Latest / Drama, Darling: A Real Housewives Comedy Podcast / The Valley Recap, New ATL Cast, Golden Bachelorette, Ann's Batteries

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The Valley Recap, New ATL Cast, Golden Bachelorette, Ann's Batteries · Drama, Darling: A Real Housewives Comedy Podcast

0:05
Drama, Darling Drama, Darling Drama, Darling. Hello everybody, welcome back
0:21
to Drama Darling. It's me your little bitch wife here. And uh,
0:25
Marilyn Emily is joining us from Maryland. Hi, Hey everybody, how are
0:30
you. We're doing so good. I'm so happy that you are donned and
0:34
Denham. Oh yeah, I have a denim shirt. Thank Oh my gosh,
0:39
thank you. This is uh it's also been my spring jacket. Oh
0:45
yeah, so it's in Denham when I'm at when I'm walking my nephew to
0:51
the bus stop to go see. Shout out to neighbor Nora, Nora,
0:55
what's up? Also a Darling. No are you serious? Oh my god,
1:00
nour bus stop, Nora. That's for you, babe. Yeah,
1:06
it's a little brisk here in the mornings, but Nora and I chat up.
1:08
Bravos stop. I love that. I love that. Well, thanks
1:18
for joining us, Nora. Also, thanks for I want to just talk
1:22
about some new members and some upgrades over on the Patriot. I just got
1:25
to give I got to give Courtney Sullivan a shout out. Kimberly Carr,
1:29
Tara Tracy Adams, Misty Elle, how are you? How are you?
1:36
Gina Matthews, Paolo, Oh my god, thank you Paolo. We've got
1:41
mel McClure, Cynthia Brown. We've got Tiffany Hartman, l m keeping it
1:47
cute, keeping it short and cute. We've got Kelly, Elizabeth Brooke,
1:53
Linda Allison. This is just an embarrassment of darlings have just joined over on
2:00
Patreon, Patreon dot com slash drama Darling. It's all there. You can
2:07
get the vander Palm Rules recap that Emily and I did not to toot our
2:10
own horns. But Whyna, it's pretty good. You know what I'm saying.
2:15
I put out some good content, and so vander Pump Rules is over
2:21
there, and tomorrow will be Summer House and Top Chef with the real moms
2:27
of Bravo. They'll be joining me. Also, Jersey is over there.
2:30
You can't forget about that. So now is the time to join. And
2:35
you can also get a discount if you do a yearly subscription. So there
2:38
you have it, Get all your stuff and join us in the chat over
2:42
in the Patreon. We have a ball. Joanna is always dropping some some
2:46
hot stuff in there, some hot links because she beats me to the Bravo
2:49
News. Sometimes I can't keep up with Joanna. I really can't. I
2:52
love it and I told her. She was like, I was like,
2:57
yeah, I was. You know, I gave you a shout on the
2:59
show. She's like, keep my name in your mouth. So she likes
3:02
it. She likes her shout outs. Today we're talking the Valley and I'm
3:10
just curious if anybody knows, like when this is ending, because when I
3:15
google it, it says that there are ten episodes and this is episode nine,
3:19
which if that is correct on the interwebs, that means that next week
3:23
is the finale. Is that true? And it might be, but I
3:27
don't know if this episode counted because none of the guys made a that's what
3:31
she said joke, and I don't think they count that as an episode then,
3:37
so ah, yes, yeah, so I guess we have at least
3:43
two more based on my criteria. Yeah, and I mean, geez,
3:47
I mean I'm surprised too, considering that Jesse alone hits that threshold count Like,
3:53
he hits that threshold within the first five I know, and they all
3:58
laugh like it's the first time they've ever heard it. Yeah, this is
4:02
a real and if you're saying it ironically, like you know how we would
4:10
just then it's okay, but I think they're doing it for real, real,
4:15
and that's not good. Good mm hmmmmm. Nope, And I won't
4:18
count the episode. Okay, so you're not going to count it. But
4:23
you know what makes me think that that this is the last this is the
4:28
second to last episode because the cliffhanger from tonight's episode with Michelle, you know,
4:35
yea cliffhanger. So I feel like it'll end with this big news and
4:41
the big But then again, they I don't know. I mean, they
4:44
could have I was gonna say they wouldn't land. They would have a finale
4:46
on a cast trip. They have to kind of like come back to the
4:50
valley to have there has to be an event. It's probably the producers probably
4:56
wished it would have ended at Jack's hair event because that was such a big
5:00
event. It was a blowout. Yeah, yeah, it was. I
5:03
mean, not to make a hair reference, but it was a blowout.
5:06
I mean it was amazing. Yeah, and then that felt like a finale.
5:12
You are so right, Yeah it did. There was I mean,
5:15
there was handheld shots galore, there was reps were out yeah, yeah,
5:21
it was reality Vontee's like it had that whole vibe. Yeah, but now
5:26
we're like over in Big Bear having a grand old time trying to dig up
5:30
more so. I mean, the baby moon kind of is an event,
5:38
but you don't have the whole cast like you do. Need to kind of
5:42
tie it up with everybody there, and so somebody has to come up with
5:46
an event while they're on this trip that they're going to have back in the
5:49
valley and that Kristin has to be invited to, or Kristin has to invite
5:54
Janet and Michelle. Yeah, it's gonna have to be Jasmine. I thought
6:00
you're gonna say, Jacks, Oh, it's probably gonna be their bar opening,
6:05
right do you think that the bar opening is actually Oh, now that
6:12
I think about it, seems so obvious. Yeah, that's gonna be the
6:15
There's gonna be a finale at the bar. That's good because he doesn't want
6:20
to have everything done before they open, like he's fine with just opening it
6:25
and finishing it things. Yeah, Oh my god, you're so right.
6:29
Yeah, well maybe I will find out. I don't know if you guys
6:33
are familiar with Santa, but that's where I'm recording from I don't mean to
6:39
like toot my own horn, but that's where I'm gonna serve up some dish,
6:44
serving fresh dish from from Santa Clarita. That's all I have to say.
