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Transcript

The Holy Grail of Tangents: From Monty Python to Rodeos and Bitless Riding · Shut Up and Ride

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Simon, have you heard of British Eventing's new initiative Be Prepared?
• 0:04
  Speaker B: Yes, Jenny, I have. It's a free program from British Eventing designed to help riders learn, connect and grow in the sport.
• 0:11
  Speaker A: So whether you're a member or not, Be Prepared supports grassroots riders with the knowledge, skills and confidence to enjoy eventing at every stage. As a former competitor myself, I know how valuable good preparation can be.
• 0:26
  Speaker B: Through the free learning hub, you can access bite sized videos, expert advice and practical checklists when, whenever it suits you.
• 0:33
  Speaker A: Plus there will be some in person camps bringing learning to life with coaching workshops and Q and A sessions from industry professionals.
• 0:42
  Speaker B: From preparation and planning to mindset, fitness and competition, know how it's all about practical learning that works.
• 0:49
  Speaker A: Because as we know, Simon, being prepared and preparation really does build confidence and
• 0:54
  Speaker B: confident riders make better decisions.
• 0:56
  Speaker A: So get Be Prepared today with British Eventing and head over to their website britisheventing.com. Welcome to the Shut up and Ride podcast. As I say welcome. Ben is chugging on a beer, if you want to see him chugging on a beer. And he is looking devilishly handsome today. I have to say, do check us out. We are on.
• 1:26
  Speaker B: He's looking handsome, but he's also looking very cheeky.
• 1:28
  Speaker A: He is. We're in trouble today, I think. Welcome, welcome, welcome. We are of course sponsored, held together with baling twine by the wonderful Charles Owen. And they don't just do hats, people, they do body protectors. They do all sorts of stuff. So do please go and check them out. I know a lot of you do and we get lots of messages saying how much you love them as much as us. But please, please, please go and protect yourselves, your heads, your noggins and your bats. With the wonderful Charles Owen. The boys are back in town. Boys are back in town. It's been a while.
• 2:03
  Speaker C: Yeah, it seems like forever.
• 2:05
  Speaker B: It has been forever. It's been ages. I haven't actually spoken to you for ages, Benjamin.
• 2:09
  Speaker C: I know. I feel very, very, very sad. I'm happy that it's the three of us. I didn't know if we had a guest. And it's not that I don't like our guest because they're amazing, but it's nice that it's. We've got the three of us.
• 2:21
  Speaker B: Yeah, I like it when it's.
• 2:22
  Speaker A: You don't want to do any prep.
• 2:23
  Speaker C: Let's face it, I do prep when there's guests.
• 2:27
  Speaker A: No.
• 2:28
  Speaker B: Yeah. Since then. Was that a thing?
• 2:30
  Speaker A: Have you ever listened to the podcast Smart List where there's three of Them and one of them each week brings on a guest but doesn't tell the others who it is. So that way they don't have to do any prep and they surprise them with a guest. I think that's quite a good way of doing it.
• 2:44
  Speaker B: What happens if they don't know who the guest is?
• 2:46
  Speaker A: Well, they're always really famous because they're famous. It's Jason Bateman, Will what's his Face and the gay guy from Will and Grace. So they have famous friends. So it's like Julia Roberts is like the guests and Tim. Tom Hanks.
• 3:00
  Speaker C: That doesn't really count though, does it? You don't really need to do prep for those guests, do you?
• 3:05
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's true.
• 3:07
  Speaker A: I think. I think I. I do. Yep. A little bit of prep. So we could.
• 3:12
  Speaker C: We played that game. But you're always. It's always your turn, Jenny. It's always your turn to find the guest and do the prep.
• 3:22
  Speaker A: Thanks. Yeah. I've been waiting for Simon to set up Izzy Taylor and Ros Cantor for two years now. So, I mean, one day we'll get them on. We actually had a request for Ros on the. On the old socials. Can we get Ros on? I was going to say wait till winter when she's less busy.
• 3:37
  Speaker B: Yes. Good move.
• 3:38
  Speaker C: I also.
• 3:39
  Speaker B: Anyway, and Jenny's in her new kitchen.
• 3:42
  Speaker C: I was going to say.
• 3:42
  Speaker B: This must be the first one that you've done in the new kitchen. Or did you do the last one in the new kitchen?
• 3:47
  Speaker A: No, this is me. Stress levels through the roof. No pictures hung up. Still a mess. But getting there. New house on the hill. We've moved up into the hills away. You will no longer hear the mine horn, I'm afraid.
• 3:59
  Speaker B: Oh, that is sad.
• 4:00
  Speaker C: End of an era. So is all of this because that dog tried to bite your child so you moved house.
• 4:07
  Speaker A: That would have been a bit extreme. No, I want a garden, I think.
• 4:11
  Speaker B: Would it though, Jenny, would that be extreme for you? I don't think it would.
• 4:15
  Speaker A: Both of you. So I did said woman with dog. We were down at the general store and she tied said dog right outside the door and left it unattended. And so my husband went up to
• 4:29
  Speaker C: her at the general store. Was this before you went to the saloon? Like what?
• 4:35
  Speaker A: It is called the general store.
• 4:39
  Speaker B: What's shootout?
• 4:40
  Speaker C: It's no longer a shop or a supermarket. It's the general store.
• 4:44
  Speaker A: It is a general. It's an old school general store. It's really cute. They've done it up because they've done up the area, but it is like, proper. Walk in with your cowboy boots, type the. The adornings outside. But anyway, she tied dog outside and as I said, if I see that dog left unattended, I will report it. So my husband went up to her and said, look, you've just done it again. And she said, I thought you guys had moved. Why do you care? Well, way to take responsibility. And then Greg, she said, your family took my dog by surprise. My child was walking along a pavement, like a public footpath. And so Greg said, what if a kid had come out the shop and taken your dog by surprise, then what's the excuse then? And he was like, I just want you to have a lovely day, but I will be reporting you. And we have reported her. And she was like, how can I have a lovely day? You've ruined it. And your family, you just. Why, this is a nice dog. And he was like, it's your own. You're the bad owner. Like, the dog's nice as long as you don't take it by surprise. Children don't come near it, or other dogs don't come near it, then the dog's lovely.
• 5:51
  Speaker C: It's good at shops though, by the sounds of things.
• 5:53
  Speaker A: Yeah. So she literally left it. There's so many places she could have tied it. And she tied it up right outside the door.
• 5:59
  Speaker C: How did I. I don't know how people do that. Anyway.
• 6:03
  Speaker A: I wouldn't even tie my dogs, who are friendly outside a door.
• 6:07
  Speaker C: I always say my dog is nice and friendly.
• 6:10
  Speaker B: It gets.
• 6:11
  Speaker C: I'd be so pissed off.
• 6:12
  Speaker B: Oh, sorry.
• 6:12
  Speaker C: So gone. I just said I thought someone. What if someone stole your dog?
• 6:18
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 6:20
  Speaker C: Why would you be pissed off, Simon?
• 6:22
  Speaker B: I. Well, I'd be pissed off if I was her because I'd be like, as if I've just come to the shops and only like the only time I come, these people have managed to see my dog here. Like, it's must be fairly bad luck that you guys having to be there at the same time as her.
• 6:36
  Speaker C: Or karma that she's probably just had like a massive row at home being like, I'm not taking the dog to the shops. And they're like, no, it's one time. This one time. Take the dog with you, help us out.
• 6:49
  Speaker B: They're not gonna be there, so just get on with it.
• 6:52
  Speaker A: And I think it's worse now. Cause we're really calm about it. We're like, just so you know, we will be reporting you.
• 7:00
  Speaker B: Jenny, are you sure about that? Yeah. Is We.
• 7:02
  Speaker C: Your new way to describe Gregor.
• 7:05
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 7:06
  Speaker B: Because I can't see you as being calm with something like that. We are going to report you.
• 7:12
  Speaker A: We are so calm.
• 7:13
  Speaker C: I know, so calm.
• 7:19
  Speaker A: Anyway, shall we move on, you bastards.
• 7:24
  Speaker C: I like your kitchen.
• 7:26
  Speaker A: Thanks. A bit dated. It's got some weird like aesthetic around the edge of the cupboards which makes it look old, but just makes it look dirty and it really winds me up.
• 7:36
  Speaker B: No, I think it makes it look expensive.
• 7:38
  Speaker A: Do you think, Simon, you need to up your tastes. But anyway, yeah, I'll give you guys a tour on WhatsApp at some point. But I moved house because I think kids should have a garden and I can't not have a garden. But our neighbors are Irish and my dogs have worked out how to get into the neighbour's garden. So Maverick and Woof keep getting ejected back over the fence.
• 7:58
  Speaker C: So now you have become the person, the neighbour with the unruly dogs. The wheel has come forth. Oh my goodness.
• 8:06
  Speaker B: Yes, that's right.
• 8:07
  Speaker A: Their dog Chewy comes this way as well. So they have a number of dogs.
• 8:10
  Speaker B: Oh, it's even Steven's.
• 8:11
  Speaker A: Yeah, it's even Steven.
• 8:12
  Speaker C: Before me and George lived at the farm, we lived in town and our neighbors had like a 14 year old son that was really hard to get out of bed on a weekend.
• 8:21
  Speaker A: And.
• 8:22
  Speaker C: And on the off chance that one of us was at home with the dog, they'd come and knock on the door and be like, can we borrow your dog? And they'd just take him and throw him into the bedroom and he'd jump on the bed and lick the teenager till they woke up. That was our experience with our neighbors. That's huge. It's a cute story.
• 8:38
  Speaker A: That is very.
• 8:40
  Speaker B: The teenager might not have liked that, to be fair.
• 8:42
  Speaker A: No.
• 8:42
  Speaker C: And there was another time where we gave the dog a prawn cracker and put it out in the garden and then the dog came back in with a sausage.
• 8:51
  Speaker A: What?
• 8:52
  Speaker C: A cooked sausage. And we were like, what? And then we went into the garden and looked over the fence like he'd gone through to their garden, traded his prawn cracker for their three year old sausage and come back
• 9:08
  Speaker B: and they.
• 9:09
  Speaker C: And our neighbors are so confused. When we came out, they were like, where has our child got a prawn cracker from? We were like, oh, yeah, sorry. How bad? Anyway, they were both happy. How bizarre.
