Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / CROWD WORK PACK_ LEXINGTON_ KY

Transcript

CROWD WORK PACK_ LEXINGTON_ KY · Mic Drop Comedy

0:00
Speaker 1: Now, little crackhead, how you doing? You're beautiful though, you're
0:09
Speaker 1: a pretty crackhead. Is that titty coming out from under
0:13
Speaker 1: your hair? Is that titty right there? Get out here,
0:16
Speaker 1: whoever got the camera, come on. You need a minute?
0:18
Speaker 2: All right, it was just me and the titty then,
0:20
Speaker 2: don't worry about it.
0:22
Speaker 1: We into this. What's your name, baby? Are you shitting me?
0:26
Speaker 1: Did you just ask if I was talking to you?
0:29
Speaker 2: She's like, who, me? Yes.
0:30
Speaker 1: The crackhead with the titty that yelled out before the
0:33
Speaker 1: show and asked for new jokes.
0:34
Speaker 2: And I said, it's about you now.
0:36
Speaker 1: You.
0:38
Speaker 2: Marsha Ambrosia. You, right there. You high? Well, this is
0:43
Speaker 2: fucking your high up, ain't it? She's like, this is crazy.
0:47
Speaker 2: There's a little bit of weed. You don't even know
0:50
Speaker 2: your name? What kind of weed is this? Yeah, that's her.
0:57
Speaker 2: White lady, put your head down. Thank you, white lady.
1:01
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. Now, what's your name? Huh? Bree? Outstanding.
1:09
Speaker 2: That's a whole name, Bree. You came from Ohio? What part? Springfield,
1:18
Speaker 2: where you eat cats and dogs? You're Haitian? That's what
1:23
Speaker 2: he said. You Haitian? Why she look at you like that? Oh, stop,
1:27
Speaker 2: I'll say.
1:27
Speaker 1: Okay. Nah, boo-lay, baby, nah, boo-lay. What do you do
1:32
Speaker 1: for a living? Or I should, where do you dance at?
1:39
Speaker 1: I have no stripper titties when I see them. What's
1:41
Speaker 1: a goddamn stripper titties? Where you work out there in Springfield?
1:45
Speaker 1: At the nuclear plant with the Simpsons? You got four jobs,
1:53
Speaker 1: so you Jamaican. Well, tell me the third job. Matter
2:00
Speaker 1: of fact, do all four. Let's just see how you...
2:03
Speaker 1: Is there a day of the week where you got
2:04
Speaker 1: to do all four of them? Okay, well, tell me
2:07
Speaker 1: your program. Huh? Just a little louder will help. You
2:15
Speaker 1: do everything but dance. Everything but dance? Sound like it's...
2:23
Speaker 1: selling that girl what.
2:24
Speaker 2: The fuck.
2:26
Speaker 1: I do everything but dance I I fuck I'm not
2:30
Speaker 1: dancing at all that's right I'll fuck the shit out
2:33
Speaker 1: of you and clean your house that's that's two jobs
2:36
Speaker 1: right there then I'll cook after that I'll drop your
2:40
Speaker 1: baby off that's four jobs.
2:43
Speaker 2: So you a wife what the fuck.
2:46
Speaker 1: Where your man at who you sitting with and how
2:48
Speaker 1: come everybody around you look embarrassed do you know them Sis,
2:52
Speaker 1: you don't know her?
2:53
Speaker 2: Your face got serious as fuck. Do we know that?
2:55
Speaker 2: As soon as I.
2:57
Speaker 1: Started talking to her, you were like, shit, we go
2:59
Speaker 1: with this motherfucking bullshit.
3:04
Speaker 2: So you just by yourself? You drove all the way
3:07
Speaker 2: from Ohio to Olo? You single?
3:13
Speaker 1: Somebody know you. They're like, bullshit, that's a busted open brief.
3:21
Speaker 1: She Brie fucking, that's Brie fucking. You got me fucked up.
3:26
Speaker 1: You famous, Brie. Don't try to look for him, you
3:29
Speaker 1: know it. She like, Terrell, shut your dumb ass up, Terrell. No,
3:37
Speaker 1: I'm his brother, bitch, we both fuck. This different than
3:42
Speaker 1: last show, ain't it, Brie?
3:43
Speaker 2: Goddamn.
3:46
Speaker 1: All right, let me talk to some people, man. We
3:48
Speaker 1: got people in the house. Shit, I want to talk
3:50
Speaker 1: to some people. That white lady got some nice titties
3:52
Speaker 1: right there, baby.
3:53
Speaker 2: How you doing? You all right?
3:55
Speaker 1: That's your titty dress, huh? Yeah, you had another dress.
3:57
Speaker 1: You didn't wear that one. You were like, I'm wearing
3:59
Speaker 1: my titty dress. And you could have sat inside.
4:05
Speaker 2: Hell yeah. No, you're welcome. Shit.
4:09
Speaker 1: What do you do for money? Do you have to
4:10
Speaker 1: work with titties like that? People just come get you
4:14
Speaker 1: money and leave.
4:15
Speaker 2: Thank you, titties. You look like you got money, though.
4:18
Speaker 2: You got the little... You got mixed kids? You got
4:23
Speaker 2: the mixed kid swoop.
4:26
Speaker 1: You got the white lady with the black baby daddy hairdo.
4:31
Speaker 2: Am I right or wrong? I'm right, yeah. And what's
4:36
Speaker 2: your name? You're beautiful. What's your name? Billy? Like, Gene
4:40
Speaker 2: is not my son? Okay, Billy. Okay.
4:45
Speaker 1: And who you with? The whole row or does it
4:47
Speaker 1: stop there with the lady with the glasses on her head?
4:48
Speaker 2: That's your what? Just your friend? Outstanding.
4:54
Speaker 1: And what about him right inside of that? Okay, like, no,
4:58
Speaker 1: that's my wife right here. Fuck all that. Baby, I
5:02
Speaker 1: don't know nobody with no titties like that at all.
5:08
Speaker 1: I don't want to get nobody in trouble when we
5:09
Speaker 1: blow the titties up real big. No, the husband's like, oh, yeah,
5:13
Speaker 1: this show pretty cool, man. It's pretty good. The wife's like, shit, yeah,
5:17
Speaker 1: she do got nice titties, don't she, huh? What you
5:20
Speaker 1: going to look at, motherfucker?
