Latest / Parent's Talk with Francine Juhlin / EPISODE 11: Rebuilding Trust & Family After Rehab - The Real Challenge

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EPISODE 11: Rebuilding Trust & Family After Rehab - The Real Challenge · Parent's Talk with Francine Juhlin

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hello.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: This is Francine Julien, the founder of Parents Talk and
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: the Confidence Club for Kids. We're here giving parents tits
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: and tricks for raising confident kids today so we don't
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: have to fix broken adults tomorrow. And today I have
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: with me a very special guest, because today he's going
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  Speaker 2: to talk about the men in your life and the
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: young boys in your life and how we could protect
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: them from addiction and how we can help them overcome
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: addiction if that's the path they're on right now. Michael
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Olsen is the author of the book The Life Forge. Michael,
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: will you introduce yourself to the listeners please?
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  Speaker 3: Oh sure, Thank you very much. I appreciate the opportunity.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: My name is Michael Olson. I am the owner of
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  Speaker 3: a company called The Life Forge. As was mentioned, I
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: wrote a book called Life Forge, and that book is
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: really about my personal journey of dealing with addiction, suffering
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: horrible consequences from it, but more importantly, the process to
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: overcome those addictions and create a better life afterwards.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: When you tell us some of your story that helped
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  Speaker 2: you or made you want to develop this process.
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  Speaker 3: The main part of the story is that my addictions
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  Speaker 3: not only destroyed my family but landed me in prison.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: And when I'm sitting in prison and wondering what the
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: heck I'm going to do, I came up with the
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  Speaker 3: idea that I need to help other young men and
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: conquer those addictions and save their families so they don't
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  Speaker 3: suffer the same fate that I had. But one of
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  Speaker 3: the things I came up with is when you're dealing
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  Speaker 3: with addictions, you have really ground your life into the dirt.
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  Speaker 3: And what I came up with as a process to
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  Speaker 3: create a new person, a new self in order to
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  Speaker 3: be able to grow and recover from those addictions.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Listeners, if you've been watching parents Talk for a while,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: you probably know that I suffer from addictions food, wine, drinking,
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: and many other bad habits. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: If we don't have the tools to comfort ourselves, our
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  Speaker 2: brains search for ways to be comfort which leads us
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: on the path to bad habits. So, Michael, I'd like
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  Speaker 2: to ask you, can you tell us maybe a little
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  Speaker 2: bit about your process and is there a discovery part
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  Speaker 2: of the process where you discover the root cause of
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  Speaker 2: what's causing your addiction.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, And this goes to parents helping to prevent addictions
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  Speaker 3: from happening, because the main point is addiction isn't about
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  Speaker 3: a substance or a behavior, it's a symptom, and it's
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  Speaker 3: a symptom because there is something inside, scars or troubles
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  Speaker 3: or trauma or whatever inside that has not been dealt with,
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  Speaker 3: and addictions are used to cope with those unresolved effects
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  Speaker 3: that are happening in our lives. So anything that you
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  Speaker 3: can do with your children before it becomes a problem
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: that they have to cope with, make sure you get
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  Speaker 3: to that right away so that they don't have those
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  Speaker 3: scars that they have to try and medicate through some
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  Speaker 3: kind of substance or behavior that makes them think about
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  Speaker 3: something other than the pain that they have inside.
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  Speaker 2: And the tool that I found at worked for me
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  Speaker 2: the best was meditation. It helped me really clear my
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  Speaker 2: mind and dig down to what my root cause, what
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  Speaker 2: caused me to want to comfort myself. And that's why
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: my first children's book is an introduction and meditation for children,
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  Speaker 2: because I think and actually my readers have told me
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  Speaker 2: that when the children could calm their mind, that they
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: are not susceptible to peer pressure as much because that
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  Speaker 2: peer pressure is a result of them wanting to be
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  Speaker 2: like everybody else. When they calm their minds and go
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  Speaker 2: deep inside with that self reflection that we talk about
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: in the Magic Library book, then they feel self confident
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  Speaker 2: in their own skin and they feel self assured where
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  Speaker 2: they don't feel that need to go with the crowd
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  Speaker 2: and become the next best thing instead of who they
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  Speaker 2: really are.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, and identity is everything.
