Latest / What's The Juice? / Ep.185 Blending Families & Holiday Expectations

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Ep.185 Blending Families & Holiday Expectations · What's The Juice?

• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Mike check, Mike check, Mike check.
• 0:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Good evening everybody, reporting live from WTJ Radio.
• 0:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: My name is Johnny Koro, and tonight you're listening to a very special playlist submitted by all your dosites.
• 0:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody clap at him.
• 0:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that's it.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did you start it yet?
• 0:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 0:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, guys.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's my turn to start the episode.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I wanna say, since you don't see us, I wanna paint the picture for you.
• 0:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're recording in a different setting.
• 0:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: That feels different to us, so you doesn't make a difference, but I am currently sitting in front of our Christmas tree.
• 0:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Beautiful, lighting up and having a beautiful glow in our living room.
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I lit up a candle right next to me.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have this big pillow in between my legs.
• 1:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's books really close to that candle she's talking about.
• 1:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, you're always thinking that if the candle's close to something,
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody knows you should not have books next to a burning candle and then one thing Ali would do she will leave the house or go downstairs to grab something.
• 1:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, that only happened one time.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: It only happened one time that I went outside like to the store.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I went to the store.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Should have the candles burning in the house.
• 1:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was one candle.
• 1:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a how how it was nothing close by like there was no books.
• 1:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: There was no nothing.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, just wall So we were good.
• 1:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I came back that she was still burning.
• 1:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I did deal.
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying it's good I'm not condoning that
• 1:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, but I'm just saying everything was fine.
• 1:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everything was fine And why that happened is because it was daytime.
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it was I lit up the channel so I couldn't tell that it was lit in a way But it was crazy excuse.
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was a tight rock couldn't see the camera.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I just it happened one time
• 2:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: But welcome back to the pod.
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's what I was trying to say.
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sitting in front of it on my beautiful vintage C.S.
• 2:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Dutch hair that I got from somewhere in I think Norway, this is where I got this from and I need to sit on this chair more.
• 2:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's so comfortable.
• 2:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's actually one of the most comfortable chairs I've ever sat on
• 2:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's because it's engineered to be fitting like our backs in the way.
• 2:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's beautiful.
• 2:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's also really, really comfortable, but And you don't use a cross on the couch.
• 2:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm on the couch.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: So now I actually have the whole couch to myself.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I am, I am in a position that you've never seen me before.
• 2:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: That sounds crazy.
• 2:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no, just like I'm just kind of like halfway laying down.
• 2:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I was gonna say something.
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever you decide that you want to see somewhere else, it's fine.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Whenever we do audio episodes, like we can see wherever, you know?
• 3:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 3:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because the camera is not on us.
• 3:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if I want and the mic cores are pretty long.
• 3:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I could say on my new desk right here, or like, I think it's a counter.
• 3:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: But anytime I do that, she's like,
• 3:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Come on, people.
• 3:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not gonna be focused.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Can you just be here and record normally blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think half-mainness is the word even though you are, but I think what you're trying to say is that you, I don't even know what are you saying.
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so, I'm like, I'm like so particular and I choose when something works and something doesn't.
• 4:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we have to work on it in 2020.
• 4:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I also think I discovered this chair, like I rediscovered my love for this chair.
• 4:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got it and I was like, oh, this is a cool chair, whatever, and then I never really sat on it for some reason.
• 4:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now, and out here, but welcome back, and you are right.
• 4:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I need to work that in 2016.
• 4:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was just waiting for him.
• 4:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I heard you.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was a waiting one out of Gamal.
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I was just like, she's not going to Gamal.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: I just don't know.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I eat to work on a lot of things.
• 4:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's this new year.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like we all do to welcome back to the what's the juice podcast.
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know you missed us.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're here.
• 4:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're haven't gone away.
• 4:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, life is December's kind of all over the place.
• 4:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, there's holiday.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's so much happening.
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's so much happening.
• 4:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're trying to get a lot of work done so they can actually take some time off.
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: But then some people already taking time off.