• 9:19
  Speaker A: That is the most bizarre story ever. My friend Jen, because she's quite rogue, who you guys have both met. She has. In her garden. Her guinea pigs kept escaping their outdoor run area. So she was just like, yeah, fuck it, if they keep escaping, let's just see what happens. So she just let them be free roam in the garden and didn't really kind of pay attention to where they'd be. And on Facebook kept getting messages like, does anyone own two guinea pigs? Because the guinea pigs would just roam between all. There was like, she lives on, like, a terrace between all the gardens in every house. And then just come back. And so she was like, they're just free range guinea pigs. These guinea pigs love it. All year round, she's put little houses out there in case they want. Should they just sleep in the privet hedge? Yeah, she just has free range guinea pigs. But most neighbors, do they not get eaten? No. And there's. She's even sent me videos of the neighbor's cat watching the guinea pigs. But she just has free range guinea pigs.
• 10:16
  Speaker C: You're not going to set Susan free, are you?
• 10:18
  Speaker A: Susan wouldn't. Susan. Susan couldn't handle it. Susan is not Chewbacca. Maybe Chewbacca's taken to having a little roam around the garden. We're just worried coyotes might come and eat him. But her. Sorry, but Susan. No, Susan can't. We took Susan on holiday and every time in the car went over a bump, we just go, oh, sorry, Susan. Because we just had visions of this guinea pig in the boot going, ah. So now if anyone gets upset in our house, unjustifiably, we just go, oh, sorry, Susan.
• 10:46
  Speaker B: Yeah, so you have coyotes knocking about.
• 10:49
  Speaker A: Yeah. So I can't really have cats here. Cats get eaten.
• 10:53
  Speaker B: Oh, my God, that's amazing. Coyotes, Yagli.
• 10:56
  Speaker A: And we have cougars out the back and bobcats. There's. Oh, I went camping. So my friend Alex messaged me on Monday. Going. Going up to Whistler with their, like, trailer camper. Do you want to come? Because his wife was away. This now really, in my head, probably sounds really dodgy. His wife was away and Greg is away. So he was like, do you want to go camping with me? We could all just share a big camper. Which in hindsight does sound weird.
• 11:21
  Speaker C: That sounds bad.
• 11:23
  Speaker A: Yeah, it does. But it isn't because it's Alex and absolutely no part of me would ever fancy him. But Nica does listen to this podcast, so. Hi, Nica. And then, yeah, so we all just bombed up to Whistler and went to this, like, the Olympic park and just camped in the car park and the kids played football. And then there was a mama bear with two cubs right next to our campsite. These two tiny little cubs. It was really cool.
• 11:44
  Speaker C: Wow. Scary.
• 11:46
  Speaker B: That is. Wow.
• 11:48
  Speaker A: Yeah, like if anyone wants to see them, go and check out my Instagram. But yeah, very, very cute. Like very, very cute.
• 11:54
  Speaker B: Oh, have I missed that on your Instagram? Sorry, I should have seen that.
• 11:57
  Speaker A: I put it on stories. I'll put it, I'll send it to you guys. But honestly. So she said what was really interesting is the cubs are in the tree because mama goes off and eats a little bit away from them. So they climb up the trees so they can still see her and then when she comes back, they climb back down. She did head towards me at one point. She headed towards me. I was like, like made my noises and she was like, yeah, all right.
• 12:18
  Speaker C: But she was black.
• 12:19
  Speaker A: Yeah, Black bear. Yeah, but this is bear. So there was a ranger that came through the park and was like, oh, that's Ruby. She's famous. If you go on and look up Black bear in Whistler defending cubs from grizzly bear. There's a video of her from 2023 attacking a grizzly bear that's trying to eat her cubs. She's quite famous bear.
• 12:42
  Speaker B: So grizzly bears are the horrible ones.
• 12:44
  Speaker A: Yeah. So black, you fight back. Grizzly lay down, play dead and hope it doesn't eat you.
• 12:52
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 12:52
  Speaker A: Yeah, you don't want to meet a grizzly, you'll get eaten. But black bears, they may bluff, charge you and charge you and you could have some spray, they could do you some damage. But 90% of the time, unless it's a mum and you're in between her and her cubs, they will just leave you alone. They're omnivores and they, they eat like the dogs. So if I had the dogs and the dogs wanted them upset them, they would chase the dogs and probably attack me because I'm associated with the dogs. But as long as you give them space, they're all right. But it's very cool to see baby cubs next to our tent.
• 13:21
  Speaker B: You're such a local now.
• 13:22
  Speaker A: I am such a local.
• 13:23
  Speaker B: She knows, she knows how to work everything.
• 13:25
  Speaker C: I squeal if I'm walking across the yard at night and like a rat runs out. Never mind. Do you know, it's quite scary though, to be fair.
• 13:36
  Speaker B: Ben, are you so you've been very. You must be absolutely knackered. Like you're just nonstop.
• 13:42
  Speaker C: The crescendo of this was last weekend I did a three day clinic. And this sounds nothing to someone like Simon because he's superhuman the way he teaches. But it was the most Lessons I think I've done in a day. I did 10 back to back lessons. So we had two group lessons of four people in the morning and then eight individual. And then. Well, started in the morning and then eight individual lessons. Did that for three days. And it was so hot. I was so poorly, like. So anyone who is on the clinic won't know this, but like, I was chucking my guts up at the.
• 14:21
  Speaker B: Oh, so you had heat stroke?
• 14:23
  Speaker C: I think so. Like on a morning or a night, I would finish, walk in, just be like. And then clamber back out the next morning.
• 14:32
  Speaker A: Right.
• 14:32
  Speaker C: Some of it was undercover, but it was just like hot and of course, like for everyone. You forget, don't you? Because I was like, well, the horses are fine, so it can't be heat stroke. But then I'm out in it constantly all day. Yeah. Without a break. But yeah, we've had shows, we've had demos, we've had clinics, we've been filming. We've been literally like.
• 14:53
  Speaker B: Has there been a single day where you've actually been at home and been able to just stay at home and just chill?
• 14:58
  Speaker C: I think today would be the first day. Today would be the day that we've just been at home,
• 15:05
  Speaker B: like, literally for the last, like three months it's been. Or two months.
• 15:08
  Speaker C: It's been bonker. Two months. It's been chaotic for. But so I just sort of spent all day with Wild and Yeah. Was lovely.
• 15:17
  Speaker B: How is it.
• 15:18
  Speaker A: So is it from a monetary point of view, though, worth the graft? Is this kind of your, like, make hay where the sun shines? Because that's sometimes the problem with horses. You feel like you're grafting and grafting and grafting and then you look at your bank balance and you're like, ugh.
• 15:36
  Speaker C: Yes and no. It's keeping all the plates spinning.
• 15:40
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 15:41
  Speaker B: So I don't think I've ever. I think I've ever had that. Like, I've had. When I've like, been like, grafting around, I'm like, graph, graph, graph, graph, graph. And don't really think about the money, just. Just kind of get on with it. Because I want to.
• 15:52
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 15:52
  Speaker B: Better myself, whatever. And. But then when it gets to winter and it all starts to, like, calm down, then I look at my bank balance and I go, oh, God. Because, like, when you're really busy and you're keeping on going and you're doing stuff all the time, you don't really think about it and it all just kind of happens. Whereas when you've Got time to actually think about it, Then you start getting really nervous about it. Well, I do anyway.
• 16:15
  Speaker C: I don't want to. I have to agree with Simon a bit. I don't. I probably think about the right things, but not the money. Like, and I. And as long as I'm busy, if I'm busy during the day and tired at night, I'm sure I'm making money because that's generally. But, like, for me, I'm thinking more about, like, there's the training at home for my performance team and then the effort that goes into the shows. Yeah, that makes money. Of course it does. But I'm always more thinking about setting the horses up right for the gig, doing a good job at the gig while I'm there, looking after my staff and my riders, do, you know, sort of like fulfilling those obligations. And then when it comes to the teaching, again, it's not thinking about, oh, I'm doing this to make money. It's like, right, I've been away performing for ages, so I've not seen any of my, like, students face to face for ages. So then put in my full self into the clinic to make sure that I help them as much as I can and we get everything in. And so it's more like. And like, some of the film jobs and stuff have been with sponsors and things. I think I can say we're filming with Lemieux for some cool stuff. Doing, like, yeah, some really cool stuff.
• 17:23
  Speaker A: Other clothing brands are available, though. If you wish to sponsor this podcast, please give me a call, email us a Shut up and Ride podcast.
• 17:31
  Speaker C: And it's like, things like that, like, they're really good to me, so then I need to try and be really good to them back. Do you know? So it's more. It's. It's sort of like thinking, oh, I need to fit you and I need to fit that in. Like, I need to. I'm working with the mounted police at the moment, helping train police horses, and I need to get back to them again.
• 17:51
  Speaker A: That is so cool.
• 17:53
  Speaker C: It is really cool. I like. And they're really cool.
• 17:56
  Speaker A: They're cool horses because they're chosen for their personality, aren't they?
• 18:00
  Speaker C: So personality and size. Size more than personality. Like, they're like 18 hands high and
• 18:10
  Speaker B: they're intimidating, but they're supposed to be, aren't they?
• 18:12
  Speaker C: 18 hands wide. They are. Like, when you're stood with them and they're like, this one jumps a bit when it hears noises and you're looking at it thinking, don't jump on me when you hear a noise because there's
• 18:23
  Speaker B: gonna be an earthquake.
• 18:24
  Speaker C: Um, but yeah, that's the. And then the weirdest thing, thinking about being busy is then it's just like parent life around that. Like, this was a lot before and. And I wouldn't say it's parent life as in, I love all the time I spend with Wild. I absolutely do. And I make sure I do. But then. So, like, I've got quite good. Which probably isn't a good thing at switching my work brain off, because, like, the other day I was looking after Wild and I just decided to take him out and go to the park and stuff for, like a couple of hours. And so, like, normally you'd be sat there thinking, I've got those emails to do. I've got all those horses to work. There's still that stuff to do on the yard. But just had to learn to be like, nope, switch that off. I'm gonna go.
• 19:12
  Speaker B: Is that a bad. Is that a bad thing?
• 19:15
  Speaker C: I think it could be a bad thing if you did it. If you got too good at that. But you can't ignore your responsibilities, can you?
• 19:21
  Speaker B: Yeah, but it's a good thing that you're able to switch off.
• 19:24
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 19:25
  Speaker B: And remove yourself from it and. But as long as you can, then put yourself back.
