Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 269. Diego Perez (Yung Pueblo), Poet & Best-Selling Author

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269. Diego Perez (Yung Pueblo), Poet & Best-Selling Author · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: How do you combat the doubt? You combat the doubt
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: by looking at what are the actual results? And if
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: you're trying to measure yourself from today to yesterday, of
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  Speaker 1: course the picture is not going to be that pretty.
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  Speaker 1: But if you measure yourself from when you began to
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  Speaker 1: where you are now, which could be weeks or months,
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  Speaker 1: then you get a better picture of how far you
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: have come.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: What's going on?
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  Speaker 3: Everyone, Emily Abadi here, you are listening to season fifteen
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  Speaker 3: the premiere a Virtle, a wellness focus podcast where I
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  Speaker 3: connect with everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: and industry CEOs about their highest hies, toughest moments, and
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: everything in between. We all go through hurdles in life,
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  Speaker 3: and my goal through these discussions is to empower you
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  Speaker 3: to better navigate yours and move with intention so that
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: you can stride towards your own big potential and of
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: course have some fun along the way. Wow, six hundred
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: and seventy eight episodes in the catalog. Hurdle is now
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: listened to in over two hundred and fifteen countries, and
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: we are back over season fifteen. Wow, it's just yeah,
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  Speaker 3: it's crazy. A little bit of backstory here for those
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: of you that may be newer to the feed. Hurdles
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: started at the very top of twenty eighteen. I was
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: going through some turbulent moments in my personal and professional life.
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  Speaker 3: Recently let go from Conde Nast after Self magazine folded,
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  Speaker 3: where I was the fitness editor. There, I was freelance
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  Speaker 3: writing and asking myself, what is it that I want
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  Speaker 3: to do with my voice, what is it that I
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: want to put into the world, And sitting on a
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  Speaker 3: couch with a good friend, I said this statement. I said,
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: I just want to get over this hurdle. And it
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: was in that moment and it all started to spiral.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: It all started to concept. I wanted to combine my
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: years of editorial experience over a decade working in the
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  Speaker 3: health and wellness space, with my passion in pursuit for
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: the area of wellness, having my own personal story of transformation.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: That really taught me that the best thing that you
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  Speaker 3: can invest in is yourself. For more on my story,
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  Speaker 3: you can check out episode one of the show.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: I'm going to link that in.
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  Speaker 3: The show notes and now today, I could not be
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  Speaker 3: more elated to bring you episode two hundred and sixty
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  Speaker 3: nine of hurdle with the one the only. Diego Perez,
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  Speaker 3: better known to many of you as Young Pueblo. You're
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  Speaker 3: likely familiar with his writing. It's all over social media.
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  Speaker 3: He has a new book out right now, all link
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: that in the show notes as well, and it's called
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  Speaker 3: The Way Forward. His writing has been gosh so influential
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: for me over the years, and I was elated that
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  Speaker 3: is the biggest understatement to have the opportunity to sit
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: down with him for are a really special conversation.
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  Speaker 2: We talk about his beginnings.
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  Speaker 3: He talks to me about the rock bottom hurdle moment
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  Speaker 3: he experienced in college that inspired him to walk away
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  Speaker 3: from drugs for good and examine the anxieties and fears
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: that he had been running away from for so long.
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  Speaker 3: Diego also opens up about how he got into meditation
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  Speaker 3: through doing this self work and how he integrates it
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  Speaker 3: into his every day currently meditating every single day for
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  Speaker 3: two hours. He gives us the tips and tricks on
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: how he never skips that practice and why he never will.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: If you're a fan of Diego's writing, then you know
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: that he often touches on topics like boundaries and self
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  Speaker 3: worth and relationships, and we have a lot of great
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: dialogue on so many of.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Those themes in today's episode.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on socialists
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: at Hurdle Podcast. I myself am over at Emily a Body,
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: and we've got a weekly new It's called the Weekly Hurdle.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: It comes out every Friday. The link to subscribe to
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: that it's absolutely free, is also in the show notes.
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  Speaker 2: Let's do this, Let's get to hurdling today.
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  Speaker 3: I am sitting down with Diego Perez. He is a
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  Speaker 3: best selling author known to many as Young Giblow.
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  Speaker 2: How you doing today?
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  Speaker 1: I'm doing really well. Thank you for having me, Emily.
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  Speaker 1: I'm excited to talk.
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  Speaker 3: I know the fact that I was able to not
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  Speaker 3: only secure you for the show, but secure you for
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  Speaker 3: the show during such a hectic time for you. How
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  Speaker 3: are you feeling right now?
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  Speaker 4: I'm feeling pretty good.
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  Speaker 1: I just finished a week in Los Angeles doing a
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  Speaker 1: bunch of interviews there, so I'm just like happy to
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  Speaker 1: be home this week and kind of focusing on, you know,
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  Speaker 1: doing what needs to get done, but also preparing myself
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  Speaker 1: energetically to go back out on the road.
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  Speaker 3: I know in the intro, of course, I will have
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  Speaker 3: mentioned the Way Forward.
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  Speaker 2: That's what we're talking.
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  Speaker 3: About right now, you have a new new book coming out.
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  Speaker 3: Does having a new book come out feel like maybe
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  Speaker 3: having a child?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: And you know what's funny is that in the sense
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  Speaker 1: that this book, I feel like it just puts together
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  Speaker 1: and makes sense all the other books. You know, it
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  Speaker 1: is sort of like weaves this larger picture. Because I
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  Speaker 1: wrote this one book.
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  Speaker 4: Called Later.
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  Speaker 1: Last year and it was a nonfiction book, which was
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  Speaker 1: really different from the poetry and prose books that are
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  Speaker 1: usually usually released. But the Way Forward kind of just
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  Speaker 1: brings together inward and clarity and connection. And to me,
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  Speaker 1: those first two poetry and prose books like they were
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  Speaker 1: incomplete without the Way Forward. So it almost feels like
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  Speaker 1: a sigh of relief, like, Okay, they're all out there.
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  Speaker 1: It's a complete set, and now people will, hopefully, you know,
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  Speaker 1: really understand what I'm talking about.
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  Speaker 3: Really understand what you're talking about, and a lot of
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  Speaker 3: people keep up with what you're talking about. Something like
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  Speaker 3: over two point seven million followers on Instagram, many of
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  Speaker 3: them regular really sharing your stuff. Before we get into
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: a little bit of your backstory and how you got
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  Speaker 3: to be in this place, that you are. Now, I
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  Speaker 3: do want to talk about the meaning behind the pseudonym
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  Speaker 3: young Pueblo.
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  Speaker 2: So why don't you give us the lowdown?
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  Speaker 1: Sure, so, Young Pueblo. It was a name that kind
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  Speaker 1: of just pop up, like popped into my mind when
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  Speaker 1: I first got onto Instagram back in like twenty twelve,
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  Speaker 1: and back then it was just a private account. But
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  Speaker 1: when I started meditating, I started realizing that I'm really immature,
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  Speaker 1: Like I have a lot of growing up to do,
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  Speaker 1: and I've been studying history my whole life, like I've
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  Speaker 1: always been really like just enjoyed learning about the rise
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: and fall of empires, like how systems develop over time.