6:51
Hot, yeah, piping hot. It is hot up here. So
6:56
listen. The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Okay, we have some news,
7:01
we have some movement. Season sixteen, we have our housewives. There's a
7:06
People exclusive. Guess who's going to be there. Okay, We've got Keny
7:12
Moore, Drew Sidora. Those are the returning joining back again, Poorsha Williams
7:21
and hold On Marleck Ibb. What keep going? Okay? And then they're
7:31
including some newbies. They include author, businesswoman and podcast host Brittany Edie,
7:40
restaurant tour and food network alone, Kelly Farrell, and Angela Oakley, wife
7:46
of NBA great Charles Oakley. Shemiah Morton Muangi, who has appeared on the
7:55
show in a guest and friend role is going to be upgraded to a full
8:01
time housewife and in a friend role will be Cynthia Bailey. Wow. Now
8:11
did you notice that I didn't say Charay Whitfield. I did? I I'm
8:18
yeah, I gotta say, for as much as Traders helped Phedra, Chara
8:22
was like so in the background that it was almost jarring. I mean that
8:31
gave you know, if I do a deep inhale in through clenched teeth,
8:37
that's really bad. Like I feel sad, Like this is how I feel
8:45
right now. Charay not coming back. But you're right, she did herself
8:48
a disservice. She did or the editors did. I don't know, but
8:52
yeah, because in my mind, yeah, like last last Atlanta season and
9:00
Charae did come pretty hard. But then in my mind I think of Traders,
9:05
so I'm like, I confuse it to them. Now. I know
9:07
you're right, and we shouldn't have to do that. Well. Production on
9:11
season fifteen, yeah, begins this month. That's really weird. It says
9:18
that the cast sets cast for season sixteen, and then in this article it
9:24
says production on season fifteen begins this month and the series premiere is set for
9:28
twenty twenty five. Uh A found a table People People magazine. So anyway,
9:37
but I am excited about these new newbies, these newcomers. I am
9:45
like, my interest is peaked, and I think this is like setting sail
9:52
in a good direction. I mean, I am fucking excited. Actually,
9:56
yeah, that's great. I still would love to see Marla Gibbs and a
10:00
Housewives cast Jeffersons in two seven. Okay, yes, of course, of
10:05
course. I'm sorry to disappoint you. That is not in here, that
10:09
is not in this announcement. My apologies. Okay, Beverly Hills, I'm
10:13
looking at you. Okay. Now, the other piece of news that I
10:18
want to report is who the Golden Bachelorette is going to be, and it
10:22
is Joan Vassos Vesos Vasos Veso Vesos vasus. I don't know, but Joan
10:31
was a former contestant on The Golden Bachelor, and she was the one,
10:37
if you watched, had to leave because her daughter was having she had just
10:41
had her daughter just had a baby, and she was having a lot of
10:43
issues and she was like, I have to go home and tend to my
10:46
daughter, like family comes first, and they Jerry, I'm sorry, Gary
10:54
spelled like Jerry. Gary and Joan had an amazing connection and so we all
10:58
felt the eight of Joan leaving like what could have been? Meanwhile, I
11:05
was following Joan on TikTok and She's one sexy lady. You know, she
11:09
is cooking on her TikTok. She's she's got a very handsome son. I
11:13
actually don't know how many kids she has, but I know the one that
11:16
was featured in a few of her tiktoks is very handsome. Oh, she
11:20
obviously has a daughter. And anyway, I was feeling like, I hope
11:28
that they make her the Bachelorette. I think she would be great, and
11:30
they did, and they did, so this is going to be very exciting.
11:35
This will be the inaugural season of the female led version of The Golden
11:41
Bachelorette. And this I don't know when it's gonna air. I know that
11:46
The Golden Bachelor, I'm sorry, I know that The Bachelorette is going to
11:50
premiere July. Like I don't say first or something like that. I don't
11:56
know what it is, uh, but I'm not And this is gonna air
11:58
on Wednesday, so like The Bachelorette will be on Mondays, and then this
12:03
will follow suit on Wednesdays. And I don't know when it will begin will
12:07
begin. I hope it's July. I really really do. So there you
12:13
go. I mean, when I think about this, I just think about
12:16
like a bunch of like my dad's at this thing just being like I don't
12:24
give a shit at this point, like huh, what does she want?
12:31
I can't what is she? What is she saying? And then a bunch
12:35
of dudes in the hot tub just talking about you know weather, you know
12:41
what? It's gonna be lit. I might actually watch this, Are you
12:46
kidding me? This is right up your alley and mine. It's gonna be
12:52
so funny. Be like a bunch of people like my trying to get their
12:58
cell phones to work and learning how to send attachments. They probably were their
13:07
devices were probably taken away from them so that most of the footage wouldn't be
13:11
that. I don't care. I don't even use my cell phone. Who's
13:16
gonna call? Are you kidding? Oh? And then if it was my
13:20
dad? I gotta get on TikTok somebody. I gotta send these I got
13:22
about I got a lot of work to do. I got eighteen forwards.
13:26
I gotta send eighteen forwards from some Some are about bears, some are about
13:35
politics. You choose. Oh gosh, they're all going to be ginned up
13:41
about the election. Yeah. Oh it's going to be good. Yeah,
13:45
Okay, I'm enn Oh yeah, my got so. Anyway, those are
13:50
really the big headlines I wanted to get into before we get into our Valley
13:56
recap. Okay, oh, one more thing. Did you see Anne,
14:00
Tom's ex assistant do a dura self commercial? Yeah, line like I'm the
14:07
one who got the batteries. Yeah. Again, I am rooting for Anne.
14:15
She's like an improviser. She's gonna get hurt. She's like, no
14:20
one's gonna stop me from from taking advantage of this, like look out.
14:26
Yeah, and the fact that Arianna has her back so hard is very cool
14:31
and honestly, at the end of the day, not that any of us
14:33
care like what Tom thinks, but I honestly think he'd be like, I
14:37
mean that's fine, Like that's cool. Like I feel like he would be
14:41
like, go ahead and make some money. Everyone else is you know,
14:45
oh yeah, also taking full credit for it. Also, like, oh,
14:48
and the reason you have everything so you owe me. I mean,
14:54
so you know this, this is me love bombing you, this is him
14:56
love bombing U. You're so commercial. I got it for you. I
15:01
got that for you, babe. Before we get into our recap of the
15:05
Valley. I have to talk about this amazing product that I absolutely love,
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wait to scrub up my hair again. Look how cute it is. Ah.
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So now let's get into the valley. Okay, yes, okay,
17:45
Emily jeresis we get we pick up? That's your name? Yeah, that's
17:53
please. I'm all ears, you're all aheadphones. I am all headphones.