• 19:29
  Speaker C: Well, I remember hearing the Rock talk about it like, you know, Dwayne Johnson, the Rock, saying about how the way he tries to do it is that whatever you're doing, do that 100%. So if you're at work, don't be half at work, half at home. Be like, in your mind, you know, be at work, do the job. When you're at home, be at home. If you're with your kids, be with your kids. Like, don't. Don't try and do two things at once. Try and. But it's a lot. So, yeah, I've been a busy boy.
• 20:01
  Speaker A: That's my phone for a pain in the ass. Because often, like, you're trying to play playmobil Horse and build that, but because you, especially when you work for yourself, you know that your phone can ding. And then it's so easy to just open a message and reply via WhatsApp. Whereas back in the day it was you had to open your laptop, get your emails out to reply. But now everyone does everything via WhatsApp rather than a professional email or a letter even further back. But do you know what I mean? A letter.
• 20:34
  Speaker C: Shall we correspond via. Via letters?
• 20:36
  Speaker A: But you know what I mean? Like, it's so easy to be distracted because you can go, oh, just reply quickly to this rather than playing football.
• 20:44
  Speaker C: More than that, I find it hard where if I get an email or I've had two emails recently with stunning, really exciting job opportunities that I've had to turn down because I'm already booked for other things and I don't want to say what any of the things are because I don't want to make anybody feel bad. But there are two massive. Like, one of the shows was over in the UAE and it was a big, long contract and I was already booked for something else. And you're like, oh. And then one of the biggest shows. Well, I think it is technically the biggest outdoor event in the uk. That's a biggest county show in the uk. And they asked me last minute and I was like, I can't. And then what I find hard about that is if you've got that news and you're meant to be, you've just glanced at that on your face phone and then you're meant to be like, happy family man or whatever, and then deep inside you're like, oh, I want. I want a bath and a bottle of red wine and to wallow and feel sorry for myself. Instead, you're like, let's dance to the Wiggles.
• 21:48
  Speaker B: That is.
• 21:48
  Speaker A: How is your dance?
• 21:50
  Speaker C: My dance to the Wiggles? I don't. I don't. I don't watch a lot of Wiggles. I'm sure they're great people, but I look at them and I'm like, I wouldn't leave any of you with my kids.
• 21:59
  Speaker A: I know. I'm a bit like that. He's a little bit weird.
• 22:02
  Speaker B: Explain what Wiggles are. Sorry, sorry, what is this?
• 22:06
  Speaker A: They're like Australian, aren't they?
• 22:08
  Speaker C: Australian people aged between like 30 and 60 who dance for kids on TV.
• 22:14
  Speaker A: And the main guy is like the older guy.
• 22:16
  Speaker C: And he wasn't always the older guy. Like, he's just been around a long time. But we've. Yeah, it is. There's some dodgy kids TV out there.
• 22:27
  Speaker A: It's not Bluey, put it that way, which is awesome.
• 22:28
  Speaker C: Ah, see, I'm not a Bluey person.
• 22:31
  Speaker A: No. But you have to get into it because it's got, like, really funny. It's really funny. Delilah, because of watching Bluey, calls Greg a big fella.
• 22:39
  Speaker B: Big fella.
• 22:40
  Speaker A: I. I actually genuinely. She's that clever. I think she gets the irony in that as well. Because my husband is not a big man.
• 22:46
  Speaker C: He's 10ft tall. Jenny inside. Yeah, we've had a really good time. I saw our lovely Harry at Bolesworth. He saw me nearly get killed, which was great.
• 23:00
  Speaker A: Please tell us about this. So we got a message on Instagram saying, is Ben all right? Something, something, something. I'm like, I get these messages all the time, like, oh, can you tell Simon how much I love him? I am not their fucking secretary. Message them yourself. Anyway, something happened at Bosworth. Tell us. You need a guide.
• 23:21
  Speaker C: It was day one. It's the first performance. Bosworth Serena is like in a bowl, which is super cool because when you're performing in it, like the crowd are almost on tiered seats, even if they're just stood, you know, because they're on banks at the side.
• 23:37
  Speaker A: And it's like a moat, isn't it?
• 23:38
  Speaker C: Yeah, it's got a moat and everything and a bridge. It's cool. But it means that it's like a wind tunnel. So the entire time you're in there, like that day it was so windy, so the horses were already on it edge. It was the first time any of my four babies had seen an arena like that, like properly at an event. So everything was all a bit. They were a bit hot, they were really good. And then a member of staff not from Bolsworth, a separately contracted member of staff from an outside party. They have like a judge's box in the center of the arena. And as I was walking with the team of 10 loose, just as I came past the judges box, they did like a Neo from the Matrix Parkour leap out of the judges box over the rail and it just spooked the crap out of the boys and they shot forwards and yeah, we'll have to try and get the video of Harry because apparently it's hilarious. I go through like seven different emotions in a second of being like, what's that? Oh, oh, stop. They're not gonna stop. I'm going to die. And I managed to just sort of get rollered between two of them. But yeah, it was. Do you know when some.
• 25:04
  Speaker B: How the hell did you not get hurt?
• 25:05
  Speaker C: I don't know. Like, I really do not know because they were. When they came past me, there was not room for me. And it was weird because in my mind it lasted like an hour, but it was obviously like two seconds.
• 25:21
  Speaker A: Like I was thinking, when time slows down when you're about to die, it really does.
• 25:26
  Speaker C: Yeah, well, I was thinking, okay, cool, your ACL's gonna get smashed again. Who here can take over immediately? What are we gonna do for the rest of the season. D' you know, like, I'm having that entire conversation with myself in my head and then the moment all the horses ran off and then they cantered around, then they came back and when they all came back, I was like, I'm actually fine. I'm actually completely fine. And I do not. Do not know how. But, yeah, that's how I daily died at Bolsworth.
• 25:55
  Speaker B: Talking of. Talking of which, how is your knee?
• 25:58
  Speaker C: Knee's good. Knee's good.
• 25:59
  Speaker B: Is it standing up to all of this? Because, like, it's. It's fucking hell. It's been put through the mill, hasn't it, for this?
• 26:04
  Speaker C: Yeah, it's going really, really well. That it's hard. There's only two things that seem to really hurt it and that is pushing the pram on, like, dodgy ground, like gravel and stuff. And there's like a shopping trolley in Tesco's,
• 26:27
  Speaker B: like, so you're not doing any shopping or childcare?
• 26:32
  Speaker C: I'm really sad. I love doing the big shop. I think it is. Oh, I get so excited. I love it. I'm like, oh, it has to be a Tesco, because I know they organize things, but I. It just. Oh. So I can't even get into words. It feels. Brings me so much joy. But someone's really excited about this.
• 26:55
  Speaker A: Really weird. Is this like you're like food porn or something? Like, I think I know what's going on here.
• 27:01
  Speaker C: I think it's from being a kid
• 27:03
  Speaker A: and having a bit of a time to yourself.
• 27:05
  Speaker C: No, when you're a kid, you go to Tesco's with Mum and then you know you're going to get like, that's the best day for food.
• 27:11
  Speaker B: You're going to get some form of treat.
• 27:12
  Speaker C: Yeah, well, like, if you behave. The day of the big shop is the day where all the good food is in the house. Like, you've got everything. So it's like a great day because I love it.
• 27:21
  Speaker A: Right, but did you, when you were a kid, always want to push the trolley, but if your mum or dad held onto the end of the trolley or helped you push it, did it not infuriate you? No.
• 27:30
  Speaker C: I used to like getting given missions, like, go and find free cucumbers.
• 27:37
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 27:38
  Speaker C: Off you go.
• 27:39
  Speaker B: Off he goes.
• 27:41
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 27:42
  Speaker A: Delilah was pushing a trolley around one of the shops the other day and drove into a whole pile of soda streams, bottles, fucking devastating bottles everywhere.
• 27:53
  Speaker B: So Delilah, does Delilah take after her mother? And if you try and guide the trolley with your hand at the same time, does she Get.
• 28:00
  Speaker A: Raji absolutely loses her mind. So does James. Absolutely. And what's so weird is I know how much it infuriated me as a child, but when they're driving it, you can't help but hold onto it to stop it going into a whole pile of soda streams. It's just. Yeah, I now know why my mother did it to me. But my God. Loses her absolute mind. I may as well have told her she's. I'm gonna kill some kittens. Can't bear it.
• 28:25
  Speaker B: Oh, God, that bad.
• 28:27
  Speaker A: And also one of the things I want to put into the seven circles of hell in the same way as you do with cyclists. Whoever invented fucking the sweet aisle and the sweets next to the checkout? Mummy, what's this? What's bubblegum? What's this? Mummy, can I have some of this? Mummy, can I have this? I fucking wish death upon you. Which marketing genius did that? Because that's the place where they're bored waiting for their turn. And that's where all the bloody chocolate is.
• 28:53
  Speaker C: So do you think that, like, junk food, like, sweets and stuff, should have the same sort of rules as, like, cigarette packets do in this country?
• 29:03
  Speaker A: So they can't be like, rotten teeth on the front.
• 29:07
  Speaker C: Yeah, rotten teeth and, like, clogged arteries and, like, no colorful branding, like. No, I just think it should be
• 29:14
  Speaker A: put out of reach. Just put it that bit higher so they can't see it.
• 29:18
  Speaker C: So they can't see it.
• 29:20
  Speaker B: Or like. Like. Like back in the day, it used to be the same with porn mags.
• 29:24
  Speaker A: Yes, exactly. Thank you, Simon. Glad to know what you were trying to reach for as a child. Me and Ben were trying to reach for the sweets. You were on the porn mag.
• 29:34
  Speaker C: I actually have a friend. I don't. No, I can't.
• 29:37
  Speaker A: Yes, you can. Oh, no.
• 29:39
  Speaker C: When we were teenagers, I do not know why I. Maybe this is too far. I don't know. We started. I've started, so I'll finish the good.
• 29:50
  Speaker A: The.
• 29:51
  Speaker C: When my mum was driving me and my mate somewhere, normally to, like, a show when we were younger, we were, like, 15, 16, my mate JD would buy a porn magazine in the services when we stopped and then would, like, read out the stories to my mum in the car, but in, like, really weird accents, he'd be like, hi, this is gonna be today. Like, everyone's gonna be like, I don't know, from Russia. And, like, he wasn't not good at accents either, so he'd be like. Be like, everyone's gonna be French and just reading these terror like, by the way, if whoever writes that stuff, it's not great, is it? Like, you could write better stuff yourself.