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  Speaker 1: And I started realizing that humanity as a whole is
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  Speaker 1: very immature. Like when we're trying to think about what
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  Speaker 1: actually is maturity, I always like to think back to
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  Speaker 1: what were we first learning when we were kids. And
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: when you send a kid to kindergarten, the first things
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  Speaker 1: that teachers are trying to teach you is like how
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  Speaker 1: to clean up after yourself, how to share, how to
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  Speaker 1: be kind to one another, how to tell the truth,
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  Speaker 1: you know, and just generally you know, to not.
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  Speaker 4: Hit each other.
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  Speaker 1: These like fundamental basics and we may be good at
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  Speaker 1: these things as individuals, but as a human collective, we
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  Speaker 1: haven't mastered these basic things at all. And to me,
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  Speaker 1: young Pueblo it just means young people, and it means like,
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  Speaker 1: you know, we're still on the rise, We're still mature,
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  Speaker 1: and we're still growing. And that's why I like to
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  Speaker 1: focus all of my writing around personal transformation and relationships,
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  Speaker 1: because I feel like, in a big way, these things
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  Speaker 1: are the building blocks of society, and to me, my
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  Speaker 1: writing feels like one of the sort of very small
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  Speaker 1: things that you know, because so many different people are
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  Speaker 1: trying to improve humanity as a whole through their own way,
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  Speaker 1: and you know, I'm just trying to add to that
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  Speaker 1: current of the many millions that are trying to push
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  Speaker 1: us in a better direction.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that's really special.
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  Speaker 3: And you know, it's so interesting because you talk about
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  Speaker 3: this concept that humanity is potentially entering an era of
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  Speaker 3: remarkable growth and healing, but there is just so much
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  Speaker 3: happening in the world.
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  Speaker 2: In this work that.
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  Speaker 3: You do, do you go through periods of feeling maybe
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  Speaker 3: frustrated or just at a loss for what is going
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  Speaker 3: on in our world in terms of society, and so
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  Speaker 3: many other facets.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, like every other week.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you just watch, you keep watching the news, and
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  Speaker 1: like the news, you know, it'll bring focus to like
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: obviously things that are important, and but you keep sort
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: of developing this sort of more more microscopic attention when
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: you're looking at different like, oh, this issue that's going
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: on here, this issue that's going on there. But what
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  Speaker 1: I try to do is intentionally take a big step back.
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  Speaker 1: If I'm going to try to really get a sense of,
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  Speaker 1: you know, how we're moving as humanity, I have to
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  Speaker 1: remind myself that, like we live in a special time,
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  Speaker 1: Like we live in a time where there are millions
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  Speaker 1: and millions of people who are meditating these days, millions
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  Speaker 1: and millions of people who are seeking different forms of therapy,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: people who are you know, using psychiatry or using you know,
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  Speaker 1: there's so many different healing modalities that are available to
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  Speaker 1: people now than ever before, and to me, this is
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  Speaker 1: like historically unprecedented, right, Like these modalities that come from
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: the Eastern world, that come from indigenous, modalities that come
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: from the Western world, Like they're more widely accessible than
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: they ever been. Like we can always go further in
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: terms of accessibility, but it's undeniable that these modalities that
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: can help transform your mind are way more accessible. So
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: to me, that gives me a lot of hope because
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: there are always people that are trying to change the
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  Speaker 1: world for the better, but this is one of the
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  Speaker 1: first times where we can change ourselves individually internally as
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  Speaker 1: we're trying to change the world. And to me, that's
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  Speaker 1: the miss peace.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: You know, it's interesting that you bring up the word
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: accessibility because as you pointed out, there still is work
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: that can be done on that front, and I would
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: almost argue that some people who struggle with accessibility turn
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: to content like yours to help them get through their
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: difficult moments. How does that statement make you feel? When
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: did you come to a place where you realize that,
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: as an individual, you diego have that opportunity to help others?
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I think, I mean one, I feel really grateful that
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: that's even the way things have turned out. I feel
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: it's interesting because a lot of times, like you know, I,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: as an individual like I can't define things. I can
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: only give my perspective on things, and I can only
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: reflect openly because that's what I really feel like I'm doing.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: I'm just openly reflecting and sharing things that would be
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: happening in my own mind, you know, if it was
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: just me and myself. But the way that things have
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: worked out, you know, putting things out there on the
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Internet and how big they've gotten. I feel like a
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: mixture of a sense of responsibility and also reminding myself
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: like at the end of the day, you know, I
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: can't control the way people perceive different things that I write,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: and ultimately, like all I can really share are my perspectives.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: And to me, I feel like the number one most
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: important thing is that I just keep meditating. Like that's
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: that's the number one thing. It's like if I keep
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: you know, meditating in this footposita, a practice that has
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: given me so much, Like I've been in the Goenka
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: tradition for eleven years now and the results have been
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: like completely life changing. And I've seen the way that
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: it has improved my relationship with my wife, you know,
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: with my parents, with my brother and sister, and just
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: with you know, with everything that comes together with work.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: So to me, it's like, if I want to put
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: forward the best version of myself, I just need to
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: double down on meditating because I know that's what works
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: for me.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that whole put your oxygen mask on first
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: so that you can then help others situation. And your
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: meditation practice is quite extensive. You meditate for two hours
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: a day.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've been doing that for like, I think
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: it's a little more than eight years now, and I've
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: been you know, doing it daily, and it's been you know,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: it's a big time investment.
