Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Shanti Das Talks ‘Silence The Shame’ Day, Navigating Grief, The Importance Of Funding Mental Health Initiatives + More

Transcript

INTERVIEW: Shanti Das Talks ‘Silence The Shame’ Day, Navigating Grief, The Importance Of Funding Mental Health Initiatives + More · The Breakfast Club

0:01
Speaker 1: Every day a week ago, clicks.
0:03
Speaker 2: Up the Breakfast Club.
0:05
Speaker 3: You don't finish for y'all.
0:06
Speaker 2: Done morning everybody. It's DJ Envy Jess hilarious, Chelamage to God.
0:12
Speaker 2: We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest
0:15
Speaker 2: in the building. Yes, indeed, today is Silence the Shame Day.
0:18
Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen. We have Shaunty Dots welcome. Hey, how
0:21
Speaker 2: are you feeling?
0:22
Speaker 3: I'm feeling good. I got a lot to talk about though,
0:25
Speaker 3: but first I just want to say this is my
0:27
Speaker 3: nine time recording the Breakfast Club for Silence to Shame,
0:31
Speaker 3: and the tenth time because y'all had me on to
0:32
Speaker 3: talk about my Grief Guide two years ago. So it's
0:35
Speaker 3: like my ten year and Virtuary two for me on
0:37
Speaker 3: the Breakfast clubs. Thank you?
0:39
Speaker 2: How are you feeling? You kind of studied for a second.
0:41
Speaker 3: So you know, and you know, I've had a point,
0:43
Speaker 3: especially from a mental health perspective, where I keep it real.
0:46
Speaker 3: Even I saw you at the Accelerator comcasts and congratulations,
0:49
Speaker 3: but you ladies were coming up to me saying how
0:51
Speaker 3: are you doing it? I'm like, it's tough right now,
0:53
Speaker 3: and so what should be celebratory for ten years of
0:57
Speaker 3: doing this work, being on the front lines six hundred
1:00
Speaker 3: thousand dollars of funding two weeks ago.
1:03
Speaker 2: Wow, what happened?
1:05
Speaker 3: We lost state funding and we weren't really given a reason.
1:08
Speaker 3: We were just told it was cutbacks. And so we
1:11
Speaker 3: know that some of the state funding comes from federal
1:14
Speaker 3: but then it trickles down. But to do that to
1:17
Speaker 3: us when we were in the middle of programs. We
1:20
Speaker 3: just graduated our third cohort for our Silence to Shame
1:23
Speaker 3: University Initiative, which is our college leadership program. We now
1:27
Speaker 3: have over seventy ambassadors, like y'all were doing the work, Like,
1:30
Speaker 3: how can y'all cut us off a program we've already
1:33
Speaker 3: like we're six months in and you're telling us you're
1:36
Speaker 3: not gonna like reimburse us for it because it was
1:38
Speaker 3: a contract, you know, with the state government. So I
1:42
Speaker 3: don't know. I can't say specifically, but I do think
1:45
Speaker 3: it's probably an effect of what's going on with the administration.
1:48
Speaker 3: Silence to Shame is not the only organization that has
1:51
Speaker 3: lost funding. I was talking to doctor Spirit seventy five
1:54
Speaker 3: percent of her funding is gone. You know, we see
1:57
Speaker 3: mental health organizations merging together. It's a lot easier to
2:00
Speaker 3: merged for profit companies than nonprofit companies. But one thing
2:04
Speaker 3: I am standing on y'all is my faith, and so
2:07
Speaker 3: most people know I don't impose my faith on anyone,
2:09
Speaker 3: but I'm trusting God through the storm. And I recently
2:12
Speaker 3: heard this lady talk about eagles and how eagles are
2:16
Speaker 3: in the midst of the storm, but they used their
2:19
Speaker 3: the wind shear to propel them up. And I feel
2:22
Speaker 3: like I'm in the middle of the storm and I'm
2:23
Speaker 3: just gonna store like an eagle and figure it out
2:26
Speaker 3: because it's money out there, and more importantly, we're saving vibes.