• 30:34
  Speaker A: But I'm not sure they're looking for the intellectual qualities here.
• 30:37
  Speaker C: I'm not sure anybody apart from us has ever read the things in the thing, because otherwise you're just there for the pictures. But, yeah, I just. A weird childhood memory is that childhood a teenage mem. And my mum used to find it. Childhood Mum would find it worryingly amusing. She just found it the funniest thing in the world. And she's gonna kill me for telling that story on the podcast.
• 31:01
  Speaker B: She's got a great sense of humour.
• 31:03
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 31:05
  Speaker B: So does that mean that you're coming to the end of this cycle of busyness? Yeah, that was a bit of a no.
• 31:14
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 31:15
  Speaker A: The end of September diverted the conversation away from us asking, did he read porn magazines as well?
• 31:20
  Speaker C: Who?
• 31:22
  Speaker A: Simon just diverted the conversation away from whether. From him bringing up porn magazines to, oh, no one's gonna ask me about it. I'm gonna go back to talking about Ben.
• 31:30
  Speaker B: No, I just remember my. My roommate at school reading the. Reading those stories. So, yeah, you weren't. You weren't alone, like, having the. I don't even really know why he was reading them, but all these magazines had, like, fitbirds in them. And I was like, yeah, great.
• 31:48
  Speaker C: Anyway, can I say. That's right. That's the. That. Yeah, that's where my brain immediately went. This boy, really excited, sharing a room with Simon, being like, look at this. And Sam's like, yeah, I did. I do remember.
• 32:01
  Speaker B: I do remember this. This specific lady was like, you know, I think if. If you were gay, I wouldn't be able to share a room with you. And I was like, oh, why is that? And he was like, because you'd probably try it on with me or something. And I was like, no. Thinking to myself, well, that's unfortunate.
• 32:18
  Speaker A: Hey, that is. That is.
• 32:20
  Speaker C: That is the ultimate straight guy. Silent hurt when one of your friends comes out gay and you're like, they never hit on me.
• 32:28
  Speaker B: Why didn't you try it on with me?
• 32:29
  Speaker C: Like, am I not good enough? Like, what. What should I be doing differently? Like, why am I not enough? I've been around for 10 years.
• 32:41
  Speaker B: He's a really great guy. Really great guy.
• 32:44
  Speaker C: Anyway, what have you two been up to?
• 32:47
  Speaker B: Go on, Jenny, what you been doing?
• 32:48
  Speaker A: Moving house, being stressed out of my mind. Sounds so unusual for me. You're tired. I'm stressed. Ben's trying not to die on horses. Yeah, no, just moving House trying to enjoy the summer because kids in Canada go on school holidays in the middle of June. Yeah.
• 33:07
  Speaker B: Oh, there's a June break. We had that. My school.
• 33:09
  Speaker A: Well, they. That's it then. They're done till September. So it's a bear. It's eight. Over eight weeks of school holidays, which is interesting.
• 33:18
  Speaker B: That's pretty cool if you're a teacher, isn't it?
• 33:20
  Speaker A: And you know what else I've been trying to do? Boys. Do you know what else has caused me stress? Have a think. What could possibly cause me stress?
• 33:27
  Speaker B: Well, no idea.
• 33:29
  Speaker C: It can't possibly be organizing.
• 33:32
  Speaker A: What could.
• 33:32
  Speaker B: What could not organizing anything. Yeah, no, Jenny doesn't do stuff like that.
• 33:38
  Speaker C: She might have stressed about it.
• 33:40
  Speaker A: Ben, you haven't replied to a WhatsApp message in nearly a month.
• 33:44
  Speaker C: Yeah, I have. I know I have.
• 33:45
  Speaker A: But yet when I hand over the money from our tours, you happily take it. So I've resorted to messaging your mother. Look, this is my stern face, Benjamin. I'm leaning in.
• 33:57
  Speaker C: Look, the professional term for my mother is my manager. The. You guys had it handled. I knew you'd figure it out.
• 34:08
  Speaker A: You didn't need my own Becky bloody moody. I'm thinking of sacking you two and bringing her full time onto the pod. So anyway, do you know what? It has been quite stressful because venues just don't reply. A lot of them like, it's like. And then some are quite expensive and then loads of them have no space in the winter and trying to find a venue that is can actually see enough people and all of our needs and have audio and have everything and blah blah, blah is actually really bloody difficult. And trying to do it on a weekend, trying to have one in the south and the north, it's impossible. So we are going back to our old faithfuls. We are going back to the unicorn on the 4th of February and we are going to go to Bishop Burton on 6 February because those two venues are glorious and reply and were just brilliant and the Unicorns added more seating. So despite your uselessness of both of you and umming and ahhing and replying,
• 35:09
  Speaker B: can you definitely do those dates? Because I'm just starting to wonder whether I might be a bit busy.
• 35:13
  Speaker A: I will fucking end both of you.
• 35:15
  Speaker C: Also, Jenny, like, don't. I'll throw myself under the bus a bit. Don't trust Simon with my brush. He's been bad, but not as bad as me. Like, oh my goodness, no.
• 35:26
  Speaker A: Because he didn't know if he could do the date in March. That was a possibility. He just went on radio silence so
• 35:31
  Speaker C: he didn't see Simon. You're better see. Don't tell her you don't know. Just don't reply.
• 35:36
  Speaker B: It's easier, just easier to just not reply to anything. I do that. I'm in a lot of trouble.
• 35:43
  Speaker A: You're the worst humans. So that has been my stress. But we now finally have the dates. Becky is coming back and I have lots of plans and we're going to try and get a show jumper along. So, Simon, Becky's coming up on two days. Becky's coming both in.
• 35:56
  Speaker B: Both, yeah.
• 35:57
  Speaker C: Amazing.
• 35:58
  Speaker A: So Becky will be there and Becky this time wants to do the liberty.
• 36:02
  Speaker C: Cool.
• 36:03
  Speaker A: We can do that, I think. And people do send us messages of what you would like to see on the tour because we're open for anything. I think dogs might be involved this year as well. I think we're going to get some dogs involved. But I think Becky, this time Simon should train Ben dressage, but at liberty. So I think you should be on a horse without a bridle and Becky should give you a dressage lesson.
• 36:24
  Speaker C: Yeah, that'd work. I've got a horse
• 36:28
  Speaker A: that helps. Or we just give you one of those. You know how that thing is a competition where the people do the hobby horse.
• 36:35
  Speaker C: I tell you what, that is getting bigger and bigger. At nearly every show I have been to this year, there's been a hobby horse arena.
• 36:43
  Speaker B: I would have loved that when I was a kid. I would have absolutely loved it.
• 36:47
  Speaker A: But I feel like it's a bit fancy. We used to make jumps out of sticks.
• 36:51
  Speaker C: Yeah. All the kids at Bolesworth had professional little show jumps.
• 36:56
  Speaker B: When I was a kid, I used to design proper cross country fences and I'd build them like, just like they were really like proper professionally done. And then like. And I'd like build, build finches and brushes and stuff. But like they'd be properly like. I had a course designer course builder manual thing and I used to like do it properly. Like they were proper solid fences.
• 37:17
  Speaker C: It was.
• 37:18
  Speaker B: I was quite impressed with myself. But I am quite impressed looking back.
• 37:21
  Speaker A: Well, did you build your own cross country?
• 37:24
  Speaker B: Yeah, build my own cross country. I was in the garden for me to jump. Jump over myself.
• 37:27
  Speaker C: That's not very good. It's not very gay at all. I don't think it is. But then everybody thinks that I am gay.
• 37:34
  Speaker B: Mate. That is quite gay to like me prancing around, cantering around and jumping sticks. But like. But I just. Yeah, I just went quite to town with the actual designing of it.
• 37:42
  Speaker C: I wasn't imagining that part. I was imagining you with all this wood and power tools. Yeah.
• 37:47
  Speaker B: Being a lad, I don't think he
• 37:49
  Speaker A: had wooden power tools. I think he had bits of string
• 37:52
  Speaker C: and some sticks and some gaffer tape and a dream.
• 37:56
  Speaker A: There's nothing.
• 37:57
  Speaker B: Back then you used to have penalty zones. So, like, a penalty zone was like a zone around each fence at the big events and if you were about to fall off, but you managed to get your horse. So, like, say your horse left a leg at the fence and then you were nearly falling off, but you. You could. You nearly saved yourself, but not quite. If you get out of the penalty zone and you fell off, then you weren't penalized.
• 38:21
  Speaker C: Oh, could you imagine that these days?
• 38:25
  Speaker B: Yeah. So, like, there's a video somewhere of Lucinda Green and she. She's. She's literally hanging on and she's got one leg round. She nearly falls off in the leg, I think it is. And then she guides. She's got one leg hooked over the saddle and she's literally. Her whole body is nearly on the floor and she basically tries to, like, shimmy the horse along out of the penalty zone so then she can fall off and then not be penalized.
• 38:49
  Speaker A: And then I tried to finish.
• 38:50
  Speaker C: What a different world when you could be like, I went around badminton. Clear. I fell off four times, but I was clear.
• 38:56
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 38:56
  Speaker B: But I wasn't penalised. Yeah. And back in the day, you could fall off and just get straight back on and just carry on, I think,
• 39:03
  Speaker A: make it more entertaining.
• 39:04
  Speaker B: But they. But so the penalty zones were, like, marked with stakes. So I'd have to have a penalty zone around my jumps because obviously, you know, I was doing it properly. And I remember my dad being like, I really. Why do you put those stakes in the ground in the garden? And I was like, it's the penalty zone. And he was like, I'm just a bit worried about you falling on them or something. And I was like, oh, dad, you're so boring. Anyway, sorry, that's so dull.
• 39:31
  Speaker A: Just show everyone else and geek you are. I love it.
• 39:34
  Speaker B: I was terrible. I had to do it so properly. It was.
• 39:38
  Speaker C: Yeah, I was the opposite. I had. Oh, my. Used to go to my granddad's and steal all of his plastic white, like, you know, lawn furniture. Those old white plastic chairs. And they would be the jump wings. And then I would just lean, like, a sweeping brush and stuff across the chair to make a jump.
• 39:55
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's what we used to do.
• 39:57
  Speaker B: Not Simon Greed.
• 39:59
  Speaker A: Oh, no, he was building badminton. Would you ever go into a bit, of course. Design? Do you ever fancy.