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: But I always think about the results that I get.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: That's what reminds me, like, you know, whenever I feel tired,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: or I feel too lazy, or you know, I want
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: to watch too much Netflix, it's like, now, you know, remember,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: like this is actually improving every facet of your life.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: And even with you know, meditating two hours a day
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: and having all this work that I need to do,
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: it still feels like, you know, you can still find
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: time to waste.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean this is like the definition of
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: if he wanted to, he would oh man, Well, I
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: do think that there is some context to provide in that.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: It's not like one day you just said, you know
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: what I'm going to start doing. I'm going to start
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: meditating for two hours a day, and then that brought
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: you all of these different results obviously, then in turn
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: this audience, so give us some context into where you
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: were in your life when you first found meditation.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm glad you're pointing that out, because it was
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: all very slow and gradual. So I was at the
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: summer of twenty eleven, I sort of hit this breaking
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: point in my life where I was trying to run
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: away from my emotions as fast as possible in the
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: easiest way possible. And the medium that I found was,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: you know, drugs and alcohol, just like trying to you know,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: whenever a tense emotion would arise, I would try my
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: fastest to just like find some weed, roll a joint,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: or drink alcohol or or go to as many parties
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: as possible. And that long pattern that was lasting for
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: about five to six years, it resulted in me just
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: like wrecking my body right, Like my mind felt terrible,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: my body felt terrible, And there was one particular night
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: where I pushed my body to and I felt like
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: I was dying, Like I felt like my heart was
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: going to explode. And in that moment, I realized, if
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: I keep going like this, you know, I'm going to
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: lose my life. Like my body literally can't take it anymore,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: and I started changing my habits, you know, quite slowly.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: The first thing I did was I just stopped all
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: the things that could immediately endanger my life. So any
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: hard drugs, I put them down, and I started, you know,
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: going for long walks. I started trying to tell myself
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: the truth. I started practicing not running away from my
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: emotions even when it was difficult. And it felt like
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: this sort of this year long period of self love
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: where I was just you know, and I'm talking like
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: pre the self love era, like twenty that twenty eleven,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: you know, twenty eleven to twenty twelve, when people on
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Instagram weren't even talking about self love yet, and it
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: felt like a really nourishing and empowering time, especially in
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: regards to all those emotions that I was avoiding because
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: to me, when they would come up, all that tension,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: it felt so daunting to even sit with it. But
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: when I challenged myself to spend five, ten, fifteen minutes
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: just you know, literally sitting on my bed feeling those emotions,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: it was surprisingly not as overwhelming as I thought they
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: it was going to be. So in that moment, I
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: felt like a lot of my you know, I got
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: to reclaim a lot of my power, and eventually I
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: did a silent ten day meditation course. And when I
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: did that course, it was super, super difficult, and I,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: you know, basically honestly barely made it through. But when
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: I finished the course, I realized that my mind felt lighter,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: and my mind felt better than before, almost like if
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: it was, you know, ten to fifteen percent lighter than
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: it used to be. And by lighter, I mean like
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: there was less anxiety, less stress, less tension, like less
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: of that reactive quality. And I was really shocked by that.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: So over the next two year period, between twenty twelve
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: and twenty fourteen, I did a few more of those
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: ten day courses before I actually started meditating every day. Yeah.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a few things that double click on first and foremost.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: You're doing all of this in your early twenties, you
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: really made a myriad of choices, all at the same time,
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: all of which individually could have been difficult to execute.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: So for someone else who may recognize certain patterns or
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: wants to make a profound change in their life, and
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: they do recognize that there are several different things that
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: they want to do, what do you say to them,
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: because I think that that in itself can be daunting,
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: wanting to incorporate all of these different changes at the
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: same time totally.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: And it sounds like a lot when I'm telling the story,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: you know, like the quick like two to three minute
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: version of the story. But it was like slow, you know,
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: like it was I'm talking slow, like I remember the
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: first two things between twenty eleven and twenty twelve. Or
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: I don't do any drugs that can take your life
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: and move move your body, like go for long walks,
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: go to the gym, you know, drink more water, do
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: things that would help my body. And that was like
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: the primary objective for that first year. And when that
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: felt sort of secure, when it felt like second nature,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: like it was like, Okay, this isn't too difficult. I'm
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: getting into the rhythm and habit of this. Then it
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: was like, okay, what can I turn my attention next,
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: you know, to next? And that's when I started focusing
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: on meditating and going even deeper with facing my emotions.
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: And you know, that.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Took like a that took like a two and a
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: half almost three year period where it was like okay,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: like I want to bring meditation into my daily life,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: and I kept building. So my advice to people is, like,
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: you don't want to change everything at once. You want
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: to pick like one or two of the most important
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: things and strengthen them, like put your determination to them,
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: make them building blocks, like fine foundational aspects of your life,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: and then once they feel secure, then you put put
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: the next brick in right and pick the next thing
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: that you're going to work on. And like that, I think,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: you know, that's really where I am now is like
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: every two years, like even now, like I feel like
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: right now this time, because meditation is so dialed in
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: and like I'm going to meditate every day no matter what.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Right like, I know that I'm going to do it,
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: and I know how how good it is for me,
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: and it's not a questionable thing. So now my attention
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: is turning to more so fine tuning my health and
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: trying to bring it to like a new level of
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: health so that you know, I can you know, hopefully
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: be a dad someday and like take great care of
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: my kids and like you know, be light and healthy
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: and able to play with them as hard as I can.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: And so but all these things like take time, so
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: like the beginning was just like trying to save myself,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: like save my life, and now it's like, let's get.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: Stronger, beautifully put And I'm curious, are you habit stacking
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: at all with the meditation? So is there anything else
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: for you at this moment that you pair with that
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: that practice that's a non negotiable.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Oh that's really interesting. No, I mean the meditation. I
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: definitely keep it like separate to everything else, Like I
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: don't want to like over like it's already like it's
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: its own big thing that's giving me so many things.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: So I always keep it kind of separate from everything
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: else and try not to combine it with other things.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: But I think the only other, like super simple thing
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: that I'm making sure to do is just to like
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: drink a glass of water when I wake up. It's
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: like it's so easy to just get dehydrated throughout the day.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, let me get a glass of water
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: and then I'll sit down to meditate in the morning.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: But the other things are kind of like and this
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: is like the issue with a lot of people who
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: like own their own businesses and are there you know,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: they're they're their own employer. Is like every day can
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: be so different, right, Like one day you'll wake up
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: and it's the moment you wake up, you just have
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: meeting after meeting after meeting, or all these different things.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: So to me, like, I meditate two hours a day,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: but it depends, you know. Sometimes I'll wake up and
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: meditate right away, or other days I'll wake up and
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: then meditate like sort of three hours after I wake up,
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: because the first few hours are just things I have
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: to do or I have to squeeze in my workout first.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: And you know, so every day is pretty different.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Every day is pretty different.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: Do you have those days where you realize that it's
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: six o'clock and you haven't gotten the time to meditate yet.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: No, because I make time, Like I'm just like, if
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: you know, if it's if it gets too late in
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: the day, I'm like, you know, because the value of
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: sitting those two hours a day. And then something that
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: you know, I learned from from my teachers and Guanka
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: is like you want to meditate at some point in
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: the morning because that whole time at night when you
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: were sleeping, you were reacting to your sensations.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: We often think that we're reacting to the thoughts or
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: the dreams in our minds, or the memories that are
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: passing through through the mental theater that we all have.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: But all of those things that arise on the mind
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: simultaneously arise with since stations on the body, and we
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: don't quite realize, like when we feel anger, we feel sadness,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: like those are feelings in the body, like we feel them.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Anxiety is like a clear feeling, and what we don't
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: like is like is that feeling?
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: You know?