5:21
Speaker 2: You going to look at the.
5:22
Speaker 1: Screen at Billy's big-ass titties, Billy's bass titties?
5:27
Speaker 2: Are you a principal? You look like an authoritative figure.
5:31
Speaker 2: A consultant. For what? What do you do? What kind
5:36
Speaker 2: of manufacturing? Bra's? Shit.
5:48
Speaker 1: Hey, put your head down for just a second. I
5:49
Speaker 1: almost thought she had a third titty. It's beautiful, but
5:55
Speaker 1: I'm trying to say the titty. Cannon, you want a leash?
5:59
Speaker 1: Come over here and let's look at these boobs together, Cannon.
6:02
Speaker 2: What the fuck? We're looking for Billy's breasts. All right, Billy,
6:11
Speaker 2: present them. Don't just have them. There you go, baby,
6:14
Speaker 2: there you go. Nice, crazy titties.
6:16
Speaker 1: How long I got to wait till I can see
6:18
Speaker 1: the titties? I want to see the titties real big.
6:25
Speaker 1: Somebody blow the titties up. Oh, blow the titties up. Oh,
6:34
Speaker 1: you done made me make up a song. Your titties crazy.
6:37
Speaker 2: You drinking anything? Let me get you a.
6:39
Speaker 1: Cocktail or just cock, shit. It's a no, it's a.
6:47
Speaker 1: It's a, I'm black, it's a. What you drinking though,
6:50
Speaker 1: what you having? Tito's and club soda, can y'all bring
6:54
Speaker 1: a drink? Don't nobody got drink in here, huh? Well
6:58
Speaker 1: he got one, yeah, let me get a Tito's and
6:59
Speaker 1: a club soda, just let me know what it costs
7:01
Speaker 1: and then I'll pay for it, or expensive or something.
7:05
Speaker 1: And then I gotta even this out, we got any
7:07
Speaker 1: black ladies celebrating a birthday? Huh, what'd you say? it's
7:15
Speaker 1: your birthday but you're not black, then this is not,
7:18
Speaker 1: this has nothing to do with you. What the fuck
7:22
Speaker 1: is that? Shut your Indian ass up, I'm looking for
7:36
Speaker 1: a black girl. Right there, stand up, you got a
7:39
Speaker 1: little sash on, let me see you girl. Hell yeah,
7:42
Speaker 1: I'll stand, what you drinking? What you having? Tito's and
7:47
Speaker 1: club soda? Let me get two Tito's and club sodas.
7:51
Speaker 1: One for titties and one for the accountant.
7:55
Speaker 2: Yes.
7:57
Speaker 1: We're going to get you drunk, Billy. Yeah, we're going
8:01
Speaker 1: to turn up tonight in Lex Town. If anybody get
8:04
Speaker 1: drunk and run into anything, Nate Washington did it.
8:11
Speaker 2: He's like, touche. I like that one.
8:14
Speaker 1: All right, let's talk to the civil rights leader couple
8:17
Speaker 1: right here. Wow, you guys look like you marched.
8:21
Speaker 2: You marched? Did you march? Brother, what is your name?
8:28
Speaker 2: You Bobby? How many B's? B-O-B-Y. Sound the same. Don't drink.
8:38
Speaker 1: Don't take a nervous drink, Bobby. This your queen here
8:42
Speaker 1: right here? Y'all look good together too.
8:45
Speaker 2: Hell yeah. How long y'all been together? Bobby, hurry the
8:49
Speaker 2: fuck up. He was like, ah, yeah. Shit, it's our
8:56
Speaker 2: second date. I don't know this bitch. It's your first date. Well,
9:00
Speaker 2: God damn. Y'all look like y'all got grandkids together already.
9:12
Speaker 2: This your first date for real? How's it going? Hold on.
9:16
Speaker 2: Shut the fuck up. They said, go Bobby. He's my
9:23
Speaker 2: civil rights leader. He's the one from my district. That's Bobby.
9:26
Speaker 1: That's right.
9:29
Speaker 2: First date to the show, the front row. That's a choice.
9:35
Speaker 1: We can learn something tonight that'll ruin this. She's like,
9:39
Speaker 1: that's why I did it, right? Let's get to know
9:41
Speaker 1: this motherfucker publicly.
9:43
Speaker 2: Y'all live here in Lexington? You do where you live? Detroit.
9:50
Speaker 2: So you confident? D-Town in the building? D-Town? D-Town? Anybody else?
9:55
Speaker 2: Right there?
9:56
Speaker 1: She's like, it's so cold in the D. Okay, so
10:03
Speaker 1: anybody in here fucking by me? I felt good about
10:12
Speaker 1: that because you're from so far away. I'm like, whew,
10:15
Speaker 1: let's ask him.
10:16
Speaker 2: Look at that.
10:16
Speaker 1: He ain't got no bitches. Look, he found a handsome
10:19
Speaker 1: black man, no bitches in his life.
10:20
Speaker 2: It's just you.
10:21
Speaker 1: Hell yeah. You look like a sexy Rosa Parks. You
10:29
Speaker 1: look like you sit on a dick and don't get up.
10:50
Speaker 1: That's pretty fire right there, guys.
10:53
Speaker 2: That was. White people, get comfortable. Let's lean in and laugh.
10:56
Speaker 2: Have a good time.
10:57
Speaker 1: You guys are like, oh my God, Rosa Parks jokes?
11:02
Speaker 1: Does he know there were slaves in the basement here?
11:07
Speaker 2: So Bobby, how did you meet your queen, man? How
11:09
Speaker 2: did you, this first date get going, how did that happen? Yeah,
11:13
Speaker 2: stand on business and man up. Talk to me. It's
11:16
Speaker 2: been a long Jersey. A long what? Jersey. Journey. He
11:22
Speaker 2: been trying to get that for a while.
11:25
Speaker 1: About three years. Okay, Bobby, tonight. Tonight's the night, tonight, tonight.
11:33
Speaker 1: It's going down. It's going down. Tonight he go down.
11:39
Speaker 1: He got to get that tonight. You're going to have
11:43
Speaker 1: to slither out that goddamn satin pair of pants you
11:45
Speaker 1: got on.
