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Transcript

Becoming the Gift You Already Are · Infinitely Precious

• 0:00
  Intro: Welcome to the infinitely precious podcast produced by infinitely precious LLC. Your host is James Henry. Remember, you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are.
• 0:12
  James: Hello, beloved, it's me, James, and it's the eve of the new year. Now you and I both know that the way we've configured the year is purely a choice. There's nothing set in the universe about when the year begins and when the year ends. We just know it takes about three sixty five days to go around the sun. And we had to pick a day for the beginning of the year and a day for the end.
• 0:42
  And for a variety of reasons, we did it just the way we did it. And so, it's not really a new beginning, but since life is cyclical, it invites us to come to terms with this new space that we're getting ready to enter, a new number at the end of the year. And as we do that, oftentimes we begin to do things like evaluate the previous year, make resolutions for the new year. We've resolved. We're going to do this and do that.
• 1:18
  We're going to change this behavior, all those kinds of things. And I have nothing against those kinds of practices. I don't find that they have a lot of meaning for me anymore. That doesn't mean they can't be meaningful for you. What I do try to do, at least the place I've come to in my life, I try to discern as much as possible how I might live more fully into the deepest image of who I am in the coming year.
• 1:54
  How can I live with meaning? Now, when we talk about the meaning of life or the meaning of my life, the meaning of your life, oftentimes we come up with all these generalities that the meaning of life is can be categorized in things like purpose, making a difference in the world, those kinds of things. And I'm all for doing those kinds of things. But when it comes to living out meaning in my life, I recognize that the way I'm going to live it is not generic. And so part of my hope in every passing year as I enter into a new year is how can I be truest to the self I was made to be?
• 2:49
  Recognizing that I'm a part of all that is, just like all of you are. And at the same time, I'm a piece of that, a unique piece of that all that is. And my life is meant to mirror in some way the unique piece that I am out into the world so that others might catch a glimpse of what the whole looks like, not solely through me, but through all of us as part of that wide open tapestry we sometimes talk about. So, as you come into this new year, as I come into this new year, the questions that arise might not be so much about resolutions about behaviors, but questions more about who am I? How will I be that person more fully in the coming year?
• 3:55
  You know here on the Infinitely Precious podcast that I say to you regularly, It's part of the intro. Generally, I end with the words you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are. Well, you're a unique gift. There isn't another gift like you. And there isn't another gift like me.
• 4:18
  So why would I try to live in some kind of generic way that fits a broad pattern of giftedness rather than try to be the best reflection I can be of who I was made to be. Certainly, I'll find life more fulfilling, more engaging. It won't be that life won't be challenging because it's always challenging to be who we are. Because when we are truly being who we are and not who other people have suggested that we need to be, that we've internalized from outside sources. When we try to be who we are, it feels a tad bit countercultural, maybe a whole lot countercultural.
• 5:06
  It feels like we are going against the flow because to be who we are is to not just fit the everyday pattern, to not just grab onto all the values everybody else has. And instead say, what is it that I value most about this life, this wild and wonderful life that has been entrusted to my care? These breaths I'm taking, this heartbeat that I have, these thoughts that arise in me, no matter how I might judge those thoughts, all of that package, I get to reflect into the world, why would I try to be someone else? Why not be that person? Because that person is the person whom I'm meant to be.
• 6:03
  Now, I also recognize in saying this how risky it is. I've spent a lifetime learning to dance into the shadows, hide in the shadows sometimes, hide my gifts, hide who I am. So, it was less risky to be out there in the world. Because when you take the risk of being yourself and someone rejects that, they're rejecting you. And if you internalize that feeling that comes with it, it's not a good feeling.
• 6:39
  It's not a good feeling to feel that who you are is rejected by others. It takes a lot of courage to take the risk to be who you are. So, perhaps living into the meaning of my life, perhaps living as myself, the gift I am meant to be, not the gift anyone else is meant to be, but the gift I'm meant to be means taking some risks. It means developing a kind of courage. And in some ways, being both tough and tender in a world, tough enough to take other people's criticism of my seeing the world differently than they do, of behaving in a way that does not necessarily coincide with the way they believe I should behave.