2:29
Speaker 3: You know, we've impacted millions of people virtually through resources,
2:34
Speaker 3: but just physically, tens of thousands of people that we've
2:37
Speaker 3: touched through our programs, whether that's our Youth Cope clinic,
2:41
Speaker 3: we have a Youth Advisory Council, a parent cafe, parent
2:44
Speaker 3: Advisory Council, the silence and shame university, Like, you know,
2:47
Speaker 3: we're doing the work.
2:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, what I don't understand is if you're already hurting
2:51
Speaker 1: people economically, right, where do they where do they think
2:55
Speaker 1: people are going to you know, go to get get
2:58
Speaker 1: help exactly? Like you know what I mean like that
3:00
Speaker 1: economic strife is causes mental strife, emotional strife, spiritual scrife
3:05
Speaker 1: a lot of way.
3:06
Speaker 3: And what I tell people, y'all, people still look at
3:08
Speaker 3: mental health sometimes like it's a bad word. I'm like,
3:10
Speaker 3: we all have mental health. It's how you think, how
3:12
Speaker 3: you act, and how you feel. And to your point,
3:15
Speaker 3: if your mental health is not right, your finances won't
3:17
Speaker 3: be right, your health won't be right. You won't be
3:19
Speaker 3: able to get married and have children and sustain your
3:21
Speaker 3: family household. Like it starts with our wellness in the brain.
3:25
Speaker 3: And if we just change this concept, that's why we
3:28
Speaker 3: continue to fight so hard to erase that stigma around it.
3:31
Speaker 1: Even said that because I didn't even I mean, I
3:33
Speaker 1: know you told me that, but I didn't know. I
3:35
Speaker 1: don't think a lot of people know that type of
3:37
Speaker 1: funding is being cut.
3:37
Speaker 3: Oh gosh.
3:38
Speaker 1: Yeah.
3:39
Speaker 3: And so you know, we've been rallying the truth. So
3:42
Speaker 3: we're just trying to find more family foundations, you know,
3:44
Speaker 3: more grand opportunities. The other thing is it's may, y'all.
3:48
Speaker 3: Most of the grant cycles for twenty twenty six are
3:50
Speaker 3: done twenty seven. So I'm like, y'all just out here
3:54
Speaker 3: got us, you know, out here looking crazy. But again,
3:56
Speaker 3: I serve a good God. We have great followers, great supporters,
3:59
Speaker 3: and I do want to celebrate the good work that
4:02
Speaker 3: Silence and Shame has done over the last ten years.
4:04
Speaker 4: But that's what's so crazy about like grief, right is
4:07
Speaker 4: like things because you're probably grieving what you're not able
4:10
Speaker 4: to do. But even when I saw you at Accelerate her,
4:13
Speaker 4: like we could barely talk to each other because people
4:16
Speaker 4: coming up to you and telling you like they're so
4:18
Speaker 4: happy to see you, they're proud of you and all
4:19
Speaker 4: these things that you're doing, and internally you're like, you're
4:23
Speaker 4: literally visiting going through something right now.
4:26
Speaker 3: And I had an ugly cry at Accelerate Her shout
4:28
Speaker 3: out to Kim Blackwell. But and I told her, I
4:30
Speaker 3: was like, I didn't even know that I was gonna
4:32
Speaker 3: make it here. But it was just that strength to
4:34
Speaker 3: persevere and to keep going, knowing that when I'm getting
4:37
Speaker 3: emails and text from people like my son is a
4:40
Speaker 3: lie because of the work that you do, or by
4:42
Speaker 3: you even sharing your stories, you know, because this started,
4:44
Speaker 3: Silence and Shame started, you know, for me almost taking
4:47
Speaker 3: my own wife in twenty fifteen, so we've come too far.
4:50
Speaker 3: We've partnered with national groups like Sony Music Publishing, the
4:53
Speaker 3: NFL Players Association, Jack and J. We just did a
4:56
Speaker 3: partnership that we launched with the Home Depot Backyard in Atlanta.
4:59
Speaker 3: So hoping that some private donor or even just you know,
5:03
Speaker 3: everyday people who love and support the work that we do,
5:06
Speaker 3: or might have a family member that's suffering, you know,
5:08
Speaker 3: might want to support our organization.
5:10
Speaker 1: And the other thing that it just bugs me out,
5:13
Speaker 1: what do they think these people are going to do it?
