Latest / The Perfect RIA / True North: Financial Advisors' Path to Value-Driven Success with Guest Dr. Andy Garrett [Episode 271]

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True North: Financial Advisors' Path to Value-Driven Success with Guest Dr. Andy Garrett [Episode 271] · The Perfect RIA

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Matthew Jarvis: Hello everyone and welcome to another episode
1:24
of The Perfect RIA podcast. I'm your co host, Matthew Jarvis,
1:28
with me today. Special guest, Dr Andy Garrett, who is wise, Andy,
1:32
I almost want to let you describe. I don't want to, like,
1:34
give your credentials wrong, but you're like, you're actually
1:36
like, a professional head doctor, right? That's probably
1:40
not a term you would use. But I do have to mention Andy and I
1:42
were introduced by a mutual friend, Aaron Walker, who's been
1:46
on this podcast several times. And we both before he record,
1:50
like, oh, big A. Like, he is the guy, but it's reminded to me of,
1:55
if you deliver massive value, like the whole world aligns
1:59
around you, like, that's your big A's thing. Like, everybody
2:00
goes those movers, massive value. So when he says, like,
2:03
Jarvis, you got to have Dr Andy on your podcast, there was not
2:05
even a second question. And it was same for you. You're like,
2:08
big A says it, we're doing it. So I love that. So anyway, tell
2:11
us about you, dude, yeah.
2:12
Dr Andy: First off, just love the comment on Big A. I love
2:15
what you said too, when you were first introduced to Big A, the
2:17
fact that you went by Big A, you're like, serious. But I
2:22
highly encourage people to go check out those episodes again,
2:24
because I know they're both so, yeah, I'm a licensed clinical
2:27
psychologist. Started off getting into private practice,
2:30
working mostly while primary clientele ended up being really
2:38
successful individuals, executive business owners who
2:41
had all the external markers of success, you know, had the
2:44
beautiful homes, had ratifications beyond things like
2:47
that. Internally, they were bankrupt. There was a sense of
2:50
it just being really unfulfilling. They'd attach
2:52
their identity, to their work, to their income, to power, not
2:56
necessarily even knowing or intentionally needing to do
2:58
that. But that's never going to lead to fulfillment. It creates
3:00
a really futile cycle of just chasing more and more and never
3:04
totally fulfilled. So I've helped these individuals for
3:08
years to re establish their identity and to find it, onto
3:11
their core values, to find it you know, they're authentic.
3:14
That leads to holistic success. So all of a sudden, now they
3:17
were actually performing better at work, right? They had a
3:20
greater sense of security, trusting themselves to make the
3:22
right decision, getting into flow state, but being able to
3:25
see that translate very kind of seamlessly. Then at home, seeing
3:29
instead of the compartmentalization where they
3:31
were crushing it at work, but often leaving trails of damage
3:34
in their personal relationships, now all of a sudden, they're
3:36
succeeding in all areas and experiencing tremendous
3:39
fulfillment. So just to bring it all home, I worked with Big A,
3:43
you know, several years ago, and he was asking me, any other
3:46
practice, how do you want to scale your impact, or what's,
3:49
how do you want to do it? So I realized I didn't want to grow a
3:52
massive practice where I had a bunch of coaches and therapists
3:54
working under me, so I built a course that just put me
3:57
structured, you know. Realized that I really, you know, see
4:00
myself as a psychological engineer, engineering, how to
4:03
solve big, psychological, complex problems. And the
4:07
biggest one I can think of to solve is identity, right? As
4:09
answering that question, I know Simon Sinek has that great book.
4:13
Start with, why, Simon? I think you're great, but you got to
4:15
start with who's got to be the starting place. And when you
4:19
figure that out, everything else comes so much more organically
4:23
and anchoring it to a clear understanding of who you are. So
4:26
we built a course, launched it in beta form on March 15 of
4:30
2020.
4:31
Matthew Jarvis: Okay, yeah, that time, yeah, the market fell by
4:35
30% for some reason.
4:36
Dr Andy: I remember. So we had like 25 people in that beta
4:40
group, though, had committed to go through it. A few people
4:42
understand it was seven. Seven people understandably said, Hey,
4:45
we're kind of spooked out by everything. So they backed out.
4:47
But 18 people went through it. 14 of them completed the
4:51
program. Those 14 individuals all thrived in the midst of one
4:55
of the most uncertain times in human history. And it was
4:57
because they were operating on this, this bedrock of, you know,
5:00
solid clarity of who they were, convictions of what mattered to
5:04
them. You know, many of them had to pivot completely in their
5:06
businesses. Their traditional way of doing work wasn't
5:09
available. And when your identity is really rigidly
5:12
attached to it, but this is who I am, it becomes very difficult
5:15
to pivot. And often you double and triple down on, you know,
5:17
kind of doing the same thing, but they were able to vary in a
5:21
resilient and agile manner, to find creative ways to deliver
5:24
their services and recorded record profits in that time. So
5:29
since then, it's really good about, how do we scale this? And
5:32
we've been able to have several 100, I think it's about 800
5:35
people now go through some version of these courses and
5:39
pairing it with this resilient strategy. That is the greatest
5:43
optimization work that I've ever done in my 15 plus years of
5:46
private practice.