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: We have a version to that. So that level of
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: sensations is always on. We're constantly reacting to it. And
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: you can tell even when you're sleeping, right, you'll be
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: sleeping on your bed and if it gets cold, like
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: you'll grab the covers and put them on your body
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: even though you're still asleep, or you'll take them off
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: because it's too hot, and I think you know. So
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: you wake up in the morning and you have actually
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: been reacting all night. So it's almost like a way
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: for you to clean your mind from all the stuff
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: that you've been accumulating at night, and the same thing
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: meditating in the evening, you're like cleaning your mind from
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: all the stuff you accumulated throughout the day when you
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: were working and doing whatnot.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: It's like a physical manifestation of the glymphatic system, like
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: just happening right when you wake up.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: In the morning.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: It's so interesting to hear again about this like content,
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: because it is so so beautiful.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: How you make it a priority for yourself.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: You talked about how when you first started prioritizing your
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: own health and well being, you recognize that you were
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: both your words, immature and also that you weren't taking
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: the time to take care of yourself.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Is there something that you can attribute that to.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Was that a learned behavior or something that you saw
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: growing up that you didn't want to interact with your
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: emotions or was this just the result of your environment.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: At that time.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's a great question. I think there's a number
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: of things. I think, you know, I would cope by
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: trying to escape, right by trying to just like not
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: not deal with whatever is there and ignore it. But
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: I think the other part was I think something that
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: a lot of us people our age are reckoning with
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: is like most of us when we didn't grow up
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: with parents that were meditators or or therapists or anything
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: like that, so we didn't have a way to age
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: with our emotions like most of you know, most of
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: us like had the TV be our third parent or
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: something like that, or second parents, so we had we
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: just had no real method to process. And I started
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: realizing that when after I graduated college was like I
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: don't even know, Like all I could, all I knew
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: was to run, right, was to run and ignore, and
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: if I wanted to feel better, I had to face it.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: But I think it was just a mixture of like
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: dealing with the sadness and anxiety that I grew up
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: with and sort of was imprinted upon by dealing with
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: just being a poor immigrant in the United States, like
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: I was born in Ecuador, came to the United States
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: with my family when I was four years old, and
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: we went through, you know, serious poverty when we were
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: growing up in Boston, and seeing the struggle of my
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: mom and dad trying to figure it out every month
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: every month, like how to pay the rent, how to
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: get food in the fridge, and just like you know,
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: seek after these fundamentals of life. Like I saw all
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: of that, I saw that struggle, and to me, it's like,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: of course, like it makes total sense, Like this is
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: where all this anxiety was born from. But then it
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: just kept accumulating, kept accumulating over time. And when you
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: have no tool to process, what else is it going
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: to do. It's going to just keep snowballing and growing.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, snowballing and growing.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: The first ten day retreat put us in your shoes there.
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I was.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: It was hard, like you know, like I said before,
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: I before that ten day course, I was practicing, you know,
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: without a meditation technique, just like challenging myself to sit
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: with my emotions for five ten minutes. But now when
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: I'm actually in the retreat, like you know, we're doing
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: a much it's a it's a real meditation, a much
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: deeper sort of like first hand experience of whatever is
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: a rising and passing away inside of your you know,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: your being, and we do that, you know, ten eleven
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: hours a day. So to me, I was just like
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: one it was. It felt so difficult, and I was
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: totally doing the bare minimum, you know, like just not
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: not meditating the full ten eleven hours that first course.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: And I kept looking at the guy who who I
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: got a ride with, and I would see him and
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: now kind of just I was kind of trying to
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: get a sense of like is he gonna leave? Is
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: he gonna stay? Because if he's gonna leave, I'm gonna
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: try to hit your ride back with him. Because this
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: was the time before uber and there was no like
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: and we were in the middle of nowhere, Washington State,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: you know, this this little town called called on, Alaska,
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: And I remember when we drove there, there was nothing
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: on the way there. And I've been to that center
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: again before, like you know, I think like five years ago,
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: I went back to that center and did another a longer,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: twenty day course there, and I drove to that place
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: from different directions and there's there's just nothing to get there.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: And if it had if it had been a different time,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: if it had been like five years later, I think
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I probably would have just gotten an uber and left.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: And I'm really fortunate that there was no real way.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: And I was also I didn't have any money back then,
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: so it wasn't like I was going to pay for
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: a train or you know, or take a really expensive
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: cab or something like that. So I think, like, I'm
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: really fortunate the way things worked out that I had to.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I had no other choice but to just be there.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: And just face it. But once I realized that this
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: guy who I got a ride with wasn't going anywhere,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm here, you know, I'm I'm
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: so I took the last few days of the course
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: really seriously started meditating more, and when I got back
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: to Portland, Oregon, where I was staying at the time,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I was surprised. I remember walking back and like going
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: back because I was staying at a farm, and I
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: was like back on the farm, and I was like, whoa,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Like my mind, I've never felt my mind like this before.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Like it feels like my mind has space, like it
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: isn't pressed with like you know, anxiety or something that
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: it wants to grab onto. Like I'm able to like
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: look at a tree and it almost felt like I
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: could see more leaves in a tree than I could before.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: And it just felt so new and so balanced, and
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, whatever happened. I actually don't really
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: fully understand how the meditation worked, but let me go
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: back and get a bigger dose of what I just
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: got because I need more. Yeah.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: And it's so interesting hearing you describe this so beautifully
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: and with so many examples, because for someone who doesn't
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: have a meditation practice or has never felt this way,
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: it may be really hard to sympathize with it. And
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: what I'm hearing you say is you came out of
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: this experience and you truly felt less of a sense
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: of urgency, which is something that we all struggle with.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: I can say confidently, right, and for better or for worse,
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: that happened for you, just like the pandemic honestly happened
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: for so many of us, to also discover what it
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: felt like when there was less of a sense of urgency.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally. I mean it's interesting too, because I
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: credit so the book that I wrote, Clarity Connection, a
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: lot of that. I was finishing the manuscript when the
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: pandemic first started, and that moment where my wife and
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: I were like in our tiny apartment. So we lived
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: in New York City for seven years. The first half
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: we lived in Crown Heights, and then the second half
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: we lived in the North Bronx and we had this
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: like tiny little apartment, one bedroom apartment, and it was
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: the two of us there for the first you know,
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: like first three four months, and in that space we
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: started realizing that there were a lot of things about
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: our relationship that were sort of going under the rug
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: that we weren't quite quite dealing with, that we had
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: to talk about, that we had to not only like
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: sort of forgive each other for past mistakes, but we
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: also had to build better structures on how we communicate
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: and how we get along. And I'm really like, I mean,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: the pandemic was incredibly difficult. Like I lost family members.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: It was a tough, tough moment, But I'm also grateful
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: that I think because of what happens, my wife and
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: I were able to take our relationship to a new
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: level and just learn how to be together better and
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: how to love each other better, because it just revealed
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: everything that was wrong.
