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Eve's Diary - Mark Twain · Mark Twain Classics Podcast

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Speaker 1: Eve's Diary by Mark Twain, translated from the original part
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Speaker 1: one Saturday, I am almost a whole day old now.
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Speaker 1: I arrived yesterday. That is as it seems to me,
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Speaker 1: and it must be so, for if there was a
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Speaker 1: day before yesterday, I was not there when it happened,
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Speaker 1: or I should remember it. It could be, of course,
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Speaker 1: that it did happen and that I was not noticing
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Speaker 1: very well. I will be very watchful now, and if
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Speaker 1: any day before yesterday's happen, I will make a note
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Speaker 1: of it. It will be best to start right and
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Speaker 1: not let the record get confused. For some instinct tells
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Speaker 1: me that these details are going to be important to
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Speaker 1: the historian some day. For I feel like an experiment.
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Speaker 1: I feel exactly like an experiment. It would be impossible
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Speaker 1: for a person to feel more like an experiment than
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Speaker 1: I do, And so I am coming to feel convinced
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Speaker 1: that that is what I am. An experiment, just an experiment,
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Speaker 1: and nothing more than if I am an experiment. Am
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Speaker 1: I the whole of it?
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Speaker 2: No?
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Speaker 1: I think not. I think the rest of it is
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Speaker 1: part of it. I am the main part of it,
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Speaker 1: but I think the rest of it has its share
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Speaker 1: in the matter. Is my position assured, or do I
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Speaker 1: have to watch it and take care of it the latter.
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Speaker 1: Perhaps some instinct tells me that the eternal vigilance is
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Speaker 1: the price of supremacy. That is a good phrase, I think,
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Speaker 1: for one so young. Everything looks better to day than
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Speaker 1: it did yesterday. In the rush of finishing up yesterday,
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Speaker 1: the mountains were left in a ragged condition, and some
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Speaker 1: of the plains were so cluttered with rubbish and remnants
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Speaker 1: that the aspects were quite distressing. Noble and beautiful works
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Speaker 1: of art should not be subjected to haste, and this
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Speaker 1: majestic new World is indeed a most noble and beautiful work,
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Speaker 1: and certainly marvelously near to being perfect, notwithstanding the shortness
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Speaker 1: of the time. There are too many stars in some
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Speaker 1: places and not enough in others, but that can be
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Speaker 1: remedied presently, no doubt, the moon got loose last night
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Speaker 1: and slid down and fell out of the scheme, a
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Speaker 1: very great loss. It breaks my heart to think of it.
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Speaker 1: There isn't another thing among the ornaments and decoration that
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Speaker 1: is comparable to it. For beauty and finish. It should
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Speaker 1: have been fastened better. If we can only get it
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Speaker 1: back again, but of course there is no telling where
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Speaker 1: it went to. And besides, whoever gets it will hide it.
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Speaker 1: I know it because I would do it myself. I
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Speaker 1: believe I can be honest in all other matters. But
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Speaker 1: I already begin to realize that the core and center
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Speaker 1: of my nature is love of the beautiful, a passion
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Speaker 1: for the beautiful, and that it would not be safe
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Speaker 1: to trust me with a moon that belonged to another
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Speaker 1: person and that person didn't know I had it. I
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Speaker 1: could give up a moon that I found in the
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Speaker 1: daytime because I should be afraid some one was looking.
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Speaker 1: But if I found it in the dark, I am
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Speaker 1: sure I should find some kind of an excuse for
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Speaker 1: not saying anything about it. For I do love moons.
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Speaker 1: They are so pretty and so romantic. I wish I
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Speaker 1: had five or six. I would never go to bed.
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Speaker 1: I should never get tired of lying on the moss
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Speaker 1: bank and looking up at them. Stars are good too.
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Speaker 1: I wish I could get some to put in my hair,
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Speaker 1: but I suppose I never can. You'd be surprised to
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Speaker 1: find out how far off they are, for they do
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Speaker 1: not look it. When they first showed last night, I
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Speaker 1: tried to knock them down with a pole, but it
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Speaker 1: didn't reach, which astonished me. Then I tried clods till
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Speaker 1: I was all tired out, but I never got one.
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Speaker 1: It was because I am left handed and cannot throw good.
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Speaker 1: Even when I aimed at the one, I wasn't after
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Speaker 1: I couldn't hit the other one, though I did make
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Speaker 1: some close shots, for I saw the black dot of
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Speaker 1: the clod sail right into the midst of the golden
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Speaker 1: clusters forty or fifty times, just barely missing them. And
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Speaker 1: if I could have held out a little longer, maybe
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Speaker 1: I could have got one. So I cried a little,
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Speaker 1: which was natural, I suppose, for one of my age.
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Speaker 1: And after I was rested, I got a basket and
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Speaker 1: started for a place on the extreme rim of the
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Speaker 1: circle where the stars were close to the ground and
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Speaker 1: I could get them with my hands, which would be
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Speaker 1: better anyway, because I could gather them tenderly then and
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Speaker 1: not break them. But it was further than I thought,
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Speaker 1: and at last I had to give it up. I
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Speaker 1: was so tired I couldn't drag my feet another step,
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Speaker 1: and besides they were so sore and hurt me very much.
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Speaker 1: I couldn't get back home. It was too far and
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Speaker 1: turning cold. But I found some tigers and nestled in
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Speaker 1: among them, and was most adorably comfortable. And their breath
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Speaker 1: was sweet and pleasant because they lived on strawberries. I
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Speaker 1: had never seen a tiger before, but I knew them
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Speaker 1: in a minute by the stripes. If I could have
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Speaker 1: one of those skins, it would make a lovely gown.