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  Speaker 3: They have to create a strong self identity so that
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  Speaker 3: they don't try to follow somebody else's identity and get
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  Speaker 3: into doing things that really do not fulfill them. And
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  Speaker 3: one of the things that I really do with my
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  Speaker 3: process is go deep into a person, discover what their
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  Speaker 3: identity is and help them grow with that become the
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  Speaker 3: ideal person that they want to be because you can
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  Speaker 3: create that.
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  Speaker 2: I know you can because I did my identity. I
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  Speaker 2: was in an identity crisis when I retired from my
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  Speaker 2: job as an aircraft electrician for the military. That's all
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  Speaker 2: I knew my whole adult life. And then I had
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  Speaker 2: to recreate myself. And then I thought back, I wasn't
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  Speaker 2: always an aircraft electrician. I created that identity when I
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  Speaker 2: joined the Navy. Yeah, so I think what we're trying
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  Speaker 2: to say here is that parents, you could help your
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  Speaker 2: kids create an identity that makes them resilient so when
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  Speaker 2: life happens and changes come across their being, that they
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  Speaker 2: have the tools they need to accept those changes and
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  Speaker 2: move forward creating their new self.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, but even with your adult children, you can talk
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  Speaker 3: to them and try to bring out that identity that
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  Speaker 3: maybe they've forgotten, because one of the problems with addiction
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  Speaker 3: is it slowly, over time narrows the focus of what
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  Speaker 3: they can cope with and how they cope with it
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  Speaker 3: becomes really, really narrow, and they forget everything else because
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  Speaker 3: all they can see is that one thing that can
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  Speaker 3: help them. So we need to get them to be
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  Speaker 3: able to open up that that well of capability that's
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  Speaker 3: within themselves.
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  Speaker 2: I remember when I I was using wine to come myself,
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  Speaker 2: and I'd come home and I'd drink a glass of
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  Speaker 2: wine in another and then I got to the point
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  Speaker 2: where my liver was failing. But I can't quit. I
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  Speaker 2: like it so much. What will I do? That's all
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  Speaker 2: I have to look forward to. I had to change
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  Speaker 2: that mindset and find new ways to comfort myself. And
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  Speaker 2: the best option for parents is to teach their children
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  Speaker 2: how to comfort themselves without food, without chemicals, and without medication. So, Michael,
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  Speaker 2: I heard you say that you have a free report
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  Speaker 2: that people need to get a hold of so they
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  Speaker 2: can help these men in their lives. You want to
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  Speaker 2: talk about that a little bit, Please.
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  Speaker 3: Sure On my website right below the intro page, you
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  Speaker 3: can find a place where you can get a free report.
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  Speaker 3: That is where I talk to young men about what
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  Speaker 3: they need to do once they've started the process of recovery,
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  Speaker 3: because there are pitfalls that they can take that will
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  Speaker 3: land them right back into the process of destroying themselves
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  Speaker 3: like they were doing before. They need to do certain
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  Speaker 3: things in order to be able to negotiate the recovery process.
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  Speaker 1: And I identify a.
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  Speaker 3: Number of those things for them so that they can
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  Speaker 3: see where they should start and what to avoid. And
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: I offer that free report so that what they can
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  Speaker 3: do is even if you're not a young man needing
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: to go online and get it, but if you're a
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  Speaker 3: parent of somebody, if you're the wife of somebody, if
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: you're a friend of somebody who needs to have that,
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  Speaker 3: this is a little report that you can give to
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  Speaker 3: them to give them the idea hete there's something that
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  Speaker 3: I can do, because when I was going through my struggles,
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  Speaker 3: I kept saying, I want to stop destroying my life,
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  Speaker 3: but I just don't know how. I want to give
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  Speaker 3: them hope that there's information to show them how they
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  Speaker 3: can do it well.