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for so many, for so many, and thanks for
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: sharing that. I think there are I know there are
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: many people listening to this right now that may feel
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: as though they are in a similar situation and don't
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: even know how to approach conversations that would yield a
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: similar result. So for that person, how do you start
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: getting to a place with your partner where you can
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: have vulnerable, honest conversations that you don't feel like you
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: need to run from.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's a few key things. One is
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: understanding that dishonesty always creates distance, and that's either dishonesty
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: between you and yourself. That means you're literally creating space
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: between you and yourself, and that means your sense of
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: awareness and your like total truth, you know, you're not
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: accepting it, and acceptance is that sort of medium that
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: closes that distance. And when you really understand that that
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: distance is something that you can create within you and yourself,
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: you also start seeing that that's a distance that you
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: can create between you and your partner. And when you're
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: both being dishonest about things, you're just creating so much
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: space between the two of you that you can actually
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: come closer and be a more sort of genuine unit together.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: And I think it's it's difficult because sometimes when you
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: do start telling each other the truth compassionately about you know,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: whatever it was that you were sort of caring inside
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: of you, it's going to be hard, Like it's going
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: to be hard to overcome that and be able to
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: either do that work of forgiveness and letting go or
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: figuring out a new system, because you know, whatever the
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: truth may be that you need to put forward, you know,
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: who knows how the other person is going to receive it.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: But as long as you're trying, it's like worth trying
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: to tell the truth to each other in that manner
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: because it's ultimately going to bring you closer together. And
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: the other side of things that I really recommend to
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: people is that you want to check in often, you know,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: and I'm talking at least on a daily basis, sometimes
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: two times a day, about where your emotions are, because
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: that's probably one of the most beautiful gifts that my
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: wife and I have been able to give to each
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: other is simply more information. Because we'll wake up in
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: the morning, and sometimes we wake up and one of
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: us will feel down or heavy or like or you know,
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: a little tired from the previous day. And so quickly
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: that feeling that you have, if it's untended, and if
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: it remains unaware, it can start developing a narrative. And
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: the mind really does not like to accept responsibility for
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: whatever it's feeling, so it will take whatever you're feeling
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: and start making it the other person's fault. It'll like
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: try to find a way to make it the other
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: person's fault. So when you check in about your emotions
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, this is how I'm feeling right now.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: You let yourself know how you're feeling, You let your
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: partner know how you're feeling. You both have that extra
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: information and then you can act on it in a
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: way where you can better support each other. And I
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: think the miracle and not the miracle, but you know,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: the wonder of like of being able to tell each
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: other this extra information is that it really does stop
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: unnecessary arguments from happening, because the mind loves to play
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: these games where it's like feeling a particular emotion and
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: then all of a sudden it's like, well, this isn't
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: my fault, this has to be your fault. Like and
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: when you just own it and you realize you know,
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: this is just another path changing emotion, it's much easier
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: to just let it go without it causing any trouble.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: Ah.
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  Speaker 3: we've got an awesome deal for you so that you
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: can try them all out. Get a free Element sample
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: pack with your purchase today by heading on over to
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  Speaker 3: drink lmnt dot com slash Hurdle. I can get a
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  Speaker 3: free sample pack so that you can try out all
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: of the flavors with your purchase today. Just head on
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  Speaker 3: over to drink lmnt dot com slash Hurdle last little
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: thing I want to throw into this mid roll today. Please,
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: if you haven't done so yet, head on over to
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: wherever you are listening to this podcast, whether it be
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, tune in, you name it and leave
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: a review, leave review and leave a reading and tell
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: the people why you love Hurdle and what keeps you
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: coming back for more.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Not only does.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: Your feedback mean the world to me, but it also
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: helps in all of the crazy podcast rankings and whatnot.
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: So do that do some good for me today? I
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: love you for showing up for me. You're the best.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: And with that, let's get back to this episode. Whether
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: or not you have a partner, let's talk about self
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: for a second. How do we get to a place
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: where we can regularly choose to be more kind to ourselves?
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good question. I think it has to
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: do a lot with acceptance to me.
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: Self.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Love is like, it's not consumerism, right, It's not like
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: you buying yourself things that you haven't gotten yourself before.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: It's more so it's an energy that you use to
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: try to know and heal yourself. But that aspect of
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: knowing and healing yourself, it's not going to work unless
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: you come into it with self acceptance. And when you're
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: able to get to know your own emotional history, get
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: to know you know the sort of your ebbs and flows,
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: and accept the way you move through the day and
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: simultaneously accept the history that's affecting your day to day,
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: you start developing a sense of compassion, and I think
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: from that compassion comes this kindness that you start treating
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: yourself because you know, you're like, I can't be one
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: hundred percent every day, I can't be like I can't
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: always say the right thing, I can't always like you know,
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: put my best best creativity forward, or you know, when
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: you start realizing that there it's natural to have ups
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: and downs, you can treat yourself with so much more
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: kindness and you'll notice that the downs they are not
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: going to be as like hard or as long as before,
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: because you're just like as opposed to throwing tension onto
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: the down moment and worrying and more anxiety to it
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: and being like, well, how long is this going to last?
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: Is going to be forever?
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: You're just like, oh, it's just, you know, another moment
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: that's changing, and it passes by more quickly.
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: And you talked about the profound hurdle moment that you
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: had back in college when you really started to turn
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: your life around. So is that what you noticed as
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: other difficult moments would continue to arise for you as
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: you continued on in your journey, that they felt more
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: like something that you were able to handle.
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: I think I learned over time. I mean in the
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: beginning it was incredibly difficult because I just had no
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: practice of even spending time with my emotions. But as
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: time moved forward and I was able to, you know,
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: build that quality and that habit of sort of checking
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: in with you know, whatever I was feeling, it helped
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: a lot. So now I feel like, even when I
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: think about my emotions, I don't think about myself like
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: as I am sad or like you know I am
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: you know, whatever emotion it could be. It's more like
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: sadness is moving through me, or like you know this,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: or like tension is here for a moment, and it's
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: more so like I'm losing the identification with it, and
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling it, you know, honoring whatever's there. But it's
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: just like it's just another thing that's moving through.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: That is really powerful because that's exemplifying the difference between
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: fact versus feeling. Right, It's like I can sit here
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: and I can say to you, I have brown hair,
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: and I can also say to you, I am sad,
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: but I am not permanently sad. I will permanently have
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: brown hair. I'm never going to have blonde hair. I'll
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: tell you that right now. So there is a difference
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: between those two things. And for some especially when that
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: feeling feels so grand, feel so large, feel so overwhelming,
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: it's hard to distinguish between the two totally.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: Because I think that's like the nature of the mind
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: is like we love stories and will love them even
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: if they're like bad for us, because like it's really
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: easy for us to get attached, Like we don't just
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: get attached to the things that we crave, we also
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: get attached to the things we hate, and we spend
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: so much time. So if it's like a story that
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: you know, we're not good, we're not worthy, like you know,
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: I'm bad. Then, Like we'll sometimes cling to these stories
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: and we'll keep augmenting them and adding to them. But
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: really it's like you made it.
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: If you made a mistake, you made a mistake. Or
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: if you did something great, you did something great. But
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: like every moment is just not going to be the same.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: They're going to keep changing because that's just the law
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: of the universe. Everything is impermanent.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: You talked about how the pandemic changed your relationship with
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: your wife for the better. Arguably, it also dramatically impacted
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: your career. So many more people finding you and your
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: writing during this time.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: Talk to me about what that was like for you.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: What was it like for you.