5:15
Speaker 1: There's people out here who are dealing with actual mental
5:17
Speaker 1: health issues and nobody's giving them any hope. The federal
5:21
Speaker 1: government isn't doing anything for them. Plus you're cutting funding
5:23
Speaker 1: for organizations that actually care about these people. What do
5:26
Speaker 1: you think it's going to through our society?
5:28
Speaker 3: People are going to continue to be in crisis, I think.
5:31
Speaker 1: And be out here snapping.
5:32
Speaker 3: Yeah. And oftentimes I tell people, even like with all
5:35
Speaker 3: the doom scrolling we're doing, right, you get on social media,
5:37
Speaker 3: so much negativity out there when people like leave those
5:40
Speaker 3: nasty comments. Oftentimes it has nothing to do with the
5:43
Speaker 3: person's page that their own. They are hurting and they're
5:46
Speaker 3: going through their own issues. That is why we try
5:48
Speaker 3: to teach people to deal with your own emotions, have
5:51
Speaker 3: healthier ways to cope. Like even for me, I'm trying
5:54
Speaker 3: to make sure I don't fall and slip back into
5:56
Speaker 3: a depression because of what we're doing. I have so
5:58
Speaker 3: many friends Charlemagne right now that are out of jobs.
6:01
Speaker 3: I'm talking so many women of color had great jobs,
6:05
Speaker 3: but just the opportunities aren't there. They're drying up. And
6:07
Speaker 3: so yeah, people are having to focus on those healthy
6:10
Speaker 3: coping mechanisms to stay whole or else we're going to
6:13
Speaker 3: have a society that's depressed.
6:14
Speaker 4: And you're probably a person that so many people call
6:17
Speaker 4: all the time.
6:18
Speaker 3: You got it at midnight. My son's going through this,
6:20
Speaker 3: Can you please help me? Just my brother just connecting
6:23
Speaker 3: me with another friend whose brother had some physical health
6:25
Speaker 3: challenges that led to mental health challenges, and I was
6:29
Speaker 3: happy to reach out and talk. But I'm getting all
6:31
Speaker 3: of that on top of everything else, and so people
6:33
Speaker 3: out how you're hurting right now?
6:35
Speaker 1: You know one thing I really want to focus on
6:37
Speaker 1: me and my good sister Debbie Brown was talking about it,
6:40
Speaker 1: especially at the Mental Health expot this year, is we're
6:44
Speaker 1: talking about mental health. We're having all these conversations, right,
6:46
Speaker 1: what are people actually healing?
6:48
Speaker 3: One hundred percent. I'm so glad you said that because
6:51
Speaker 3: I feel like the conversation, especially even with gen Z
6:55
Speaker 3: and I know Jen Alpha is too young to really
6:57
Speaker 3: talk about it. But even though some young kids are
6:59
Speaker 3: starting to talk about it, people are discussing it, but
7:03
Speaker 3: I don't think they're getting the help that they need.
7:05
Speaker 3: That is why organizations, you know, like Silence of Shame
7:09
Speaker 3: and even the work that the Mental Health Coalition does
7:11
Speaker 3: with bringing all the mental health groups together is so
7:13
Speaker 3: super important because it's about repetition, it's about you. You
7:16
Speaker 3: got to keep telling people to check in with your friends,
7:20
Speaker 3: check in with your mental health. We have to get
7:22
Speaker 3: a check up every year you go, you get your
7:23
Speaker 3: physical or even this thing y'all our cell phone. If
7:26
Speaker 3: you don't charge this puppy at night, what's gonna happen.
7:30
Speaker 3: It's gonna be dying, it's gonna be depleted. So if
7:32
Speaker 3: we don't continue to pour back into our health and
7:33
Speaker 3: wellness on a daily basis, then no, we're not healing.
7:38
Speaker 3: And I think that's what's happening. We're pacifying ourselves. We're
7:40
Speaker 3: putting band aids on things. So shout out to all
7:43
Speaker 3: the great therapists, psychiatrist, social workers is out there on
7:46
Speaker 3: the front lines. But people, and I talk to people
7:49
Speaker 3: at some companies, You're like, oh, yeah, we have all
7:51
Speaker 3: those resources, but I don't use them.