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  Speaker 2: And the weird things. When I was going through it,
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  Speaker 2: I was blaming everybody else that my life the only
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  Speaker 2: way to say, it sucked, and it was nobody else's fault,
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  Speaker 2: it was mine. So when you hand that report, don't
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  Speaker 2: feel bad if you get a little pushback at first.
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  Speaker 2: Have you ever experienced that.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, there's often pushback, especially with something that we have
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  Speaker 3: so much difficulty talking about, and especially young men. We
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: want to hold it inside ourselves. We don't want to
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  Speaker 3: share that we have this weakness.
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  Speaker 1: We want to.
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  Speaker 3: Try and solve it ourselves rather than reach out and
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  Speaker 3: ask for help. So this is something that we really
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  Speaker 3: need to get to young men to say, don't be
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  Speaker 3: ashamed of it, just ask.
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  Speaker 1: For some help.
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  Speaker 2: Shame. I heard that word, and I think that's a
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  Speaker 2: society response. Rather than reaching out and offering help, we
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  Speaker 2: make these people feel ashamed.
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  Speaker 3: Not only do we make them feel ashamed, but they
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  Speaker 3: also take it on themselves. The reason they don't want
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  Speaker 3: to put that out there is because they know they
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  Speaker 3: will feel shame if they talk about it. But that's
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  Speaker 3: not what we should be feeling. We should be feeling, Hey,
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  Speaker 3: this is a problem. I need to get some help
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  Speaker 3: for people.
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  Speaker 2: Get in touch with you if they want some more information.
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  Speaker 3: The best way is through my website.
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  Speaker 1: You can go to www.
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  Speaker 3: Dot the life Forge all one word dot com. In
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  Speaker 3: that you'll be able to see that free report. You'd
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  Speaker 3: be able to access my book if you want to
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  Speaker 3: get a copy of it, and there's other programs that
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  Speaker 3: you can see as to how I would be able
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  Speaker 3: to help people through this process. It has all my
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  Speaker 3: contact information there too, so it's the best place to
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  Speaker 3: get a hold of me.
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  Speaker 2: And we'll be putting a link to that in the
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  Speaker 2: description on YouTube and in the comments on all our
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  Speaker 2: other social media.
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  Speaker 1: I do have to do that very much.
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  Speaker 2: Do you have any last words for the audience?
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  Speaker 3: The best thing to do is to make sure you
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  Speaker 3: talk to people and don't talk about just normal things
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  Speaker 3: from the day, day to day things. Actually talk to
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  Speaker 3: people to find out what's going on with them, and
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  Speaker 3: then be willing to listen because listening is.
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  Speaker 1: The most important part.
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  Speaker 3: When people feel like they're listened to, they'll be more
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  Speaker 3: willing to talk.
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  Speaker 1: And this is stuff that we need to talk about.
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  Speaker 2: So if you want to open that conversation with somebody
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  Speaker 2: in your life, then get Michael's free report and start
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  Speaker 2: that conversation, and then go to his website and take
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  Speaker 2: the next steps. Michael, thank you so much for being
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  Speaker 2: here with us today, and we'd love for you to
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  Speaker 2: come back some other time and let us know how
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  Speaker 2: many people you have helped.
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  Speaker 3: I appreciate the offer and I will definitely be back.
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  Speaker 3: I want to hear more about your stories too.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe we should have a little counseling session or tell
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  Speaker 2: all the bad t tell the audience all the weird
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  Speaker 2: and strange things we did when we were under the
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  Speaker 2: powers of the influence, and tell them, see, this is
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  Speaker 2: what happens, and you can survive it and you can't
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  Speaker 2: come out on the other end. So this is Francine Julie,
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  Speaker 2: the founder of Parents Talk and the Confidence Club for Kids.
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  Speaker 2: Until next time, Bye by