Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - Injuries for Losers?
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Boom! Shakalaka!
- 0:03Speaker 2: It's hour number three as we waltz through life, pathetically
- 0:08Speaker 2: promoting the fifth hour podcast until you run out of
- 0:12Speaker 2: patience in honor of our new home in Baltimore radio.
- 0:15Speaker 3: We brought in Mel Proctor, a former Oriole broadcaster, also
- 0:20Speaker 3: called Games of the Washington Bullets. A lot of his
- 0:23Speaker 3: career spent in the Washington, D.C. area called Clipper Games.
- 0:26Speaker 3: I've befriended Mel over the years. He'll join us to
- 0:29Speaker 3: tell some old stories on the Fifth Hour podcast. And
- 0:32Speaker 3: here in hour number three, did Jerry Jones sell out
- 0:36Speaker 3: the Cowboys by giving a home game to Rio de Janeiro?
- 0:40Speaker 3: Is Bucs quarterback Baker Mayfield taking accountability or hiding behind
- 0:45Speaker 3: the safest cliche in football with his latest comments? And
- 0:49Speaker 3: in Motown, is defensive coordinator Kelvin Shepard right that talking
- 0:55Speaker 3: about Detroit's injuries is for losers? We'll discuss that and more.
- 0:59Speaker 3: Settle in. It's our number three. It is a travel
- 1:05Speaker 3: tale for.
- 1:07Speaker 1: All to complain about.
- 1:08Speaker 3: You need something to complain about in life, and here's
- 1:10Speaker 3: another thing to complain about. Welcome in the beginning of another,
- 1:18Speaker 3: yet another hour of the Ben Maller Show.
- 1:21Speaker 1: We are in the air everywhere.
- 1:27Speaker 3: As we Together, sculpt our takes, and we make sure
- 1:34Speaker 3: to rock on, coast to coast, border to border, and beyond,
- 1:40Speaker 3: on the vast and dynamically powerful microphones of FSR emanating live.
- 1:50Speaker 1: We'll do it live.
- 1:53Speaker 3: The inside, thinking inside the mystical and magical radio box.
- 1:59Speaker 3: Guaranteed human from the world-famous Fox Sports Radio Studios.
- 2:04Speaker 1: We're the number one burner account. That's right. Reach out, say, hey, listen,
- 2:09Speaker 1: give me the bull.
- 2:10Speaker 3: I said, okay, I will give you the bull because
- 2:13Speaker 3: you want that, and so does Tree from Chicago. So
- 2:16Speaker 3: we will give you guys the bull.
- 2:20Speaker 1: Why not?
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- 2:33Speaker 3: Webull Financial, LLC, member SIPC, FINRA. Investing involves risk. For
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- 2:45Speaker 1: That's right.
- 2:46Speaker 3: So our lead story this hour, not the Thursday night
- 2:50Speaker 3: Island game, which was a rout, if you didn't see it,
- 2:54Speaker 3: not the team that was favored, the other team, the
- 2:57Speaker 3: Atlanta Falcons.
- 2:59Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. Must be a full moon this weekend.
- 3:03Speaker 3: As the Atlanta Falcons end up winning the game, it
- 3:06Speaker 3: was not close. A blowout as Green Bay, bad to
- 3:10Speaker 3: the bone.
- 3:11Speaker 1: Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad to the bone. Those once
- 3:15Speaker 1: proud Green Bay Packers.
- 3:16Speaker 3: Our lead this hour, though, is from a team that
- 3:19Speaker 3: was good before many people were alive. And that would
- 3:23Speaker 3: be the Dallas Cowboys. But we go to Brazil because
- 3:27Speaker 3: that's the story. Jerry Jones being blasted by some factions
- 3:31Speaker 3: of the media for surrendering a Dallas home game to
- 3:36Speaker 3: play Baltimore in Brazil. And that's going to take place
- 3:41Speaker 3: this weekend. as that'll be the big game over on CBS.
- 3:45Speaker 3: So if you didn't see this, or maybe you missed it,
- 3:48Speaker 3: so Dallas is listed as the home team, even though
- 3:52Speaker 3: it's a neutral site game. They gave up a game
- 3:55Speaker 3: at AT & T Stadium, and some factions of the media, clicks,
- 4:00Speaker 3: are arguing that Jerry Jones effed up, created a competitive disadvantage,
- 4:06Speaker 3: bad job by him.
- 4:07Speaker 1: Instead of facing Lamar Jackson.
- 4:10Speaker 3: In Jerry's world, in Arlington, the Cowboys will travel this
- 4:14Speaker 3: weekend 10-plus hours for a neutral site game in Rio. Now,
- 4:20Speaker 3: the criticism is essentially this. Jerry Jones prioritizing the Cowboys'
- 4:24Speaker 3: global dominance, business branding, international exposure, trying to get that
- 4:32Speaker 3: Brazil money over maximizing the football advantage of having nine
- 4:38Speaker 3: scheduled home.
- 4:39Speaker 1: Games this season.
- 4:41Speaker 3: All right, so that is a good jumping-off point. Before
- 4:45Speaker 3: we sink into oblivion, let's discuss the question, did Jerry
- 4:50Speaker 3: Jones sell out the Cowboys by giving a home game
- 4:55Speaker 3: to Rio de Janeiro? So I've got my take on this.
- 5:00Speaker 3: I've got Magellan, Veggies, and Cholula. And we'll combine all
- 5:09Speaker 3: of these things together, and we are going to take
- 5:12Speaker 3: a ride on the wild side. So to lead off here,
- 5:17Speaker 3: this take that Jerry Jones sold out the Cowboys by
- 5:21Speaker 3: giving up a home game is a hot take felony.
- 5:27Speaker 3: It is a hot take felony. Now, you want to
- 5:29Speaker 3: criticize Jerry Jones, fine. I've made my entire career out
- 5:33Speaker 3: of criticizing Jerry Jones. There is a large warehouse filled,
- 5:39Speaker 3: filled to the brim with material when it comes to
- 5:43Speaker 3: taking shots at Jerry Jones.
- 5:44Speaker 1: This ain't it. This ain't it.
- 5:47Speaker 3: Jerry Jones has done more than any other owner in
- 5:50Speaker 3: the NFL to keep cowboy football.
- 5:53Speaker 1: In America, to keep these games on U.S.
- 5:56Speaker 4: Soil.
- 5:56Speaker 3: And one time he moves a game to Brazil and
- 6:01Speaker 3: is like, oh, he doesn't care about the Cowboys winning.
- 6:03Speaker 3: That's such a bad take. That's like the worst take
- 6:06Speaker 3: I've heard. And there's a lot of bad takes. The
- 6:09Speaker 3: Cowboys over the years have successfully avoided having to use
- 6:14Speaker 3: a passport to to go play abroad. In fact, Jerry Jones,
- 6:20Speaker 3: Dallas Cowboys, where do you think they rank among the
- 6:24Speaker 3: teams that have played abroad since the year 2000, the
- 6:27Speaker 3: last generation of the NFL?