7:53
Speaker 2: Why let me ask you this janty. You know, there's
7:56
Speaker 2: a lot of people out there that are struggling, right, yep,
7:59
Speaker 2: what advice did you give them? Kind of just to
8:01
Speaker 2: get their toe wet a little bit, their feet wet, right,
8:03
Speaker 2: Because a lot of people are scared of talking to somebody.
8:06
Speaker 2: They feel like they don't want to give everybody their deepest,
8:09
Speaker 2: darkest thoughts. You know, it's for most people that don't speak,
8:12
Speaker 2: it's like, well, what can you do to guide them
8:14
Speaker 2: to get to that place? What can they do besides
8:16
Speaker 2: talking to a therapist? Is there any exercises that they
8:19
Speaker 2: can do on their own before they get there, like
8:21
Speaker 2: getting them up that ladder or getting them up the
8:23
Speaker 2: steps to get to that point?
8:24
Speaker 3: Absolutely? I mean, so first thing I tell people is
8:27
Speaker 3: so I coin this acronym rap I've said it before,
8:30
Speaker 3: our ap recognizing those unfamiliar thoughts and feelings, because you
8:33
Speaker 3: gotta be honest with yourself. If something's not right or
8:36
Speaker 3: you're acting out or something your behavior pattern is different.
8:39
Speaker 3: You have to internalize that and say, you know what,
8:41
Speaker 3: that actually happened. And so the A is accepting and
8:43
Speaker 3: acknowledging it, and the P is processing through it with
8:47
Speaker 3: a professional so our ap. But even something as simple
8:50
Speaker 3: as saying, you know what, use the breathing technique if
8:53
Speaker 3: you're having a moment you feel stressed out, pause, take
8:56
Speaker 3: a break, step out of the room. It's a four
8:58
Speaker 3: four eight, you know, or four seven eight. Some people
9:00
Speaker 3: call it. You breathe then four seconds you I mean,
9:04
Speaker 3: you hold it in for seven and then you exhale
9:06
Speaker 3: for eight. The other thing is simply opening up and
9:09
Speaker 3: talking to somebody and saying I need help. You might
9:13
Speaker 3: It might be your friend, it might be a colleague,
9:15
Speaker 3: it might be a coworker, somebody that's gonna come from
9:17
Speaker 3: a place of empathy and not sympathy. We don't need
9:21
Speaker 3: nobody feeling sorry for us, but we need someone to
9:23
Speaker 3: kind of put themselves in our shoes. So you gotta
9:25
Speaker 3: be willing to talk to somebody. And that's what I did.
9:28
Speaker 3: I opened up and I was like, I actually need
9:30
Speaker 3: help now, I can't do this by myself. So something
9:33
Speaker 3: as simple as finding a trusted source. We're in the playoffs, y'all.
9:37
Speaker 3: You can't start a basketball game without five players. Who's
9:40
Speaker 3: in your starting five? You need at least five people
9:43
Speaker 3: because everybody's gonna be available at the same time, But
9:46
Speaker 3: have your group of five that you can call when
9:48
Speaker 3: you're having those tough moments. I think everything that we're
9:50
Speaker 3: experiencing right now, like these group techs that I think
9:53
Speaker 3: we're born out of the pandemic, are so important right
9:55
Speaker 3: now because my five girlfriends we talk about the good
9:59
Speaker 3: and the bad. So you gotta be able to event.
10:01
Speaker 3: You gotta let that stuff out, and then we encourage
10:03
Speaker 3: each other to get help or go to the doctor
10:06
Speaker 3: or seek support. So like, get your start in five
10:08
Speaker 3: and wrap through your problems and don't be ashamed. It's
10:12
Speaker 3: nothing to be embarrassed about.
10:13
Speaker 1: I wonder about the group chat thing, though, because you know,
10:15
Speaker 1: you do appreciate getting the text when somebody sends you
10:18
Speaker 1: some you know, love and some light. But man, I
10:20
Speaker 1: wonder what happened to just picking up the phone and calling,
10:22
Speaker 1: Because sometimes I look at the phone and I'll be like,
10:25
Speaker 1: I'm too exhausted day as that. But am I really
10:27
Speaker 1: I'm just used to texting.
10:29
Speaker 3: But you know what, I'll say, you gotta be intentional
10:31
Speaker 3: to in that group chat or that one on one
10:33
Speaker 3: chat and say you know what, I need to talk.
