Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why do some narcissists disappear?

Transcript

Why do some narcissists disappear? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Today we're going to be talking about why some narcissists just
• 0:05
  up and disappear out of your life.
• 0:08
  Why do they disappear and not come back?
• 0:09
  Or maybe they'll come back later on.
• 0:11
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:12
  I'm a self aware narcissist and welcome to another episode of
• 0:15
  The Narcissist Code and action.
• 0:35
  I'm going to be integrating this into my my new intro here pretty
• 0:39
  soon. Y'all I'm going to see this Lee
• 0:41
  Hammock narcissist code action. But yes, why do some narcissist
• 0:46
  just disappear out of your life? If y'all see me holding my mic,
• 0:50
  yes, I'm holding it my mic staying broke.
• 0:53
  I got a good life on it. I had a good life, you know how
• 0:56
  to put it down. How to put it down.
• 0:58
  But yeah, some narcissistic people will disappear on you.
• 1:00
  Y'all ghost you will vanish on you and into thin air.
• 1:04
  You know, Lee, we were hot and heavy.
• 1:07
  And I do mean hot and heavy, hot and heaviest, hotter and heavier
• 1:13
  than we ever were before. And then all of a sudden out of
• 1:15
  nowhere, they just vanished on me.
• 1:18
  Where the hell did they go, Lee? Where the hell did they go?
• 1:23
  Help me, help me, please, help me, help me, please.
• 1:27
  I tell people, narcissism, narcissistic people are all,
• 1:30
  let's be real. There are some narcissists that
• 1:32
  are already in relationships, some narcissists that are
• 1:36
  already out here in relationships with other people,
• 1:39
  in a committed relationships with other people.
• 1:41
  And you might be the side Boo. You might not.
• 1:44
  You might be their side person. You might be in a a side person
• 1:47
  relationship. You might be the affair partner
• 1:49
  and not even know it. You might be part of this affair
• 1:53
  circle dynamic. Whatever they have going on, you
• 1:55
  might not even know it. And then when they get tired of
• 1:58
  you or when they feel like this side relationship has run its
• 2:01
  course, they go home to their original Boo.
• 2:04
  They go back to their original Boo.
• 2:06
  The person that they are planning on spending their time
• 2:08
  with. They what, they use you as a
• 2:10
  side person and when they get through with you, they get rid
• 2:14
  of you. And that sucks to say 'cause I
• 2:16
  know a lot of people like, well, damn, Lee, I, I don't think that
• 2:19
  they, they had me on the side. But now that you say it, now
• 2:22
  that you say it like that, yeah, they did disappear without a
• 2:24
  trace. Some people are already in
• 2:27
  relationships and then you are the side person.
• 2:30
  They're cheating with you. They're cheating with you,
• 2:33
  right? So they're cheating with you.
• 2:36
  So they disappear on you. They finished like they, they,
• 2:38
  they're done. They're cheat.
• 2:40
  The cheating has run its course. So they're done with you.
• 2:44
  So they retreat back into their own normal, I guess their own
• 2:47
  normal lives. And they disappear for the
• 2:51
  entirety of the they might come back later on, but they
• 2:55
  disappear because they're already in relationships.
• 2:57
  They disappear because they they're done with you.
• 2:59
  They and they don't want you to find out where they went or
• 3:01
  where they go or who they are or what their actual real life is
• 3:04
  like. They've been lying to your ass
• 3:06
  the whole time and they can be hard.
• 3:08
  No, I said, I said in kind of a funny way, but they can be a
• 3:11
  heartbreaking thing to go through when you are feeling
• 3:13
  like you building a life with somebody and they asked vanish
• 3:16
  on you like you don't bought a house.
• 3:17
  You don't, you know, they, you bought a house.
• 3:20
  You didn't sign an apartment lease.
• 3:21
  They didn't put their name on it because they convinced you that
• 3:24
  you know, one person's name is better.