- 6:30Speaker 1: Is it true.
- 6:32Speaker 3: That the Dallas Cowboys have played the fewest, the fewest
- 6:35Speaker 3: NFL international games since the year 2000? Is it also
- 6:40Speaker 3: true that that number of games the Cowboys have played
- 6:43Speaker 3: overseas is only one, only one game, just one time
- 6:48Speaker 3: the Cowboys have done this?
- 6:50Speaker 1: So the football decision is absolutely correct. Right.
- 6:56Speaker 3: But one trip to Brazil and suddenly Jerry Jones is
- 7:00Speaker 3: being called out as Magellan. No, he's not Carmen San.
- 7:04Speaker 1: Diego or any of that. The problem is not Rio.
- 7:08Speaker 1: It's not.
- 7:10Speaker 3: And it isn't the field conditions of those sound like
- 7:13Speaker 3: they're not going to be that great. The problem is
- 7:15Speaker 3: Jerry cannot even visit a Starbucks anymore. without explaining his
- 7:19Speaker 3: commercial real estate portfolio and all of that. Loves to brag.
- 7:23Speaker 3: Just loves to brag. And Jerry Jones' press conference about
- 7:26Speaker 3: Jerry Jones is undefeated. And he naturally fueled the rage,
- 7:32Speaker 3: Jerry did, by bragging. He was very braggadocious about his
- 7:36Speaker 3: extensive Brazilian car dealership things that he's got going on
- 7:41Speaker 3: there and his business associates. It's just typical Jerry Jones bragging.
- 7:47Speaker 3: at work but again it's hard to say that jerry
- 7:51Speaker 3: jones is the bad guy in this when the cowboys
- 7:54Speaker 3: over the last generation this will be their second game
- 7:58Speaker 3: their second international game in 26 years that's pretty good
- 8:05Speaker 3: let's juxtapose that with teams like the chargers and the jaguars.
- 8:09Speaker 1: And the rams who play games all.
- 8:11Speaker 3: The time abroad now furthermore to tampa bay we go
- 8:18Speaker 3: Best laid plans of mice, men, and Buccaneers. Tampa off
- 8:22Speaker 3: to the miserable start. So bad they're talking about bringing
- 8:26Speaker 3: back the creamsicle uniforms there. So quarterback Baker Mayfield, always quotable.
- 8:32Speaker 1: Always quotable, Baker Mayfield.
- 8:34Speaker 3: So Baker Mayfield says the Buccaneers' offensive struggles, they're obviously frustrating,
- 8:40Speaker 3: but they're frustrating, according to Baker Mayfield, because Tampa Bay
- 8:43Speaker 3: has been, quote, really close, close quote, to putting things together.
- 8:48Speaker 3: Baker giving the diagnosis, he says it's simple, quote, everybody's
- 8:53Speaker 3: just doing their job.
- 8:56Speaker 1: He admitted that it sounds boring, but.
- 8:59Speaker 3: Says execution is key to the Buccaneers to establish their
- 9:03Speaker 3: offensive identity, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and eliminate the
- 9:07Speaker 3: negative plays. So the question, is Buccaneer quarterback Baker Mayfield
- 9:13Speaker 3: taking accountability, or is he hiding behind the safest cliche
- 9:20Speaker 3: in football?
- 9:22Speaker 1: All right, so that's the question. What's the answer?
- 9:27Speaker 3: And so the answer is not that complicated. The answer
- 9:31Speaker 3: is not that complicated. Baker Mayfield is essentially talking to
- 9:35Speaker 3: himself through the media about Like one of those guys
- 9:38Speaker 3: that leaves motivational post-it notes on their bathroom.
- 9:41Speaker 1: Mirror in the morning. You know what I'm talking about?
- 9:43Speaker 1: You know a guy like that? Maybe you're that person.
- 9:46Speaker 1: And he's like, wow, we're close.
- 9:48Speaker 3: And when you say we're close, that is adult language
- 9:50Speaker 3: for I screwed up.
- 9:52Speaker 1: I veffed up.
- 9:53Speaker 3: However, I would prefer that we discuss the journey and
- 9:56Speaker 3: not all of the mistakes.
- 9:59Speaker 1: Not all.
- 10:00Speaker 3: Of the mistakes that I have been a party to.
- 10:02Speaker 3: You talk about the hardscrabble streets of quarterback stats. Baker
- 10:06Speaker 3: Mayfield has been so bad to begin the year. How
- 10:09Speaker 3: bad has he been that his contemporaries at the quarterback
- 10:13Speaker 3: position are statistically Cam Ward and Jacoby Brissett.
- 10:19Speaker 1: That does not seem to be good. That does not
- 10:22Speaker 1: seem to be good.
- 10:24Speaker 3: Oh, you're being a tough a-hole, Maller.
- 10:26Speaker 5: I know. I know.
- 10:27Speaker 1: I'm the bad guy.
- 10:28Speaker 3: It doesn't seem when your statistics are that of Cam
- 10:31Speaker 3: Ward and Jagobe Brissett, things are going well.
- 10:34Speaker 1: Now, he is the problem.
- 10:35Speaker 3: The check down is apparently his version for Baker Mayfield.
- 10:39Speaker 3: It's his version of eating veggies. He knows that they're
- 10:42Speaker 3: good for you. But he refuses to do it because
- 10:46Speaker 3: he only wants the cotton candy. He doesn't want the veggies.
- 10:49Speaker 3: I want the cotton candy. Why can't I have the
- 10:52Speaker 3: cotton candy? Because you've got to eat the veggies. Well,
- 10:53Speaker 3: I don't want to eat the veggies. Well, you've got
- 10:55Speaker 3: to eat the veggies. I want the cotton candy. And
- 10:57Speaker 3: then you've got Todd Bowles, who's pretty much implied that. Now,
- 11:00Speaker 3: I'm going to use a football analogy. Hey, it's baseball.
- 11:06Speaker 3: I said football.
- 11:08Speaker 1: I meant baseball. I'm going to use a baseball analogy.
- 11:10Speaker 3: There's an old line in baseball that pitching– pitching and
- 11:14Speaker 3: hitting and all the different cliches in baseball and all
- 11:17Speaker 3: that stuff.
- 11:17Speaker 1: But there's a line an old.
- 11:20Speaker 3: Hitting coach told me years ago when I was around
- 11:23Speaker 3: the Dodgers before they bought all the good players and
- 11:25Speaker 3: they actually had to build minor.
- 11:27Speaker 1: League players up and stuff like that.
- 11:29Speaker 3: And the hitting coach will tell a batter that sometimes
- 11:34Speaker 3: you just got to take the walk.
- 11:35Speaker 1: Take your base on balls. Take the walk.