10:35
Speaker 3: I know it's late, but I wouldn't call you if
10:37
Speaker 3: I didn't need it. So being honest with yourself and
10:40
Speaker 3: being honest with the person and being able to just
10:42
Speaker 3: ask for that help, that to me is where the
10:46
Speaker 3: strength lies is saying I'm not okay and I need support.
10:49
Speaker 1: I agree.
10:50
Speaker 3: I see.
10:51
Speaker 1: You got another pamphlet, a Guide to.
10:52
Speaker 3: Get You And so the last one that thank you
10:55
Speaker 3: for supporting it was around the holidays, but this one
10:58
Speaker 3: is I added ten more tips. It's thirty and this
11:00
Speaker 3: is different from the other one, and it's really just
11:02
Speaker 3: to give people grace and understanding through the grief journey.
11:06
Speaker 1: Thirty tips for healing after loss. Yeah, so what have
11:09
Speaker 1: you learned about grief? The more time goes on.
11:12
Speaker 3: The more the time goes on, I think the one
11:14
Speaker 3: thing is that no two people grieve the same, but
11:17
Speaker 3: that grief is something that has a profound effect on
11:20
Speaker 3: our lives and time. Grief counseling and community is what
11:26
Speaker 3: helps to heal. Sometimes, you know, you can find yourself
11:29
Speaker 3: looking at a photo, listening to a song, traveling back
11:32
Speaker 3: to a different city, and the grief just overtakes you
11:35
Speaker 3: and overcomes. What I know is that everybody's going to
11:38
Speaker 3: grieve in some form of fashion, and death is something
11:41
Speaker 3: that none of us can escape. Unfortunately, grief is for
11:44
Speaker 3: the living, not for the people that have passed on.
11:47
Speaker 3: And so once we can get past the debilitating part,
11:49
Speaker 3: have healthy ways to cope with grief, then we can
11:52
Speaker 3: start celebrating the life of our loved ones time.
11:56
Speaker 2: It really.
11:58
Speaker 3: I can't say all, but he is deaf heal Mine.
12:00
Speaker 3: I just had the seventh anniversary of my sister's a
12:04
Speaker 3: friend of mine, April Nichols, my best friend said angel versary,
12:07
Speaker 3: and I love that, and so it was the seventh
12:10
Speaker 3: angel anniversary of my sister and I did find myself
12:13
Speaker 3: not crying as much. I was able to look at
12:16
Speaker 3: her photos and smile. I was able to do things
12:18
Speaker 3: in her honor. But it was only through time, because
12:21
Speaker 3: probably the first three or four years it was debilitating
12:24
Speaker 3: for me. Tom definitely helps you.
12:27
Speaker 4: Talk about in here in your book about your body
12:30
Speaker 4: experiencing grief too, like.
12:32
Speaker 3: The physical part of yeah, absolutely, which people.
12:34
Speaker 4: If they don't understand that they're grieving, they don't understand
12:36
Speaker 4: the reaction to their body as well.
12:38
Speaker 3: To That's why it's important to talk to your doctors
12:40
Speaker 3: and they'll tell you whether there's a therapist or your
12:42
Speaker 3: primary health care physician. Like I would literally have headaches
12:45
Speaker 3: all the time. I felt like it was not in
12:47
Speaker 3: my stomach, and it was a part of the grief
12:49
Speaker 3: and the pressure and the depression that I was going through.
12:52
Speaker 3: And it was crazy about that.
12:53
Speaker 4: I feel like as women, like my mom used to
12:55
Speaker 4: always talk about like she she would know when I
12:58
Speaker 4: was upset by something when I was young because I
13:00
Speaker 4: would sleep a lot. And I didn't realize that that
13:02
Speaker 4: was like a depression thing or sadness thing until I
13:04
Speaker 4: became grown. But I think as women, we pay attention
13:07
Speaker 4: to it a lot more about absolutely.
13:09
Speaker 3: But that's a sign that's really exemplary for young young people,
13:14
Speaker 3: right and kids when they're experiencing any sort of you know,
13:17
Speaker 3: mental health challenges or even dealing with grief. It shows
13:20
Speaker 3: up in other ways in our body and in our thoughts.