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: When more and more eyes started reading your work and
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: your words and looking to you for a little bit
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: of solace.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: You know, I mean it got to a point where,
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, I remember when the pandemic like first first started,
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: right like we all were just so confused, like we
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: didn't know what was going to happen. We thought we
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: were going to go you know, there was going to
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: be no work for like two three weeks, and then
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: it just kept dragging out, dragging out longer and longer
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: and It was interesting because I remember the first two
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: months of the pandemic that like March and April twenty twenty,
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: everything on the internet just slowed down, and rightfully, so,
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: I mean I remember because I was Were you in
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: New York during that first wave?
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm actually living quite close to where you used
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: to live right now.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So that first wave, I mean that that was
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: intense because that was like I think the number is
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: like somewhere around like twenty thousand people died in the
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: city in like two months.
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: It was wild.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: And it was also like like microlocated. I don't even
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: know what the right term is, but it was like
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: really in the city and in a few other cities
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: and not in the rest of the country.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: Hyper local hyper local.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, So it was like a strange sort of
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: moment where like we're really experiencing it and a lot
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: of other parts of the country in the world are
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: not quite experiencing it yet, and so people are like
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: kind of online kind of not nobody's really liking things
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: as much as before because we're all kind of just
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: like confused about what's happening. And I remember personally just
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: being concerned because I, you know, I had friends who
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: were in the hospital, like friends who were like so
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: sick in bed they couldn't move for a week, and
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: or there were people who knew that. You know, it
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: almost felt like everybody knew somebody who was like either
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: in the hospital or had passed away. And so in
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: that moment, it was like, let's just move slowly. You know,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: I'm not even going to be worried about this like
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Instagram thing or whatever's going on. It's like, it's just
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: what's most immediate and let me, you know, tend to
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: my relationship with me and my wife and then see
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: what happens.
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: But as things sort of settled.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: Down and then became you know, May, May, June, July,
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: that's when things really took off. Was like, because we
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: knew we were like in this quiet zone. I think
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: a lot of people started thinking about their relationships, thinking
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: about like how, you know, looking for different tips that
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: they wanted in terms of self improvement, because like, not
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: everybody was in a relationship. Some people were just like
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: in their apartment alone with a small circle of friends,
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: and you had no other choice but to face yourself,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: you know. So I think that was one of the
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: reasons why people were just like looking for different things
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: to try to put into practice or different things to
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: reflect on. And it's been an interesting ride ever since.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Like things really you know, grew a lot during that time,
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: and I think the numbers have gotten to the point
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: where they're almost unimaginable, right, Like I don't know what
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: like two point seven million people look like. Right, there's
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: just no way my mind can even try to wrap,
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: like honestly try to wrap its mind around it, Like
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: there's limitations that and so to me, I feel like
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: I don't I can't quite measure the impact that I'm having,
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: Like I really don't know. I can hear from stories
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: and whatnot from different people or if like my friends
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: know somebody that likes my work and then they tell
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: me a story. And it wasn't until I went back
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: to one of my first conferences after the pandemic, you know,
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: I was doing a talk and I ended up speaking
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: to one woman who wanted me to sign her books.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: And she told me that, like, you know, she had
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: all three of my books and she was like, you know,
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: she was like you saved my life, and she was
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: telling me her story, and I like I almost felt
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: like in a really positive way, like a deer in
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: the headlights. Like I'm just like, I'm taking in her story,
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: and I think during that whole time when we were alone,
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: like I really you know, I see the numbers, but
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know what the numbers mean. And there are comments,
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: but you know, you check the comments sometimes, but not
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: all the time because that's also very you know, exhausting.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: So I'm trying to watch out for my own mental
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: health when I'm you know, sharing things online. But getting
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: to meet an individual and hear her story and what
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: she went through and how these books helped her, I
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: was just like I couldn't even believe it, you know,
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: it just kind of shook me awake and was like, wow,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: this is like it's really affecting people. So I'm trying
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: my best to you know, to just one be grateful
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: that I can even help, and then try my best
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: to serve people.
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: It's really beautiful.
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: It's so special that we have each of us the opportunity,
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: whether you have two point seven million people trying to
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: keep up with you or just your family and friends,
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: right like, each of us have that opportunity to make
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: an impact on someone else, and especially in today's digital age,
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: you truly never know who is watching and who you
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: are impacting. I would be remiss if I didn't flip
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: this question and ask you who impacts you?
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's I mean, my number one influence is definitely
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: my wife. Like I think I'm learning from her every day,
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: sometimes more than what I want to be learning.
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: It's just like, you know, so like we just.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: Get that like positive feedback and also like it's clear
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: like how far we've come and how much I need
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: to work on or But I'm so grateful to the
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: I don't know the wisdom that she, like, because she
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: is a really serious meditator too, the wisdom that she's
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: putting out there. And I am also really influenced by.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: There's this teacher in this Vipositan tradition, Barry Lapping, who
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: he's been meditating for like fifty years. He's like seventy
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: I think seventy five or seventy six now, And I
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: mean this guy has been meditating so much, like started
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: around the same time that I started, Like I think
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: he was in his early twenties. He's someone that I
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: bring my questions to and I'm always like just so
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: impressed by how unstressed out. He is like he like
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: you know, is helping a ton helping a ton of people,
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: you know, working a bunch, but just does it all
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: so calmly and so peacefully, and he's so unafraid of change.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: And it's like, I don't know, I take a lot
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: of inspiration from him.
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: And the best way that you know how to someone
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: who may not have any true understanding of how someone
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: sits down to meditate for the amount of time that
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: you do, can you explain, albeit briefly, what that period
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: of time actually entails for you?
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, so one I think the best explanation is
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: probably like when you go to these silent ten day courses,
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: you spend the first three days being aware of the
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: breath and it's called anapana, and you're just, you know,
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: aware of the breath in a way where it comes
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: and concentrates the mind, and that calming and concentrating of
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: the mind sort of prepares you to be then able
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: to really observe the body, because we're all aware of
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: our body put to certain degrees. When we're able to
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: really calm and constant the mind, you're able to feel
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: your sensations in a much more like vibrant and crisp level,
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: and the last seven days of the retreat, you're you know,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: being aware of the sensations on the body and within
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: the framework of the body. When you're being aware of
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: it like that, you start learning more about the truth
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: of impermanence. And so that's what you do during the
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: silent ten day courses, and when I meditate at home,
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: it's just that same sort of direct observation of impermanence.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: You're just you know, feeling the sensations on the body
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: and understanding how everything is always changing. And that's you know,
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: the sky level view of the technique. And of course
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: when you get there, there's like it takes those actual
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: ten days to learn how to be able to practice well,
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: and because you not only have to learn the technique,
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: but you have to develop the qualities of the mind
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: during that ten day so that you can actually feel,
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: you know, what's happening in the body, because it's there's
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: so much more, I mean, to the point where you
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: can you know, feel how everything is changing literally like
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: at a microscopic level, which is totally possible if the
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: mind is enhanced.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: If the mind is enhanced, I firmly believe there's no
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: such thing as a dumb question. So I've got to
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: inquire whether or not there's a timer for something like this.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: How do you know when the process.