5:47
Matthew Jarvis: It's quite a mouthful. Yeah, no, no, that's
5:49
that's pretty awesome. So I want to pull a thread in two
5:52
directions. So I want to pull on this thread of people who get to
5:55
the top of the mountain, whatever that means, like they
5:58
had some income level. And a lot of people, I know the industry
6:00
right, and the industry, right? And the dollar amount really
6:01
relevant, but they got to whatever dollar amount they
6:04
thought was the top of the mountain, and then they got to
6:06
the top of mountain and looked around and like this, there's
6:09
there's nothing here. And it's like a double you know this
6:12
better than I do, but it's like a double punch, because not only
6:15
is there nothing there, but you were convinced that when you got
6:18
there, everything would be there. So I would have had that
6:20
direction, but I went, I put a little seed in. Let's talk to
6:22
also about the people that are the bottom of the mountain, the
6:25
resiliency that it takes, because it's a tough climb,
6:28
like, you get to the top and you're like, Man, she's like,
6:30
grinding on things for however many years and hours and soul
6:33
crushing thing. And I hear there's nothing. Still, are
6:35
people in the grind as well. So let's pick either side of that.
6:38
Dr Andy, and let's, let's pull on this a little bit. I'll start
6:40
with the top of the mountain first. Yeah, yeah. And I agree,
6:43
you know, one of the aspects or components of what we go through
6:46
in developing those called True North. All right, I love the
6:49
term true north. Is a quick comment, yeah, as opposed to
6:52
magnetic north.
6:53
Dr Andy: I don't know if you know, there's a slight
6:55
difference, like magnetic north, a fixed geographical location
6:58
remains constant, stable and secure electro or magnetic
7:02
north, also reliable if you're if you're hiking or something,
7:05
but it's constantly shifting because it's reacting. Yeah,
7:09
yeah. That's why I believe most people live their life, is that
7:12
they're constantly reacting and shifting based off the
7:14
environment they're in. That's tiring, that leads to burnout,
7:18
right? That means that maybe your values, or some of those
7:21
things slightly shift, and that undermines trust, undermines
7:24
resilience. I'm not saying you have to have complete certainty
7:27
in everything, right? That's that's not possible, but at
7:30
least you should have a handful of things to say. These are made
7:32
constant and stable for me. These are things that I can rely
7:35
on, that I can make great decisions, because the other
7:37
foundation of you know what's most important to me. And when
7:41
you're standing in uncertainty, right? We're very uncertain five
7:44
so a lot of chaos, you know, various things that are going on
7:47
in the world. Ability to know how to define your purpose,
7:51
right? To have those core values that generally remain pretty
7:54
stable over a period of time is one of the best antidotes.
7:57
Matthew Jarvis: That's so that true north. And I know we're
8:00
just doing this, just doing this, just narrow snippet of it.
8:02
You obviously got an entire program. This is, this is your
8:04
life's work here. How do you help people not let their I want
8:07
to use mood, for lack of a better term, and maybe I'm the
8:09
only one that takes us. But like, so we've established this
8:11
true north, and then we have a bad day or a bad week or a bad
8:14
month or or whatever. Like, you know what it really that's not
8:18
really my true north. You know? What I should do is I should
8:19
earn my practice the ground. Maybe I should divorce my wife.
8:23
Like, maybe I should take up cocaine, like, whatever, like,
8:26
driven like, our minds go, like, to these extremes. So how do you
8:30
help people stay anchored on this true north when it doesn't
8:32
feel like true north at times? Yeah, that's really the the
8:36
resilience piece. After we did the true divorce, we saw people
8:39
were really dialed in, right? They were having breakthroughs
8:42
in their marriages and their work and their kids do all kinds
8:44
of things that doesn't stop life from happening, right?
8:47
Dr Andy: And there is no pathway to great success. We're going to
8:50
involve significant obstacles, hurdles, failure, setbacks,
8:54
pain. So once you accept that, you know really it's what are
8:57
you going to do about it? I agree that emotional reaction is
9:00
what often gets us in our biggest trouble. One of the
9:02
greatest personal development quotes comes from Victor
9:05
Frankel, and his answer to me to what happens to us in our
9:10
response, there's a space, and in that space is where our
9:12
capacity for growth and freedom exists. Most of the times we
9:16
give that space away, right? We get upset or feeling shame or
9:20
experiencing posture syndrome, and we react out of that, and
9:23
then we rigidly decide to double and triple up on that rigid
9:27
response. And that can get us it's got me in plenty of trouble
9:30
over the years. But if you have some resilient strategies in
9:34
place and have the ability to recognize, oh, I'm feeling
9:37
really angry or disappointed, or whatever it is right that
9:40
emotion and everybody specific emotions that usually you know,
9:44
are triggers for really bad decision making. So once you're
9:48
able to recognize that, we give the tools on how to neutralize
9:51
the emotion, how to really be able to step into that so even
9:56
give your slower acting brain, your prefrontal cortex, time to
9:59
kick in, and that's where you can access your problem solving,
10:03
your values. We can really strategically, creatively, find
10:07
ways to pivot out of the pain or the shame or whatever is you're
10:10
feeling into a growth response. And now all of a sudden, you
10:13
turn, you know, a negative, into an opportunity for radical
10:17
growth and purpose.
