames their jobs. You know, he blames how busy they are.
- 52:59Then one Christmas, his oldest daughter quietly said, Dad, we love you. We always will.
- 53:08But every time we're together, you criticize our parenting, our careers,
- 53:14our marriages, and our decisions.
- 53:17We leave feeling like we'll never be good enough.
- 53:21James was devastated, not because they stopped loving him, but because he realized
- 53:28they had stopped enjoying being around him.
- 53:32Instead of getting angry, he apologized. He began listening instead of lecturing.
- 53:39And over the next two years, their family slowly began to heal.
- 53:44And guys, that is a beautiful story because sometimes we could be overbearing and criticized.
- 53:54We could be criticizing them because we want them to do better in life,
- 53:58not knowing that what we're doing is affecting the relationship and causing
- 54:02them not to want to be around us.
- 54:05And like I said, I have three adult sons and I know when I get a chance to spend
- 54:09time with them, I'm constantly telling them about what they need to do as far
- 54:13as parenting, how they need to do as far as their job.
- 54:16And so I had to realize that I have to take a back seat to some of that because
- 54:21sometimes you can be overbearing as a parent.
- 54:24So that story, Broker Day 3, was a beautiful example because it reminds us that
- 54:29relationships don't have to stay broken, that you can repair those relationships.
- 54:34People can change. Families can heal.
- 54:37Friendships can also be restored, guys. Yes, they can.
- 54:40But only when everyone involved is willing to accept responsibility for their part.
- 54:47Yeah, you know, love may open that door.
- 54:51And like Ms. Jasmine said, might leave it cracked open. I know, right?
- 54:57But humility is going to keep that relationship alive.
- 55:01It keeps the relationship alive. So, guys, all right, JB family,
- 55:07this is the question we want everybody to answer tonight.
- 55:10Have you ever realized you needed to change in order to save a relationship? Let me ask that again.
- 55:18I want to hear from everybody. Everybody that's watching.
- 55:21Have you ever realized you needed to change in order to save a relationship?
- 55:28Put yes in the chat, or I'm working on it, or not yet, or give us your own personal
- 55:35comment. We'd like to hear from you guys.
- 55:36Yes, guys, and I want your comments, guys, because we're keeping it real with
- 55:40you guys tonight. I know I've had to change.
- 55:43I've had to get out of my children's business. Mothers, fathers,
- 55:47sometimes we have to do that. We have to pull back.
- 55:50And you know sometimes broker j3 it's them learning it's a part of learning
- 55:54where they may not be where we think they should be in life but it's their learning stage
- 56:01it's their learning to become better parents better people and sometimes we
- 56:05have to take that back seat so i can attest to that i am guilty of that
- 56:11and i can understand that i agree okay so next we have Jennifer,
- 56:15who's from Jacksonville.
- 56:17So shout out to Jacksonville, Florida.
- 56:19Same thing. I had to stop trying to control my adult children.
- 56:24Sometimes you have to pull back out of their lives.
- 56:27Yeah, I'm guilty. I'm guilty as well, Doc B. Yeah.
- 56:30We have Demetri McCollum says people have to want to change.
- 56:34You're absolutely right about that, Demetri.
- 56:37They have to want to change in order for that to happen. We also have Thomas
- 56:42from Columbia, South Carolina says, this episode convicted me tonight.
- 56:47Oh, wow. I've got some apologizing to do.
- 56:49All right, Thomas, if this conversation touched you tonight and you got some
- 56:53people you need to apologize to, don't hold back. Make sure you get on that,
- 56:58phone and make sure you make some phone calls.
- 57:00Yeah. And see, sometimes this is why this is such engaging. It's like,
- 57:05you know, we bring you this episode, this particular topic in all of our episodes.
- 57:11We're hoping it's a learning process. And see, some of you may not have realized
- 57:15that until tonight's episode, what you were actually doing.
- 57:20And, you know, you know, when we decided on this topic, I said,
- 57:23this is something that hit home and actually resonates with me because I was
- 57:29overpowering my children.
- 57:30I was putting too much on them and I had to wait for them to learn some of the
- 57:35things that I'm trying to tell them.
- 57:36I'm trying to tell them what they need to learn on their own.
- 57:40OK, the last shout out is for we had a comment from Rhonda. So thank you from
- 57:44Rhonda from Macon that says sometime God lets us hear the truth so he can heal
- 57:50us. Yes. That is so true. Yeah.
- 57:53Yes. And big shout outs to Demetri, Jasmine, and Dawn. We got Redbone85, Brian.
- 58:02And we got Alexander, Brian. Thank you for your comments. We appreciate all of you guys.
- 58:07Thank you for those comments. Keep those comments coming because they do affect
- 58:12the algorithm. So, guys, we're talking about this evening, I love you, but I don't like you.
- 58:19That's right, guys. Powerful conversation. And for every single viewer who shared
- 58:24the live and commented and followed us, or just simply listened, we appreciate you.
- 58:30This community continues to grow because of you guys, and we truly appreciate
- 58:36you guys joining the J&B family this evening.
- 58:39Big shout outs again to some of our top viewers in Georgia, Florida,
- 58:43Texas, California, New York, North Carolina, South Carolina,
- 58:48Alabama, Tennessee, and Illinois.
- 58:52Welcome to the J&B family.