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: Is done totally? The iPhone will let you know.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I said the timer for an hour, and then
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: when it dings, yeah, it's done.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: On to the next thing.
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: Do you ever get to that ding and you crave
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: or require more time?
• 48:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah? Sometimes for sure. And it all depends, you know.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm on the go and it's like, you'll get
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: more time when you get more time, But other times,
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: if you need more time, then yeah, I'll be fortunate
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: enough to keep sitting.
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: What would you say right now, knowing that this practice
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: prepares you for even greater challenges ahead.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: Are your current biggest challenges?
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: My current biggest challenges are I think time management and
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: is it really time or is it energy? It's more
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: like energy management. It's like trying to figure out where
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: I want my energy to go to because I'm really
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: enjoying being an author in writing books, but I'm also
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: like the past two years, myself and five other friends,
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: we built this venture capital company that is really focused
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: on trying to invest in companies that are sort of
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: building that next generation of Internet platforms that are intentionally
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: built in a compassionate manner, that are trying their best
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: to create whatever products they're creating, but with the well
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: being of the user in mind. So to me, that's
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: been like a whole world that I've been opened up
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: to and have really been enjoyed because I feel like,
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, we've been using the Internet for
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: so long, but it can be better, and we need
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: to you know, keep developing platforms in a direction that
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: just are not increasing loneliness or not making people more depressed,
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: that are still giving people the services or fun that
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: they're looking forward, but not in a way that's like
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: inducing anxiety or hurting people's minds. So I'm pretty excited
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: to be, you know, jumping into this work. But at
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: the same time, like balancing that with writing and everything
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: has been like a you know, a learning.
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: Curve, a proper multi hyphen it. What a twenty twenty
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: three answer. I'm passionate about meditation. I really love to
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: help people find their personal betterment, and I'm also interested
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: in venture capitalism.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the other day I was I was talking to
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: someone and they were like, why are you a poet
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: with a venture capital company.
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: I was like, I don't know, because I'm trying to help, like.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: I'd do something with this money. Shoot, oh man, that's great.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: That's truly great.
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: You know something I ask everyone that comes on the show,
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: and especially relevant to our conversation because we did talk
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: about your sizable following. People come to your Instagram feed
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: and they see a person that is not only a
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: New York Times bestselling author, but also someone who really
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: does understand so much of the work that we're all
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: trying to do every day toward you know, better self belief,
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: personal betterment, and developing clear, healthy boundaries and relationships. When
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: you look in the mirror, diego, what is it that
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: you see looking back at you?
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, I see someone who's really doing their utmost to
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: embrace the truth of impermanence. I feel like, like, I
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: know that I struggle when I don't embrace in permanence.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: If I develop a combative relationship with impermanence, then life
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: hurts right. That means I'm too attached to how things are.
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: So I do my utmost to try to embrace impermanence.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: Understand that everything's always changing, understand that there's always ups
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: and downs, and I feel like when I do embrace
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: some permanence, I can more easily flow with things as
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: opposed to getting tossed around.
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: I want to talk a little bit about this concept
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: of lingering in discomfort, or choosing a life or a
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: way that we know might not be serving us, but
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: we feel crippled to get out of. That is a
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: concept that I know there are people listening to this
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: right now and they're nodding their head and they're thinking
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: about perhaps an exercise routine that doesn't serve them, or
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: alack thereof relationship that they're in, a job, et cetera.
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: So when someone feels as though they are stuck within
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: this hurtle moment and capable of getting out, do you
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: have any advice or suggestions of the first place to begin.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: I think the first place to begin is your intuition.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: Is like I think oftentimes we will linger in that
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: zone right when we are not sure what our next
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: move is going to be. I think for a lot
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: of people, life is so tricky and difficult that, like,
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: especially if you're trying to move from one job to another,
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: like you still have to pay your rent, so you're
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: not just going to bounce from that job and get
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: you know, and not have work for a while because
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: you might not be able to afford that. So I
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: think a lot of times we have to check in
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: with our intuition because our intuition, I think it's often
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: geared towards major events in life where it's like trying
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: to push you outside of your comfort zone so you
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: keep sort of expanding in the ways that you need to.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: And like I look back to when my intuition was
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: telling me to write, I didn't listen to it for
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: like a year, and I was just, you know, doing
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: a job that I sort of half liked, and I
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: kept doing it, but I knew that this wasn't like
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: what I wanted to continue doing. But it took me
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: time to be able to not only clearly feel what
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: my intuition was telling me to do, but also to
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: just gather the courage to get it done. So I
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: feel like that's my number one advice is like, your
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: intuition will never ask you to harm yourself or harm
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: others or other people, but it we'll ask you to
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: step outside your comfort zone. And your intuition is not
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: your craving, right, it's not like, oh, I want more
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: ice cream or I want more of this, and that
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: it's going to try to give you a bigger message
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: as to what's the next move. So then the other
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: part is like, are you bold enough to listen?
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, are you bold enough to listen?
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: Is really the difficult part, right, I mean, I like
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: in this or think about this. For myself, getting out
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: of an emotionally abusive relationship and staying in the relationship,
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: albeit awful and hard and difficult, it was familiar territory
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: and finding the strength to get out of that relationship.
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: It took courage, and it took that bravery that we're
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: talking about, right, And it's not until you get on
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: the other side of it and you have that hindsight
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: that you're able to say, just like we were talking
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: about about the strength that we gain from going through
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: these difficult moments, and that the next time it's easier
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: to handle, and the next time after that it's even easier. Right,
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: not to downplay the severity or the difficult like the
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: difficult nature that goes hand in hand with dealing with
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: some of these obstacles in our lives.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's challenging for sure.
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for sharing that too, because I feel
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: like it's so like getting out of a relationship like that.
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: You know, I can't even imagine how it was for you.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: But I feel like it's so important to share even
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: the little tidbits of our stories because, like you were
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: saying earlier, like we have no idea who we're going
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: to help. And that's why I tell people, I'm like,
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: this is the best time ever to get your message
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: out there in whatever way possible. If you want to write,
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: if you want to start a podcast, if you want
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: to do whatever, just do it because you don't even
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: know who you're going to help, Like you don't know.
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I also think that right now what we're
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: seeing especially, I mean I was laughing last week looking
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: at I believe I forget the exact number. It might
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: have been, like thirty creators or whatever the spotlight was
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: that Forbes was doing, and it's like a year or
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: two years ago, these people had completely different jobs and
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: now they're on a top list of Forbes Creators, each
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: of them making over four million dollars. And it's like
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: that's because one day they decided to share.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: Their story, their person, their view with the world.
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: And some people liked it and some people didn't, but
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: it didn't matter because they were doing something with it.