13:22
Speaker 2: And I was going to ask, you know, how do
13:24
Speaker 2: you deal with mental health now, right, you just said
13:27
Speaker 2: when you came here, you know something bothered you, the
13:29
Speaker 2: fact that they took six hundred thousand dollars from you
13:31
Speaker 2: and whatever it may be. How do you deal with
13:33
Speaker 2: that now? How do you make sure that you don't
13:35
Speaker 2: go back down that rabbit hole or where you were
13:36
Speaker 2: before or that feeling.
13:38
Speaker 3: That's very important and I'm again kind of going through
13:41
Speaker 3: that right now. I'm going back into therapy because you're
13:44
Speaker 3: out of therapy. Yeah, I was out because I felt
13:46
Speaker 3: like I had the tools and I could manage it
13:48
Speaker 3: and I wasn't really dealing with any crisis or anything
13:51
Speaker 3: and not again working in this space. I was practicing
13:54
Speaker 3: what I preached, right, I was going out taking walks,
13:56
Speaker 3: I was exercising, I was staying on top of my
13:59
Speaker 3: diet because certain food who's weigh you down? But now
14:01
Speaker 3: I really feel like I need to be back in
14:03
Speaker 3: therapy and talking through it with someone. And so again,
14:06
Speaker 3: don't be afraid to see that therapist. Don't be afraid
14:08
Speaker 3: to tell your doctor that you're not feeling well. And
14:11
Speaker 3: I have been more open about those thoughts. I used
14:14
Speaker 3: to be embarrassed to tell friends I wasn't in a
14:16
Speaker 3: good space. So now I'm more open and I share
14:18
Speaker 3: about it, and I do again know I need to
14:20
Speaker 3: be back in therapy, and if I feel like I
14:21
Speaker 3: can't shake it, I'll start back on my antidepressants. When
14:25
Speaker 3: I first was going through my suicidal ideation, I had
14:27
Speaker 3: to go on antidepressants. I could not balance out that
14:31
Speaker 3: chemical imbalance just with talk therapy for me, it didn't
14:34
Speaker 3: work for me that way. I needed you know, medication
14:36
Speaker 3: for that. But now I know I need to be
14:38
Speaker 3: talking to somebody on a regular basis again. So I
14:40
Speaker 3: couple that with my faith. I in terms of repetition,
14:44
Speaker 3: I have certain prayers that I'll listen to over and
14:46
Speaker 3: over and over again, just teaching me that you know,
14:49
Speaker 3: what God has for me is for me. And I
14:51
Speaker 3: can't compare myself to everybody because also we get into
14:54
Speaker 3: a habit of looking at social media and looking at
14:56
Speaker 3: other organizations or people out there in the streets, thinking
14:59
Speaker 3: why me? Why as is happening to me? And so
15:01
Speaker 3: I try not to let the noise in. So I'm
15:03
Speaker 3: trying to protect my peace.
15:04
Speaker 2: You think this is every point and it's a forsh
15:07
Speaker 2: all the men as well. You think it's a point
15:08
Speaker 2: where you can stop going a therapy, because I always
15:11
Speaker 2: hear that you know, once you go, it seems like
15:13
Speaker 2: this just it's kind of like you take your car
15:15
Speaker 2: to get the oil changed. You know, you go to
15:17
Speaker 2: the doctor for your body. You know, this is kind
15:20
Speaker 2: of the same thing. This is like working out your brain.
15:22
Speaker 2: Do you ever think this is a reason to stop
15:24
Speaker 2: going a therapy because you said you stopped. You said
15:26
Speaker 2: you figured like you you was able to control everything.
15:29
Speaker 3: Some people go all the time, and I applaud that
15:31
Speaker 3: and if they need it. For me, I just felt
15:33
Speaker 3: like I was equipped with certain tools, but wellness will
15:36
Speaker 3: always be a part of my journey and what I
15:38
Speaker 3: do right, So I do the things that my therapist
15:40
Speaker 3: taught me to do. But again, there's certain things if
15:44
Speaker 3: you're in a crisis, you know, things are compounded, right,
15:46
Speaker 3: and so I'm dealing with more now, and so I
15:48
Speaker 3: feel like even those tools may not be helping at
15:50
Speaker 3: the moment, and I just don't want to send myself
15:53
Speaker 3: back down a rabbit hole. That's why I'm going to
15:55
Speaker 3: go back in and see my therapist and again, Realf,
15:57
Speaker 3: it's almost like a check up, right and go back in.