10:18
Matthew Jarvis: But it's so interesting, so many things come
10:19
to mind on that. But is it different? Halfway up the
10:23
proverbial not like, like, using the same knowledge, it almost
10:25
seems like it's the same other than the emotions might be a
10:27
little bit different, like rejection and failure and
10:29
imposter, cetera, but it's kind of, I suppose. Is it very
10:32
similar? It seems like it's the same thing, just just different,
10:34
different manifestations.
10:35
Dr Andy: That's certainly been my experience. You're working
10:37
with. As you said, all you know, I think the emotions, the
10:42
struggles, are the same. Some of the most successful individuals
10:45
that we've seen, you know, they really just said they figured
10:48
out on some level. They call it their true north. This is who I
10:53
am, and these are the goals I have, and they're pursuing that,
10:55
if you accept again, that you're going to experience pain and
10:58
setbacks on that. You know, it's just, how can I be consistent
11:02
with staying true to my true north? How can I quickly be able
11:05
to rebound 50 moments back to true north and and really, like,
11:10
I know that doesn't sound very sexy, but rinse and repeat,
11:13
right? And that consistency can lead to all kinds of really
11:16
exciting breakthroughs.
11:18
Matthew Jarvis: And filament success is something that comes
11:20
to mind as I sort of reflect on my my personal journeys up down
11:23
the mountain was, and I ever called it true north. But now
11:25
that I think back on it, it's really similar for me. A lot of
11:27
times it was having someone that, at least in some area of
11:30
my life, was, was the true north right early on, it was a fellow
11:33
named Tom gow, phenomenal financial planner. And I just on
11:36
bad days, I would just like, all right, what would Tom do right
11:38
here? All right, well, Tom would do X, I'm gonna do that. I mean,
11:41
you and I both started this episode singing praises to big A
11:44
Yes, I know for me, he fills that role. Listen big as my true
11:48
door. So when I have that emotional response like you
11:50
said, I'm like, Yeah, let's burn this thing down, or that's
11:51
whatever I call him up, like, dude, what? What do I do here?
11:55
Now, I guess this doesn't mean to hear anybody else is is
11:58
imperfect. We have to be careful there, like he's gonna throw the
12:00
mistakes, he's gonna do things. But I've got to have, I guess,
12:03
to your point now that I think about always, it was the true
12:06
north that pulled me through whatever emotions was going on.
12:09
I love that you say that. You know, really the foundation of
12:12
this program, when I built it off, was the example my grandpa
12:15
set for me. So my grandpa was the successful business. Name's
12:18
Carl Karcher. He started Carlos Jr, the fast food restaurant?
12:21
Dr Andy: No way, really, yeah. So very successful, right, with
12:25
his business, but his greatest success was his relationship.
12:29
Was who he was as a person. And so, you know, the last 10 years
12:32
of his life, he now we're best friends. And I got a chance to
12:35
spend 1000s of, you know, both the work environment, yeah,
12:39
public spaces and private and good time with family, and I got
12:42
a chance to see the example and get an eighth grade education.
12:45
So when I talk about things like a truly motivation and autonomy,
12:48
it wasn't necessarily terms of using but it's what he modeled.
12:52
And I saw how consistent he was, whether it was at the height of
12:55
success or when he nearly lost everything, right? He remained
12:58
radically consistent. He continued to show up. He talked
13:01
about his values all the time. And you can see the way that he
13:04
lived his life. He was, you know, really spent the max
13:06
amount of time again, not perfect. He had his flaws, of
13:10
course, but I really reverse engineered. I said, Hey, what
13:13
was it that he did that made him so successful? You know, part of
13:17
it was my own struggle, too. I'm trying to, really, you know,
13:20
figure out who I am, start, stop living always for validation or
13:24
affirmation. And when I was able to really look at what he did, I
13:27
said, so I'm packing this and then putting this together in a
13:29
psychological program. These are the things he modeled and seen.
13:34
Now, consistent again, we're not creating a bunch of Carl
13:36
Carter's or big as but we're helping people to find their
13:39
version of that.