- 58:55Okay, we've got a bunch of people that are online today, and we thank you guys.
- 59:00You guys have been off the charts.
- 59:02Demetri McCullen, off the charts tonight.
- 59:06We appreciate you. Like I say, this was a topic that really hit home for us,
- 59:11and we hope this topic actually resonated for you guys as well.
- 59:15So this conversation reminds us that love.
- 59:20Far deeper than emotions. Love isn't always comfortable.
- 59:24Love isn't always easy. Some people, guys, are just hard to love.
- 59:30I say this all the time. Some people, it's hard to love. Everybody, it's not that easy.
- 59:35And you would think when you love somebody, it should be easy,
- 59:38but it's not always the case.
- 59:39Sometimes love means praying for someone from a distance.
- 59:44You keep that person at a distance. You still love them, but you just keep them at a distance.
- 59:50Sometime love means setting those healthy boundaries.
- 59:53We want healthy boundaries so that resentment does not replace the compassion that we feel for them.
- 1:00:00And sometime love means taking an honest look at ourselves, which I had to take
- 1:00:05a step back and look at what I was doing as well.
- 1:00:08How can I become a better spouse? I want to look at how I can become a better parent, sibling.
- 1:00:16For those of you, you want to look at how you can become a better son or daughter or a friend.
- 1:00:22God calls us to love one another. This is rooted in our faith,
- 1:00:26but he also calls us to walk in wisdom. We have to be smart about some of the
- 1:00:31people that we need to love from a distance.
- 1:00:33Never confuse your guilt with love or.
- 1:00:39Do you want to set your boundaries, have those boundaries with hatred?
- 1:00:44You want to keep those boundaries. And that's not hatred. You're just setting
- 1:00:47those boundaries to protect yourself.
- 1:00:50You can protect your peace while still protecting your heart from bitterness.
- 1:00:55My prayer is that everyone on tonight's conversation encourages someone else,
- 1:01:02to heal, forgive, and grow without losing themselves in the process.
- 1:01:09That's powerful, Dot B. It's very powerful. You know, I want to leave everybody with this.
- 1:01:15You know, every relationship has seasons.
- 1:01:20You know, some people grow with us. And unfortunately, some people grow away from us.
- 1:01:27Now, that doesn't always mean somebody is evil or somebody is right and somebody
- 1:01:33is wrong. You know, sometimes people simply become different versions of themselves.
- 1:01:41The challenge is learning how to love
- 1:01:44people without allowing unhealthy relationships to control your lives.
- 1:01:51Give grace when you can, forgive when you should, set boundaries when necessary,
- 1:01:58and never stop working on yourself because the healthiest relationship begins
- 1:02:05with healthy individuals.
- 1:02:07If tonight made you think differently about someone else or even yourself,
- 1:02:14then we've accomplished exactly what we set out to do tonight.
- 1:02:19Okay. That's powerful, BrokerJay3. So, guys, thank you, Loving Myself, Eric, David, totally.
- 1:02:28Thank you guys for joining us. So this is what we're going to do going forward.
- 1:02:32We've got a call to action, what we want you guys to do. So,
- 1:02:36BrokerJay3, I'll let you do your call to action first.
- 1:02:39All right, guys. If this conversation touched your heart tonight,
- 1:02:42take a moment to share this episode with someone who may need to hear it because
- 1:02:48we've heard from so many people tonight in the comments.
- 1:02:51So we know that this topic has really touched a lot of you guys.
- 1:02:55So imagine sharing this podcast tonight with someone that you may feel needs to hear it.
- 1:03:04Okay, guys. And so think about it, guys. If you're listening to the audio,
- 1:03:09if you're watching the replay, I want you to answer tonight's question in the comments.
- 1:03:14Can you love someone, but not like who they become?
- 1:03:21We genuinely love to hear your perspective. We want to know what you guys are thinking.
- 1:03:29Yeah, and we'd like to thank everybody that has spent the evening with us here
- 1:03:33on the J&B Live podcast. Yes, thank you.
- 1:03:36Yes, you guys have been awesome, have been off the charts tonight.
- 1:03:40So don't forget, guys, I need you. Hey, loving myself.
- 1:03:45Don't forget to like, follow, subscribe, and turn on your notifications so you
- 1:03:50will not miss another episode of our conversations.
- 1:03:54That's right, guys. And remember to join us every Tuesday and Thursday for another
- 1:03:58episode of J&B Live Podcast.
- 1:04:01And for all of our podcast listeners out there that enjoy listening to their
- 1:04:06podcast on audio, remember J&B Live Podcast is on Apple Podcasts,
- 1:04:13iHeartRadio, Pandora, Spotify.
- 1:04:16I mean, wherever you get your podcast listening enjoyment, I promise you J&B
- 1:04:21Live Podcast will be there. So just search JBLive Podcast and make sure you
- 1:04:26guys follow and subscribe.
- 1:04:29Okay, guys. So we appreciate you. And until next time, guys.
- 1:04:36I am your favorite uncle, you know, your boy, you know, that guy, Broker J3.
- 1:04:43And guys, thank you again. I am your girl, your favorite auntie.
- 1:04:47You know, everybody has that little auntie out there.
- 1:04:50I am Dr. B. So thank you again. much love to you guys and peace and as always,
- 1:04:57let's talk about it thank you guys next time thank you so much we love you guys.