11:48
Speaker 2: Put on your muumuu. I'll be right back, Bobby. Bobby,
11:52
Speaker 2: you lay right there, Bobby.
11:53
Speaker 1: Bobby, you're going to be in his church socks.
11:56
Speaker 2: Hurry up, baby. You're going to the D tonight.
12:01
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, this is eight mile, eight mile. Eight inch mile.
12:10
Speaker 1: I really want this to work out for y'all, man.
12:13
Speaker 2: I really do. What you drinking, Bobby? Let's get you
12:15
Speaker 2: something to drink. You straight? Well, yeah, okay. What about you, ma'am?
12:18
Speaker 1: Let's get you sauced up then. White wine, okay, I
12:22
Speaker 1: need a Hennessy, what the fuck? This ain't no goddamn
12:27
Speaker 1: rotary meeting, what the fuck you talking about? White wine,
12:30
Speaker 1: I'm making a French pasta dinner and I need to
12:35
Speaker 1: cut the acidity with some white wine. How much goddamn
12:39
Speaker 1: money you got as you come out white wine? No,
12:44
Speaker 1: you gonna drink some dark goddamn to the neck tonight.
12:48
Speaker 2: Can we, is somebody corralling the drinks? You got choice yet,
12:52
Speaker 2: Big Titty Billy? What about Happy Birthday Sis?
12:57
Speaker 3: No?
12:58
Speaker 2: Okay, what we doing?
13:01
Speaker 1: All the staff looking at me like, I'm serious. Sir,
13:06
Speaker 1: you with the tie, go get me two vodka seltzers
13:09
Speaker 1: and a Hennessy.
13:14
Speaker 2: Thank you, sir. Please. I'll come out and pay after
13:17
Speaker 2: the show. God damn, Lexington.
13:22
Speaker 4: He's like, you need to present a form of payment.
13:31
Speaker 4: Or you're going in the basement.
13:32
Speaker 2: We're going to.
13:38
Speaker 1: Get you something strong. That way you can make bad
13:40
Speaker 1: decisions tonight. Yeah, I'm trying to get Bobby something.
13:44
Speaker 2: Ain't that right, Bobby? We gonna fuck the shit out
13:46
Speaker 2: of her, Bobby. We gonna fuck the shit out of her, Bobby.
13:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, Bobby.
13:53
Speaker 3: Yeah.
13:54
Speaker 1: Bobby, I want you to pick her up and scoot
13:56
Speaker 1: around like that. Fuck the shit out of her. You
13:59
Speaker 1: waited three years. You gotta get all of that. You
14:02
Speaker 1: can't be bullshit. You wait three years. You gotta be
14:05
Speaker 1: willing to tear your calf off. I'm talking about you
14:09
Speaker 1: get a cramp and you're.
14:10
Speaker 2: Just like, I don't even give a fuck.
14:13
Speaker 1: Three years?
14:14
Speaker 2: I lived for two years.
14:15
Speaker 1: After the three years, yeah, I fucked my leg up,
14:19
Speaker 1: but I proved the point. Well, had that lady screaming, Bobby!
14:29
Speaker 1: Like Whitney Houston used to. Let's move on, man. Let
14:35
Speaker 1: me talk to this rootin' tootin' gun shootin' motherfuckin' elk
14:39
Speaker 1: walk down in white black. That's a tough motherfucker right there.
14:43
Speaker 1: That's Kentucky like a son of a bitch.
14:46
Speaker 2: Fuck yeah. What's your name, brother? Dylan? Chad. Tad. Jeb?
14:51
Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you said Jeb. I was going to
14:53
Speaker 1: shit on myself. How many horses and shit like that
14:58
Speaker 1: you got? Not a damn thing.
15:01
Speaker 2: Not a damn thing? How big is your F-350? What
15:04
Speaker 2: you got? Silverado 1500. 1500? Okay. This your girl?
15:11
Speaker 1: That's your boyfriend? Well, why are you representing who he with?
15:18
Speaker 1: I'll get to you in a minute.
15:19
Speaker 2: Just be patient. You guys are a couple? Is that
15:22
Speaker 2: what that was? Well, what the fuck, sis? Why is
15:27
Speaker 2: your hand up? Is this your baby? Homegirl. Your husband's deployed? Well,
15:35
Speaker 2: thank you for his service. And so you come out
15:39
Speaker 2: here and be gay with her while he's over there fighting?
15:44
Speaker 2: Am I tripping? This is lesbian energy. This is it.
15:49
Speaker 1: That's a gay ass haircut. And I don't mean no disrespect.
15:53
Speaker 2: I don't. She's like, no, I'm strictly. I'm strictly.
15:57
Speaker 1: Wow.
15:57
Speaker 2: Okay. You suck it. America. America. Fuck you doing? You
16:06
Speaker 2: in the military too? How come they didn't make you
16:08
Speaker 2: go where he went? What'd you say? Did you hear?
16:13
Speaker 1: He said, I ain't going no motherfucking way. All right, now,
16:17
Speaker 1: this moment is not about y'all. This was about him.
16:21
Speaker 1: If you could mind your goddamn hating ass business, I
16:23
Speaker 1: would be able to talk to him.
16:25
Speaker 2: With your little tongue piercing. You a freak. That's why
16:27
Speaker 2: you don't know. You like, ha. Now, who you with?
16:31
Speaker 2: Where's your wife at?
16:32
Speaker 1: I don't have a wife.
16:34
Speaker 2: You don't have a wife? Why'd you say it like that? Well,
16:38
Speaker 2: ha ha. So my hands are.
16:42
Speaker 1: Like, well, motherfucker, I ain't got a goddamn wife.
16:46
Speaker 2: How about that?
16:48
Speaker 1: Fucking whore left me.
16:49
Speaker 2: Shit. So you came by yourself? You bought the ticket
16:58
Speaker 2: and what happened? You just bought one. You were single
17:04
Speaker 2: when you bought it. Now you got a woman. But
17:07
Speaker 2: you didn't think, let me get one more ticket.
17:10
Speaker 1: So she could sit with you in those two seats.
17:14
Speaker 2: I know, but there's two seats right there. She could
17:16
Speaker 2: have came.
17:18
Speaker 1: Oh, he's like, I'm in the front row. Fuck that.
17:22
Speaker 1: Fuck that.