18:03
Kristen's James May event and it's friends and family only. Jackson just made the
18:10
announcement with his daddy backpack on where he was like, and you're not invited,
18:15
and and he's speaking to Kristin and Luke and Zach and Zach's crying and
18:19
he's like, I defended Janet over a thousand times again. Like the fact
18:25
that her name is Janet. It's just such an old school name. You
18:26
just don't hear it anymore. So for someone to be bitching and crying about
18:30
someone named Janet gets me. I love it, gets me right in the
18:37
heart. I love it. I don't know what it's a Janet fucking Janet,
18:41
you know. I just like being mad at Janet, and Janet is
18:44
pissing me off so bad, you guys that I'm so happy to jump on
18:48
this mad at Janet. Jane. Oh, Janet, damn it, Janet,
18:55
damn it jan Yeah, yeah, no, I yeah. I started
19:00
the season on board with Janet, and I have jumped off the train.
19:04
Oh and it was moving fast and I didn't care. Yeah, like I
19:10
think, because like I like Dody and I know that Doty's not perfect,
19:15
but I don't appreciate Janet just thinking she can put all her shit into the
19:19
doughty bag and think that no one's gonna know. Hmm, thank you,
19:26
yeah, thank you. I mean Zach crying, Kristen crying and then he's
19:32
collateral damage and Zach being like in his confessional, being like Janet is every
19:37
type of mean girl there is she but she is and she has no leg
19:47
to stand on, like to be making these calls to oh, okay,
19:52
well we'll keep moving on because we had to get to the other stuff.
19:56
But okay, well why don't we just wy don't we skip to Simon is
20:03
trying to get involved and Jasmond checks him so hard, and I was so
20:08
that was unexpected. Yeah are you filming? Which I still even like looking
20:15
back, like I don't know what she was seeing because we didn't see his
20:18
whole like torso kind of thing. Yeah, but like, I was so
20:22
glad she called it out. And I'm like, Simon Usley's Oh, Ramon
20:30
was one hundred percent recording that shit. Whether it was an audio file,
20:33
voice memos or he straight up had his camera up and running. He could
20:37
have been live on Instagram. I don't know, but he was definitely doing
20:41
something. So then when we were going and and Simon and Jared go and
20:45
pack with Janet and they they have their powow and Janet's like, I'm so
20:51
confused why Kristen was crying and and about her not being invited to my baby
20:59
moon. I mean, it's like, what, Meanwhile, Janet didn't invite
21:03
those two, Simon and the her other mid Jared, You're right, yeah,
21:10
So I'm like, Janet, you're so rude. She's so rude.
21:14
She also has no clue, Janet what a baby moon is, because when
21:18
she's she was like, well, I guess I'll just deal that head on.
21:22
It's like, bitch, you had a chance to deal with this head
21:25
on a long time ago and you chose not to. She's like, I
21:26
guess I'll just call him right now, sit down, speaker, And then
21:30
those guys sit on the corner and they're just like what and their responses.
21:34
This whole scene was hilarious to me. It was and hilarious at the same
21:38
time. I mean, they're actively playing trades and she didn't get one of
21:42
the words. Jarrett was like, hang, yeah, he was doing it
21:48
so fast. She's like game show, Like what one word, Paul.
22:00
It's the first word, Paul, one syllable baby hand, pointing to blood
22:07
brothers. Blood brothers. So yeah. So she's like, I guess I'll
22:11
just call them on the phone and just deal with it head on. And
22:15
those two guys are like, well, we're papa a squat and they sit
22:18
down and then and then he's like, She's like, yeah, Hi,
22:22
how you doing. He's like, I don't understand why I was excluded.
22:26
I mean you can just see him just standing up and just pacing back and
22:29
forth. I was excluded from your friend trip. And she goes, it's
22:33
not a friendship, it's a baby moon, and I was like, oh,
22:38
fucking kill you. I know who. I'm like. A baby moon
22:45
is when two people go away together alone because it's the last I will be
22:51
alone. Yes, much like a honey moon. That's where they get the
22:56
name Jack and so she doesn't, and then she's like uh, and then
23:03
he says, I don't appreciate your pink booted friend recording me talking. And
23:07
they're like, oh, gasping in the corner, and his face was like
23:12
busted. He was like gulp. I mean, you could totally tell he
23:17
knew that he was being called out and he knew he recorded, but he
23:22
also didn't care. Because this is where I'm like, Janet, you think
23:26
you can just step onto this show and be the head bitch and charge in
23:32
the valley like we're not gonna see your strings. We can see through your
23:37
bullshit. Yeah, okay that that drives me nuts. And she's fresh to
23:44
reality TV. She's probably sat there and watched her good pal Dody do all
23:49
this stuff and she was like, I'm going to do it so much better,
23:53
and Andy, frag you're doing now. You don't know what you're doing.
23:57
I mean, if anything, blame this on baby brain, Like I
24:03
don't know how reality TV works and I'm making all the wrong choices because I
24:07
have baby brain. Like that's the thing that you need to be leaning into
24:11
right now. Or I mean, I wish they had a reunion, but
24:14
they don't. That's what she could say at the reunion, and then Janet's
24:18
like, uh, sounds like you're entitled to come to my baby moon.
24:22
I was like, I am, I'm going to lose my mind. Well,
24:27
her only redeeming thing is that Zach. We still don't know to what
24:33
extent, remember because Zach, there's maybe possibly the she's racist comment that Zach
24:40
came from Zach, so that they did a bit of a flashback to that
24:44
to be like, what is the origin of why she's weird with Zach,
24:48
and they flashed back to Michelle's party, So I thought like, okay,
24:52
well, maybe there is that lingering thing that she has to deal with,
24:56
but none of her other behavior is appealing to me. In the last four
25:02
episodes, she's just slowly unraveling, and just like any bad move she makes,
25:07
she's like, good, Kristen did it. It's Kristin. But also
25:11
she's like, yeah, same thing. So it seems like they've had time,
25:17
Zach and Janet have had time to like somehow work things out to where
25:22
they're actually in a good place, because that's how Zack saw it. And
25:26
she was explaining to Jasmine on the boat and Big Bear like, no,
25:33
I was actually starting from square one with him, And I'm like, well,
25:38
even if you're starting from square one with him, he can still come
25:42
on the trip if you guys are actually cool, because there's no reason,
25:47
like this is not an intimate gathering of people. And he could sleep in
25:52
one of the ten beds in Jesse and Michelle's room that they should have given
25:56
to Danny and Nia because they have their kids with them. Well anyway that
26:03
they probably had other rooms that were just as big with as many beds,
26:06
like you know, Big Bear and Zach could have slept in each of those,
26:10
each of those there you go. Now Simon in what's his head could
26:14
have also gone. But Simon Simon in head, his name is Jared Jared
26:18
lips calm here. He's a very talented makeup artist and I love him.