13:40
Matthew Jarvis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's interesting as
13:43
you talk to that, and I would imagine it's the same for your
13:45
grandfather, that some of these are really big, like, deep
13:48
moral, moral items, but others are really small, right? Like,
13:53
yeah, when I'm working with listen, you know your fee is now
13:56
x, like, we're no longer it doesn't matter what I when a
13:59
prospective client comes in is that what I feel the fee is, the
14:03
fee is x, or in my works, and that's it. I don't work till
14:08
501. I don't work on Saturdays. Like, those are just non
14:11
negotiables, really peeling back layers here. Dr, this is like,
14:14
this is your job or something. Dude, never struggled. I didn't,
14:18
I didn't ever think like, oh man, am I charging? It's just
14:20
like, Oh, my fee is x, and that is the things where I didn't
14:23
have one, where it's like, I don't know what I'm going to do
14:25
here. So that's so interesting, dude.
14:27
Dr Andy: Yeah. I mean, really, that kind of gets a guiding
14:30
principles, right. And when we talk about issues like
14:33
authenticity, autonomy, all these things that we know are
14:35
great predictors of success, better leadership, really, these
14:39
things come down to, they're kind of moral values based
14:42
concepts. You know, they have a lot to do with our character. So
14:46
when we get really clear on that, it's again, it's amazing.
14:49
And then we just remain consistent, staying with our
14:51
guiding principles, it's amazing how much easier we have to make
14:55
a lot less decision. Plug the examples that you're setting
14:57
there. Some of the work we help people do. However you get
15:00
started to define those things will make a world of difference?
15:02
Matthew Jarvis: Yeah, I would love your thoughts. Dr, and I
15:04
think we have to underestimate how much energy goes to making
15:08
these decisions again and again and again, versus just that's
15:11
just how it is, right, whether it's with, you know, kids, I
15:14
know you do things with youth as well. We'll talk about that in a
15:16
minute. But I guess the things that I have where I can use are
15:19
just non negotiables, like, we just don't ever even discuss
15:22
this. But because the things I have to think about, well, that
15:24
really drains, like that takes a lot of emotional energy away. If
15:26
I'm thinking about right, my 18 year old, like, how are we going
15:29
to handle a car situation? Well, if I have to think about that
15:32
every single day, boy, that that's drains a lot of our
15:34
relationship. I just like, hey guys, good cars. You drive up.
15:36
People gas. Easy as that, is that the right answer? I don't
15:40
know, but that's our answer, right? Yes. I don't have to
15:43
think about it. Well, I've been nuts.
15:45
Unknown: Part of the resilience strategy in here is not to
15:47
always rely on resilience, right? Like we shouldn't always
15:49
have to use willpower or have to make unnecessary decisions. How
15:54
do we set up systems that's almost like preventative
15:56
resilience, right? When you create a clear so we have a
15:59
decision making tool that just helps. You know, a lot of the
16:02
people we work with are perfectionistic, so they always
16:05
want to make the very best decision in the process. Not
16:08
only do they make very inefficient decisions, but they
16:10
stress themselves out. They work towards overwhelm and burnout.
16:14
So you got a criteria with your core values, at least, to run
16:18
through decisions occasionally I'll have someone say, Well,
16:20
what if my decisions rarely involve my core values? Use of
16:23
my responses. If you're making a bunch of decisions that have
16:25
nothing to do with your core values, you're making a lot of
16:28
the wrong decisions. You probably need to refocus some of
16:31
where your attention to focus is going on. But it's amazing, when
16:34
you make decisions that consistently align with your
16:37
core values, you will become a great, powerful decision maker,
16:41
the conviction that you're demonstrating to others is going
16:44
to be felt right? They're going to get behind you. Your
16:46
leadership qualities and skills will go up.
16:47
Matthew Jarvis: It's really powerful. Boy, I was thinking
16:49
that same thing as you were saying it. And of course, for
16:52
financial advisors, right? When you're advising clients, and a
16:55
lot of that's where we're thinking about the future, what
16:56
are the markets going to do? What are interest grants going
16:58
to do? All of which is totally unknowable. But if I go into a
17:01
client meeting with this huge amount of us, amount of
17:03
uncertainty, it kills it. But if I just go in and say, like,
17:05
here's our approach, this is what we're doing. I mean, I
17:07
think about effect to Big A, I want this to be like a parade
17:10
for him. But the very first phone call I was on with him, my
17:13
buddy Mike and I, who I host this podcast with, we're talking
17:15
to Big A. We're talking about five minutes. He says,
17:17
gentlemen, if your wife were to call me right now, would you
17:20
hang up this call and answer your wife's call? And we said
17:24
no, because we're on this call with you. Man, like, Listen, if
17:27
my wife called me, I would hang up on you guys and I would
17:30
answer her call. And we're like, Come on, give me a break. He's
17:33
like, I just let you know my wife is more important to me
17:36
than you are, and I'm embarrassed for you that you
17:39
that I'm more important to you than your wife is. And for us,
17:41
those are, like, fighting or Micah, the conviction. Like we
17:45
got off the call, we were both like, this, up, man, right? Who
17:47
is this guy? And then it was like, wow, that level of
17:50
conviction, like we could argue the right or wrong move, like we
17:53
could have a whole debate on that totally but the conviction
17:54
was like, this is never think about it, and this is one of the
17:58
ways that evidence is That's why I called it back. I don't want
18:02
to call your number. I've paid 10s of 1000s of dollars in
18:05
coaching, and it can all be traced back to get that much
18:08
conviction. I gotta talk to this kind of more.