17:23
Speaker 2: Fuck that bitch. I'm in the front row. We're brand new, baby.
17:26
Speaker 1: I got prior obligations.
17:28
Speaker 2: I got to do.
17:29
Speaker 1: I'm going to go watch Nate Jackson down here. You
17:32
Speaker 1: can watch at home.
17:33
Speaker 2: I'm sure the video will come out. What do you
17:37
Speaker 2: do for a living? You strike me as somebody who
17:39
Speaker 2: works with your hands. You're a disabled vet? Getting that money.
17:43
Speaker 2: Hell yeah.
17:49
Speaker 1: Hey, hey. Quit trying to fuck, lady. I saw you. No,
17:53
Speaker 1: you heard that money too. He's like, oh, how much
17:55
Speaker 1: did you get?
17:55
Speaker 2: I saw you. I'm just fucking with you. She's like,
17:59
Speaker 2: I'm good. He coming back.
18:00
Speaker 1: I'm stretching my mouth. Well, yeah, thank you for your service.
18:06
Speaker 1: What branch were you in? Army.
18:08
Speaker 2: Fuck yeah. Frontline and shit. God damn. You're a tough motherfucker, bro.
18:14
Speaker 2: Hell yeah. What do you do for fun? Are you fishing, hunting, nothing?
18:18
Speaker 2: Ride a Harley? Just risk it all every day, huh?
18:21
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm on borrowed time. I don't give a fuck.
18:26
Speaker 1: After you've been shot at, it gets you going?
18:29
Speaker 2: Ain't nothing to get you. Just fuck it. I've been
18:31
Speaker 2: shot at. I'll live my life to the fullest, huh? Yeah. Yeah.
18:36
Speaker 2: I feel the same way except for the people that
18:37
Speaker 2: shot at me were cops. So, maybe I should get
18:44
Speaker 2: a bike. This is a good show. I like y'all.
18:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, we got Butter the barber we met before the show.
18:53
Speaker 1: That's my guy right there. What's happening? And then, sis,
18:55
Speaker 1: how you doing? I see you got some, no, no,
18:57
Speaker 1: you with the thing on your forehead. Is that religion
19:00
Speaker 1: or something?
19:01
Speaker 2: What's that? It's the moon thing.
19:06
Speaker 1: Is that like you worship the moon or it's just
19:08
Speaker 1: a fashion statement? It matches your tattoo? Okay, your energy
19:14
Speaker 1: is right here. This is where I had to bring
19:17
Speaker 1: it just to level with you. Is that a tie?
19:22
Speaker 1: Is that the world's smallest tie? Are you getting ready
19:27
Speaker 1: for a little meeting?
19:28
Speaker 2: Why are you having a... Where you get that little
19:33
Speaker 2: bitty ass goddamn tie? Also, some more titties. This is
19:37
Speaker 2: the titty show. Did that shirt come like that or
19:41
Speaker 2: you got some scissors and let them out? What'd you say, baby?
19:45
Speaker 2: You bought it like that? Hell yeah. And what's your name?
19:47
Speaker 3: Harmon? Harmon?
19:50
Speaker 2: Harmony. Harmony.
19:55
Speaker 1: Harmony. What are you, like you work at a pet
19:58
Speaker 1: store or something? You do something eccentric because you don't,
20:03
Speaker 1: you're not, no, you're not normal.
20:04
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck what you think. No, you're not.
20:07
Speaker 2: You are special. You make special choices.
20:11
Speaker 1: You have on a goddamn, you have on thigh-high boots
20:15
Speaker 1: with the toes cut out. Cannon, come show her toes.
20:22
Speaker 1: You're not going to tell me you're normal and this
20:23
Speaker 1: is what you got on your legs. Now, come on down. Now,
20:29
Speaker 1: go up slow. You don't have to wiggle. Cannon, you
20:34
Speaker 1: got a foot fetish? Pull up. She wiggled her toes
20:41
Speaker 1: on the screen. I done threw up. God damn. Somebody
20:47
Speaker 1: was like, oh. I just love feet. I ain't a
20:54
Speaker 1: feet man. But you got a moon on your forehead
20:56
Speaker 1: and a baby tie on with thigh high boots with
20:58
Speaker 1: your toes cut out.
21:00
Speaker 2: And you gonna tell me I'm normal. No, you not.
21:04
Speaker 1: You go to the mall, the people in the store
21:06
Speaker 1: be like, we ain't got nothing for your ass in here.
21:09
Speaker 2: Take your ass to Spencer's again.
21:12
Speaker 1: Did that tie come like that or you cut the
21:14
Speaker 1: bottom of your dress off? What's that called? It's called
21:19
Speaker 1: a tie? No, because if I go ask for a tie,
21:22
Speaker 1: they don't bring that out. You had to whisper it.
21:26
Speaker 1: You have to have a.
21:30
Speaker 2: Little tie.
21:31
Speaker 1: That's that dominatrix shit, huh? Somebody supposed to pull you
21:33
Speaker 1: by that? You have collars for that?
21:38
Speaker 2: Yep, yep.
21:41
Speaker 1: Yep. You ain't going to fuck me into the ground, bitch.
21:45
Speaker 1: I'm moving on. I ain't fucking with no... They've got
21:48
Speaker 1: them dominatrices. It's cute how they get... You'd be like, just.
21:53
Speaker 2: Do a little hit. They'd be like, yeah, I got you, motherfucker. Oh,
22:02
Speaker 2: you bitch.
22:05
Speaker 1: Dickhorn the motherfucker. I don't want to be confused with my...
22:09
Speaker 1: I just want to.
22:11
Speaker 1: I just wanted to sit on me and not get up.
22:15
Speaker 1: Montgomery bust a boycott. All right, so what do you
22:20
Speaker 1: do for a living, Bobby? Let's set you up for
22:22
Speaker 1: a win. You're in government affairs. Yeah, yeah, you dress
22:28
Speaker 1: like it too. You got on a black undershirt. You
22:34
Speaker 1: ready to get some cardio in just in case.
22:36
Speaker 2: You working in secret service or something? What do you
22:39
Speaker 2: do with specificity? You're a lobbyist? For what? For what? Tobacco?
22:47
Speaker 2: For what? Hold on. What are you saying? Somebody was
22:54
Speaker 2: hating on you. I got to figure out what happened.
