Latest / The James Granstrom Podcast - Super Soul Model series / Embracing the Magic of Surrender and Living Your Truth with Kute Blackson

Transcript

Embracing the Magic of Surrender and Living Your Truth with Kute Blackson · The James Granstrom Podcast - Super Soul Model series

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: In this episode I'm speaking to transformational teacher and best-selling author, coot Blackson.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Coot's appeared across many different TV shows across the USA and he's here on this show sharing with us the magic of surrender.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Surrender is when you stop trying to force and manipulate life to fit your limited idea of how you think it should be and what you think it should look like, so that you can take the limitations off of life.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the James Granstrom podcast Super Soul Model series, where I help people tune and tap in to their natural state of well-being.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: This week's guest is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: He's the author of best-selling books you Are the One and the Magic of Surrender.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: He's widely considered the next generational leader in personal development and his mission is to awaken, inspire and help people on their mission to live authentically.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: He's been featured on so many TV shows, but what I like to call him is our very own super soul model this week.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: So welcome to the show.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Coop Blackson, Thanks for having me.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Absolute joy to have you.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: So, Coop, tell us a little bit about your story, because you're helping thousands upon thousands of people change and transform their lives.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: You've written these two books you Are the One and the Magic of Surrender.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: What brought you to this place?
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I?
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: was born in Ghana, west Africa, my father's from Ghana, my mother's Japanese.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: I grew up in London.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: So for me I've always, you know, as a young boy, there was always a question for me in terms of okay, where am I from?
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: And I didn't feel like I was from Ghana, I didn't feel like I was from the UK, I didn't feel like I was Japanese, I felt like I was from everywhere and nowhere.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: And so that, I think, inspired a deep questioning from a very young age who am I?
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: And so that, I think, was the first question that drove me on the spiritual path.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: And as a young boy, my first memories were kind of interesting.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: My first memories as a young boy, my first memories were kind of interesting.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: My first memories as a young boy, I remember seeing a crippled woman crawling on the floor and she picks up the sand that this man walked on, wiped it on her face and stood up.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: And so, week after week, I grew up seeing blind people see and deaf people hear, and people stand up out of wheelchairs.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: What country were you in at this stage?
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: By the way, this was in the UK, in the UK.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: And what part of the UK did you grow up?
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: in South London.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: I grew up in Clapham, Brixton, Wandsworth, and then Fenton.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I know that area because that's where I've lived for like 20 years at some point.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: And so for me, my childhood was a bit unusual because I grew up around these miracles, but I didn't think anything of it.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I didn't think anything unusual of it because it's all I knew.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: You know, the same man whose sand this woman picked up would look at a woman in a wheelchair and say, hey, why are you in this wheelchair?
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Stand up.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: And he would touch them and they would stand up and they would start walking.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: People would come in with walking crutches and the same man would look at this person with crutches and say, throw your crutches away.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: This man was my father.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: He built 300 churches in Ghana, west Africa, huge, hundreds of thousands of followers.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: A huge church in London at his height in the 80s I don't know if you know the the Wandsworth, right next to Wandsworth Town Hall, was a bingo hall and it was a huge bingo hall on Wandsworth High Street.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: And so we took over the bingo hall and four to 5,000 people every, literally every Sunday, and he built a huge church.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: My father was like a considered a miracle man of Africa, a very mystical, spiritual, enlightened type of figure, and so that's how I grew up, and so at age eight, I began speaking in my father's churches when I was 14.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Did he get you up there?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Did he say, off, you go, son, get up there and say something.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: How did it happen?
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: It wasn't even like that, it was more like at eight years old I was more interested in playing soccer Cool.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: You were a child right, you were a kid.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: You wouldn't have much.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: I was more interested in being naughty, and so they didn't think that was a good idea.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: They literally cornered me, put me on the front row of the church and I would just fall asleep, and one Sunday they just literally threw me on stage and they said my dad said speak, and that began my speaking, and I don't really know what happened other than words started to come out of my mouth.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I don't really remember what happened, other than things started to emerge.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: It was like I was channeling, and that began my relationship to a deeper connection with something, an intelligence, consciousness, the divine, the universe that I was really not able to quantify or explain.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: But from age eight, that also, you could say, started my spiritual path in a very intentional way, because that's when I really began questioning, like, who am I, why am I here, what's the purpose of life, what the hell is happening to me?