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Speaker 1: To day, I'm getting better ideas about distances. I was
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Speaker 1: so eager to get hold of every pretty thing that
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Speaker 1: I giddily grabbed for it, sometimes when it was too
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Speaker 1: far off, and sometimes when it was but six inches
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Speaker 1: away but seemed a foot alas with thorns in between.
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Speaker 1: I learned a lesson. Also, I made an axiom all
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Speaker 1: out of my own head, my very first one, the
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Speaker 1: scratched experiment shuns the thorn. I think it's a very
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Speaker 1: good one for one so young. I followed the other
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Speaker 1: experiment around yesterday afternoon at a distance to see what
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Speaker 1: it might be for if I could, but I was
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Speaker 1: not able to make out. I think it is a man.
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Speaker 1: I had never seen a man, but it looked like one,
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Speaker 1: and I feel sure that that is what it is.
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Speaker 1: I realize that I feel more curiosity about it than
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Speaker 1: about any of the other reptiles. If it is a reptile,
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Speaker 1: and I suppose it is, for it has frowsy hair
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Speaker 1: and blue eyes and looks like a reptile. It is
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Speaker 1: no hips. It tapers like a carrot. When it stands,
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Speaker 1: it spreads itself apart like a derrick. So I think
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Speaker 1: it is a reptile, though it may be architecture. I
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Speaker 1: was afraid of it at first, and started to run
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Speaker 1: every time it turned round, for I thought it was
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Speaker 1: going to chase me. But by and by I found
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Speaker 1: it was only trying to get away. So after that
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Speaker 1: I was not timid any more, but tracked it along
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Speaker 1: several hours, about twenty yards behind, which made it very
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Speaker 1: nervous and unhappy. At last, it was a good deal.
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Speaker 1: Worried and climbed a tree. I waited a good while,
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Speaker 1: then gave it up and went home to day. The
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Speaker 1: same thing over. I've got it up the tree again.
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Speaker 1: Sunday it is up there yet, resting apparently, But that
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Speaker 1: is a subterfuge. Sunday isn't the day of rest. Saturday
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Speaker 1: is appointed for that. It looks to me like a
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Speaker 1: creature that is more interested in resting than in anything else.
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Speaker 1: It would tire me to rest so much. It tires
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Speaker 1: me just to sit around and watch the tree. I
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Speaker 1: do wonder what it is for. I never see it
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Speaker 1: do anything. They returned the moon last night, and I
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Speaker 1: was so happy. I think it was very honest of them.
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Speaker 1: It slid down and fell off again, but I was
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Speaker 1: not distressed. There is no need to worry when one
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Speaker 1: has that kind of neighbor's They will fetch it back.
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Speaker 1: I wish I could do something to show my appreciation.
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Speaker 1: I would like to send them some stars, for we
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Speaker 1: have more than we can use. I mean I not we,
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Speaker 1: for I can see that the reptile cares nothing for
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Speaker 1: such things. It has low tastes and is not kind.
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Speaker 1: When I went there yesterday evening in the gloaming, it
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Speaker 1: had crept down and was trying to catch the little
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Speaker 1: speckled fishes that play in the pool, and I had
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Speaker 1: to clawed it to make it go up the tree
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Speaker 1: again and let them alone. I wonder if that is
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Speaker 1: what it is for. Hasn't it any heart? Hasn't it
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Speaker 1: any compassion for those little creatures? Can it be that
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Speaker 1: it was designed and manufactured for such ungentle work. It
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Speaker 1: has the look of it. One of the clods took
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Speaker 1: it back of the ear and it used language. It
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Speaker 1: gave me a thrill, for it was the first time
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Speaker 1: I had ever heard speech except my own. I did
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Speaker 1: not understand the words, but they seemed expressive. When I
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Speaker 1: found that it could talk, I felt a new interest
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Speaker 1: in it, for I love to talk. I talk all
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Speaker 1: day and in my sleep too, and I am very interesting.
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Speaker 1: But if I had another to talk to, I could
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Speaker 1: be twice as interesting and would never stop if desired.
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Speaker 1: If this reptile is a man, it isn't an it
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Speaker 1: is it? That wouldn't be grammatical, would it? I think
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Speaker 1: it would be he? I think so. In that case,
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Speaker 1: one would parse it thus nominative he, dative him, possessive
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Speaker 1: his'n Well, I will consider it a man and call
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Speaker 1: it he until it turns out to be something else.
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Speaker 1: This will be handier than having so many uncertainties. Next
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Speaker 1: week Sunday. All the week I tagged around after him
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Speaker 1: and tried to get acquainted. I had to do the
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Speaker 1: talking because he was shy, but I didn't mind it.
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Speaker 1: He seemed pleased to have me around, and I use
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Speaker 1: a sociable we a good deal because it seemed to
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Speaker 1: flatter him to be included. Wednesday, we are getting along
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Speaker 1: very well indeed now and getting better and better acquainted.