- 11:37Speaker 3: If they're not giving you something to hit, just take
- 11:39Speaker 3: the walk. And Baker Mayfield does not want to take
- 11:43Speaker 3: the base on balls.
- 11:44Speaker 1: He doesn't. And I get it. You know, you get shamed.
- 11:47Speaker 1: These guys get shamed.
- 11:48Speaker 3: Wide receivers get shamed when they're slot wide receivers and
- 11:52Speaker 3: they get goofed on.
- 11:53Speaker 1: Quarterbacks get goofed on when they're Charlie Checkdown.
- 11:56Speaker 3: And Baker Mayfield does not want to accept the fact
- 11:59Speaker 3: there are times now he has to be Charlie Checkdown.
- 12:02Speaker 3: He doesn't want to be Charlie Checkdown. He wants to
- 12:05Speaker 3: be Charlie Gunslinger. He doesn't want to protect the football.
- 12:08Speaker 3: He wants to sling it down the field. So he
- 12:10Speaker 3: doesn't want to protect the ball. He doesn't want to
- 12:13Speaker 3: end scrambles. He wants to chase bigger plays and all
- 12:18Speaker 3: that stuff. So nobody gives points for, hey, almost. You know,
- 12:23Speaker 3: you almost won that game.
- 12:25Speaker 1: Way to go. Here's an attaboy.
- 12:26Speaker 3: I'll give you a little puffy sticker because you almost
- 12:28Speaker 3: won that game. And I looked at the NFL standings,
- 12:31Speaker 3: and unfortunately there is no close enough column. And as
- 12:35Speaker 3: we've pointed out for many years, bad teams lose close games.
- 12:38Speaker 3: There's a myth that That bad teams get blown out
- 12:42Speaker 3: all the time, that is not reality.
- 12:44Speaker 1: It's just not.
- 12:46Speaker 3: Bad teams, generally speaking... are close enough to being good.
- 12:51Speaker 3: The margins are thin. The margins are thin, and so
- 12:55Speaker 3: they kind of go about it that way, and so
- 12:57Speaker 3: you don't get blown out, and that's just the way
- 12:59Speaker 3: it is most of the time. Now, there are exceptions
- 13:01Speaker 3: to every rule, teams like the Miami Dolphins that aren't
- 13:04Speaker 3: even trying. Now, the last thing here, to Detroit we go,
- 13:09Speaker 3: where Lions defensive coordinator Kelvin Shepard is under siege, and
- 13:14Speaker 3: he refuses.
- 13:16Speaker 1: to.
- 13:17Speaker 3: Use injuries as an excuse for Detroit's futility. A defensive disaster.
- 13:23Speaker 3: He called Kelvin Shepard those that are using the injuries.
- 13:29Speaker 1: As an excuse. He said all of that talk is, quote,
- 13:32Speaker 1: for losers.
- 13:33Speaker 3: Now, in case you haven't been paying attention, the Lions
- 13:36Speaker 3: have been vaporized, allowing 71 points and more than 900
- 13:41Speaker 3: yards through two games. Their secondary is depleted. Kirby Joseph
- 13:47Speaker 3: and Brian Branch are on the pup list, physically unable
- 13:52Speaker 3: to perform. And Terryon Arnold was let go because he's
- 13:56Speaker 3: facing life at the Gray Bar Hotel, all expenses paid. Still,
- 14:02Speaker 3: Shepard isn't interested in alibis. What can I do, most
- 14:09Speaker 3: coaches say.
- 14:11Speaker 1: What can I do? My hands are tied. I don't
- 14:13Speaker 1: have this guy. You know, all this stuff.
- 14:16Speaker 3: And he said, this is a quote from Shepard, the
- 14:19Speaker 3: Lions defensive coordinator. He says, what am I going to
- 14:22Speaker 3: stand up here and keep saying? I don't have Kirby.
- 14:26Speaker 3: His message is we have the resources needed to be successful.
- 14:32Speaker 1: All right, so the.
- 14:32Speaker 3: Question, is defensive coordinator Kelvin Shepard right that talking about.
- 14:40Speaker 1: Detroit's injuries is, quote, for losers? Yes. So on this one,
- 14:45Speaker 1: the media, I'm fascinated.
- 14:46Speaker 3: By this because it seems like the Detroit media and
- 14:49Speaker 3: some of the national media guys, they are working overtime very,
- 14:53Speaker 3: very hard to try to defend Kelvin Shepard. And they're
- 14:57Speaker 3: actually working harder to defend the Lions defensive coordinator than
- 15:01Speaker 3: the Lions defensive coordinator is working to defend himself.
- 15:04Speaker 1: You feel me on that?
- 15:06Speaker 3: It's like rather than just say, hey, next man up,
- 15:11Speaker 3: that's it. The media in Detroit, it seems, is next excuse-o.
- 15:17Speaker 3: But the NFL doesn't grade on a curve.
- 15:19Speaker 1: They don't.
- 15:21Speaker 3: Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares about your problems. Nobody
- 15:25Speaker 3: cares about the Lions' problems. And the woulda, coulda, shoulda. Boy,
- 15:30Speaker 3: we would have been great if we had a full roster,
- 15:33Speaker 3: had a healthy roster. And this just in to the
- 15:37Speaker 3: Ben Mather show on Fox Sports Radio. Everybody, everybody's got injuries.
- 15:43Speaker 3: But nobody gets to smash the pause button.
- 15:48Speaker 1: Because life isn't fair. It's not fair. Boo-hoo-hoo.
- 15:53Speaker 3: So on our scorecard, Kelvin Shepard, Lions defensive coordinator, gets
- 15:57Speaker 3: a B +, a B +, for rejecting the excuse
- 16:02Speaker 3: that some factions of the media are making on his behalf. Now,
- 16:07Speaker 3: that does not absolve Kelvin Shepard from the Pepe Le Pew, P-U,
- 16:14Speaker 3: what stinks, level of defense, from his Lions defensive secondary
- 16:19Speaker 3: in particular. And the Lions, so far this year, have
- 16:23Speaker 3: hit a two-leg parlay. They are both undisciplined, and they
- 16:28Speaker 3: appear to be unprepared, the you and you, when they're
- 16:33Speaker 3: out there at the grocery store called The Field. So,
- 16:39Speaker 3: sometimes in the NFL... You have to make chicken salad
- 16:44Speaker 3: out of chicken fertilizer.
- 16:47Speaker 1: You got to do it.
- 16:48Speaker 3: And whatever ingredients are in the fridge, whatever you got,
- 16:53Speaker 3: dinner's going to be.
- 16:53Speaker 1: Served at 6 o'clock, and that's it, and you got
- 16:56Speaker 1: to have something to eat. And so you grab.
- 16:57Speaker 3: Some Cholula hot sauce and some bell pepper and some
- 17:02Speaker 3: black pepper, and you start mixing it all together. And Shepard,
- 17:06Speaker 3: it appears he understands the deal. Like, nobody is promised
- 17:09Speaker 3: you're going to be coaching filet mignon. You might want
- 17:12Speaker 3: to coach filet mignon, but you're not promised filet mignon.