• 40:06
  Speaker B: Probably not, no. I used to be quite into that idea, but I'm not sure. I don't know if I'm brave enough. I think you've got to be. You've got to have a. You've got to be very strong willed and you've got to, you know, be very confident of yourself with it.
• 40:25
  Speaker C: You've got to have not ridden around Badminton to know how it would feel to ride into that fence to design that fence. Yeah, that's a question. Do the people who design the courses, like, have they jumped around stuff like that?
• 40:40
  Speaker B: Yeah, like Eric Winter, who designs Babington. He's did badminton and Burley multiple times.
• 40:46
  Speaker C: Yeah, that makes sense.
• 40:50
  Speaker B: Mark Phillips.
• 40:51
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 40:51
  Speaker A: Done everything.
• 40:52
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 40:53
  Speaker A: Helen competed, didn't she? Top level.
• 40:55
  Speaker C: And it's exactly for questions like that why I wasn't invited on the eventing podcast.
• 41:05
  Speaker A: It's all right, don't worry. When I put the post out about our collab with British Eventing and their podcast and I did my graphic, I called her the CEO of British Dressage, not only in the graphic but in the description as well.
• 41:19
  Speaker C: I mean, that's a third, right?
• 41:22
  Speaker B: Yeah, but I just, Sorry, I just like to. Just like to point out, I think I was very good there, Jenny, because literally within two minutes of you posting it, I was like, jenny. Yeah, you put the dress I was saying on, honestly.
• 41:33
  Speaker A: And I read it.
• 41:33
  Speaker B: They saw it. They'd already seen it, hadn't they?
• 41:36
  Speaker A: Yeah, I got in trouble, but it's like my brain went into just autopilot and then I read it like 400 times. I couldn't see it. So. Amazing, isn't it, how your brain, what you see.
• 41:44
  Speaker B: That's because you enjoyed the, you enjoyed that interview with the CEO of British Dressage so much.
• 41:49
  Speaker A: That was it, Jason. Yeah.
• 41:52
  Speaker B: Yeah, because it was really. Because it was really good. Definitely worth going back and listening to, guys or.
• 41:56
  Speaker A: I just needed to change my estrogen patch and get my brain working a bit better.
• 42:00
  Speaker C: Who knows if it makes you feel any better, Jenny, the first time I went on tour with bam, we got there, had done the entire, like entire first gig, we're packing down the trade stand and I was like, there are spelling mistakes all over these banners and we just like written all sorts. So then we didn't have time to change them before the next gig. So when we built the trade stand again to sell all the merchants, we just like strategically place like a Different picture in front of that word. Or like a pile of posters in front of that bit to make. She's like, let's just hide. Hide the bits where we went wrong and then they'll be better.
• 42:41
  Speaker B: Next.
• 42:41
  Speaker A: It says bum instead of bam.
• 42:43
  Speaker C: Yeah. Oh.
• 42:49
  Speaker A: Oh.
• 42:50
  Speaker B: Bombing Atkinson message.
• 42:51
  Speaker C: The bumming axe. That might get some more subscribers, you know that. Good.
• 42:57
  Speaker A: Everyone's like, oh, we didn't know Simon and Ben were doing a collab again.
• 43:01
  Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, I would enjoy that. Yeah.
• 43:07
  Speaker A: Oh, you are looking particularly devilishly handsome today, boys, I have to say. Right, Simon Greave, what have you been up to?
• 43:18
  Speaker B: What have I been up to? Been out competing.
• 43:22
  Speaker A: I saw videos of you dancing. You do have your signature dance moves. Could I just say, you do have, like, you. You do like this with your, like, like, punch the air type moves. I love it.
• 43:33
  Speaker B: Yeah, I do. And I do lots of hip moving and all that kind of stuff. I don't know. I love it.
• 43:39
  Speaker A: It's great.
• 43:40
  Speaker B: Yeah. No, so I went to. Yeah, so. So I went on. I went on the Hendoo for that. For a couple of days in Corfu, which was really nice. And then I came back a bit early and I went to Royal Ascot, which was really fun because Jay. So, yeah, honestly, I'm so. I'm so rubbish. So, like. So I hired a car while I was in Corfu and we went on a little crew, a cruise for the day. On the day. The. The. The day that was flying back. And I was like, well, I can just about manage that. So, like. Because there were like a couple of hours from when we were supposed to land back in the port before my flight. And then. And then James said. James never asked me to do anything. And. And he said. He specifically was like, can you please make sure that you come to Ascot with me? Because it's his best friend's birthday and, you know, it's going to be really good. Anyway, so. So I go off on this cruise and I come in in my early, a little bit late for. For the cruise. So I park up as quick as I can, jump on the boat, sail off. And I thought, I'm just going to quickly check to make sure that I have parked in the right place. So I. I Google on my. On my phone, okay, to park in the port where I've parked. And it says, you are very likely to be towed or your plates are likely to be removed. And then you'll have to get those back from the port police. But they are. They close at 2pm we weren't getting back till 6pm and, and then you won't be able to get them till Monday because it was on the Friday and honestly. So from. We left at 8am and we got back at 6:30 in the evening. Literally, I spent the entire day just stressing because I just thought, the thought of letting James down, the one thing he's asked me to do all year, just filled me with, filled me with dread. And you know what it's like when it's really. You're just feeling really shit about something or really worried about something and you stress about it. Stress about it. And then I got back and no one had even looked at the car. Oh, I thought, I was thinking, thank God for that. Anyway, sorry, that was a very long winded story.
• 45:33
  Speaker C: So I'm guessing that you weren't the most fun person on said cruise.
• 45:37
  Speaker B: I really wasn't. Like, poor Meg and Emily, they both came over and said, are you okay? And I was like, not really, no.
• 45:47
  Speaker C: I'm feeling really stressed out.
• 45:49
  Speaker B: And they tried really hard to be really nice and cheer me up. And I was like, yeah, no, that's not, that's not working.
• 45:54
  Speaker A: Oh, sorry, Susan.
• 45:57
  Speaker C: That's the best thing.
• 46:00
  Speaker B: So, so then we went to. Yeah, went to Ascot and that was really good. And then I went to the wedding and, and I just, I, I just love wedding. I love a wedding. Like, it's just. There's so much that's good about them, you know, like you've got obviously, you've got the couple who are obviously very much in love and. Which is, which is great and I love that and kind of mutts my heart. But it's also like dad doing the father's speech and father of the bride's speech and like, Mum's so proud and his parents are so proud and there's just so much love in the room. I just like, I just love it. I think so. It's so cool. It's like, it's a, it's been a highlight of my year and another highlight of my year was when I went to Rutland County. I went to go and watch Ben at Rutland county and I kind of left him. I went and said hi and then I left him to it and then I went off and with James and then we were doing something and then I looked over and there was a big merry go round and, and Ben and, and Wild were on the merry go round together. And it was just.
• 47:03
  Speaker C: Oh, it was just so nice.
• 47:06
  Speaker B: I just, I love all that kind
• 47:07
  Speaker C: of stuff that Was. Yeah, that was a really special. Because I like. As we went to look at the arena in the morning, Wilde looked over and saw it and I was like, oh, I actually have to slash get to do stuff like this now. So then like straight after the show, I was still in costume and I was like, I'm taking Wilde on the merry go round.
• 47:29
  Speaker B: Yeah, Honestly, it was like. It just obviously it didn't make me cry because I'm a proper lad and I'm double R'd. But. But I just looked over and I
• 47:38
  Speaker A: was like, probably one of the funniest things you've ever said, Simon.
• 47:43
  Speaker C: It's really nice, Simon. He's so lovely. He came in on the evening he finished work and was driving home and popped in to see us and then came back with your.
• 47:52
  Speaker B: Yeah, you're right. Just like, it was on my way to work and on my way back, so why wouldn't I? Definitely, definitely, definitely. I'd love to come and see more. To be fair, it was very impressive because I've not actually seen you perform properly like that.
• 48:06
  Speaker C: You have to come and see the big show because that was the small show, so you gotta see the full spectacle.
• 48:14
  Speaker B: Big stuff. And I've had Buster's back. He's had his first run back. We are hopefully, fingers crossed, peppering to go to Burley again and he'll have two more runs before that and he's on really good form at the minute. Fingers crossed, touching wood. And then Miracle is. Is on good form as well and he'll aim, he's going to aim to hopefully do Blenheim, but it just depends on how things go. And I've got some really nice young ones. I've got Cozy, who's really cute and he's done his first couple of one day events and he, he won. Well, he, he was, he was the best score in a one day event I did last week. And he's just like. You know when you have one that you just. Well, I mean, I love all of them but like, he's just really cute and just lovely to have around. And like you're trotting around and everyone's going. You just know that everyone's going, oh my God, that one's really nice. I'm like, yes, yes, he is.
• 49:09
  Speaker C: Can I ask a stupid question because. Because you said you were gonna say that you won on him and then you said you got the best score. Surely that's the same thing.
• 49:19
  Speaker B: Well, so, yeah, so I was into. I was in 80cm and so I Did it. And he did the best dressage, which is great. Then he jumped double clear and he won. And I just felt a bit uncomfortable. Bit like winning.
• 49:38
  Speaker C: It doesn't matter what level you're at, Simon will still hunt you down and beat you. Yeah, because that show you've been brave enough and built up to go to, don't worry, Simon will be there.
• 49:50
  Speaker B: He'll come and steal it. Yeah, exactly. So like, so if I was competing affiliated in an 80 or 90, I'd
• 49:56
  Speaker C: have to be HC.
• 49:58
  Speaker B: And so I just, I don't know, I just didn't feel quite right. So I just, when we'd finished, I was like, oh, it looks like we've won. I'll just. And I went to the section, I was like, look. And yeah, I'd rather if you just put me as hc, please. And they were so nice about it. They were like, oh, especially. They're like, oh no, you don't need to do that. I was like, yeah, no, I really do. I just would feel more comfortable and. And they were like, oh, well. But we've got a spare first place rosette, so you can have the rosette. And also they had an extra bucket of treats which was one of the prizes for the winners for Cosie to have. So, yeah, so it was great. Really nice little event.
• 50:30
  Speaker C: Such a good person.
• 50:32
  Speaker B: Oh, I know, I know.
• 50:35
  Speaker A: He's just trying to make sure he doesn't go to hell.
• 50:37
  Speaker B: Not really.
• 50:38
  Speaker A: For all that shit. Yeah, he's just trying to make sure you don't go to hell for all your other shit that you're doing. Just try to pick up those little ticks.