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Speaker 1: He does not try to avoid me any more, which
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Speaker 1: is a good sign and shows that he likes to
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Speaker 1: have me with him. That pleases me, and I study
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Speaker 1: to be useful to him in every way I can
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Speaker 1: so as to increase his regard. During the last day
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Speaker 1: or two, I have taken all the work of naming
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Speaker 1: things off his hands, and this has been a great
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Speaker 1: relief to him, for he has no gift in that line,
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Speaker 1: and is evidently very grateful. He can't think of a
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Speaker 1: rational name to save him. But I do not let
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Speaker 1: him see that I am aware of his defect. Whenever
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Speaker 1: a new creature comes along, I name it before he
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Speaker 1: has time to expose himself by an awkward silence. In
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Speaker 1: this way I have saved him many embarrassments. I have
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Speaker 1: no defect like this. The minute I set eyes on
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Speaker 1: an animal, I know what it is. I don't have
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Speaker 1: to reflect a moment. The right name comes out instantly,
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Speaker 1: just as if it were an inspira, as no doubt
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Speaker 1: it is, for I am sure it wasn't in me
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Speaker 1: half a minute before. I seem to know, just by
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Speaker 1: the shape of the creature and the way it acts,
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Speaker 1: what animal it is. When the dodo came along, he
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Speaker 1: thought it was a wild cat. I saw it in
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Speaker 1: his eye, but I saved him, and I was careful
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Speaker 1: not to do it in a way that could hurt
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Speaker 1: his pride. I just spoke up in a quiet, natural
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Speaker 1: way of pleasing surprise and not as if I was
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Speaker 1: dreaming of conveying information, and said, well, if I do,
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Speaker 1: declare if there isn't the dodo, I explained, without seeming
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Speaker 1: to be explaining, how I knew it for a dodo.
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Speaker 1: And although I thought maybe he was a little piqued
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Speaker 1: that I knew the creature when he didn't, it was
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Speaker 1: quite evident that he admired me. That was very agreeable,
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Speaker 1: and I thought of it more than once with gratification
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Speaker 1: before I slept. How little a thing can make us
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Speaker 1: happy when we feel that we have earned it. Thursday
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Speaker 1: my first sorrow. Yesterday he avoided me and seemed to
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Speaker 1: wish I would not talk to him. I could not
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Speaker 1: believe it, and thought there was some mistake, for I
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Speaker 1: loved to be with him and love to him talk.
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Speaker 1: So how could it be that he could feel unkind
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Speaker 1: toward me when I had not done anything? But at
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Speaker 1: last it seemed true. So I went away and sat
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Speaker 1: lonely in the place where I first saw him the
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Speaker 1: morning that we were made. And I did not know
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Speaker 1: what he was and was indifferent about him. But now
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Speaker 1: it was a mournful place, and every little thing spoke
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Speaker 1: of him, and my heart was very sore. I did
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Speaker 1: not know why, very clearly, for it was a new feeling.
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Speaker 1: I had not experienced it before, and it was all
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Speaker 1: a mystery, and I could not make it out. But
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Speaker 1: when night came, I could not bear the lonesomeness and
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Speaker 1: went to the new shelter which he has built, to
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Speaker 1: ask him what I had done that was wrong, and
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Speaker 1: how could I mend it and get back his kindness again?
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Speaker 1: But he put me out in the rain, and it
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Speaker 1: was my first sorrow. End of part one, Part two.
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Speaker 1: It is pleasant again now and I am happy. But
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Speaker 1: those were heavy days. I do not think of them
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Speaker 1: when I can help it. I tried to get him
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Speaker 1: some of those apples, but I cannot learn to throw straight.
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Speaker 1: I failed, but I think the good intention pleased him.
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Speaker 1: They are forbidden, and he says, I shall come to harm.
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Speaker 1: But so I come to harm through pleasing him. Why
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Speaker 1: shall I care for that harm? Monday? This morning I
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Speaker 1: told him my name, hoping it would interest him, But
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Speaker 1: he did not care for it. It is strange. If
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Speaker 1: he should tell me his name, I would care. I
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Speaker 1: think it would be pleasanter in my ears than any
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Speaker 1: other sound. He talks very little. Perhaps it is because
12:43
Speaker 1: he is not bright and is very sensitive about it
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Speaker 1: and wishes to conceal it. It is such a pity
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Speaker 1: that he should feel so, for brightness is nothing. It
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Speaker 1: is in the heart that the value lies. I wish
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Speaker 1: I could make him understand that a loving, good heart
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Speaker 1: is riches and riches, and that without it, intellect is poverty.
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Speaker 1: Although he talks a little, he has quite a considerable vocabulary.
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Speaker 1: This morning he used a surprisingly good word. He evidently
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Speaker 1: recognized himself that it was a good one, for he
13:14
Speaker 1: worked it in twice afterward, casually. It was good, casual art. Still,
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Speaker 1: it showed that he possesses a certain quality of perception,
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Speaker 1: without a doubt, that seed can be made to grow
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Speaker 1: if cultivated. Where did he get that word? I do
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Speaker 1: not think I have ever used it. No, he took
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Speaker 1: no interest in my name. I tried to hide my disappointment,
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Speaker 1: but I suppose I did not succeed. I went away
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Speaker 1: and sat on the moss bank with my feet in
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Speaker 1: the water. It is where I go when I hunger
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Speaker 1: for companionship, someone to look at, someone to talk to.
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Speaker 1: It is not enough that lovely white body painted there
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Speaker 1: in the pool. But it is something, and something is
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Speaker 1: better than utter loneliness. It talks when I talk. It
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Speaker 1: is sad. When I am sad. It comforts me with
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Speaker 1: its sympathy. It says, do not be downhearted, you poor
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Speaker 1: friendless girl. I will be your friend. It is a
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Speaker 1: good friend to me, and my only one. It is
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Speaker 1: my sister. That first time that she forsook me. Ah,
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Speaker 1: I shall never forget that, never never. My heart was
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Speaker 1: lead in my body. I said she was all I had,
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Speaker 1: and now she is gone. In my despair, I said,
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Speaker 1: break my heart. I cannot bear my life any more,
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Speaker 1: and hid my face in my hands, and there was
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Speaker 1: no solace for me. And when I took them away
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Speaker 1: after a little while, there she was again white and
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Speaker 1: shining and beautiful, and I sprang into her arms. That
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Speaker 1: was perfect happiness. I had known happiness before, but it
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Speaker 1: was not like this, which was ecstasy. I never doubted
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Speaker 1: her afterward. Sometimes she stayed away, maybe an hour, maybe
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Speaker 1: almost the whole day. But I waited and did not doubt.