- 17:15Speaker 3: And sometimes all you have to eat is some spam.
- 17:18Speaker 1: And the number one.
- 17:22Speaker 3: Thing that leads you to enjoy food, the number one spice,
- 17:26Speaker 3: the flavor that gives you joy is hunger. So if
- 17:31Speaker 3: you're hungry, that spam is going to taste really good, really,
- 17:34Speaker 3: really good. And if your backup stink, and it appears
- 17:39Speaker 3: the Lions backup players stink, then you got to get creative, right?
- 17:44Speaker 3: You're paid to coach them up. That is why coordinators
- 17:47Speaker 3: are not paid minimum wage. That's why they get paid
- 17:50Speaker 3: a lot more, I'm told, than minimum wage.
- 17:53Speaker 1: All right? That's just the reality of the situation.
- 17:57Speaker 4: All right.
- 17:59Speaker 1: It is the Ben Maller Show.
- 18:02Speaker 3: As we are rolling, rolling, rolling through the overnight hours.
- 18:07Speaker 3: And if you would like to be part of this program,
- 18:09Speaker 3: you can join us right now Say hello at 877-99.
- 18:15Speaker 3: We took no calls last hour. We had Benny versus
- 18:18Speaker 3: the Penny for the entire hour. And we picked eight
- 18:23Speaker 3: games against the spread. We have all the picks that
- 18:25Speaker 3: will be coming up either later today or on Saturday
- 18:29Speaker 3: on Instagram and the Facebook page for the show. So
- 18:31Speaker 3: make sure to follow those accounts if you want the
- 18:35Speaker 3: picks against the spread for all of the games. Instagram page,
- 18:40Speaker 3: Ben Maller on Fox. The Facebook page, Ben Maller Show.
- 18:46Speaker 1: Now, we have the.
- 18:47Speaker 3: Maller Riddle of the Day. The Maller Riddle of the Day.
- 18:53Speaker 3: And we'll go to baseball. You can answer this on X,
- 18:56Speaker 3: at Ben Maller. At Ben Maller. Now, Ian Happ, a
- 19:02Speaker 3: longtime MLB player, Ian Happ, surprised Wrigley Field Bleacher Bum's
- 19:10Speaker 3: with blank in what is likely his final Cubs home
- 19:15Speaker 3: game of the regular season there for his career. Ian Happ,
- 19:21Speaker 3: longtime MLB player, surprised the Wrigley Field Bleacher Bums with
- 19:26Speaker 3: a blank for his final game.
- 19:31Speaker 1: In the friendly confines. That is the Mallard Riddle of
- 19:35Speaker 1: the Day. The answer, we'll get to it, and we
- 19:38Speaker 1: will do it. Next. Be sure to catch live editions
- 19:43Speaker 1: of the Ben Maller Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern,
- 19:46Speaker 1: 11 p.m.
- 19:47Speaker 4: Pacific.
- 19:49Speaker 6: Welcome to Footage. Doesn't Lie.
- 19:51Speaker 7: Hi, I'm Bill Parcells.
- 19:53Speaker 6: And I'm Catherine Zazzora.
- 19:55Speaker 8: I have a lot of experience in the game of football, Catherine.
- 19:58Speaker 6: And I'm learning the game with Bill's help. Every week,
- 20:01Speaker 6: we're going to talk about the NFL slate through the
- 20:03Speaker 6: lens of Bill's expertise as he coaches me from novice
- 20:06Speaker 6: fan to football expert over the course of the season.
- 20:09Speaker 8: You know, I'm looking forward to this show, Catherine, and
- 20:12Speaker 8: hopefully we can give our audience a little in-depth look
- 20:15Speaker 8: into the inner sanctum of pro football that they can't
- 20:18Speaker 8: get anywhere else.
- 20:19Speaker 6: Tune in every Thursday for unfiltered stories from Coach Parcells,
- 20:23Speaker 6: analysis on the state of the modern game, and education
- 20:26Speaker 6: on how football really works.
- 20:28Speaker 7: Continuity is very important but what happens when you get
- 20:32Speaker 7: good coaches on your staff and people begin to recognize
- 20:36Speaker 7: them then they want to hire them and then you
- 20:39Speaker 7: can't stop a guy from trying to improve himself but
- 20:42Speaker 7: you have to replace.
- 20:43Speaker 6: Them Because once you understand what's going on inside the
- 20:47Speaker 6: mind of the coaches, you'll understand more about the whole game.
- 20:50Speaker 8: So all aspects can be discussed. The only thing I
- 20:53Speaker 8: haven't done, because I didn't have enough money, I don't
- 20:57Speaker 8: own the team. I never owned a team.
- 20:59Speaker 6: Listen to Football Doesn't Lie on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
- 21:03Speaker 6: or wherever you get your podcasts.
- 21:09Speaker 3: The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio as we
- 21:14Speaker 3: continue on through the overnight hours.
- 21:18Speaker 1: I'm glad you have chosen to hang out with us.
- 21:20Speaker 3: A reminder that the Fifth Hour Podcast is a spinoff
- 21:26Speaker 3: of the radio show. You can get the Fifth Hour
- 21:28Speaker 3: Podcast every weekend on Friday, today, Saturday. There will be
- 21:33Speaker 3: a new episode and then the mailbag on Sunday. We
- 21:35Speaker 3: don't yet know who we're going.
- 21:37Speaker 1: To have on the mailbag for sure.
- 21:40Speaker 3: On the Sunday edition yet. There's a couple of people.
- 21:45Speaker 3: If they answer the phone, they'll be on. If not,
- 21:47Speaker 3: we'll go to the next name. And if they don't
- 21:48Speaker 3: answer and they don't answer, eventually we'll just get down
- 21:50Speaker 3: to Robbie the Mariner fan. And then Robbie always answers
- 21:54Speaker 3: his phone. He always answers his phone.
- 21:57Speaker 1: So the Fifth Hour podcast is straight ahead.
- 21:59Speaker 3: And we are also very excited to welcome the newest guest.
- 22:05Speaker 3: Friend of the Ben Maller Show heard live and local
- 22:10Speaker 3: on Fox Sports 1370 AM in Baltimore, Maryland. Thanks to
- 22:15Speaker 3: the market manager there, Andy Grimshaw, for welcoming us to
- 22:21Speaker 3: the city of Baltimore.
- 22:24Speaker 1: Excited about that.
- 22:25Speaker 3: And one of my good radio friends is Sports with Coleman.
- 22:31Speaker 3: And he loves to send me food porn. And I'm
- 22:34Speaker 3: thinking about going to Baltimore just to eat the state
- 22:37Speaker 3: cake of Maryland, which is this 7, 8, 9, 10, 11,
- 22:40Speaker 3: 12-layer cake.