22:55
Speaker 2: What happened? Everybody point at the person that said it.
22:58
Speaker 3: All right.
23:02
Speaker 2: He was like, it was me.
23:03
Speaker 1: This is Bobby Brown's uncle. Now, what did you say, sir?
23:12
Speaker 1: Don't say what?
23:16
Speaker 2: Do you know Bobby? Are you also a lobbyist? Sir,
23:21
Speaker 2: this is at first 48.
23:22
Speaker 1: I can talk to him. Also, if he fuck up
23:27
Speaker 1: real bad, I'm not going to post it. People be
23:30
Speaker 1: saying some wild shit to me. So Bobby, you're a
23:33
Speaker 1: lobbyist for energy, you said?
23:36
Speaker 2: Energy and tech. Yeah, but so workforce development? Energy and technology.
23:42
Speaker 1: So the big company, they give you the money and
23:44
Speaker 1: send you out there and say, hey.
23:46
Speaker 2: Go make sure all the laws help us. You go advocate.
23:50
Speaker 2: For free? You advocate for free? No, sir.
23:53
Speaker 3: Uh-huh.
23:55
Speaker 2: You don't.
23:55
Speaker 1: Well, I see you have a turquoise watch with a
23:58
Speaker 1: turquoise watch band with an iced out face on your watch.
24:03
Speaker 1: I see you checking your heart rate on your ring,
24:05
Speaker 1: on your index finger. I'm inclined to think that you have...
24:10
Speaker 1: at least a hundred dollars that you could muster up
24:14
Speaker 1: for your boy, you know? So at least you could do,
24:16
Speaker 1: I'm about to help you get some, you've been waiting
24:18
Speaker 1: on for three years.
24:21
Speaker 2: What's a hundred dollars?
24:22
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? You ain't even reaching or nothing.
24:26
Speaker 2: You ain't going to reach for the money. Hurry up.
24:29
Speaker 2: I raffle off the, they got a hundred dollars. Anybody
24:31
Speaker 2: got a hundred, one dollar, one hundred, one dollar piece.
24:36
Speaker 1: Civil rights, Rosa Parks, auntie in this motherfucker, Rosa Parks, $ 100, $ 102,
24:39
Speaker 1: $ 103 with me. Anybody, $ 104, anybody want $ 104 with me?
24:43
Speaker 1: Anybody want $ 105 with me? Are you buying her next
24:46
Speaker 1: to you? Sold to the white man and the white woman.
24:54
Speaker 1: And you're going in the basement.
24:58
Speaker 2: What the fuck?
25:02
Speaker 1: I don't know how we got here that I just
25:03
Speaker 1: auctioned off a black person, but this is crazy. That
25:06
Speaker 1: was not my intention at the beginning of that idea.
25:10
Speaker 1: What the fuck just happened?
25:13
Speaker 2: You guys are like, we'll take her. Fuck it.
25:15
Speaker 1: Shit, some bitch. Goddamn right. A whole goddamn $ 105? You're
25:19
Speaker 1: goddamn right I will.
25:21
Speaker 2: Shit. Get out there and mow the lawn. You need
25:28
Speaker 2: a Hennessy? Hey, they still ain't brought. Did you get
25:31
Speaker 2: your drink?
25:38
Speaker 1: What?
25:40
Speaker 2: The bar's closed?
25:42
Speaker 1: Hey, go get my Hennessy bottle from upstairs. Yeah, my Hennessy.
25:48
Speaker 1: Send somebody. Shit, Angeline, somebody get my alcohol. Get the Hennessy.
25:53
Speaker 1: It's up there in the middle table. And then if
25:58
Speaker 1: there's some cups, bring me three cups.
26:00
Speaker 2: Oh, two cups. You got a cup? Yeah, I just
26:03
Speaker 2: need alcohol. This is Kentucky. You about to get a drink,
26:11
Speaker 2: Big Titty Billy. Hell yeah. Your left titty coming out, too.
26:16
Speaker 2: I like that. It's like, what are we doing? That's
26:21
Speaker 2: your titty.
26:22
Speaker 1: It'll be down in a minute. Then we're going to
26:26
Speaker 1: have the drink that I intended for us to have.
26:30
Speaker 1: That might break some local law, but I don't know.
26:33
Speaker 1: I'm leaving in the morning. So let's talk to some.
26:38
Speaker 2: More people, man. I want to see some more. Hey,
26:40
Speaker 2: where you coming from? Neo, you. Where you coming from?
26:42
Speaker 2: And why you dressed like a witch? You just going
26:49
Speaker 2: to put your shades on? Okay.
26:50
Speaker 1: Let's put them on the screen before we move on.
26:54
Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
26:56
Speaker 2: Looking like a member of Old Edition. Mm-hmm. oh he
27:08
Speaker 2: a pimp okay.
27:10
Speaker 1: Got your little pinky ring dazzling on these hoes I
27:13
Speaker 1: let these little jazzy broads know how I get down
27:17
Speaker 1: alright let's fuck with some people down here there's gonna
27:22
Speaker 1: be somebody in this row right here with the six
27:23
Speaker 1: white people right here I like that I really like
27:27
Speaker 1: that right there is everyone related is.
27:28
Speaker 2: This your daddy who's related The four of y'all. So
27:35
Speaker 2: him and y'all brothers? Outstanding. So you the big brother?
27:39
Speaker 2: Hell yeah. How much older than him are you? Nine?
27:43
Speaker 1: Well, you got to start eating more vegetables or something
27:45
Speaker 1: because when I first saw y'all, I thought you were
27:48
Speaker 1: his pawpaw. That damn peepaw. So big brother, little brother,
27:53
Speaker 1: you came out with your ladies.
27:54
Speaker 2: Who set it up? Little bro? She did?
27:59
Speaker 1: Thank you. I appreciate that. Bringing everybody together. And what
28:02
Speaker 1: about these two? These your grandbabies?
28:09
Speaker 2: Y'all aren't related to them at all.
28:11
Speaker 1: Well, then why does your face right here look like
28:13
Speaker 1: his face right there?
28:17
Speaker 2: Do you know who your daddy is? This is a 23andMe.
28:21
Speaker 1: That's your goddamn daddy right next to you. I'm not
28:25
Speaker 1: trying to say all white people look the same either.