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: And so I would sneak into my father's office and he had literally a thousand books on his bookshelf and I would start.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I started reading his books.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: I started devouring these books, everyone from the Eastern mystics, people like Krishnamurti and Osho and Ramana Maharishi, to Wayne Dyer, deepak Chopra, marianne Williamson, you know, louise Hay.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: And so from eight to 18, I probably read 800 books in the sort of realm and field of personal development, self-help, spirituality, psychology, and that began.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: That began my journey.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: But when I was 14, it was a very pivotal moment in my life.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: And when I was 14, I was actually ordained as a minister and my father announced to the congregation one Sunday my son is taking over, he's my successor.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Everybody was happy but me, and my entire life was basically carved out and planned out and set out for me by everyone else, except you, yep.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: And I was too afraid to speak my truth.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: I was too afraid to tell my father how I felt.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: I think, like many of us, we allow fear to hijack us.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: We allow fear to limit our full expression and our authenticity and our voice.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: My fear was if I dare to speak my truth, then I'm going to be outcast.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: If I dare to speak my truth, I'm going to lose my father's love.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: If I dare to speak my truth, then I'm going to be alone.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: And so I said nothing for four years and it took me four years to really go through a deep internal introspection and questioning and grieving and letting go, because by the time I turned 17 and a half 18,.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: I had to make a choice, as you know, finishing A-levels, going to university.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I projected into my future and I had to make some decisions.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: I chose not to go to university and I looked into my future.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: I saw that I could follow the expected path for my life.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I could take over my father's organization.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: And as I projected to age 20, age 30, age 40, age 50, age 60, as I projected into my future, I saw that even if I became successful by the world standards, by my father's standards, if I don't have myself, if I don't have my truth, if I don't have my soul, my own integrity, what kind of success is that?
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: And I felt my soul calling me to come to America.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: And I think sometimes what your soul guides you to do doesn't always make sense.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: It never makes sense.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Q.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: It never makes sense.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: That's how I found myself in Spain.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I never planned on coming here.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: My parents immigrated here and I looked after my, my family when they weren't well and when my father made his transition, I decided that I still feel like this place is calling me to stay, and going back to London didn't feel right.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: So, very much like anybody on this mission, when they're starting to get that soul call, as I like to call it, you know the universe is ringing.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Are you going to listen?
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Are you going to pick it up and say what's your truth, what's your authenticity?
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Does this feel right to you?
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, I love the way Matthew McConaughey says it.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: It says you've either got soul credits or soul debits, and when you don't speak your truth, it's like you're only putting soul debits out there.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: And you know it just sounds to me that that trip taking moving to America for you was just like yeah, please bank, I want to bank that soul bank, that soul of mine.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: So you followed the path to the States and what happened?
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Well, I had to have a conversation with my father.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: And how did that conversation go?
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Well, I had to have a conversation with my father, and how did that conversation go.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: Well, when I really chose to, I really feel as though, when you listen to your soul, you'll always end up in the right place in the right time, doing the right thing with the right people, even though the route that you take may not be the one that you most expect.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: And so I realized I had to have this conversation and face my fears and cut a long story short.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I had the conversation at 18.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: We didn't speak for two years.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: After that cut an even longer story short, which we can get into, but I ended up winning a green card in the green card lottery and that's what enabled me 55,000 people basically win a green card in the green card lottery out of millions of applicants and I won.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: And that was, for me, confirmation that I was on the right path.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: And that's when I really felt the support of life, the support of the universe.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: And so, as an 18 year old kid, with $1,000, maybe actually $800 in my pocket no, no one in the us two suitcases and a green card uh showed up in in los angeles and went and found mentors and teachers and many of the authors I'd read about, studied with some of them, learned from some of them.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: yeah and, uh, that's what brought me to, to america I have to say I love your story because I I can resonate with your story because I've won stuff so many times and I'm like, wow, how this comes about.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I call this the green lights of life.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I'm always sort of talking about it on this podcast the green lights and how to tune in.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: So you keep receiving these green lights by keep following your soul, by keep following what feels right for you.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: So anyone who's listening in like what you're saying is it sounds like almost miraculous, it sounds magical, but actually it's just following what feels right for you, and what's right for you might not be right for someone else.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: So that's a really bold move of you.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: But it's nice to have that foundation behind you to get that green card.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: So that gives you a bit of humor and a bit of life going.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I'm lucky, I'm supported, I'm blessed, I'm worthy and if I follow this, more good stuff's got to happen.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: So okay, so you got the green card.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Then what happened?