- 22:42Speaker 1: You can eat this. Freaking amazing. I got to get
- 22:44Speaker 1: that cake at some point. In my life. So we're
- 22:50Speaker 1: excited to be on in Baltimore.
- 22:51Speaker 3: And the fifth hour podcast today, in honor of Baltimore,
- 22:55Speaker 3: we have Mel Proctor, who was a longtime Oriole broadcaster
- 22:58Speaker 3: back in the day and just a goofy, fun broadcast guy.
- 23:02Speaker 3: He's got a new book out, and he's going to
- 23:04Speaker 3: talk about that. But it's a crazy story.
- 23:05Speaker 1: It should be a movie.
- 23:08Speaker 3: So he'll be on the fifth hour later today. Also,
- 23:12Speaker 3: if you want to say hello to Lorena, she's in
- 23:15Speaker 3: the hizzy. You can say hello to her at FSR.
- 23:17Speaker 6: I have crackers and cheese.
- 23:19Speaker 1: Congratulations.
- 23:20Speaker 3: FSR Tech Queen and Patty. This show, two people producing
- 23:25Speaker 3: this show today. Patty is in the producer's chair.
- 23:28Speaker 1: There he is right there. Patty Speaks. You can say
- 23:30Speaker 1: hello to.
- 23:30Speaker 3: Him at Patty Speaks on the X machine. That's Patty
- 23:37Speaker 3: and then S-P-E-A-K-Z.
- 23:40Speaker 1: So find him there. He's the big morning producer, and
- 23:44Speaker 1: we take phone calls.
- 23:45Speaker 3: But first, we have to pay off the Mallor riddle
- 23:48Speaker 3: of the day.
- 23:50Speaker 1: The Mallor riddle of the day. So what is the
- 23:53Speaker 1: Mallor riddle of the day? Here it is.
- 23:56Speaker 3: Ian Happ, that's a baseball player, surprised the Wrigley Field
- 24:00Speaker 3: Bleacher Bums with blank in what is likely going to
- 24:04Speaker 3: be his final regular season game At Wrigley Field, he
- 24:09Speaker 3: wanted to surprise the bleacher.
- 24:11Speaker 1: Bums, and he did surprise them with blank. What is it?
- 24:16Speaker 1: Let's see if any of you yahoos know the answer.
- 24:20Speaker 3: And we go to the X machine to try to
- 24:23Speaker 3: find out who it is.
- 24:25Speaker 1: Let's see. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Pick an answer by
- 24:30Speaker 1: the name. Let's see.
- 24:33Speaker 3: We've got, can't read that. Tinfoil hats from Alf the
- 24:37Speaker 3: Alien O'Piner. Let's see here. Page down. Personalized whoopee cushions
- 24:44Speaker 3: from Monkey Biz Doug in Korea, although he's moving back
- 24:49Speaker 3: to the States here soon. A huge gabagool sandwich from Attillo.
- 24:54Speaker 1: That's his answer.
- 24:56Speaker 3: Pizza Papa says discount coupons for Garrett's Popcorn.
- 25:04Speaker 1: Is the answer. Who else do we have? Page down.
- 25:07Speaker 1: We'll skip over that. Let's see here.
- 25:11Speaker 3: We've got DJ Spin Patrick with Padre Propaganda.
- 25:15Speaker 1: We're not reading that right now, but thank you. I'm happy.
- 25:18Speaker 1: with the Padres. I did see the owner. She was
- 25:21Speaker 1: in there celebrating.
- 25:22Speaker 3: I know she had a lot of home runs this
- 25:24Speaker 3: year for the Padres, and I'm glad she was able
- 25:26Speaker 3: to take part in that celebration.
- 25:28Speaker 1: Let's see. Lorraine, do you have an answer?
- 25:29Speaker 3: Ian Happ surprised Wrigley Field Bleacher Bums with blank in
- 25:34Speaker 3: what was likely his final Cubs regular season game.
- 25:39Speaker 1: Whoopie Cushions. Whoopie Cushions. Is that correct?
- 25:42Speaker 3: No.
- 25:44Speaker 5: No.
- 25:45Speaker 3: Ian Happ surprised the bleacher bums with a ball tossed
- 25:50Speaker 3: into the bleachers that was wrapped in $ 300. And he
- 25:56Speaker 3: told them, he wrote a little note. He said, thank
- 25:59Speaker 3: you for 10 incredible years and your unwavering support. And
- 26:02Speaker 3: he said, beer's on me. Now, the reason I brought
- 26:07Speaker 3: this up and the reason I think this is absolutely hilarious,
- 26:10Speaker 3: I think this is great. Why was that not the
- 26:14Speaker 3: greatest gift you could give?
- 26:16Speaker 1: $ 300.
- 26:16Speaker 3: What was odd about this story? You want to take
- 26:19Speaker 3: a guess, Lorena, what was odd about this story? Baseball
- 26:23Speaker 3: wrapped with $ 300 and tossing it into the crowd there,
- 26:27Speaker 3: the bleacher bums at Wrigley Field.
- 26:28Speaker 1: What was odd about it? I thought it was weird
- 26:32Speaker 1: that you don't know who's going to catch it. What
- 26:34Speaker 1: if it like.
- 26:35Speaker 6: I don't know.
- 26:35Speaker 1: That's a terrible idea.
- 26:36Speaker 4: That wasn't it?
- 26:37Speaker 1: Well, there's a couple things.
- 26:39Speaker 3: The first thing is the price of a beer... At
- 26:43Speaker 3: Wrigley Field, right? It's very expensive. And $ 300 is a
- 26:49Speaker 3: decent amount of money. But how much is a beer
- 26:53Speaker 3: in the bleachers at Wrigley Field? What do you think
- 26:55Speaker 3: a beer costs?
- 26:56Speaker 1: $ 12.
- 26:57Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you'd think probably $ 12. I don't know
- 27:01Speaker 3: off the top of my head.
- 27:02Speaker 1: I guess we could.
- 27:02Speaker 3: Just look it up. It's probably about, I'd say at
- 27:06Speaker 3: least $ 10.
- 27:08Speaker 1: Probably more than that. And if you want a souvenir cup,
- 27:11Speaker 1: that'll cost you more.
- 27:12Speaker 3: If you want a souvenir cup, that'll cost you some more.
- 27:15Speaker 3: I think Wrigley Field, the 24, here it is, a
- 27:18Speaker 3: 24-ounce draft beer at Wrigley Field cost about $ 15. All right,
- 27:24Speaker 3: so he wanted to buy the Bleacher Bums beer.
- 27:28Speaker 1: So that's the first part.
- 27:28Speaker 3: So you got $ 15, and how much, you do the
- 27:31Speaker 3: math on that, how many beers, like, well, what would
- 27:36Speaker 3: be the amount of beers you could get. So 15 times,
- 27:42Speaker 3: let's see here, 15 times 20. So you get 20 beers.