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was thinking just the other day when
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: I was in the car driving back from Boston because
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: my wife and I live in the middle of western Massachusetts,
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: and I was realizing I was like, if everybody wanted
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: to please everyone and wanted everyone to have a good
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: idea of like who they were, you know, like have
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: a positive image of who they are in their mind, like,
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: nobody would ever be able to take a step forward, right,
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: because like someone, there's always going to be someone out
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: there who disagrees, and that's fine, right, It's good. I
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: feel like it's an important character development quality that we
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: all need to build where we can look at something
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: and be like, oh, that's not for me without hating it,
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: and it's like, oh right, that's you know, and then
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: they just move on and move on to the things
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: that they do like. But that shouldn't stop us from
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: creating things, because like, you know, you'll find your niche,
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: you'll find your base, and then some people may not
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: dig it, but a lot of people will.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: A lot of people will.
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: You'll find your thing, You'll find your base what would
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: you say is your favorite thing about the base that
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: you've built thus far.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: I mean my favorite thing is that they inspire the
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: heck out of me. Like you know, like when I see,
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: like whenever I do do events, which is really rare,
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: like I'll do maybe like five events a year, I
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: go out there and I'm.
• 57:26
  Speaker 4: Like, whoa.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: There are people who are like actively trying to heal themselves.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: And I love hearing the stories that people will tell
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: me about the different techniques that they use, too, because
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: like it's important to realize, like just because one thing
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: works for me, it doesn't mean it's going to work
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: for everybody else. People need their own different modalities that
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: meets their minds where they are. But just hearing different
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: people's stories and seeing, you know, the case studies of
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: like I was once like this and I'm not perfect,
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: but now I'm like this, I'm like, that's amazing that
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: that's a huge step forward. Not only did you change
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: your life, but you're actually changing the lives of the
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: people around you because you're a kinder, gentler human being
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: and you're no longer like a point of harm, right,
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: because there are sometimes where there's like a giant web
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: of humanity. And when we don't know how to process
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: our own pain, we're just repeating our pain and then
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: handing it to other people who are near us. And
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: when people are healing themselves, transforming themselves, they're no longer
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: a point of pain. It's not like their life is
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: going to be perfect. But if something does happen to
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: them that is difficult, they know how to process it
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: within themselves without handing it over to somebody else. And
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: I think that's to me, that's beautiful, Like that's how
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: we build a better world.
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: I've got to know.
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: You mentioned the individual that you speak to about your
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: personal practice, but beyond that, do you have anyone else
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: that you speak to about what's going on in your life?
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: Do you personally seek out therapy or business coaching or
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: life coaching?
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: Who's in your gurup to a box?
• 59:01
  Speaker 4: Oh that's a good question.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: No, I've never taken therapy because meditating has been like
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: such a you know, it's like really kept my hands
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: fulls and my hands full, and I've been learning so
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: much from it.
• 59:14
  Speaker 4: I think there.
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: Are people like business people that I go to who
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: just know a lot more than I do. So I'm
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: really grateful to my friend who's also a general partner
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: wid ad Venture as a company that I was just
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: mentioning Bradley Horowitz, who he was a VP at Google
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: for a long time and he led the team that
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: developed Gmail and helped build a lot of the products
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: that we use every day. So whenever I'm like trying
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: to do something or don't understand something, I'm usually like, hey, Bradley, like,
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: what's happened?
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: I cannot imagine having the creator of Gmail like on
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: my speed dial.
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, this person in my toolbox.
• 59:50
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: And it's it's interesting because they understand things on a
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: whole other level and like we you know, it's one
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: thing to be able to use these products, but to
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: think about how much goes into the design of them.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: But whenever I'm trying to understand the economy or trying
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: to understand, you know, like how how could we help
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: this particular business, Like they're so wise, And when it
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: comes to those things and the business world, to me,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: it's like, you know, you can meditate a ton and
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: it can hone your intuition and make you peaceful, but
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: like you still got to learn, and when it comes
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: to business, you still have to learn from someone who
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: knows a lot.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: Very true.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: Speaking of learning from someone that knows a lot, what
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: is it that you hope that your audience is walking
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: away with when they're learning from you?
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: I'm hoping that people. One the main main message is
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: always the same one as when I first started, was
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: that healing as possible. I think that's like message number one.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: Number two is that there are tools out there for you,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: and sometimes that means doing a little bit of the
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: like spiritual buffet where you have to like try different
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: things and try different modalities until you kind of hit
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: the one that you're like, oh, I like this one,
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: this one's really going to work for me. And that
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: could be like what we've been talking about, like a
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: wide range of things. But when you find the thing
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: that works for you, you just got to dig deep
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: and just you know, keep hitting at it. And usually
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: the thing that works for you is something that is challenging, right,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: but not overwhelming, And when you find that sweet spot,
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: then you just keep moving forward. And I think that
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: was like one of the sort of main messages in
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: the Way Forward in my new book, because like the
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: world is going to keep changing, but if you're able
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: to be connected with your intuition. If you're able to
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: understand your own values and keep them simple, it'll help
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: you as everything keeps transforming inside and inside of you
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: and around you.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: Keep them simple.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: Right now, diego, you have an opportunity to offer yourself
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: a piece of advice. Looking back on that difficult hurdle
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: moment in college, knowing what you know, now, what do
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: you tell yourself?
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: I tell myself that that I definitely have the strength
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: to rebuild my life and put myself into a better trajectory.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: I think I was like doubtful in the beginning, like
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: I didn't know if I was able to, if I
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: was going to be able to recuperate, to be able to,
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: you know, just change things around. And if I could
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: tell myself that you do have the strength to get
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: this done, the determination, and that let it be a
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: gradual process. It's not like everything's better in a year
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: or two years. It's literally been a long game, like
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: a long like eleven years. And I think, you know,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: let the process be what it is. But I think
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: it's definitely possible.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: Let it be what it is. And that doubt also
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: so understandable and relatable. Right at the cusp of any
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 3: big change, it's almost inevitable.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and I think it's totally natural. But I
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: feel like, how do you combat the doubt? You combat
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: the doubt by looking at what are the actual results.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: And if you're trying to measure yourself from today to yesterday,
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: of course the picture is not going to be that pretty.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: If you measure yourself from when you began to where
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: you are now, which could be weeks or months, then
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: you get a better picture of how far you have come,
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: because it's a very different thing between looking at yourself
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: from a micro perspective to a macro perspective.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: For sure, Well do you go.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 3: I'm so so so happy that we were able to
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: sit down and have this conversation for those of you
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: that don't yet follow you, and I feel like there
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 3: aren't many listening to this show, but give us your info,
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: tell us how to keep up.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: So the best place to hang out I'm really enjoying.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: Substack Subsec is my jam right now, so Young Pueblo
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: dot substack dot com if you want to read my
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: new longer writings or to just like stay connected. I
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: also have a private member's only chat room there, which
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: is really cool. The other place is obviously Instagram young
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: Pueblo with an underscore in the middle, and you can
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: also find my books and bookstores everywhere.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: Bookstores every where, the newest one out now, I'm gonna
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 3: link it in the show notes. I'm over at Emia
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: Body and at Hurdle Podcast. Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: guys next time.