15:59
Speaker 3: But some people I know go to their therapists forever,
16:01
Speaker 3: just like they go to get their annual chuck up
16:04
Speaker 3: or I mean, I don't know if you have any
16:06
Speaker 3: other feedback the No, You're right, I don't.
16:08
Speaker 1: I don't have to go every week like I did
16:10
Speaker 1: for a while. But you know, like you said, whenever
16:12
Speaker 1: I feel like I need that tune up, that check up.
16:14
Speaker 3: One hundred, one hundred, I.
16:17
Speaker 1: Do find myself getting I've been going a lot more
16:19
Speaker 1: lately because I've I don't know, I've been dealing with anger.
16:22
Speaker 1: But I'm mad at the world. I'm not mad at
16:24
Speaker 1: like anything going on internally, like I'm just mad at the.
16:29
Speaker 2: Condition of some of that is.
16:30
Speaker 3: We feel like we're living in a twilight zone because
16:32
Speaker 3: I think things are affecting us now. I just went
16:35
Speaker 3: to Montgomery a few weeks ago, and I got to
16:37
Speaker 3: experience the great museums that were done with Brian Stevenson
16:40
Speaker 3: and the Equal Justice Initiative, and it angered me in
16:43
Speaker 3: certain ways to thinking like, Okay, they're trying to roll
16:47
Speaker 3: back certain things, the Voting Rights Act, and so I
16:49
Speaker 3: find myself in anger as well, and I'm having to
16:52
Speaker 3: use those tools to calm myself down. And protect my peace.
16:55
Speaker 3: But I think unfortunately it's a lot of people that
16:58
Speaker 3: probably feel the same way you're feeling, but they're not
17:00
Speaker 3: getting the support that they need for it.
17:02
Speaker 1: I'm more mad at us and the way we we
17:06
Speaker 1: attack each other. Yes, the way we handle each other,
17:09
Speaker 1: that's what That's why I feel like a lot of
17:11
Speaker 1: my frustration comes from more than.
17:13
Speaker 3: Any mine, is what's going on in the world right now,
17:16
Speaker 3: because I really feel like I'm grateful that I grew
17:19
Speaker 3: up in the eighties and it was so much more
17:21
Speaker 3: Not to say we didn't have our issues back then,
17:23
Speaker 3: but I do feel bad for a lot of our
17:25
Speaker 3: youth and young adults who are having to like have
17:27
Speaker 3: to deal you know, you go to school, you gotta
17:29
Speaker 3: go and deal with like active shooter drills and stuff
17:32
Speaker 3: like child should have to deal with that. And so
17:34
Speaker 3: that is why mental health is so much more important
17:36
Speaker 3: right now, because it's so much more pressure from the
17:38
Speaker 3: world on our communities.
17:40
Speaker 1: What other measurable change should we be holding ourselves to do,
17:46
Speaker 1: Because like I said, you know, we always have these
17:48
Speaker 1: conversations about eradicating the stigma and talking, but what other
17:51
Speaker 1: things could we be doing to actually get closer to healing.
17:54
Speaker 3: So you got to model the behavior for family and friends.
17:58
Speaker 3: You can't just tell people you gotta do it. Your
18:01
Speaker 3: mommy can't just say you know you need how are
18:03
Speaker 3: you doing? Are you okay? If mom and dad's not okay,
18:05
Speaker 3: y'all got to get help too. Because the kids pay attention.
18:08
Speaker 3: You know a lot of teams. You know, they're on
18:11
Speaker 3: they're playing games, they're on their phones. They may not
18:13
Speaker 3: have that open communication, you know like our generation did,
18:17
Speaker 3: but they are watching what's happening. So parents, watch what
18:21
Speaker 3: you're saying, watch all you're moving. Even our friends, we
18:24
Speaker 3: got a model behavior patterns with friends. If we see
18:26
Speaker 3: something that's not right, you see something, say something. You
18:29
Speaker 3: know they used to say that back in the day.
18:30
Speaker 3: So we just got to speak.