• 50:44
  Speaker B: The other, the other shit that I've done. I'm rotting in hell.
• 50:47
  Speaker C: I'd have been like posting a kind of blurry filtered thing of me and the horse. Just flash the first rosette. Oh, we won eventing today. Oh, that can go on socials. Oh, casual.
• 51:00
  Speaker A: I wouldn't know how that feels. Do you not think though with eventing like there should be a bit of an element of like the pros and the amiametters, my if like separating them or do you think it's fine for everyone just to compete against each other?
• 51:17
  Speaker B: I mean, personally, I think it's fine. Like I.
• 51:20
  Speaker A: That's because you're the pro.
• 51:22
  Speaker B: No, but I loved it when I first started eventing when I was like 16, I loved going to a competition and being warming up next to my heroes and obviously they beat me. But like, you know. Well, not necessarily to be fair, like there'd be times when I'd beat them and I'd be like, oh my God, I've just beaten whoever it was. And yeah, but then obviously when you. The more the better or the more you do, you suddenly become a bit more kind of negative about it. But I think it's a really healthy thing. I think it encourages you to push yourself even and to improve your training. And yeah, I think it's a good thing personally.
• 51:59
  Speaker C: What's the difference between a professional and an amateur?
• 52:03
  Speaker B: How you make your professionals professionals, how you actually make your living from it.
• 52:08
  Speaker C: So the only reason I say that is I always find that like a really weird. I think that has to be a thing because we've had like, I know the Bridalist competition's been like the first massive public one, but there's been other kind of stunty liberty competitions and stuff that I've been a part of on things in the past and I've always found that a really awkward because people will be like, oh no, that person's a professional because they make money doing it. But then like, that could mean that, like, say I was really good with young horses at grassroots or whatever do you know, doing like 80 centimeters or whatever. And you get loads of people paying you to bring their youngsters on or bring their dream horse on because that's the level they want to do. Then your class does as much as a professional or someone who's, yeah, winning badminton, do, you know, so like those things I always find weird. Or you could just be filthy rich and be like, yeah, I've got. I've bought the best horse in the world and have the best trainers in the world, but I earn my money with my software company in California. So I.
• 53:09
  Speaker B: So I am actually an amateur.
• 53:10
  Speaker C: I'm an amateur. Like I always find that a weird one. But I don't know. I know what you like. Even though I don't compete or anything. When I've like. We visited the Great Yorkshire show yesterday and even just Ian John Whittaker walk across the warm up, not even on a horse. I was like, oh, George, George, it's John. He's so cool. He is a ledge.
• 53:33
  Speaker B: He is alleged is the Great Yorkshire where they do the knob of the
• 53:37
  Speaker C: north, the KPOC of the North. The Great Yorkshire is the greatest show on earth about anything because it's in Yorkshire, it's in God's county. It is the best show. I stand by it. It's got the classiest showground. The Food hall is a hall, not a Tent. The arenas.
• 53:59
  Speaker B: Those are actual buildings.
• 54:00
  Speaker C: Yeah, like. And even the goats, the goats have their own building, the pigs have their own build. Everyone has their own building. It's, it's, it's a very classy. It's in Harrogate. For goodness sake. It's lovely.
• 54:13
  Speaker B: So it's spectacular. Absolutely spectacular.
• 54:15
  Speaker C: Bloody perfect. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Where they have the. Of the north is the. The Great Yorkshire. Loved it. Got to see our mate. Our friend Dan has a team called Bold Dog fmx and they do like. I posted a clip on socials from them yesterday. But they do, you know, they were performing there where they do the crosser. You know, what do you call them? Crosser bikes. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like. They do like. They've got the biggest ramp in the world that like portable ramp in the world. Does it. And they do like back flips on the motorbikes.
• 54:48
  Speaker B: Like over a load of cars.
• 54:50
  Speaker C: Well, no, just like ridiculously high. It's the most insane act in the world. And it's so funny cause I watch it and while we're watching it, I'm saying to George, I'm like, why does anyone hire me? Like this is so cool. Look at these guys. They're so like insane.
• 55:04
  Speaker B: I can, I can totally see why people do. Having watched you live,
• 55:10
  Speaker A: I have a question. Have you noticed since the old bridalness competition, any uptake more uptake on your people wanting to learn liberty type stuff?
• 55:27
  Speaker C: Yeah. And no. Yeah. Not massively. But maybe that's because this could sound very gauche but like because I'm quite. Very gauche. Like because I'm quite well known, people hunt me down to learn liberty quite a lot. Anyway, anyway, yeah, I've had a bit more of a like so on on www.Ben AtkinsonMethod.com Sign up today. First week's free. The like our. We do. I do webinars every month. Like lectures for like an hour and a half, two hours and all. And I sort of come up with my own plans. But I also ask my people what they want to see and bridal us. We're doing a bridal series at the moment.
• 56:23
  Speaker A: My people. He's like the horse Jesus.
• 56:26
  Speaker B: I ask my people, my disciples.
• 56:30
  Speaker C: No, they're just my team. My people. Yeah, but we were in the middle of a different subject and they were like, we won't bridle us. So I definitely have noticed that, but not really. I've had a few. I've got a few exciting things I've had a competitive rider, not anybody I think you guys will know, and I don't want to say their name on this. Anyway, I can tell you after, but I don't think you'll know who they are. But I've had like a random competitive rider reach out for me and ask me, like, if we can arrange like a business call or something. Like, they just want to ask me loads of horse training questions and stuff. And I suspect that that is spurred on from the bridal less. From the bridal less thing. But yeah, I've not seen a massive change in the liberty landscape.
• 57:22
  Speaker B: Is there more coming up with bridalist competitions?
• 57:25
  Speaker A: Yeah, they've just announced they've got another one coming up, I think.
• 57:29
  Speaker C: Yeah, I think they've got one on November 14th.
• 57:32
  Speaker A: I have a question for you, Simon. If you could rewind your life, because this is something I'm kind of struggling with in my head with my. My horses. If you could start your life over again, still be an event to still work with horses, still do all of that, do you think, but still have the knowledge that you have now, you would incorporate some of Ben into you how you trained horses from the start.
• 58:02
  Speaker B: Well, yeah, I mean, that's quite a difficult one to kind of answer, really, isn't it? I suppose because you. Things were so different back then, but I didn't even know stuff like that
• 58:11
  Speaker A: existed, like when I was training horses. Like, you've got the Monty Python chasing Monty Python. Monty Roberts chase horses round in a circle until they join us.
• 58:21
  Speaker B: We are the knights who say, nina,
• 58:23
  Speaker A: we are the knights of Nick. He's very naughty guy. Very naughty boy.
• 58:29
  Speaker B: Your mother was an abstair on. Your father smelled velderberries.
• 58:34
  Speaker A: Just a waffle minster. Anyway, Ben's too young for that. Do you remember Monty Python, Ben?
• 58:44
  Speaker C: Love Monty Python.
• 58:45
  Speaker A: Okay, good.
• 58:46
  Speaker C: Yeah. My favorite is meaning of life. To be fair, more than life of Brian or the Holy Grail. Holy Grail is just.
• 58:54
  Speaker B: It's just amazing.
• 58:56
  Speaker A: I. I think Lily Blythe is one of my favorites as well. Just a waffle.
• 59:00
  Speaker C: It's the. It's. Yeah, just a waffle. It's the. For me, it's the Catholics and the meaning of life. When that woman's washing up and she goes, oh, sorry, darling, just pick that up. And she's like. Just sneezed and another baby's fallen out of her. She's like, oh, my God. And they sing that song that every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is good.
• 59:26
  Speaker A: Every sperm no.
• 59:27
  Speaker C: Is needed in your neighborhood.
• 59:32
  Speaker A: Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great. If a sperm gets wasted, God gets quite irate.
• 59:41
  Speaker C: Yeah, see, it's a great film. That's Wong with the youth of today. Less TikTok, more Monty Python.
• 59:47
  Speaker A: Oh, but Life of Brian. I'm sorry, who are you calling big nose? Well, he has, he's got a big nose.
• 59:54
  Speaker B: They were so ahead of their time as well, those guys.
• 59:58
  Speaker A: Oh, so funny. But anyway, to get back to my question, do you think would you train with a bit of liberty, having known how he does?