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's making you feel like you should have time off.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: But then you don't
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: But we wanted to talk about something that around the holidays, I think, is a common experience as you get older as maybe you are in a relationship that's long term, but maybe not even that long term.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you are married.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: or not, but regardless, the concept of holidays in general, the point of it at its core is to bring together family, whether it's Easter, Thanksgiving, but I feel like specifically Thanksgiving in the U.S. as well as Christmas are the top holidays when families get together.
• 5:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And as you get older, and let's say you're in a partnership that is combining families, having a combined or having a blended holiday, a blended family holiday, is a concept that we ourselves are sort of new to.
• 5:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't know our families pretty spread out, we have family all over, but some of our immediate family, my parents and my siblings, and then Yoni's mom, his sister, our nieces, are all in Seattle.
• 6:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we were able to do our first blended holiday this past Thanksgiving.
• 6:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: We've been meaning to do this episode for a minute.
• 6:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it was that we wanted to just kind of share like how we were feeling about it and how we went down and the whole experience because I do think it's something new and it was It was interesting doing that for the first time.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it wasn't everybody.
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, it wasn't everybody but it was definitely something I was looking for too, but I had no idea how it was going to turn out
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: mean either.
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I definitely, I was, I was a little nervous just because what comes with
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know how my family is, and obviously I've spent time with your family, you've spent time with my family, and our families are quite different, very different backgrounds.
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: My family's very loud, very intense, very sometimes you could say over the top, and your family's kind of the opposite of that.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: The same way that I'm the onion you are on this podcast basically.
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: So because of that, you know, you obviously don't want anybody to feel like they're being talked over or the conversations are getting too loud or fights breakout or anything like that like you're hoping that everybody's on their best behavior basically.
• 7:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I was nervous, but at the same time, I knew that everybody's aware of what we're doing.
• 7:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, everybody's aware we're combining families today.
• 7:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody's aware that we're doing this for the first time that we're kind of, you know, getting to know each other.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, because everybody's aware of this, we're all adults.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone is just on their best behavior, you know?
• 8:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
• 8:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, let's not, let's just have a good night.
• 8:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
• 8:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: So as long as you have like good food, good vibes, good music, drinks, then you should be good.
• 8:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: As long as everybody is aware of what we are and we are not going to be talking about it.
• 8:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's a number one rule.
• 8:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's a few things that when we are, because there's always a moment where everybody sits together.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like after you mingle in everything, it's time to, when mom or whoever it was mean this case says it's time to sit down for dinner or like dinner's ready.
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's like when the second part of the night starts.
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 8:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Alias spent the night, her parents had asked me to not have my sisters.
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: So my sister and I, in her boyfriend and her, our nieces, they, we all drove up together.
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I was at my parents house and my parents and my siblings, I had been like prepping all the night before cooking it up, brining the turkey, like I got to get out of here.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, he was cooking, I looked everything from scratch, it was crazy, you were so tired.
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I was, but I was like, so I was so motivated.
• 9:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I was having fun cooking.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because a part of it is like, this is the first time we're doing it.
• 9:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you were, I think, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but you were excited for what we were about to do, sort of like, you were cooking this, you're cooking this.
• 9:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was excited and also like, I don't really get to cook for a lot of people.
• 9:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: for like the food to actually be eaten.
• 9:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Most of the time it just mean you, so I'm not about to make like a whole turkey, whole potato salad, like pie from scratch, like all these things, because what the hell is going to eat that?
• 9:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: She wanted to make a pie from scratch so badly.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I did.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you did.
• 10:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we get there and everybody is basically what I want to say.
• 10:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like there's a few things that you should avoid talking about.
• 10:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: You want to tell the stylist?
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Number one, the set all together.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: One, two, three, religion.
• 10:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And maybe that's number two.
• 10:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And number two, actually, no, not religion.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not necessarily.
• 10:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: No.
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, because it's like, if it's true religious people, families getting together, like, there's no, I mean, are they the same religion?
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Most of the time you know what's going on, like most of the time you know the religion of each family.
• 10:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, yeah, I guess.
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Basically, I think the number one is politics.
• 10:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the number one is definitely politics.
• 10:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think religion, I think any sort of like divisive, controversial, potentially controversial potentially, like just get it, just don't put it in your mouth.
• 10:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: But there's a funny thing that's like,
• 11:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not necessarily political, it's not like religion or anything.