- 27:45Speaker 3: So 20 fans could get beer. The other part of it,
- 27:48Speaker 3: and this is the more interesting part, Wrigley Field, I
- 27:52Speaker 3: was there a couple years ago, is a cashless venue.
- 27:58Speaker 3: You cannot use cash at Wrigley Field.
- 28:02Speaker 1: Can't do it. And Ian Happ tossed.
- 28:04Speaker 3: $ 300 bills there.
- 28:08Speaker 1: What? Oh, my gosh. Yeah, yeah.
- 28:12Speaker 3: So he just gave some guy $ 300. I can't spend
- 28:17Speaker 3: the money.
- 28:17Speaker 1: No, that's great. All right, let's go to the phones,
- 28:20Speaker 1: and we'll say hello.
- 28:21Speaker 3: We have Weed Man Hippie coming up later this hour,
- 28:23Speaker 3: our friend Billy from Hollywood, Florida. He'll be my laugh
- 28:26Speaker 3: track on Lame Jokes of the Week. Kevin is in Florida,
- 28:31Speaker 3: and he is up next.
- 28:32Speaker 1: Hello, Kevin. You're on the radio.
- 28:34Speaker 4: Welcome.
- 28:35Speaker 5: Hey, how's it going, man? How's the night been?
- 28:39Speaker 1: Let's see.
- 28:39Speaker 3: Well, if I was any better, I would have been
- 28:42Speaker 3: a Packer, but not a Green Bay Packer.
- 28:46Speaker 1: Nice.
- 28:48Speaker 5: So about the college football thing, everywhere I call in,
- 28:50Speaker 5: it's the same thing. College football is ruined. All this
- 28:54Speaker 5: money that they make, why don't they.
- 28:58Speaker 5: Make a commissioner, like, for example, Nick Saban, put him
- 29:02Speaker 5: in charge. He was in the coaching. He knows the players.
- 29:05Speaker 5: He knows about all this NIL shit. That's why he
- 29:08Speaker 5: left college football.
- 29:10Speaker 6: Please watch your language.
- 29:12Speaker 1: You can't say the S-word.
- 29:15Speaker 5: I apologize.
- 29:18Speaker 1: Why Nick Saban?
- 29:20Speaker 3: Like, that whole save college football act, I don't like that.
- 29:23Speaker 3: I think that's, like, there's got to be a common
- 29:25Speaker 3: ground here. Because that's just them trying to get back
- 29:28Speaker 3: control of, you know, they've created Frankenstein and now they
- 29:33Speaker 3: want to put Frankenstein back in the lab.
- 29:35Speaker 1: And it's not a great idea because it's not going
- 29:38Speaker 1: to work. You know what I'm saying? I'm saying?
- 29:41Speaker 3: Saban didn't have a problem with players getting paid when
- 29:43Speaker 3: he was paying them under the table.
- 29:45Speaker 1: I agree with that.
- 29:46Speaker 5: I agree with that. But that was just the first
- 29:49Speaker 5: name that popped up in my head. But who's voting
- 29:53Speaker 5: on that actor? Is that the... ncaa or is that
- 29:56Speaker 5: the government.
- 29:57Speaker 3: Oh it's congress right as i from what i've read
- 30:00Speaker 3: i guess it passed the first thing but it is
- 30:03Speaker 3: questions whether it's going to get the full vote and
- 30:05Speaker 3: i guess that's.
- 30:06Speaker 1: Is it next week i think i read somewhere it's
- 30:08Speaker 1: next week or.
- 30:09Speaker 3: Uh i believe okay next week so we'll see what
- 30:12Speaker 3: happens but there'll be lawsuits and things too right because
- 30:15Speaker 3: lawyers are making yeah agents are making money off the
- 30:18Speaker 3: players now so they're not going to want to give
- 30:19Speaker 3: up their money So they're going to try to find
- 30:21Speaker 3: some loophole to sue, and it'll get delayed, and it'll
- 30:25Speaker 3: end up in the Supreme Court, and then it'll be
- 30:28Speaker 3: up to them to decide what they want to do
- 30:29Speaker 3: with it. I enjoy college football. It's never going to
- 30:33Speaker 3: be like it was. But nothing's like it was, right?
- 30:38Speaker 1: Everything changes.
- 30:39Speaker 3: When I was a kid, I'm old, I guess, because
- 30:41Speaker 3: when I was a kid, baseball players actually made a
- 30:44Speaker 3: salary where some of these guys had to have jobs
- 30:47Speaker 3: in the offseason because they were not making money. The
- 30:49Speaker 3: minimum salary in baseball is a couple million dollars. Back
- 30:52Speaker 3: in the day, it was like $ 60, 000.
- 30:53Speaker 1: Baseball money is crazy. Exactly. Exactly. What's your solution, Kevin?
- 30:59Speaker 1: Your solution is Nick Saban. That's your solution?
- 31:02Speaker 5: No, no. Just put somebody in charge and have a
- 31:04Speaker 5: group and have it regulated and where, you know, the
- 31:07Speaker 5: Ohio State, the Alabamas, the Miamis, they can't spend $ 50
- 31:11Speaker 5: million versus... You know, the smaller schools that just don't
- 31:15Speaker 5: have that kind of.
- 31:16Speaker 4: Money, you know?
- 31:17Speaker 1: Now, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this, Kevin.
- 31:19Speaker 1: When has regulation ever really worked?
- 31:25Speaker 5: I mean, that is a good question. I think the
- 31:29Speaker 5: NBA does a good job of it. And when it's
- 31:31Speaker 5: not followed, for example, Kawhi Leonard, his whole situation.
- 31:36Speaker 5: I mean, they did discover it and punish him for it.
- 31:40Speaker 5: So I think the NBA does a good.
- 31:41Speaker 1: Job regulating it. You think Kawhi was the only player
- 31:44Speaker 1: getting money out of the table?
- 31:46Speaker 5: No, no, but the way that he did it and
- 31:50Speaker 5: the amount that it was was a little absurd.
- 31:52Speaker 3: Well, from what I understand, well, people think Jalen Brunson,
- 31:56Speaker 3: but from what I understand, the reason they dinged the
- 31:58Speaker 3: Clippers is because the Clippers apparently– They hired, I don't
- 32:03Speaker 3: know if they hired, there was that ESPN story that
- 32:06Speaker 3: the NBA got upset with because they made it seem
- 32:09Speaker 3: like there was going to be no punishment.
- 32:10Speaker 1: They hadn't decided that.
- 32:12Speaker 3: And so then they brought the hammer of God down
- 32:14Speaker 3: on the Clippers and all that.
- 32:15Speaker 1: But anyway, thank you, Kevin, for listening. The great Kevin.
- 32:18Speaker 1: He's got a dirty mouth, but we appreciated his phone call.
- 32:21Speaker 1: Let's say hello to... Put some soap in it.
- 32:24Speaker 3: Yeah, let's say hello to Poppy in San Diego.