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I got the green card.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I came to America following my soul.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I mean I got the green card, I came to America following my soul.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: So much happened for me.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I went and found many of the mentors and the teachers and authors I'd studied with, and then again, it's a long story so we can dissect it in different ways, but, in a nutshell, I reached a point in my journey where I felt as though things weren't working.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: I reached a point in my journey where I felt as though things weren't working.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: I reached a point in my journey where I felt as though I reached a dead end.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: I reached a point in my journey where I felt like I had, I had reached the end of my own ego's capacity to manifest my life and I kind of gave up.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: When I say gave up, I surrendered, and in that that led me to travel.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: I was tired of reading the books, I was tired of studying other teachers, I was tired of reading Deepak and Tony Robbins and Zig Ziglar and Mark Victor Hansen.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: I wanted to know truth for myself, and so that's what took me to walk the Camino in northern Spain.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: I said, basically said a prayer one day, when everything fell apart, broke up with my girlfriend, a TV project that I was pursuing at a young age kind of fell apart and I said to the universe like I don't know what, what to do with my life anymore.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm supposed like, I have no idea, I surrender.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: And I was guided to walk the Camino.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: The Camino is a 900 kilometer trek in northern Spain, and so it's a walk.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: It's a spiritual walk that people like Dante and Chaucer and Francis of Assisi have done.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: It's on an energetic vortex line, a very powerful walk.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: And so I did this walk and that took me to Spain, which then took me to Thailand, which then took me to Israel, which then took me to India.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: And I spent about four months in India, and for me it was my time in India where I had certain awakenings and a deeper experience of my true nature and my purpose and why I was on the planet.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: And that's what brought me back to America again and with a new vision 20-some years ago to coach people and guide people.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: This is before coaching was a popular thing, this is before social media, and I started just from a sincere desire to help people, coaching people one-on-one, no idea what I was doing, but soon started to develop my own way of working with people.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: That really transformed lives and before I knew it, people were flying from around the world to work with me one-on-one, and that just evolved into small groups and large groups and larger events and seminars and two best-selling books.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: So that's the short version.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I think that what's really relatable for people is just that you know, some people are at crossroads, some people just don't know what to do.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: You can read a lot of personal development.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: You can read a lot of spiritual books.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I know I've read literally thousands.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I've devoured everything in the last 20-odd years.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: You know I've been on my wake up since the year 2000 at least, and after a couple of near-death experiences you start to ask a couple of questions.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: There's got to be a little bit more to life than just what meets the eye For someone listening in.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: You know, I think you know particularly what I like about your book, the Magic of Surrender.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I think that this is a really important part and I like to come back to this surrender over and over again and I would like to really talk about surrender a little bit.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Let's do it Because I think that this is really helpful, because it's like a letting go time and time again of things that you know.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you try to control everything, but there's a bigger picture or a bigger hand helping you.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Very much like that hand that gave you the green card saying this is the right way, this is the right way Come.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Much like that hand that gave you the green card saying this is the right way.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: This is the right way.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Come this way, come this way, come this way.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: So if someone's having a challenge right now and everybody somewhere is having some type of challenge, how could they surrender into that, to a greater power, to tap into their inner guidance, to tap into the universe, tap into life itself?
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: What practical thing could they apply?
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: We have to set a context for what we mean by surrender, because I think when we just say surrender, for a lot of people they'll have their own interpretation or connotation of what surrender means.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: And if, without a certain framework, we're having 50 different conversations?
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Because I think many times there's so many misconceptions about surrender, this idea that surrender is weak or giving up or waving the white flag, or that if I surrender I'm going to be a doormat or taken advantage of, or it just means sitting there and doing nothing and just watching television, or the universe is going to bring everything to me, or if I surrender, I won't manifest my goals, dreams and desires, if I surrender I'm going to get less in life.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: And I'm actually saying no.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: If you really understand the true meaning and the true essence of what surrender is, what if you didn't get less in life?
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: But what if you actually got more?
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: More than you could have planned, more than you could have imagined, more than you could have intended, with the limitation of your conscious mind?