26:23
I'm not disagreeing with you, I just personally personally remember his name today.
26:30
Oh do your baby brain, maybe you'd like to disinvite me to your baby
26:36
moon, Emily. Can we just before we continue to go to Big Bear,
26:41
we have to talk about Jesse coming back from the retreat. Oh my
26:45
god, the drama that he like just brought himself up those stairs and like
26:53
presented himself as a new man with a knit cap and just the heavy eating
27:00
in his wife's ears. And I'd be like, this is it. We're
27:04
getting divorced because I don't like this personality either. In fact, this is
27:11
worse. Please stop grabbing my face, Stop grabbing your tongue down my throat.
27:17
What is happening? You know what it is? Too like? Do
27:22
you remember Eden Sasoon on Beverly Hills, How she had those really long hugs
27:27
that were just too much. A beat too long? Yep, yeah,
27:32
several beats too long, and then like she would kind of cradle the back
27:37
of your head. That's too intimate, you know. Like that was that
27:45
he was giving me Eaeden Sassoon vibes. I was like, have you and
27:49
Eden Sessoon's bodies just completely somehow intertwined. She was part of the workshop.
27:56
She did ayahuasca and then worked on hugs, all right, workshop herself from
28:07
the ayahuasca. While we're hugging everybody, I grabbed the back of the head
28:12
and hold and hold palm, palm of the hand, back of the head.
28:18
There you go. I could not stop looking at that bed swing.
28:23
That was awesome that she was on that porch is amazing. Yes, I
28:30
love that. Just show me a wide shot of that. Yeah, Like,
28:34
don't we don't need to close up of that knitcap and him grabbing her
28:37
face and heavily breathing into her ear. I would be like, get Brett,
28:42
get the fuck off me? What are you doing? That's so annoying.
28:48
And also because the cameras were rolling, it must have felt so like,
28:52
what is happening right now? So gross? Yeah, so gross?
28:57
And I just loved hearing all about it though. It's like this actually was
29:03
really insightful when he said, like he went into this retreat completely open minded,
29:10
and that's unlike him because and this is what he said, I quote,
29:14
I go into every situation like therapy or what have you, like,
29:18
how can I manipulate this? Yeah? Wow, Yes, what a statement.
29:26
First of all, kudos to him for being completely honest and transparent about
29:30
that. I've never heard anyone just blatantly be that honest, because like,
29:36
that's pretty terrifying. I mean I was thinking about that for my own self.
29:40
I'm like, if I go into a situation, I end up by
29:44
default manipulating it. It's not intentional, it's it's based on something else or
29:51
I mean, I don't even know. I'm not quite sure what I'm saying.
29:53
My point is, I don't think I've ever gone into a situation thinking
29:57
to myself, how can I manipulate this? You know what I mean?
30:00
Yeah, yeah, no, it's a good point, I think, especially,
30:04
but I think people do it, especially if they're being forced into a
30:10
self help situation. Okay, never I feel like that. And maybe in
30:15
his case, that's the only time he's felt that he to do it,
30:18
if he's like has to do it, So okay, that's so, maybe
30:22
that's what it is, all right, that makes more sense. But then
30:25
he explains what's going on, plant based medicine mixed with hard core meditation.
30:32
And then he explains what happened when he took these this medicine. Everybody turned
30:37
into energy, He saw a demon, he died. He got to the
30:41
editors. Yeah, absolutely, he got some apple juice, and then he
30:45
realized that Jesse is enough and he was blind and now we can see with
30:52
that. Let me pause, I got to let my cat out of the
30:53
store, out of this room. Okay, so he said I was blind
30:57
and now I can see, Well, I really want to do the whole
31:03
shroom thing in terms of having like the guided meditation and self journey. I
31:11
like, I don't know if I'm sure. The darlings know people that have
31:15
done it, and everyone I know that it's done. It has had such
31:18
a great outcome. So now I'm like totally sold. Well until I watched
31:25
Jesse. Oh okay, I was gonna say, but but isn't is ayahuasca
31:30
the same as mushrooms? I'm sorry, it's it's I mean, it's all
31:33
in that same family. It's it's different, but it's I it's my understanding
31:40
that it's all in the same And so like you in terms of like a
31:45
psychedelic that's used, and there is research that shows the benefits in terms of
31:52
like PTSD and that kind of thing. But yes, yeah, and like
31:56
there's therapists in California that will do it, but they can't get you the
32:01
shrooms. You've got to get it yourself. You know. Another treatment that
32:07
people are having a lot of success with this is sponsored This podcast is sponsored
32:12
by ketamine. Ketmine. Yeah, go to your little I'm kidding, it's
32:15
not sponsored by ketamine, but it is the ketamine thing. And you go
32:21
to a clinic, and they walk you through it. And I was actually
32:27
what I was going through TikTok the other night, and I landed on it
32:30
was somebody who worked in a ketemine clinic, and it was essentially like a
32:37
video of what it would be like. You don't see the person having the
32:40
experience. You see the woman coming in the guide, sitting down and talking
32:45
to the person who's going to do it, and you see her explaining how
32:51
it's going to be a safe space, what she's going to be in the
32:54
room, what's going to happen when the ride is over, and that some
33:00
people like to share, some people just want to sit in silence, and
33:02
like her whole shpiel, right, And it's basically to promote this clinic,
33:07
and she did such a great job, like you're like, oh my god,
33:10
I want to hang out with it, Like I would totally do this
33:13
with this lady. And the point being is that so many people have found
33:20
that to be extremely helpful. And I went to the comments and I saw
33:23
people like being like that changed my life. It's helped me with my depression,
33:29
it's helped me with my PTSD. And then one person said, y'all
33:34
are crazy in a room with somebody. I used to take this shit double
33:38
the amount and rage at a club with all my friends, and it was
33:45
just like, you know, you see these comments pop up and you just
33:49
you just laugh. You gotta laugh, you know. That's what she said,
33:52
right, there's a now, Amy, Yeah, that's what she said.