• 3:25
  And then they leave you high and dry with the bills.
• 3:28
  They live a whole different life and they vanish on your ass,
• 3:30
  right? That's one reason that they
• 3:32
  would disappear, right? Another reason that they would
• 3:34
  disappear. Not, not everybody is cheating
• 3:37
  with you, right? Not everybody's cheating with
• 3:40
  you. Some people are cheating on you,
• 3:44
  right? Some people are cheating on you.
• 3:46
  You, you might be the main partner and they might be
• 3:49
  building up a relationship with somebody else, building a life
• 3:52
  with somebody else and they finish with you and they ghost
• 3:55
  you. They disappear on you.
• 3:56
  This happens quite a bit in some of these relationship spaces.
• 3:58
  They will disappear on your ass like out of nowhere.
• 4:02
  They will vanish on you out of nowhere and you'll be like what
• 4:04
  the hell is going on? How did this happen?
• 4:07
  Where did they? Yeah what?
• 4:08
  What did I do to deserve this? And you be mad as hell.
• 4:10
  And you should rightfully so cuz the partner you had and they not
• 4:13
  made that. They might not be cheating on
• 4:15
  you. I mean they might, they might be
• 4:16
  cheating with you. Y'all could be living together,
• 4:18
  whatever. And then they vanish on you even
• 4:20
  if you have kids or not. I've heard these stories before
• 4:23
  where they vanish when they have kids to take care of.
• 4:26
  Years later popped back up. I was lost and I didn't know
• 4:30
  what to do so I just ran away and I was scared of my
• 4:32
  responsibilities. Will you please take me back?
• 4:36
  I know what y'all thinking. Like they personally said hell
• 4:38
  no some people will take them back.
• 4:41
  Hey so we'll take them back. That's what happens.
• 4:44
  So now people take them back into their life no matter how
• 4:45
  bad, how viciously they would discard it, how viciously they
• 4:49
  broke up if they disappeared without without a trace.
• 4:52
  Y'all been raising kids by yourself and all of a sudden
• 4:53
  they popping back out of the out of nowhere.
• 4:55
  You let them back in your life. I've seen it happen a couple, a
• 4:58
  few times. You know, a few times it
• 5:00
  happens. They disappear because they
• 5:02
  disappear because like I said, they've been cheating and they
• 5:03
  built a life with somebody else. Or they disappear because
• 5:07
  they're running like, like I just say part of it.
• 5:09
  They're running away from their responsibilities, They're
• 5:12
  running away from you, They're running away from the kids.
• 5:15
  They're running away from this life that they feel like might
• 5:17
  be overwhelming them in some way, shape or form.
• 5:20
  So they try to get rid of you as well.
• 5:22
  They dip out on you. They're tired of you as well.
• 5:25
  So they bounce on you. They pack their stuff up and
• 5:28
  they dip out and they bounce on your ass.
• 5:29
  This is what narcissistic people do.
• 5:31
  This is what toxic narcissistic people do.
• 5:33
  They bounce, they dip on your ass and they fade to black.
• 5:37
  You know, because they run away from the responsibility.
• 5:39
  They'll I'm tired of OOP responsibilities got to go and
• 5:42
  they bounce on your asses. I hate to say that, but they do.
• 5:45
  They disappear on you because they run away from the
• 5:46
  responsibilities again, sometimes they come back and
• 5:49
  y'all let them back through your life.
• 5:50
  That's something you got to consider.
• 5:52
  I'm not saying consider letting them back into your life.
• 5:54
  I'm saying consider what you doing when you letting them back
• 5:56
  into your life. Were you thinking about?
• 5:57
  I do miss how we used to clap cheek.
• 5:58
  I miss them cheeks. Getting clapped.
• 6:00
  I miss them. Come on back in here, baby.
• 6:02
  Come on back and get these cheek.
• 6:04
  Get these. Get these buns.