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Speaker 1: I said, she is busy, or she has gone on
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Speaker 1: a journey. But she will come. And it was so
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Speaker 1: she always did. At night. She would not come if
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Speaker 1: it were dark, for she was a timid little thing.
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Speaker 1: But if there was a moon, she would come. I
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Speaker 1: am not afraid of the dark. But she is younger
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Speaker 1: than I am. She was born after I was many,
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Speaker 1: and many are the visits I have paid her. She
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Speaker 1: is my comfort and my refuge when my life is hard,
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Speaker 1: and it is mainly that Tuesday. All the morning I
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Speaker 1: was at work in proving the estate, and I purposely
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Speaker 1: kept away from him, in the hope that he would
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Speaker 1: get lonely and come. But he did not. At noon,
15:41
Speaker 1: I stopped for the day and took my recreation by
15:43
Speaker 1: flitting all about with the bees and the butterflies, and
15:47
Speaker 1: reveling in the flowers, those beautiful creatures that catch the
15:50
Speaker 1: smile of God out of the sky and preserve it.
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Speaker 1: I gathered them and made them into wreaths and garland,
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Speaker 1: and closed myself in them while I ate my luncheon auples.
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Speaker 1: Of course, then I sat in the shade and wished
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Speaker 1: and waited, but he did not come. But no matter,
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Speaker 1: nothing would have come of it, for he does not
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Speaker 1: care for flowers. He called them rubbish, and cannot tell
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Speaker 1: one from another, and thinks it's superior to feel like that.
16:17
Speaker 1: He does not care for me. He does not care
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Speaker 1: for flowers. He does not care for the painted sky
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Speaker 1: at eventide. Is there anything he does care for except
16:26
Speaker 1: building shacks to coop himself up in from the good,
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Speaker 1: clean rain, and thumping the melons and sampling the grapes
16:33
Speaker 1: and fingering the fruit on the trees to see how
16:35
Speaker 1: those properties are coming along. I laid a dry stick
16:39
Speaker 1: on the ground and tried to bore a hole in
16:41
Speaker 1: it with another one in order to carry out a
16:43
Speaker 1: scheme that I had, And soon I got an awful fright.
16:47
Speaker 1: A thin, transparent, bluish film rose out of the hole,
16:50
Speaker 1: and I dropped everything and ran. I thought it was
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Speaker 1: a spirit, and I was so frightened. But I looked
16:56
Speaker 1: back and it was not coming. So I leaned against
16:59
Speaker 1: a rock and rested and panted and let my limbs
17:02
Speaker 1: go on trembling until they got steady again. Then I
17:05
Speaker 1: crept warily back, alert, watching and ready to fly if
17:09
Speaker 1: there was occasion. And when I was come near, I
17:12
Speaker 1: parted the branches of a rose bush and peeped through,
17:15
Speaker 1: wishing the man was about. I was looking so cunning
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Speaker 1: and pretty, but the spirit was gone. I went there
17:22
Speaker 1: and there was a pinch of delicate pink dust in
17:25
Speaker 1: the hole. I put my finger in it to feel it,
17:28
Speaker 1: and said ouch, and took it out again. It was
17:31
Speaker 1: a cruel pain. I put my finger in my mouth,
17:34
Speaker 1: and by standing first on one foot and then on
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Speaker 1: the other, and grunting, I presently eased my misery. Then
17:41
Speaker 1: I was full of interest and began to examine. I
17:44
Speaker 1: was curious to know what the pink dust was. Suddenly
17:47
Speaker 1: the name of it occurred to me, though I had
17:50
Speaker 1: never heard of it before. It was fire. I was
17:53
Speaker 1: certain of it as a person could be of anything
17:55
Speaker 1: in the world. So without hesitation, I named it that fire.
18:00
Speaker 1: I had created something that didn't exist before. I had
18:04
Speaker 1: added a new thing to the world's uncountable properties. I
18:07
Speaker 1: realized this and was proud of my achievement. I was
18:11
Speaker 1: going to run and find him and tell him about it,
18:14
Speaker 1: thinking to raise myself in his esteem. But I reflected
18:18
Speaker 1: and did not do it. No, he would not care
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Speaker 1: for it. He would ask what it was good for,
18:24
Speaker 1: and what could I answer for? It was not good
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Speaker 1: for something, but only beautiful, merely beautiful. So I sighed
18:31
Speaker 1: and did not go for it wasn't good for anything.
18:34
Speaker 1: It could not build a shack, It could not improve melons,
18:38
Speaker 1: It could not hurry a fruit crop. It was useless.
18:41
Speaker 1: It was a foolishness and a vanity. He would despise
18:45
Speaker 1: it and say cutting words, but to me it was
18:48
Speaker 1: not despicable. I said, oh, you fire, I love you, you
18:52
Speaker 1: dainty pink creature, for you are beautiful and that is enough,
18:58
Speaker 1: and was going to gather it to my breast, but refrained.