• 7:38
  And developing this kind of inner strength, this kind of inner authenticity is a long and worthwhile journey. But oftentimes it requires a lot of work. In fact, not just a lot of times, all the time it requires a lot of work. It requires that we be willing to sit with ourselves, the parts of ourselves that we find to be beautiful and amazing. And then those parts of ourselves that for one reason or another have come to bring us shame or guilt or a sense of being less than.
• 8:20
  To sit with all of those pieces and recognize that they all have a place at the table within, that they're all a part of who we are. We're not our thoughts. We're not our feelings. But all the kind of pieces of a lifetime, the things that we've chosen to show to other people and the things that we've chosen to either protect or hide for fear of rejection are part of that whole gift package that you are. How do you deal with that shadow part of yourself?
• 8:57
  The part of yourself that maybe you're not quite as proud of as the other parts. Maybe you have a beautiful voice and you love to sing and everyone thinks that's great and they love to hear that part of you. But there are other parts of you, you know, where you have a bizarre sense of humor or you are kind of geeky. All those kinds of things. Any one of the things that people might label in a negative way become the things that you guard and don't let out.
• 9:31
  I'm not suggesting that the world deserves to see all or know all of the pieces of yourself, But at the very least, you ought to be honest about the pieces of yourself with yourself. Oftentimes, we present to the world a picture of what we think everyone wants to see as opposed to who we really are. And part of that is we don't know who we really are. So as I come to the end of the year, I try to look for the places as I reflect back on the days that have led up to now, on the places I've most been myself. When were those moments when, despite my best efforts, the real person I am shone through.
• 10:24
  Where were those places? Can I name those places? It's most helpful often if you take stock of that day by day by day. But at the end of the year, construct that it is, if I look back, I can ask the questions when did I feel most myself, most free to be who I am? Where were those spots and those places?
• 10:47
  Also asking the question where did I feel pressured to be someone other than I am? Just knowing those things begins to answer the question for us, who are we and where are we safe to test really being there versus the places where we've got to play the cards close to our best, where we have to hide a bit of who we are and we can only present the acceptable self to others. It's a long journey to come to a place, long journey to come to a place where we know enough about ourselves, we've come to love all of ourselves enough that the whole package comes into every moment of interaction. I haven't reached that place yet. Parts of myself that I still struggle with.
• 11:42
  So what I hope for in the new year as I come to a new year is I don't resolve to do some new behavior. I don't simply set intentions without that will merely be dreams that I will be setting again the next year. I really practice a kind of self reflection that asks myself how can I best be myself today? What are the things I need to let go about the assumptions about who I am? What are the things I need to let go of trying to control the narrative about me because I can never do that?
• 12:23
  And how can I develop the courage? For me, it's practice. It's practice in meditation. It's practice in journaling, being honest, as brutally honest with myself, a fearless inventory of who I am, and learning to invite the pieces of myself that I've often hidden, that I keep below the surface, inviting them to the table, inviting and honoring them in ways those pieces of myself in ways that lets my whole being, all the things that bother me about myself, all the things that I find joy in about myself, all the mistakes as well as all the successes, all those pieces I bring to the table. So I wish you on the eve of this new year an opportunity to reflect on what has given you meaning, on where you saw yourself most alive, you saw yourself coming out freely in places, What places were safe enough for you to be you?
• 13:37
  Where were the places where you were constantly putting on sort of a disguise? And how can you cultivate more the places where you feel safe to be you such that you develop a courage to be that person not only in the safe spaces, but there's enough strength within you to be you perhaps in more places in the wider world. Those are my reflections for the end of the year. No matter where you find yourself on this journey, whether you take up this challenge perhaps that I've given you or a way of thinking, I just want you to know you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are. You don't have to be something else.
• 14:26
  Who you are at the core of you matters. You are a gift. I'm so glad you've joined me. I hope that these sessions we get together are as meaningful to you as they are creating for me, letting my voice be out there reminding you of just how vital and important you are. So until the next time, I encourage you to share this.
• 14:49
  If it's helpful to you, I encourage you to appreciate yourself, be honest with yourself, be self aware enough to recognize the things you love about you and the things you struggle with about you. Maybe find ways to love the parts of you you struggle with the most. Until the next time I see you, wish you all the best.