• 6:05
  I kept the buns warm for you. I kept the buns on a warming
• 6:08
  rack for you. So come and come and get them.
• 6:11
  What? What?
• 6:14
  This happens too? Well, I'm trying to.
• 6:17
  I kept I kept the buns on a warming rack.
• 6:19
  What the hell am I talking about?
• 6:21
  But that happens, y'all, They will disappear in these spaces
• 6:23
  right here again. But there are some narcissists
• 6:27
  who would disappear on you because they, like, they don't
• 6:29
  even have somebody else. Not every narcissist is, I
• 6:31
  heard, cheating and trying to leave you with somebody else.
• 6:34
  Some of them will leave you, will disappear on you because
• 6:37
  you they've done some bad things to you and the threat of you
• 6:41
  exposing them is high. They'll bounce on your ass.
• 6:43
  They they're just like, OK, I can't control whether or not you
• 6:46
  expose me, but I, you know what I can control?
• 6:49
  I can control my presence here. I'm about my ass is going to
• 6:52
  bounce. Come find me, come find me, come
• 6:55
  see me, come see me and whatnot. Yeah, they'll, they'll do that
• 7:00
  type of stuff right there as well, y'all, They'll, they'll
• 7:02
  keep doing the type of stuff. They will continue to do this
• 7:05
  type of stuff over and over and over again because they feel
• 7:07
  like it benefits them again. Y'all, if they disappear, like
• 7:10
  if they disappear or if they ghost you out of your out of
• 7:13
  your life, do not if you let them back in, y'all, you're
• 7:17
  setting a new precedence. Regardless of why they
• 7:20
  disappear, if you let them come back into your life, they will
• 7:24
  just do it again and again and again.
• 7:26
  And I know so many, so many people just like, well, Lee, I
• 7:28
  just wanted some closure. I wanted, I wanted to ask them
• 7:31
  why they decided to dip out on me.
• 7:33
  I deserve an explanation. OK, You can feel like you
• 7:35
  deserve an explanation, but to let them get back into your life
• 7:39
  and and and smooth it over? No.
• 7:42
  No. Hell no.
• 7:44
  Yeah. It's funny.
• 7:44
  This. Unless they got drafted to war
• 7:47
  and absconded or kidnapped, there's no reasonable reason to
• 7:51
  disappear on you. Like with no trace.
• 7:53
  Unless they're, unless they got dragged into protective custody
• 7:57
  where they had to change their identity and they until a trial
• 8:00
  until they had to testify against a mob boss or something
• 8:03
  like that. And then it when the mob boss
• 8:05
  and all the associates got locked up, they were able to
• 8:07
  assume their real life. And now they loved you so much
• 8:09
  they came back to you. Maybe.
• 8:12
  Maybe. But any other reason to
• 8:15
  disappear with no, with no trace, no goodbye.
• 8:18
  Like a lot of times they disappear on you because they
• 8:20
  want somebody else, right? And if that new relationship or
• 8:23
  a new partner or whatever doesn't work out, they can just
• 8:26
  kind of come back to you. Hey, I've been busy.
• 8:28
  I've been thinking about you so much, dude, and that's why I
• 8:30
  came back to you four years later.
• 8:31
  Four years. Four damn years.
• 8:36
  Come on now, y'all tell me this, this 4, 412344 years, five years
• 8:46
  y'all got to stop letting these these toxic narcissistic
• 8:48
  bastards come back into your damn life.
• 8:49
  Y'all for real? If they disappear on you, I
• 8:51
  don't give a fuck what they say to you.
• 8:54
  Let's keep it real. I don't care what they say to
• 8:56
  you. There's no excuse to disappear
• 8:58
  without a without a trace. They lie.
• 9:00
  Whatever they say to you, they're lying.
• 9:02
  Unless they did a bid and went to jail and couldn't didn't
• 9:05
  remember your phone on by heart or your address.
• 9:07
  OK, but will they go to jail fo you know what I mean?