18:11
Dr Andy: Yeah, there's an interesting study that started
18:14
around the law of attraction, right? A lot of people misapply
18:17
the law of attraction. Was they're kind of productive,
18:19
right? They say things that they want to be true. They don't
18:22
believe adult work, or they were able to measure the frequency,
18:30
the energy wave. There's tools that can do that. For sure. You
18:34
can fill some energy right so. And then, because they had
18:38
access to them, they were able to ask, what was it? What are
18:41
you feeling? And so they could match the psychological state to
18:44
the frequency that people gave up. And they found in this study
18:47
that there was a particular psychological state that is by
18:50
far the most powerful psychological state that we can
18:52
exist in, 4000 times stronger than love, which was the second
18:56
strongest one. And it was the state of authenticity, right
18:59
when we're operating, and effectively, the way described
19:01
it is when we are saying things and demonstrating things no to
19:04
be true, and it's fueled by belief and conviction. That's
19:07
why, when you say, I'm a millionaire, but you look at
19:09
your bank account, you're broke, right? That doesn't have any
19:12
power. I had a client who kept saying, I love obstacles. He
19:15
hates obstacles, switching to I am well equipped and resourced
19:21
to overcome the obstacles in my life. You can feel the
19:23
conviction in his voice when he says that he's crushing all
19:26
these obstacles now, right? Because he's saying things that
19:29
you know to be true.
19:30
Matthew Jarvis: So one of the most powerful resilience tools
19:32
that you can have is operating an authenticity and conviction
19:35
what it's what we do entire episodes on this I loved your
19:38
distinction. I want to make sure it's not missed by our
19:41
listeners, because, you know, I'm a big fan of of mantras, and
19:45
I'm a big fan but, but you're right if you don't believe it,
19:48
and the same is true if you're talking to clients right? Like
19:51
we talk all the time, like, if you're recommending to a client
19:53
something you're not doing yourself, we have a big problem.
19:55
So if you're telling your client, like, yes, hey, listen,
19:56
if you have kids, you have to own life insurance. I'm just
19:58
picking a random example, but you yourself, people know that
20:01
they know what you're lying. Yeah, it's amazing, even if it's
20:04
just, like an implied lie. Like, I'm just like, Hey, Dr Andy, you
20:06
really got to have life insurance because your kids, but
20:08
I don't have any for my kids. Like, somehow, you know that,
20:11
right? Like, something's wrong with this guy, something's off.
20:13
Dr Andy: Yeah, 100% experience that sometimes we've done, you
20:18
know, price, you know, increases. I don't believe that
20:22
I'm worth you know what it is that we're saying it's 100% felt
20:25
by the client, but if I know what the price is I'm saying, I
20:28
know that what I'm delivering is worth this value and more. It's
20:32
amazing. I get almost no pushback. There's times people
20:34
can't afford it, of course, but, but it's crazy how it's felt.
20:38
And yeah, it's that affirmations and even vision boards. I'm a
20:41
fan of blue house. Yeah, we take a different take, right? Like,
20:44
if you, if you do affirmations again, that you don't believe I
20:47
am beautiful, but you don't feel that way, it'll actually make
20:49
you feel worse. It will undermine self worth, right? And
20:52
creating affirmations and vision boards around your core values
20:56
and around guiding principles, some of those power. It is crazy
20:59
how powerful that is in guiding you to, you know, greater
21:03
success, and just just really having a massive impact on on
21:07
you.
21:07
Matthew Jarvis: Well, let's, let's pull that thread just a
21:08
little bit more. Because I think I definitely spent a lot of my
21:10
career where I was doing that incorrectly, when I sort of
21:12
figured it out, or someone showed me the way, it made a big
21:15
difference, right? So, like, if I, if my affirmation was, hey,
21:18
I'm the best financial advisor that's ever lived, that's ever
21:20
lived that's clearly not true. Like, that's objectively not
21:22
true. I know in my heart it's not true, like, I don't even
21:24
know how we would get to that point, right? Yeah, but when I
21:26
changed that to say, like, I'm getting better and better every
21:29
day, and then I made sure, I was like, I'm always reading, I'm
21:31
always like, it's like, I put that out there, but I also made
21:34
it true, like, I'm never gonna say anything that I can't
21:36
control, right? Somebody say I'm getting better and better every
21:38
day, okay? I better make sure. I'm time blocked out every
21:40
morning to read. So I am, in fact, getting better and better,
21:43
but tell us, give us some more examples of that. Dr Hague,
21:46
where people write some specifics we can use?