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: And so when we say surrender at least when I say surrender, I mean it is a letting go of control, or I should say the illusion that you were even in control in the first place.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: To me, control is the master addiction.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Surrender is when you stop trying to force and manipulate life to fit your limited idea of how you think it should be and what you think it should look like, so that you can take the limitations off of life and be open and be available to allowing life to show you, allowing life in its intelligence to reveal itself to you.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: And I think many of us, if we look at the best things, if we really look at the best things in life that have happened to us, the really best things, most of it we didn't plan, most of it we didn't sit there and sketch out every detail.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: A lot of it just kind of happened in the process of living life itself.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: And so surrender is a letting go.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: It's when you take the limitations off of life and you're available and you're open and you're receptive.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: And I think that's where the magic is.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: If you look at the really great ones a Jesus, a Buddha, a Gandhi, a Mother Teresa, a Mandela, jesus, a Buddha, a Gandhi, a Mother Teresa, a Mandela, martin Luther King, a Bruce Lee, a Muhammad Ali at some point they all surrendered, they all let go of their idea of who they thought they should be.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: They all let go and maybe sometimes life fell apart.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Maybe Mandela went to prison for 27 years, which seemed like the worst thing.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: But many times, if you think about what if he didn't go to prison?
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: What if he didn't go through that experience?
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: What if shit didn't hit the fan and life didn't fall apart, would he have ended up?
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Would they have ended up how they ended up, or would the story have been very different?
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: And so often, when we go through these seemingly challenging, difficult, dark nights of the soul, negative experiences, things not working out, it seems like the worst thing from the perspective of our mind, from the perspective of our personality and ego seems like the worst thing.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: But often from our limited perspective, we're not able to see the entire picture.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: And sometimes things need to fall apart to make room for the next level, to make room for the new opportunity, to make room for the new blessing, to make room for the right partner and the right soulmate.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: And so I think that surrender is the most powerful thing that we can do.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: If you look at the great ones, they all surrendered and in that surrender they transcended their human limitations and I think they were able to tap into another dimension of life, and that's when life was able to manifest through them, life was able to create through them, life was able to use them in ways that they couldn't have imagined.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: So, if you look at the old paradigm, which is more about what I call the ego-based model for creating life, paradigm, which is more about what I call the ego-based model for creating life, which is control, which is more about know what you want, get clear on what you want and go make it happen, and I think there is a level of that seems like a Newtonian essence.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Right, that's a Newtonian version.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: If you look at so much of self-help, it's all like get clear on what you want, know what you want, set your goals, go, make, go.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Make it happen.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Now there is a level of effectiveness in that, but I always I really believe that life will still be limited to a degree, because it's minuscule in comparison with what you can do when you actually stop releasing resistance because at some point you might get everything that you thought you wanted, and we've all had this experience.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: You might get everything you thought you wanted, only to realize that what you thought you wanted was not what you really wanted.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: It was just what you thought you wanted, based on who you thought you were.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: So if you're not in touch with who you really are, then often our goals and dreams can be projections of unmet needs.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: And so, for me, part of surrender and there's two things I'll share in response to your question part of surrender is not asking the question what do I want?
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Part of surrender is asking a different question, and part of that question is what is it that life is seeking to express through me?
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: What is it that the universe is seeking to manifest through me?
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: What is it that the universe is seeking to create through me?
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: And when you can become available and receptive and listen and be open to that deeper impulse of what life is seeking to create and express and manifest through you, so that you can catch that vision, then you can align your personality and your mind and your ego in alignment with that deeper impulse, that deeper intuition, that deeper guidance, that deeper expression of your soul, then you can sort of set your goals and your strategy and your plan and your resources to support the fulfillment of what you're feeling in terms of your deepest truth, and so that's one thing I feel like there's purpose.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: That comes through that as well.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Right, your purpose, like literally, is shining through when you're asking that question, you know, what does the universe seek to express itself through me?
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: That's such a beautiful question, right, because it means that it's not your way.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: You know, you used to laugh it's my way or the highway.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: That's usually what my parents would say um, but when it's like what?
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: What does the universe want to express through me?
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: I think that's just a beautiful way that somebody who's in a challenging position might think I've tried all these things, I'm trying my life, I'm working really hard at it and I don't seem to feel fulfilled.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: And I I often find, when I look into my own experience of like discontent.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: It was like when I was feeling discontent, it was because it was always trying to be what can I get, what can I accumulate, rather than?
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Dissatisfaction is a sign of growth.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: So if you're feeling discontent, I would say congratulations, you are growing, you're growing, you're growing, you're actually evolving, because you know, when you're a child you're content with playing with toys, but at a certain point you start growing up and the things that used to please you and that you used to be content with no longer are fulfilling.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: So the fact that you're discontent, for me, is a sign that you have outgrown the level that you're discontent for me is a sign that you have outgrown the level that you've been.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: The challenge is when many of us, when we feel discontent, we are scared of that feeling, and so we try to avoid that feeling.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: We distract ourselves from that feeling.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: We're like oh shit, what does this mean?