28:27
Speaker 1: Your nose look like his nose.
28:30
Speaker 2: That's crazy. Which sister's older? You are? How much older
28:35
Speaker 2: are you than her? 16 months. God damn, your dad
28:40
Speaker 2: was like, I.
28:40
Speaker 1: Don't give a fuck about them stitches.
28:45
Speaker 2: I'm still sore, James. Shut up, bitch. Hang on to
28:47
Speaker 2: the couch. That's amazing.
28:54
Speaker 1: Okay, so who's been married longer out of the two
28:57
Speaker 1: couples there? You're not married yet? Well, goddamn, sir, you're
29:01
Speaker 1: too old to be playing. Shit, how old are you?
29:06
Speaker 1: 55 and you're still out here just gallivanting around? That's
29:11
Speaker 1: the engagement ring you showed me? Okay, so you already
29:14
Speaker 1: got to, you handled your business. Okay, you love him?
29:16
Speaker 1: You're hanging on to him like you love him a lot.
29:19
Speaker 2: You do? Scale from 1 to 50.
29:23
Speaker 3: 100?
29:25
Speaker 1: No, I said 1 to 50. Did you realize you
29:30
Speaker 1: broke the scale? Sir, how much do you love her?
29:33
Speaker 1: Scale from 1 to 150.
29:35
Speaker 3: You're like, shit, what's the answer?
29:47
Speaker 2: What's the answer? How much do you love her, sir?
29:50
Speaker 3: 150?
29:52
Speaker 1: So out of 150, you love her 150, but out
29:54
Speaker 1: of 50, she loves you 100? You realize she outloves you, sir?
30:00
Speaker 1: Even though your love is greater, she loves you more though.
30:04
Speaker 2: That's the case.
30:05
Speaker 1: Not for every couple. You know though, couples know. You
30:10
Speaker 1: know who loves who more. You can talk amongst yourselves,
30:15
Speaker 1: but you know who.
30:17
Speaker 2: Couples know.
30:19
Speaker 1: You just got in your car, she outside, what the fuck?
30:23
Speaker 1: You didn't say you love me.
30:26
Speaker 2: God damn, I'm going to the store. It's right there.
30:29
Speaker 2: You can see the store. Tell me you love me.
30:34
Speaker 2: I love you.
30:37
Speaker 1: My dad left my mom and I don't want you
30:39
Speaker 1: to leave me.
30:42
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.
30:46
Speaker 3: Okay.
30:46
Speaker 2: Do we got the drink yet? Oh, yeah. Special delivery.
30:51
Speaker 1: Alright, come here birthday girl. You got the hardest trip
30:54
Speaker 1: to get up. Come that way right there. Rosa Parks,
30:58
Speaker 1: we're going to get you right. Titty baby, come on
31:01
Speaker 1: down here. Get your drink now.
31:03
Speaker 2: That's right. I'm giving it out like I'm in VIP
31:05
Speaker 2: at the club. You don't got to hold it like
31:06
Speaker 2: a slave. God damn. She was like Simba All right.
31:28
Speaker 1: Did you just hold, you told me when to stop?
31:30
Speaker 1: Give me one more goddamn little bit, because tonight you
31:32
Speaker 1: got to.
31:33
Speaker 2: Get fucked by Bobby. That's it right there. Titty, I'm
31:37
Speaker 2: going to save you for last. That's right there. Them
31:40
Speaker 2: titties right there. Here you go. Happy birthday, baby. How
31:43
Speaker 2: old are you?
31:44
Speaker 1: 49. Girl, you look good for 49.
31:46
Speaker 2: There you go. Sharing is caring.
31:56
Speaker 1: I'm going to pour it. Yeah.
32:01
Speaker 2: Here, just take the bottle, bitch.
32:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, you ain't going to pour it yourself? I know
32:08
Speaker 1: that's right. Let me pour all your shit. Cheers.
32:33
Speaker 2: About to get my talk. Welcome to Kentucky. All right.
32:43
Speaker 1: Now don't drink that fast. Because you used to white
32:46
Speaker 1: wine and that's another level right there.
32:48
Speaker 3: All right.
32:51
Speaker 2: That just changed it.
32:52
Speaker 1: No, no.
32:53
Speaker 2: He can't have none. Don't share it. That's all for him.
32:56
Speaker 1: That just changed the power dynamic this evening in bed.
32:59
Speaker 1: You went from, Bobby, be gentle.
33:01
Speaker 2: To, Bobby, shut the fuck up.
33:05
Speaker 1: God damn it, I said I wasn't sitting in the
33:07
Speaker 1: back of this motherfucking bus, you piece of shit motherfucker.
33:10
Speaker 2: You lobbyist, lobby this.
33:12
Speaker 1: You want to lobby something? Yeah, how's that for energy, motherfucker?
33:17
Speaker 1: How's that for energy? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, Bobby,
33:22
Speaker 1: I just came.
33:23
Speaker 2: Ha, ha, ha. Oh, it ain't over, motherfucker. I got it.
33:31
Speaker 2: That's what that alcohol do to you, man. Shit.
33:36
Speaker 1: This is a different joint. Let me talk to the
33:40
Speaker 1: Abraham Lincoln seats up there. How y'all doing?
33:44
Speaker 2: Y'all know each other?
33:45
Speaker 4: You do?
33:46
Speaker 2: Both people know each other?
33:48
Speaker 1: Where you get that white man from that's up there
33:50
Speaker 1: with y'all? He with y'all? That's your husband?
33:55
Speaker 2: Outstanding. What's your name, sir?
33:57
Speaker 3: Jerry.
33:58
Speaker 2: Jerry, it's nice to meet you. And who's that, Ben?
34:10
Speaker 2: That was a slow one. Some of y'all were like, oh, shit,
34:13
Speaker 2: Ben and Jerry's. What's your name, family? Joe? Joe and Jerry.
34:19
Speaker 2: And introduce me to your queens. We got to make
34:22
Speaker 2: sure this is nice. LaQuinta.
34:24
Speaker 1: LaQuinta.
34:32
Speaker 2: Is that where you were consummated?
34:33
Speaker 1: No, because I got a homegirl named Holiday Ann, so
34:37
Speaker 1: I just wanted to make sure. LaQuinta, what the fuck?