18:32
Speaker 2: Up absolutely well. How can people donate if they need
18:35
Speaker 2: to donate?
18:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, So again today's National Silence to Shamed eight ten
18:38
Speaker 3: years in. So we're doing just a grassroots campaign asking
18:41
Speaker 3: people to donate ten dollars and then challenge ten of
18:44
Speaker 3: your friends to give ten dollars. You can text the
18:46
Speaker 3: words silence to seven O seven O seven O, or
18:50
Speaker 3: you can visit silencedshame dot com and I would be
18:52
Speaker 3: remiss if I didn't shout out my amazing small team
18:54
Speaker 3: Jewel getting Timeir, Megan, Nick and Sonya. We are small
18:58
Speaker 3: but mighty and y'all we saving lives. So please, if
19:01
Speaker 3: you have anything, if you don't have it, just post
19:04
Speaker 3: for us. Encourage your friends and families, celebrities, everyday, people, therapists, everybody.
19:10
Speaker 3: Just please help us to keep continue doing this great.
19:13
Speaker 1: Work in this suicide and crisis lifeline.
19:17
Speaker 3: And so nine eight eight is a national resource. It
19:20
Speaker 3: has replaced what we knew as a national suicide lifeline
19:23
Speaker 3: one eight hundred and two seventy three. Talk all y'all
19:25
Speaker 3: gotta do now literally is pick up the phone, y'all
19:27
Speaker 3: and down nine eight eight. You'll be connected to a
19:31
Speaker 3: trained crisis counselor that'll answer the phone, talk to you,
19:33
Speaker 3: try to understand what you're going through and push you
19:35
Speaker 3: to resources. And if the local crisis counseling center is
19:38
Speaker 3: not available in your state, guess what, it automatically pushes
19:42
Speaker 3: you to a national number. It worked for me. I
19:45
Speaker 3: called the National Suicide Lifeline the night that I was
19:48
Speaker 3: in crisis, and it helped me. They talked to me
19:50
Speaker 3: for twenty minutes and talked to me off. I always
19:52
Speaker 3: wonder if it actually help. Actually sat in my car
19:57
Speaker 3: and talk to them, and I'm they saved my life
20:03
Speaker 3: that night, and my sister and my pastor who happens
20:07
Speaker 3: to be centered to warnock. It helps, y'all, it works.
20:11
Speaker 3: Don't be afraid to get help. Don't be afraid to
20:13
Speaker 3: reach out and ask for help. I don't know why
20:15
Speaker 3: I'm getting emotions, but ten years of fighting this good fight,
20:19
Speaker 3: I did not almost take my own life and start
20:21
Speaker 3: this to end the work that we're doing. I don't
20:25
Speaker 3: want anybody else to think that suicide is an option.
20:27
Speaker 3: You know, the former lieutenant governor of Maryland who took
20:30
Speaker 3: his own life and his wife's like wife's life. I
20:34
Speaker 3: just my heart goes out to the kids, to everybody
20:36
Speaker 3: that's going through anything, y'all. Health is available. I don't
20:39
Speaker 3: care if you're ten or seventy or fifty. Where's the camera.
20:45
Speaker 3: I just want to look straight into camera and tell
20:47
Speaker 3: people it's okay to get help. Silence is a shame
20:50
Speaker 3: around your emotions, y'all. It's people out here hurting high achievers,
20:53
Speaker 3: hurting students, hurting family members, hurting y'all. We gotta erase
20:58
Speaker 3: the stigma. Mental health has no diff front than physical health.
21:00
Speaker 3: So please, please please continue to Silence the shame and
21:03
Speaker 3: support our organization. And if you want to get my
21:06
Speaker 3: grief guid you can go to Shanty Does dot b
21:09
Speaker 3: I Z because it's a lot of people out there
21:10
Speaker 3: grieving as well. I love y'all so much. I just
21:13
Speaker 3: want to thank y'all for always having me.
21:15
Speaker 2: Join us Shaunty Does Silence the Shame Day. Make sure
21:18
Speaker 2: you donate if you can. Mister Breakfast Club, good morning, hold.
21:23
Speaker 3: On every day.
21:24
Speaker 2: Up, wake up the Breakfast Club.
21:27
Speaker 3: You're finish for y'all done.