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: And so we drink it away, smoke it away, drug it away, sex it away, just so that we don't have to feel that discontent.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: And so to me, if we can acknowledge the discontent and feel the discontent and tell the truth to ourselves about the discontent, I would say feel the discontent, feel it, be with it and let that discontent move you in a direction.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Let that discontent move you beyond that to ask the deeper question in terms of who am I and what's real and what is it that's seeking to happen.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: So, to me, dissatisfaction is not bad.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: It's just a sign that you're outgrown.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Your current level and the next level of your life requires the next level of you, and the next level of you requires that you let go of what is no longer aligned, the challenges.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: As human beings, we tend to hold on to what's no longer working, out of familiarity, out of comfort, out of safety, and and that simply blocks our blessing I'm always, I'm always conscious of that.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Because why do?
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: Why do human beings, you know, like sometimes I look into my own experience as well it's like well, why do we like to hold on to the familiar?
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: out of fear, out of fear so it's always fear, so there's always two emotions you've got love and fear yeah, I would say the ego doesn't want to control the ego, or I should say the ego, that which we mistakenly perceive ourselves to be based on mind, body, name, form, belief systems, past stories, experiences, memories, traumas.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: You know from the past the sense of identification and the way in which we hold on to ourselves and what we perceive of ourselves.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: That sense of holding an identity and identification is ego ourselves.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: That sense of holding an identity and identification is ego and ego.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: The ego's job is to protect you from getting hurt like you were hurt when you were young, like you were hurt when you were five, like you were hurt when you were 15 and 12 and eight and nine, and 10 and seven.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: What have you?
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: So the ego's job is to protect you from getting hurt and the ego's job is to reinforce its existence.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: So when we talk about surrender, when we talk about letting go, when we talk about opening to the new for the ego, that is terrifying, because surrender and letting go and the new for the ego feels like a death.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: And so the ego is constantly seeking to control, to protect you.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Because if I stay with what I know, if I stay with who I've been, then at least I know what is and at least I know I have some level of control.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: But if I open to the new, the new possibilities, the new question, the new relationship, the new love, even if it's good for me, I'm moving into the realm of the unknown, which requires that I let go and I'm not in control anymore.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: And so the ego doesn't want to change.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: The ego wants everything and everyone else to change.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: It wants to stay the same, and that's a way that the ego tends to reinforce itself and stay safe.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: So holding on is a well-intended strategy and protection mechanism of the ego to keep us safe.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: So if someone is needing to let go of something that's unhealthy for one reason or another, how do they do that?
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: I think if you're in a situation where you're stuck, where you're blocked, where things aren't working, where you're not happy you're stuck where you're blocked, where things aren't working, where you're not happy One of the first places that you can start to keep it simple is or, I would say, one of the things that tends to keep us stuck are all the ways that we lie to ourselves.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: As human beings, we do not tell ourselves the truth, we live in denial.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: We lie to ourselves, we stay in relationships that don't work.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: We work jobs that we hate.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: We say yes when we mean no.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: We betray ourselves to get love, validation and approval.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: So, to truly shift your life, there is no transformation, there is no breakthrough, there is no next level without the truth.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: And so if you're able to just come to the point of telling yourself the truth number one what lies am I telling myself Sounds simple, but not always easy.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Like what lies am I telling myself?
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: What am I pretending to not know?
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: What is it costing me?
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: And often we're afraid of telling ourselves the truth because we're afraid of the consequence of what will happen if we speak the truth.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: So I tell people just take the pressure off of yourself of having to even take any action and just acknowledge the truth.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: And the truth might sound like I'm not happy.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: The truth might sound like I hate my job.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: The truth might sound like and you don't have to leave your job.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: The truth might sound like I hate my job.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: The truth might sound like and you don't have to leave your job.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: The truth might sound like I'm not in love with my wife or my husband.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: I haven't been in love for five years.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: The truth might sound like I have an alcohol problem.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: And just to start with the truth, to me it's the truth that sets us free.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: You can't really shift something or change something unless you acknowledge where you're at.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's like total awareness, right, it's awareness of where you're at, and I think that that helps with a little self introspection.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: But, like then, I sort of like to go.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I love to you know, know, love to give my audience this, because the audience is so smart, they like to go.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Well, okay, I'm aware of that.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Now what?