33:55
Amy, go to your room about what you just did while you're in
34:02
there. There's a great series on Netflix. It was by Michael Pollock.
34:06
Uh that is about all this stuff, all these yeah, Michael Polland it's
34:15
uh, it's I forget the name of it, but it's just about psychedelics,
34:21
pollen. Tracy, yes, as in the he wrote the book about
34:29
eating note not eating meat on Mondays or whatever. He's he's like he's been
34:34
around for like ten years. He's anyway, he has this documentary right Netflix.
34:37
Tracy Pollend's brother, by the way, Michael Chick Fox's brother in law.
34:42
Anyway, keep going, my god, Emily, But Michael Polland used
34:51
to be like Oprah, like you're just getting to know us. If this
34:54
is your first foray into drama, darling, you must know our darling loves
35:00
the eighties, loves family ties, and tends to I mean you name it,
35:05
she will find a way. And it's not even intentional. It's it's
35:09
not even it's not even intentional. There's no direct reason that she shoehorns it
35:15
in. She does a shoehorn in it somehow masterfully weaves itself into our conversation.
35:22
And there's a perfect example. And I blame Kristen dodiem me too,
35:30
Miami. By the way, correction early yes my podcast, Oh I know,
35:37
I mentioned that the Golden Girls were in their eighties, and I as
35:42
I'm saying it, I was like, they were not in their fucking eighties,
35:45
But I'd never We moved on quick and I didn't correct it. I
35:49
know how old the Golden Girls were? Okay, for the record, because
35:52
we did get a lot of messages, did we really? Oh yeah,
35:57
people were a lot of people. So for the record, I'm not gonna
36:00
say em like, can you please say how old they were on the show
36:06
and how old they were in real life? Shit? I mean we did.
36:09
We got messages about this because what I was saying, okay, like
36:14
I just breezed through age. But like stell Getty was was the youngest,
36:20
even though she played the old we are so off the Valley Path right now,
36:23
I'm just correcting you. We're in Santa Clarita if you want to know're
36:29
familiar with Santa Clarita all the way up the five. Here we are,
36:34
this is where the Golden Girls conversations happened. Okay, fifty so some of
36:40
them they were fifty. Yeah, in real life they were not in their
36:45
eighties as I risked through, but they were playing like they were in their
36:51
what seventies? Yeah, I think so. I mean that's wild well,
36:59
and also, like in the eighties, it does feel like we are much
37:02
younger now, but every generation probably thinks that they're so much younger than their
37:07
parents were at their age. So I don't know. Age is like a
37:10
construct. This is something I learned when I did shrooms with Jesse, and
37:15
like age is enough. I'm holding your face metaphorically speaking. Yeah, well,
37:22
I'm sorry to any darlings I offended with my No, no one's offended.
37:28
People love people love that shit. They love to tell you I'm here
37:31
for it. We're here for as I said it, I knew it was
37:35
wrong, and then we moved on. We just we don't have time.
37:38
I'm kidding, clearly, we do so they drive up to Big Bear and
37:46
Jasmine's partner Melissa cannot make it because of work, and I was very disappointed
37:51
about that, and maybe she's not like going to be filming for this.
37:53
But you know, the second season, since it has been renewed, I
37:57
hope that we get more of them as a couple. Yeah. So,
38:00
and then we get this weird thing about Jesse wanting Michelle to actually wear real
38:05
lingerie to this party that they're having there of this lingerie party, and oh
38:09
yeah, and she's like, we got in a fight, and then the
38:12
flashback that was not a fight. She's like, Jesse and I got it.
38:15
I thought he changed, but then we got in a fight and about
38:19
this lingerie, and the flashback was just to be like, eh, that
38:27
was it. I was like, that's not a fight. I want to
38:30
speak to the drive up to Big Bear and Brittany being sick. Okay,
38:36
eventually she threw up on the way back from that from the lake. If
38:40
you aren't familiar with driving up that very very long mountain, which it's like
38:49
two mile is it like a mile or two it's like a mile up to
38:52
Lake Arrowhead, and I think it's an additional mile up to Big Bear.
38:57
Yeah. So that being said, when I have gone to Lake Arrowhead,
39:04
stayed up there in a house twice now, and we've both times driven from
39:08
that house to a sled park that is super duper close to Big Bear,
39:15
the winding roads. Maddie got completely carsick, puked everywhere. I almost threw
39:21
up everywhere. People get sick up there going up that road more than they
39:29
don't get sick were We visited another house people who own a house up there
39:32
and they lease it out. They were like every single time people come up
39:37
to visit us, by the time they get up the mountain were spraying down
39:40
their car like that's how frequent it happens. So this is Britney getting sick
39:46
does not surprise me at all. She was sitting in the backseat, that's
39:51
hellish. I was very concerned with Jasmine. She was the very way way
39:54
back and she was looking down at her phone. I can't believe. I
39:59
mean, they get car sick, but I mean, like I don't get
40:01
carsick, So it just knock on what it just doesn't happen shows by every
40:07
Thank you for listening. How dare you I want to go her? Ride?
40:15
You ride in Dina I flipped anyway, No, I so I.
40:24
But at the same time, if I did get carsick, I would want
40:29
to be married to Jacks because he would really take care of me. What
40:34
an asshole? Know? Yeah, And you know what, if you don't
40:37
get carsick and you don't understand the feeling, it just feels like you have
40:42
a stomach bug and you want to throw up. So have a little compassion.
40:45
But it's very common, and Brittany having her issues very interesting to find
40:50
out that she had her gallbladder out. That is a huge piece of the
40:52
puzzle, you know, I mean, I, hello, you can't,
40:58
like, first of all, you can't do the same things that you did
41:01
before you add your gallbladder out. You kind of have to, you know,
41:06
walk a fine line. Sometimes. I'm not saying you can't enjoy life
41:08
and you can't like still eat foods you enjoy, but a lot of the
41:14
times it can backfire on you when you least expect it. Because I remember
41:17
my mom had her gallbladder out, and I remember her being like, yeah,
41:21
I'm not gonna be able to eat a lot of fat or have this
41:23
or have that, and she actually eats pretty much what she wants. But
41:28
she eats very healthy, you know, but you have to be real careful.