• 1:00:09
  Speaker B: Yeah, I think I would.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker C: But I don't think you do everything. You've been very good. Be quiet. Sorry, it's my dog. Like, I don't think Simon's someone who, I've never watched you with a horse do anything and thought, oh, I could help with her. Like, you're kind, you're conscious, you know, you're, you're very aware of your horses. Do you know that's the.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker B: Yeah, I mean when I was younger, the. I was brought up very much with the old fashioned kind of mentality of basically the horses will conform. And I would, I'd, I'd like to think that I would do it things like, I don't know, let's do things better or be more horse friendly, if.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker C: So we have a lot of the horsemanship events, we do these things that what they call round tables where they'll say, get like me and four other like well known trainers and we'll all sort of like discuss things and talk. And one thing that often comes up is that nearly all of us when we're on one of those will sort of tell a version of the same story, which is, I've always worked with horses, but honestly, if me now saw me at 20 or younger working a horse, I'd probably give myself a slap because I was doing things the wrong way. And so we all talk about this idea and I know we've said this before on the podcast, this mission of we can't jump in a time machine. So the mission now is to make sure how that the next generation from the age of 10 are doing things correctly or at least trying to, opposed to having to get to be 25, 30 before they go, oh crap, like there's a better way to do things.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker A: But I do think a lot of it boils down to time, like what you do, Ben. I think when you're producing a horse and like being able to train a horse to be one with you, not just be a beholden to what you wish it to do, I'm not saying that that's what we do. Do you know what I mean? What I'm trying to say is I think to the level that you are doing with your horses takes a lot more time than just the reason, the
• 1:02:33
  Speaker C: reason I stopped taking training horses in was because it would look absurd the amount of money I would have to charge per week to make it worth my while. Yeah, from the amount like just knowing from the amount of time like I've got two youngsters in at the moment, two three year olds that are like starting from scratch really. And the amount of time I plow into those horses, if I was doing that with someone else's horse, they'd have to compensate me so handsomely to make it viable. So I just stopped taking training horses in really because I was like I don't have, I don't have the time to cut out of my day. And if I was going to get, you know, people you just get left at from the amount of money I'd have to charge to, to do it. Which is like the most extreme example of this being like I got a rescue horse and the day he that like I've rehomed him now and he's really happy and he's been backed and he's doing really well. But when I got him he was so feral. He'd never been touched by humans and he was like five, he was a stallion and it took me eight hours with him in a foaling box to get a head collar on him the first day. And like I didn't like a lot of that was just moving in the stable, like not moving him, moving me, getting him to look at me, getting him to be interested in me spending enough time in there, not doing a lot then show him that I was actually boring and non threatening and, but he had.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker B: And that takes a lot of time.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker C: Yeah, it took eight hours that day. Yeah, like it, yeah. But I just was like I need a head collar on this horse. Like we, we need to get. Cause he was so feral. Do you know like. And that is, that brings me to a thing. Cause two of the youngsters I've got at the moment, the three year olds, one of them was actually the brother of that rescue and one of them I bought from a friend and it's taken me weeks to get the rescue one to like wear a roller and a saddle and not freak out about it. The other one I bought from a friend, he's probably coming up four now. Probably is four now to be fair, I'M terrible with their ages. And I put a roller on him for the first time today, and you'd have thought he'd been tacked up every day all his life. Because I know the family is from. He's from Oliver Phillips, OG Performance Horses. If anybody would like to buy a nice Spanish young horse. And they've handled him so well and groomed him and done all of that faff with him that, you know, things that you take for granted. Like, I can groom him and not get worried about being kicked in the head. I can pick his. If he start. If we're walking across the stones and then he limps a bit, I can pick his front foot up and get the hoof pick and sort it out. No drama. Do you know, like, he wore a rug as a youngster, so, of course, putting a roller and stuff on him for the first time, not a big deal. But then when you've got, like, this other one as a comparison, everything you know is like. And it's. So handle your young horses. If you're going to be someone that's going to breed babies and have them around, handle them when they're little because, my goodness, it makes their life easier when they get older.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker A: Even just touch. Running your hands down their legs.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Just things like that touching under their. Under their back legs.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker C: Play back legs with them when they're little. Don't make me do it with them when they're 15 hands and they're really strong and really quick and I have got like this. Yeah. When you're, like, sometimes when they kick out and stuff. Now I'm like, I am not as quick as I used to be when I was younger.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker A: Like, crikey, you still are young, Ben. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not as old as me and Simon.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker C: The only reason I don't. I know I'm still young, but when I surround myself with trick riders in their early 20s, you're like, oh, yeah, I ain't that young. I can't. Like the second night at Bolesworth when they were all like, we're gonna go out again. And I was like, good for you.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker B: Night.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker C: I felt like death all day because we went out last night. I need sleep. Thank you.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker A: Oh, I can't. I can't do two one night now. And the guilt I feel from having a few glasses of wine and being drunk, I'm just like, ugh, I'm the worst.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker C: You feel guilt?
• 1:07:08
  Speaker B: I just feel.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I get, like, massive, like, anxiety the next day. Even If I had a few glasses of wine, like, questioning my life.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker B: I just suffer. I just suffer for days. And it's not just. It's not just one hangover. It's like it's a continuous hangover for quite a long time.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker A: Do you know what I don't get so here? A lot of people have gone over to the Calgary Stampede, which I don't. Never been to, so I don't want to criticize too much, but dressage horses get a lot of shit. Show jumpers, not very much. Whatever. Why does no one seem to be up in arms about rodeos?
• 1:07:47
  Speaker C: I mean, people are up in arms
• 1:07:50
  Speaker A: about rodeos because that can't be very fun for horses.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker C: It's such a difficult one, isn't it?
• 1:08:00
  Speaker A: The bucking rodeo thing, like, there. Because how old are they? I don't know anything about it, so I'm not gonna go down the rabbit hole. But it does just surprise me that there isn't like. Well, there might be, like, sites that are really anti it, but it doesn't. Like, so many people over here say to me, oh, are you. So you work with horses? You're gonna go to the stampede? I'm like, no. I have absolutely take no pleasure in watching a horse trying to buck off a man.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker C: I think. I don't know, because, like, I like. Like, this is my rodeo is like my guilty pleasure, as in, like, I'll watch a bit of rodeo because you can't not. But those horses, as far as I'm aware, there'll be good people and bad people, won't they, like, because, like, I follow some YouTube channels of people that do it, and, like, they'll go down to the sales and just buy like a load of horse, like some random horses and some random bulls from the sales, and then they take them home, they put them in the shoe, they jump on them, and if they buck like mad, they keep them. And if the. If the horse or the bull doesn't want to book, then they're like, okay, cool, back to the sales. Like, they don't do anything to try and get them to do. You know, they just. They have a.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker A: That's not true. I know they put things around their bellies and stuff like that to make them.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker C: They put a flank strap on.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker A: I think there's some. In the same way as there's show jumpers that do.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker C: There will be dodgy things. But I also. I don't know. I don't know. Like, my knowledge of horses is. I don't think, like, it's funny you bring this up because one of the guys I follow posted a video today explaining all the flank straps and stuff. Like, I can send you a link to it if you want to see it.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker A: Maybe we need to get someone on.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker C: Maybe we should get someone on.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker A: Like.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker C: Cause a horse would just bolt. It wouldn't buck. And like, when they don't want to. So, like, you get a re ride. Like, it happens sometimes where, like, they pull the gate at the rodeo and the animal doesn't leave. It just stands there and they're like, cool, well, that one's retired. Then untack it. Done. Like, and they have, like. I don't know. I don't think in general they're bad to these animals. And even if that animal has, like, the longest ride they'll do is eight seconds. So I think. I also think it's a cultural thing.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker C: Because when I was.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker A: That's something I know so little about. But since living here, like, so many people go to it, it is huge. The stampede or the rodeos down in Fort Worth, because obviously we were down in Texas. Like, I didn't realize quite. Like, I knew it was big, but I didn't realize astronomically big. Like.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker C: Oh, it's huge.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker C: And there's so many events because you've got your rough stock. So you've got saddle Bronx, bareback Bronx, which is horses. Then you've got the bull riding. Then you've got. They're four in hand chuck wagon racing. So do you know, like, Boyd Excel
• 1:11:10
  Speaker A: style driving in a chuck wagon wagon racing this year.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker C: Did they see like that? Like the ones. And then you've got the. I don't know what they call it, but is it like the quarter mile where you race a mile in quarters. So you have four horses and the rider transfers to different horses and stuff. And the one that always make the roping is what makes me sort of the roping and the bulldogging. So bulldogging is where you ride a horse alongside a cow and then throw yourself off the horse onto the cow and by its horns pull it to the floor.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker C: And that looks like a really bad time. And I think the cows and stuff that get roped are the ones that have the worst time of it.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker A: Yeah. And I can see why. It used to be a thing because that was a skill, wasn't it? You had to be able to on the planes. I've watched Yellowstone, but it's not. I just. I just don't think it should be entertainment.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker C: I tell you what, the wild three Year old I've got at the moment. If they did rodeos over here, he would sell. I tell you. My dad saw it book once in the round pen and said, I don't think that should be a ridden horse.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker B: Oh, God. So it was really bad.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 1:12:31
  Speaker B: Like turning itself inside out.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker C: Yeah. And it just had a roller. It's because he. It's my fault. He jumped, I jumped. He got away from me a bit. The rope was. I let go of the lead rope. It was my fault. But no, I think maybe we should get a rodeo person on to talk. I think that could be cool.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker B: I think that'd be really interesting because I know absolutely nothing about it.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker A: And that's the thing. Like, I don't want to go down that route without the education of it. Like, I know there's things that I feel uncomfortable with, but I'd rather be educated on it than go off on a tangent.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker C: Because, like, last time I was in Kentucky, what I found really amusing, the flip side of this is that none of them would blink a rodeo. And they are beside themselves horrified at the size of the cross country fences. We event over at stuff like badminton. Because when I asked them about rodeos, they were like, you guys do that? Like, but then we know. So do you know what I mean? Like, we know that, how our sport
• 1:13:30
  Speaker A: works, but also look at the grand national and things like that. Do you know what I mean? There's all. It's all, where is your moral compass on what you feel like a horse should be asked to do?
• 1:13:41
  Speaker C: And money isn't it. Money. Money is the big driver of these things, isn't it?
• 1:13:47
  Speaker A: Well, that's what we're here to chat about. So I know Simon is super tired and we have already been going for an hour, so I'm going to ask you boys what's annoyed you this week? Simon's having a good think, pondering a specific cyclist. Oh, you've had another cycling incident. Oh, God. Can the Internet cope with Ben slagging off another cyclist?
• 1:14:13
  Speaker C: I know I'm doing well today. I've talked about porn mags, the fact that I quite like a rodeo, and now I'm going after cyclists. So this is. This is really going to be bad for Bam Sales.
• 1:14:22
  Speaker B: You're doing.
• 1:14:22
  Speaker C: You're doing well.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker C: My PR team are going to be disgusted.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker A: You have a PR team? Who are you?
• 1:14:29
  Speaker C: My PR team? By that I mean my business partner and my wife who will be like, do you not like money?
• 1:14:34
  Speaker B: Like, what are you doing?
• 1:14:35
  Speaker A: Why are you saying these things?
• 1:14:36
  Speaker C: In the public. I'm not me. Mic over. Right, so we are leaving the Yorkshire show, the greatest show on earth. Sold out, by the way. Name me another county show that sells out 170,000 tickets.
• 1:14:51
  Speaker A: Boom.
• 1:14:51
  Speaker C: Yorkshire.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker A: Wow, that is a lot of tickets. They.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker C: Yeah, and that's just spectators. That's not people. That's not like anyone with a cow or a horse or a sheep or whatever. Anyway, so I'm leaving that show and of course the traffic is disgusting. And we're behind the traffic, we're behind the traffic and then like, you know, stop, start five miles an hour. And then we're going along and I'm like, I swear there's not that much. There's one car in front of me and there's a car and trailer in front of me. And I'm like, I swear that we should be out of the traffic. And then the car and trailer goes to overtake. And I've not been in show traffic for quite some time. There's just a bloody cyclist going along. So I'm still. I've been doing five miles an hour for so much longer.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker A: Oh, what a day to day for a cycle ride.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker C: No, it doesn't. I would say it more amuses me now because of the hate that everybody gave me last time for being angry at cyclists. I want you all to know that now, actually, when I see one, I chuckle to myself.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker A: I hope people send you cycling videos. As much as I get corgi videos, I got a video. So many people have sent me the video of loads of dogs playing fly ball. Have you seen that? Where they run and grab the tennis ball and run back with it and one of them's a corgi and it's like, check out. Who knew a corgi could move like this? And I've just replied to everyone who sent me that video going, sorry, this isn't real. This is AI. Yeah, Corgis don't move that fast. And if it was, it would be savaging everyone. But, yeah, I love it.