21:48
Unknown: Yeah, of the love of your example that's, you nailed
21:51
it often, putting them in action statements right? I value
21:54
family, and every day, I strive to make my family, you know,
21:57
feel important and loving them. You know, seeing things that
22:00
when you say it, usually you feel it right. It makes you feel
22:03
stronger. It strengthens your conviction. Good point. And so,
22:06
you know, just sometimes we have a kind of exercise, a worksheet,
22:10
that we help guide people through guiding principles, but
22:13
also in their affirmations. And so, but, but I love guiding
22:16
principles. I often have people do them in the form of
22:18
questions. You know, is true with a rotary club.
22:22
Matthew Jarvis: Oh, sure, the four way test, yeah.
22:24
Unknown: Yeah. Like, that's a great example, right? That you
22:26
can very quickly recite and will help you to consistently operate
22:29
at a high level, consistent with the values and principles of
22:32
Rotary Club. But how do you set that up for your business? But
22:36
ideally, if you've got a bunch of people working for you, you
22:38
know, and they're in high stress, high pressure
22:40
environments, giving them a handful, but it can't be too
22:43
many, because then it becomes really impractical and
22:46
accessible. But if you've got just four or five questions they
22:49
can ask that will enable them to consistently make great
22:52
decisions operate with, you know, high level of ethical
22:56
integrity. You're going to have people performing self
22:59
actualized state. They're going to be performing, you know, up
23:02
near the highest of their potential.
23:04
Matthew Jarvis: So, yeah, I love that you highlight it as a
23:06
question, right? Because I think all the time we see like, core
23:08
values of companies, and they're so cliched, right? Like
23:11
integrity and hard work. A buddy of mine, Dustin frost, who's
23:15
been on this podcast, his core values for his company are all
23:17
in the form of questions, like, are we always the solution? Are
23:23
we the solution to this problem? Are we being easy to work with?
23:25
That's one of his core values, again, always as a question. So
23:28
all of his situations, all of his performances, everything,
23:32
are questions that he's asking related to the core value. Was
23:36
this the customer first? Oh, you're right. It wasn't, okay,
23:39
cool. Like, how do we put the customer first situation. I love
23:42
that I never thought about, if a sensitive business environment,
23:44
I didn't think about it personally. I love that insight
23:47
there.
23:47
Unknown: Yeah, the actions really should be turned into
23:50
something that, again, is easily accessed, and that becomes very
23:54
practical. You know, I think there's one of the things we
23:56
focus on is, how do we get tools that people can, you know, go
23:59
through and exercise and immediately apply it and get
24:02
your real time results from it. And in a core values is one of
24:05
those things that, especially when you take the time, not just
24:08
to come up with cliche words, yeah, but you can explain this
24:11
is what it means to me. This is why it's important, and this is
24:14
how I apply it, or live it off the daily basis. You can just
24:17
from an identity standpoint, whether it's the identity of
24:19
your corporation or if it's the identity of you as a leader or
24:22
an admin. individual, you know, of a really secure mature
24:25
foundation for what it is that you believe, for what you do.
24:29
We've seen a lot of times when people come to our program. I'm
24:31
going to figure out my true north. Right. I'm not going to
24:33
take crap from anybody that's coming from a place of
24:38
reactionary placement security. place of insecurity. It's
24:42
amazing when people do the work and suddenly feel really secure
24:45
within themselves and comfortable in their own skin
24:47
and trust themselves, right? Trusting yourself is the basis
24:50
for getting into flow state on a consistent basis. But that
24:53
ability to feel, you know, secure within yourself, it's,
24:56
it's amazing how much more tolerant, loving, accepting,
25:00
right? When people question, why do you do that, or start to
25:02
challenge you on things you're not threatened by it, because
25:05
you're really secure what what it is you believe in and why you
25:07
do what you do. And so from a leadership standpoint, it's such
25:11
an important game to go through insecure leaders. And I'm not
25:14
saying this is someone that's perfectly secure, right? Most of
25:16
my bad decisions come out of insecurity, but those of the
25:20
insecure leaders, managers do so much damage in the workplace.
25:23
Matthew Jarvis: Yeah, I was actually, as you're walking
25:25
through that was thinking through it from the lens of in
25:27
your home, which we you, and you touched on just a little bit at
25:29
the beginning of the episode. And we don't have time to go
25:31
super deep in it, but I want to think about my own deal with my
25:33
teenagers, or working with my wife. They go, okay, when I'm
25:35
acting from the spot of insecurity, which I've never
25:37
used that word touch now, that's when I sort of like, had this
25:40
tendency to lash out, like, you know, what? Everyone needs 7000
25:43
chores today, right? Or, or no one can ever drive the car.