• 11:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, like when you talk about COVID-19, see, but that's already divisive, that's a divisive topic.
• 11:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is divisive controversial.
• 11:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: It can be depending on what you say out of all the things when COVID-19 gets here, especially this is like the first time people are meeting each other.
• 11:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like you don't know what they think.
• 11:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you don't know who got the vaccine.
• 11:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't know who did it.
• 11:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you kind of just you know how to tell you you just say something freely like I don't know like anybody who got the vaccine is whatever or maybe the other way around.
• 11:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I shouldn't get the vaccine And then you don't know you just meeting these people for the first time.
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like You just kind of have to watch people the reactions
• 11:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and the thing is like if you're the because basically the common factor here is Yoni and I Like Yoni and I are the reason why all these people are together So I feel that it's my responsibility to make sure things are good
• 12:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and things work it, you know, everything was great, things work good.
• 12:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just got momentum right there when COVID got brought up and it was kind of like, okay, you guys tread lightly, like, everybody's watching to see how far this is going to go.
• 12:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's such a funny thing because it's like unspoken.
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, this is something like, and you don't know what character is going to just be like, let me push this a little bit further.
• 12:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was just listening and enjoying the food out of your made.
• 12:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was playing with my nieces, but you hear everything.
• 12:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and you're just like, how can, like, what topic can we go from here?
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, and another thing I would say the thing about our families is blending them together is not too difficult because even though we are quite different, you know, remaining background, like African background, all these things at the same time, the, like, our, not that our culture is not like, that we're just not a very, um,
• 13:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: either cultural or religious families like both sides were not super like we didn't come in with a very specific cultural thing that might clash with the other and we had to like choose my traditions versus your tradition or something like that.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: The only thing was
• 13:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: the injera that we ate.
• 13:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: That was so good.
• 13:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.
• 13:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, in a positive way.
• 13:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: My family requested to have some Ethiopian food.
• 13:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: My mom brought some amazing, some injera that it's a spot that we always go to Seattle and we just had to go pick that shit up.
• 13:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 13:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, so good.
• 13:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we had, we ought to so much that we had left over for like the next two days.
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we had lunch after Thanksgiving the day the next day for lunch.
• 14:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: We had Ethiopian food and leftover turkey.
• 14:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we had some turkey with better betta, which is like an Ethiopian spice.
• 14:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Coach, no, I better betta.
• 14:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I know she's.
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh wait, you brought the berbered that our friend Bay's a gave us.
• 14:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, yeah, I remember it.
• 14:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Bay's, I don't know if you listen to the part or not, but if you do shout out to you because that, we still have it, right?
• 14:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Obviously it was a lot.
• 14:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, of course we still have it.
• 14:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was so, so it's so much better than the one I used to get from Whole Foods, like the can, like the fake berbered in a little glass jar.
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: you know we should make a we should make lasagna for Christmas and we should put bedbit inside the sauce okay I'm down that would create um yeah but what I wanted to say is just that I can see how because another thing too is like we had Thanksgiving
• 15:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: dinner, the day after Thanksgiving.
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thanksgiving is on the last Thursday of every November.
• 15:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: So for the actual Thanksgiving day, I was with my family and Yoni was with his.
• 15:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: So then the next day we did the blended thing.
• 15:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: If it were to be that we're doing something for Christmas now, I think it would be fitting for, I don't know,
• 15:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: But again, even Christmas, like we're not huge, like we'll have a tree and we'll have this and we'll have that, but I just don't sense like our families aren't huge when it comes to like
• 15:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Super tradition embracing, like, I don't know how to explain it.
• 15:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hmm.
• 15:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like it doesn't seem like either kind of cares that much for things to be done in a specific way.
• 15:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Where it's like, no, we have to have this or no, we have to have that.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, you know, where I do think that depending on how
• 16:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: traditionalists, and I guess like tradition focused, people are around the holidays with like their families.
• 16:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's where blending families would be tricky, because like who's house you go to is the other person that you don't go to their house.
• 16:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm gonna feel some type of way, like I wanted to host, but we're coming over here.
• 16:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like when this happens, and maybe this happens to a lot of people, but you just got to like interchange year by year.