19:02
Speaker 1: Then I made another maxim out of my head, though
19:05
Speaker 1: it was so nearly like the first one that I
19:07
Speaker 1: was afraid it was only a plagiarism. The burnt experiment
19:12
Speaker 1: shunned the fire I wrought again, and when I had
19:16
Speaker 1: made a good deal of fire dust, I emptied it
19:19
Speaker 1: into a handful of dry brown grass, intending to carry
19:22
Speaker 1: it home and keep it always in play with it,
19:25
Speaker 1: but the wind struck it, and it sprayed up and
19:28
Speaker 1: spat out at me fiercely, and I dropped it and ran.
19:31
Speaker 1: When I looked back, the blue spirit was towering up
19:34
Speaker 1: and stretching and rolling away like a cloud. And instantly
19:37
Speaker 1: I thought of the name of it, smoke, though upon
19:41
Speaker 1: my word, I had never heard of smoke before. Soon
19:44
Speaker 1: brilliant yellow and red flare shot up through the smoke,
19:47
Speaker 1: and I named them in an instant flames. And I
19:50
Speaker 1: was right too, though these were the very first flames
19:53
Speaker 1: that had ever been in the world. They climbed the trees,
19:57
Speaker 1: then flashed blendidly in and out of the fast and
20:00
Speaker 1: increasing volume of tumbling smoke, and I had to clap
20:03
Speaker 1: my hands and laugh and dance in my rapture. It
20:06
Speaker 1: was so new and strange and so wonderful and so beautiful.
20:11
Speaker 1: He came running and stopped and gazed and said not
20:14
Speaker 1: a word for many minutes. Then he asked what it was. Ah,
20:18
Speaker 1: it was too bad that he should ask such a
20:20
Speaker 1: direct question. I had to answer it, of course, and
20:23
Speaker 1: I did. I said it was fire. If it annoyed
20:27
Speaker 1: him that I should know, and he must ask that
20:29
Speaker 1: was not my fault. I had no desire to annoy him.
20:32
Speaker 1: After a long pause, he asked, how did it come?
20:36
Speaker 1: Another direct question, and it also had to have a
20:39
Speaker 1: direct answer. I made it. The fire was traveling further
20:43
Speaker 1: and further off. He went to the edge of the
20:45
Speaker 1: burned place and stood looking down and said, what are
20:48
Speaker 1: these fire coals? He picked up one to examine it,
20:52
Speaker 1: but changed his mind and put it down again. Then
20:55
Speaker 1: he went away. Nothing interests him, but I was interested.
21:00
Speaker 1: They were ashes, gray and soft and delicate and pretty.
21:04
Speaker 1: I knew what they were at once, and the embers.
21:07
Speaker 1: I knew the embers too. I found my apples and
21:09
Speaker 1: rake them out and was glad, for I am very
21:12
Speaker 1: young and my appetite is active. But I was disappointed.
21:16
Speaker 1: They were all burst open and spoiled. Spoiled apparently, but
21:20
Speaker 1: it was not so. They were better than wraw ones.
21:23
Speaker 1: Fire is beautiful. Some day it will be useful, I
21:26
Speaker 1: think Friday. I saw him again for a moment last Monday,
21:32
Speaker 1: at nightfall, but only a moment. I was hoping he
21:35
Speaker 1: would praise me for trying to improve the estate, for
21:38
Speaker 1: I had meant well and had worked hard. But he
21:41
Speaker 1: was not pleased, and turned away and left me. He
21:44
Speaker 1: was also displeased. On another account. I tried once more
21:47
Speaker 1: to persuade him to stop going over the falls. That
21:50
Speaker 1: was because the fire had revealed to me a new passion,
21:54
Speaker 1: quite new and distinctly different from love, grief, and those
21:58
Speaker 1: others which I had already discovered. Fear. And it is horrible.
22:03
Speaker 1: I wish I had never discovered it. It gave me
22:06
Speaker 1: dark moments, It spoils my happiness. It makes me shiver
22:10
Speaker 1: and tremble and shudder. But I could not persuade him,
22:13
Speaker 1: for he has not discovered fear yet, and so he
22:16
Speaker 1: could not understand me. And of Part two, Part three.
22:23
Speaker 2: Extract from Adam's diary. Perhaps I ought to remember that
22:28
Speaker 2: she was very young. A mere girl will make allowances.
22:32
Speaker 2: She is all interest, eagerness, vivacity, the will to her,
22:37
Speaker 2: a charm, a wonder, a mystery, a joy. She can't
22:40
Speaker 2: speak for delight. When she finds a new flower, she
22:43
Speaker 2: must pet it and caress it, and smell it, and
22:46
Speaker 2: talk to it, and pour out endearing names upon it.
22:50
Speaker 2: And she is color mad brown rocks, yellow sand, gray, moss,
22:55
Speaker 2: green foliage, blue sky, the pearl of the dawn, the
22:59
Speaker 2: purple shad on the mountains, the Golden islands floating in
23:03
Speaker 2: crimson seas at sunset, the pallid moons sailing through the
23:07
Speaker 2: shredded cloud wreck, the star jewels glittering in the wastes
23:10
Speaker 2: of space. None of them is if any practical value
23:14
Speaker 2: so far as I can see. But because they have
23:17
Speaker 2: color and majesty, that is enough for her, and she
23:20
Speaker 2: loses her mind over them. If she could quiet down
23:24
Speaker 2: and keep still a couple of minutes at a time,
23:26
Speaker 2: it will be a reposeful spectacle. In that case, I
23:30
Speaker 2: think I could enjoy looking at her. Indeed, I am
23:33
Speaker 2: sure I could, for I am coming to realize that
23:35
Speaker 2: she is quite a remarkably comely creature. Lithe, slender, trim, rounded, shapely, nimble, graceful.