34:44
Speaker 1: She's like, I know, I know. And then who was
34:47
Speaker 1: that there?
34:49
Speaker 2: Starlene? Star-lee, no Ann, Star-lee. Okay, okay. And so who's
34:57
Speaker 2: been together longer up there?
35:00
Speaker 3: Okay.
35:00
Speaker 2: 21? Damn. Congratulations, man.
35:04
Speaker 1: That's like 63 years in black love years. What's the
35:12
Speaker 1: secret to making it 21 years?
35:14
Speaker 2: Y'all look young, too. I know, and I don't care.
35:19
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's just for me. Oh, that's bad, though. God damn.
35:26
Speaker 1: That motherfucker look like two of the slaves got out
35:28
Speaker 1: from the basement. Ha ha ha.
35:38
Speaker 2: I know I've been shamed. Boo, motherfucker!
35:50
Speaker 1: Is there any way we can see them? Y'all ain't
35:51
Speaker 1: got no cell phone light or nothing? You can't light
35:53
Speaker 1: your own face up? God damn!
35:57
Speaker 2: Ooh, shit. We couldn't even see Star Lee. Shit. Well,
36:04
Speaker 2: now that we can see you, this is a serious moment.
36:08
Speaker 1: I want to know the secret to making it 21
36:09
Speaker 1: years and still looking relatively young and healthy.
36:12
Speaker 2: What's the secret, bro? Communication. Okay. Star Lee, you got
36:20
Speaker 2: a different answer? Should I, whatever he say, that's what...
36:26
Speaker 2: That's the secret. When he go first, I say the
36:29
Speaker 2: same shit right after him. Now what about y'all, the swirl? Yeah,
36:37
Speaker 2: a little candy cane love. What's the secret? She the boss?
36:49
Speaker 2: This lady with the baby tie got wet.
36:52
Speaker 1: She's like, you goddamn right she the boss. And we'll
36:57
Speaker 1: whip your ass too if you don't stay in line.
37:00
Speaker 2: Okay. And so what do you do for a living,
37:05
Speaker 2: big white guy? You do testing for software?
37:11
Speaker 1: Outstanding. Like development side of the game? What's the name
37:14
Speaker 1: of your business, the company you at?
37:17
Speaker 2: Paylocity. Payroll. Payroll software?
37:22
Speaker 1: You ever put something in there where like every paycheck
37:24
Speaker 1: you get about three cents?
37:27
Speaker 2: You don't got nothing like just a little bit off
37:29
Speaker 2: for Jerry. Okay, well, yeah, you should work on that
37:34
Speaker 2: on the side. When are you retiring? How long you
37:37
Speaker 2: got until you're done? About 20 years, 15 years? Okay, well,
37:43
Speaker 2: you're 18. I need you to go ahead and put
37:45
Speaker 2: that software in, and then we're going to sit back, baby.
37:48
Speaker 2: We're going to make up some money. And then what
37:50
Speaker 2: do you do, sis? You look very intelligent. It's not
37:52
Speaker 2: the glasses. It's the eyes. Hold on, somebody need to
37:57
Speaker 2: take their birth control. Your birth control alarm went off. No,
38:04
Speaker 2: don't do that.
38:05
Speaker 1: You don't fuck around and get pregnant while he overseas now.
38:08
Speaker 1: You need to take your ortho tricycline. You probably on
38:12
Speaker 1: your sugars this week. Get your sugar pill out. I
38:18
Speaker 1: know too much. That's a real birth control too. So
38:21
Speaker 1: what'd you say you did? It sounded like a very
38:23
Speaker 1: established occupation. clinical nurse specialist.
38:28
Speaker 2: Ooh, shit. So y'all rich. Like, together, y'all rich. Like,
38:34
Speaker 2: y'all doing good, huh, Jared? Hell yeah. You got $ 100, Jared? Huh?
38:44
Speaker 2: Only cards? So, like, goddamn, shit. Goddamn, black hairstylist. Cash app, motherfucker.
38:52
Speaker 2: I got cash app.
38:53
Speaker 1: Fend my old motherfucker, make a paper plane out of
38:56
Speaker 1: the money and throw it at a bitch. Okay, we'll
39:00
Speaker 1: come back to the money. I don't know where that
39:01
Speaker 1: light came from, but thank you, whoever was on it
39:04
Speaker 1: that fast.
39:04
Speaker 2: Who was that? Say something. I'm the light guy.
39:09
Speaker 1: Well, I appreciate that. Let's keep that same energy. We're
39:14
Speaker 1: going to get some more people that's in the dark.
39:17
Speaker 1: I like that.
39:18
Speaker 3: Uh-huh.
39:21
Speaker 4: Yeah.
39:22
Speaker 3: Yeah.
39:23
Speaker 2: Okay, calm down. Never mind. You can take a 10-minute break.
39:32
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying myself I ain't gonna hold you this is
39:34
Speaker 1: fun there's a Mexican right there with a white lady
39:38
Speaker 1: y'all y'all got.
39:38
Speaker 2: It figured out.
39:40
Speaker 1: Hmm orale you not Mexican what are you You don't
39:49
Speaker 1: even know? You fuck with tacos?
39:56
Speaker 2: No, hold your head up. Let me see you. Oh,
39:59
Speaker 2: you just a tough white boy. You a bartender or something?
40:02
Speaker 2: You gay? You were like, mm.
40:05
Speaker 1: She look, are you gay?
40:09
Speaker 2: What the fuck? I've been through a lot, okay? This
40:15
Speaker 2: your queen? How long y'all been doing that? Seven years.
40:19
Speaker 2: What's the secret? Hello? She looks good and you're getting fat.
40:30
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's helping your case. She's like,
40:33
Speaker 1: I am going to leave him.
40:34
Speaker 2: Fuck this. What would you say the secret is, ma'am?
40:41
Speaker 2: Hold on. Somebody else said sex. That was you? You
40:45
Speaker 2: fucking like that? okay show her right now over here.
40:51
Speaker 1: In the little she fucking y'all I want you to
40:54
Speaker 1: see what I'm having to deal with this lady says
40:58
Speaker 1: sex is the secret I said you.
41:00
Speaker 2: Fucking like that.