25:46
You're like, whatever it is. But as I think of those, like, when
25:48
I'm tempted to lash out, he said, do harm, whether that's,
25:51
you know, however we describe that, that's usually where it's
25:54
rooted. So, so if you catch yourself, Dr Eddie, in that spot
25:56
of insecurity, whether that's in your home life or your
25:58
professional life. Like, if you happen to know, I guess, how do
26:01
you notice that? And then when you notice it, like, what do you
26:04
do in that situation?
26:04
Amber Kuhn: Yeah, I had a situation with my wife driving
26:08
out to 45 minute car drive, and five minutes into the car drive,
26:13
my wife said something that hurt my feelings. I felt attacked.
26:16
I'm a sensitive guy. I can appreciate it on that. And my
26:19
initial response was, this was, like, just lost, like, this is,
26:24
of course, what she's gonna get. I'm now gonna shut down. I'm
26:26
gonna emotionally punish her. Seems fair, yeah? Fortunately,nI
26:31
was able to, you know, I was, like, wrestling with myself, and
26:34
I've done this before where I know I'm not making the right
26:36
decision, and yet I find myself just falling down, yeah, but
26:41
this time, you know, because I've written out my identity
26:43
statement as a husband, right, as a business owner, like I knew
26:47
very clearly that this is not in alignment with what you've
26:50
written. This is not alignment with your convictions, not how
26:52
you want to treat your wife. So I was able to ask some of the
26:56
guidance sure and realizing if I follow through with this, I kind
27:02
of played this out quickly in my mind, if I stick with the next
27:09
45 minutes is wildly uncomfortable. We're gonna get
27:11
to this event. I'm gonna put a fake smile, but I'm gonna go and
27:14
do my social thing, but inside I'm gonna feel like, Hey, we're
27:17
gonna get back in the car, and there's a good chance it kicks
27:19
right up, right? I've just now created a whole bunch of damage
27:22
I need to undo, or I can pick right, and I can choose to go
27:26
down a different path, because this one, I put my hand out for
27:29
my wife to hold, hold her hand. Yeah, she went to go grab it,
27:32
and I pulled it out, like that. Psych real quick. Fortunately,
27:35
she looked at me like, are you serious? It broke the system. We
27:42
had a short conversation, was all did, had a beautiful drive
27:45
out there, right? Had a great social event, and ended up being
27:50
a big deposit into our overall relationship, kind of bank
27:53
account. And the same thing happens around the hospital
27:55
time, and we're forced from a decision, and often, if you can
28:01
catch yourself when you're when you recognize some of the
28:04
emotions that trigger beliefs or the trigger emotions, being able
28:08
to pause long enough to recognize where there's
28:11
opportunity again, going to that phone call, quote, using that
28:15
space to increase or maximize your capacity for Growth and
28:18
Freedom.
28:19
Matthew Jarvis: Fascinating. I love that, that framework, like,
28:21
am I? Am I acting contrary or attempted to act contrary to my
28:24
core value, to my true daughter? So, so in your, in your example
28:27
here, which we all run into, hey, I, you know, I want to,
28:29
like, not obviously physically harm, but like, I want, like,
28:32
emotionally harming her. Like, I'm not gonna make my life, my
28:34
wife's life, better. Like, all right, well, that's not my core
28:37
value. Like, my core value is to make her life wonderful and
28:39
treat her like a queen. Okay, I'm tempted to not act that way.
28:43
Something's wrong here, which I guess back to your business
28:45
example, like, hey, I want to uplift all my employees. All
28:47
right, well, if I'm getting ready to push somebody down, all
28:49
right, somehow I'm not in alignment. I think we go for
28:52
hours on this thing. I want to make sure, though, Dr Andy, we
28:54
take just a minute to give action items to our listeners.
28:56
Like we talked about some amazing action items. But what
29:00
are a couple of that our listeners could be doing as a
29:01
Dr Andy: I would say that the first place to start off right
29:03
result of this podcast?
29:04
like we have the three what I believe the most important high
29:07
level skills necessary to maximize success right now over
29:11
the next 10 years. I mean, really, they're timeless.
29:13
Mistake. We can exist in right convictions that finding what
29:17
that is, you know, developing resilient strategies. Some of
29:18
Matthew Jarvis: That makes a lot of sense. I would give one other
29:20
that's Thank you. You mentioned that, focusing on what you can
29:23
control, having mindfulness techniques, having a great
29:26
support system in place, and then having the ability to be
29:29
resilient in an agile manner. Now, drilling that into an
29:32
actionable item, I think the most powerful place to start is,
29:36
we've been talking a lot about core values, but string there
29:39
is, is, you know, there's, there's good assessments out
29:42
there. Sure, my favorite, you can find a lot of these online.