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: How do I actually let go of something that isn't right for me?
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Is there a way in which I can do it?
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: you speak your truth well, I'm not saying it's you speak your truth if you stop bullshitting yourself and you start telling the truth to yourself.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: And as simple as most of us, we are constantly lying to ourselves.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: If you really acknowledge the truth to yourself, that is huge, because that will lead to you feeling certain feelings, and many times we don't acknowledge the truth so we don't truly feel what's underneath that.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: And sometimes you know, to truly surrender and let go is a death, and what we have to allow ourselves to is to acknowledge the truth and to feel the pain or the grief.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: You cannot truly, truly let go until you come to acceptance and then you come to a moment of feeling, let's just say the grief.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: To allow yourself to really grieve is grieving that allows you to let go.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: You can't really let go fully unless you allow yourself to grieve fully.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: You can't fully release something or someone truly from your heart and move on.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: You might let go physically, but you won't be able to move on emotionally unless you really allow yourself to grieve.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: And so I think one stage that's really important is to allow yourself to feel the grieving, the death, the grieving that comes with that, and I think that's a step as well.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Beautiful, so it's keep finding more and more joy by following this path.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: You know, as I evolve I'll say it this way as I evolve, and the deeper I go, because for me, life is a constant process of surrender, it's a continual process of deeper levels of surrendering to the truth of what I am, which I think we all are at a deeper level of oneness.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: So, as I evolve, it's interesting because the more I evolve, the less choice I feel I have.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: Let me repeat the more I evolve, the less choice I feel I have, the freer I feel I have.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Let me repeat the more I evolve, the less choice I feel I have, the freer I feel.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: Is that because you're allowing the energy to come through?
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: Because the less ego, the less holding on, the less I, the less cuteness there is, the more life flows.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: And so the deeper I evolve, the less choice I feel I have, and I think it happens for all of us the more we evolve.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: The things that you used to be able to do and the certain decisions that you used to be able to, I'll go here, I'll do this, I'll do that even if it may not be in alignment, but I want to do that.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: You're just not able to do as much.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: It just doesn't resonate and it's not as in alignment.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: And so for me, as I've gone deeper, it's coming into a deeper alignment with the natural flow of life.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: That life is coming into deeper alignment with nature as it flows.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: And so for me that's opened up a deeper freedom, uh, a deeper freedom in life, because the less I feel as though I, as an individual self, am the doer, the less I feel like as an individual construct is making my life happen.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: And so what is opened up is a deeper freedom to witness life in its amazingness, to witness life in its intelligence happening.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: And so, as I let go and surrender and I really feel less and less that I am the doer and I really feel less and less that I am the doer.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: I'm seeing life happen.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being on the show this week and sharing your wisdom, your knowledge and your life story.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: And it can be tricky for us to let go, but there's something beautiful when we do and I just wanted to say, for all those who want to know more about you, tell us a little bit about your Bali Bliss experience, because I know you're doing this, sure, yeah Well, first I would just encourage everyone to get the book the Magic of Surrender, and then, for those that perhaps want to go deeper, my most powerful work and experience is an event called Boundless Bliss, the Bali Breakthrough Experience.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: It's a 12-day experience, an experiential seminar, training without walls in Bali, and I've done this event for 12 years, done 22 events.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: We take 18 people at a time and it's a deep dive, transformational immersion.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: And so, if you're someone, you feel you're ready for the next level of your life, you're ready to heal, you're ready to transform, you're ready to transform, you feel as though you've been put on the planet for a purpose that is bigger than yourself and you're ready to share your gifts with the world.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: I create the 12-day experience that is designed to help you become aware of the patterns and the layers of your conditioning and to help free you from the layers of conditioning so that you can really find your power and share your, share, your gifts.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: And so the next event is july, the 20th through the 31st uh, that's in in a few months in bali, uh, www.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Boundless bliss balicom.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: That's boundless bliss balicom.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: I'll have that link there, so you definitely go and check that out if you're interested in cute work, because cute share some absolutely incredible wisdom and if you like what you've heard today in the conversation, cute will make sure you go to your deeper levels, no doubt.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: And what a beautiful place to do it.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: Awesome cute blacks and this week's super soul model.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much indeed.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Thanks for tuning into this episode and if you've enjoyed this or any of the others, please remember you can support the show and your contributions do allow us to keep bringing you the best guests.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: In the meantime, till the next episode, I wish you green lights all the way.