41:04
Speaker 1: You fuck that much ma'am it don't look like you
41:07
Speaker 1: fuck for real oh what's wrong with your lip baby
41:12
Speaker 1: what happened this is a rose zone what happened You
41:21
Speaker 1: were born without your right ear? Do I want to
41:24
Speaker 1: see that you have no ear?
41:25
Speaker 3: That's crazy.
41:31
Speaker 2: I feel like I should talk to you like this.
41:37
Speaker 2: What about the other ear? Is it twice as big?
41:42
Speaker 2: This is interesting.
41:42
Speaker 1: I came over here because your lip was hanging and
41:44
Speaker 1: now we're talking about ears. Sir, did you do that
41:49
Speaker 1: to her? Look, he be beating my shit up. He
41:56
Speaker 1: done fucked her face down. She came too hard. What
42:06
Speaker 1: the fuck?
42:11
Speaker 2: Somebody ring the bell in the tower.
42:23
Speaker 1: That's the Rose on man. That's how this shit works.
42:37
Speaker 1: It is what it is. She got a good, she's
42:40
Speaker 1: laughing the whole time. He got a good spirit.
42:42
Speaker 2: I like it. And so y'all married too. Y'all married.
42:44
Speaker 2: I see a wedding ring. How long?
42:46
Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, Hey, I don't need no goddamn moral support claps.
42:50
Speaker 1: Fuck that. Before she touch you and fuck your lip out.
42:55
Speaker 1: All right, thank you for the support, I appreciate it.
42:57
Speaker 1: What the fuck?
42:58
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, hey, bitch! What the fuck is this?
43:02
Speaker 1: Doctor said I got lipiosis. What's your name, man? Let's bond. Sam,
43:10
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. And James, Eric, Jeff.
43:13
Speaker 2: Joe, I was that close. And so Joe, how long
43:17
Speaker 2: you been with your queen, man?
43:18
Speaker 1: Y'all look good. Married five years? And fucking as much
43:22
Speaker 1: as you can. That's healthy right there. Y'all from Texas?
43:26
Speaker 1: What you got on the Bucky shirt?
43:28
Speaker 2: You just visited down there? You don't know what you
43:31
Speaker 2: had on, baby? She's like, I can't even see it.
43:33
Speaker 2: My lip is in the way.
43:43
Speaker 1: What? She wanted this. I was fucking with somebody else
43:50
Speaker 1: and she was like, jacks. She drew me over here
43:54
Speaker 1: and here we are. It's not my fault she got
43:56
Speaker 1: to blow her kids through a straw.
44:00
Speaker 4: Shit.
44:02
Speaker 2: Sam knows she's pretty. Shit.
44:05
Speaker 1: So y'all fuck a lot, huh? You're trying to have
44:09
Speaker 1: a kid? You want a boy or a girl?
44:12
Speaker 2: No, no, him. I don't give a fuck. I just
44:15
Speaker 2: want some goddamn ears.
44:16
Speaker 3: Shit.
44:16
Speaker 1: Shit.
44:18
Speaker 2: Okay, that was too much. I'm sorry. Shit. Wow.
44:25
Speaker 1: Delete all that shit. Fuck, that was too much. It's
44:34
Speaker 1: because I was drinking with Titty Billy and it made
44:35
Speaker 1: me say some crazy shit. It's not your fault? All right,
44:40
Speaker 1: God damn it.
44:40
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. God damn it.
44:45
Speaker 1: Okay, so you want to have a baby and you're
44:48
Speaker 1: trying actively right now. Do you take any of the
44:50
Speaker 1: pills to encourage your body to do that or do
44:53
Speaker 1: you need me to tell you some secrets to help?
44:56
Speaker 2: Secrets?
44:57
Speaker 1: This is how you get her pregnant. Fuck her and
45:00
Speaker 1: then leave.
45:06
Speaker 2: She gonna call. You son of a bitch, it worked.
45:11
Speaker 2: I was just playing, honey. I'm coming back around the house.
45:16
Speaker 1: You got to lay upside down. Have you been laying
45:18
Speaker 1: upside down after he busts? You pull your legs back,
45:21
Speaker 1: put your knees on the, you put your knees next
45:24
Speaker 1: to your ear and where your ear supposed to be.
45:29
Speaker 1: And then you got to do like that to her tailbone.
45:32
Speaker 1: You got to, I'm serious. Don't touch her booty hole.
45:34
Speaker 1: Just put it on the flat part. And you got
45:36
Speaker 1: to shake her whole body up.
45:37
Speaker 2: She can be like, this is fucking stupid.
45:40
Speaker 1: But all that nut in there, like we found where
45:42
Speaker 1: we're supposed to go. And that's how you have a
45:46
Speaker 1: baby right there. You want a boy, you got to
45:49
Speaker 1: hit from the back. You want a girl, you got
45:51
Speaker 1: to let her be on top.
45:53
Speaker 2: She needs a leash? Okay, Sailor Jupiter, calm your ass down.
45:58
Speaker 2: She needs a leash.
46:00
Speaker 1: I'm normal.
46:06
Speaker 2: You have six kids? God damn.
46:09
Speaker 1: Are you populating an underpopulated area that....
46:16
Speaker 2: You have an enlarged uterus? Like how enlarged? I've never
46:20
Speaker 2: heard of that. I've heard enlarged clitoris. I've heard of.
46:23
Speaker 1: What.
46:27
Speaker 2: Did you say, baby?
46:30
Speaker 1: She said one ear, big uterus. I was with a
46:35
Speaker 1: girl that had a big uterus once, but I didn't
46:37
Speaker 1: know it until I was in there. I went down
46:41
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm going to eat you out.
46:43
Speaker 2: Eat you out. Eat you out. Eat you out. Eat
46:47
Speaker 2: you out. Eat you out. Eat you out. Eat you out.
46:53
Speaker 1: Eat you out.
46:54
Speaker 2: Eat you out. Eat you out. Eat you out. Eat
46:59
Speaker 2: you out. Eat you out. Eat you out. Eat you out.
47:06
Speaker 2: Eat you out.
47:09
Speaker 3: Eat you out. Eat you out.
47:10
Speaker 2: Eat you out. Eat you out. Eat you out. Eat
47:13
Speaker 2: you out. Eat you out. Eat you out. Eat you out.