41:34
Yeah, I mean I guess like, look, hey, I am
41:37
empathetic. I got my own problems. I'm not judging your car sickness buddies
41:44
and you, but any whims I know, suck it up. Meanwhile,
41:52
this show should be sponsored by Jingins. These if you guys ever ever are
42:00
going on a trip, we'll just have them anyway. Okay, these are
42:02
ginger like can ginger lozenges. These will save your life travel sickness, planes,
42:09
trains, automobiles, uphills downhills. You're giving me carning sickness now,
42:16
flashing your hand in that candy, back and forth, back and forth.
42:22
I know, Okay, let's move on. So I just thought, you
42:29
know, it makes sense why she got sick, and I felt so bad
42:31
for her and the fact that she had to tell those ladies in the car,
42:36
like Dotail Jakes, I just peeped out the door weed, you know,
42:39
because he just gonna yell at me. I mean, it's just so
42:43
sad, I know, and awful. I love Brittany and I really hope
42:50
that whatever this is that makes her attracted to someone like Jack's she can crack
42:58
that and move to on. Move for you to say out of the valley,
43:05
you're gonna say never, Oh my god, never. That was a
43:09
close one to your lord all. I don't know if you guys are familiar
43:16
with Santa Clarita, you can come on up here, Britt, I will
43:20
be your bestie. Oh yeah, that would be cool. She could.
43:23
She would do she that's the thing, like, she would do great wherever
43:28
she lived. She's so cool. She liked me. I loved her beachwear
43:32
with her little like beach cover up. Yeah, me too. So they
43:38
they get to the Big Bear House. We see Jesse. He's got his
43:42
Bordeaux and his drip coffee maker. Not gonna lie I respect I'm gonna I
43:49
respect you good. Yeah, well not with a suitcase of booze. But
43:53
my coffee. Love it, love it. I have no problem with that.
43:57
I I was like, Jesse scored some points with me. Bring bring
44:01
your high end stuff, bring the things that make you happy. Happy about
44:06
that. Na brings her twins and her nanny, I mean Danny and Nia
44:10
do. And then how what did you think about Janet giving Jacks that T
44:15
shirt from him almost drowning in the lake. Weird help. Weird, Yeah,
44:22
because if you've ever been in that situation and I have where you get
44:25
in and you're like, oh fuck, it still is very like uh like
44:31
I think about it sometimes and it like jars me awake from sleep. He
44:36
probably had some PTSD. Yeah, so for her to I just you know,
44:42
I thought it was a weird move of all the things that you could
44:45
make a joke about. And I get like, like he's sitting like what
44:50
if he did drown, Like, well then I definitely don't get him a
44:53
T shirt. Then Okay, well that's probably good advice, but it is
44:58
very weird, like he's in the lake. It's a picture of him in
45:00
the lake, and I know everyone thinks that's ha ha haa so funny,
45:02
and like Jack's is such a he acts like such a douche and like he's
45:07
such a big guy and then he needed help. It's like, well,
45:08
actually, I don't know. I just I do have empathy for that situation
45:14
and that's terrifying. Yes, I don't know. I heard that was a
45:20
weird choice. Whatever, Janet and your T shirts, yeah, your fast
45:24
passion Janet. No Ah busted. So now the guys are just sitting at
45:34
the lake. The girls go on the pontoon boat, and this is where
45:37
Jasmine basically reacts like reenacts Simon's spying, which was very funny and Janet we
45:45
kind of already talked about this, but Jasmine calling her out for it and
45:50
then being like, but to send Jax with the message that he's not invited,
45:52
Like, don't you think you made a mistake by not addressing it?
45:57
And Janet does say, yes, I guess that's what well, after she
46:00
weirdly snapped the Jasmine Yeah, I didn't like that either. I'm telling you,
46:07
jan it is not on my good side this week. No. No,
46:12
she's been off my good side for like three episodes, and it's not
46:17
like it's irreversible. I'll probably end this season being okay with her because again,
46:22
like pregnancy, does I get that there's a lot going on they pregnancy
46:28
makes you give bad T shirt gifts? Remember the most terrifying moment of your
46:34
life? Hang on wear it because we're kind of near that we're gonna be
46:38
going to that lake. So isn't that funny? Say Jacks? I love
46:46
that. Jacks was like, I'm pissed drunk on a Monday, you know,
46:50
because they plan these trips and it is so perfect, like of course
46:52
they got this great house on an Airbnb on a Monday afternoon. It's like,
46:57
right, what a quaint into baby moon? You know? Yeah,
47:05
and then I kind of did love that Someone's like, what's that on Jesse's
47:08
neck? And then I think it was Jackson said that's a two thousand and
47:13
five tattoo? And then someone's like, looks really bad, So what what
47:17
is his tattoo? Exactly? I would. I guess it's justin Timberlake album.
47:23
Like, I don't know what was in two thousand and five. I
47:27
know, I'm like, Amanda Bynes, was it prez Hilton dot com?
47:32
Like what was going on in two thousand pres Hilton? So we'd really I
47:37
felt disappointed by the editors of that that we didn't get. I mean,
47:42
we're going to talk about a tattoo. Did I miss it? And I
47:44
missed the shot? Right? But isn't there something about Mary? No?
47:51
Something about her? Yeah, something about Yeah, it was just something about
47:54
mary tattoo. That's even pre No I was saying, isn't it. Isn't
47:58
it something about her? Her tattoo? It's the awning. Ye oh,
48:06
yellow and white, that's I got torn down. Jesse has a yellow and
48:09
white awning tattoo on the back of his neck. It was such a coincidence
48:15
that he got it in two thousand and five. How weird? Well,
48:20
I think he uh, I don't know. There was some weird thing with
48:22
tattoo art and it being copywritten or something like that. Remember, like some
48:29
people trademark their tattoos. I cannot imagine that happened with him. So I
48:32
don't know why we didn't see it. Okay, Well, Jacks is like,
48:39
guys, guys, Jesse still doesn't know that. Christen told me that
48:46
Michelle was texting somebody on this on the side, and I just don't even
48:51
know what to do with myself. Am I right? That's what she said?