- 32:29Speaker 1: Hello, Poppy. 0-1 this weekend.
- 32:33Speaker 3: Poppy gave out his five-star pick, the Green Bay Packers,
- 32:36Speaker 3: in the Thursday game, and thank God for that.
- 32:39Speaker 1: Hello, Poppy.
- 32:40Speaker 4: Hey, mentor. Yes, and I'm ready to give out the picks.
- 32:45Speaker 4: This week on NFL Mentor. Let's go on and start
- 32:48Speaker 4: it off. Get the real going.
- 32:50Speaker 1: Hold on a second. I thought you were picking against
- 32:53Speaker 1: the leprechaun. Let me see. It's a leprechaun.
- 32:56Speaker 4: Yes. My boy, where's the leprechaun?
- 32:58Speaker 1: I don't know. Let's see if we can get him on.
- 33:00Speaker 1: Is the leprechaun there? Let's see here. Let's find out
- 33:02Speaker 1: if we can punch the leprechaun up. Hello, leprechaun. Don't
- 33:05Speaker 1: hang up on Poppy. Oh, I hear the leprechaun. There
- 33:09Speaker 1: he is.
- 33:10Speaker 4: Anyway, Poppy, you're off to a bad start. I was
- 33:15Speaker 4: 3-0 last weekend, but at least you.
- 33:18Speaker 3: Can go two out of three.
- 33:20Speaker 4: Two out of three ain't bad. Yes, good luck. Okay,
- 33:25Speaker 4: thank you.
- 33:26Speaker 1: All right, all right.
- 33:27Speaker 3: Listen, we have one minute. I'm going to put one
- 33:30Speaker 3: minute on the clock. We're doing three games, yes?
- 33:33Speaker 4: Yes, that's correct.
- 33:33Speaker 1: All right, three games.
- 33:36Speaker 3: And this is the segment you did not ask for
- 33:39Speaker 3: but you're about to get. We've got Poppy in San Diego,
- 33:41Speaker 3: Mike the Leprechaun, And Poppy's an amateur handicapper. Mike the
- 33:47Speaker 3: Leprechaun just picks the Patriots every week, and that's it.
- 33:50Speaker 1: So let's see here. Here we go. We'll put one
- 33:52Speaker 1: minute on the clock. You're on your way, gentlemen, and go!
- 33:56Speaker 4: I like on this game, sir, the Texans versus the Colts.
- 33:59Speaker 4: Give me the Colts, sir. I look a little bit nasty,
- 34:01Speaker 4: but let's go Daniel Jones. We trust. And we're going
- 34:06Speaker 4: to go on the next game, the Rams-Broncos. That's a
- 34:08Speaker 4: good game on the Sunday night. I'm going to go
- 34:10Speaker 4: with Broncos on this one. Bo Nix.
- 34:14Speaker 1: Oh, boo.
- 34:16Speaker 4: And then save the best for night on Monday night, too,
- 34:20Speaker 4: but we've got the Eagles and the Bears. On this one,
- 34:22Speaker 4: I'm going to have to go with Mr. Caleb Williams
- 34:24Speaker 4: and the Bears over the Eagles.
- 34:26Speaker 3: Okay, that's a great, tremendous handicap, and Caleb Williams probably
- 34:29Speaker 3: not playing in that game. And Leprechaun Guy, you got
- 34:32Speaker 3: 20 seconds. Who do you like in those games?
- 34:35Speaker 4: Obviously the Pats. They're underdogs.
- 34:37Speaker 5: They will cover.
- 34:38Speaker 1: He didn't do the Patriot game. The Patriots are playing
- 34:41Speaker 1: the Jaguars.
- 34:43Speaker 4: The Bucs are going to win.
- 34:44Speaker 3: They're underdogs.
- 34:45Speaker 5: So are the Cowboys.
- 34:46Speaker 1: He did the Colts game. All right.
- 34:48Speaker 3: What?
- 34:49Speaker 7: The Cowboys.
- 34:50Speaker 8: The Cowboys, Bucs, Pats.
- 34:51Speaker 3: Stop interrupting, please.
- 34:52Speaker 4: And then, last but not least.
- 34:54Speaker 5: Leprechaun over Marcel every day.
- 34:57Speaker 4: Okay. Yeah.
- 34:59Speaker 1: So you guys did different games. All right. Thank you.
- 35:01Speaker 1: Go away. All right.
- 35:03Speaker 3: You're supposed to do the same game. If you're going
- 35:05Speaker 3: to do it, it's supposed to be head-to-head. There's Poppy
- 35:09Speaker 3: and the Leprechaun. We've got Big Ben's Lame Jokes of
- 35:14Speaker 3: the Week. All the best singers, the best one-liners.
- 35:18Speaker 1: As sent in by the fellow.
- 35:21Speaker 3: Listeners to the show, people just like yourself. So we'll
- 35:24Speaker 3: have Big Ben's Lame Jokes.
- 35:26Speaker 1: Of the Week for the rest of the hour. We'll
- 35:28Speaker 1: get to that. We'll do it next. Be sure to
- 35:33Speaker 1: catch live editions of the Ben Maller Show weekdays at
- 35:36Speaker 1: 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m.
- 35:37Speaker 4: Pacific.
- 35:38Speaker 3: The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio. We thank
- 35:42Speaker 3: you for hanging out with us. Appreciate that. We know
- 35:44Speaker 3: you have options. Not good ones at this hour. But
- 35:46Speaker 3: we're here for you. We're live and local in your eardrums,
- 35:50Speaker 3: and you can take the Ben Maller Show with you
- 35:52Speaker 3: wherever you go. I know.
- 35:54Speaker 1: It's wild. What a time to be alive. It's called
- 35:58Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app.
- 35:59Speaker 3: Have that on your phone, your devices, whatever you use
- 36:02Speaker 3: to listen to audio content. Make sure to have the
- 36:05Speaker 3: Fox Sports Radio channel on there. We're on Fox Sports
- 36:08Speaker 3: Radio's channel on iHeart. That's who broadcasts the show four
- 36:12Speaker 3: hours a night, every single night. Also, in addition to that,
- 36:16Speaker 3: you can find... The Ben Malish Show podcast, make that
- 36:21Speaker 3: a P1.
- 36:22Speaker 1: You can become a P1 for the Fifth Hour podcast.
- 36:24Speaker 1: All of that audio content available on the iHeartRadio app.
- 36:28Speaker 3: It's a one-stop shop, and they do keep track of
- 36:32Speaker 3: who has what as a preset.
- 36:34Speaker 1: So that does help us out. You might think, who cares?
- 36:37Speaker 1: Some corporate weasel cares. That's who. So please help us out.
- 36:40Speaker 1: Check it out. iHeartRadio out. Knock, knock.
- 36:45Speaker 3: Who's there?
- 36:46Speaker 1: Lame Week.
- 36:47Speaker 7: Lame Week who?