23:44
Speaker 2: And once, when she was standing marble white and sun
23:47
Speaker 2: drenched on a boulder, with her young head tilted back
23:50
Speaker 2: and her hands shading her eyes, watching the flight of
23:53
Speaker 2: a bird in the sky, I recognized that she was
23:55
Speaker 2: beautiful Monday noon. If there is anything on the planet
24:02
Speaker 2: that she is not interested in, it is not in
24:05
Speaker 2: my list. There are animals that I am indifferent to,
24:09
Speaker 2: but it is not so with her. She has no discrimination.
24:13
Speaker 2: She takes to all of them. She thinks they are
24:15
Speaker 2: all treasures. Every new one is welcome. When the mighty
24:20
Speaker 2: Brontosaurus came striding into camp, she regarded it as an acquisition.
24:25
Speaker 2: I considered it a calamity. That is a good sample
24:28
Speaker 2: of the lack of harmony that provows in our views
24:30
Speaker 2: of things. She wanted to domesticate it. I wanted to
24:34
Speaker 2: make it a present of the homestead and move out.
24:38
Speaker 2: She believed it could be tamed by kind treatment and
24:41
Speaker 2: would be a good pet. I said, a pet twenty
24:44
Speaker 2: one feet high and eighty four feet long would be
24:47
Speaker 2: no proper thing to have about the place, because even
24:50
Speaker 2: with the best intentions and without meaning any harm, it
24:53
Speaker 2: could sit down on the house and mash it. For
24:56
Speaker 2: any one could see by the look of its eire
24:58
Speaker 2: that it was absent minded. Still, her heart was set
25:01
Speaker 2: upon having that monster, and she couldn't give it up.
25:04
Speaker 2: She thought we could start a dairy with it, and
25:07
Speaker 2: wanted me to help milk it, but I wouldn't. It
25:10
Speaker 2: was too risky, the sex wasn't right. We hadn't any
25:14
Speaker 2: ladder anyway. Then she wanted to ride it and look
25:17
Speaker 2: at the scenery. Thirty or forty feet of its towel
25:20
Speaker 2: was lying on the ground like a fallen tree, and
25:23
Speaker 2: she thought she could climb it. But she was mistaken.
25:26
Speaker 2: When she got to the steep place, it was too slick,
25:28
Speaker 2: and down she came and would have hurt herself. But
25:31
Speaker 2: for me, was she satisfied now? No, nothing ever satisfies
25:37
Speaker 2: her but demonstration. Untested theories are not in her line,
25:41
Speaker 2: and she won't have them. It's the right spirit, I
25:44
Speaker 2: concede it. It attracts me. I feel the influence of it.
25:48
Speaker 2: If I were with her more, I think I should
25:49
Speaker 2: take it up myself. Well, she had one theory remaining
25:53
Speaker 2: about this colossus. She thought that if we could tame
25:56
Speaker 2: it and make him friendly, we could stand in the
25:58
Speaker 2: river and use him. For it turned out that he
26:02
Speaker 2: was already plenty tame enough, at least as far as
26:05
Speaker 2: she was concerned. So she tried her theory, but it foiled.
26:09
Speaker 2: Every time she got him properly placed in the river
26:11
Speaker 2: and went ashore to cross over him, he came out
26:14
Speaker 2: and followed her around like a pet mountain like the
26:17
Speaker 2: other animals. They all do that.
26:21
Speaker 1: Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and today, all without seeing him. It
26:28
Speaker 1: is a long time to be alone. Still, it is
26:30
Speaker 1: better to be alone than unwelcome Friday. I had to
26:35
Speaker 1: have company. I was made for it, I think, so
26:38
Speaker 1: I made friends with the animals. They are just charming,
26:42
Speaker 1: and they have the kindest disposition and the politest ways.
26:46
Speaker 1: They never look sour, They never let you feel that
26:48
Speaker 1: you are intruding. They smile at you and wag their
26:52
Speaker 1: tail if they've got one, and they are always ready
26:55
Speaker 1: for a ramp or an excursion or anything you want
26:58
Speaker 1: to propose. I think they are perfect gentlemen. All these
27:02
Speaker 1: days we have had such good times, and it hasn't
27:05
Speaker 1: been lonesome for me. Ever. Lonesome, no, I should say, not.
27:11
Speaker 1: Why there's always a swarm of them around, sometimes as
27:15
Speaker 1: much as four or five acres. You can't count them.
27:18
Speaker 1: And when you stand on a rock in the midst
27:20
Speaker 1: and look out over the furry expanse, it is so
27:23
Speaker 1: mottled and splashed and gay with color and frisking sheen
27:27
Speaker 1: and sun flash, and so rippled with stripes that you
27:30
Speaker 1: might think it was a lake, only you know it isn't.
27:33
Speaker 1: And there's storms of sociable birds and hurricanes of whirring wings,
27:38
Speaker 1: and when the sun strikes all that feathery commotion, you
27:41
Speaker 1: have a blazing up of all the colors you can
27:44
Speaker 1: think of, enough to put your eyes out. We have
27:48
Speaker 1: made long excursions, and I have seen a great deal
27:51
Speaker 1: of the world, almost all of it, I think, and
27:54
Speaker 1: so I am the first traveler and the only one.
27:57
Speaker 1: When we are on the march, it is an imposing sun.
28:00
Speaker 1: There's nothing like it anywhere. For comfort, I ride a
28:03
Speaker 1: tiger or a leopard, because it is soft and has
28:06
Speaker 1: a round back that fits me, and because they are
28:09
Speaker 1: such pretty animals. But for long distance or for scenery,
28:13
Speaker 1: I ride the elephant. He hoists me up with his trunk,
28:16
Speaker 1: but I can get off myself. When we are ready
28:19
Speaker 1: to camp, he sits and I slide down the back way.