48:57
And then Jason's like, oh no, you know what, that was
49:01
his opportunity to say it right there. Anyone could have said that's what she
49:06
said. Rather they didn't. And then Jason stands up like a man and
49:08
he's like, why are we sneaking around like little bitches? Why don't we
49:14
do something about this? Men? You know? And then Jackson's like,
49:17
oh, I don't know. I mean that would cause a problem. I
49:22
don't know if we shouldn't do that. So and then on the pond,
49:28
Oh, we already talked about the pontoon. But blah blah blah. Now
49:30
everyone's on the beach. Jesse is we're gonna say something before I move?
49:34
Yeah, can you okay explain to me? I just I'm so unraveled in
49:40
terms of the nucleus because there's that text thread that would hit the internet where
49:45
it's like clearly Dody was like we were filming. I don't know what you're
49:49
talking about. I didn't know about this. So where where what is the
49:54
nucleus where the story came from? Because now Jack's talking about a girl's night
50:00
months ago, like later in the episode we never even saw, right,
50:06
It is my understanding that Dodie was got this information from Brittany and Jack's right.
50:16
Yeah, maybe Michelle confirmed it to Doty, but Doty is not the
50:21
original source. You're right, The sources keep changing. Yes, yes he
50:25
Didny introduced a whole other source, which was a girls' night. I mean
50:30
it was like it originated that Kristin heard it from. Well, Kristin told
50:36
us in her confessional that she heard it from Michelle and then Jet and then
50:39
Jack said that he heard this and that she should say something, and she's
50:47
like, no, Brittany told me that, and so now we don't really
50:52
know. We don't. And then they had that uh, Dody and Jack's
50:55
had that lunch episode one, and I think that's where the text came from.
51:01
Hey, you bought it up on camera. I didn't. I don't
51:05
even know what you're talking about. Remember that that screen grab that got posted.
51:09
Yeah, well she said we are filming, meaning I think she meant
51:15
I'm in the middle of filming right now. I have to go right.
51:17
Wow, She alluded to like, I don't know what you're talking about.
51:22
I didn't know what you were talking about, right right, and that they
51:25
were filming at that time. Yeah, no, I mean Emily, Emily,
51:30
Emily, Emily, you're bringing up all the right questions and we Jamie
51:34
Yamie, Yamie, Emily, you got all the right questions. You're asking
51:38
all the right questions, and uh, you know what, we don't have
51:42
the answers. If anyone ever needed a fucking reunion, it is Doty right
51:46
now, Like, give her just her there. We need just go on
51:52
Instagram live and have each cast member join doty so she can have it cast
51:59
member and have them tell their story. And I've been a the gecko and
52:05
the gecko too, have that gecko in there. So they're on the beach.
52:12
Jesse is super drunk and like getting really physical and uh oh, he's
52:17
the worst kind of drunk. I hate that kind of drunk. Hate him,
52:22
sorry, the kind that's like, oh my god, I'm so sorry
52:23
I strangled you. You're offended your strength, like really physical and yeah,
52:30
this is bad. He heard his wife's nose. He doesn't even realize it,
52:36
and then you have the problem. Yeah, oh yeah, it's everybody
52:38
else. Yeah. And while he's like a loose can, literally a loose
52:44
cannon on that beach, I mean, knocking shit over on a Monday.
52:46
It's it's bleak, you know. For Jacks to put a time stamp on
52:52
it is very transparent of him, and I appreciate that, but at the
52:55
same time, it takes me out of being like these fucking lose because I'm
53:06
like thinking to myself, how could I justify Like I don't know. Then
53:10
again, if you're on vacation, you're on vacation. It doesn't matter what
53:14
day. It is, you know, I mean, I had a whole
53:15
thing whatever, the point is, he's weird. And then Jack's Brittany pulls
53:22
up a video of like from the Nanny. She's like, oh my god,
53:29
poor Cruz, this is breaking the homework. Oh god, well by
53:32
crazy and he's just crying during his swiming lesson, and it is. I
53:37
mean, I honestly kind of felt the way Jack's was feeling, in the
53:42
sense that I'm like, fucking turn it off. I can't. I'm trying
53:45
to be I'm trying to have my Monday afternoon vacation. But awe, you
53:51
did not. You would I did, you would have just swapted the phone
53:54
out of brand Oh no, no, no, not the way he not
53:57
the way he handled it. He's such and he's beyond a bully in an
54:01
asshole. And I hate the way he talks to Brady. But I did
54:07
feel like this is triggering as a parent. I understood her point of view
54:13
and I understood his, and they were on too, completely different in two
54:16
completely different worlds. But I was like, if I was out and I
54:21
had finally disconnected from thinking about my child, and I'm on vacation and I'm
54:27
having a good time and not only that, but I'm also working, you
54:30
know. But then again, it is about family, so there's that.
54:32
But and then Brett pulls up a video from home and it's Maddie just screaming
54:39
her face off. Why would the nanny said that, Yeah, that's actually
54:45
a really a better question to be asking. Yeah, like you want to
54:52
just be like, my kid's doing great with this person. Yeah, my
54:57
kid is melting down with this person. Oh my god, You're right.
55:00
That is such a bad choice on the nanny's part. Yeah, so I
55:07
would just be like, what are you great? Now? I would run
55:10
over there, and I would not snatch the phone away to put it away.
55:15
I would probably snatch the phone to look and see what the problem is.
55:19
I'd be getting my phone calling. I would then the whole day would
55:22
be half the day would be ruined because I'd be focusing on that, and
55:24
I would need to like talk to my child and make sure that they were
55:27
okay in order for me to calm back down again. It would be a
55:30
whole thing unraveling. Yeah, So in a way, I kind of was
55:34
like, I understood why he got triggered by that, But boy, is
55:38
he immedia gets triggered by everything he needs to get as an asshole. And
55:45
then and then in terms of like Brittany, she sent a video. Of
55:50
course she's gonna watch it. She wants to see what the updates are.
55:52
And it's a crying video. So it's like here she is, she's in
55:57
it, and she's like, what's wrong with about by? Well, you
56:00
know, of course she's gonna watch it. There was a and there was
56:04
like ten There was a lot of videos, I mean sweet sweet, so
56:07
yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot. So I didn't understand that either,
56:12
thank you. Yeah, But I'm not a parent, So maybe that's
56:15
what you do, Like maybe you get ten videos from the nanny and I
56:20
don't know of varying emotions. I don't know, maybe the nanny maybe they've
56:24
already had a full day of like events. But again, don't send one
56:29
with a with a child screaming and crying? No? And would you send?