• 1:16:25
  Speaker B: Does it move really fast, though? Is it fast?
• 1:16:28
  Speaker A: It's pretty rapid and it jumps. Well, that's what they. That's half my issue, Simon. Corgis are fast and designed to bite the heels of cattle. It's just we take them on, put them in a house, make them fat and make them vicious. This is. This is what happens, everybody. No, I'm joking. Just some people. Okay. God, I'm gonna get attacked again. Anyway, what's annoyed you, Simon?
• 1:16:50
  Speaker B: Oh, I feel like a bit of an Old man, really. But like the youth of today.
• 1:16:56
  Speaker A: Oh, here we go.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker B: They're just like. I've just kind of noticed, like.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker C: Cause we get.
• 1:17:05
  Speaker B: There are quite a lot of, like, liveries at my place and there are a lot of kind of young. Young ones and young people. And I've kind.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker A: I've.
• 1:17:13
  Speaker B: I've established or realized that when I go down to the yard in the morning and if those guys are there, if I don't say good morning to them, they will not even acknowledge my existence.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker A: Oh, Simon.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker B: And I find that, like, I was brought up that regardless, like, you acknowledge somebody, you say good morning, or you and you normally have a bit of a chat. But, like, it just seems. Is that. Is that just me or is that a bit of a new thing that, like, it seems to be like, anyone under the age of, like, 25. Although to be fair, Brooke, who works for me, she's 21 and she's. She's very. She's lovely. But. And like, there are plenty of young people that are great. But I don't know, it's just something I've noticed. I'm like, if I don't say anything, then nothing is said.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker A: And then that's annoyed me. England being knocked out of the World
• 1:18:03
  Speaker C: cup, that actually annoyed you?
• 1:18:06
  Speaker A: Yeah. Sad times. I love any kind. My favorite thing. Sport. Watching sport, being with my friends, being in the pub. Bloody love it.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker B: Can I say I. John, I was
• 1:18:16
  Speaker C: just going to say as an extra. What's annoyed me. Not annoyed me. This has perplexed me all my life.
• 1:18:23
  Speaker A: I love.
• 1:18:23
  Speaker C: I watch a bit of horse sport a bit more now I have you two in my life and I feel I should. But I also enjoy horses every day. Even though I don't keep up to date with horse sport, I enjoy horses every day that I can. The barrier to entry for horses is quite high. You've got quite a lot of money to. Right. The barrier to entry to play football is low. You need a ball you can play. You can dick about by yourself. You just get some mates, have a drink, a park, a garden, a street, wherever.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker A: Jumper on the floor, done, goal made.
• 1:19:00
  Speaker C: But the amount of people I know that are, like, obsessed with football act like this has been life or death. But then if you were like, when was the last time you kicked a football? They couldn't tell you.
• 1:19:12
  Speaker B: Yeah, it is mad.
• 1:19:13
  Speaker C: I find that really weird. Like, I'm so into that. This is my life and death. Cool. Do you ever play with your mates? Are like, no.
• 1:19:22
  Speaker B: Yeah, but they. Yeah, but it's not. They don't play with it, but they, like, they're down the pub with their mates talking about it and, like, it's.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker A: I just think if it's that cool,
• 1:19:34
  Speaker C: like watching Roz win badminton, super cool. But I would actually say, personally, if you're someone that just enjoys your horse, probably have more fun on a hack.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker C: On your horse, doing less cool stuff. That's the bit that I find weird about it. I've always thought this in my mind with football. Sorry, it's very definitely.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker A: But, like, say football, the kids that James plays with, because everyone's struggling with. Right. Trying to work around kids and childcare and everything, we go and throw them out on the Astroturf for two hours most mornings in the week so adults can get some work done and we just leave them and they can all do it. I couldn't just go and rock up and leave Delilah because there are no yards around here. But nowadays it's not. So.
• 1:20:22
  Speaker C: No.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker A: Like, unless you have access to horses and a yard and everything and blah, blah, blah. But all those kids can just go and for free, go and play football for as long as they want. No health and safety, no nothing. Just go play football.
• 1:20:37
  Speaker B: I do often think that I would quite like that if my sport wasn't horses. I like to be really good at tennis or something. Or why not say really good, like, really enjoy tennis? Because then I can just go and play and then come home and then put my tennis racket by the back door and that's it. Don't need to worry about it. Don't need to feed it the next day.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker C: You say that, though, but you probably wouldn't, would you? Like, one of my mates, one of my best mates plays Airsoft. I don't know if you've heard of Airsoft.
• 1:21:05
  Speaker B: What is Airsoft?
• 1:21:06
  Speaker C: Airsoft. It's like paintballing with bbs.
• 1:21:12
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:21:12
  Speaker C: Okay, that sounds painful. The bruises he comes back with. And you'd think you go play a game.
• 1:21:18
  Speaker B: I'm gonna say it doesn't sound very soft.
• 1:21:20
  Speaker C: No.
• 1:21:20
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:21:21
  Speaker C: They come back with proper. Like, he has to wear body armor and stuff because otherwise he's like, oh, yeah, at least my arms and legs get bruised. But I've got my face mask and my body armor on, so the body and face is all right. But, like, you think that you just. I say leave your kit by the door, but he's forever taking everything to bits and modifying this piece and changing that. And I suppose you get into it. Whatever you do, don't You.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's true.
• 1:21:43
  Speaker A: Right. Should I read you a poem my daughter wrote for me?
• 1:21:49
  Speaker C: Yes. What's this poem? Have you heard this, Simon? No, I haven't.
• 1:21:56
  Speaker B: I'm just not quite sure to expense.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker A: I thought I was a good person.
• 1:22:00
  Speaker B: Mum is always angry.
• 1:22:02
  Speaker A: You're fast, you're beautiful, you're strong, you're kind, but when you're mad, you're out of your mind.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker C: Yeah. Was that ghostwritten by Gregor?
• 1:22:18
  Speaker B: Oh, you need to frame that.
• 1:22:20
  Speaker A: I know. Isn't it brilliant? Isn't it brilliant? And then she had to create a poem and the things. And write all the things in it. So she wrote mummy, but she wrote it with an O, which really upsets me. But we do live in Canada now. Kind, hard working. Then she had to write a verb and she wrote yelling. Yelling, another verb. Hugging, another verb. Loving. And then an adjective. She wrote funny, another one fun. And then the noun mummy. So yelling, hugging and loving always sums me up. I thought you quite enjoyed that.
• 1:22:56
  Speaker B: That is you. That is definitely you.
• 1:22:58
  Speaker A: Yes. Very loving, but very loud. Right, you beautiful boys. Anything else you want to share?
• 1:23:05
  Speaker B: Oh, I'm doing a demo.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker A: Yay. Yes, you are.
• 1:23:09
  Speaker B: And if anybody would like to come, it's in Norfolk. It's at Eastern College. And yeah, if you want to come, tickets are available on Horsemonkey. There's a link in my bio on Instagram.
• 1:23:21
  Speaker C: When is it, Simon?
• 1:23:23
  Speaker B: It's on the 5th of August.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker C: 5th of August. What time is it?
• 1:23:26
  Speaker B: Which is a Wednesday. So it's hump day and hump day.
• 1:23:30
  Speaker A: What's hump day?
• 1:23:31
  Speaker B: My favorite day. Hump day. It's the middle of the week.
• 1:23:34
  Speaker C: You don't know hump day. Wednesday's hump day.
• 1:23:37
  Speaker B: Wednesday is hump day.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker C: You've got up day and it's not
• 1:23:39
  Speaker B: what you think, Jenny. It's not what you think.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker C: And now you're downhill to the weekend
• 1:23:44
  Speaker B: over the. You're peaking. The week is peaked.
• 1:23:48
  Speaker A: I've never heard that expression before.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker C: So you do the weekend when you're younger?
• 1:23:53
  Speaker A: I get the concert, Ben. It's fine.
• 1:23:55
  Speaker C: Monday and Friday, you claw your carcass through. Wednesday's better because now Thursday and Friday, it's the weekend again. Hump day. Anyway, Simon's having a hump day demo.
• 1:24:06
  Speaker A: That doesn't work.
• 1:24:07
  Speaker B: I'm doing a hump day. Well, it's not a demo. It's an evening with Simon Grief.
• 1:24:12
  Speaker A: An evening with Simon Greave. You're so famous, you can do evening
• 1:24:15
  Speaker C: hump with Simon Greave.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker B: An evening Hump with Simon.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker A: What can they expect from your demo, Simon?
• 1:24:22
  Speaker B: So I'm gonna bring some horses and ride them and talk about my system a little bit and do some jumpies. And then I'm gonna talk a bit about, like, confidence and, like, mental stuff and then do a bit of a
• 1:24:39
  Speaker C: Q and A. Amazing, everybody.
• 1:24:44
  Speaker B: I'm really excited about it. It should be really fun. Hopefully.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker C: I think I'm really glad you're doing it. I think it's very exciting.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker A: I think it's very exciting as well. And I'm glad there is no humping because that would be weird.
• 1:24:57
  Speaker B: Well, there might be later on. Yeah.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker A: Too much. Right, you lovely, beautiful people. Also, in other news, we're also going to be at your Horse Live again this year. They've invited us back despite my swear word and complaint. This is very exciting.
• 1:25:15
  Speaker B: We had a great time last year. To be fair, it was really good. And, yeah, Ben going around on his little scooter.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker A: Yeah, Right. But on that note, unless you have anything else of interest to say,
• 1:25:31
  Speaker C: the
• 1:25:31
  Speaker B: face there is like you clearly don't.
• 1:25:33
  Speaker A: What? Oh, I can hear my children chatting at each other.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker B: Don't even think about it.
• 1:25:37
  Speaker A: I'm maxed out on the time that a iPad is usable, so I love you both, but all that is left to say is shut up and ride
• 1:25:46
  Speaker C: Shut up and ride, Ride, ride, ride Shut up, shut up and ride, ride, ride, ride.
• 1:25:56
  Speaker A: Oh, do shut up.