29:45
I'm happy if anybody wants to reach out to me to share our
29:49
tool on this. It's one where you just, it has about 100 values
29:52
based words. It asks you to go through, and, you know, to
29:55
identify your top five, top five, you know, sometimes it
29:58
takes a little while to kind of cross out figure and a lot of
30:01
the works out great, you know. So you got a little and you
30:05
start to categorize, well, this is really a subset of this, but
30:08
then going again a level deeper to say this is what that value
30:11
needs me. This is why it's important, and this is how I
30:14
wanted to show up in my work or in my family or these areas,
30:18
that that alone is transformational. So my favorite
30:20
conversation to have my client is having them explain after
30:24
they've done that work, it is, it is so eye opening for them to
30:27
recognize most of their pain points, the things they're
30:30
struggling with just because they're doing things completely
30:33
out of alignment with their values. And so that a lot is
30:36
this incredibly powerful work. We know there's tons of research
30:40
that when you feel connected what matters most, you start to
30:43
develop an inner belief of self efficacy, right? You believe
30:46
that you can just overcome hard beings. So that creates its own
30:50
form of resilience just doing that. You know, I think there's
30:53
a lot more you can add to it, layer on top of that, but even
30:56
replacing old dysfunctional beliefs or old patterns, the
30:59
ability to anchor habits, decisions to your values, it's
31:02
the most powerful lever in what these are the things that have
31:06
the most emotional significance and conviction behind them. So
31:09
if you know, a lot of times people get to have it so they go
31:12
straight to certain goals without ever even questioning,
31:16
does this have anything to do with my values. It's like
31:19
throwing paint on the wall and just connecting it to a cloud.
31:22
Value is like putting primer down before. It's amazing how
31:25
much more likely that not only it sticks, but you get exactly
31:28
the result that you're helping out of it interesting.
31:32
action item that I'd love to hear, how people can learn more
31:35
about you. I know we talked a little bit about affirmation,
31:37
really just a huge fan of this. But again, doctor, use your
31:41
framework. There has to be true to that. I've used, like, my
31:44
entire career, well, not my entire career, which I used it
31:46
more of my career, but I've used for the last decade is that
31:49
first one, like, I'm getting better and better every day,
31:51
which that's what I go to anytime I beat myself from a
31:53
second cheese I can't live. You know what? Good news, good news,
31:57
I'm getting better and better every day, and I would make sure
31:59
that's true. The other one I use, I guess I'm curious your
32:01
thoughts. I always use this. If it were easy, everybody would do
32:05
it and nobody get paid. And so when I get it right, right into
32:08
hard things, in my practice, easy, everybody would do it and
32:11
nobody would get paid. Like, hey, I'm back to your authentic
32:13
like, this is really hard. It's really hard, but the reward is
32:17
incredible, if I can scribe it out. And great news,
32:18
Yeah, the best place to go is to my website, ag-thrive.com. Yeah,
32:19
I'm getting better every day. On Flint seven, step closer to it.
32:22
So, Doctor, I love this stuff. How can people learn more about
32:25
your work? You've got a positive your true program. We can track
32:28
that down.
32:37
on there. We've got a resilience challenge. It says it's a seven
32:39
day challenge. I really need to replace that. It's got like,
32:41
nine days in there. And people sometimes say, if I don't finish
32:44
it in seven days, like, do I lose access? No, I just like
32:48
number seven. But that's you just go through that alone.
32:53
You've got a comprehensive strategy. It includes our core
32:55
values assessment. You know, we've got our corporate offer.
32:58
We're seeing the companies that are going through these
33:00
trainings are having, you know, incredible increase in revenue,
33:04
but seeing way less turnover and loss, you know,
33:07
underperformance, absenteeism, things like that. So we do have
33:10
a program for teens, just to mention, real quick, yeah,
33:13
please. Because really, that's the age right from teens in
33:15
early adulthood, where you're really starting to question, you
33:18
know, whatever identity you had as a child, and you took on from
33:20
your environment, and you're starting to kind of establish
33:24
your independence. And so we have some coaches that are
33:26
really kind of leading that, using our framework and material
33:30
to go into schools and working and having incredible,
33:33
incredible impact. They have a couple colleges that are
33:35
actually reaching out because they're seeing attrition rates,
33:38
right? I mean, so many kids are going on medical, you know,
33:40
dropping out and so again, when hurts their bottom line,
33:43
suddenly they'll reach out and prioritize stuff like this.
33:46
Really, it's not a clinical program. It really is an
33:49
optimization program, right? It's like, it's really meant for
33:52
people that are heading towards burnout. Like this will help to
33:55
light fire under you, sure that you also don't get to burn out,
33:59
that you start to get back to doing teaching you best and
34:01
enjoying the heck out of it? I love it. I love it. Well. Dr
34:03
Andy, hey, thank you so much for your time today.
34:05
Very insightful information. Look forward to having you on
34:08
the show again and for all of our listeners. Until next time.
34:10
Happy planning.
34:10
Amber Kuhn: TPR nation, it's a competitive market out there. So
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