• 16:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: One year we're gonna do it this house, and then next year we're going to add the house.
• 16:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's how it happens, but you shouldn't, especially if both parties want a host, if one party's like you're I'm good to come over every year That's fine.
• 16:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's cool.
• 16:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if both want a host, it should be respected and do it in you know both houses
• 16:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 16:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 16:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: But we luckily had a really good experience.
• 17:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I loved getting to see.
• 17:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I loved I was quite, I think, occupied with, you know, my cooking and everything.
• 17:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: But getting to see my dad and your mom talking, them interacting, my dad doing all the jokes, your mom laughing at his
• 17:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Was that the first time they hung out for that long?
• 17:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 17:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 17:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it was so good.
• 17:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is a thing that, you know, I grew up in a really blended family in the sense that I saw.
• 17:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I saw like my dad hanging out with my mom's mom.
• 17:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: all the time.
• 17:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, our families were always together.
• 17:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: My grandmas were always together.
• 17:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: But maybe it's because as a kid, I perceived it in a specific way.
• 18:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I just remember thinking, there's no, like, in a way I forgot that, like, my mom's parents are, I mean, obviously they aren't, but they aren't related to my dad.
• 18:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because obviously they're not.
• 18:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: But our families were together so much and my dad's relationship to his parents and law, his in-laws was so like familial and they developed such a good relationship that it was almost like they had their own relationship outside of my dad being married to my mom in a way.
• 18:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And yeah.
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: But that's because they spent so much time together and they got to create this relationship
• 18:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's like what I grew up with being able to see my dad having that relationship, my mom having a relationship with my my dad's parents, especially like his mom.
• 18:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, it just kind of makes me it it's hard not to compare, but at the same time, it's unfair to compare because we're in a very different situation.
• 19:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 19:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, our families being spread out, I was trying to be New York.
• 19:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I it was really nice for me as a child to see my family being blended and combined and always together and it's something that like at my core I would love to be able to recreate for my kids but at the same time like it's it's unrealistic because everybody's spread out.
• 19:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 19:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's the one thing about being spread out is that it's the nice thing about that is that you can visit many places.
• 19:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can visit your uncle here, you can visit your grandma in this country and your uncle in that country.
• 19:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's cool because you always have a place to stay in one of those places.
• 19:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: but the bad part is I don't even need to say you know this that it's just the distance like you don't grow up next to them like our nieces like I want to see them grow up you know but it's just like we live here they live there and less we live in the same state
• 20:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I would love to pick them up from school.
• 20:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, whenever I can, whenever I want to, just call my sister like, yo, I'm picking them up today.
• 20:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Uncle, you're only speaking them up.
• 20:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then just hang out with for the day, drop them off in a evening.
• 20:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And maybe that's something that our future holds somewhere, maybe not, but that that feels just so nice.
• 20:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Um, and I really want that, but you know, it's not possible, like right now, how, like there's no way that can happen.
• 20:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's possible when we're visiting, they're also still like babies, so they're not going to school anytime soon.
• 20:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 20:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: you know, and there's also, I guess there's some things that you just have to, there's certain ideas or like images you have in your head of like the traditional, you know, traditional family, whatever you want to call it.
• 21:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this debate is always like going on in my mind of are making the wrong choice, but trying to be New York, it's the constant dilemma.
• 21:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, I think like,
• 21:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this kind of, I think it would be good note to end on to actually go into we're going to record like next week's episode of just how.
• 21:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: We all know that our decisions that we make every single day, bigger, small impact the next in the happens.
• 21:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like in a video game.
• 21:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, those video games that are like choice games and it tells you like this choice or this decision they just made is going to influence the rest of the game.
• 21:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: or whatever.
• 21:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you chose that your character is going to talk to Sally and tell Sally the truth or tell Sally a lie, depending on what your character chooses, the entire game is going to be completely different.
• 22:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right, which is how life works basically, it is with anything it's like I think about that a lot.
• 22:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I think right on somebody, you know, and then now you're married Or something as if we didn't swipe right on each other we wouldn't even be here exactly which is crazy to think about that was one swipe away like if you just said
• 22:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: know or left or if I said the same thing, there would be no WTJ, it would be nothing like it's it's crazy to think about why did I bring this up because because how any decision influences the next one.