28:23
Speaker 1: The birds and animals are all friendly to each other,
28:26
Speaker 1: and there are no disputes about anything. They all talk,
28:29
Speaker 1: and they all talk to me. But it must be
28:31
Speaker 1: a foreign language, for I cannot make out a word
28:34
Speaker 1: they say. Yet they often understand me when I talk back,
28:38
Speaker 1: particularly the dog and the elephant. It makes me ashamed.
28:42
Speaker 1: It shows that they are brighter than I am, for
28:44
Speaker 1: I want to be the principal experiment myself, and I
28:48
Speaker 1: intend to be too. I have learned a number of
28:50
Speaker 1: things and am educated now, but I wasn't at first.
28:55
Speaker 1: I was ignorant at first. At first it used to
28:58
Speaker 1: vex me because with all my want I was never
29:01
Speaker 1: smart enough to be around when the water was running
29:03
Speaker 1: up hill. But now I do not mind. I have
29:07
Speaker 1: experimented and experimented until now I know it never does
29:11
Speaker 1: run up hill except in the dark. I know it
29:14
Speaker 1: does in the dark because the pool never goes dry,
29:17
Speaker 1: which it would, of course if the water didn't come
29:19
Speaker 1: back in the night. It is best to prove things
29:22
Speaker 1: by actual experiment, then you know, whereas if you depend
29:26
Speaker 1: on guessing and supposing and conjecturing, you never get educated.
29:31
Speaker 1: Some things you can't find out, but you will never
29:34
Speaker 1: know if you can't by guessing and supposing. No, you
29:38
Speaker 1: have to be patient and go on experimenting until you
29:41
Speaker 1: find out that you can't find out. And it is
29:44
Speaker 1: delightful to have it that way. It makes the world
29:47
Speaker 1: so interesting. If there wasn't anything to find out, it
29:50
Speaker 1: would be dull. Even trying to find out and not
29:53
Speaker 1: finding out is just as interesting as trying to find
29:56
Speaker 1: out and finding out and I don't know, but more so,
30:02
Speaker 1: the secret of the water was a treasure until I
30:04
Speaker 1: got it. Then the excitement all went away, and I
30:08
Speaker 1: recognized a sense of loss. By experiment, I know that
30:12
Speaker 1: wood swims, and dry leaves and feathers and plenty of
30:16
Speaker 1: other things. Therefore, by all that cumulative evidence, you know
30:20
Speaker 1: that a rock will swim. But you have to put
30:22
Speaker 1: up with simply knowing it, for there isn't any way
30:25
Speaker 1: to prove it up to now. But I shall find
30:28
Speaker 1: a way then that excitement will go. Such things make
30:32
Speaker 1: me sad, because by and by, when I have found
30:35
Speaker 1: out everything, there won't be any more excitements. And I
30:38
Speaker 1: do love excitement. So the other night I couldn't sleep
30:41
Speaker 1: for thinking about it. At first, I couldn't make out
30:45
Speaker 1: what I was made for, But now I think it
30:47
Speaker 1: was to search out the secrets of this wonderful world
30:50
Speaker 1: and be happy and thank the giver of it all
30:52
Speaker 1: for devising it. I think there are many things to learn,
30:56
Speaker 1: yet I hope so. And by economizing and not hurrying too,
31:00
Speaker 1: I think they will last weeks and weeks, I hope so.
31:04
Speaker 1: And when you cast up a feather, it sails away
31:06
Speaker 1: on the air and it goes out of sight. Then
31:08
Speaker 1: you throw up a clod and it doesn't. It comes
31:11
Speaker 1: down every time I have tried it and tried it,
31:14
Speaker 1: and it is always so. I wonder why it is.
31:17
Speaker 1: Of course it doesn't come down, but why should it
31:20
Speaker 1: seem to. I suppose it is an optical illusion. I mean,
31:25
Speaker 1: one of them is. I don't know which one. It
31:27
Speaker 1: may be the feather, it may be the clod. I
31:30
Speaker 1: can't prove which it is. I can only demonstrate that
31:33
Speaker 1: one or the other is a fake, and let a
31:36
Speaker 1: person take his choice. By watching. I know that the
31:40
Speaker 1: stars are not going to last. I have seen some
31:43
Speaker 1: of the best ones melt and run down the sky.
31:46
Speaker 1: Since one can melt, they can all melt. Since they
31:49
Speaker 1: can all melt, they can all melt. The same night
31:53
Speaker 1: that sorrow will come. I know it. I mean to
31:56
Speaker 1: set up every night and look at them as long
31:58
Speaker 1: as I can keep awake, and I will impress those
32:01
Speaker 1: sparkling fields on my memory, so that by and by,
32:05
Speaker 1: when they are taken away, I can buy my fancy,
32:07
Speaker 1: restore those lovely myriads to the black sky and make
32:10
Speaker 1: them sparkle again, and double them by the blur of
32:13
Speaker 1: my tears after the fall. When I look back, the
32:19
Speaker 1: garden is a dream to me. It was beautiful, surpassingly
32:22
Speaker 1: beautiful and chantingly beautiful. And now it is lost, and
32:26
Speaker 1: I shall not see it any more. The garden is lost,
32:30
Speaker 1: but I have found him and am content. He loves
32:34
Speaker 1: me as well as he can. I love him with
32:36
Speaker 1: all the strength of my passionate nature, and this I
32:39
Speaker 1: think is proper to my youth and sex. If I
32:42
Speaker 1: ask myself why I love him, I find I do
32:45
Speaker 1: not know, and do not really much care to know.