- 36:48Speaker 1: It's Big Ben's Lame Joke of the Week. And away
- 36:54Speaker 1: we go. It's Big Ben's Lame Joke of the Week.
- 36:56Speaker 3: Every week at about this time here to dazzle you.
- 37:00Speaker 3: And we bring in America's favorite clown.
- 37:04Speaker 1: He laughs at everything. Even if he doesn't know what
- 37:07Speaker 1: it is, he'll laugh at it. Even himself. He loves
- 37:10Speaker 1: self-deprecating humor. He's upside down.
- 37:12Speaker 3: He's Weed Man Hippie!
- 37:16Speaker 7: Wee!
- 37:19Speaker 4: How you doing, Ben?
- 37:22Speaker 1: Benny and the Weed Man. It's going to happen. Benny
- 37:24Speaker 1: and the Weed Man. Big show.
- 37:25Speaker 4: Am I going to go on your show on Saturday
- 37:28Speaker 4: or what?
- 37:29Speaker 1: Well, you were just on a couple weeks ago. I've
- 37:32Speaker 1: got to get other people. Oh, come on.
- 37:33Speaker 4: What are you going to put me on, once a month?
- 37:37Speaker 4: Why are you going to tease me like that?
- 37:38Speaker 1: That's really not right.
- 37:40Speaker 3: Well, Weed Man, listen, people get pissed. They think they
- 37:43Speaker 3: don't like you. They don't like Ferg, Dog, and Alf,
- 37:45Speaker 3: and Malapropguy. They think you guys are like the teacher's pet.
- 37:49Speaker 3: and they don't get enough attention, and they want attention.
- 37:52Speaker 3: These guys get annoyed with me.
- 37:54Speaker 1: So what?
- 37:54Speaker 5: You've got to be joking. So what?
- 37:57Speaker 4: Oh, you've got to be.
- 37:59Speaker 5: All right.
- 38:00Speaker 1: All right. Shut up.
- 38:02Speaker 3: All right.
- 38:03Speaker 1: You're way too. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, my God.
- 38:09Speaker 3: All right.
- 38:09Speaker 1: Here we go, Weed Man. These are actual jokes. You
- 38:11Speaker 1: want me to do a round?
- 38:12Speaker 4: I'll put, like, four people on.
- 38:12Speaker 1: I don't care if you idiots want to go on.
- 38:14Speaker 7: All right.
- 38:27Speaker 3: This is from George in Uvalde, Texas. One of our buddies,
- 38:31Speaker 3: a teacher there in Uvalde, Texas. He says, why is
- 38:34Speaker 3: Mount Rushmore Weed Man Hippie's favorite monument?
- 38:39Speaker 4: Why?
- 38:40Speaker 1: Well, all four presidents are already stoned. So there you go.
- 38:44Speaker 1: Stoned for life. That's George in Uvalde. That is a
- 38:48Speaker 1: good joke by George in Uvalde, Texas. When will the aliens.
- 38:52Speaker 3: Give unworldly technology to Weed Man Hippie?
- 38:57Speaker 8: When?
- 38:57Speaker 4: I keep asking.
- 38:59Speaker 3: After he learns to use a TV remote.
- 39:02Speaker 1: That's from Lucky Tony. You don't even have a TV,
- 39:09Speaker 1: do you? You watch everything on your phone. I bet
- 39:10Speaker 1: you don't even have a TV.
- 39:11Speaker 4: On my phone, yeah. My sister's going to the TV.
- 39:13Speaker 5: I watch everything.
- 39:14Speaker 1: All right.
- 39:15Speaker 3: Did you hear that Weed Man went into the dentist
- 39:18Speaker 3: last week?
- 39:18Speaker 1: Big news here.
- 39:20Speaker 8: Oh, I wish I would have went into the dentist.
- 39:23Speaker 1: Yeah, they took one look at him.
- 39:24Speaker 3: They sent him on his way with a couple of
- 39:26Speaker 3: breath mints, a box of chiclets.
- 39:29Speaker 4: And a.
- 39:29Speaker 1: squeaky chew toy.
- 39:33Speaker 3: That's from didn't sign his name guy. Didn't sign his
- 39:37Speaker 3: name guy. I think it was somebody named Andrew, but
- 39:39Speaker 3: they didn't sign their name. What is the real reason
- 39:42Speaker 3: Weed Man Hippie doesn't sleep?
- 39:45Speaker 4: Why?
- 39:46Speaker 1: Because his body odor is too overwhelming.
- 39:49Speaker 3: That's from John in Youngstown, Ohio. That's not very nice, John.
- 39:54Speaker 3: Weed Man showers at least once a week. Come on,
- 39:56Speaker 3: give him a break.
- 39:57Speaker 1: What's wrong with you?
- 39:57Speaker 3: Did you know that Weed Man hippie can trace his
- 40:01Speaker 3: ancestry back to the colonial times?
- 40:04Speaker 6: Really?
- 40:05Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
- 40:06Speaker 3: His great, great, great, great, great grandfather was brought over
- 40:10Speaker 3: as an undentured servant.
- 40:13Speaker 1: So there you go. It's a joke. Much like you,
- 40:17Speaker 1: it's undentured. All right. Why is Weed Man pretty safe
- 40:21Speaker 1: from lightning?
- 40:23Speaker 4: Why?
- 40:24Speaker 3: Because he's mostly lying on the ground. That's from Michael
- 40:28Speaker 3: in Tulsa. What did the large woman say when she
- 40:34Speaker 3: saw Weed Man's I haven't eaten in three days begging sign?
- 40:39Speaker 4: What?
- 40:40Speaker 3: The large woman said, I wish I had your willpower.
- 40:44Speaker 3: That's from Eek in Roseville, Minnesota.
- 40:48Speaker 1: How long did it take Weed Man? Oh, I can't. John,
- 40:52Speaker 1: I can't do that joke, John. I can't. I mean,
- 40:55Speaker 1: I'd like to, but I can't. It's too offensive. All right,
- 40:59Speaker 1: let's see here.
- 41:00Speaker 3: What do the Green Bay Packers offensive line and Weed
- 41:02Speaker 3: Man have in common?
- 41:04Speaker 4: What?
- 41:05Speaker 1: They both do a whole lot of nothing. That's from
- 41:07Speaker 1: Noah in Austin.
- 41:09Speaker 3: What's the biggest difference between Tommy in Minnesota and Weed
- 41:13Speaker 3: Man Hippie?
- 41:14Speaker 4: What?
- 41:15Speaker 3: Well, Tommy cuts the grass and Weed Man smokes the
- 41:18Speaker 3: grass right there.
- 41:19Speaker 1: What was Weed Man's best event at the Olympics?
- 41:24Speaker 4: What?
- 41:25Speaker 1: The high jump. There you go. Hey, Ben, what does
- 41:28Speaker 1: Weed Man want to know more about? Weed Bowl!