• 22:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, so basically I want to look at there's so many things in my life and I want to talk about this in next week's episode there are so many things in my life that like look and everybody has this that looking back.
• 23:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: You remember a point I was just so shitty, so annoying, so whatever, and it was like a big decision you had to make, and you were, your hand was forced, or maybe not, and you just made a decision.
• 23:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the result of that decision, you can see it, picture perfect, close your eyes, you see the whole journey, and you see where you ended up.
• 23:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And,
• 23:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: We'll talk about it in the next episode, but I bring that up to say that us living in New York and deciding whether or not to have kids here, deciding whether or not to raise our kids here, whether it's in New York, whether it's somewhere close to New York, whether going back to Seattle, going to a whole new place like whatever decision we make is going to obviously influence the future.
• 23:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I think you have to just trust that the decision that you're making right now is the decision you need to make and it's to write a decision and it's to write a decision and you have to sit with your choice and move forward and see how it develops.
• 24:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can always make another choice later but also the constant like back and forth for me at least is like emotionally exhausting and I need to just be like this is what we're doing and the outcome is what is meant to happen and that's it.
• 24:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: So then we can move on and just be like, this is where we are.
• 24:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Until something tells you over and over and over again, you need to make a change.
• 24:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because we're not nothing told us to make a change.
• 24:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
• 24:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just me and my head over thinking.
• 24:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in terms of, in terms of, you know, like us living away from family and stuff like that, I think this is just like the right choice for us right now.
• 24:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is what feels right.
• 24:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just like me second guessing, which I do all the time with everything.
• 24:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like choosing a restaurant.
• 24:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a cap, but But do we maybe want to do this?
• 24:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, it's like gross.
• 24:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just eat what you want it like you this what you do a restaurant or with anything Whether it's like no, it's any every just it's like maybe a couch that we're looking for right now Or maybe you will color cabinet do we want?
• 25:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's actually a decision that I think is worth thinking about further.
• 25:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It can be a small as like taking what restaurant we're going to go to.
• 25:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'd be like, okay, what was on the menu and then she kind of break it down for me and I'm like, okay, this is perfect.
• 25:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's go there.
• 25:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is what I wanted and then I'm like, okay, cool.
• 25:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then and then I'll be like, yeah, but this other place has this and I'm like, okay, what is it?
• 25:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then she tells me what it is and I'm like, oh damn, that's fire.
• 25:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's go there, but she's like, what about that other one?
• 25:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Are you serious?
• 25:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just pick one.
• 25:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, story of my life.
• 25:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's just how my brain works.
• 25:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is every day.
• 25:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I think we're going to end it on that note.
• 25:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think I think we'll end this with the blended little episode.
• 26:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I actually can't see the screen of the computer right now.
• 26:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't even know how long we recorded.
• 26:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: How long do you think this episode is?
• 26:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know like 55 minutes.
• 26:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Ooh.
• 26:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: 57?
• 26:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, 43.
• 26:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, wow.
• 26:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: OK, that's a sweet spot.
• 26:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so... Any last words?
• 26:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm excited.
• 26:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to get into...
• 26:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to record the next week's episode.
• 26:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: You and do that right now.
• 26:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I want to do that right now because it's so on top of my mind.
• 26:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: We can just like get into it.
• 26:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yonnie's running his eyes right now because he's tired, but we're going to do it.
• 26:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I want to do it because I want to I want to take a holiday.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll also the way everybody has next week in the week after that off.
• 26:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I also want to have that too.
• 26:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's up to us to like do the actual work now.
• 26:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that is kind of true but podcasting is different especially like I'm not sure a podcast when like everybody's on vacation hanging out.
• 26:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 26:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you guys for listening and let us know if you're listening on Spotify, let us know in the comments if you have any specific blending family's stories and how did it how does it how do you guys do it?
• 27:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, how has your experience been?
• 27:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have you done that?
• 27:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have you avoided that at all cost?
• 27:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you want to do it, but is there like a like a big problem?
• 27:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like a thing that you're scared of?
• 27:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like you just know your partner's mom and your mom are just not going to do it.
• 27:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's not a bummer like something.