32:48
Speaker 1: So I suppose that this kind of love is not
32:51
Speaker 1: the product of reasoning and statistics, like one's love for
32:55
Speaker 1: other reptiles and animals. I think that this must be so.
32:59
Speaker 1: I love sir and birds because of their song, but
33:02
Speaker 1: I do not love Adam on account of his singing. No,
33:05
Speaker 1: it is not that the more he sings, the more
33:08
Speaker 1: I do not get reconciled to it. Yet I ask
33:11
Speaker 1: him to sing because I wish to learn to like
33:14
Speaker 1: everything he is interested in. I am sure I can learn,
33:18
Speaker 1: because at first I could not stand it, but now
33:20
Speaker 1: I can. It sours the milk, but it doesn't matter.
33:24
Speaker 1: I can get used to that kind of milk. It
33:27
Speaker 1: is not on account of his brightness that I love him. No,
33:31
Speaker 1: it is not that he is not to blame for
33:33
Speaker 1: his brightness, such as it is, for he did not
33:36
Speaker 1: make it himself. He is as God made him, and
33:39
Speaker 1: that is sufficient. There was a wise purpose in it
33:42
Speaker 1: that I know in time it will develop, though I
33:46
Speaker 1: think it will not be sudden. And besides, there is
33:49
Speaker 1: no hurry. He is well enough just as he is.
33:52
Speaker 1: It is not on account of his gracious and considerate
33:55
Speaker 1: ways and his delicacy that I love him. Now he
33:59
Speaker 1: has lax in this regard, but he is well enough
34:02
Speaker 1: just so, and is improving. It is not on account
34:07
Speaker 1: of his industry that I love him. No, it is
34:10
Speaker 1: not that I think he has it in him, And
34:13
Speaker 1: I do not know why he conceals it from me.
34:16
Speaker 1: It is my only pain. Otherwise he is frank and
34:19
Speaker 1: open with me. Now. I am sure he keeps nothing
34:22
Speaker 1: from me. But this it grees me that he should
34:24
Speaker 1: have a secret from me, And sometimes it spoils my
34:28
Speaker 1: sleep thinking of it. But I will put it out
34:30
Speaker 1: of my mind. It shall not trouble my happiness, which
34:33
Speaker 1: is otherwise full to overflowing. It is not on account
34:37
Speaker 1: of his education that I love him. No, it is
34:40
Speaker 1: not that he is self educated and does really know
34:43
Speaker 1: a multitude of things, but they are not. So it
34:47
Speaker 1: is not on account of his chivalry that I love him. No,
34:51
Speaker 1: it is not that he told on me, but I
34:54
Speaker 1: do not blame him. It is a peculiarity of sex,
34:57
Speaker 1: I think, and he did not make his sex. Of
35:00
Speaker 1: course I would have not told on him. I would
35:03
Speaker 1: have perished first. But that is a peculiarity of sex too,
35:08
Speaker 1: and I do not take credit for it, for I
35:10
Speaker 1: did not make my sex. Then why is it that
35:13
Speaker 1: I love him nearly because he is masculine? I think,
35:19
Speaker 1: at bottom he is good, and I love him for that,
35:22
Speaker 1: But I could love him without it. If he should
35:25
Speaker 1: beat me and abuse me, I should go on loving him.
35:28
Speaker 1: I know it. It is a matter of sex. I
35:30
Speaker 1: think he is strong and handsome, and I love him
35:34
Speaker 1: for that, and I admire him and am proud of him.
35:37
Speaker 1: But I could love him without those qualities. If he
35:40
Speaker 1: were plain, I should love him. If he were a wreck,
35:43
Speaker 1: I should love him, and I would work for him
35:46
Speaker 1: and slave over him, and pray for him, and watch
35:49
Speaker 1: by his bedside until I died. Yes, I think I
35:53
Speaker 1: love him merely because he is mine and is masculine.
35:56
Speaker 1: There is no other reason, I suppose, And so I
36:00
Speaker 1: think it is as I first said, that this kind
36:02
Speaker 1: of love is not a product of reasonings and statistics.
36:07
Speaker 1: It just comes. No one knows whence, and cannot explain
36:10
Speaker 1: itself and doesn't need to. It is what I think.
36:15
Speaker 1: But I am only a girl, the first that has
36:17
Speaker 1: examined this matter, and it may turn out that in
36:21
Speaker 1: my ignorance and inexperience, I have not got it right.
36:25
Speaker 1: Forty years later. It is my prayer. It is my
36:29
Speaker 1: longing that we may pass from this life together, a
36:32
Speaker 1: longing which shall never perish from the earth, but shall
36:35
Speaker 1: have place in the heart of every wife that loves
36:38
Speaker 1: until the end of time, and it shall be called
36:41
Speaker 1: by my name. But if one of us must go first,
36:45
Speaker 1: it is my prayer that it shall be I. For
36:47
Speaker 1: he is strong, I am weak. I am not so
36:50
Speaker 1: necessary to him as he is to me. Life without
36:53
Speaker 1: him would not be life. How could I endure it.
36:56
Speaker 1: This prayer is also immortal, and will not cease from
36:59
Speaker 1: being offered up while my race continues. I am the
37:03
Speaker 1: first wife, and in the last wife, I shall be repeated.
37:08
Speaker 2: At Eve's grave wheresoever she was. There was Eden
37:15
Speaker 1: And of Eve's Diary