• 9:10
  That's something to consider as well.
• 9:11
  Like y'all have got to understand this space right here
• 9:15
  that these these narcissistic people, they vanish on you and
• 9:19
  you let them back into your life.
• 9:20
  They'll just do it again because now they think it's OK.
• 9:23
  Like sometimes they just don't want to like another reason that
• 9:25
  they'll disappear on you. They don't have the courage to
• 9:27
  just break up with you or just say goodbye to you.
• 9:30
  So they just get scared, these scared cowardice ass bastards
• 9:33
  and they'll just disappear on you.
• 9:34
  They'll ghost you because they're scared to just say this
• 9:37
  isn't working out. I don't I, I don't know.
• 9:39
  If this is the right path for me or us blah blah blah.
• 9:43
  Well, I don't know what to do. Where the hell did where, where
• 9:45
  do we go from here? I really don't know.
• 9:48
  Like come on now y'all, sooner or later we gotta get to this
• 9:52
  space and whatnot where we are taking back our power.
• 9:55
  You are taking back your power. Stop.
• 9:58
  I don't care if they like they, if they're too cowardice to tell
• 10:00
  you goodbye or to break up with you, they don't deserve to be
• 10:03
  part of your life anyway. Why the why the hell you want a
• 10:05
  coward in your life or they're going to protect you or they're
• 10:08
  going to provide for you. They don't give you anything.
• 10:09
  Hell no. You want a scared ass bastard in
• 10:11
  your life? Hell no.
• 10:13
  Hell no. I'm sorry.
• 10:14
  This video got me worked up a little bit.
• 10:16
  Yeah, I just got, I don't know, my throat hurt a little bit.
• 10:19
  I got COVID, got throat pain. That throat throat is tender
• 10:27
  right now. But hopefully we'll be done with
• 10:31
  this in the next few days. You know, COVID, you know,
• 10:33
  whatever, but don't let these people come out to your life.
• 10:37
  You deserve better. But we can look, you can say
• 10:39
  that you deserve better all you want to, but until you actually
• 10:42
  go out there and get better until you actually go out there
• 10:44
  and do better until you actually go out there and achieve better,
• 10:47
  this toxic narcissistic bastards will keep becoming ghosting,
• 10:50
  disappear, reappear, disappear, reappear, disappear, reappear
• 10:53
  until you just like look, stay ghost, stay gone damn until
• 10:58
  look. It doesn't end until you end it
• 11:00
  or, or, or they disappear you for good and you're you're
• 11:04
  anticipating them anticipating them coming back later and they
• 11:07
  never show up, usually sitting around waiting around for them
• 11:10
  to come back and they never knew.
• 11:12
  So again, y'all know it's not fair all the time, but it does
• 11:14
  fall onto you. Anyway, y'all let me cut this
• 11:17
  thing short. I appreciate everybody tuning
• 11:19
  in. I appreciate everybody tuning in
• 11:21
  and whatnot. Make sure you haven't already
• 11:23
  subscribe to this channel. Turn on those dango
• 11:26
  notifications and then also check out my support groups and
• 11:29
  whatnot at courses.mentalillness.net.
• 11:32
  Check it out, check it out check it out.
• 11:34
  Subscribe to this channel. My very first in person
• 11:37
  workshop, December, November, September 14th, Washington DC in
• 11:44
  person live and in person Link will be pinned in the comment
• 11:46
  section and in the comment section and in the description
• 11:50
  of every video and podcast we do.
• 11:51
  Anyway, y'all like and subscribe.
• 11:54
  Mental illness is out. Thank you so much for making it
• 11:57
  to the end of my video. I'm extremely grateful for you.
• 12:00
  Have no idea. If you haven't already, make
• 12:02
  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
• 12:03
  Helps reach more people and click on the screen to watch
• 12:06
  another video or to browse to another playlist.
• 12:08
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 12:10
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
• 12:13
  you've been through. Thank you so much again.