56:32
Do people send that many videos? Is that a thing? Does that?
56:37
Is that what nannies do? I mean I did. I've never had
56:40
a nanny. Nanny like I've had babysitters here and there, and like they
56:45
will send a quick picture or a quick video. But that's oh yeah,
56:47
yeah, nothing like not several, but I've never like gone away and left
56:52
my child overnight with somebody else. Yeah, okay, this was that the
56:59
afternoon that they left, and there was a yeah, the feature length film,
57:04
yeah, sent to them. So anyway, okay, okay, So
57:08
anyway, what happened between Danny and Jesse that on the car ride back home
57:15
to the house that Jesse was like, I already apologize, we should the
57:19
fuck up. It was a strangling Oh it was the trait, that's the
57:23
but good question because I had to go back and look, and that's what
57:27
I thought it was. It has to be the backwards thing around his neck.
57:30
I thought it has to be. I think you're right, because they
57:34
did show that again. Yeah all right. So then Jesse clearly hasn't changed
57:39
one bit because he's like, oh, you apologize, shout the fuck up,
57:42
and then he goes storms off drunk, and now we have Jackson Michelle
57:49
and he's setting this up. He's like, oh gosh, I got it.
57:51
I mean, we got it. We've really just got to talk,
57:52
like we got to have a talk because Kristen told me this thing, like
57:54
I don't even know let's get some margarita's and so they sit down. Let's
58:00
give me a blanket. I'm Jack's. You sit there in a bikini top
58:04
and tell me how cold you are ten times. I'll just be in this
58:07
blanket. Yeah, you're right. Why did he not give that to her?
58:14
He's opening amy, he's raising a child, he's very stressed out from
58:19
that video that he heard. I mean, he's got the excuses. So
58:24
he's like, oh see, here's a big gret. You know, Kristin
58:28
was drunk and you know, nobody can believe her. And but she said,
58:34
Michelle's texting a person on the side. And then Michelle's like, I
58:37
did tell her that I met this celebrity and I was texting with him and
58:40
I had coffee with him one morning. And then Jackson is like, well,
58:46
she told me that you were texting him sexy pictures of yourself. And
58:51
then we cut to a line that doesn't make sense with the continuity, because
58:57
she's like, she is right, I have texted multiple people. Yes,
59:02
yeah, I agree that was a weird yes, yeah, okay, and
59:07
sent them and sent them pictures. She said the pictures. Yeah, she
59:12
said, catch Oh wait, maybe maybe that's coming up. Oh maybe that's
59:16
in the trailer for the next episode. Okay, I wrote down, she
59:22
is right. I have texted multiple people. Yeah, I I maybe I
59:28
will go back, but yeah, I mean there there is that there is
59:31
a there is a reveal there. She did admit something, but I can't
59:37
remember if it's preview for the next week. And maybe I'm she's gonna be
59:39
like she is right. I have texted multiple people who who's homes I'm interested
59:45
in selling. Yeah, but then there was something about the naked pictures or
59:50
the sexy pictures or something like that. Yeah, and then then Jesse's like
59:57
having a mouthdown. Oh boy, okay, yeah. Well, before we
1:00:00
wrap up this episode of The Valley, you know, we talk about Kristen
1:00:05
and how much we stand her on the show, and we had you know,
1:00:09
her back home not a part of this, and she you know,
1:00:16
we have a scene with she and Luke and they're pre marital counselor and asked
1:00:23
them about you know, their living situation, their money, their families,
1:00:27
their support system. There. Luke and Dody have not had one conversation ever,
1:00:31
apparently, except for about Gekofu Geka. Well, you know that's priority
1:00:36
they're taking care of the baby that they have now, and that's important and
1:00:38
for them to just be like Luke's like, I don't want to be here
1:00:42
long term, and I don't trust any of the support system that she has
1:00:46
around her, because you know, they're all on the show The Valley and
1:00:51
they're full of drama. And then Christen's like, I don't want to live
1:00:53
in Colorado in the middle of nowhere, But then again, by the way
1:00:58
my friends are treating me, maybe I do. Yeah, So that's that.
1:01:02
Well. I do think in the end that they should live in both
1:01:07
places, because I do think that Colorado would be great for her. But
1:01:12
at the same time, she needs a show, so they got to come
1:01:14
back and work. I mean, she's to work. She gotta work.
1:01:16
I can't imagine, you know, Kristen not being in Hollywood, because so
1:01:22
much of her identity as a reality star star is like here, and that
1:01:30
would just be such culture shock for her. I think she would be unhappy,
1:01:32
and I think that she would feel so disconnected unless she had a real
1:01:38
like unless she went on a retreat with Jesse and became a completely different person
1:01:44
and then was able to like get rid of ego and feel settled with having
1:01:49
raising a family outside of the spotlight and just being herself alone outside of television.
1:01:54
And I don't know if she's gonna want to do that, but they
1:02:00
could have a decent house in Colorado and you know, and then come back
1:02:06
and film in La for a little while until the five years. Yeah,
1:02:12
and then by then, who knows what's up, maybe that's been off show.
1:02:15
They are filming in the summertime. Then it would work out perfect with
1:02:19
school skiffles. So yeah, yeah, all right, we'll we figured it
1:02:22
out. We talked about their money and family and where they're going to live.
1:02:29
They haven't What does Luke do again for a living? I can't remember.
1:02:34
Yeah, yeah, okay, I don't remember. I have no idea,
1:02:40
no idea. I totally forget. Okay, he does have a job
1:02:45
though, I know that, Yes, okay, Emily, all right,
1:02:50
Emily, all right, darling, say thank you so much for listening.
1:02:52
Just remember the Patreon is always there for you to go to, and you
1:02:55
can even join as a free member and just kind of like, you know,
1:03:00
kick it over there and you know, sniff around and like see what's
1:03:05
up. At some point I'll offer some free trials, not right the second,
1:03:08
but I will. And that's patreon dot com slash drama Darling. You
1:03:14
can follow Emily Dress at M desis. That's E. M. Deresis on
1:03:19
Instagram and uh, we'll be over on the Patreon tomorrow a summerhouse and top
1:03:23
chef. Bye bye bye Emily, Emily Hey, yay me? Yeah yeah
1:03:31
yeah, huh Drama Darling