• 27:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, you can just tell that the never met and it's probably for the better.
• 27:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, it's not even that they never met, but I'm saying like a holiday together because there's some people that the holidays are like really important to them.
• 27:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 27:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, there's no way that we're like going to do it with like not at the house.
• 27:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then we're going to, what do you mean we're not going to eat my famous casserole?
• 27:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Some people be like that.
• 27:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: We've all seen like Christmas movies.
• 27:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: What about what about if you're in a relationship?
• 27:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: And
• 27:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, your parents have a met, your person yet and you want to bring them, bring them over for Christmas, right?
• 28:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's someone out there in this position right now.
• 28:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, like.
• 28:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: They want to introduce your boyfriend and they want to do it on Christmas.
• 28:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's, I feel like that's like the perfect time to introduce someone because it's not like on a random Tuesday where you kind of like, Hmm.
• 28:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Work mode.
• 28:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't think it's a good time to be honest.
• 28:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it is because then you can just,
• 28:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, yeah, but at the same time, it's like something about it, don't you just as the parents, like if I had children and my child decided that on Christmas, they wanted to bring their like new person.
• 28:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is the first time we're meeting.
• 28:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not like I met their partner or who they're dating several times before.
• 28:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then this is just like maybe the fourth time and it's Christmas.
• 28:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's different But this is like the first time we're meaning I'm trying to do no small talk No, this no that is Christmas.
• 29:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to like be like with my family I'm trying to just why do you have to small talk comfortable You have to small talk.
• 29:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want it to be like a whole like this is the first time we're meeting It's taking away from the Christmas or the holiday experience Let's get for the first time like another time
• 29:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not gonna take away.
• 29:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like this is Christmas and meeting them for the first time.
• 29:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be Christmas.
• 29:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, why is that so valid though?
• 29:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, that's true.
• 29:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think that's quite valid.
• 29:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I'm saying.
• 29:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's not combine two things together.
• 29:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, I guess I was trying to solve a problem to the person out there who's
• 29:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: who's gonna, you know, introduce their partner to their family for the first time during the holidays.
• 29:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe they already did it for Thanksgiving, you know, but- Yeah, they already did it then.
• 29:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then it's not the first time.
• 29:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I was just talking?
• 29:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, you guys, thank you for listening to today's part.
• 30:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was a little bit off topic all over the place, but I hope you could follow, follow along.
• 30:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, we'll see you next week.
• 30:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Get in those comments on Spotify, let us know something.
• 30:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 30:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, we hope you're having a great holiday season enjoying all your family time.
• 30:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: How do you get all your gifts shopping done?
• 30:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: How do you have to have the last word?
• 30:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no good.
• 30:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, I'll wrap that up already.
• 30:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, bye.
• 30:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, I was just thinking what else do I want to say, like this is holiday time, the next episode is coming out like on Christmas.
• 30:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 30:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I want people to like, so this is not it yet.
• 30:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: This episode is late.
• 30:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know.
• 30:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm saying then what after this?
• 30:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so let's talk about that in the next one.
• 30:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, well on the next one, we're gonna say Merry Christmas.
• 30:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay, okay, okay.
• 30:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or happy Christmas or whatever.
• 31:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're getting gifts for anyone.
• 31:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's not done.
• 31:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hmm?
• 31:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Fairly is not be done.
• 31:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I just heard you say something.
• 31:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 31:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, what line, which is that?
• 31:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Spanish.
• 31:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay.
• 31:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're getting any gifts for anybody, or if you want to get anybody a gift, we still have hats or not always to jay on the side.
• 31:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, that's not going to arrive anywhere into a room.
• 31:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, Ali doesn't want anybody to have hats, so never mind.
• 31:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm saying like, we should just say that way before.
• 31:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, there's still there.
• 31:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: The hats are still there, so.
• 31:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's still there.
• 31:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Season two hats, vintage WT2.
• 31:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're about to be done with season four.
• 31:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you want to give anybody a new year's gift, there's hats.
• 31:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nobody gets anybody new year's gifts.
• 31:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, Ali really don't want you guys to get these hats.
• 31:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, bye guys.
• 31:59
  [UNKNOWN]: Thank you.